Tom Gorman posted:

Guess what goons. I've seen some of you before in person. You might not even know it. You might not remember me, but I remember.

But tonight while on the toilet, I'm going to think of you and drop a dook.

I won't masturbate to you though, that needs to be earned.

quote:

I was going to order pizza, he wanted me to use a discount code from a pamphlet we got in the mail. A new pizza place (same chain) is reopening nearby (not yet open) and they have a welcome code for a discount. The code happened to somehow work for other locations. (I don't think it was meant to)

I got anxious thinking that using this code with the store would be wrong, I said it made me feel uncomfortable. He said I was being unreasonable, the code works so we should use it. When I said I didn't want to do that he said "well, fine, buy my food then and nothing for you."

I tried to pay full price instead, he came over to supervise the transaction so I couldn't. He saw I was doing so, and then got annoyed and made me delete what he wanted because it's expensive, and get something cheaper. Said he'd buy it himself. At one point I tried to get the laptop away from him and there was a little struggle to delete his pizza. I said he was being unreasonable, and he said I was instead. To just use the code.

He sat down insisting I get a crappier pizza for him, and he only wants those foods if it's cheaper.

I just bought the expensive food anyway, so poo poo is about to hit the fan, I assume. It was literally a ten dollar difference, the savings of TEN dollars and I wanted to pay it myself, it felt wrong to me to take advantage. I was the one buying the pizza, it wasn't a joint account and doesn't impact him in any way. I'm considering lying when the food arrives, that I used the code to shut him up.

Bonzo posted:

This is an odd one. Wonder what happened to the guy?


My guess is his family doesn't approve of her?

DOMDOM posted:

the trials and tribulations of ordering pizza

Me 29F with my 31M 10 years, he insisted I take advantage of a dishonest discount deal on pizza. I didn't want to (my treat). Things got more stressful than expected.

This is like the antithesis of the extreme coupon-er from the old thread

quote:

My (25 f) husband (33 m) thinks I'm a Lesbian. Together for 6 years.

So, I'm a super outgoing person and always have been... My husband is similar and we go out often, know a lot of people etc. I am also what I will describe as relatively attractive and like most women have received attention from both males and females since I was a teen. Not a big deal....

When I met my husband we would go out and if I got chatted up by men, I got into the habit of brushing them off or kindly explaining that I was there with my husband. But because I really like being social and meeting new people. If a girl approached me I would chat with them and sometimes trade compliments. Very normal stuff. My husband noticed this and then started to make comments a few years ago about how many women "hit" on me. That and I have a few straight gfs who in the past after some drinks might try to make out with me or whatever, but I always manage to kindly decline.

Another factor is that im a artist. I get paid to do some graphic work, but as a hobby I like to draw models, usually with very little or no clothing. In my opinion the images arent sexual at all, and I like to draw women because I try to convey an emotion Im feeling through a model. And....Im a woman. So relatively often I will see a girl and mention that I think shes attractive or whatever. Though I never approach a woman to pose, all of my models approach me.

However, my husband has started to behave really inappropriately. This is all after a couple of drinks, but if I start talking to a woman he might come up and say..."hey my wife is a artist, you should let paint you" or something similar. Which is hugely embarrassing for me and very unprofessional. I've told him this and he responds by saying its a joke...or that hes helping me out. He makes jokes anytime I'm looking at any sort of media..."oh, are you checking that girl out" or a bunch of other stupid things.

This has led to conversations about our relationship. I have said to him..I can appreciate a beautiful woman, but I have no desire to sleep with one. He admitted that he has thought about me being with another woman etc. But he said its not something that he NEEDS to happen. So great, that works because I dont like women that way.

However, the last time we went out. We saw a friend who we have know a while and who IS a lesbian....I was talking to someone else but basically overheard my husband tell her that Im into women and that she should kiss me or approach me or whatever. SHOCKINGLY she does! She cam over to me and asked if I would kiss her...in front of the person I was already talking to. I laughed and told her no thanks. Trying to make the situation less awkward. She then goes back to my husband...who says something along the line of..you should ask to come over. Again.....shockingly, she comes over and asks if she can go swimming at the house with us that night. Which I declined saying tat we have house guest. Which we did.

