Improbable Lobster posted:

The original post said sockguy would also indulge in her kinks

Improbable Lobster posted:

The original post said sockguy would also indulge in her kinks

quote:

i was talking to this girl for about 3 months and she was hella into me anyone i asked said she likes you she likes you and apparently my own mother who works with her mom says she likes me. one night when i was drunk as gently caress i was at a party had about 8 shots of vodka and a couple of rips from a bong ( not gonna lie i couldn't walk) i was texting this girl because im super smart kappa. i felt like we really clicked before tho she sort of understood me and was super into me her parents basically got all of her texts and then i was hosed she has 3 older brothers and it didn't go so well. i essentially confessed my feelings for her but we sortof already had some considering she called me baby and i called her baby girl all the time. her parents got the texts when i was drunk and basically she threw me under the bus i think. she told her parents she didnt really know who i was i think because they told me to leave her alone and she said the texts made her uncomfortable which is bull poo poo because iv sent stuff like that before and she was totally into it. it wasn't sexual at all the most i talked about was kissing. i guess her parents and brothers are over protective... i apologized and her brothers started sending me snap chats of them carrying one another saying leave my sister alone.... should i just forget about her i really loving like her. should i just wait a month before talking to her or any ideas??????

tl;dr should i just leave her alone or how do i win her back... is it worth it

P-Mack posted:

what's with these guys who need a notarized letter in triplicate saying "yes I'm banging your girlfriend"

DOMDOM posted:

Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description


hella

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

How the gently caress can someone have an ankle sock fetish

Like, I get that the dude has bigger issues, but that has to be the most weirdly specific fetish I've seen.

WampaLord posted:

Allow me to play the part of "out of touch old man" here for a moment, but I think we've moved too far towards "No kinkshaming" where now all kinks must be not only accepted, but catered to constantly.

A kink is supposed to just be a thing you do that enhances sex, it shouldn't be a required part of sex and more importantly, it shouldn't affect your non-sex life at all. The Dan Savage attitude of GGG seems to make people want to cater to their partner's kinks all the time or beyond a reasonable level, without getting anything in return.

DOMDOM posted:

Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description


hella

brotato posted:

The sock thing is so weird because those aren't even cute or good socks. Is it because you aren't supposed to see them normally? Like wtf

quote:

Me [34F] with husband [32M] married 6 years, sex with him is getting weird and he isn't listening [NSFW]

Disclaimer: There is NO abuse in the relationship. Emotional, physical, or other wise. I know it's easy for people to go there, but this isn't a "whole scope" scenario. It's only the sex part.

Before we were married, my husband wasn't completely honest about his sexual preferences, which I think is due to shame. He was raised in an uber christian house and kicked out at 14 for watching porn.

To keep that scenario short, he is into T-girl porn, enjoys pegging, etc. Honestly that is not a problem. The problem is he isn't listening to me and has begun to get really loving selfish. Sex is starting to become all about him and I'm starting to feel less like his wife and more like a toy. More so, he has started using all of my sex toys (vaginal) for himself (anal). Without telling me. I found out because we are stuck sleeping separately due to me co sleeping with our son, and while cleaning the room he is sleeping in (cause it was a wreck), I found most of my sex toys, plus his, plus lube, plus a disgusting pile of condoms he uses for the toys (not cheating, in case your mind goes there).

We haven't been able to have much lately cause of the baby, but when we do, he's gotten pretty demanding. I have work, school, baby, and a house and I'm honestly so busy I'm drained. I've got a ton of homework to do right now and he is in the bathroom giving himself a drat water enema. I went to drop kiddo off at daycare and before I left he asked if we could have sexy times. I said yes but it would have to be quick cause I have a lot to do and I got back half an hour ago and he is still in the bathroom. I don't have time for this. And this happens all the drat time.

His porn collection is also outrageous. He looks at it ALL the time and I'm pretty sure spends half the day masturbating. Honestly, I don't know how to handle this.

tl;dr: Think husband is a selfish sex addict. How do I talk to him about this? How do I get balance in our sex life? How do I get him to even be realistic about it?

Edit:

I've taken the time to read all the differing opinions, insights, and variations of experience. I will be using these as a guide to help decide which direction we need to go, how to approach this, and how to talk to him. I thank you all for your insight and input.

Couple things:

Him using my toys- I mentioned it because yes, it's disgusting. I'm well aware of health and hygiene. I will not be using those again. You all can relax on that front. This will also be addressed.

