- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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My boyfriend specifically said he doesn't believe the conspiracy theories and only thinks the situation should be prudently scrutinized. He doesn't think it's a big deal and is talking calmly and rationally about it.
Is he a CRAZY CONSPIRACY THEORIST!?
Except he is. You can tone down the language, but at the core he is a conspiracy theorist.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 14:59
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- Moon Atari
- Dec 26, 2010
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I think she was probably just humble bragging about her eagle master boyfriend.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:53
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- mind the walrus
- Sep 22, 2006
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My [23f] new bf [27m] of 3 months is either a disney character, crazy, or a liar.
I'd marry a girl who pulled some beastmaster poo poo and had an "eagle friend", but then again I'm a weirdo who really likes birds so
Two parter coming through
My [24M] girlfriend [24F] went way too far pranking her male friend [24M] and now I'm wondering if the pranks are flirtation after all.
Update post
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Oct 5, 2016 16:53
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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Apparently Owls are meaner, to the point where even people experienced in Falconry etc. will lose fingers and eyes to them.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:55
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Me [31F] with my husband [32M] 10 years, he didn't hang up phone properly and went on to give away his infidelity. Help!
quote:So I was talking to my husband on the phone earlier while he finished work and was getting groceries.
Anyway, we say goodbye and he fails to hang up properly. I didn't actually realsie until I heard a female voice say his name and that she was so excited to spend the night again.
He said he was excited too and I heard a pecking kiss sort of thing. I hung up.
I text him straight away saying "I heard it all. Come home immediately. Alone. To talk. Seriosuly"
That was 2 hours ago and his phone has now tunred off and I don't know what to do. Help?
tl;dr: Overheard husband and female talk about spending the night and what may have been a kiss. When I asked him to come home he turned off his phone and hasn't been home 4 hours later.
Edit: IT is nearly 1am in the UK. I am off to bed but will update of and when I can. Thanks everyone!
Edit 2: He hasn't turned up for work this morning. He was due in at 10am and its now 12:15. His boss rang me to ask why he was late. I half explained that we'd had a falling out, didn't want to go into too much detail of course. Peter (the boss) said he seemed distant as he clocked off work yesterday evening.
Now this is where things get a little complicated. My husband work in a care home for special needs children, he was still working while doing groceries (it was a shopping trip for the residents too), so he finished work shortly after the phonecall incident.
This means that the woman in question is either a colleague, or my husband has the complete audacity to risk his job by allowing strangers to join his work activities. I'm trying not to dwell on who the woman could be or I'll be too upset.
I've spoken to all friends, family, any one that might know where my husband is but no one knows. My sister, and my husband's brother have come to an agreement if he is not home by dinner time tonight we will have to report him missing just incase.
ALso, for those concerned, I have spoken to a lawyer briefly over the phone, and am seeing him in person tomorrow while my sister babysits. I have also checked our bank and the last access was while husband was shopping before he finished work. No money has gone in or out since.
(Sorry for any mistakes, editing on my mobile while out with the kids, they are a lot chirpier today, but who wouldn't be while at the zoo?!)
in a deleted update post, he killed himself right after the phone call and his family blames her
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Oct 5, 2016 16:55
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- Lunchmeat Larry
- Nov 3, 2012
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Two parter coming through
My [24M] girlfriend [24F] went way too far pranking her male friend [24M] and now I'm wondering if the pranks are flirtation after all.
Update post
quote:Well, this is the latest one:
Here. Spread it around! I can't believe I was removed!
For those of you who don't want to read the earlier posts, my girlfriend (now ex) got way too close to her male friend Declan through an infantile prank war, whose roommate Chad facilitated some of the pranks. I also want to say THANK YOU for the helpful PMs and comments of support, I got way too many to reply to all of them, but they were all helpful.
Sorry for updating so late, a lot has happened and it was 4th of July weekend.
The night of my previous post, I broke up with my girlfriend. I told her pretty much exactly what was suggested. I even told her hat I thought her behavior with Declan was already an emotional affair if not a physical one. Not surprisingly, she flipped out at me and told me I was being emotionally abusive and controlling. She told me that every ex-boyfriend she's had has been emotionally abusive and I fall right into that category. ok. lol
Because she's only "kind of" living with me and technically not on the lease (she's just slowly been staying here more often and has a key) it was pretty easy to kick her out. I wasn't sure if she was going to return to her old roommate, who has most of her stuff (her female friend) or if she'd start living with Declan and Chad (his roommate). When I asked her if she was going to move in with Declan, she told me it was no longer my business.
