/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

The woman with the creeplord husband who bangs her while she sleeps is very confusing only because she didn't kick the weirdo out of her bed forever ago AND somehow is still having regularly having consensual sex with him. It is quite troubling. :yikes:

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 08:30

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

something in r/legaladvice

Ex-wife is suing me for child support. I don't even have a penis...

yeah so a no-penised cancer patient is gettin sued for child support

Do you have a right to an attorney in a civil suit or would he have to defend himself

Because I'm 100% sure he would win this court case but there would have to be a court case. Maybe he could countersue for legal fees?

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:39

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

My boyfriend (20m) is keeping all my (19f) money

quote:

We've been together for almost 2 years, but known each other for 6.

To understand why he feels like he should, I'll explain the situation. We just moved into a new place and he payed the rent and damage deposit (1500 dollars) because I wouldn't be getting paid for awhile. He also probably spent a couple thousand more on stuff for the kitchen, food, a new TV, bathroom stuff and other house supplies. I didn't ask him to buy any of this (except food and other necessities) but I told him I'd pay him back for it all slowly over time (I make far less than he does).

I also owed him a little bit of money but he told me I could pay him back for that later. Since he paid both damage deposit and the rent, we decided I'll put 1500 into the place by paying the next two months rent. I don't have a problem with this at all.

Well, my paycheck came this morning and since I won't be able to pay with my next paycheck, I was thinking I'd have to use the whole thing on the rent. My hours were kindve lovely the last two weeks, so I thought I'd have enough to just break even and have nothing left afterwards (next month won't be the same, I'll have a lot left afterwards).

I checked my paycheck and alas, I discover I'll have about $50.00 left after the rent. I was more surprised than anything and decided I would use it to buy groceries. I texted my boyfriend and told him, and this is what he said: "Actually, you don't lol, your debts go past just rent if you forgot"

I told him he said I could pay him back for the stuff I owe him when I'm done paying the full rent for the next few months. Now he's ranting and raving at me for "going back on my word" I don't even really have a choice in the matter since he has my bank card.

He's bringing up how he bought me mittens and gloves (I needed them because I live in Canada and now since we moved I walk 30+ minutes to get to work, and it's freezing out) even though he bought them without me asking.

He's telling me I owe him 1300 dollars for this month and I don't understand how, since he told me he could pay me back after.

My heart hurts and I don't know what to do. I love him a lot but I don't want to feel like the money I work hard to make isn't actually mine to do with that I please.
Am I being unreasonable here? Apparently I am over $50.00. I don't know what to do.

TL;DR: boyfriend is taking all my money because I owe him even though we had a plan for me to pay him back later. I now have no money and need a second, unbiased opinion.

reddit he took my debit card what should i do?

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:41

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Nuebot posted:

Being the poor friend of rich people kind of sucks because either you feel like poo poo when they pay for stuff. Or you feel like poo poo because they're constantly talking about how awesome their life is and about the new and expensive stuff they have and you're just like "That's cool. I managed to pay my bills on time this month, so you know. Life's great over here."

Yeah while the OP there might indeed be a shitbird her frustration over the lopsided class dynamic is understandable.

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:45

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

I [25] am terrified of my girlfriend [22] getting pregnant because of my ex

quote:

Tl;dr my Ex was nuts pretended she was pregnant a lot and now I think my current girlfriend is always pregnant, it's hurting our relationship

Back when I was 14 I had a girlfriend who was a little bit nuts to say the least, I was with her 6 years and it's safe to say she's done some damage.

One of her biggest things was to make up that she was pregnant and then pretend to have a miscarriage, even before we were having sex she would say something like I must of not wiped my hand before I fingered her or something, when we did have sex it was always with protection but she'd tell me things like actually the condoms aren't actually that safe etc. What can I say I was a gullible kid. Then as I said she would always say she had a miscarriage and be upset for weeks before doing it all again. 6 years later I found out from one of her old friends she made this all up just for the attention and to see how I would react.

3 years into our relationship she actually did get pregnant and had a baby, after this she kept trying to get me to get her pregnant again claiming that the doctors said she has to have all her kids before she's 20 (they didn't) I refused and eventually swore of sex with her but the pregnancy scares didn't stop.