Co-sleeping: to those of you concerned about kiddo's well being, thanks. But this post was NOT about that. Let's all assume that as the parent, I know what I'm doing. I have a computer, access to the Internet, and have an IQ higher than those buying stock into creation theory and the anti-vax movement. For what it's worth husband is out of the bed at night because of safety reasons and I'm working on transitioning baby out of bed (lots of crying involved and having him there stresses me out.) SO takes sleep aids, baby is a roller and a crawler, and is also a Velcro baby. I was strongly against co-sleeping. Baby had other plans. It happens. May you all be blessed with unicorn babies who are perfectly healthy and sleep with no issues. Neither one of us are fans of the current set up but it is what it is. For those with a "family bed", that's because that set up works for them. It does not and would not for us. All kids are different, with their own unique needs, wants, and personalities. You can assume that one way is the "right" way all you want. Meanwhile reality will take that wheel and steer you right off the cliff. You could either stick with trying to drive the car as you fly through the air or change tactics and grab the parachute. Your choice. But regardless, I'm not here for a discussion in your beliefs about my parenting. It also has no weight or bearing on the matter.

quote:

I went to drop kiddo off at daycare and before I left he asked if we could have sexy times.

WampaLord posted:

This is the worst piece of Reddit vocabulary ever. Just say "sex" you idiots.

quote:

Throwaway since co-workers know my real account. I have an 11-year-old daughter, Lily, and me and my wife have been together since highschool.

Last night my wife Allison asked me to pick her up from work, then to drive her to a car park by a gas station. She said she had some important news. I was expecting news about promotion, or change in job hours but it wasn't what I expected. She said "John, I've got some news about Lily.". I was expecting it to be medical or something bad but what Allison said next was completely unexpected.

Allison said "You are not Lily's father. Your dad is her actual biological father. I slept with him whilst sleeping at the same time with you, and I can prove he's the biological father, I'm going to get DNA tests done, to show you this."

I yelled at Allison, asked her if this was some sick joke, but she was sullen, and said "It's true. Ask Don if you don't believe me." Don is my dad, btw.
Allison has always been very plainspoken, and outspoken, forthright, etc. so maybe I shouldn't have yelled at her but it was in the heat of the moment.

I felt crushed. All this time I'd been a loving dad, thinking about my daughter growing up, walking her down the aisle at her wedding etc., grandkids, and my wife tells me that she's actually my half-sister.

If, and just if, the DNA tests do prove my dad is the father, how is this gonna affect my life? It's one big wrecking ball but it's probably gonna change family dynamics for the worse.

My mom and dad are together, and my mom is often praised as a good example of a couple being together through good times and bad (she's in some local book group, and ironically, When Calls the Heart, is their choice of book, about relationships).

I feel depressed, angry and bitter. I feel like I've wasted my life being with Allison knowing she slept with my Dad, and feel like I've lost respect for my Dad.
I don't know how to cope. I'm probably gonna have to go to a counselor although finding one in my podunk Idaho town won't be easy.

I feel like my whole world was a fake and I was lied to. I'm going to have to divorce my wife, but starting from scratch again is scary, and I don't have many friends here (I moved from Parkersburg to Idaho as a kid due to my dad's job) and was always seen as the ugly fat kid in school (I am fat, but that's due to medical reasons, not inactivity; doctors say I won't be able to lose weight much, even with healthy eating).

I feel so depressed I need to get help so I've come here for some advice, and don't really know what to do for the best.
TBH, I'm still in shock. Need help here. Not sure what my legal options are.

tl;dr: My wife told me that my dad is the father of our 11-year-old daughter, not me, and I cannot cope.

Nooner posted:

I'd like to imagine that is exactly what he said. Like 32 year old father walked up to his wife and was all "CAN I HAS SEXY TIEM???" and then she said yes

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

[Dallas, TX] I found out that I [36M] am not the father of my daughter [11F] but my father [60s/M] is the father; my wife [34F] told me last night. Struggling to cope. What are my legal options?

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

there's a good one in r/legaladvice


[Dallas, TX] I found out that I [36M] am not the father of my daughter [11F] but my father [60s/M] is the father; my wife [34F] told me last night. Struggling to cope. What are my legal options?


lol

Nooner posted:

holy poo poo cucked by your own dad that is pretty brutal

Nooner posted:

like he was 25 years old, pretty much in your prime and wife would rather bang his 50 year old father, jfc

Gaunab posted:

It also has no weight or bearing on the matter.