Anyway, so that night I tried to relax...I was pretty upset but pretty sure in my decision to dump her, and I felt like I could start new, meet someone else, etc. Then I got a bunch of random calls on my phone from a restricted number, when I picked up nobody was there. So I turned my phone on silent, figuring this was one of her immature schemes (tbh I still don't know who did it, I'm just assuming her or Declan) and in the morning I had 60 missed calls from restricted numbers.
In the morning I actually got a text from Declan asking to come over to pick up my girlfriend's stuff. So...yes, she moved in with him. I tried to be civil because I really just wanted to get her stuff out of my apartment, but I also wanted closure, so when he got here, I just told him that his relationship with her directly influenced the breakup, and that I know they're together now.
Now, this is where things get weird. Declan looks at me- surprised- and tells me that he doesn't think my girlfriend is into him, and that he definitely isn't into her. I told him to cut the crap, that it doesn't matter anymore. He seemed to be getting anxious and panicky, so I told him to calm down, i wasn't going to hurt him, I just wanted to know the deal. Then he tells me that he knows he directly contributed to our breakup, but not in the way I think--apparently it was Chad, not Declan, who wanted to bang my girlfriend. Chad was too shy and asked Declan to befriend my girlfriend and act as a "wingman." Declan has tons of female friends so Chad thought he would effectively gain her trust and be a good "in". Declan insisted the reason he kept pranking her and being goofy was because he was hoping it would paint their relationship as clearly non-romantic. Apparently Chad paid him back for all the times he had to lose money in a prank, and Chad was actually the one paying for my girlfriend's broken nose.
I told him "Well, that was a stupid plan because my girlfriend moved in with you specifically to be with you, so that sucks for all three of you." Declan got extremely upset and seemed to be practically shaking at the idea that my girlfriend had feelings for him, he was acting like he murdered someone.
So now my girlfriend (well, ex) is living with the guy she has a crush on (who has no feelings for her) and a guy who has a crush on her but was too creepy and weird to say it. I hope they all have fun together.
tl;dr: Dumped girlfriend, she moved in with Declan and it turns out Declan doesn't like her, Chad does.
I'm sure she will contact me again once it dawns on her that the "wrong guy" is interested. I will update you all if that happens.
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Oct 5, 2016 16:55
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Me [31F] with my husband [32M] 10 years, he didn't hang up phone properly and went on to give away his infidelity. Help!
in a deleted update post, he killed himself right after the phone call and his family blames her
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Oct 5, 2016 16:57
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Apparently Owls are meaner, to the point where even people experienced in Falconry etc. will lose fingers and eyes to them.
They're quite a bit dumber. They're pretty stupid, for birds, we just think they look wise.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:03
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- Tender Bender
- Sep 17, 2004
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I was onboard with the prank post for a while, realized it was fake but the gorilla ham bit made me laugh anyway so it was worth it. But now it keeps going and there's all this dumb confusing drama so maybe it's real?
The ones I think are real are the ones that get really bogged down in explaining some incredibly dumb mundane situation, because you're not even telling a story at that point. Like good job you fooled me there's some guy named Chad who wants to gently caress your insane prank girlfriend?
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Oct 5, 2016 17:04
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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I didn't realize the dicks out for Harambe meant I'm supposed to be sending pictures of my cock to all my female friends. I will rectify this immediately.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:15
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- Theokotos
- Jan 22, 2015
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Fallen Rib
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Pete and Eagle Boyfriend deserve their own call in radio show/podcast where they solve romantic queries and quandaries. Also mysteries.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:16
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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Covering with the Harambe meme is honestly kind of clever considering the guy was too stupid to just delete the pictures from the conversations, even if it obviously didn't work
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Oct 5, 2016 17:18
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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So exactly how common is it to be told that breaking up with someone is emotionally abusive anyway? I'm seeing a bit of a trend.
Pete and Eagle Boyfriend deserve their own call in radio show/podcast where they solve romantic queries and quandaries. Also mysteries.
