Nazzadan posted:

Are there any funny parts scattered in the sadness?

quote:

I have been friends with “Sam” since we were both in primary school. Over the years friends have come and gone but we’ve generally always stayed close, always making time to catch up even when we lived in different parts of the country for university. We’ve helped each other through some tough times and he’s honestly like a brother to me and I’ve always thought he felt the same way.

We’ve lived in the same city since finishing Uni and he’s a part of my friend group, although he also has a group of friends he goes to football matches with who I’ve only met a few times. A few years ago Sam introduced me to his cousin “Gareth” at a party Sam was hosting and we hit it off straight away. Sam and Gareth are friendly but not that close due to their age difference, I’ve encouraged them to hang out more but neither really kept it up beyond family engagements and when we all hang together. A year ago Gareth proposed to me, and we’ve set our wedding for February.

Now here’s the problem, initially Sam told us that he would be attending, which was never in doubt, we’re having our wedding on a Saturday in the city we live in and most of his family are coming. However a week ago he called to tell me that he had got a ticket for an away football game on that day and that it was an important game considering that his team are currently among the favourites to win the league and going up against a key title rival in the match. He said that his friend had gone through a lot of trouble to get the ticket for him and that he felt like it would be rude for him not to attend.

I’m beyond furious with him now, and I don’t know if I can forgive him for this. I could understand possibly if he had already booked the tickets or if he had a different kind of important engagement but the fact that he just blew me off for a league football game is insulting. Should I try to get his family to persuade him to change his mind or just cut him out of my life?

TL;DR Best friend cancelled on my wedding to go to a football match, how should I handle it?

quote:

A guy (24M) on tumblr is sending my (21M) girlfriend (18F) memes

I started dating my girlfriend back in January. She's extremely cute and funny and smart and a great match for me. She tells me she loves me every day and has told me before that she believes we have a future together.

I found out early on in the relationship that she has a friend, we'll call Gabe, that she met through tumblr who predates me. Gabe is obese and balding. He is your typical 'nice guy' - loves memes, vidya, and hitting on girls out of his league. At first I thought Gabe was just an innocent follower on tumblr, but it turns out he flirts with my girlfriend by sending her cutsie memes.

A few months into the relationship, I noticed that she was texting him more throughout the day than me. I got pretty upset by this and told her how I felt. She told me she would stop talking to him if it really upset me that much. I told her I didnt want to be a control freak and I wanted to trust her. She told me she didnt talk to him very much and I shouldnt be worried.

A couple days after that conversation, I noticed that Gabe had added me on Steam. He told Hannah that my bio was all lies (it stated that I am an indie game designer who plays video games more than making them, which is the truth). My bio also said that I lived in Washington DC, which was a lie because I stream on Twitch and don't want some weird fanboy figuring out where I live and murdering me while I sleep.

I saw this as an act of trying to break Hannah and I up. I told Hannah about it and she agreed with me that it was strange. She didnt know how he added me either. Then it hit me: Gabe fits the stalker profile. I told Hannah that she probably shouldn't talk to Gabe anymore and she told me she would block his number and facebook.

Everything was sailing smoothly for a few months, until last night. I was playing Overwatch and I got invited to a party. It was Gabe. I didnt know it at first because I didnt recognize the username. I only found out after I finished playing because I had Hannah over, who had been reading a book in my bed. She got a message on tumblr saying "I was just playing Overwatch with Zentiro." I asked who it was and she told me: Gabe. I asked her how he was still messaging her, and she told me she hadn't blocked him on tumblr because she needed more followers and reblogs. I made the mistake of going through their messages. He was still sending her memes, and she would send him minimalist replies and memes. I also noticed the times and dates of the messages; they would talk all day, every day. She told me she doesnt talk to him that much.

I told her I was upset and am having trouble trusting her at the moment, and sent her home. How concerned should I really be?

I believe that she doesnt take his memes as flirting, but as a guy, I can tell that they are meant to be.