2 years later I found out our child wasn't mine, she had willingly cheated on me with her dads 50 year old friend and the baby was his (DNA test confirmed) stupidly I decided to stay

Then she went for the "well we should have one of our own" angle the scares continue until eventually she left me for someone who would give her kids (she now has 5)

But here's the big problem this whole thing has scarred me, when ever my current girlfriend says she feels ill or has a stomachache anything like I immediately start panicking thinking she's pregnant even if there is no way she is, and it's a really bad panic attack as well. My girlfriend understandably is getting pretty sick of it, I've seen doctors and therapists but nothing seems to help and I don't know what to do, we are currently on a bi weekly pregnancy test and it's killing me

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:45

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

bone app the teeth posted:

My boyfriend (20m) is keeping all my (19f) money

reddit he took my debit card what should i do?

This one's tough because we seem to have both a douchebag boyfriend and an unreliable narrator.

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:48

Carrion Luggage: Nov 24, 2006

loquacius posted:

Do you have a right to an attorney in a civil suit or would he have to defend himself

Because I'm 100% sure he would win this court case but there would have to be a court case. Maybe he could countersue for legal fees?

no free legal help from the state in civil matters

however, dude could represent himself easily with the papers explaining loss of cock

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:48

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I [25] am terrified of my girlfriend [22] getting pregnant because of my ex

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:52

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah while the OP there might indeed be a shitbird her frustration over the lopsided class dynamic is understandable.

except the op makes like way more money

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:55

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Pregnancy phobia dude needs some intense exposure therapy. He should get his current gf pregnant for starters.

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:59

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I [25] am terrified of my girlfriend [22] getting pregnant because of my ex

Wow. That's a whole lot of crazy from his ex.

# ? Oct 20, 2016 23:59

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:

there's a good one in r/legaladvice

[Dallas, TX] I found out that I [36M] am not the father of my daughter [11F] but my father [60s/M] is the father; my wife [34F] told me last night. Struggling to cope. What are my legal options?

lol

I'm desperately hoping that was typed with one hand and not genuine. I can't handle it if it is. Reminds me of the rape from Scandal though.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:09

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Jack Trades posted:

Jesus...some people have no shame.

A buddy of mine is on disability and his ex didn't ask for child support (she didn't want him in the kid's lives, divorced when the kids were pretty young, refused visitation rights on condition he didn't pay child support, yeah yeah, verbal agreement) until their oldest was just shy of 18, so now he lives on half of his disability paying back pay until he dies, pretty much. So, in a few short years (maybe three now?), he's just going to be sending his ex a monthly allowance because the kids will be out of the house.

He eats super cheap, because he has to and doesn't get out a lot.

His government housing still takes the same monthly amount out of his pay, so he's just SOL as far as money is concerned. His ex sends him ranting emails and public Facebook posts blaming him for their son's suicide ( two years ago now, he did an exit bag) every three months, give or take, and she still won't let him interact with his remaining children. It's not like he can afford to contest it, really. He's a p chill dude, total aspie though. I can see being married to a robot as frustrating. :shrug:

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:14

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Carrion Luggage posted:

no free legal help from the state in civil matters

however, dude could represent himself easily with the papers explaining loss of cock

Papers?

Just get on the stand and go commando

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:18

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Papers?

Just get on the stand and go commando

Objection, Your Honor, how do we know this evil man didn't cut off his own dick right before coming in so he wouldn't have to fulfill his obligation to his poor, innocent children *holds up adorable pictures of kids*

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:26

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Papers?

Just get on the stand and go commando

Witness my loins made barren, good people of the court! Gaze, stare and mock all you want, just know that you cannot hold me responsible for this one.
*Squeezes pee bag all over ex on way back to his seat*
THAT, you can hold me responsible for.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:27

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [32 F] with my husband [45 M] 6 years, he likes to push my buttons until I get to my breaking point

I keep getting angry at my husband because he loves egging me on and I get to that point of explosion and then I feel guilty, but then he doesn't want to talk to me. Had an incident this morning.

This morning my husband got up just before I was leaving to get my daughter to school. He asked me what I was wearing with a disgusted tone. It was a certain football team shirt that my mom bought me almost a year ago and I still have never worn it since I don't really care about them. I figured this would be its chance to have a use. He then asked me if I had my mom buy it for me for the tailgate. I said no and explained how it has been sitting for a year and I'd be fine not wearing one anyway and wouldn't make her buy me one for that.

