Antivehicular posted:

I can only assume the fiancee is shooting for a Miss Havisham theme wedding and needs to age the cake.

I also really like the bit where the fiancee has done all this elaborate planning and yet blanked on the one thing the OP actually wanted her to do (order the OP's wedding jewelry as they'd agreed). It's like the perfect touch of "I really don't care what you want" on top of the general "gently caress you, this is my special day, and if I have to make you a dude to fulfill my dreams, so be it."

Gaunab posted:

quote:

My boyfriend (22y) wouldn't pull over for me to pee (F21y)

I'm pretty torn how to handle this situation and would really like some advice. Boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 7 months now and since the beginning of our relationship, he has always been a little controlling, and I think most of it stemmed from his dad being an rear end in a top hat for most of childhood. Anyway, his controlling behavior was never hurtful up until this point.

His parent's house is about an hour and a half away from ours, and every few weekends we drive up there to visit. The drive up was fine, but at their house I had a considerable amount of water to drink. I had used the bathroom about 20 minutes before leaving, but with all the water I had to drink, about 15 minutes into the ride home I desperately needed to pee again.

I told my BF and asked if we could stop at the closest place with a bathroom. He tried to convince me to hold it, and I unwillingly agreed, knowing well that I probably wouldn't be able to wait until we got home.

Fast forward another 35 minutes or so and I was in complete pain, to the point of tears in my eyes, at this point begging my BF to just pull over. He kept telling me that I could hold it and then he really didn't feel like pulling over, as it would take too much time and he had things to do.

I somehow miraculously managed to hold on until we got home but I was barely even able to get out of the car due to being in so much pain. I wasn't even able to pee as soon as I got to the bathroom because my body was holding it for so long. I'm wondering if this could start a pattern of abuse, and i'm really unsure of how to approach the situation by bringing up how hurt I was.

TL;DR really had to pee on drive home, BF wouldn't pull over for me, possibly abusive behavior?

quote:

My boyfriend (22y) wouldn't pull over for me to pee (F21y)

I'm pretty torn how to handle this situation and would really like some advice. Boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 7 months now and since the beginning of our relationship, he has always been a little controlling, and I think most of it stemmed from his dad being an rear end in a top hat for most of childhood. Anyway, his controlling behavior was never hurtful up until this point.

His parent's house is about an hour and a half away from ours, and every few weekends we drive up there to visit. The drive up was fine, but at their house I had a considerable amount of water to drink. I had used the bathroom about 20 minutes before leaving, but with all the water I had to drink, about 15 minutes into the ride home I desperately needed to pee again.

I told my BF and asked if we could stop at the closest place with a bathroom. He tried to convince me to hold it, and I unwillingly agreed, knowing well that I probably wouldn't be able to wait until we got home.

Fast forward another 35 minutes or so and I was in complete pain, to the point of tears in my eyes, at this point begging my BF to just pull over. He kept telling me that I could hold it and then he really didn't feel like pulling over, as it would take too much time and he had things to do.

I somehow miraculously managed to hold on until we got home but I was barely even able to get out of the car due to being in so much pain. I wasn't even able to pee as soon as I got to the bathroom because my body was holding it for so long. I'm wondering if this could start a pattern of abuse, and i'm really unsure of how to approach the situation by bringing up how hurt I was.

TL;DR really had to pee on drive home, BF wouldn't pull over for me, possibly abusive behavior?

Pelvic Floor Wax posted:

Haha, never! Y'all would be surprised how many relationships survive or get better after cheating, it's just no one walks around bragging about that.

Leon Einstein posted:

I know a woman who found out that her husband was having an 8 month affair in the first year of their marriage. She just took him back and her FB posts make me wanna puke. God told her to take him back apparently.

quote:

[22/F] My boyfriend [23/M] gave me chlamydia and is now angry because we can't have sex for a week.

This might get a little gross in detail I apologize in advance <3 I guess I just need to vent to someone and get some sort of advice on how to handle this.

