DOMDOM posted:

oh wait this response is better

or possibly one of you trolling, because jesus christ this dude cannot be for real

remigious posted:

I've never really had many female friends and I'm not proud of it, in fact it really bums me out.

HardDiskD posted:

but in general

quote:

This just happened. My mother asked me to wipe my younger half-brother's back because he sweats a lot. (He's asleep.) I refused to do it, which angered my mother because I "didn't want to do a simple request."

This isn't totally new. My mother expects me to wipe sweat off her back too or put lotion on it. (Why? Because she "can't" reach it. #newsflash: She can, she just doesn't want to.) I always refuse to do it because it makes me uncomfortable. She says it's totally normal. She also uses my refusal against me and mocks me, "I thought you wanted to be a doctor. How will you be able touch your patients if you can't even do what I'm asking?"

Am I wrong in thinking and feeling that her request is not normal at all?

EDIT: Just to add more context, my mother is the kind of person who walks around the house with only a white shirt on, no bra, and lady boxers. She likes to use the toilet and shower with the (common) bathroom door slightly ajar.

tl;dr: My mother asked me to wipe my teen brother's sweaty back. I said no. She thinks that it's a completely normal request, well I don't. Who's right?

china bot posted:

the real question is how did these two date for six years before something this basic came up

quote:

Background: I'm a former firefighter (CA) with PTSD. My fiancé and I have been together for seven years. We lived in New York, the incident happened in Pennsylvania.

My boyfriend and I had been residing in Queens. He worked retail while I was not healthy enough to work. I instead was in intensive treatment five days a week for physical and mental injuries suffered in the line of duty at my former career, he was my sole support. Part of my condition is intense flashbacks, anxiety, and dissassociative rage attacks. Think Toby Maguire in the movie "Two Brothers" where he's smashing the kitchen with a crowbar, PTSD is hell. In the worst of my episodes, I'd thrash in a hyperreal flashback, he'd try to hold me down to restrain me and get struck. It was terrible and I'm destroyed that I laid hands. However, this was not domestic abuse, no charges were ever filed, we always got me straight to a hospital and followed our crisis plan. Episodes were always reactive and not aggressive.

Treatment was making headway in 2015 and I was able to work in bouts. I was sexually assaulted by a coworker and completely shut down. Because I never pressed charges, he accused me of wanting it and cheating on him. We worked through it and tried to save the relationship. I was completely incapable of intimacy.

He got involved in an extracurricular activity that resembles mixed martial arts in full medieval armor (I call it extreme LARPing). In January, I had an anxiety attack, and instead of following our crisis plan, he straight hauled off and beat me senseless. We both calmed down, reconciled, no charges were filed. I took pictures. In April I had another anxiety attack, and he beat me up again to the point where I almost died. The background on that incident is that I had an anxiety attack, he tried to walk out on me, I leapt in the door crying for him not to leave, he right-crossed me hard and I grabbed onto him, I ended up grabbing his hair but I was not pulling, he forced me to the ground beating me ruthlessly as I was crying that I couldn't let go due to my body being locked in an anxiety attack, he bashed my head against cabinets, punched me, kicked me with steel-toed boots and smashed my face with a steel dog bowl. All of this locked my body in terror. He was able to end the attack by speaking in a lowered tone of voice and discontinuing his thrashing enough to let my hands relax and help me ease them out of his hair. He left and I jumped in a cab to the airport.
Immediately I got accepted into a PTSD treatment program that used Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, and it worked to eliminate symptoms over the course of three months. My boyfriend and I were in constant phone communication still trying to save our relationship. He insists that he had a right to hit me because women fight with him up at his medieval martial arts club and because I stood in the door preventing him from leaving. I have the texts. We were planning on reconciling again anyway. When treatment ended he became vicious over the phone about my return, which sent me into a suicidal depression and I ended up on an involuntary psychiatric hold. When I was released I returned to New York on my own and found another woman living with him in my apartment (they weren't there on my return). I met up with him three days later in public and confessed that I wasn't angry, and we STILL agreed to try to reconcile with time. He saw me the next day at home and we were intimate, however he became so overstressed that he quit his job and left New York to stay with family in PA. I have the texts. I remained in NYC to try to work for the last month of the lease. He came to visit me on weekends.