I was trying to get my daughter to get to school a little earlier because I'm trying to get comp time in at work for a vacation coming up soon. Well she always is slow at getting ready and I'm often late for work on any regular day. We missed me being able to go in early. I still was trying to get her to go so I could be on time at least. He said to my daughter, "Mommy is just upset because she doesn't want to miss the tailgate party." No that is not what is upsetting me at all. The party is only during lunch anyway.

Then he's mad that I'm getting defensive and tells me I'm a B**** that I'm getting upset for no reason. Sorry that I don't like being late for work because it's bad ethic and I want to keep my job and look good for any future opportunities or be able to get a raise. Hard to get that stuff if I'm always late. I'm not even a work-a-holic but I'm the only one working to provide for our family. Yes, he's getting unemployment, but if I didn't have this job or lost it we would be so screwed. I want to provide for my family and not lose it. I want my daughter to learn what good work ethic is and realize that time is important. I don't want her to think I care about a tailgate more than her because that's not true at all, but I feel that's the message he gave her with those words. That I'm mad she's making me late for a tailgate party. Nope not at all. I'm mad because my husband is pushing my buttons about a stupid tailgate party at work and that I'm going to be late for work AGAIN. So I blew up at him and called him a bad name back and I shouldn't have. I should have just let him be and then explained to my daughter of why I was upset when I got in the car.

Is it OK for me to get upset when he prods me so much and tells my kids that other things are more important to me than them?? He hasn't talked to me all day and deleted a FB post I left him before our fight. It just seems whenever there is an event at my work he likes making me feel stupid for participating or that I'm a bad person for wanting to do it.

tl;dr: My husband loves to push my buttons and I get to a point of explosion and yelling. Then he'll tell me I'm angry for no reason. He basically tells my kids that I find other things more important than them when that isn't true. This seems to happen when I have a fun event at work. Is it OK for me to be upset or am I in the wrong?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 02:40

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

get your greedy peepers off my bepis : the thread

# ? Oct 21, 2016 03:05

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

mind the walrus posted:

Every morning there's a panty hangin
from the corner of my not-girlfriend's four post bed

I blew my chances but I'll see if I can use it
To humiliate myself on the internet because I'm a loving moron

I really like where you were going with this but the rhyme scheme/syllables really need some tweaking before somebody can make it a hit. Also it could be slightly more topical. Allow me to suggest:

[There] was this one time that I stole some panties from the hamper by my not-a-girlfriend's bed / then she found out, it was awkward and she stopped using emojis when she sends me texts / guess I'll ask the 'net... can we work this out?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 03:44

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

is tailgate party an euphemism for butt sex?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 03:46

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

HardDiskD posted:

is tailgate party an euphemism for butt sex?

It is, and you wouldn't want to be late for it. Otherwise you'd miss out on farting cum.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 03:57

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Devian666 posted:

It is, and you wouldn't want to be late for it. Otherwise you'd miss out on farting cum.

Truly, a chilling fate worse than not farting cum.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 04:04

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Me [25F] with my boyfriendad [27M] 3 years, trying to decide if we should stay together. What important questions do we need to ask?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 04:19

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

DOMDOM posted:

Me [25F] with my boyfriendad [27M] 3 years, trying to decide if we should stay together. What important questions do we need to ask?

This can't possibly mean what I think it means, can it?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 04:21

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Boyfriendad!

# ? Oct 21, 2016 04:30

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I [21F] accidentally insulted my boyfriend [23M] during sex, how to make it up to him?

quote:

I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we've never really had any relationship issues. Our sex life is great, although it's pretty vanilla. Recently he asked me if I wanted to try out some kinky stuff and I said I was up for it. I was expecting some blindfolds or pink fuzzy handcuffs, you know, stuff like that.

Last night we were having normal sex when out of nowhere he put on this weird voice and said "does my baby girl want daddy's cummies in her no no place?" I honestly thought he was trying to be funny and I burst out laughing. But he wasn't joking.

He got angry and said that I told him I was ok with kinky stuff. I tried to explain that that wasn't what I meant but he wasn't listening. Afterwards he just sulked around the house for a while before going back to his place. I texted him to apologize but he hasn't responded for a day which isn't normal for him. I feel bad for accidentally insulting him, how should I approach this situation?

tl;dr I wasn't into my boyfriend's attempt at kinky sex and he feels insulted, what to do?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:09

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nuebot posted:

This can't possibly mean what I think it means, can it?

