BeOSPOS posted:

probably yes. I know a few older couples that actively decided to not have kids and they seem quite content and travel a lot

china bot posted:

All of my adopted relatives deeply regret being adopted, and spend every day wishing their adoptive parents had been fertile instead

A Strange Aeon posted:

Better how? Those are questions almost impossible to answer. Seeing a human life you created and shaped make decisions and develop a personality seems like a great gift that will sustain you hopefully for the rest of your life.

LethalGeek posted:

sounds more like your family is all hosed up

quote:

I've got an overwhelming foot fetish that basically controls my life.

My girlfriend constantly says I'm amazing at foreplay and that I can get her off multiple times before we even get to penetrative sex. The reason for this is that I can look at her feet while I'm fingering her, or rub her feet while I'm giving oral. When we get to penetrative sex I have to think about her feet to cum. Thankfully, she has amazing footgame and I don't mind staring at those tootsies.

I was doing well at my job until I got called into HR. I had a bad habit of sniffing any women's shoes that were left around the office (lots of women would come in wearing sneakers, then flip to heels, and I'd sniff the heels and the sneakers while they left their desks) and got caught on camera. It was apparently a sexual harassment issue so I was instantly canned.

I'm job hunting now and to keep the lights on, I started working at Footlocker. If this job paid a little better, it would be absolute heaven for me. Cute girls come in, take off their shoes, and ask me to put shoes on them. Holy loving yum.

quote:

I have really bad body image issues but it's been helping me in life so far.

I was a slightly chubby kid and that, coupled with my nerdy interests, made me into pure girl-repellant. I didn't kiss a girl til I was 16, and didn't have an actual date until I was 24. I still haven't had a real relationship, but I'm trying (I'm 35 now).

I go to the gym every single day, sometimes 2-3 times. I am on a strict diet and haven't had a cheat day since I began this regime 10 years ago. I'm not exaggerating to say I'm in ridiculously good shape, probably in the top 2% of people in the entire world. If I had any athletic talent and was a bit younger I'd try to make a run for the Olympics or something.

But I'm still lonely and just jack off every night to help me fall asleep. But at least I look really good - too bad I never know what to say to a girl to ask her out...

BeOSPOS posted:

probably yes. I know a few older couples that actively decided to not have kids and they seem quite content and travel a lot

loquacius posted:

I've got an overwhelming foot fetish that basically controls my life.

My girlfriend constantly says I'm amazing at foreplay and that I can get her off multiple times before we even get to penetrative sex. The reason for this is that I can look at her feet while I'm fingering her, or rub her feet while I'm giving oral. When we get to penetrative sex I have to think about her feet to cum. Thankfully, she has amazing footgame and I don't mind staring at those tootsies.

I was doing well at my job until I got called into HR. I had a bad habit of sniffing any women's shoes that were left around the office (lots of women would come in wearing sneakers, then flip to heels, and I'd sniff the heels and the sneakers while they left their desks) and got caught on camera. It was apparently a sexual harassment issue so I was instantly canned.

I'm job hunting now and to keep the lights on, I started working at Footlocker. If this job paid a little better, it would be absolute heaven for me. Cute girls come in, take off their shoes, and ask me to put shoes on them. Holy loving yum.

quote:

There's a real bitch of a woman at the office building I clean at night.

One time I cleaned her desk and accidentally put a picture frame in the wrong spot. She left me a note basically calling me a moron and saying that I was paid too much to do a bad job. This annoyed me but I just let it go.

Then one day due to a family emergency, I had to start cleaning around 4 pm (I usually start around 7, once the office is clear). I started with the empty offices so I wouldn't interfere with anybody's day, but that wasn't enough for this woman. She came up to me and (speaking really slowly, like English wasn't my first language) told me that I needed to wait until everyone left the office. I explained what happened and that I had cleared it with management - she acted exasperated then told me to "take a siesta" while everyone finished up. I am not Latino - I'm just a really tanned white guy.

Starting that night (and every night since) I cover some item of hers with piss, poo poo, or snot. Always very subtly, but she hasn't said anything yet. She leaves a gym bag there every few nights, and I've pissed on every item in there. This was almost a year ago that I started.

