"Anonymous Confessions: The legend of pissbitch".

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loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Those were short and we've got a bunch more in the queue and also I'm drinking beer that is way too strong for an empty stomach rn so let's have some more

quote:

I liked Suicide Squad and thought Leto's Joker was unironically the best Joker in film to date.

quote:

I have never cared about 9/11 or the Twin Towers.

I only vaguely remember when it happened because I was sitting in class and the teacher brought out a radio and I was surprised we interrupted class to listen to a radio of all things. I had never heard of the towers before and, for many days, I thought the whole thing was just some minor incident.

While I don't care much about the event, I do care a lot that some terrorists get the honor of "defining an era" or something stupid like that, and we get all these new "security" things and a bunch of new wars.

And why do we "never forget" Pearl Harbor and 9/11, but tragedies like say Katrina or the March of Tears is presumably fine to? What am I supposed to do with this or that memory, but not the others?

I typed out some more stuff, but then it became less of a confession and more of an opinion piece or something.

I probably just got added to some list somewhere...

I feel like both of these deserve that meme where an angel comes down from on high with a piece of paper that says "ok"

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 17:14

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

i'm shocked the guy who had never heard of the world trade center doesn't know it's called the trail of tears.

the leto one is the most embarrassing one yet.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:39

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I dunno if any of you guys have ever tried this poo poo but it is loving fantastic and also kicking my rear end right now. The next confessions on the list are less boring than the previous ones, so I'm gonna post them.

quote:

I have to urinate a lot at nigth. So i have started using a big tea cup as a pisspot so that i dont have to walk back and forth between bedroom and toilet 5 times a nigth. Every morning i empty the contents into the toilet and wash the cup thoroughly. I still use this cup to drink tea and other liquids. There is no effect on the taste and there is no lingering smell.Yeah its unhygenic but its also very convenient.

quote:

I have a massive porn collection. I have over 500,000 pictures and over six terabytes of video. It�s all well curated too. I have accumulated this collection over the past 12-13 years. I don�t even like to watch porn all that much but on occasion I will fire up an old Julia Bond or Claire Dames video from 2005 and feel nostalgic not about porn but about life.

I�ve considered deleting the stash a few times but I never go through with it. My girlfriend doesn�t know about it because I keep my collection on an external hard drive that I keep in a safe that has important information like my will, key to a lockbox at the bank, etc. I buy a new external HDD each year and back up my files that way. I just don�t trust cloud storage and I hate streaming video.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:41

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Groovelord Neato posted:

they're more right than you are.

*nodding and smiling*

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:47

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

GORDON posted:

*nodding and smiling*

I AM
WHAT'S
WRONG
WITH
AMERICA

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:49

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Superdude255 posted:

Lol, I changed my entire career so I wouldnt have to relocate to California (probably the last place in the US I'd move to--The Dakotas or Montana might be nice I guess).

I bet your pimp was really pissed off.

What's your beef with California, anyway?

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:53

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

im hearing a lot that people actually liked Suicide Squad

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:56

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

loquacius posted:

I AM
WHAT'S
WRONG
WITH
AMERICA

Some peeps got to strap 24/7 for their jobs, mr. pee pants.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:57

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

quote:

I have never cared about 9/11 or the Twin Towers.

I only vaguely remember when it happened because I was sitting in class and the teacher brought out a radio and I was surprised we interrupted class to listen to a radio of all things. I had never heard of the towers before and, for many days, I thought the whole thing was just some minor incident.

While I don't care much about the event, I do care a lot that some terrorists get the honor of "defining an era" or something stupid like that, and we get all these new "security" things and a bunch of new wars.

And why do we "never forget" Pearl Harbor and 9/11, but tragedies like say Katrina or the March of Tears is presumably fine to? What am I supposed to do with this or that memory, but not the others?

I typed out some more stuff, but then it became less of a confession and more of an opinion piece or something.

I probably just got added to some list somewhere...

Sorry your special ed teacher interrupted class with something educational and made you stop eating paste and boogers to listen to it.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:58

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Putty posted:

im hearing a lot that people actually liked Suicide Squad

Putty I really don't think that's true

# ? Aug 13, 2016 23:35

Zorodius: Feb 11, 2007; EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

quote:

I liked Suicide Squad and thought Leto's Joker was unironically the best Joker in film to date.