I'm imagining Eagle Boyfriend as Birdperson from Rick & Morty
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Oct 5, 2016 17:25
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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Pete and Eagle Boyfriend deserve their own call in radio show/podcast where they solve romantic queries and quandaries. Also mysteries.
Nah. They deserve something cooler than that. Pete and eagle bf and eagle should hit the road in an RV stopping in small towns to romance their women, fight crime, and review their diners.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:29
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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So exactly how common is it to be told that breaking up with someone is emotionally abusive anyway? I'm seeing a bit of a trend.
I feel like it's the hot new defense mechanism to avoid having to do any introspection or accept any blame for the failure of a relationship. Also at least a handful of these stories have one partner using accusations of abuse to be abusive themselves
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Oct 5, 2016 17:29
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- pants in my pants
- Aug 18, 2009
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by Smythe
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jet fuel can't melt our relationship
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Oct 5, 2016 17:31
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I feel like it's the hot new defense mechanism to avoid having to do any introspection or accept any blame for the failure of a relationship. Also at least a handful of these stories have one partner using accusations of abuse to be abusive themselves
Young people co-opting the language of legitimate social phenomena and erroneously applying it to their own lives to divest themselves of responsibility? Well I never!
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Oct 5, 2016 17:32
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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Covering with the Harambe meme is honestly kind of clever considering the guy was too stupid to just delete the pictures from the conversations, even if it obviously didn't work
If the gf is retarded enough to believe it then she's retarded enough to believe literally anything. Like might as well say that those texts weren't actually sent to women, they were sent to aliens and the only thing that stops the invasion is a daily dick pic.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:32
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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I would've just gone with "oh my god my phone's been hacked" myself
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Oct 5, 2016 17:38
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- Tender Bender
- Sep 17, 2004
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There are a lot of bad relationship stories but there's also a lot of ex-girlfriends of redditors who met a friend for coffee and then their boyfriend of four years moved out and broke all contact within a week.
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Oct 5, 2016 17:54
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- pants in my pants
- Aug 18, 2009
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by Smythe
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People who post on the internet are weird and broken, who knew?
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Oct 5, 2016 17:57
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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I would've just gone with "oh my god my phone's been hacked" myself
You still have to explain why you've got a dozen dick selfies that you took but didn't send to your gf. But that's pretty easy tbh:
1. Keeping a record over time to identify possible changes that could be dick and/or ball cancer.
2. All those dick picks were going into a giant cock collage that I was going to give you on your birthday. Way to ruin it.
3. Test shots for possible career as a dick model.
Etc.
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Oct 5, 2016 18:01
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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I was going to do one of those artsy videos where it's my picture every day for a year except it was gonna be of my dick
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Oct 5, 2016 18:06
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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People on the Internet always tell you to sever no matter what
Multiple goons in E/N once told me I needed to break off my engagement because my fiancee and I would sometimes argue about where we were going to live in five years
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Oct 5, 2016 18:15
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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People on the Internet always tell you to sever no matter what
Multiple goons in E/N once told me I needed to break off my engagement because my fiancee and I would sometimes argue about where we were going to live in five years
Oh you'll see in 5 years. You'll see.
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Oct 5, 2016 18:18
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- Theokotos
- Jan 22, 2015
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Fallen Rib
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Nah. They deserve something cooler than that. Pete and eagle bf and eagle should hit the road in an RV stopping in small towns to romance their women, fight crime, and review their diners.
Every episode will end with Pete saying "Now that's an ultimatum!", then freeze frame winking at the camera as an eagle cry starts the credits rolling.
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Oct 5, 2016 18:20
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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People on the Internet always tell you to sever no matter what
Multiple goons in E/N once told me I needed to break off my engagement because my fiancee and I would sometimes argue about where we were going to live in five years
arguing is toxic emotional turbulence. if you sense that you are any less than 100% hiveminding then it is time to sever. no one ever compromised their way into escaping from witch mountain
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Oct 5, 2016 18:24
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Not necessarily funny, but topical with recent happenings
Me [27 M] dating a [27 F] 2 short months, has cut off all contact with me over a picture of a clown
quote:Hey everyone, I used a throw away account and ironically though this is my first time posting on reddit! I've enjoyed reading this page and other subreddits, but I feel like I need to reach out for some honest advice on this girl (K) I dated for only 2 months.
So K and I met during the middle of October and we seemed to hit things off very well. We only had 5 dates during this time, I was busy traveling internationally for work and she was busy with work/family obligations that took her out of the city as well. When we weren't together we generally would talk on the phone as opposed to text which I certainly enjoyed since its a great way to hold more meaningful conversations.
When we did text, we would send each other a lot of funny pictures and gifs. We both spoke sarcasm all too well to each other, and it seemed like we enjoyed keeping our text conversations very lighthearted for the most part.
So one night (december 11th) we are texting late into the night, and just having fun when I got a dumb (really dumb) idea to send a gif of a somewhat creepy clown with the words "see you in your dreams" below it. Now just to back up, we have had fun pushing each others buttons, but its never been anything mean or directly hurtful...essentially I was just "clowning around" and was expecting her to freak out but not like this. All she said was Line.Crossed. after I sent the picture. I apologized and laughed some and we said goodnight.
Link to clown picture: https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4a5xg9V9o1r0orgpo1_500.gif
The next evening I had my company Xmas party and work was busy so I wasn't around my phone much. I sent her a text and said "Hey how's your day been?" and all I got for response was "I'm still mad at you". "I asked over the clown?" And no response.
So saturday I sent one more goofy picture, honestly the whole gif app keyboard was probably my downfall but she ate them up at first, but I received no response. I called her Sunday and phone went to voicemail but I didn't leave a message.
So I waited a week and called and left a message on the next Sunday, frankly I could tell she wanted no part of rekindling anything with me with her lack of communication, but I was hoping just for some closure. We got along so well and essentially I could have been friends or maintained at least a decent acquaintance relationship with her. Based on my past breakup experiences they are normally in person or at least on the phone and normally add at least closure as to why things wouldn't work out.
All I wanted was closure, an understanding of what went wrong, did she find someone else, was there someone else the whole time, are my muscles too big (definitely wasn't that), or was it really all over the clown picture (and maybe too much immaturity, but we did have many honest, genuine conversations). So I left a short message, and no response.
Today I jump on Facebook which I hardly ever post or like anyone else's posts/updates. I go to her page and see she has de-friended me.
At the end of the day all of this is fine, I'm not terribly hurt. I don't expect her back in my life. But what hurts the most is just the lack of dialogue at the end. I've never had someone like this just stop talking to me, especially after how well things were going beforehand. I might be leaving out some details, but that's basically the gist of it. I'm moving along fairly fine except for the lack of reasoning for her not responding or getting back to me. Was this really over a silly clown picture? It doesn't really add up, and seems like there must be more to it!
I guess what I'm wondering is, is there any reason to reach out again? Not even to get her back or make things how they were, but just for a clearer understanding of what ALL went wrong?
tl;dr: Girl dated for 2 months, upset over picture of a clown texted to her. Has cut off all communication, is there something more or am I re-living a Seinfeld episode?
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Oct 5, 2016 18:27
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Jerry: She sent you a clown picture?
George: A clown picture, Jerry!
Elaine: What's wrong with clowns? I like clowns.
George: Well ya wouldn't like this one!
Jerry: Okay, so what's the big deal? Tell her you didn't like the clown picture, move on with your life.
George: You don't get it! I can't sleep anymore, Jerry! I turn off the lights and all I can see is that bulbous bald head, that little wave thing, the extended pinky... I can't live like this!
Jerry: Hey, Elaine, didn't you date a clown once?
Elaine: Oh yeah, Bonzo. I couldn't sleep around him either. He wouldn't stop honking the little bike horn.
*KRAMER bursts through the door, in full clown makeup. APPLAUSE.*
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Oct 5, 2016 18:37
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- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
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Just like Mama used to make it!
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Every episode will end with Pete saying "Now that's an ultimatum!", then freeze frame winking at the camera as an eagle cry starts the credits rolling.
Stayed tuned for a new episode of Prep The Bull. Only on ABC's TGIF!
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Oct 5, 2016 18:39
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- Bonzo
- Mar 11, 2004
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Just like Mama used to make it!
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Elaine: Oh yeah, Bonzo. I couldn't sleep around him either. He wouldn't stop honking the little bike horn.
