loquacius posted:

Unfortunately the frontman of 70s glam metal band KISS is very real stay safe out there

quote:

My [65 M] wife [60 F] of 40 years and I will be inviting a much younger [22F] partner into our bedroom. Very worried about wife's feelings after.

We've always been pretty adventurous in bed but this is something totally new though she's talked about it for awhile, its all her doing, from idea to finding someone.
Despite that, we've never had any other partners, we're old and half-fat, this young lady is very attractive to say the least. And its not exactly a threesome thing, the sex bit is more me and not my wife, she'd just like to prepare the girl and watch.
So Im a little worried about jealousy after the fact, that once done the whole thing wont be so rosy. Obviously I know my wife better than anyone here, but if anyone has any insights on any of it that would be great thanks.
tl;dr: Wife wants to watch me have sex with a much younger woman, worried about jealously issues.

almightyerin posted:

Why do I get the vibe from this that the lucky girl has no idea she's been chosen for this honor?

gentle pete posted:

Rather complicated situation here and I'm not sure if I can do it justice, but I'll do my best.

DOMDOM posted:

Lady with the moron straight edge boyfriend who hid her meds posted an update. She brought up how she thought it was wrong of him and he disagreed and broke up with her.

DOMDOM posted:

Lady with the moron straight edge boyfriend who hid her meds posted an update. She brought up how she thought it was wrong of him and he disagreed and broke up with her.

HardDiskD posted:

My [30F] friend [31F] frequents a business but I overheard the employees saying bad things about her. Should I tell her?


And the kicker:

moose face posted:

Children should only be had with good intentions imo

quote:

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a crippling phobia of spiders. And I’ve always been the first to acknowledge it’s extreme and ridiculous. I hate it, I had to swap rooms with my brother when I was younger because of how many spiders got in my room. I can’t go into a room if there’s a spider there and I can’t go into it for a long period after it’s gone. If a spider touches something of mine I have to wash it or throw it away. These are just a few examples of of how stupid it is. I have been going to therapy over it and have just gotten to a point where I can TALK about them without cringing (barely, 90% of the time). I’ve been with my Roger 3 years and he’s known all about my phobia. He’s watched me physically break down over one being close to me, crying and frantically washing my things after seeing a spider. He’s seen the full extent of my phobia and knows how debilitating it is.

Now last week I was sat on the couch, we had friends over and (apparently) none of them knew what was to come. He’d been telling me for weeks he had a ‘surprise’ for me and was ‘waiting for the right time’ to give it to me, so I’d been pretty excited for whatever it was. So you can imagine my horror when he tips a full jar of spiders he’d been collecting for WEEKS all over me in front of all our friends.

I screamed, made an absolute fool out of myself flinging my limbs around trying to get them off. I was crying and shaking more than I ever have in my life. I ran straight into the shower and showered with my clothes on, taking them off as I showered. It takes a long rear end time for the water to heat up in my house too so it was a cold shower. I hear my friends outside telling me that Roger and some of the others are trying to get them all out of the living room and I’m just hysterically scrubbing myself crying and shaking. I could barely even stand.

Two hours later they manage to get me out of the bathroom, my friend has already said I can stay at her house until the spiders are all gone and said I could borrow her clothes until everything’s sorted. I eventually managed to walk over to the door and unlock it, wearing just a towel, dead soaking spiders all over the floor and I’m just sobbing hysterically. As soon as I step out my friend hugs me and brings me to her car. Roger follows us outside saying things such as “what the hell”, “where are you going”, “I’m sorry it was just a joke” etc etc. I have never ever screamed at someone before but I just freaking lost it. I called him an rear end in a top hat and asked him what the gently caress he was thinking, what the gently caress was so loving funny about tipping a jar of spiders he’d been collecting like a freak for months when he loving KNEW I was TERRIFIED of them, I told him we were loving through and that I’d never be able to recover from this.

Since then I’ve been staying at my friends house and she’s been so great, she’s scared of spiders too but nowhere near to the extent I am. She’s told me I was right to do what I did and that he’s a loving rear end in a top hat etc. My therapy has gone to poo poo, I can’t even look at a picture without breaking down, I’m crying just writing this. I’ll have to go right back to the beginning and work up all over again when it’s taken me YEARS to get to where I was. Roger has messaged me asking to meet and he’s apologized a lot, he wants to work this out and ‘honestly thought I’d see the funny side’, I’ve not responded at all because I’m just so hurt and broken. I know they’re just bugs and they can’t hurt me but from my perspective he may as well have thrown acid over me. I know how silly it sounds but this has just destroyed me and YEARS of progress in therapy. Am I over reacting? Should I take him back? Even if I did I don’t think I’d ever be able to feel safe with him or trust him again.

tl;dr I have an extreme phobia of spiders, boyfriend collected hundreds in a jar for months and threw them over me. I broke up with him, am I in the wrong?