Before me, my boyfriend "R" slept with a lot of girls. Apparently without condoms. He told me if he knew the girl, he didn't use a condom (Because girls that he knows somehow can't get pregnant or have STI's idfk what his logic was behind that), and if it was a random hookup or one night stand with someone that he didn't know, then he used a condom. I don't know why but I'm feeling skeptical about him ever using a condom at all, with any girl regardless of if he knew her or not, but that's just me.

I didn't use condoms either, but I was only with 3 guys before him, I made sure they got tested and I got myself tested before I had sex with them. With R however I forgot to do that. He told me that he had a chlamydia scare months ago, got tested, it came back negative/he only had a UTI, so he assumed he was fine. He then slept with another girl after that, and then 3 months later him and I got together. So either the test results were wrong, or that one girl he slept with between then and now gave him chlamydia. But either way, I now have it. I was always uneasy with the amount of unprotected sex he had with random girls before me, but instead of nagging him to get tested I just pushed it to the back of my mind. My biggest mistake I know.

I showed symptoms a while ago, at first I thought it was a yeast infection, but once I started bleeding from my lady parts I went into full panic mode and googled my symptoms, and sure enough I had every symptoms of chlamydia/gonorrhea. When I told him I was 99% sure I had an STI he felt really bad about it, because he knew exactly why I had it. He apologized constantly, he spent a whole week doing whatever to make it up to me, he paid for my medication, rubbed my back when I felt sick, he was kicking himself in the rear end for not being more careful, told me he thought that was only something that happened to other people, etc etc. I wasn't that angry with him, and I didn't yell at him, I just told him that I was disappointed that he didn't take better care of himself before me, and that I was disappointed in myself for not trusting my gut instinct and making him get tested before we had unprotected sex.

So we went to a medical clinic, we both got antibiotics for chlamydia, and I got a pap test/STI/STD test the next day while he was at work. We were told to avoid sex for 7 days after taking the treatment in order to avoid recontaminating each other. We only managed to go 6.5 days, because we're both dumbasses.

I got a yeast infection afterwards because of the antibiotics, and I got treated for that, but I started showing symptoms AGAIN at the start of this week and I figured either I have a stubbourn yeast infection that won't go away or the chlamydia is back, and I got a little scared. I got a call this morning from the medical clinic, and they told me I tested positive for chlamydia, but negative for everything else, and they wanted me and R to go back this afternoon to get re-treated even though we've already been treated. Because I'm showing symptoms again, I agreed and made us the appointment.

When I told R, his response was "Ugh. I'm not going 7 days without sex again." and then "We already got treated. We're fine." and I got a little snappy with him and said that he wasn't the one showing symptoms last time, he wasn't the one suffering last time, I was, and now I'm showing symptoms again, and I am NOT going through all of this one more time just because he can't keep it in his pants and we are going to get re-treated whether he likes it or not. He agreed and said "Fair point" but then he said "I don't wanna go another week without sex -_-" and now I just... I don't know what to say or do.

It's just really bothering and upsetting me. He's pissed off because he has to go another week with just handjobs, all because HE gave ME an STI. The last time we did this song and dance, that's all he had to go through, the only suffering he had to endure was going 6 days without sex. Meanwhile, I was the one who was sick, who was in so much discomfort I couldn't even pee without wanting to cry, I couldn't sleep at night because my lady parts hurt so bad. He had 0 symptoms, I had all of the symptoms you could possibly have with chlamydia, but yet he's the one who is suffering.

What the hell do I do? We wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for him. Do I explain to him that his behaviour and response is hurting me? Do I tell him to suck it up and wait a week? Or do I just tell him to go back to his fuckbuddies if sex is so important to him? At this point I'm so mad I could probably hit him.

I feel so dirty... I never thought I would get an STI...

tl;dr: BF gave me chlamydia that he contracted before we met. He showed 0 symptoms. I had the symptoms. We both got treated, I got an STI/STD test, and were supposed to wait 7 days before having sex. We waited 6. I'm showing symptoms again. The test came back positive for chlamydia. I told him we're going to get retreated again. He's pissed off because he has to go another 7 days without sex. I'm pissed off because I was the one showing symptoms last time, while he had 0 symptoms, and yet he's upset that we can't have sex because HE gave ME an STI.