When the lease ended, I moved back to his hometown with my own family. He told me he was going back up to NYC one last time for a tournament and to get our belongings. He came to visit me beforehand and told me we would work on each other slowly. We texted affectionately all that night. The next morning he informed me from NY that he was bringing the other woman down to PA to live with him.

I freaked!

I admit I had a complete symptomatic mental break, I texted frantically crying and yelling, I msged her on Facebook threatening to "find her," profanities were thrown back and forth, I threatened suicide and ended up on a watch under the care of a licensed professional experienced in combat PTSD. I later apologized crying and desperate. I asked for my clothes back and he said he would "put them in a bag and throw them in the street," then he full-blocked me from all contact. I jumped in a cab and went to his house in PA to get my clothes in a panic. His brother came out threatening me, I called police and showed them pictures of the incident from April. The police had no jurisdiction and escorted me off the property. I went to his father's house to try to talk to his dad, and his brother drove there continuing to threaten me and had police escort me out of town on an illegal 24/hr ban. I explained my situation to the officer in the car and he told me he would have handled the situation differently if he knew beforehand.

Dazed and bewildered, I called his medieval martial arts club explaining (without naming him) that he'd become abusive after beginning their sport, and if they could please explain their mission statement to me. I wanted to know what they were teaching him up there that ruined our family. They wanted to expel him but I didn't name his name.

Six days later I was served with a summons for a PFA hearing. He'd attempted to file a Protection From Abuse order on me and been denied, but was granted a hearing. His sig was dated six days after the incident. He claimed that he'd left NY because I'd been physically and mentally abusive toward him in psychotic episodes and he was afraid of me, where the truth is that he left because we'd been intimate and he got overwhelmed (txt). He claims that I am mentally unstable and am not recieving treatment, though I am in treatment and have been for the last six years. We haven't been in contact for ten days. Before cutting off contact, he screamed at me that this is for "being with that scumbag Russian," and he also sent my cousin the same text that he was enraged that I had "been with that Russian." I have not returned to his house or tried to reach out to him.

What's true is that I did make written threats in the heat of the moment, but I apologized for them less than an hour later and clarified that they weren't death threats or violent and I was just very emotional and shocked. I'm still shocked. I did lay hands reactively in the heat of a PTSD episode but the last time that happened was three years ago and treatment has been working. I'm trying to have a lawyer fly out to help me Pro Hac Vice, I know he has an attorney and he's viciously trying to get me out of the picture not because he's afraid of me, but because he's mad that I called his club and so he can be with his side-project. Lawyers have assured me that he doesn't have a strong case and was even denied a PFA on the spot, but I'm still very worried and scared.

To summarize, my SO of seven years beat me, cheated on me, told me we were reconciling for months, planned to come get me, and moved in with the other woman less than 12 hours later. I couldn't handle it and broke, now he's trying to punish me for perceived infidelity and revenge.
Is he merited in his demands and will the court look favorably on him?

Tolkien minority posted:

legal advice, not relationships but

whole lotta crazy


her responses are also, you guessed it, crazy af
https://np.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5603nt/unfaithful_ex_boyfriend_attempting_to_file_a/

remigious posted:

I'll be your goon friend

Gaunab posted:

That's just sad

remigious posted:

I'll be your goon friend

HardDiskD posted:

wanna go out and get some beers?

quote:

So... my (25f) husband (26m) and I have been married a year. I'm a big fan of anime, have been since I was really little.

My husband watches porn, and I'm totally fine with it. I gave up porn awhile ago after watching it for years because it didn't really give me the feeling I wanted to have sexually speaking, but to each their own. No judgements.