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

lol

Captain Lavender posted:

My boyfriend [24 M] pranked me in a horrible way and I [20 F] broke it off with him. He wants to work through it and I’m worried I’ve made the wrong decision. Who’s right here?
(This is re: spiders, if that bothers you, fyi)

loquacius posted:

Don't just sever, murder that gently caress

quote:

I (23F) went on 2 dates I didn't know were dates with an older man (50sM) who has been in our friends group for about 2 years. Now he's trying to get me removed from the group. Wut do?

So this group of friends is a gaming group. We've been playing together for a few years. There are people of all ages in it. The youngest is the son of one of my friends who I think is 8, the oldest is in his 60s. They're friends, but not super CLOSE friends. We see each other a lot but don't talk personally.

The guy this is about is "Xander". Xander is in his late 40s/early 50s. A few months ago he mentioned he was going to a related event out of town and asked if I wanted to come too. I've been having a bit of stress lately, I thought it would be fun to get away so I said yes.
We had a great time. Xander was a perfect gentleman, introduced me to a lot of new people, no complaints. We went to a few similar things over a few weeks. Sometimes alone, sometimes with other friends. Well, another friend, "Jake", asked how things were going with Xander. I was like what things? Apparently Xander has been telling everyone we're dating, how much he cares about me, all this stuff.

I didn't even know these activities were dates, as we've only gone out alone twice. We've been friends for years, it didn't seem out of the ordinary, just that he wanted to go to something, nobody else did, why don't we go together. Like bringing a friend as a "date" to a wedding so you have someone to hang out with, talk to, and dance with.

So I talked to Xander about it. I said I adore him as a friend but I wasn't aware these were dates, there was nothing overly romantic or date-like about them, we did absolutely NOTHING physical or sexual, we even had different hotel rooms. I told him that while I think he's a kind, classy, handsome guy, I'm not comfortable dating someone older than my father.

I tried to make clear that I was sorry if he felt I lead him on (which I know I didn't, because I DIDN'T KNOW THESE WERE DATES, I was just trying to make peace) but we didn't communicate well, and that I had absolutely NO issues continuing as friends and as part of the group, that someday we'll laugh about this. He just said "I doubt I'll laugh" and walked away.

Ok, he had a crush on me, which I didn't share. That's gonna hurt. I get it. We all hate rejection.

So the day before our next game meetup, I get a call for "Matthew" who says maybe it's best if I skip a time or two. That a lot of people are mad at me for how I used Xander, and I should let it blow over.

Used???!!! Yes he paid for everything. But I made it a point to ask, a few times, if I could pay him back for my room, buy dinner, buy a round of drinks, and he refused. I didn't use him!!! Again, I didn't even know these were dates!!!!
Anyway, whatever, I sat out a couple weeks. I thought he was being a huge baby, but I wanted to just let it settle without escalating it more.

After about a month, I went to a different thing we all go to sometimes, with our usual group and a few other people. When I got there I was snubbed. These people weren't even in mine/Xanders/Matthews group.

Well by then I'm pissed. This has gone WAY too far. I sent Xander an email that basically said "I don't know what I did wrong, except be honest that I didn't know you considered the activities we went to dates, I didn't know you had feelings for me, and when I found out, I tried to make it clear that I liked you as a friend and gaming partner, but want to date closer to my own age. Maybe the language I used wasn't the most sensitive and I'm sorry for that, but I didn't intend to "use" you and I don't understand this smear campaign."

He wrote back that he wasn't trying to be cruel or exact revenge, but he was too hurt to see me and had to protect himself, that he doesn't know when he'll be over this, that having feelings has always gotten him in trouble and from this point on his heart is titanium plated, nothing in or out.
OMFG seriously HOW old is this guy? And why is everyone believing him? He's going to anyone who'll listen and telling them how awful I am, these are every single one of my friends and interests. What he's telling them isn't even true, we didn't date, I thought we were just hanging out.
What do I do?

tl;dr Older friend had feelings for me. We hung out and were totally platonic (I thought). I tried to let him down easy but make clear I didn't feel the same, now he's smearing and punishing me for the relationship he felt I owed him and telling everyone I'm a user and god knows what other lies. What can I do?

Leon Einstein posted:

Saying you want to put it up a cheerleaders butt is middle schooler talk. Wtf.

moose face posted:

Do not resort to violence. Be honest and sever cleanly

quote:

I just went on my second date with this girl. For months now we have been talking almost nightly on the phone, and it has been great.

The only thing is sometimes she would quite oddly blow up over nothing.. She blamed it on "it's just how black people are" which I found irritating to say the least.