Im trying to be kind but I am pissed at my husband. He comes over at this point and she asks me AGAIN to kiss her. To which I finally responded that I had been trying to be nice, but that this was all very awkward and that I wasn't interested and that her and my husband could go do whatever it is they needed to do. She immediately realized the situation she was in and apologized a lot. Said she had drank too much and left. She sent me a message the next day and apologized again.

I am super mad at my husband because he basically propositioned some woman in front of me and I feel like he embarrassed everyone involved and that he thinks its ok to hit on women "on my behalf" He says he doesnt really remember this happening (he was drunk) and that its not that big of a deal. He said sorry but thats it. I think this is huge deal and Im not willing to brush it off, but I dont know what to do.

tl;dr: My husband thinks Im a lesbian and uses it as an excuse to approach women

quote:

My (25/F) brother's (35/M) ex-wife sent me a text message saying to stay away from him.

They started dating when I was 10. She and I got along great for a long time, but we lost touch three years ago, when they divorced.

They broke up because she cheated on him, which she admitted to.

I'm not particularly close with my brother, but I do go to his house on occasion to see him and his dogs.

To my knowledge he doesn't talk to his ex-wife. They left on bad terms.

Out of nowhere, I got a text from her early last night saying, "Stay the gently caress away from Liam." That's my brother's name. I haven't heard from her in three years. So for her to contact me at all was really weird and out of left field. I figured she sent it to the wrong person, so I asked. "You know this is _______, don't you?" and she replied with, "Of course I know."

I asked what she meant by "stay the gently caress away" and why she would want me to stay away from a family member, but she didn't respond.

I already know I'm going to tell my brother. I'm just wondering what she could possibly have meant by all of that.

TL;DR Brother's ex-wife sent me a text saying to "stay the gently caress away" from him. I haven't heard from her since they divorced three years ago. To my knowledge they don't speak. I could be wrong. In any case her text to me made no sense, and I did ask her if she sent it to the right person, to which she said yes but failed to explain what she meant. I'm going to tell my brother. I just don't know what she was thinking.

rage against the Maureen posted:

'my husband is in love with another man and wants him to move in with us. Also, he orders a lot pizza, what's um with that? '

JnnyThndrs posted:

Looks like several of these women were in previous relationships with abusive guys, so being with an emotionless robot looks pretty good when your black eye has just healed up. Fifteen years later, though, the decision looks....less good.

These stories are pretty sad, though, Jesus, starting over at 58 sounds hellish.

quote:

I've tried online dating, nightclubs, yoga classes, etc.... Not having any luck anywhere. I'm below average in the looks department but I think it's more than that. My social skills are terrible, and I have no friends to go out with. What are the best environments right now for me to start putting myself out there without being immediately rejected?
TL;DR- No dating experience, women hate me.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My husband and I (48M, 47F) have discovered our daughter (17F) making white supremacist videos online

we do not know how she got into this stuff or why but we looked it up and watched all of it and it's undoubtedly her in the videos, filming herself in our home, even wearing shirts with neo-Nazi symbols we didn't know she'd bought

Gaunab posted:

This is just sad

Bonzo posted:

check out my Youtube posted:

Is it a rule in this subreddit that you have to put in a tl;dr?

quote:

i [25f] am being Single White Female'd by my boyfriend [36m]'s ex FWB [31f]!!

I am not sure if this belongs in r/relationships, but I am trying-- because you all seem to have a pretty intricate understanding of human behavior and you're here for a reason. To be "single white femaled" is a play on the movie Single White Female meaning that someone is totally undermining me in a very serious and aggressive way, and its terrifying. Please help!

So, here goes; I live in a minor city on the west coast. I just moved here from the east coast about a year ago, and I'm just now getting my footing both socially and professionally. I met an amazing fellow who I started dating about seven months ago-- he's wonderful in most every way. About two years ago he started the process of divorcing his ex wife of 5 years and the mother of his child, and as part of that, he was kind of sleeping around a bit, you know, doing the post divorce thing. He started sleeping with a girl i'll call Amber. He was very honest with her, told her he wasn't quite over the divorce yet and that it was just a friends with benefits type of situation, and that there was no expectation of monogamy or that they were dating and she totally agreed. They hung out in this way for around 2 months last year and then, after a bit of a rough patch, he told her he couldn't keep sleeping with her and he broke things off.

