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DoctorStrangelove posted:I feel like I would really enjoy being a professional dog assassin. there is/was someone killing cats in an area of london. they were up to like 50 when i saw the story edit: just looked and its over 100 now https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/apr/23/croydon-cat-killer-mystery-100-animal-deaths
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 14:30 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:13 |
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Jose posted:there is/was someone killing cats in an area of london. they were up to like 50 when i saw the story Some one needs to explain being a "pussy slayer" to this guy again.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 14:52 |
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quote:So I'm one of those weird porn addicts that has gone so far down the rabbit hole that poo poo doesn't get me off unless it's kinda specific. However, since I came out as bisexual I have not only swallowed a lot of dicks and gotten engaged, but I feel like I'm not... a dude. I don't feel like I'm a woman, but I don't feel like I want to be a man either. To deal with this I've done the logical thing, that is, get engaged to someone who is so emotionally damaged that she won't stick her tongue in my mouth (yeah sex is cool, but no tongue) but she also will get PISSED at me for getting turned on. I told her Sunday that sometimes I feel like I'm a woman and she still hasn't talked to me.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:04 |
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Huh, didn't know a sexual relationship could exist with out French kissing. It's the first drat base!
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:08 |
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So wait, sex is ok as long as you don't get turned on I dunno dude that relationship doesn't sound like a winner Also you should go on Tumblr, you'd get better feedback for your current issue there than here. All I can think when I hear that someone feels that neither gender is "right" for them is that they're thinking too hard about gender and it's not a loving personality test.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:10 |
Gender is very well defined actually
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:12 |
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I've seen so many people on this here Internet that are like "I like wearing pretty clothes and listening to bubbly pop music, but I also like to watch football and drink beer, so therefore my gender is the universe" like, the idea of being a girl who farts loudly or a guy who watches the Bachelor is so inconceivable to them that instead of just saying that, they'd rather tell everyone they're some mysterious previously-undiscovered undefinable freak human
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:18 |
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This is what happens when you try to slap labels on everything. I'm a straight guy that's attracted to women with dark hair and blue eyes. I'm a special snow flake. They don't make many of me.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:28 |
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I am guy and I really enjoy cooking and don't watch soccer or any other sport
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:31 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:This is what happens when you try to slap labels on everything. I'm a straight guy that's attracted to women with dark hair and blue eyes. I'm a special snow flake. They don't make many of me.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:34 |
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Hopper posted:I am guy and I really enjoy cooking and don't watch soccer or any other sport That doesn't sound like a guy to me looks like you're a *flips through Tumblr glossary* demi-boi. Sorry, kid, I don't make the rules. man, I almost called you "bud" instead of "kid," even though "bud" can't apply to demi-bois. How embarrassing would that have been
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:36 |
lmao
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:36 |
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Hopper posted:I am guy Got bad news for you, friend... Seriously though that degree of a fluid identity is a pretty big red flag for borderline personality disorder - it might be worth getting some therapy Anon before you end up in a massive downswing.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:36 |
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Yeah Anon I was focused on being a snarky rear end in a top hat before but you need to (a) not be engaged or romantically attached to anyone until you get your poo poo figured out and (b) spend some time talking to actual mental health professionals. My previous advice to go to Tumblr was not meant seriously and is officially rescinded; they will send you deeper down the rabbit hole.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:42 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:Huh, didn't know a sexual relationship could exist with out French kissing. It's the first drat base! Sounds like being in a relationship with a hooker. I don't care if you rail my rear end, but NO KISSING!
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 15:59 |
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Dirk Squarejaw posted:Sounds like being in a relationship with a hooker. I don't care if you rail my rear end, but NO KISSING! I'm not making that mistake again! It was what I would imagine dating a plumber would be like. Spends all day professionally cleaning pipes, so gets home and doesn't even wanna thing about cleaning another.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 16:28 |
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Pl3ase consider seeking therapy for your addiction, and for figuring out your gender. You sound nonbinary to me, but that's only something you can figure out. Check out the gay goon thread, or maybe even the trans thread, some advice. They're both in E/N.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 18:51 |
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H.H posted:I told her Sunday that sometimes I feel like I'm a woman and she still hasn't talked to me. Yo how does this work? Like as soon as you dropped that bomb she immediately stood up stone faced, walked out the door and drove away? I see people say this all the time and I never know if they mean it literally or if like she ran out screaming about you being a weirdo and wouldn't respond when you tried to tell her that no really we can work this out. Anyway sorry about your hosed up life, I hope things get better for you in a way that doesn't involve loving people in animal suits.
