"Reminder that this is a thing that actually happened" MEGATHREAD

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stuffed crust punk: Oct 8, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

two forty posted:

Did we talk about this guy already? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Malloy

An apparently pretty hardcore alcoholic, a bar owner and co-conspirators took out a life insurance policy on this guy and gave him an unlimited tab, hoping he'd drink himself to death. When that didn't happen, they get him poisoned oysters, made him drinks with methanol, fed him metal objects, rat poison, glycol, all sorts of nasty poo poo, but each time he lived. They hit him with a car, and tried to freeze him to death. He didn't die until the poisoned him with gas, and were eventually caught.

This is one of the best episodes of The Dollop

# ? Sep 20, 2016 07:27

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:26

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:07

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

Friginator posted:

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

omfg I thought for sure this was in like the early 1900's but it happened in loving 2013! That fifty-three year old man was born in 1960 and had to have received a compulsory fairly modern education! Yet he still tried to headbutt the snake spirit out of his mentally ill son for two days straight. What a world lmao

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:09

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Friginator posted:

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

I think he actually did do one about a priestdad trying to exorcise his son.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:14

stuffed crust punk: Oct 8, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Please stop being full goon and posting about loving japan

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:15

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

things don't happen in japan you GOONS

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:16

Jim Barris: Aug 13, 2009

Regular Nintendo posted:

Please stop being full goon and posting about loving japan

gently caress you buddy, japan is cool. I love hearing about their crazy antics. Like the man prostitutes who pretend to be women's boyfriends and the women who frequent them are themselves prostitutes who are using them as surrogates for personal relationships because of their isolating and exploitative career. That's some top quality sad poo poo right there.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:17

Commie Lasorda: May 15, 2009; IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

Footage of guy shortly before demise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAwcj6d8XTQ

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:20

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

Hey, if I had to be killed in a horrible way, I'd definitely pick Junji Ito to plan the whole thing out.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:22

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Friginator posted:

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

thats not a very effective method to exorcise someone if its taking over a day

# ? Sep 20, 2016 08:45

Groke: Jul 27, 2007; New Adventures In Mom Strength

Neurion posted:

You'd think they could try towing that poo poo back out to sea and sinking it there instead.

I remember some years ago there was a dead whale that floated ashore near my childhood home in Norway. So local authorities towed it out to sea. Then it floated back ashore in a slightly different spot. So slightly different local authorities towed it back out to sea again. Repeat several times up and down the local shoreline. I guess eventually it fell apart.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 09:10

Hyperlynx: Sep 13, 2015

Groke posted:

I remember some years ago there was a dead whale that floated ashore near my childhood home in Norway. So local authorities towed it out to sea. Then it floated back ashore in a slightly different spot. So slightly different local authorities towed it back out to sea again. Repeat several times up and down the local shoreline. I guess eventually it fell apart.

If they float due to the gases from decomposition, why don't they poke holes in the carcass before letting it loose in the ocean? Like pricking sausages. Enormous, disgusting sausages.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 09:17

stuffed crust punk: Oct 8, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Jim Barris posted:

gently caress you buddy, japan is cool. I love hearing about their crazy antics. Like the man prostitutes who pretend to be women's boyfriends and the women who frequent them are themselves prostitutes who are using them as surrogates for personal relationships because of their isolating and exploitative career. That's some top quality sad poo poo right there.

Here's a better idea:

gently caress you

# ? Sep 20, 2016 09:40

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Mr. 47 posted:

A girl at the high school where my uncle taught shot herself with a .22. She managed to crawl all over the house for almost an hour, smearing blood and brains everywhere, until she actually succumbed.

I saw a video recently of a guy who'd attempted to rob a convenience store and ended up taking a bullet to the top of his head. Throughout the video he was laying on the floor desperately trying to put bits of brain back into his skull.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 09:48

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Jim Barris posted:

omfg I thought for sure this was in like the early 1900's but it happened in loving 2013! That fifty-three year old man was born in 1960 and had to have received a compulsory fairly modern education! Yet he still tried to headbutt the snake spirit out of his mentally ill son for two days straight. What a world lmao

There's been a bunch of recent incidents of people accidentally get killed during exorcisms in the US and other western countries, plus a bunch more of people straight up murdering family members because they thought they were possessed.

Here's a big long list of exorcism deaths from the last few decades: http://whatstheharm.net/exorcisms.html

# ? Sep 20, 2016 10:18

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

Jose posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Webb

Gary webb wrote a series of articles about the CIA and crack and then committed suicide by shooting himself in the head twice

that actually happens more often than you'd think. one guy shot himself four times in the head before it took.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 10:57

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

Friginator posted:

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

This is what should happen to all animalkin

# ? Sep 20, 2016 12:03

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Rough Lobster posted:

This is what should happen to Dare

FTFY

# ? Sep 20, 2016 12:34

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Code Jockey posted:

Jesus christ

I was walking with a bunch of idiots through our wood shop in high school, and one of them randomly grabs a nailgun, points it out the open garage door of the building and fires a few times. He missed the top of someone's head who was walking across the street by probably less than an inch.

Don't you have to press nailguns down on wood before it shoots a nail? It's not like a machine gun, but more like a giant stapler. With nails.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 12:59

Hail Mr. Satan!: Oct 3, 2009; by zen death robot

beedeebee posted:

Don't you have to press nailguns down on wood before it shoots a nail? It's not like a machine gun, but more like a giant stapler. With nails.