I was not fooled by this obviously fake confession

# ? Aug 13, 2016 23:40

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

loquacius posted:

I have never cared about 9/11 or the Twin Towers.

I only vaguely remember when it happened because I was sitting in class and the teacher brought out a radio and I was surprised we interrupted class to listen to a radio of all things. I had never heard of the towers before and, for many days, I thought the whole thing was just some minor incident.

While I don't care much about the event, I do care a lot that some terrorists get the honor of "defining an era" or something stupid like that, and we get all these new "security" things and a bunch of new wars.

And why do we "never forget" Pearl Harbor and 9/11, but tragedies like say Katrina or the March of Tears is presumably fine to? What am I supposed to do with this or that memory, but not the others?

I typed out some more stuff, but then it became less of a confession and more of an opinion piece or something.

I probably just got added to some list somewhere...

I'm guessing you hear "low functioning" a lot

# ? Aug 13, 2016 23:43

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

Lol at "IDK about 9/11" confessor being ridiculed by people on the forums that produced tribute.wmv

# ? Aug 13, 2016 23:57

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

loquacius posted:

Those were short and we've got a bunch more in the queue and also I'm drinking beer that is way too strong for an empty stomach rn so let's have some more

I feel like both of these deserve that meme where an angel comes down from on high with a piece of paper that says "ok"

can someone post that meme? I was actually looking for it the other day and couldn't google it up.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:02

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

A Strange Aeon posted:

can someone post that meme? I was actually looking for it the other day and couldn't google it up.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:22

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

is no one going to comment on the goon who pisses and drinks from the same tea cup???

also, supposedly (I haven't seen it) the suicide squad movie is "functional" as dumb action flick. but jared leto has been bad in everything he's ever been in throughout his entire career so idk

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:23

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

SciFiDownBeat posted:

is no one going to comment on the goon who pisses and drinks from the same tea cup???

also, supposedly (I haven't seen it) the suicide squad movie is "functional" as dumb action flick. but jared leto has been bad in everything he's ever been in throughout his entire career so idk

He was good in Lord of War. And I hear he did good in that movie where he played the gay AIDS dude. Or was it cross dressing? I dunno he won an award for that, I didn't see it. But he was good in Lord of War. And Requiem for a Dream, right?

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:25

client: Aug 19, 2010

SciFiDownBeat posted:

is no one going to comment on the goon who pisses and drinks from the same tea cup???

also, supposedly (I haven't seen it) the suicide squad movie is "functional" as dumb action flick. but jared leto has been bad in everything he's ever been in throughout his entire career so idk

he was really good as the stupid obnoxious rear end in a top hat who gets axed to death in american psycho.

the role he was born to play

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:33

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

client posted:

he was really good as the stupid obnoxious rear end in a top hat who gets axed to death in american psycho.

the role he was born to play

Ditto getting his pretty face punched to mush in Fight Club

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:33

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

I liked Suicide Squad but I'll admit that it has some glaring flaws and suffered from Warner Bros. and David Ayer not agreeing on how to cut the film. A lot of the negative reviews seem really exaggerated about how bad they thought it was. It's a functional, generally faithful adaptation of the comics.

I've mostly seem bad reviews from professional critics and goons. Fans and neutral people have been liking it more.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:35

kaschei: Oct 25, 2005

If you're healthy urine is sterile and so if it doesn't affect the taste keep on Mr. Hasneverheardofabedpan

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:37

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

Pretty sure the recurring sock-donged-singers guy and the public-pee-on-me-party guy are one and the same.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:39

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

chitoryu12 posted:

I liked Suicide Squad but I'll admit that it has some glaring flaws and suffered from Warner Bros. and David Ayer not agreeing on how to cut the film. A lot of the negative reviews seem really exaggerated about how bad they thought it was. It's a functional, generally faithful adaptation of the comics.

I've mostly seem bad reviews from professional critics and goons. Fans and neutral people have been liking it more.

fans don't know poo poo.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:05

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

how the gently caress can you piss that number of times and only fill a teacup? is it a fuckin huge tea pot? goon is it this

*urine color extremely accurate

how is it humanly possible to piss 1/5th a teacup's worth five times a night and not just get up and piss once or be unable to hold it?