Fast forward to this year, and we meet and hit it off big time. Pretty quickly we become a couple, and he starts introducing me to the important people-- his parents, his friends, his broader social circles. Everyone seems incredibly friendly and excited for us, and it's great. I'm excited to meet more people and expand my tiny social circle, and he's excited for everyone to meet me. One night at a poker tournament I notice a girl across the room giving me the stink eye. I casually point it out to him, and he nods and says "that's weird. hm." . Its not long after this that his friends start calling him saying "dude, Amber is pissed. She said you're a total piece of poo poo that led her on, etc etc". This upsets him greatly because he was very honest with her about the nature of the relationship and he thought they were on good terms. Turns out, she thought that when he said "I can't be with you" it meant "I can't be with you --right now--" and she was holding out hope for him for a while (from the mouth of one of the friends that called).

Pretty soon, those calls stop, and friends stop calling either of us to hang out. We show up at places where our friends hang out and they're nice to my boyfriend (they were his friends first), but incredibly chilly to me, and I can't figure out why. Not long after that, she starts showing up wherever he or I go. I notice that she's always dressed to the nines, and that every social interaction is as larger-than-life and boisterous-- something, he says, she was never like when they hung out before ("truthfully, she just liked to wear jeans and smoke weed on the couch" he says.) He notices her hanging out with his friends more, tagging along with them to every event that he used to get invited to. A few weeks later, and she's posting pictures on instagram of her "OMG BFFS FOR LIFE!!" which include folks from three separate social circles that he's involved with-- folks that she never even knew before they started hanging out-- folks that have been his best friends for years. In example-- she'd never set out on a surf board before, even when they were hanging out, and suddenly now she's at the local surf bar with his surf friends talking about killer breaks when he's been surfing most of his adult life and he's known these folks for nearly 13 years.

A friend that I made when I first moved down here stops answering my calls/texts. I text her saying "hey, i miss you, lets get coffee!" and nothing. Not long after that, photos of Amber and friend are all over the internet with "bestie!!" plastered along side the photos. I tell good friend that I want to go check out a new taco place that just opened up the street from my house and she replies "Amber and I tried to go, but it was too crowded. I think we'll try again soon." I can't confirm that she was saying this to be lovely to me, but it seems weird with everything going on. At this point, Amber tries very hard at this point to become good friends with bf's best friend, Matt, who plays it cool then immediately calls boyfriend to say "dude, she's got it out for you. watch out."

About two weeks ago, boyfriend was at a good friend's house playing cards and having a drink when I called. He invited me over and I declined, as I have work to do. When i met up with him later, he says "sorry, i didn't realize that you and Damon didn't get along." to which I reply "I've never even met the guy!!! WTF!". BF immediately asks Damon whats up with that-- as Damon was the one that said that we didn't get along and he says "I guess I just listen to the rumor mill too much-- i heard she was an awful person." I've seriously not lived in this town/socialized enough to be an awful person!

The last straw was when his ex wife was tagged in a photo on facebook-- we are friendly, me and her, as he has a child with her and I totally believe in keeping those connections strong, especially if I'm going to have a future with him in which I help parent the kid-- and in the photo was AMBER WITH HIS EX AND THEIR KID.

Boyfriend calls up ex wife to ask why she was hanging out with Amber and she says "I dunno, she just started hanging out with the friends group and she's totally fun and we hit it off big time!" This sounds up GIGANTIC alarm bells with me, and I'm furious and upset and all sorts of lovely emotions. So now, I'm here.

Guys, I'm really unsettled about this and I have no idea really what to do. I don't want to make a big scene, I don't want to draw attention to this, but something very bad is happening here and I feel absolutely powerless to stop it. I don't want my boyfriend's friends to hate me, and I don't want to destroy potential friendships in a town I just moved to. Most of all, I feel crazy. What if these are just a big bunch of coincidences and I'm overreacting? What If I'm not? What would you do if you were me?! What the hell should I do?!

TL;DR: Boyfriend's Ex FWB is trying to push me out of the social circle/make my life hell and I don't know what to do about it.

quote:

Throwaway account because he reddits and probably frequents this sub.