I'll show you a "little bike horn"
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Oct 5, 2016 18:43
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- FormerPoster
- Aug 5, 2004
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Hair Elf
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I was going to do one of those artsy videos where it's my picture every day for a year except it was gonna be of my dick
This would be impressive if you then went out and got all the dick diseases so you could document the destruction of your dick
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Oct 5, 2016 18:46
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- library cat
- Feb 12, 2016
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Me [32F] with my husband [32M] of 10 years, I'm pretty sure my husband is gay but he insists he isn't. I think I want a divorce but I'm not certain. Can't talk to anyone about this, looking for advice.
quote:I apologize in advance if this is incoherent, my mind is a jumble right now and I don’t have anyone to talk to. I have been married to my husband, John, for 8 years, been together for 10. We met through mutual friends in college. He swept me off my feet. He is thoughtful, smart, driven and kind, the sort of man I had always hoped to meet and fall in love with. We moved in together right after school and married a year later. We have a 4 year old daughter.
Our sex life was incredible at first, but like any long term relationship, it dropped off and we have been in a rut since the birth of our daughter, having sex around every 6 months. During this time John has gained a considerable amount of weight and blamed that for his lack of libido. I want him to be healthy but it doesn’t bother me physically, I love him. I’ve told him this repeatedly, but he would tell me that it bothered him and made it hard to get in the mood. I tried to get him to join a gym, started packing his lunches and making sure I was cooking healthy dinners. He must be eating in secret because he has continued to gain weight.
I’m not proud of this but I was feeling insecure, not that it’s a good excuse. I don’t have a high libido but I do have a libido and a need for sex more often than every 6 months. I was beginning to wonder if he was getting it somewhere else. So when he was in the shower, I looked at his phone and noticed that he had Tinder on it. I opened Tinder and to my surprise, he was on there seeking men.
We had a ton of mutual friends back in college, after I had a class with one of his best friends. There has never been a hint that he is gay. He has always dated girls. No one said anything to me. He is a hunting, fishing, gun owning, outdoorsman. He is as straight seeming as it comes.
Knowing this, I assume that it may have been put on his phone by his buddies as a joke or something. So, I said something to him when he came out of the shower. He got incredibly angry with me for snooping, which I understand, and became very defensive when I asked about Tinder. We had a huge argument and nothing was really resolved. He insisted that he installed Tinder as a joke.
I let it go and a month or so went by. Then, in a moment of weakness, I snooped in his emails. In his deleted emails folder, I found several nude selfies that he sent to various men, replies to craigslists solicitations from men and several dick pics that I didn’t recognize. I confronted him again and he went apocalyptic on me.
After much yelling and crying, we calmed down and he told me that he likes to be penetrated and was afraid to tell me. That he only looked to hook up with men and that he never actually did anything. There was nothing that I found that was a smoking gun, so it lined up with what he was telling me. He said that he would masturbate thinking about getting pegged and that the ads helped with that fantasy but that he was not attracted to men. Thinking of my marriage, my daughter, my whole life, I accepted this and told him that I would be more than happy to indulge his fetish.
We did it and it was a little weird but he clearly enjoyed himself. I was careful to not be judgmental. I thought we were all good until a couple of days ago. His phone was sitting on the counter while he was upstairs and a notification went off. It was Tinder. I saw red and the next morning I called into work, pulled my daughter out of daycare and went to my parent’s house 2 hours away. He has been calling, crying, begging me to forgive him and insisting that he isn’t gay. He says that he gets off on the attention from guys but that he isn’t sexually attracted to them. I don’t believe him.
Do you think there could be any truth to what he is saying? Is this a normal thing that I am blowing out of proportion? Is there any reasonable way to look at this and think that he is telling me the truth? I don’t want to destroy my marriage, my life.
tl;dr: I'm almost certain my husband is gay and wont' admit it. Am I wrong for not wanting to work on my marriage and divorce immediately? library cat fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Oct 5, 2016
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Oct 5, 2016 19:15
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 14:59
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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Me [32F] with my husband [32M] of 10 years, I'm pretty sure my husband is gay but he insists he isn't. I think I want a divorce but I'm not certain. Can't talk to anyone about this, looking for advice.
Watch out lady, he's a bear!
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Oct 5, 2016 19:17
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Oct 5, 2016 16:53
PEPSI for TV-GAME
like all hell" is common advice on there.