I'm going to assume it means "my exclusive male romantic emotional and sexual partner whom I am currently engaged in a long-term affair with, also the father of my child."

E: and my father, of course

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:11

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

My [42F] nephew [20M] is telling everyone he has asthma like my son [12M] but he is just overweight. He stole 3 of my sons inhalers and he is refusing to pay for what he took.

quote:

My nephew is really overweight, like extremely big. I promise I don't mean to sound like a witch but he can't make it up the stairs without being short of breathe.
Recently 3 of my sons inhalers went missing, my son asthma is bad. He has really bad asthma attacks from time to time. My husband, children and I hosted a party the night before. So we thought maybe someone threw them out by mistake while drunk. We searched for them but to no luck.

Anyway my daughter [17F] heard from one of her cousins that Stewart has asthma. I called my sister and I asked if this was true and she said it is the first time she is hearing of it. She went into his room and she found my sons inhalers. Her son still lives at home and is not doing anything with his life. No college, no job, nothing.

You can tell they are my sons Asters because we have stickers on them. His little sister who is 7 put smiley faces on them because she believes it helps. My sister confronted him about it and he cam clean. He stole the inhaler and pretended to have asthma so people would not think he is out of shape.
I know he has no job, but those things are not cheap and honestly I am furious. I think he should pay for what he used because really 2 of them are broken. My sister does not think she should pay for them if he can't and is asking me to cut him a break.

I don't think I should, but I don't know what to do. This is really tearing a rift between myself and my sister. But at the same time it's like he stole my little boys inhalers, that to my is unforgivable.

tl;dr: Nephew stole sons inhalers

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:12

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Ride The Gravitron posted:

does my baby girl want daddy's cummies in her no no place?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:13

bone app the teeth: May 14, 2008

which one of you is this post about?

quote:

I just met this guy in one of my classes and he's nice but socially awkward. Sometimes he won't leave me alone and will try to get me to talk to him or notice him more even while our professor is lecturing. He'll start whispering to me, try and doodle on my notebook when I'm taking notes, and will stretch his legs out so our knees will "accidentally" touch. He's not a douche or a prick, he's a bit off and I know he doesn't mean to weird me out...I don't want to be rude to him since I think he's harmless but I don't like him trying to hit on me. I'm being nice because I don't know anyone in the class. How can I ask him to stop without making things weirder?

tl;dr: Classmate [20M] is being overly flirtatious and I [21F] don't know how to get him to stop without making things awkward

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:19

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

bone app the teeth posted:

which one of you is this post about?

lol if you think there are any goons under 27. it would make more sense if it was "[37m receding-harline mildly-overweight alcoholic sadbrains computer toucher who just picked up beginner weights] is being overly flirtatious...." following by the rest

# ? Oct 21, 2016 05:50

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

No you see these are demon bells not kettle bells. They cost a lot more and look really cool collecting dust on my klipsch speakers

# ? Oct 21, 2016 06:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I [21F] accidentally insulted my boyfriend [23M] during sex, how to make it up to him?

Somebody's clearly good at separating porn and reality. Yeaaahhh women love the "cummies in the no no" talk :wtf:

# ? Oct 21, 2016 06:54

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

She obviously wanted him to say stuff like "officer down!".

# ? Oct 21, 2016 06:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

She obviously wanted him to say stuff like "officer down!".

"commander shepard"

# ? Oct 21, 2016 06:58

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Pick posted:

Somebody's clearly good at separating porn and reality. Yeaaahhh women love the "cummies in the no no" talk

Men don't like that poo poo either.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 06:59

Stickfigure: Sep 4, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Children do though

# ? Oct 21, 2016 07:48

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Stickfigure posted:

Children do though

Why don't you have a seat right over there Mr. Stickfigure?

# ? Oct 21, 2016 08:16

Stickfigure: Sep 4, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Nuebot posted:

Why don't you have a seat right over there Mr. Stickfigure?

Hey, I' m a GREAT father, OK? I know what my daughter likes and needs.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 09:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 08:30

MageMage: Feb 11, 2007; I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Cumslut1895 posted:

can't hide your dumb posts that easily

Get over yourself. You just replied to a period.

MageMage fucked around with this message at 11:20 on Oct 21, 2016

# ? Oct 21, 2016 11:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »