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Putty posted:2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar It's like when anthropologists make first contact with some unknown tribe in the remote parts of the Amazon
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# ? Aug 31, 2016 22:36 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 15:07 |
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Putty posted:2006 guy if you post your first post in this thread within 24 hours i will give you an avatar Best part is you can just check his post history to make sure it's legit! I would like to see that. What a sight that would be, eh goons? a 2006 with one post in his entire history? Gosh!
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# ? Aug 31, 2016 23:38 |
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timp posted:Best part is you can just check his post history to make sure it's legit! I would like to see that. What a sight that would be, eh goons? a 2006 with one post in his entire history? Gosh! Lol this goon is all excited like its Haley's comet or a perfect alignment of the planets or that one train that comes the wrong way in the UK.
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# ? Aug 31, 2016 23:57 |
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you guys are weird
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 00:08 |
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COOL CORN posted:oh please I'm older than I look! 2001/2. Couldn't remember the email password when I got banned in 2003 or so.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 03:18 |
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You too can have Extra Virgin Goon Oil!
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 03:22 |
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H.H posted:I found out when she started feeding me breastmilk Like maybe you find out accidentally by sucking on her titty and milk comes out? Or is it a thing that women want now, do they like say "it's time for your milk lil' pissbitch" or something?
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 05:49 |
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Frog Assassin posted:Don't be afraid non-posting goon, at the end of the day it's just an internet forum. I have a hankering for some pork products.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 05:50 |
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quote:I work at JC Penney's in the woman's shoe department. I pretend to be gay so women aren't worried about a creepy guy touching their feet. quote:I'm a huge bitch baby that has zero self-confidence. Basically when anybody online trashes something I like I start to get really insecure about liking it. Instead of being able to dismiss the opinions of faceless people their hurtful words seem to carry enormous weight to my decisions, and of course the way people act on the Internet doesn't translate well to real life, so it makes me into this really dysfunctional weirdo that seems to put more stock in the opinions of trolls on messageboards rather than real life people.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 06:46 |
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H.H posted:I'm a huge bitch baby that has zero self-confidence. If it weren't for the "breaking up with" part, implying they've had multiple relationships, I'd swear that's Mr Tastee of bad e/n threads fame.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 06:53 |
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caring what people on the internet say about poo poo is for losers
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 06:54 |
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Satanist goon from a few pages ago: Rat out your fellow Satanist murder/suiciders. I'm sure Satan will appreciate your treachery. Also you'll be able to get less time in prison as an accessory to murder. e: PS, murder is wrong.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:01 |
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Murphy Brownback posted:If it weren't for the "breaking up with" part, implying they've had multiple relationships, I'd swear that's Mr Tastee of bad e/n threads fame. Mr Tastee is actually Drew, the creator of the webcomic Toothpaste For Dinner. He wrote this book, which is amazing and I encourage everyone to read it.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:08 |
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H.H posted:Mr Tastee is actually Drew, the creator of the webcomic Toothpaste For Dinner. actually, it sucks and is bad hahaha, try to enjoy it now, losers!
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:32 |
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how me a frog posted:Quote your sources. I read all of them. Not one of them was entertaining. You should read this thread, http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3785918 which came from a confession earlier about making fantasy rubber dongs. The thread spawned this, truly amazing post about elf dongs elise the great posted:First things first: we actually do know what elves called their dicks, because even the glorious JRRT couldn't keep his hands out of his pants. The poetic term (yes, elves seem to have engaged in erotic poetry) would be gwî, but for everyday usage gwib was the preferred term. Puntl is provided as the coarse, moderately transgressive term, and likely what you would be invited to suck if you went down on a male elf. Alas, due to the ban on the Noldorin language, we have no surviving slang for Fëanor's johnson. And then the dongmaster goes and makes one. Goons order by the dozen. Therefore, this thread is not bad.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:38 |
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Buttcoin purse posted:Like maybe you find out accidentally by sucking on her titty and milk comes out? Or is it a thing that women want now, do they like say "it's time for your milk lil' pissbitch" or something? I boned a mom once and she was super excited for me to try her breastmilk. I wasn't that fussed but it she was into it so
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:51 |
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Forward Toward posted:elf dongs Holy poo poo that escalated real fast.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 07:57 |
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Forward Toward posted:And then the dongmaster goes and makes one. Goons order by the dozen. But did he make one dong to rule them?