Clearly you never saw Happy Gilmore

# ? Sep 20, 2016 13:00

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Nail guns have a pressure switch at the very front which needs to be pressed in before the gun will fire, such as when it's against a piece of wood.

However, hot glue will hold the switch in the depressed position allowing you to fire it whenever you want.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 13:05

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Gorilla Salad posted:

Nail guns have a pressure switch at the very front which needs to be pressed in before the gun will fire, such as when it's against a piece of wood.

However, hot glue will hold the switch in the depressed position allowing you to fire it whenever you want.

That sounds like the first in a sequence of events that ends up with somebody getting a loving nail stuck in their head.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 13:22

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

A Fancy Bloke posted:

Clearly you never saw Happy Gilmore

Or Lethal Weapon 2

Edit: poo poo, I just checked and he actually does press it against them and fire, I've been wrong about this movie for decades

Snowglobe of Doom has a new favorite as of 13:50 on Sep 20, 2016

# ? Sep 20, 2016 13:47

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

beedeebee posted:

Don't you have to press nailguns down on wood before it shoots a nail? It's not like a machine gun, but more like a giant stapler. With nails.

Some terrible cheap-rear end models don't require you to do that, but even then the nail it flings out isn't exactly a projectile blasting past the speed of sound towards hapless victims. Even if it had hit someone in the head they'd at most be like "ow, gently caress you rear end in a top hat."

# ? Sep 20, 2016 13:49

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Theophany posted:

That sounds like the first in a sequence of events that ends up with somebody getting a loving nail stuck in their head.

The first thing every tradesman does when they buy a new tool is disable the safety features because they "slow them down too much and they know what they're doing and don't need them oh god a nail has lodged in my brain and I've forgotten geography."

# ? Sep 20, 2016 14:38

jenny jones fan: Dec 24, 2007

Reminder that CNN reported ISIS was at the gay pride parade but it was actually a flag with dildos on it lmao

# ? Sep 20, 2016 14:44

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

We have a pneumatic staple gun at work, it shoots 1.5" wide staples and despite the fact that it bends the staples before shooting them, it's still entirely possible to break the skin with it.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 14:57

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Gorilla Salad posted:

The first thing every tradesman does when they buy a new tool is disable the safety features because they "slow them down too much and they know what they're doing and don't need them oh god a nail has lodged in my brain and I've forgotten geography."

The second thing they do is recreate the shootout at the OK Corral
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3m_oT8J5GI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4hoJ4uU3cs

Just don't gently caress up and bring a staple gun to a nail gun fight ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uuz8gqlV6A

# ? Sep 20, 2016 15:08

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

cuck cuck im gay posted:

Reminder that CNN reported ISIS was at the gay pride parade but it was actually a flag with dildos on it lmao

Technically NWS:

Here's the John Oliver segment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI4clvkTf7E

# ? Sep 20, 2016 15:11

TheHoosier: Dec 30, 2004; The fuck, Graham?!

Friginator posted:

You guys need to check this poo poo out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

"Takuya Nagaya, 23, from Japan, started to slither on the floor and claim he had become a snake. His mother took this to mean that he had been possessed by a snake, and called for her husband, 53-year-old Katsumi Nagaya. Katsumi spent the next two days head-butting and biting his son "to drive [out] the snake that had possessed him" but instead causing his death."

Are we sure Junji Ito isn't writing some of these?

That entire link is like the Final Destination cutting room floor. It's insane

# ? Sep 20, 2016 15:37

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

TheHoosier posted:

That entire link is like the Final Destination cutting room floor. It's insane

"2013: Denver Lee St. Clair, 58, was asphyxiated by an "atomic wedgie" administered by his stepson during a fight. After St. Clair had been knocked unconscious the elastic band from his torn underwear was pulled over his head and stretched around his neck, strangling him. Brad Lee Davis, 35, of McLoud, Oklahoma, pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter and was sentenced to 30 years in jail."

What hosed me up was the realization that this was a 35 year old man giving his 58 year old stepfather a wedgie for presumably sexual reasons.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:03

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Why would it be sexual reasons?

# ? Sep 20, 2016 19:38

Guy Goodbody: Aug 31, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

Solice Kirsk posted:

Why would it be sexual reasons?

The wedgie is the most erotic of the classical bullying maneuvers.

# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:05

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

when my step-dad and i played tummyswords we'd always use it as a ninja headband

# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:27

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Why would it be sexual reasons?

https://thefpl.us/episode/172

# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:49

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

Guy Goodbody posted:

The wedgie is the most erotic of the classical bullying maneuvers.

hearing someone else say this relives so much shame I've kept inside

# ? Sep 20, 2016 20:52

my turn in the barrel: Dec 31, 2007

It can be pretty difficult to shoot yourself in the head.

One good example is Daniel von Bargen who's name you may not recognize but he was in a whole bunch of movies.

He had diabetes and was in pretty bad shape and decided to commit suicide. The bullet didn't kill him and he made a perfectly lucid 911 call after the fact. He ended up living 3 more years.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/02/22/super-troopers-daniel-von-bargen-suicide-attempt-shot/

# ? Sep 20, 2016 21:40