TL;DR: Memes are ruining my relationship

gentle pete posted:

quote:

I told her I was upset and am having trouble trusting her at the moment, and sent her home. How concerned should I really be?

quote:

So my monster-in-law [50sF] and I [23F] haven't ever really gotten along in the last 5 years. My husband and I just got married a few months ago and now it's time to send out thank you cards. I have no idea how to thank such a horrible woman. I tend to blab, so I'm apologizing in advance. New account since my husband knows my main one.

To give background on the wedding planning... MIL wouldn't get off of my back about going wedding dress shopping, but this was a thing I only wanted to share with my mom and no one else. So we went shopping on days that we knew MIL worked (I know.. Bad start to the wedding planning, but after the years of dealing with this woman, even my mom didn't want her around). So eventually we picked out a dress and she NEEDED to know what it looked like. I sent her pictures of all the dresses that I tried on, but didn't like. My dress was a secret to everyone until they saw me in it on our wedding day, so this wasn't just treatment towards her. She basically harassed me and eventually dropped the situation.

Next, with the wedding 9 months away, she begged me to let her bake the cake. First of all, she doesn't cook. Ever. She eats food out of the frozen foods isle just to have something she can stick in the oven and be on her way. Plus she hasn't cleaned her house in almost 30 years. Her form of cleaning is "opening all the doors in the house and letting the air blow the dust away." Her kitchen is full of flies and expired foods.. So me being the neat-freak that I am, this wasn't going to happen. Plus our venue was providing a free cake any style we chose. I let my husband handle this argument so I wouldn't get on her bad side. He suggested cupcakes since we were already getting a cake to which she responded "cupcakes are for kid's birthday parties" and was extremely insulted that he would offer such an idea!

Since day 1, she was asking to make the centerpieces for all of our tables. I seriously considered this one at first until she decided she wanted to put candles in a bowl with some confetti and be done with it. Now I'm in no way, shape, or form a rich girl, but my husband and I were planning a cinderella-ish fairytale wedding. We booked a castle and were planning a black tie event, live band, etc. I tried to tell her as politely as possible that my mom and I were shopping and stumbled upon something really cute. We were still working out the details. When we figured out what we were doing, we asked her to help us make them.. She was overly ecstatic and rushed over every chance she got until my mom insulted her... Buckle your seatbelts for this one! MIL started yelling at my mom one morning because my mom called my husband by his shortened version of his name. Since the day I met him, I've always called him, let's say, "Ben." That's how he introduced himself to my mom and all of my friends. Well she flipped out in a screaming match that his name is "Benjamin," "he can't be called Ben because that's his grandfather's name. He will always be a BENJAMIN!" My mom tried to politely tell her that he was introduced as Ben and will always be a Ben to her because that's what he chose to be called. Next thing you know, she storms out of the house, refuses to come back, and now we're stuck doing the centerpieces without her. (Later, she took all the credit for them and told everyone that they were free to take after the wedding was over. She took 4 for herself.)

Bridal shower - my husband and I had registries at two different places. We discussed everything that we wanted in our house and chose it based off of our style. Normal. MIL kept arguing with my husband about getting the toaster oven that she has in her house. That's all fine and dandy, but when he and I discussed it (we actually had a debate over it since I've never owned a toaster oven before), we decided on a smaller style because at the time, we didn't have a house and didn't know how much counter space we would have. She flipped out and refused to help my mom plan the bridal shower just because of that. So what does she do? She buys the cheapest present on the list and says it was the only thing left on the registry (not true). I don't care what she buys, I would have actually preferred her to not bring anything. This one didn't bother me as much as it bothered my husband. He told me that she bought over $400 worth of crystal for his cousin's wedding and didn't buy anything for her son (since the bridal shower is presents for both of us, not just me). And on top of that, she forced grandma to buy us the big toaster oven.