I have been with my boyfriend, Zac, for almost 2 years. Our relationship has been nothing short of amazing. We have similar interests, we are both very open, honest and trusting of each other and we are planning a long-term future. I won't bore you with the details, but I think we have an objectively strong relationship based on good communication, 100% transparency and mutual trust. This discovery has been a bit of a shock.

Zac and I recently started planning our wedding and engagement. We are both more interested in the wedding, and more importantly, what happens after marriage, as opposed to how elaborate the proposal is. I told him what ring I want, but I also told him that thinking about what our life will be like after marriage is more important. As a result, we are kind of planning our wedding together before we are officially engaged. He has been contacting a bunch of venues as venues in our city book out really quickly, sometimes two years in advance.

He has been really busy the past few days so I said I will do some more work on the venue searching front and compile a spreadsheet of the costs. I asked him to forward all the emails with quotes to me, but then I realised that I've been borrowing his laptop. We both agreed that it is easier for me to just browse through his emails (I think you see where this is going).

I am not trying to defend my actions, I know that snooping is wrong. We recently shared our passwords for everything and we are both very open about our phones and computers. But I guess in the most cliche way, my curiosity came over me and I searched his ex's name (he was previously with her for 7 years).

After I searched her name, I realised that it was wrong so I decided against reading any of their emails to each other. But before I closed out of the window, I saw an email from him to his best friend (who lives overseas) with both my name and his ex's name in it, sent about 1.5 years ago. I couldn't help my curiosity and opened it. Clicking on it was a mistake and inappropriate, but I found this:

"I have been dating [my name] for 5 months now. It's going really well. I really like her and she feels the same. She's very smart, I might even admit she's smarter than me :p That's probably what I like most about her. She's really into having deep discussions about all sorts of things, especially psychological things, which I'm really into as well. We have really great conversations, I just really like talking to her. In addition to smarts, she's also very caring and nice. I think most people would say she isn't very physically attractive, that's probably the only drawback. Although I actually find her quite attractive, so maybe it doesn't matter what other people think. Still too early to be thinking long term but I think both of us are very surprised by how well we are getting along so far. Overall I feel very lucky to have met her."

I know the overall tone of the message was positive, but I can't help but notice what he said about my lack of physical attractiveness. I know that I'm not that attractive, but I definitely don't think I am what "most people would call unattractive". I work out regularly, maintain a healthy diet, play sports, dance and take good care of my appearance. I wouldn't say I'm gorgeous, but I get compliments on my appearance, my fashion sense or my body on a semi-regular basis from friends and acquaintances. Some of them might be saying it to be nice, but I wouldn't say they are ALL lying.

I have always had self-esteem issues and have had a lot of trouble accepting compliments in the past. I also had an eating disorder 5 years ago. When I was complimented I always assumed people were lying. Since meeting Zac, he has consistently tried to assure me that he thinks I'm beautiful and that has gradually convinced me that I'm not physically unattractive. Hence I have become more confident and positive as a person, which is a really good change that many people around me have noticed.

Now I feel like my insecurity has all come back and I am wondering what he really thinks of me. I don't doubt that he believes I am beautiful, but the fact that he thinks I'm objectively unattractive and that it is a "drawback" worries me. I don't expect my partner to think of me as the most gorgeous girl, but what would he think of me when the love goggles fade over time? On top of that, his ex is absolutely beautiful (she does a lot of modelling on the side). I also know that when they first met, he thought she was "the hottest girl in the club".

I definitely plan to talk to Zac about this. We are both very open and transparent about everything and I know he will be okay with the fact that I read his email, but I don't know where we will go from here. Also, he is going through some important assessments and exams at the moment and they won't finish til 5 days later. I don't want to cause any stress during this period, so I will have to try my best not to go crazy over the next few days.

I know that this isn't going to be a deal breaker. I love Zac dearly, I know he genuinely loves me, and we have built a fantastic relationship. I guess I just want some outsider's perspective. Have you experienced similar situations? How could I best communicate this? How can I get over my insecurities and low self-esteem again, when they have been triggered by this?