Unbelievably Fat Man posted:

I think we've found the one situation where ghosting is morally permissible, hell, maybe mandatory. Turn every asset into cash then gently caress off and waste it on drugs and hookers. Sure, his wife and sister will suffer but it seems like they're his dad's responsibility.

quote:

My (32M) Wife (33F) is the Hamburgler of Orgasms: Takes Them All, Gives None in Return

Okay, so I'm crappy with analogies. Long time lurker, first poster. Throwaway even though she doesn't visit much past r/crafts. Together 6 years, married 3 years. No kids, by choice.

Our marriage is everything I could ask for. Lady is smart, hilarious, kind, sassy, and with legs that could make you cry. She frequently compliments me, too, and apparently I'm none too shabby (her words). We truly enjoy reach other's company, and 6 years on, we still have that giddy first-date spark. We have a strong, open line of communication and have been able to address and resolve any conflict thats ever come along. Except for this.

I'll get right into the nuts and bolts (and hamburgers?). When it comes to sex, she will take anything I give her, but doesn't return the favor. She's not mean about it, she doesn't turn up her nose or make excuses, it's just like she forgets. For example:

We get touchy, she gets flirty, and the sexy times begin. As is her preference, I go down on her first and then sport the sausage, but it only lasts a couple of strokes. She goes to town, gets off, and then rolls over and goes to sleep. I'm left there hanging (so to speak) with her assurances of "making it last" still ringing in my ears.

This is some backwards Twilight-Zone stuff, like whatever the equivalent is for a female "one pump chump". In the morning, I will delicately allude to my 'needs', and she'll enthusiastically promise head. The evening will come and go, maybe even a week or two, and it will come up again (she brings it up herself sometimes). She'll be horrified she forgot, and the usual line is that it just didn't cross her mind. Rinse, repeat.

We have talked through everything over the years- too vanilla/ kinky, too often/ rare, PIV or pegging, history, abuse, romance, babies, sexuality, pron, faps, darkest desires and insecurities -you name it. Her enjoyment is genuine, I would be gobsmacked if she was faking. I've gently covered all this ground, always during a neutral time (not in the heat of the moment, not catching her off guard). We've each shared a lot, but nothing that ever explains why she spaces out. Any time therapy it mentioned, it gets there same treatment- "Yes, absolutely!" and then it goes by the way side.

I am tempted to suspect cheating, but between her work and hobbies, her time is pretty well accounted for (Plus, the nosey old lady next door wouldn't be able to keep any gossip to herself.) No secrecy with accounts/ phones, nothing. Also, there are no emotional distancing/surges usually seen with infidelity.

Folks, I'm at a loss. Does this ring any bells? It's not exactly a dead bedroom, and it has been this way as long as we've been together. Am I just a complete sap, or do I have really selfish expectations?

tl;dr : Wife gets off before I do, doesn't return the favour. Is this common? What do?

Gaunab posted:

quote:

We get touchy, she gets flirty, and the sexy times begin

Nooner posted:

I'd like to imagine that is exactly what he said. Like 32 year old father walked up to his wife and was all "CAN I HAS SEXY TIEM???" and then she said yes

Glenn Quebec posted:

Why don't they just gently caress after she comes?

quote:

A little backstory. My step-son who we will call Bill moved in with us into my house at the age of 16 because he did not want to live with his father anymore. The premise was that his deadbeat dad was an rear end in a top hat and I felt sympathetic and allowed him to move in at my wife's request when we bought our new house. He was made out to be a very good and well behaved kid by my wife. From the start, things were very rocky.

I'm convinced Bill suffers from kleptomania. After he moved in, things I owned started going missing. Not money but things like my pocket knife, flashlight, SD cards, external hard drives, earbuds, screwdrivers, ammunition etc. Anything "shiny" basically. I was going crazy wondering where all of my stuff was going, and it took a long time for me to realize maybe Bill was taking the things. I confronted him but he always denied taking anything. My wife didn't believe her son was the culprit either. At my wits end, I started searching his room and found all of my things that were missing. I confronted him about this, as well as his mother confronted him, he still denied it and "didn't know" how it got in his room, of course. This problem went on for a few years, with my items disappearing every few weeks and finding them in his room, but finally after enough fighting the problem seems to have mostly ended. He no longer seems to be stealing items and hiding them, but he still does have property ownership issues. He still takes ownership of things that aren't his by asking if he can "use" something, and if I agree he can "use" it he then takes possession of it and does not return it. Confronted about it, he will say "you gave it to me" and calls me an "indian giver" if I try to take it back. An example is a speaker system for a TV that I bought for several hundred dollars. I let him use it for a few days with a new television he got, but now he uses it 24/7 and leaves the bass cranked up all night, and refuses to give it back or buy his own speakers.