Recently a friend told me to try out this game she liked called mystic messenger. It's just a dating simulation game with anime characters, not sexual, pretty harmless. The characters just say their bits and you only have two possible responses at any given time. It just simulates the fun of dating and meeting new people without actually dating real people.

I started playing it and really liked it. My husband tends to look through my phone while it's charging in the living room (don't know why, but it doesn't bother me), and asked me about the weird "texts" I was getting. I laughed and told him they weren't real people, and showed him the game. He seemed fine with it. Later though he went to bed sulking though and later began texting me that he doesn't want to be with me any more because he's just someone for me to trash on and I should just go be with my "dating app" because I never listen or give a poo poo about him anyway. He then indicated that our relationship wasn't right for him and he wanted to break up (he's said this many times before when he was upset about something I was doing, but never went through with it).

This problem popped up so suddenly I feel pretty certain it was because of this app, we havent fought in months. I didn't really think I was doing anything wrong, these are just fake characters in a game. It stimulates me romantically in a way I find pleasurable, but it's just a fantasy. I have sexual and romantic fantasies about men in movies and tv shows I like all the time, as Im sure my husband does (for women that is). So I feel like there might be deeper issues here, but my husband is very closed down emotionally and I'm not sure what's really bothering him (nor would he ever say, he makes fun of me when I try to ask personal questions). Should I take his "break up" seriously, or pretend it never happened?

tl;dr: Started playing an anime dating simulaton game, then my husband broke up with me. Did I do something wrong?

Tolkien minority posted:

legal advice, not relationships but

whole lotta crazy


her responses are also, you guessed it, crazy af
https://np.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5603nt/unfaithful_ex_boyfriend_attempting_to_file_a/

Haifisch posted:

Me [24F] with my mother [61F], she asked me to wipe my younger half-brother's [14M] sweaty back. I said no and now she's pissed at me.Non-Romantic

Jack Trades posted:

My (25f) Husband (26m) broke up with me because I started playing Mystic Messenger.


Someone's being very insecure.

HardDiskD posted:

wanna go out and get some beers?

Jack Trades posted:

My (25f) Husband (26m) broke up with me because I started playing Mystic Messenger.


Someone's being very insecure.

Dial-a-Dog posted:

If anyone was curious https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.Cheritz.MysticMessenger

That husband is hilariously insecure, and it's always gross when I read one of these stories where one party regularly looks through the other's phone, I don't care if they say they're OK with it

Redmanred posted:

Anime claims another relationship. This is why Japan doesn't have em anymore.

Tolkien minority posted:

I mean, you have to realize this is an incredibly biased account from someone who is quite obviously insane in which they still admit to stalking and harassing their ex/his new gf

remigious posted:

Yeah! I'm near Denver.

Captain Yossarian posted:

Which one of you sexy, virile goons wants to wipe my loving disgusting, malformed back?

Tolkien minority posted:

whole lotta crazy

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Holy poo poo I cannot believe someone got that mad about being asked to sit down and drink alcohol for 3 minutes.

china bot posted:

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

The guy who flipped out because his GF asked him to watch her purse while she used the bathroom at the bar.

china bot posted:

Exactly, how did this situation never occur in the 6 prior years of dating

quote:

Hello, relationships! Long time lurker first time poster.

So I know the title sounds like a joke but bear with me. Yesterday my husband and I were lounging in bed. I mention this next part because perhaps it is relevant? He seemed to be going in the sex direction where I was on the fence (kinda wanted to but was also kinda sick).

At one point he joked that the way he was laying made it seem like he wanted to be spanked and I gave him a little playful one. A few minutes past and I joke (it fit into the jokes we were making though I can't remember what dumb thing we were talking about) that I am much more spankable than he. He got very upset and buried his face in his arms and said I insulted his butt. I DID feel bad that he felt bad so I told him that I did not mean his butt was not spankable or not a good butt. What I meant is that I enjoy spanking and he does not, so spanking him would garner no rewards only sadness at being spanked. He then rolled over turned the lights off and said he was going to bed.

