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May 9, 2024 17:37
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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Her dad is the Agent 47 and she was practicing the moves.
Vaseline on the floor of the tub honestly sounds like a low rent assassin's kind of move
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Oct 13, 2016 15:24
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- KomodoWagon
- May 10, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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He's not a superhero, violently "confronting an old enemy" isn't a thing that needs to happen.
Again, you have no way of knowing that. Lots of superheroes have to keep their identity hidden, even from their loved ones. Unless she visits him in the hospital, talks to him and confronts him with her grievances, she's just alienating her boyfriend on no basis except some piecemeal story she's crafted based on what other people have told her.
e: maybe he's gay
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Oct 13, 2016 15:25
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Vaseline on the floor of the tub honestly sounds like a low rent assassin's kind of move
I'm a huge baby bitch and I've been kind of paranoid about slipping in the shower ever since seeing a Final Destination trailer so that sounded especially hosed-up to me yeah
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Oct 13, 2016 15:26
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- bone app the teeth
- May 14, 2008
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severe head concussions from falling in a tub, epic prank bro
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Oct 13, 2016 16:16
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- bone app the teeth
- May 14, 2008
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help i've been throwing angry brown recluses at my girlfriend and they keep biting her so she broke up with me. whats the deal with that?
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Oct 13, 2016 16:16
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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Me [21 F] writing her future husband [?? M] till I find him
quote:
I've been single now for 5 months out of a 4 year relationship. Sure, it still hurts some days, but i've found solace in being alone. I've began to write to my future husband. I'm going to put all these letters in a box and give it to him either the day of our wedding or the day before. I'm telling him about my days and how hopeful I am for the day that we will meet.
I hope one day to write all about my ex's and how they helped mold me into the person I am now. I mean, I'm not going to tell him all the details, but just the highlights. I have no idea who this man will be, but I'm hopeful he'll come along. I was wondering if anyone else is doing this. If so, what exactly do you write? I'm running out of things to say and don't want to seem like a total nut.
tl;dr: I'm writing to my future husband, and am running out of things to say. Anyone else doing this, and if so what do you say?
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Oct 13, 2016 16:20
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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What I always want to know in stories like the guy whose girlfriend is trying to kill him is who the hell these family members who keep trying to get these train wrecks back together are? Never in my life has it occurred to me after one of my siblings dumped somebody to tell them "give it another chance! maybe she'll stop throwing knives at you!"
Is this something that actually happens? What kind of loving weirdo does that?
If this has ever happened to you or you are one of the loving weirdos, I just want to hear about it, because it's so strange to me.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:26
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- Dial-a-Dog
- May 22, 2001
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Dear future husband, I write to you to inform you of the following red flags:
1) this box of crazy letters
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Oct 13, 2016 16:28
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- Space Kablooey
- May 6, 2009
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My [30F] friend [31F] frequents a business but I overheard the employees saying bad things about her. Should I tell her?
quote:
My friend has always raved about this business and has recommended it several times. I tried it out yesterday. The entire time I was there, the employees spoke (in another language) about "map girl" - basically saying mean things about her appearance and personality. When a third employee came in, the first two told her it was a bad day, they had already seen "map girl" first thing, etc.
When I told my friend that I had tried them out, she said it was too bad she didn't see me, because she had been to an 8AM appointment but must have left before I arrived. That's when I realized that she was "map girl" - she has a map tattoo.
I am sure it was her they were talking about. They do 45 minute appointments and only had one person working (the other person was the receptionist) when I went in. So they probably didn't have any other customers, and the fact that they called her "map girl" pretty much seals the deal.
I feel awful about this because my friend has been going to this place weekly for 5+ years and has always recommended them highly. I want to tell her, but at the same time, there's nothing she can do about their words. It might hurt her more than it would help her.
Should I tell her, or not?
tl;dr: My friend recommended a business to me that she loves. I went there and they said bad things about her. Should I tell her?
And the kicker:
quote:
[–]hellogo55 11 points 58 minutes ago
Is this business a salon of some kind? The employees always talk poo poo about the customers. Honestly, think about their work environment and culture (based on the different language). It's kind of how they get through the day. As long as they provide your friend with good service, I would just let it lie.