Now the next problem with Bill is that he's very loud. Very. Not only does he talk loud, have the most obnoxious laugh/giggle that he does constantly (think Peter Griffin), swears and shouts obscenities with his friends on xbox, but he also does it throughout the entire night. He literally comes alive at about 12am and stays awake making the most obnoxious racket until about 6am. I'm the type of sleeper that needs quiet in order to sleep. If things aren't quiet, I can't sleep, at all. My wife is the opposite, noises don't bother her, in fact she needs television on at night to sleep (television keeps me awake at night.) She thinks it's totally normal to need sound to sleep and thinks I'm crazy for being irritated, upset, and distressed over her son sounding like a party every night. Now, originally, it wasn't a huge issue because the bedroom we designated for Bill was far away from ours. However one day when we were out, Bill took it upon himself to move all of his belongings to the bedroom right next to ours, because it was bigger and he couldn't fit all of his game systems and 3 televisions into the smaller bedroom. We were upset he did this in my house without asking, but the mother agreed with him the other bedroom was too small for a then 18 year old boy and I gave in and allowed him to keep the bigger bedroom next to ours. But since then, for the last 3 years, it's been a living nightmare for me. The wall between our bedrooms is paper thin. It's bad enough when he's being super loud and obnoxious on the xbox or PS4 with his friends, or when he has his sound system or televisions which are up against the wall cranked way up with base that rattles our wall, but even when he's "behaving" after yelling at him, I can still hear him talking because he just has a naturally loud voice with a deep tone that (if you know anything about how soundwaves work) just penetrate the wall. So he keeps me up at night by his talking even when he's rarely quiet and not being obnoxious.

Needless to say, I get no sleep at night. For the past 3+ years I've had to time my sleep schedule to be awake during the night when Bill is awake making a racket, and sleep during the day. Now, my wife and I own our own business, where we do the bulk of our work during the day. Because of this, my end of the business has suffered immensely and it has caused a great rift in our marriage. My wife feels that I'm lazy because I sleep all day. She refuses to accept that her son is the problem why I can't sleep and get a restful sleep and why I sleep all day. She says it's no excuse, and the loudness is not a problem for her, etc. She embarresses me by telling everyone we know that all I do is sleep all day. The truth is I wouldn't if Bill wasn't keeping me awake all night, every night, for 3+ years now and if my sleep schedule wasn't so screwed up.

We yell at him when he's being loud and tell him to shut it. He does... for about 20 minutes. Then he's right back at it. We threaten him with punishments which make us feel horrible having to punish a 21 year old, but he complains and says we can't do that, or tries to come up with BS laws and reasons we can't punish him. We turn his internet off, and he would say that because the United Nations passed a resolution saying internet is a human right, that we can't do that and he will call the police on us, etc. It's just ridiculous and then if we do punish him he gets on facebook and complains and makes us look like assholes.

Now, Bill is a very lazy kid, he gets it from his father who has no job most of the time. He has no chores around the house that he will actually do besides taking out the trash every Sunday. But even that, we have to beg and plead him to do every week. His excuse is always "I forgot." I don't understand how one can forget a single task that he has been doing for 5 years now. But whatever. Bill was diagnosed with ADHD and his mother thinks it's a valid excuse for his behavior. Originally Bill was on medication for ADHD but cannot take it anymore due to it making him sick.

Bill recently got a part time job, which we thought was a modern miracle. The problem is, it's a... part time job. Right down the road. He's comfortable in this job he has. He walks to it. It's literally the worst hours (for us) because he goes to work at 3pm, works until 9pm, stays awake until 6 am making a loud racket, and then sleeps from 6am until 1pm when he has to get up and go to work. The job has been more of a curse than a blessing. We were hoping him getting a job would put him in a good direction in life, but it has only made things worse. He spends all of his money on stupid things, doesn't save any. He pretty much exclusively buys video games with his money, or more televisions and game systems, basically anything that produces noise or allows him to be up all night with something obnoxious to do. He has his own bank account and he's an adult so we cannot withold his pay and put it into a savings account for him.

He has no desire to get a vehicle, a driver's license, and to ever find a full time job to keep him busy and off of the xbox every night making a racket and keeping us awake. He has no desire to go to college or do anything with his life besides his part time job to pay the rent we charge him. He does not have any interest in getting married or moving out. He literally wants to keep living at home with us until he's 40 years old. So the nightmare for me I think will never end. We've tried punishing him when he's loud by turning off his internet, etc. It works for a day. He never learns. The punishments never have any lasting effects. And at this point we are wondering if it's even ethical to "punish" a 21 year old.