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# ? Sep 6, 2016 23:14 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:This is what happens when you try to slap labels on everything. I'm a straight guy that's attracted to women with dark hair and blue eyes. I'm a special snow flake. They don't make many of me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oWsdW3Rebw
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 06:41 |
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May this person please seek some good counseling and quick. Both them and their SO.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 06:47 |
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You use too much porn friendo. In fact it sounds like your unhealthy relationship is fostered entirely on you and your girl trying to recreate the sex you want to be having but simply cannot because you're all hosed up from mainlining the diseased filth of the internet for so long. My advice is unplug your router and go camping or something to get your dick and brain chemicals back in whack, take your girl, or don't, not like she's been a positive influence.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 06:58 |
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quote:When I was a kid I first started masturbating in the bath while washing my penis, and now I associate the smell of soap with sex. It's almost impossible for me to maintain an erection unless I can smell an unscented bar of soap. quote:As a high school freshman, I got deep into the kind of "red pilled", men going their own way, misogynistic crap you read about online and laugh about.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 07:05 |
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hey first guy bet you don't feel bad as second guy huh?? I mean soapy dilz is probably way better than dildo Popsicle
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 07:10 |
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Well that second one swerved at just the right time.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 07:28 |
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quote:I'm also still a virgin at age 26, probably related. You don't say!
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 08:33 |
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Motherfucker posted:hey first guy bet you don't feel bad as second guy huh?? yeah soap has gotta be like the easiest fetish to have a lot easier than having to break into other people's houses and wear their underwear on your head, anyway
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 09:31 |
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Get help for your no doubt crippling affluenza kiddo or better yet try that stunt again and dont call your parents for help
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 12:20 |
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I'm gonna be that guy and say popsicle dildo confession doesn't pass the smell test for me, it's too timely what with the Brock Turner thing being in the news again plus how could a neighbor catch him in the act, was he doing it outside or what
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 12:44 |
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Many neighbors are very, very nosy and would almost certainly notice a teenager kicking down a door in broad daylight. The only unbelievable part was that the neighbor walked in on him and not a couple cops with their guns pointing at him...but maybe she recognized him or saw that it was just some kid and wasn't scared of hi m. Was 99% sure that was going to end up in (probably made-up) rape though so I thought it had a relatively happy ending.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 12:49 |
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Soap fetishist; If you want to cure yourself, get a raging hard on, start jacking it, and then bite right into a fresh bar of soap. You're erection will die and you'll be cured. There's a reason parents threaten to wash their children's mouths out for swearing. Or you'll never get an erection again. Whatever.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:04 |
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quote:What up bitches, Daughetr of Pissbitch here again. I meant to send this a few days ago but I been busy. My fiance returned the day after I sent my last vconfession (and NO, I didn't tell him "I want to gently caress my boss" it was more like "I've been kind of distant lately because I've found myself attracted to women for the first time in my life and it's kindof throwing me off). We had some great sex that night, he had me whsipering in his ear about my fantasies about women. I left out my bossand the whole piss fetish thing.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:40 |
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Hahahahaha holy loving poo poo. e: Maybe this way you can ease in the piss thing. Go along with the "watching lez porn while getting oral" thing, then one day you can go "Ooooh I wanna watch something freaky right now" while you're halfway into it and put on some lesbian pissing video. If you play your cards right, he will have a boner when you do it so he won't mind or say anything until after you're done. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Sep 7, 2016 |
# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:40 |
Your guy won't mind if you bring another chick into bed
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:46 |
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He might if she pisses on it though
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:47 |
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loquacius posted:I'm gonna be that guy and say popsicle dildo confession doesn't pass the smell test for me, it's too timely what with the Brock Turner thing being in the news again I'd bet a shiny nickel its a fake story, all in the delivery.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:47 |
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Okay soap fetish guy humor me for a minute. I have no sense of smell so maybe I'm ignorant but: wouldn't an unscented bar of soap... have no scent????
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 14:06 |
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brotato posted:Okay soap fetish guy humor me for a minute. I have no sense of smell so maybe I'm ignorant but: wouldn't an unscented bar of soap... have no scent???? Unscented means no smells have been added to the soap. Unscented soap smells like soap. If you want an approximation of what this is like you could try hitting your local dive bar and licking the hand soap in their bathroom.
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 14:08 |
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KomodoWagon posted:Unscented means no smells have been added to the soap. Unscented soap smells like soap. If you want an approximation of what this is like you could try hitting your local dive bar and licking the hand soap in their bathroom. I thought telling people to kill themselves was probatable in this thread. Don't do it, life is worth living, I swear!
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:54 |
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Well DOB, congrats on your engagement not falling apart I guess but I still think it's worth sitting and having a serious think about why you're not into sex with him anymore. You seem pretty happy with him being all horned up over you liking girls (with understandable reservations about it being "the norm" now ofc) so maybe the problem wasn't actually on your end and he was losing interest? At any rate keep spicing it up gradually, you'll get a girl peeing on you someday
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 17:00 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:13 |
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I read through this thread and I want most of it to be fake, not because of the disturbing sex stuff like drider-man, I get that, but like half of these end with "oh btw I'm an adult virgin." It's really sad to think there are actually that many of you out there
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# ? Sep 7, 2016 17:16 |