[–]cantunderstandinstr[S] 3 points 44 minutes ago
Similar. They call it "physical therapy massage." My friend goes there because she is overweight and has a lot of joint and back pain, and that's part of what they talked about - like "she wouldn't need to come here if she wasn't so fat" etc.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:34
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- CharlestonJew
- Jul 7, 2011
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Illegal Hen
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Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 2.5 years, girlfriend doesn't like me masturbating
Obviously they should get married so they can bone
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Oct 13, 2016 16:37
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- Tender Bender
- Sep 17, 2004
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Me [19 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 2.5 years, girlfriend doesn't like me masturbating
Welcome to the party, pal.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:38
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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Obviously they should get married so they can bone
Hahahahahahaha, oh man, there was a story some goon posted here about some religious guy he worked with who him and his wife were waiting until marriage to have sex.
The guy was like "Yeah, I can't wait until I get married so I can have sex all the time!". So the goon called over his friend who had been married for a few years and asked him how much his sex life improved after marriage and he laughed in their faces.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:42
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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"Hey, why don't I commit to a romantic relationship with someone who's views on sex are a near polar opposite to mine"
He's 19 and it's his first girlfriend, I can kind of understand the desperation.
People really need to start linking these again, oftentimes great gold can be found in the OP's comments.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:45
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- Menstrual Show
- Jun 3, 2004
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My [30F] friend [31F] frequents a business but I overheard the employees saying bad things about her. Should I tell her?
And the kicker:
This is a Seinfeld episode.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:48
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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He's 19 and it's his first girlfriend, I can kind of understand the desperation.
People really need to start linking these again, oftentimes great gold can be found in the OP's comments.
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Oct 13, 2016 16:51
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- im cute
- Sep 21, 2009
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Hey, speaking of 19 year olds!
I (19M) should probably dump my GF (19 F) for my possible soul mate (19 F)
quote:Okay so a little back story,
I'm 19, a chill, confident individual, ready to take on anything thrown at me. But I have been in this predicament for quite some time now. Me and my girl , let's call her R. , have been going out for almost 9 months now, and we have had a bumpy
relationship the whole way. Now flash back to when I had just started dating her. It was the beginning of the semester (college/freshman) and I was chilling with some homies at one of the dorm hang outs. I don't even go to this school but my best friend does and we just finished smoking some herb. Anyways I walk in cool calm and collected and approached the area where the rest of my friends and some random people (who later became my friends) were chilling on couches and what not, I introduced myself to everyone as per usual but one girl in particular stood out. This girl, let's call her A. , was sitting to my direct left and I swear to God we looked into each other's eyes and our souls just came out , iv done shrooms, acid, dmt, and smoked hella bud. But iv never felt that way before in my life. I felt like we mind hosed each other's brains till we both came. It was the most intense meeting of anyone iv ever had. Btw she isn't even really my type but I find myself very attracted to her and her personality. The other thing is we cross each other's paths a lot, without trying. After our first meeting I ran into her at a costume store (for Halloween ) and we of course locked eyes and flipped poo poo cuz I live in a large city (San Antonio, Tx) . We both kinda laughed and said that's trippy. Then she kinda started hanging around my friends a lot so we would see each other at least once a week or every other week when school was going on. But when I first meet her all of my friends liked her and tried hitting on her but she had a boyfriend who went to school in another city from high school. After they split me and my girl were going strong so I just stayed with her. But anyway fast forward a while and me and my girl split for like the 3rd time and I told her "I'd never love you again" kinda poo poo when she left my car but of course things happen, but while we were broken up A. came over one Saturday night at around 11:30pm... Like I'm not sure if she wanted to gently caress or get to know me or what but we started snap chatting that night for a few hours and decided we should chill. Well guess who texts me that night, not 5 mins after A. shows up and proceeds to watch Netflix with me on my couch, that's right R. , saying that she had to talk to me ASAP and was headed over, so obviously I told A. to bounce and we'd try again some other time. Well my girl heard that A. was talking poo poo about her (women) and that got hella mad and started talking poo poo back so there's some bad blood there, but what's even trippier is that a week or two ago I went tubing on the river, with both of them and some friends. I actually got to kinda compare them side to side. My current girl is much more attractive hands down. But I am just drawn to the curiosity and the actual chemistry that me and A. had. They were chill but I could totally get the vibe that both wanted to be with me. Actually A. was trying to talk to me more towards the end then R. I know this post is getting long and it's teenage drama essentially but I have been struggling in deciding on what to do. R. I feel needs me, she's going through some things right now and she has been the best girlfriend iv ever had, we have great sex, we are pretty tight , and she's my best friend. But A. .... There is just something about her and the way we meet that makes me believe there is something very deep there, or could be. Maybe I'm wrong but the other day when I was at my recruiting office (I'm enlisting in the marines, as soon as I quit smoking lol) and she was there! At her army recruiter (she's in ROTC) just completely out of random. I couldn't believe my eyes, we both couldn't lol. But we gave each other hugs and talked and what not. I honestly feel like life just throws us at each other to try and see what happens. life is so crazy. I'm about to go to sleep but will check to see if anyone has commented or shared any thoughts.