Why not throw him out or make him move out, you might ask? Well, his doting grandparents will not allow it. Bill has no car, no drivers license, and cannot afford rent anywhere else off of his part time job income. His grandparents have stated that throwing him out would be cruel and have hinted I would suffer repercussions if I threw out their baby boy. They are very politically connected and provide aid to my wife so they could definitely ruin things for us. So basically I am forced to allow him to live in my house with us. I think because of his ADHD, he cannot be reasoned with at all. We've tried having talks with him, he just tunes us out. Anything we say to him goes in one ear and out the other. I think the only thing that would honestly work would be to get physical with him but of course being an adult himself now a spanking would be assault (not to metion that would be weird). We now make him pay $200/month in rent which is about 3/5 of his monthly income from his part time job. We have talked about raising his rent but again to try to encourage him to move out but his grandparents complain about it and plant it in his head that $200/month rent is already and insanely high amount and tell him not to pay us anything more. His grandparents are in their 70's and have no clue that most places around here charge at least $700/month for rent now, they think that just because rent was $100/month back in the 1960's that things are still that price.

He's also a financial burden on us. I personally don't agree I should be paying for a 21 year olds food, clothing, toiletries, and habits but my wife and his grandparents disagree. He sits at home all night like a sloth playing video games when he's not working his part time job and I'm expected to always buy dinner for him and pamper him. Well it's more of an issue not that I'm doing it, but my wife is. My wife and I both own a business so my money is hers and hers is mine, so she feels it's her motherly duty to provide to him even though he's been an adult for 3 years now. I feel that since he has a job and is an adult he should be buying his own food, clothing and toiletries, but I'm the minority apparently. I've tried telling Bill this, but he says that he pays rent so the rent he pays should be paying for his items any way. That's not how I feel about it. I feel his rent should be paying for the water bill, the electric bill, and everything else he consumes way too much of. Our electric bill is $400 every month and I know most of it is because of him and his 11 game systems and 3 televisions he has running 24/7. But he doens't understand that eletricitiy isn't free and his 1-hour long showers every day aren't free either.

Food has been a major issue since he moved in, as well. We buy groceries, and he eats them all. That's what he does, is constantly eat while he plays video games. Which is funny because he's very thin and not fat. We can buy a gallon of milk and it's gone the next day along with 3 boxes of cereal. I buy food for myself at the grocery store that I specifically look forward to eating, and it's gone before I can even get to it. He doesn't consider that other people in the house need to eat. He only cares about himself. One time when he first moved I had boxed salmon I got from Oregon as a souvenir that was $50. I had it in the cupboard and even specifically told him not to eat it and that I was going to eat it myself on a special occasion. What do you know, I'm gone one day out working and I come home and it's gone and the box is in the trash. I confront him about it and he says "oops I forgot." It just makes me feel horrible that I cannot have anything that I specifically look forward to.

It's not that I can't share, and I don't want you to think I'm a stingy person. But Bill uses everything in excess, as long as it's not something he paid for. A bottle of shampoo which should last a family a month can be gone in a few days. It's ridiculous. Becaues of this we started eating out every night which has been incredibly expensive. But then Bill's grandparents complain that we aren't providing Bill food to eat and that it's child neglect (come on really? HE'S 21 and has a job!) and threaten us and call us assholes. So now whenever we go out to eat my wife insists on buying Bill food from the restaurant and bringing it home to him, which is sometimes even more expensive than all of the groceries he consumes. It just really puts a knot in my gut to have to hand deliever food to this lazy kid by walking into the house and into his room where he's sitting on his butt playing video games and having a good time, in the process asking him if he put the trash out to the curb and his response is "I'll do it later". I feel like his servant.

What should I do? At this point I feel my only option to get sleep again and regain my sanity is to get a divorce and sell my house, which would force him to move out.

The real kicker is besides all of these issues, Bill is a good kid. He doesn't do drugs or drink (don't even say "not that you know of" no really he doesn't). He isn't a criminal besides stealing things from me, and loves animals. When he's not making a racket or being a nuisance he's a pleasure to be around and fun. He has a lot of friends who all adore him.

TL:DR Step son is obnoxiously loud, will never stop, cannot be reasoned with, punishment doesn't work, he only cares about himself, I'm getting no sleep and going insane, I don't feel my belongings are safe, cannot kick him out, feel like selling my house and getting a divorce.

WampaLord posted:

She has an orgasm, then goes "Okay, that was great, now I'm done, night!"

Gaunab posted:

Glenn Quebec posted:

Lmao. I bet Don would make sure he'd get off too. Even better is that this guy is too much of an enormous wuss to just voice that he wants to gently caress.