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 08:41 |
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Confession: I am a privileged straight white male
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 12:06 |
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quote:I want to kill my sisters dog. quote:Daughter of Pissbitch here again. I decidedt o take the halfway decent advice from this thread and tried talking to my fiance about my recent fantasies. I decided to leave the piss part out though, and just told him that part of the reason i had been so withdrawn lately is because I had suddenly found myself being attracterd to another woman. He did not take this well, I think that I offended his masculintiy or something like that. He stormed out of the apartment and hasn't come back yet, it's been a few hours.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 14:50 |
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quote:He did not take this well, I think that I offended his masculintiy or something like that. No, you condescending idiot, he failed to take it well because his fiancee told him she's attracted to another person and does not want to have sex with him. If you'd phrased it the way you did in your original confession, he would have understood what is really going on: that you have come down with severe mental illness and grown obsessed with an incredibly weird figment of your imagination to a point where it's harming your life. It would then be up to him to choose whether to live with that and support you as you go into treatment, or call off the wedding and leave you to it. Or try to accomodate your newfound fetish, what do I know. You are sick. Stop pissing around, and GET HELP.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 14:58 |
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pissbitch.. What the gently caress. You I suppose could have handled that worse, like maybe lighting his most prized possessions on fire or insulting the size of his dick. But nope, during a rut you find yourself telling him you are attracted to another woman. How exactly did you expect him to take that?
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:01 |
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H.H posted:pissbitch yeah uh were you not paying attention when we repeatedly told that other guy how stupid of an idea it'd be to tell his wife "so I'm really into this girl at work" because clearly it was a bad idea for you too Like, I know it's already done now and everything, I'm just saying, don't blame us. I told you to tell him that you wanted to try kinky poo poo, not that you have a crush on your female boss. I guess you effectively answered my question with your actions, though -- it seems that you really are not into him because he's a dude. In which case this is for the best. Give back the ring, try out some lesbian porn, explore your sexuality, move on with your life.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:03 |
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H.H posted:pissbitch oh woe is me i feel attracted to other people how am i going to explain this to dennis. i would rather gently caress a disgusting goat than my wife. its called marriage idiots
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:04 |
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Oh and other goon do not kill your sister's dog. Talk to her about giving it away. You make excellent points regarding how owning a dog is not a great move for you right now; emphasize these. Do not kill the dog. I feel weird having to remind someone of this, but there are other ways to not have a dog than killing your dog.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:06 |
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My confession is that "cucky pizzone" is starting to grow on me
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:08 |
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he should have at least tried for a threesome before breaking off his marriage. shameful stuff
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:20 |
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"This thread told me to talk to my fiance, so I told him I'm attracted to someone else, and now he's all mad at me. What the gently caress, guys!!! " like, the equivalent is if you told us you wanted to get into the airport, so we told you to go talk to the TSA people, and the thing you decided to say to them when you got there was "I have a bomb and will destroy this entire building unless my demands are met"
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:25 |
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H.H posted:dog problems I understand where you're coming from. Last year there was a ton of drama in my family regarding a cat and I briefly considered drastic measures to try to solve things (though I wasn't going to try to kill the cat, that's insane) I have two adult sisters with their own families. Sister A and her family (husband and teenage daughter) moved into my mom's basement while they sold their old place and saved for a new one. Mom's basement is really more of a free standing condo with it's own kitchen and door to the outside and stuff, and my mom enjoyed the company so it was a fine arrangement for everyone. But when they moved in they brought their inside/outside cat. Sister B is allergic to cats and can't even stand to be around places they've been recently, which meant that anytime Sister B came over for holidays and such, the basement was totally off limits, and sometimes she'd even complain about being short of breath upstairs where the cat wasn't even allowed to go. Sister B was upset that Sister A, who doesn't even like cats that much, would allow her family to bring a cat over to live in the place we all celebrate holidays, effectively cordoning off half of the house in Sister B's eyes (the half with the game room, the half where we usually gather to watch football, etc). At its worst, Sister B was threatening to never come over to Mom's for holidays again which would have been a disaster, and while Sister A's family said they would never let the cat inside again, they continued to do so and even got caught a few times lying about it. Being caught in the middle of all of this, I was looking for a way to make it stop so we could have holidays together in the same house without fighting like a normal family. The plan I was half-heartedly throwing around in my head on long drives was a catnapping of sorts in which I would come over to mom's house in the night and take the cat with me. My half-baked plan was to release it in my neighborhood and feed it regularly, essentially making it an outside cat at my house. This cat was initially a stray that Sister A's family took in, gave shots, and named, so it's not like it would be woefully unprepared in a new wooded area, much less a suburban neighborhood. Fortunately Sister A found a house and moved out shortly after so the crisis sort of solved itself, but... I can definitely relate to the frustration of one animal affecting the lives of people who otherwise have no responsibility to said animal.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:32 |