Rehearsal. MIL walks in pissed off and refuses to put a smile on. Our priest has never met her, so he asks who she is and then says "oh! Congratulations on your new, almost daughter-in-law!" To which she responds with a very loud huff and turning her head. The priest brushes it off and continues talking very sweetly to her cold shoulder and can't get a response out of her. So he drops it and walks away. Rehearsal finishes and she comes up to my husband and I, grabs his arm, drags him out the door, and takes him for a walk. She left us all standing outside waiting to drive together to the dinner for about a half an hour. Now it's really pressing on time, so I ask the best man to go find him and bring him back. This was the only time that I broke down crying in front of everyone from all the stress she caused. When she came back, she had a smug look on her face.

Rehearsal dinner. We booked a private room in a restaurant and had all the seating arranged so we could sit next to each other with no arguments. MIL gets there first because FIL dropped her and grandma out front while we all found parking next to each other. She rearranges to tables so that way she could sit in a corner and not be apart of the party then proceeds to tell my brother-in-law what a rotten witch I am.. Nice.

Wedding ceremony. I didn't pay any attention to her whatsoever. My eyes were focused on my husband and not screwing up the 45 minute ceremony. Afterwards, we did the line where everyone says congratulations to you before getting in the cars to go to the dinner. She was one of the last people to walk by and instantly gives my husband a hug. That's understandable. He should get the biggest hug from her. Then she proceeds to walk out the door. My husband grabs her arm, and forces her to hug me. I brush it off and say how thankful I am for everything she did (starting the centerpieces? Woooo!) thinking that will get her to cheer up a bit. She didn't even try to make the hug look real, and gave me a pissed face as she walked out the door. Real smooth.

Wedding. MIL only danced with my husband for the mother-son dance and every time she saw me watching, she just turned her head. He said she kept asking if she'll ever see him again to which he responded "it depends how tonight goes." Obviously that didn't change her mind about how she wanted to treat the both of us. MIL loves to dance. She's awful at it, but it makes her happy. I mentioned it to my husband and he turned to me and flat out said "she made her decision." So we ignored her for the rest of the night and had our fun time.

Now we keep hearing stories from our guests saying all the rude things she did to each and every one of them. We got our photos back and don't have a single smiling one of her and FIL caught off guard. Even the posed ones. Our photographer tried to hard to make her smile and she wouldn't even budge.

So after all my blabbing, my question is: how do I go about writing a sincere thank you. The rest of my husband's family is getting a very sweet and personalized message. I'm honestly debating on sending her the photo and being done with it. I'm one of those people that has to be honest in order to write something and there is nothing to thank her for. "Thank you for being a b****. Our wedding was so memorable with you around." Haha

TL;DR - My monster-in-law was so rude throughout the wedding process that I can't think of a nice way to say thank you in the card.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

drat buddy

HardDiskD posted:

Long-ish one but I liked it.

I [23F] need to write a wedding thank you to my monster-in-law [50sF] who has been nothing but rude. I don't know how to proceed.

HardDiskD posted:

My [25F] best friend since childhood [25M] is skipping my wedding (to his cousin [31M]) to go to a football match

gentle pete posted:

gentle pete posted:

Regulation Size posted:

I will never understand the compulsion to keep barely acquainted, obviously pining losers on the line when they start interfering with your life, especially when they are internet-only.

Gaunab posted:

Some people like attention.

Regulation Size posted:

I will never understand the compulsion to keep barely acquainted, obviously pining losers on the line when they start interfering with your life, especially when they are internet-only.

quote:

This is a tale as old as time on this subreddit, but I searched and I feel like no one has been in my exact situation, and I feel like I'm really in a pickle, so I thought I would make a throwaway account and ask.

Alright. I've been dating this guy for the past 11 months and started regularly living in his apartment around 3 months ago (he gave me a key and formally asked me to move in). I still have an apartment of my own that the lease hasn't run out on yet that is slightly closer to my university so sometimes I'll just crash at my place instead of making the trek to his place.

With that said.... two nights ago after working way longer than I thought, I get back to his place around 11, open the door and right on his large screen monitor is pornhub and a paused video. I just stood there in shock in the doorway.... he was in the kitchen and I guess didn't know he left the screen up so I yelled "UHH [boyfriend name]!" His only response was closing the window quickly and saying "oh this is awkward." I was immediately hurt ... though we never talked about it, I thought that our sex life was pretty freaking great, we do it at least every other day...