TL:DR Two chicks, one dick.
TL:DR
TL:DR 2 girls, one herb. Anyways I walk in cool calm and collected and approached the area where the rest of my friends and some random people (who later became my friends) were chilling on couches and what not, I introduced myself to everyone as per usual but one girl in particular stood out. This girl, let's call her A. , was sitting to my direct left and I swear to God we looked into each other's eyes and our souls just came out , iv done shrooms, acid, dmt, and smoked hella bud. But iv never felt that way before in my life. I felt like we mind hosed each other's brains till we both came. It was the most intense meeting of anyone iv ever had. Btw she isn't even really my type but I find myself very attracted to her and her personality. The other thing is I run into a lot, without trying. After our first meeting I ran into her at a costume store (for Halloween ) and we of course locked eyes and flipped poo poo cuz I live in a large city (San Antonio, Tx) . We both kinda laughed and said that's trippy. Then she kinda started hanging around my friends a lot so we would see each other at least once a week or every other week when school was going on. But when I first meet her all of my friends liked her and tried hitting on her but she had a boyfriend who went to school in another city from high school. After they split me and my girl were going strong so I just stayed with her. But anyway fast forward a while and me and my girl split for like the 3rd time and I told her "I'd never love you again" kinda poo poo when she left my car but of course things happen, but while we were broken up A. came over one Saturday night at around 11:30pm... Like I'm not sure if she wanted to gently caress or get to know me or what but we started snap chatting that night for a few hours and decided we should chill. Well guess who texts me that night, not 5 mins after A. shows up and proceeds to watch Netflix with me on my couch, that's right R. , saying that she had to talk to me ASAP and was headed over, so obviously I told A. to bounce and we'd try again some other time. Well my girl heard that A. was talking poo poo about her (women) and that got hella mad and started talking poo poo back so there's some bad blood there, but what's even trippier is that a week or two ago I went tubing on the river, with both of them and some friends. I actually got to kinda compare them side to side.iM not sure which one would be better but the one I'm with now I know won't last forever. It seems like a no brainier I guess but hey were chill but I could totally get the vibe that both wanted to be with me. Actually A. was trying to talk to me more towards the end then R. I know this post is getting long and it's teenage drama essentially but I have been struggling in deciding on what to do. R. I feel needs me, she's going through some things right now and she has been the best girlfriend iv ever had, we have great sex, we are pretty tight , and she's my best friend. But A. .... There is just something about her and the way we meet that makes me believe there is something very deep there, or could be. Maybe I'm wrong but the other day when I was at my recruiting office (I'm enlisting in the marines, as soon as I quit smoking lol) and she was there! At her army recruiter (she's in ROTC) just completely out of random. I couldn't believe my eyes, we both couldn't lol. But we gave each other hugs and talked and what not.life is so crazy.
TL:DR
relationship.
reddit posted:
Are you high right now?
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Oct 13, 2016 17:22
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- pants in my pants
- Aug 18, 2009
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by Smythe
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Young & dumb & full of cum (also thc)
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Oct 13, 2016 17:25
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- im cute
- Sep 21, 2009
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Jeffrey asked us nicely not to, but I agree. Didn't the last thread get shut down because people were touching the poop though?
i thought it was shut down because of people seriousposting about stupid poo poo like whether bi people exist and how big an average-sized dick is.
BONUS SOUL MATE STORY
I [22 M] feel like I screwed it up with my [22 F] soul mate of 6 years
quote:
This story is nothing short of tragic, and I cant seem to get over it. Its only been a couple days, but I feel like I am going to live with this regret for the rest of my life.