I aplolgiezed for what I said (an actual one not ones of those 'sorry you took it that way') and tried cuddling with him to make him feel better but ever since then he's pretty much ignored me and just went off to take a nap without even telling me (which he doesn't need to but it be nice to know that I was being suddenly left alone).

Now I can only think of two reasons why he might be upset. 1. he thinks that I actually DID mean to insult his butt and the 'but you don't like spanking' thing was just a cover. Or 2. he secretly likes spanking and he was trying to tell me but then my comment made him upset because he thought I was spank shaming him or something?

If it's the first one I think my problem is I legit don't understand how what I said insults his butt at all. Any but can be spanked and as a man his butt is larger than mine so should be physically more spankable!If you think this is the case please explain it to me. If its the second one then I am a little bit annoyed because when we started our relationship he specifically told me he DID NOT like spanking, this since I am not a mind reader I believed him. I am inclined to think this might be it because he also told me he didn't like being bitten (which I had done the night before and so I stopped biting him) and then a few months ago got mad at me because I couldn't tell 'from his body language' that he clearly wanted me to bit him.

What really annoys me is that not too long ago I asked him if he could stop saying I was bad in bed at stuff while we were having sex. I was pretty much a noob at sex when we started and am still nervous when I try new things but I try to do things he'll like. The reason I asked is because when I tried 'being in charge' he laughed and said I was bad at it (I knew he was being playful but it still hurt) and another time I tried dirty taking and he laughed again and said 'wow you're trying so hard'. He said he shouldn't have to do that because he shouldn't have to be apart of something he doesn't enjoy. Which...fair enough, that parts right but he can certainly stop me without doing something I said hurts my feelings. I'm totally okay being told I need to improve on stuff, everyone has something they could improve on, I just want a different method. Anyways this paragraph is mostly me venting on why I'm so angry the other ones are the important ones.

Can you guys help me figure out this butt issue before it explodes into a big fight?

tl;dr: Husband ignoring me after he thinks I insulted his butt. I find this especially annoying as he's often a bit mean to me in bed.

quote:

There was a graduate sharing session earlier, and I was running late. When I opened the door to the seminar room, the graduate coordinator seemed to be midway through his opening speech, and for some weird reason everyone went quiet and all heads turned to stare at me. It was a very awkward feeling that told me something was wrong and it hadn't anything to do with my tardiness. After I settled down in my seat my friend nudged me and told me she'd talk to me later.

So during the reception lunch, everyone was still staring at me and whispering, and there was an odd feeling of unease in the air even when fellow students came to talk to me. My friend finally pulled me aside and told me that when the graduate coordinator (Prof L) was trying to access his slides for the opening speech, he accidentally clicked on a file titled "Photos" and there were hundreds of photos of me in the folder - close-ups of me smiling, laughing, thinking and photos of me and him smiling at each other during a publicity photoshoot for the school (we were both recipients of awards).

I'm really confused and not sure what to think. Yeah I had a crush on Prof L, but I thought my impression of it being mutual attraction was a delusion on my part. The other Profs have been looking at me weirdly since the incident, and I don't think it could have reflected well on either of us. What do I do next? Should I talk to Prof L?

tl;dr: I found out today that Professor keeps a folder with photos of me

Edit: Thanks for all the advice! I realized I hadn't got all the information I needed, so I checked back with my friends and they told me:

The photo folder was pretty large judging from the size of the scrollbar and there was a "showing x out of y items" indication at the bottom of the folder. So they could only be sure that the 60 (?) photos they saw were of me.

Most of the photos were candid photos of me taken at various school events (different clothes, hairstyle, & makeup), some were the photos I submitted years ago for administrative and other purposes (e.g., school website), so they think he could have searched for and compiled all my photos into the folder.

I liked him but I think my crush on him is officially over, because this incident reminds me too much of a stalker I had in high school.

However, I think he is a good Professor, so I don't want him fired either.