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Guys I'm an elf with an unwanted boner.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:37 |
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H.H posted:Daughter of Pissbitch here again. I decidedt o take the halfway decent advice from this thread and tried talking to my fiance about my recent fantasies. I decided to leave the piss part out though, and just told him that part of the reason i had been so withdrawn lately is because I had suddenly found myself being attracterd to another woman. He did not take this well, I think that I offended his masculintiy or something like that. He stormed out of the apartment and hasn't come back yet, it's been a few hours. you are loving dumb as poo poo
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:38 |
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Dog Murderer posted:Just get rid of the dog. Why should you and by proxy your sister be stalled and stuck in a lovely situation because of a genetically anomalous creature. Few things piss me off more in advice requests than ones that involve animals. Animals should be our friends and they should fulfill something in our lives, like all of our human friends do. If they don't, get rid of them. You don't owe them poo poo and usually they just piss everyone else off. Now if things are bad enough that one single dog is ruining everything, then obviously there are deeper problems here. But for your mental health, I say, ditch the dog.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 15:56 |
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I've got a cousin with this great big gently caress off dog that she insists can't be outside or left alone or crated so here that big dumb gently caress dog is at every family function, jumping up on people, chewing up the kids toys, terrorizing the toddlers, snatching food off the counter, spilling drinks, knocking people over trying to escape the house every time someone enters or leaves... I'm not going to kill the dog but I wouldn't mind if it got hit by a feed truck.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:12 |
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None of that is the dog's fault. If your cousin refuses to train an animal, that animal will end up basically feral. No bad dogs only bad owners etc etc etc
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:14 |
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loquacius posted:None of that is the dog's fault. If your cousin refuses to train an animal, that animal will end up basically feral. No bad dogs only bad owners etc etc etc This. I hate that lovely people are allowed to own dogs. Poor dog
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:15 |
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Quote-Unquote posted:This. Poor dog, hell. That stupid thing is happier than a pig in poo poo.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:21 |
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Kill the dog, then cook it into the most delicious, elaborate meal you have ever cooked. When sis gets home and asks where the dog is, tell her it's at the vet or something. Then tell her what a wonderful sister she is, that you love her, and that you think she's earned a treat before presenting the dinner table. After the meal, start off gently. "Sis, I haven't been completely honest. You know all the trouble we've had finding a new place to live..." Then tell her everything. If you do this, she'll understand that you care about her deeply, and have her best interests at heart. She can't possibly stay mad for long. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Sep 1, 2016 |
# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:22 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glKiOJcwffk
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:27 |
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I wanna kill my dog all the time, but almost always when he keeps up at night because it's raining. Then I wake up feeling like poo poo and he's sitting there looking like poo poo and the floor is wet where he was pacing because he was panting and drooling and just looks loving pathetic and I give him a great big hug and tell him I'm sorry I tried to kill him with mind bullets and give him a few extra treats and tell him he's a good boy every chance I get that day. But I would never seriously consider killing him because he's a living being whole dependent on me due to millennia of domestication.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:43 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 15:07 |
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Cthulu Carl posted:I wanna kill my dog all the time, but almost always when he keeps up at night because it's raining. Then I wake up feeling like poo poo and he's sitting there looking like poo poo and the floor is wet where he was pacing because he was panting and drooling and just looks loving pathetic and I give him a great big hug and tell him I'm sorry I tried to kill him with mind bullets and give him a few extra treats and tell him he's a good boy every chance I get that day. get your dummy dog a thundershirt or just tie up a tshirt all nice and snug on em you weirdo.
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# ? Sep 1, 2016 16:45 |