Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

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Parasol Prophet: Aug 31, 2012; We Are Best Friends Now.

gschmidl posted:

You just set it on fire with the magnesium lighter.

I just love that they give you an extra packet of magnesium, but only two tylenol.

And if "the difference between life and death happens in a FLASH" I think you're already dead if you're there desperately trying to shake the tube and unscrew the right components to find what you need.

# ? Sep 25, 2016 19:03

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# ? May 14, 2024 03:47

Carrion Luggage: Nov 24, 2006

Peanut President posted:

How about a japanese cooking show hosted by a poodle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QInii1xx8Bc

i love the guy doing the voice over for English

# ? Sep 25, 2016 19:30

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

Parasol Prophet posted:

I just love that they give you an extra packet of magnesium, but only two tylenol.

And if "the difference between life and death happens in a FLASH" I think you're already dead if you're there desperately trying to shake the tube and unscrew the right components to find what you need.

Not just an extra packet of magnesium, but an entire other lighter, too.

e: I would also like to add

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wazoosurvivalgear/the-ultimate-everyday-and-travel-accessory-cache-b

e2: dammit, image not moving, but that way it's more of a surprise how dumb it is!

gschmidl has a new favorite as of 20:03 on Sep 25, 2016

# ? Sep 25, 2016 19:44

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

when will people learn that combining poo poo doesnt make it less lovely, it leaves you with more poo poo

# ? Sep 25, 2016 22:51

Carecat: Apr 27, 2004; Buglord

mobby_6kl posted:

An IGG hovering Delorean tuns out to be a huge piece of poo poo, what a surprise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOoruKxi7s0

Oh I don't know, looks like it's a pretty good model but pricey. By Indie Go Go standards the fact it's main selling point doesn't work is only a minor drawback!

Edit: And it turns out it does work.

Carecat has a new favorite as of 23:37 on Sep 25, 2016

# ? Sep 25, 2016 23:20

tuyop: Sep 15, 2006; Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted; Fun Shoe

gschmidl posted:

Not just an extra packet of magnesium, but an entire other lighter, too.

e: I would also like to add

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wazoosurvivalgear/the-ultimate-everyday-and-travel-accessory-cache-b

e2: dammit, image not moving, but that way it's more of a surprise how dumb it is!

God, what an insufferable video!

# ? Sep 25, 2016 23:28

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Carecat posted:

Oh I don't know, looks like it's a pretty good model but pricey. By Indie Go Go standards the fact it's main selling point doesn't work is only a minor drawback!

I�m not paying $250 for one, but I do wonder if it�s that hard once you get a feel for it.

# ? Sep 25, 2016 23:29

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Fauxtool posted:

when will people learn that combining poo poo doesnt make it less lovely, it leaves you with more poo poo

Have you heard of this fantastic new investment opportunity called Star Citizen?

# ? Sep 25, 2016 23:39

Redrum and Coke: Feb 25, 2006; wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid

gschmidl posted:

Not just an extra packet of magnesium, but an entire other lighter, too.

e: I would also like to add

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wazoosurvivalgear/the-ultimate-everyday-and-travel-accessory-cache-b

e2: dammit, image not moving, but that way it's more of a surprise how dumb it is!

Perfect for this goon favorite

# ? Sep 26, 2016 01:01

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

was this the guy that was a night janitor or something?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 01:20

working mom: Jul 8, 2015

Tippis posted:

Have you heard of this fantastic new investment opportunity called Star Citizen?

Star Citizen isn't an investment, its a lifestyle choice

# ? Sep 26, 2016 01:34

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

Fauxtool posted:

was this the guy that was a night janitor or something?

Server admin at some random data center in Maryland.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 01:37

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

drat. My guess was �school shooter�.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 01:43

Babe Magnet: Jun 2, 2008

well, it's not too late

# ? Sep 26, 2016 02:10

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

gschmidl posted:

Not just an extra packet of magnesium, but an entire other lighter, too.

e: I would also like to add

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wazoosurvivalgear/the-ultimate-everyday-and-travel-accessory-cache-b

e2: dammit, image not moving, but that way it's more of a surprise how dumb it is!

Which pocket holds the Bat-Shark-Repellent?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 04:48

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Has anyone asked why would you put all that poo poo in a belt when you could put it in a tin?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 04:54

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

Platystemon posted:

Has anyone asked why would you put all that poo poo in a belt when you could put it in a tin?

The nice agent at the airport, while putting on the glove?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 05:36

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Lets kickstart a survival kit designed to be hidden in the butt. It can come in various sizes with the biggest one for serious survivalists.

All these mall ninjas and serious operators daily carrying butt plugs

# ? Sep 26, 2016 07:28

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Carecat posted:

Oh I don't know, looks like it's a pretty good model but pricey. By Indie Go Go standards the fact it's main selling point doesn't work is only a minor drawback!

Edit: And it turns out it does work.

It "works" in much the same sense I do - reluctantly, half-assedly, and only after hours of cajoling.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 08:34

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Fauxtool posted:

Lets kickstart a survival kit designed to be hidden in the butt. It can come in various sizes with the biggest one for serious survivalists.

All these mall ninjas and serious operators daily carrying butt plugs

Build a usb drive into it and make hundreds of bitcoins from people wanting to protect their wallet.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 08:40

LogicalFallacy: Nov 16, 2015; Wrecking hell's shit since 1993

Unguided posted:

Build a usb drive into it and make hundreds of bitcoins from people wanting to protect their wallet.