Pick posted:

I used to date exclusively women, but switched over to dating men. Im at the brink of switching back.

Pick posted:

I used to date exclusively women, but switched over to dating men. Im at the brink of switching back. People go back and forth sometimes and caring about strict categories kind of seems like a waste of time.

Leon Einstein posted:

I know a woman who found out that her husband was having an 8 month affair in the first year of their marriage. She just took him back and her FB posts make me wanna puke. God told her to take him back apparently.

Leon Einstein posted:

The guy is an rear end in a top hat, but she's just as guilty of having unprotected sex.

Regulation Size posted:

i feel good for the Chlamydia trachomatis in that story, knowing it will have a long and prolific life at the hands of those two morons.

quote:

We've been married for 5+ years and it was so wonderful and fun in the beginning. Recently he's developed a borderline obsession with Curb Your Enthusiasm - a show about Larry David. The main character is always worried and stressed out. Constantly finding himself in awkward social situations.

His instances of "socially awkward situations" began to significantly increase and it's embarrassing to witness.
- Friends of ours had a child and he dropped the baby on the floor.
- He offended a co-worker publicly by saying that she wasn't good at her job.
- He borrowed a frisbee and threw it into the woods but refused to look for it because he didn't want to get poison ivy.
- He asked for a ride to buy beer then when it came time to pay he didn't have his wallet.
- He scratched his chest hair then tried to give people cheese slices with his hands.

We had a difficult conversation the other night. I told him that we are growing apart and not communicating. I said to him that his Larry David moments aren't sexy and I want him to change. It really threw him for a loop and he said he was sorry. But ultimately he hasn't done anything to change his behavior. We went out for sushi with friends and he started doing the Larry David thing at the restaurant.

- Made a big deal about a miscommunication with the Japanese waitress.
- Asked what other people wanted to order then said that he didn't like that food.
- Decided he didn't want to leave a tip and demanded to know what everyone else was tipping.

What advice would you offer in this situation? I can honestly say that acting like Larry David is making his life worse and I don't want to be around him anymore. I don't know how to help him see the light.
tl;dr - husband acts like Larry David. asked him to stop acting like Larry David, he hasn't changed and I can't stand it anymore.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My husband [34 M] acts like Larry David and I want him to stop

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My husband [34 M] acts like Larry David and I want him to stop

loquacius posted:

Also I think most people who are gay with an exception just settle on "queer" as a label for themselves after a while, although I know admittedly little about how the average lesbian social circle would respond to this

Tender Bender posted:

Did he drop the baby on purpose or did he do it by accident but then start doing a bit when everyone was upset? I don't really get it.

Troposphere posted:

very poorly unfortunately

Naerasa posted:

Do lesbians just hate bisexual people or something? What does it matter what label you use?

Troposphere posted:

I mean she talked about it in the post, a lot of them view it as being a traitor or whatever

I don't think it's necessarily just lesbians, probably gay men too but I can't speak for them

the gay community can be real judgmental because they've been hurt and burned because of being gay and it's hard not to get pulled into that sometimes

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My husband [34 M] acts like Larry David and I want him to stop

quote:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and have lived together for one year. I've been a vegetarian since I was eleven years old through my own choice, no one else in my family is veggie. My bf eats meat. Although my dream, ideal partner probably would be a vegetarian, I view this as a Dan Savage 'price of admission' for an otherwise great guy.

Usually we cook veggie meals and he adds meat to them. If he wants a meal where that doesn't work, we just cook our own things and eat them together. The cooking works out to about 50/50 and so does the cleaning, so I don't think the problem is with that. He eats meat most days, I have no problem with meat in the flat. I won't cook it, that's all, cause it grosses me out. Meat pizzas and stuff like that I don't mind, but nothing than involves really touching the meat.