On our second date she admitted to me that she patched her sister in on our calls almost every single time. I felt like this was a bit of an invasion of privacy and was annoyed.

Not just that, but the more I thought of it.. Was this why she used to blow up over things? Was it because she felt she was proving something to her sister? And was this an invasion of privacy I am right to feel quite irritated by?

tl;dr: Girl used to blow up over small things, then I admitted she always had her sister on the phone with us. Is this an invasion of privacy? And was she trying to play things up for her sister?

Haifisch posted:

Sad old nerd story

zakharov posted:

mind the walrus posted:

Are there any stories of people in a gaming group working out? Both in real life and online every gaming group I've seen falls apart to teenage bullshit.

Jack Trades posted:

Proof that WoW ruins everything.

They should ..their WoW subscriptions.

Doflamingo posted:

Holy mother of gently caress that's terrible.

Captain Lavender posted:

My boyfriend [24 M] pranked me in a horrible way and I [20 F] broke it off with him. He wants to work through it and I’m worried I’ve made the wrong decision. Who’s right here?
(This is re: spiders, if that bothers you, fyi)

Pick posted:

I had a terrible phobia of spiders as a child and my parents hit me.












those facts aren't related

Improbable Lobster posted:

I'm a huge fan of spiders and love them; please do not dump them on people

Worldshatter posted:

When the gently caress did "pranking" become "trying to traumatise the poo poo out of someone close to me because lol it's just a prank"

mind the walrus posted:

There have always been people for whom "pranking" is an excuse for low-grade sociopathy. The difference is now there are avenues for nearly anyone to film and otherwise document them (victim and perpetrator) for a mass audience.

quote:

My (30M) girlfriend's (24F) anime-geek friends (M29-34) drive me crazy and frankly, I want to beat them
So I'm kind of a nerd but not really in an obvious way. I don't have any nerd pride and I show it off to other people. I just so happen to like lots of nerdy things and kind of go off the mainstream quite a bit in terms of my interests, however I'd say that I as well as most of my friends were within the spectrum of 'normal' insofar that we didn't behave in such a way as to draw negative attention to ourselves.

My girlfriend is equally nerdy I'd say but she kind of branches off in a different direction. She likes Japanese stuff like anime, Nintendo, RPGs and so forth. I'm more of a sci-fi/science/history nerd. We've always overlapped enough that it hasn't been a problem and I've done/watched a lot of things she likes and vice versa. To be honest I find a lot of the stuff she enjoys to be a bit on the childish side (which I'll get to) and she knows this, however I've never judged her for it really and I just assume "different strokes for different folks". Lots of people like stuff I don't. I should also add that my girlfriend was 240lbs up until she was 21 and I used to be heavy as well. Now she's 155lbs (was 125 but I'll get to that later), I'm 150lbs and we both look great compared to how we were. I think this explains a lot.

Now the problem: we moved to a new city together and I bought a condo downtown. In one of the neighbouring apartment blocks lives a bunch of guys that all work together at a nearby Wal-Mart. They're all huge anime geeks, way moreso than her, so she spends a lot of time with them. Before I met them and she was just going over there I was a bit jealous but then I met them and realized I had nothing to worry about (think smelly, fat Napoleon Dynamites). My girlfriend is a very attractive girl but in her head I think she still thinks she's 200+lbs and unattractive which is why she makes the social choices she does. The problem is that I feel these guys are really going to drag her down.

The first thing is that they all work at Wal-Mart and room together which means they're perpetually broke. They don't beg for money that often but they have asked her before and some are paying it back in installments. It's almost always money for a video game or cards or a something for a cosplay outfit or an old console thing etc. Once it was even weird porn. I don't look down on people that work at Wal-Mart or anything but the way I see it is that they let their hobbies (hobbies which frankly I do look down on) overtake other aspects of their lives like their work. My parents give me a hard time about not moving forward enough and I make $60,000 a year. These guys make less than $20,000 a year (each) and live on ramen, pizza, junk food and spaghetti like I did when I was 18 and couldn't cook. They also don't take care of themselves at all (their apartment is so disgusting I don't even like stepping in the doorway). Big Bang Theory is a lie.

