H.H posted:

I'm not going to do that for obvious reasons. If you so desperately want the attention, you're welcome to do it yourself.
This thread is under enough admin scrutiny as it is.

Jastiger posted:

No I was just curious because i sent one in and you posted it a while ago. I was really interested in what you THOUGHT was my submission.

Bitter Mushroom posted:

its not all about you. Even the smallest blade of grass holds an equal significance with you and everything else in the universe. Namaste

quote:

E.T freaks me out and has ever since I was little. I used to hide behind the couch and cover my eyes and ears when my folks would watch the movie. At the the time we lived outside of a really rural town so anytime I thought I saw weird lights in the woods I would think it was E.T.

For whatever reason, when I was around 7 I was also completely convinced that E.T wanted to murder me and that it lived under my bed. I would put candy wrappers under there because if I didn't, he'd pop out and murder me in my sleep. When my mom made me clean out all the crap from under my bed I begged her to let me leave it alone because I'd be killed but she laughed at me and made me do it anyway. That night when I woke up to go pee, something grabbed at my ankles from under the bed and I freaked out. I screamed, cried, and wet myself because I was sure I was about to get my throat slashed and skinned by everyone's favorite alien.

Turns out it was my little brother playing a prank on me. I have yet to live it down and it's been 23 years and I still refuse to watch E.T,even though it's one of my 6 year old sister's favorite movies. I'll take my 100th viewing of Frozen anyday.

quote:

I'm stalking my ex-girlfriend. We broke up 2 years ago and I'm slowly integrating myself back into her life, hopefully leading to rekindling our relationship.

It started innocently enough - we both go to the same gym. I bumped into her one day, we started talking. Very casual conversation, just some catching up.

But I made sure to note the time. I've made it a habit to go to the gym at that same time every few days, hoping to run into her. More often than not, I do.

We started talking more about how our lives have gone since breaking up. She shared with me that she was single, had been since we broke up, and that she had a new apartment.

One day I waited in the parking lot of the gym until she left. I followed behind her (leaving a few car lengths) to find her apartment. I very carefully watched to see what room she lived in - it was easy, I just watched the window that a light came on in, then went into the building and counted over to find it. Apartment 2F, which is basically fate because my apartment is 3L.

I work for a cable installation company, and oh boy, is it easy to get into an apartment when nobody is there. One day I'll let her know I still love her, but for now, just loving her from afar and talking with her at the gym is fine.

Totally TWISTED posted:

Much better to keep stalking her and then get caught in her apartment one day when she comes home early and then she freaks out and slaps you and then you just love her so much that you push her away and she trips on the rug and cracks her skull on the countertop and now shes dead and you frantically get bleach and paper towels and try to wipe away anywhere your fingerprints may be and then you run and after years of grief over the incident where you somehow were never caught you hang yourself with coax cable as is only fitting

loquacius posted:

I'm stalking my ex-girlfriend. We broke up 2 years ago and I'm slowly integrating myself back into her life, hopefully leading to rekindling our relationship.

It started innocently enough - we both go to the same gym. I bumped into her one day, we started talking. Very casual conversation, just some catching up.

But I made sure to note the time. I've made it a habit to go to the gym at that same time every few days, hoping to run into her. More often than not, I do.

We started talking more about how our lives have gone since breaking up. She shared with me that she was single, had been since we broke up, and that she had a new apartment.

One day I waited in the parking lot of the gym until she left. I followed behind her (leaving a few car lengths) to find her apartment. I very carefully watched to see what room she lived in - it was easy, I just watched the window that a light came on in, then went into the building and counted over to find it. Apartment 2F, which is basically fate because my apartment is 3L.

I work for a cable installation company, and oh boy, is it easy to get into an apartment when nobody is there. One day I'll let her know I still love her, but for now, just loving her from afar and talking with her at the gym is fine.

loquacius posted:

One day I waited in the parking lot of the gym until she left. I followed behind her (leaving a few car lengths) to find her apartment. I very carefully watched to see what room she lived in - it was easy, I just watched the window that a light came on in, then went into the building and counted over to find it. Apartment 2F, which is basically fate because my apartment is 3L.

I work for a cable installation company, and oh boy, is it easy to get into an apartment when nobody is there. One day I'll let her know I still love her, but for now, just loving her from afar and talking with her at the gym is fine.

loquacius posted:

quote:

ET

loquacius posted:

amazing footgame

bradzilla posted:

Can't wait to read about your inevitable conviction for stalking and murder!

wyntyr posted:

E.T. terrified me as a kid. First nightmare I can remember having is one where I was turning into E.T. and my mom couldn't find the medicine to stop the transformation fast enough. that was some serious body horror poo poo for me to be dreaming about at like, six years old or whatever.

loquacius posted:

see also: that scene from Pinocchio where the kid turns into a donkey

quote:

As a little kid, I used to kill a lot of bugs and small vermin. Started with pouring bleach down ant hills, then lighting beehives on fire, smashing chipmunks with hammers, stuff like that.

At one point I found a stray cat. It was really sick and weak and could barely move. I took some bungee cords and strapped it to a wooden pallet. It scratched the hell out of me but I didn't care.

I soaked the cat, and the pallet, with kerosene. Then I floated that out on a little stream and lit it on fire. Viking funeral for this cat.

When I think back to that I feel sick to my stomach.

quote:

My uncle got drunk at my grandma's funeral and almost knocked over the casket. Since then he's been the black sheep of the family. He never married and has no kids of his own, so he's an outcast really.

One night he knocked on the door of my house. He was obviously drunk, had been crying, and I heard him start apologizing before I even opened the door.

When I realized he wouldn't leave I went up to the 2nd floor and dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. I hope that piece of poo poo sobered up from that. Even better, I hope he died that night.

loquacius posted:

I'm stalking my ex-girlfriend. We broke up 2 years ago and I'm slowly integrating myself back into her life, hopefully leading to rekindling our relationship.

It started innocently enough - we both go to the same gym. I bumped into her one day, we started talking. Very casual conversation, just some catching up.

But I made sure to note the time. I've made it a habit to go to the gym at that same time every few days, hoping to run into her. More often than not, I do.

We started talking more about how our lives have gone since breaking up. She shared with me that she was single, had been since we broke up, and that she had a new apartment.

One day I waited in the parking lot of the gym until she left. I followed behind her (leaving a few car lengths) to find her apartment. I very carefully watched to see what room she lived in - it was easy, I just watched the window that a light came on in, then went into the building and counted over to find it. Apartment 2F, which is basically fate because my apartment is 3L.

I work for a cable installation company, and oh boy, is it easy to get into an apartment when nobody is there. One day I'll let her know I still love her, but for now, just loving her from afar and talking with her at the gym is fine.

loquacius posted:

Guuuuyyys stop pasting confessions inside quote blocks tagged to me so it looks like I'm un-anonymously confessing to a felony

chitoryu12 posted:

Does that mean you've anonymously confessed to a felony?

loquacius posted:

Orkin Mang posted:

im barack obama

Zorodius posted:

you owe us all an apology then

Poldarn posted:

Solice Kirsk posted:

I just found out they're remaking It.

loquacius posted:

And RUINING it

The movie remake thread is discussing it already