One time I felt bad and told myself I'd stop. But she left another note the next day that said "DEAR CLEANING MAN - PLEASE BE SURE TO CLEAN EVERYTHING. I LEFT A PENNY UNDER MY DESK TO CHECK AND IT WAS STILL THERE - YOU DIDN'T CLEAN UNDER MY DESK AT ALL! YOU ARE MAKING GOOD MONEY FOR NOT HAVING AN EDUCATION - DON'T THROW THIS JOB AWAY!"

Needless to say I haven't stopped since then.

quote:

When I started my current management job, there was a flaming homosexual guy in my workgroup. I was warned that he would make a lot of inappropriate jokes, but they were brushed off since he was A) hitting on men and not women and B) was an extremely good worker and always made his numbers.

After a few weeks we had our first one-on-one meeting to discuss his performance. He was, as I had been told, extremely good and I had no issues to discuss. He made a joke that he deserved the "Golden Kneepad" award, then offered to blow me if it'd get him a raise. He was joking, but I have mild aspergers and didn't pick up on it at all. I'm also a virgin (haha typical goon) and have to admit, I was intrigued what a bj felt like.

I let him blow me, and we've been swapping BJs ever since, usually about once a week.

I don't imagine stopping any time soon.

Beet Wagon posted:

Racist Professor goon you should basically have been fired immediately. It's not "I forgot I was around liberals it's so unfair" it's more "I was openly racist when discussing students who I am in a position of authority over, now nobody trusts me to be fair to them!"

good luck with that lawsuit though.

Putty posted:

Tanned but white man that stuffy bitch lady wants to sex you probably maybe

H.H posted:

I'm 99% sure I'm the most "real world" famous goon.

I've been in a a few major movies (not the headliner, but I've made the poster a few times), and am generally considered an actor people like to watch. I'm guessing Character Actor is the best term for me, I show up in a lot of those articles that are like "Here's 10 actors who always play the same type!".

I still love posting on SA because it's impossible to discuss pro wrestling in Hollywood without being laughed at.

quote:

This weekend I broke up an impending fight between my 60yo alcoholic violent uncle and my ptsd veteran brother (25y) by firing a rifle in the air and then pointing it at my uncle and tell him he had seconds to live if he didn't leave immediately. He left, and I'm convinced I kept them both at least out of jail if not alive but the whole freaking family says I was the rear end in a top hat.

quote:

I used to have a lot of issues with feminism which I have mostly sorted through now, but it still drives me nuts when people act like being a white woman in 2016 blue-state America is in any way comparable to being a minority in 2016 blue-state America. White women are not excluded from society or culture and from any objective standpoint are very much part of the in-group, and it really bugs me when rich white women who went to fancy colleges and pay for their nice apartments with their high-paying jobs try to act like they're societal pariahs because of subtext in the media.

"Sure, black men are frequently arrested and/or killed by police on flimsy or nonexistent grounds with no consequences for the cops, but I was shown a number of movies as a child that had very troubling subtext regarding how much of a priority getting married should be and I think that's pretty comparable."

See also: conflating feminist issues with racial issues. Acting like white women and minorities are natural allies against their archenemies white men, or like white women can't be racist because they too know what oppression is, or like white men are intrinsically more sexist than other men, etc etc etc.

This is an anonymous confession mostly because I'm not really interested in getting in a big argument about it, which would inevitably happen if I posted about it normally. Basically I just want to shout into a void.

quote:

I grew up terrified of there being a monster in my closet. Slept with my parents as much as possible, barricaded the closet door, the whole 9 yards. This fear stuck with me all through childhood and even in to my early teens, I refused to sleep in my bedroom unless I had at least locked the closet door.

I eventually grew up, went to college, got a job, and got married. My wife and I started house hunting and my parents (who are in their 70s now) mentioned that they would sell their house to us. It's a perfect place to raise a family so we did it. We've been slowly moving out stuff in and moving their stuff out.

I called off work a day last week to do some stuff around the house by myself. I was in my old bedroom cleaning up and eventually dozed off on the bed. When I woke up, the closet door was open just a crack. I was sure that thing was closed when I fell asleep.

I freaked out pretty badly and ran out of the house. I no longer want to buy the house (all the repressed memories are flooding back) but can't tell my wife or my parents why. I'm considering burning it down and making it look like an electrical issue, since I'm scared that whatever lives in that closet might get out otherwise.

H.H posted:

About aunts and uncles: I don't plan on having children and currently have two nephews that are under four years old.