That's not the really bad part though. I could honestly get over the other stuff. It's when they talk that they bother me so much. Lately my girlfriend has been inviting them over, sometimes with other people they met in cosplay events (yes, seriously). Once they brought someone over who looked suspiciously young and I asked my girlfriend how old they were the next day, she said they were sixteen yet everyone was drinking well into the night with this kid there (who didn't drink fortunately). I got really mad because there are so many things wrong with a 24 year old and a bunch of people in their 20s/30s drinking and hanging out with someone who is sixteen yet no one seemed to understand why I had a problem with this as the kid is part of their group or whatever.
Anyway, when they're here they play video games, watch anime cartoons, drink, play board games and what not. I'm always 'invited' but never feel welcome (I'm sure they think I'm 'sheeple' or something). One night I was out with my friends, came home drunk to four of them with my girlfriend watching yet another anime. One of them asked me to join them, I said "it's not my thing, sorry", my girlfriend said "remember he thinks we're childish" and that sparked the first confrontation where we all learned that we hated each other. It went into them arguing about the merits of the anime they were watching, then their costumes, video games etc. as I started attacking all of it. My girlfriend went into our bedroom for most of this. I said the reason they liked this stuff so much is because they didn't do anything after high school (referring to university) like I did and wouldn't know what real cinema/art was if it jumped up and bit them on the rear end. I also said that they're the product of being coddled too much not having their asses kicked enough and I said that if they don't start growing up they're going to geek out until they all have heart attacks. My girlfriend heard about this after the fact and it cut into our relationship pretty deep. She was all about the three word sentences for the next week until I fired off an email to one of the guys apologizing for going over the top. Even then she was cold for awhile.

The last straw was when I went to a 'cosplay thing' (as I call it) with my girlfriend who was dressed up along with these guys, all as video game/anime characters. I was dressed up as awkward/embarrassed man who was there because of his girlfriend. During the convention I was fine because everyone else was dressed up but afterwards we drove back to our part of town where there are no people in costumes and they wanted to play outside while being dressed up which I ended up having to chaperon. I was so embarrassed to be seen with them that I tried to stand far enough away from them that I could protect them from getting beaten up yet not be seen as part of the group. If I saw someone I knew it would be mortifying and I wouldn't know how to explain it. I'm 30 for gently caress sakes. Luckily I didn't see anyone I knew but my girlfriend was pissed off at me for walking five feet apart from them all the time. At one point they started re-enacting something on the street by putting their hands up and yelling something in Japanese and then doing a weird little dance or karate thing (I honestly don't know). After about 150 dirty looks and twenty "you loving faggots!" later I whispered to my girlfriend that I couldn't be around these guys unless they "grew the gently caress up" and told her to come meet me at the coffee shop nearby when they were done. I've never had that much pissed off'edness in my voice before.
There are other things but these pretty much sum it all up. Keep in mind that aside from this--my girlfriend and I are totally fine. It's just that when she's with these guys, she's a different person. No costumes and no weird poo poo. It's like it's all confined to these guys which would be good if they were more down to earth (then hey--maybe I'd join in when they asked).

The thing is, when it comes to these guys and these hobbies/obsessions/autism whatever, she gives me zero inches in terms of how much credibility she gives to my arguments. She thinks I'm nuts and that any other person would be 100% okay with it. Her friends all echo this opinion (of course). I know they're trying to get her to break up with me so they can have me gone and if we didn't get along so well together when we were alone, then we would've broken up awhile ago. My friends on the other hand are the exact opposite and think I should break up with her and throw her friends off the balcony. It's really touchy.

Lastly, and this isn't something I'm shallow enough to get too bent out of shape over but she's gained about 30 pounds back since hanging out with them. She lost so much weight and did so well but since she spends half her time with them and half her time with me, she spends half her time eating nothing but potato chips and pizza. It's got to the point where I actually pointed it out and said that if she didn't stop mirroring them in this one aspect that she was going to be right back where she was in about a year. She has been working on it but it's understandably hard with all the pressure they inadvertently put on her to basically be like them. My friends and I go hiking and play paintball on weekends as well as lots of other outdoorsy stuff but I think the only way she'll go is if her friends go and they would never go (yes I did invite the whole lot of them). I tried to get her to get a job too but that will never happen because her parents send her a lot of money every month so she doesn't have to work and it's more money than she would ever get from any job she is qualified to do.

Am I crazy? I got beaten up a lot in high school for being the slightest bit nerdy and I've tidied up a lot since then. These guys took it to an extreme I wouldn't even have dreamed of and didn't have it beaten out of them? How is this fair? Why don't people beat the poo poo out of them? Why am I losing my girlfriend to this? I don't know what to do. I kind of think that my girlfriend takes things way too far and that if I don't really step in and balance things out, in a tactful way of course, she's going to go right off the edge with these guys.

tl;dr: I'm losing my girlfriend to a bunch of guys who think dressing up like video game characters and basing their whole lives around these kinds of hobbies is an okay thing to do, to the extent that their physical health and working life is sacrificed. The more my girlfriend hangs out with them the more I'm worried that she's going to become them (she already is in some ways). Who is in the wrong here and at what point do I just walk away?

End boss Of SGaG* posted:

Maybe those dudes are losers but the guy sounds insanely bitter and insecure over his mediocre life.