Thanks Reddit

tl;dr: Boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship and are planning a wedding. I just found an email from my boyfriend to his best friend saying that he is very happy he met me and really likes me. He said he thinks "most people" would describe as "not very physically attractive", though he finds me quite attractive. I had suffered from low self-esteem, an eating disorder and insecurities about my appearance in the past and now I fear they will be triggered again.

chaosbreather posted:

I have no idea how people share passwords with their SOs. Passwords aren't a key to a door, they're proof of identity. If you have my password, to everyone else, you are me. It's like disguising yourself as them.

CodfishCartographer posted:

Something seems slightly off about that email. Like humble brag about being smart mixed with fishing for compliments almost.

gentle pete posted:

My (24/f) husband's (25/m) best friend (25/f) sent us a box of feces as a "prank" while we were away on our honeymoon. Our apartment smells like death and I'm livid.

Gaunab posted:

Single White Female

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Normally someone in the social circle would smell the crazy, right? It kinda sounds like she's just cooler than OP or her boyfriend.

Dial-a-Dog posted:

Maybe the girl being SWFed should take it as a bigger red flag that every social connection her boyfriend has is willing to drop him completely and ostracize his girlfriend based on someone they barely know

loquacius posted:

nobody this crazy is this charismatic

quote:

My crush [17 F] thinks I [17 M] am creepy, please help!Dating

submitted 3 days ago by brucewaynev3

They are a girl in my class that I love, but I have never talked to her because I am too scared. I spend all day looking at her Facebook pictures, and like to see her before I go to sleep at night. One of my favorite pictures of her is the wall paper on my phone.

I never talk to anyone at school and no one looks at my phone. But in just a 1 in a million chance the guy next to my asked to see my phone so he could check something on the internet. I didn't think anything of it so I said sure and gave it to him. The girl was sitting on the other side of him. When he opened the phone she saw her picture on my phone.

Lets just say she didn't like it too well. What can I do? I still have a huge crush on her but she thinks I'm creepy.

tl;dr: I had a picture of her on my phone and she saw it. Now she thinks I'm a creep

quote:

In Florida what would be the penalty for attempted kidnapping and impersonating a police officer? (self.legaladvice)

submitted 2 days ago by brucewaynev3

If someone pretended to be a police officer to handcuff a girl. But she either doesn't believe him, or she gets away. What would the punishment be?

I mean if she gets away it's not really kidnapping right? And they didn't hurt her or anything so it wouldn't be a bad crime would it?

Adventure Pigeon posted:

Here's a relationships legaladvice twofer

Nondescript Van posted:

The next day in r/legaladvice

we get boat we get go posted:

This thread moves too fast, like so many of these terrible relationships!

quote:

[–]electrobolt 86 points 1 day ago*

It doesn't just stop there. Something about this guy's posting style rang a really uncomfortable bell.

I submit that this poster is one and the same as /u/darylprat, who posted over and over again in /r/relationships and /r/legaladvice about the fact that he was stalking a minor celebrity and was trying to get her attention via social media. His behavior was so erratic and worrisome that mods actually notified the girl's employer.

Anyway, one of the fake accounts he made on Facebook to continue stalking his victim was Bruce Wayne.

I am certain it's the same guy, which unfortunately means that he isn't getting successful help for his mental illness and his victim might still be in danger (edit: or, as appears more likely, he has a new victim).

quote:

I am a 36 year old female and my 25 year old boyfriend thrives on getting my goat. Typically this makes me laugh. We exchange playful banter and enjoy/annoy each other all in good fun. We've been together for 2 years and were considering living together. I am a chill chick. I put up with a lot in the name of love and happy relationships.
My one thing: please don't go #2 when I'm in the bathroom. So, I'm in the bathroom today putting on my make up. He barges in, pulls down his pants, plants it on the toilet, puts his feet up on the tub, thus assuming the I'm about to take a poo poo position. What?! Wait! I'm only on my eyeliner and still have the mascara to do, I exclaim to him. He chuckles and gives me the I don't give a poo poo look. He poops! He just loving poops.
Ladies. Bros. Come on. Please help me put my boundaryless boyfriend in his place. He's here chucking like a fool because I get so upset. I'm in the shower, he decides to take a poo poo. I'm taking a poo poo and he wants to have a conversation.
Pooping is a solitary thing. Me and my poop, you and your poop. I need to not know about your comings and goings of feces. Thank you very much.
Reddit, is it too much to ask?
Tl;dr my boyfriend likes to poop around me or be around me when I poop and I hate it.