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:09

Zorodius: Feb 11, 2007; EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

Urine isn't actually sterile

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:29

Cosmic Charlie: Apr 6, 2009; How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

Zorodius posted:

Urine isn't actually sterile

I bet it adds a unique patina though

# ? Aug 14, 2016 02:10

kaschei: Oct 25, 2005

I made a scientifically inaccurate post on the internet

(is it still OK to drink? asking for a friend)

# ? Aug 14, 2016 02:26

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I've used the same tea cup for only tea and nothing else for the last ten years. I wash it regularly. Tea or water drunk from this cup tastes noticeably different than a regular cup, because the years of tea penetrated into the ceramic itself.

Now imagine if it was piss

# ? Aug 14, 2016 02:37

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

why a dude too lazy to walk to the pisser? I'm guessing he is fat

# ? Aug 14, 2016 03:02

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

SniperWoreConverse posted:

I've used the same tea cup for only tea and nothing else for the last ten years. I wash it regularly. Tea or water drunk from this cup tastes noticeably different than a regular cup, because the years of tea penetrated into the ceramic itself.

Now imagine if it was piss

this is just part of the process of becoming a god

# ? Aug 14, 2016 03:04

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; 🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Why are so many of these confessions about urine

# ? Aug 14, 2016 04:43

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Bargearse posted:

Why are so many of these confessions about urine

Read the thread title

# ? Aug 14, 2016 04:55

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

My boyfriend of three years is probably going start a managerial position, sometime around New Year's. This is most likely going to be located out of state, with high odds on being on the other side of the country. He wants me to relocate and move in with him, with the thought of getting married somewhere down the line if it works out.

He'd be in a position to support us both and I'd keep working, but I'm still pretty scared of the whole thing. I'm 23, lived in my birth city my whole life, and even commuted to class from my parent's place. I'm living on my own now so there wouldn't be TOO big a shock, but y'know. I'd be going off my parents' insurance plan and have to get a new scrip for my I Am A Sad Idiot pills.

Nothing's set in stone at this point. I told him I'm not making a decision until I at least see a potential new home in person. Hopefully we end up in the pacific northwest. I always liked the rain.

quote:

There's a 0% chance of this being real, but god in heaven just let me have this one thing:

Hi Kane! Team Hell No is what got me into wrestling!

# ? Aug 14, 2016 06:39

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

quote:

The longer I work for CPS the more I think we should actively encourage people to have abortions. gently caress that "it's a hard choice" bullshit, just be honest and tell folks that having a baby can absolutely loving ruin their lives and hey abortion is only 30 minutes and will let you keep shooting up as much heroin as you want.

After seeing so many abused kids, I'm kind of numb to the whole thing but I still occasionally have nightmares where I'm surrounded by the bodies of abused kids who accuse me of murdering them through inaction. Worst thing I've ever seen was the cold body and autopsy photos of a child who was beaten to death and that poo poo sticks with you. Listening to 6 year olds talk about how their daddy raped them is also up there but seeing all the bruising and marks on a toddler who couldn't fight back absolutely haunts me because I know it could have been prevented if we'd be notified by doctors or if the hospital the child had been at earlier in the day had called the police.

I truly like what I do but we get paid so little and we get treated so terribly (sometimes legitimately) that it's getting harder to do it. As soon as I get my time in I'll probably look for a new job with a private agency; the pay isn't that much better but it's less stress and you're not getting screamed at by meth addicts who hoard and beat their kids.

PS: drug addicted babies turn out okay for the most part but FAE/FAES fucks your children up for life so if you are a hard core alkie, get a loving abortion if you get pregnant.

quote:

In my late teens and early 20's I masturbated at least 30 times a day, every day, without lube. The skin on my penis ended up becoming raw and red and inflamed, and frequently bled. The doctor told me very clearly that I had to stop masturbating so much. I did not stop masturbating, and I was too embarrassed to go back when I encountered more problems.

Even when my penis was red and scaly and there was blood in my ejaculate, I could not stop masturbating. Eventually, my penis became terribly infected. I tried to treat it myself at home, because I was so embarrassed, but it didn't work. By the time I finally went to the hospital, most of my penis had to be amputated, and what remains is completely useless sexually.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 06:40