It is honestly the best. All the positive aspects (i.e. seeing them grow and forming a bond with them) without having to care for them 24/7.

H.H posted:

H.H posted:

quote:
I used to have a lot of issues with feminism which I have mostly sorted through now, but it still drives me nuts when people act like being a white woman in 2016 blue-state America is in any way comparable to being a minority in 2016 blue-state America. White women are not excluded from society or culture and from any objective standpoint are very much part of the in-group, and it really bugs me when rich white women who went to fancy colleges and pay for their nice apartments with their high-paying jobs try to act like they're societal pariahs because of subtext in the media.

"Sure, black men are frequently arrested and/or killed by police on flimsy or nonexistent grounds with no consequences for the cops, but I was shown a number of movies as a child that had very troubling subtext regarding how much of a priority getting married should be and I think that's pretty comparable."

See also: conflating feminist issues with racial issues. Acting like white women and minorities are natural allies against their archenemies white men, or like white women can't be racist because they too know what oppression is, or like white men are intrinsically more sexist than other men, etc etc etc.

This is an anonymous confession mostly because I'm not really interested in getting in a big argument about it, which would inevitably happen if I posted about it normally. Basically I just want to shout into a void.

quote:

In sixth grade, there was this girl in my class who you might call an early bloomer. Her name was Jessie, and she had pale skin, little freckles on her nose, and the most gorgeous feathery blonde hair you ever saw.

Like any smart girl, she had no interest in me. I don't think she knew my name. But she sat in the second-to-last row in homeroom, and I was in the seat right behind her. She used to push her hair up and lean back, like sweep her fingers through it and let it cascade down. She didn't think about how it would brush across my desk, or onto my binder. It drove me crazy. It smelled like jasmine, and it tickled my fingers when she moved.

So I started bringing scissors. And one time, when I thought no one was looking, I snipped off a lock of her hair.

I got away with it. At the end of the period, I put the lock into a snack bag, and took it home with me.

I probably don't need to explain, but as a sexually maturing young man, I found a lot of uses for that hair. It was the softest thing I've ever touched. Like a sable brush, but fuller, and more satiny.

That was about twenty years ago. Well, I still have the hair. It's not the same, it doesn't smell like her anymore, but I can still see her perfectly when I touch it to my skin.

I'm not a big dater, but I've been talking to a lady online for a while, and last week we went on a coffee date. She was fine, a little overweight but with a pretty face, and actually quite nice in person. But I couldn't get past her hair. Dark black, smelled like hairspray, very obviously dyed. She seemed to like me, and I wanted to give her a chance, but I kept looking at that hair, and all I could think about was my Jessie.

quote:

I saw another guerrilla marketer sent a confession. Hi, I am one too! There are quite a few of us around here and not just in games. It's not hard to spot us if you have a little insight into the job and it's sort of a hobby of mine to try and spot the others based on their posts.

It's very meta and in moments of self reflection I can feel conflicted about this. When you think about it too much it just seems more and more weird and maybe there are feelings of guilt for gaslighting goons into liking lovely products but on the other hand shillposting is a real sweet gig and it's going to happen anyway.

FYI, the marketing company I am under the umbrella of counts SA as a minor trendsetter site and I bet others do too, which is why we are all here.

Reddit is the big one though and it's a race to get control of key subreddits before someone else does. We have people who try to snipe high value subreddits because if we get one for an existing client's product that means they can never drop us for that product and if we get one for a non-client they now probably have to hire us. The worst is when an actual fan of something gets the subreddit first because they could be making a bunch of money off that and are not. Those situations are salvageable for us if we can get some mod accounts on there.

When you read forums and comment sections there are tons of people in there trying to sell you stuff. They don't even bring up the product they are shilling for some of the time, they are just trying to get you around to the "right" way of thinking which is supposed to drive you to the product. There is plenty of research which suggests this works.

Corporate mind control is real and I am part of it. It's just not very exciting.

H.H posted:

Schlub Husband posted:

This was a few pages back but I'd be willing to bet this is Brandon Hardesty
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2799927/

I can't remember his username but I know he's a goon and a self-described character actor, so everything fits. I remember a thread he made about being in the American Pie movie, and he promoted his youtube series about character actors on here too.

H.H posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

"My closet door was open a crack when I woke up. Do I burn down my house?"