And watch that wonderful nickname come true? Hell yes!

# ? Sep 26, 2016 08:41

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

only a serious bitcoiner can hold this many in my anus. Hold on lemme get my wallet out

# ? Sep 26, 2016 09:16

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Fauxtool posted:

only a serious bitcoiner can hold this many in my anus. Hold on lemme get my wallet out

Has anyone said buttcoin yet?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 09:33

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Paladinus posted:

Has anyone said buttcoin yet?

Speaking of, where did the bitcoin mocking thread go after the GBSpocalypse?

# ? Sep 26, 2016 11:29

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

I use my belt to hold 15 gameboy advances

# ? Sep 26, 2016 11:47

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Collateral Damage posted:

Speaking of, where did the bitcoin mocking thread go after the GBSpocalypse?

There is one in YOSPOS.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 12:01

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Paladinus posted:

There is one in YOSPOS.

I know there used to be a YOSPOS thread full of idiot goons who actually bought into it, but there used to be a more interesting thread in GBS (believe it or not) dedicated to making fun of bitcoin and its following of people who were dropped on their heads as children.

fake edit: Found it in the GBS archive. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3760566

real edit: That one was the second incarnation after the first one ran out of steam: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543334

Collateral Damage has a new favorite as of 12:22 on Sep 26, 2016

# ? Sep 26, 2016 12:15

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Collateral Damage posted:

I know there used to be a YOSPOS thread full of idiot goons who actually bought into it

the yospos thread is still very much into bitcoin

# ? Sep 26, 2016 13:20

Zanzibar Ham: Mar 17, 2009; You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.; Grimey Drawer

unpacked robinhood posted:

the yospos thread is still very much into bitcoin

That reminds me, I've got a bitcoin embassy 3 minutes away from me. They're right next to the Tel Aviv exchange.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 13:45

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

gschmidl posted:

Not just an extra packet of magnesium, but an entire other lighter, too.

e: I would also like to add

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wazoosurvivalgear/the-ultimate-everyday-and-travel-accessory-cache-b

e2: dammit, image not moving, but that way it's more of a surprise how dumb it is!

"We use it for MUHNEE" :smug:

I have a very real hate for these guys just from hearing their voices and idiotic pitch video.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 15:18

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

imagine the countless ways you could wedgie a dweeb with that belt

# ? Sep 26, 2016 15:19

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Collateral Damage posted:

I know there used to be a YOSPOS thread full of idiot goons who actually bought into it, but there used to be a more interesting thread in GBS (believe it or not) dedicated to making fun of bitcoin and its following of people who were dropped on their heads as children.

fake edit: Found it in the GBS archive. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3760566

real edit: That one was the second incarnation after the first one ran out of steam: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3543334

The yospos one is dedicated to mocking bitcoin, and does so most effectively now. But stay the gently caress out plz.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 16:32

Carrion Luggage: Nov 24, 2006

PathAsc posted:

"We use it for MUHNEE"

I have a very real hate for these guys just from hearing their voices and idiotic pitch video.

i think it is just a video so they can show everyone their dick bulge

# ? Sep 26, 2016 16:37

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

The cops will never guess you've packed your belt full of drugs.

# ? Sep 26, 2016 19:22

XYZ: Aug 31, 2001

https://ludela.com/

Smart candle, or remote-start arson device?

# ? Sep 27, 2016 21:36

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Im leaving from work, lemme just burn my house down to set the mood

# ? Sep 28, 2016 01:25

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

XYZ posted:

https://ludela.com/

Smart candle, or remote-start arson device?

I expected that commercial to start listing side effects.

Ludella may cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinery, including automobiles, for four hours after using Ludella. If you experience irregular heartbeats or an erection lasting more than sixty minutes, immediately stop using Ludella and consult a physician.

# ? Sep 29, 2016 04:17

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Epic trolling:

1. Raise $78,000 on Indigogo to make a film.
2. When you meet your funding goal, go silent, stop all communication.
3. Two years later, release a brief apology explaining that you blew threw all the money already and there won't be a film.
4. Two weeks after that, release a trailer for the film you *did* make, about three guys who run a fake crowdfunding campaign and just keep all the money.

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/q-and-a/a49026/fnd-films-indiegogo-its-all-good/

quote:

Some of these online comments from contributors�that's rage. How bad did it get?

The ugliest email I got was someone who wrote the word MURDER, like a hundred times over, in the email. So�not that bad. I don't fear my safety. We've had a lot of people let us know they're contacting their lawyers to get their money back, but that's the crazy thing about crowdfunding�there's no repercussions in place. People can't do anything, aside from like, stalk us down and kill us.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 01:21

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl7tyF71zHA

Video about a Kickstarter thing that can�t get regulatory approval because it will put your eye out.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 01:44

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# ? May 14, 2024 03:47

SupSuper: Apr 8, 2009; At the Heart of the city is an Alien horror, so vile and so powerful that not even death can claim it.

Phanatic posted:

Epic trolling:

1. Raise $78,000 on Indigogo to make a film.
2. When you meet your funding goal, go silent, stop all communication.
3. Two years later, release a brief apology explaining that you blew threw all the money already and there won't be a film.
4. Two weeks after that, release a trailer for the film you *did* make, about three guys who run a fake crowdfunding campaign and just keep all the money.

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/q-and-a/a49026/fnd-films-indiegogo-its-all-good/

Awful Kickstarters Vol II: People can't do anything, aside from like, stalk us down and kill us.

# ? Sep 30, 2016 10:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

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