quote:

Hi. I'm Kayleigh, and my boyfriend is Sam. Some background information, if you want to you can skip this part
We met through a mutual friend on a night out five years ago. I really liked him as soon as I met him, and he really liked me back. We became a couple pretty quickly, and for the first year things were great. We moved in together after seven months. To be honest we haven't had many problems in our five years of being together, only one major fight we had when I was 23, and we broke up for about a month. Nobody slept with anyone else or flirted or anything like that, we both just became pretty depressed without each other.

At the two year mark, he bought the game World of Warcraft. A lot of my friends play it so I wasn't worried even though I did know how addictive it is. He started playing all the time. Literally, all the time. If he was busy raiding and I made dinner, he would refuse to stop playing and eat. If I wanted to watch our favourite show, he wouldn't come to watch it. He'd prefer playing.. than having sex. He would stay up until all hours of the morning to play, and skip work too. I had to voice out my opinion on it eventually and told him I hated how he was constantly ignoring me for the game. And I thought this was a really exaggerated way of playing. He told me he didn't really care, and he was having a really fun time with his guild friends and told me to butt out of his gaming life.

I was loving furious, but I let it slide for some strange reason. After about two months, I told him this was going to stop or I was gonna leave him. Hooray for me, he cancelled his account. It came from him, so I was over the moon. Things got much, much better. He didn't play again for a long time, in fact he just re-activated his account at the beginning of the year. His friend bought him a gamecard so that they could play together again, and because he seemed so excited to see how different the game was, I didn't comment on it. Things weren't as bad as they used to be.
He plays now, quite a lot, but definitely less than he used to. He prioritizes a lot of things before the game now, like me, work, dinner, tv shows. I was pretty content with the way things were going, he only played three hours a day, max, and I had my own things to do meanwhile.

That was until yesterday.. this was when I found out some seriously hosed up poo poo was going on. I was sitting next to him on my own computer while he was playing. I decided.. why not watch him play? Perhaps get to know the game better, try to understand why it's so addictive. Boy.. what a bad idea that was.
He was roleplaying. I'd heard about RP before but I never thought he'd be the kind of guy to do it. I actually find it rather odd, but I'm a very supportive person of the phrase 'each to their own' so fair enough. I asked him what kind of roleplay it was, etc. and he told me he was just in a market in a city called Silver-something. I've forgotten. He takes it very seriously. He was buying apples or something because his character was hungry? He had just randomly decided that his character was hungry so he bought him food... okay.

He then got very into detail, and started explaining every kind of roleplay he does, etc. He must have thought I thought it was interesting or something. Then... he told me he also likes something he calls ERP. Which is erotic roleplaying I believe. I sort of just stared at him in confusion.. like.. you roleplay sex? He admitted he's into that and his character's actually quite a ladies man. I froze. I asked specifically what he emoted, etc, and he showed me some screenshot examples.

I can't tell if this bothers me.. I can't tell if I think it's cheating or not. But it's up to me to set boundaries for myself, so I'm loving confused. I didn't like the fact that he ws emoting all these sexual things and even going into detail about his thrusting, etc, but I also feel like a loving idiot because.. they're cartoons? The girl on the other side of the screen might be fat, ugly, a man, even! So.. should I really be mad?
I do consider it in some form. cheating, yes, because he's getting horny and imagining doing sexual things with another woman. He told me he's wanked over these events a couple times, and apparently some girls have told him he's great and that they've been fingering themselves over my boyfriend's keyboard skills. Ugh. I'm pretty torn. I walked away from my boyfriend after telling him I thought it was pretty weird and considered it to be a form of cheating. He yelled after me I was being silly and that it was in no way cheating. Just really weird. What would you guys do? How do I tell him to stop?! Is this really weird, or am I over-reacting?
TL;DR - Boyfriend ERP's and I think it's hosed up.

DOMDOM posted:

I vote poop fetish guy for thread mascot