Recently he's been really obsessed with my vegetarianism in a way he never had before - he's always made stupid jokes but that's a better reaction than a lot of people. He's proper grilled me about it around four times in the past fortnight. Anyone who's been veggie know how annoying those constant conversations are. He's started genuinely saying that its stupid, unhealthy, hipster, all that stuff. I've shown him the studies saying vegetarians usually live longer, that a veggie and even vegan diet is accepted unanimously by dieticians as just as healthy as a meat one - he just doesn't accept it. He has a far worse diet than I do! I don't snack, don't eat fast food, don't have sugary drinks and he does all the time. (We're both slim however.) He's been asking if I'd ever quit a lot too. I'd like to point out that I never bring my vegetarianism up in conversation because usually people just try to lecture you. Whenever we talk about it, he brings it up.

Now, there's been a handful of times in the past few weeks when he'll cook a meal for us and I'll notice that it's not vegetarian. Some examples:
He made spag bol saying it was quorn when it just obviously wasn't. They don't look the same. When I pointed this out, he just laughed and said it was a brain fart and he forgot - which, okay, whatever, I guess that could happen.

He gave me a sandwich with ham on it (another mistake, apparently, since he was making us both them and just put the ham on both, despite this never having been a problem before).

He made himself a bacon butty and asked if I wanted an egg one. I say yes and when I walk into the kitchen he's using the same pan that he'd used for bacon. He said he didn't know this was a problem when he 100% did because he always swapped pans before this. And it's not about the washing up, because when he cooks, I wash up and the other way around.

He made chicken enchiladas and told me they were veggie. Luckily I saw the chicken when I cut it in half. Same excuses: an honest mistake.

I thus far haven't accidentally eaten any meat. I've been cooking for myself for the past week, but he keeps offering to cook for both of us. Am I just being paranoid? The idea of him sneaking meat into my food seems crazy but it really seems like he is! Why would he even bother to do that??

tl;dr: Boyfriend has become aggressive towards my vegetarianism and I think he's trying to sneak meat into my food.

quote:

So after posting, I stuck to only eating food I'd made and my bf got more and more antsy about cooking for me. I sat him down the next day and asked him the same stuff: if he had a problem with my vegetarianism, why he was trying to contaminate my food: since I asked WHY and not IF, he blew up. Demanding to know why I didn't trust him, how I could accuse him of this. He also kept trying to get me to explain why I'm veggie in the first place, but he knows this well so I didn't let him derail the conversation. Eventually, after the most frustrating, circular argument ever, he stormed off to our bedroom. We didn't speak that night or the morning.

When I got home the next day, he'd actually gone and cooked an entire chicken "for us". He asked me if I'd eat it. It was so surreal: him stood at the kitchen counter with this cooked chicken asking me to eat it when he's never known me to eat meat, as if we hasn't been arguing about this at all. I didn't even respond. I shouldered my way past him to the fridge ... which was a massive mistake. I guess he went a little nuts. I still can't really believe this happened, but he grabbed me by my hair at the back on my head and with another hand tried to force chicken into my mouth.

I am still shocked by this. It was terrifying, he was so much stronger than me. He didn't succeed and after some moments of me struggling, he let go. He just stood there, looking defeated while I literally ran out of the kitchen and got some stuff and went to my parent's. I'm there now, it's been the better part of a week. He's agreed to move out: put up no fight for the flat or for us (which I wouldn't accept of course anyway). When we spoke on the phone to decide this, he sounded ashamed. Quiet. I hope he's ashamed.

I'll never know why he suddenly snapped about my vegetarianism and I frankly don't care anymore, he's obviously just a wanker to do that anyway. This past month or so has been so different to the test of our relationship, it's crazy, but there's no coming back from this. I'm well shot of him.

tl;dr: BF tried to force feed me, we're done.

Naerasa posted:

Do lesbians just hate bisexual people or something? What does it matter what label you use?

quote:

I still can't really believe this happened, but he grabbed me by my hair at the back on my head and with another hand tried to force chicken into my mouth.

Naerasa posted:

Do lesbians just hate bisexual people or something? What does it matter what label you use?