I met this girl when I was in grade 11 and was a complete nerd, she was a bombshell and a popular girl from another school. Our relationship was one of the closest relationships I have ever had, and she was the only thing in life that didn't make me feel empty and gave me a reason to do things. She truly liked me for who I was.
The connection was instantaneous like nothing I have ever felt before.
Long story short, her mother wanted her to get married (cultural reasons) GOON NOTE: her mom joined a cult after her divorce; soul mate's older sisters were married off in their teens to fellow members, and her mother was very against me and never gave me the chance to even meet her and talk about it.
However, I am 22 and still in school and felt very uncomfortable getting married so quickly, but I started working out, trying really hard in school and essentially getting my poo poo together because I knew this girl was worth every ounce of struggle I had to go through.
I also mistakenly took a very long time to get full on board with going through with an engagement, and I guess she started to doubt it as soon as I felt more sure. Her mom pressured her and now shes engaged to someone else.
I feel like I have lost my soul mate, my best friend, and the one person that truly understood me.
I know I have to get over here somehow, but how do I cope with the reality that I was ready too late to be with her.
Tl:Dr Lost my soul mate after 6 years of dating, finding it hard to cope with losing her.
im cute fucked around with this message at 17:34 on Oct 13, 2016
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Oct 13, 2016 17:26
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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i thought it was shut down because of people seriousposting about stupid poo poo like whether bi people exist and how big an average-sized dick is.
Yea I don't recall it being shut down for poop-touching.
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Oct 13, 2016 17:27
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Moridin happened
also I tried reading some of that last story but I got like twenty lines in and you could still sum it up as "help I'm 19" so I stopped
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Oct 13, 2016 17:27
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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also I tried reading some of that last story but I got like twenty lines in and you could still sum it up as "help I'm 19" so I stopped
He has a girlfriend, but got super high and convinced himself that he psychically ultra-connected with some random girl.
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Oct 13, 2016 17:29
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- Strep Vote
- May 5, 2004
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أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة
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As long as he comes down again he'll be ok.
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Oct 13, 2016 17:37
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- im cute
- Sep 21, 2009
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Moridin happened
also I tried reading some of that last story but I got like twenty lines in and you could still sum it up as "help I'm 19" so I stopped
That's 19 more lines than me, my dude. Probably the same story as the one a few threads ago where some girl's boyfriend took a bunch of ecstasy and ended up astrally projecting his dick into some other girl at SXSW.
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Oct 13, 2016 17:38
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- bone app the teeth
- May 14, 2008
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see kids don't smoke dope
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Oct 13, 2016 17:44
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 17:37
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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Try to follow the rules in the op and things should be just fine
quote:
My [23 F] BF [26 M] of 4 years suggested we open our relationship. I said no and he said OK. Am I wrong for wanting to end this?
Hi Relationships, I'll try and be as brief as possible.
So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years now. We've had our ups and downs, and I actually broke up with him about a year ago because he was depressed, but I realized I made a mistake and we got back together. We moved in together about 10 months ago.
We are each other's first for sex and as serious long term relationship. I say that because even before he asked me about opening the relationship, I had a sense he was losing interest in me.
So yesterday, we had a discussion where he said he loved me with all of his heart and wants to be with me, but he doesn't want to regret not having been with anybody else in his life. I never knew he felt this way, but he said he has felt this for almost 2 years now. He said it was a feeling he hoped would go away, but he said it comes up in his head every so often.
He suggested we open the relationship for a period of time, and told me that he would support any decision I made. I was in tears at this point, and I told him no. He didn't look or act disappointed, but I suspect he was, but he hugged me and told me he loved me.
Now I don't know how I feel. I thought we were both happy being each other's first and only, and now I realize that it was only me who was happy like this. I don't think he has cheated on me, which is why he asked about opening the relationship. I do believe he loves me, and I still love him, even though I am hurting terribly.
Would it be irrational to end the relationship over this? This cut is still very fresh, so I'm not sure if I am thinking with a clear head right now, I really need to hear some opinions.
TL;DR: BF of 4 years wants to open our relationship because we are each other's firsts and only sexual partners. I am hurt, but not sure if this is grounds to end the relationship.
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Oct 13, 2016 17:52
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Oct 13, 2016 15:13
PEPSI for TV-GAME