But that's even besides the point. I've never had to think about it before because I have never had this issue with previous boyfriends and I wouldn't care if I didn't know about it, but now that I do its tearing me apart. I haven't been able to sleep at all these past few days. Just thinking about him looking at porn makes my heart sink and my stomach churn. However, I've been trying to keep up an act that I don't care about it so it doesn't make him feel bad. In other words, I don't want to talk about it with him because I don't want to make him feel bad for doing something that every male has done.

So, in conclusion, the dilemma is that I know he is watching porn (and he knows that I know he watches porn), I am uncomfortable with it, but I don't want to bring it up to him because I don't want to be a controlling bitch girlfriend that makes him feel bad. How do I get over this or bring this up to him gently?

tl;dr: I saw porn on BF computer, now we're both awkward and I'm uncomfortable/depressed; how do I talk to him about it?

DOMDOM posted:

Porn jealousy strikes again, A TALE AS OLD AS TIME.

quote:

I feel like no one has been in my exact situation

HardDiskD posted:

Long-ish one but I liked it.

I [23F] need to write a wedding thank you to my monster-in-law [50sF] who has been nothing but rude. I don't know how to proceed.

quote:

Why does my girlfriend [19F] like to hit me [19 M] in the groin, is this common?

My girlfriend is kind of a tomboy and likes to wrestle and play rough. That's fine, but when were cuddling or wrestling for instance, she likes to punch or knee me in my nuts... But usually after that she gets sexually aroused and we have sex, which I like. She does stuff for me too but... I've only been with her for a few months...

She's not that strong btw but obviously it hurts like hell.

TL;DR Does this turn woman on or is this a fetish of hers? Normal?

DOMDOM posted:

Porn jealousy strikes again, A TALE AS OLD AS TIME.

So, in conclusion, the dilemma is that I know he is watching porn (and he knows that I know he watches porn), I am uncomfortable with it, but I don't want to bring it up to him because I don't want to be a controlling bitch girlfriend that makes him feel bad. How do I get over this or bring this up to him gently?

Pick posted:

A lot of people do want to be nice and feel bad when they cut people off when they haven't really "transgressed".

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Why does my girlfriend [19F] like to hit me [19 M] in the groin, is this common?

Rondette posted:

I was pretty upset but she was a cranky old lady who never really seemed to warm to me in any meaningful way so I just tried my best to brush it off. Turns out she was on to something anyway as the marriage barely lasted 2 years.

Jack Trades posted:

Some dudes will pay top dollar for that.

She's a dominatrix in the making, is what I'm trying to say. Good for her.

Jack Trades posted:

"I want to be a controlling bitch girlfriend but I want to pretend that I'm not. Help."

FreudianSlippers posted:

If this thread has taught me anything is that a lot of grown rear end people are actually insecure children on the inside.

FreudianSlippers posted:

If this thread has taught me anything is that a lot of grown rear end people are actually insecure children on the inside.

Panfilo posted:

People having issues with porn should be proportional to their sex life. I don't think it's unreasonable a woman be upset her boyfriend watches porn all the time but doesn't want to have sex much - it's not necessarily an insecurity on her part.

Pick posted:

That said, I think men and women both need to be aware that in a world where body image is constantly under assault, people are sensitive to suggestions that they are ugly or undesirable.

HardDiskD posted:

I mean, sucks that your marriage only lasted 2 years but this picture is hilarious.

Rondette posted:

Eh, I've moved on and am in a much better relationship now (with a kid on the way too in about 3 weeks woo) so yeah it is funny to me now too. It pretty much sums up what my relationship with her was like TBH.

Jack Trades posted:

Everyone would be so much happier if they just accepted the fact that they're all ugly fuckers, with beer guts, flappy asses and back acne, and that 90% of the world are too.

HardDiskD posted:

I hope you have a better MIL now and congrats on all accounts.