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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Panfilo posted:

A rumor got started that one of my coworkers had a tiny wiener and none of the homeless women who give blow jobs in exchange for vending machine food out by shipping and receiving will even talk to him :sad:

Wait, why would a tiny wiener make people who would blow you for food not talk to you? Wouldn't a dainty dong be preferable to getting sizeable meat rods slammed down their throats by wannabe pornstars?

That sitch sounds kinda messed up all around.

:69snypa:

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snakeandbake
Aug 21, 2012

by exmarx

Pvt.Scott posted:

Wait, why would a tiny wiener make people who would blow you for food not talk to you? Wouldn't a dainty dong be preferable to getting sizeable meat rods slammed down their throats by wannabe pornstars?

That sitch sounds kinda messed up all around.

:69snypa:

who the gently caress wants to suck a tiny dick, i mean really

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I bet blowjobs with a tiny wiener are awesome if you have a partner who is into you. It's a lot of loss but the payoff is uh... Big.

Also glad to hear the dude whose girl has an ex love coming decided to dump her. No one wants to be a Baxter.

Nuebot
Feb 18, 2013

The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

snakeandbake posted:

who the gently caress wants to suck a tiny dick, i mean really

Man, for enough money I'd suck all the tiny dicks. I'd even tell everyone who asked they were actually huge.

And now for a flip of the ol' smelly boyfriend

quote:

Married for 2 and a half months, and my [30m] wife [28] has completely given up on her appearance/hygiene. Says she doesn't have to try anymore.
We've known each other 10+ years, dated for 5 and got married 2 and a half months ago. And honestly, I couldn't be happier except for how she has now changed some habits.

Before we got married, she showered everyday and definitely didn't wear makeup that much, but did make sure she presented herself nicely especially going out on dates.

I'm not the kinda guy that wants a wife who loads on the makeup and tries to look like a glamorous model 24/7. I prefer natural or just minimal makeup, and that's what she likes too.

But since getting married, she wakes up and doesn't even touch her hair. So usually it's a tangled mess even if we leave the house. She wears her pajamas all day long, even for days at a time. Showers maybe 2 times a week.

What really made me have to absolutely say something, was one night we were getting intimate.. And well, she smelled. She smelled awful. I tried going through with oral anyway, and I had to stop because it was awful. And she even smells like B.O. I can't take it. And I love her to death.

She isn't depressed and nothing is wrong. When I finally asked her about it and told her it's becoming an issue, and I asked if she was just depressed.. She said "no" and laughed and said "We are married now. I don't have to try to look nice and smell nice. I can be myself." and that's all fine and whatever.. But c"mon. It's getting out of hand and i don't know what to do. She's 100% on this whole thing about she can be herself and I need to accept it. I can.. But I can't accept the smell. She said I'm horrible for not just going through with sex like "a good husband" and said she would've for me anyway.

Tl;dr; Wife had given up on her appearance and hygiene after getting married. Says it's because she doesn't need to look and smell nice for me anymore and can be herself. She stinks and is mad I didn't go through with oral sex when she smelled awful.
Haha sucker, finally got married now I can smell all I want!

check out my Youtube
May 26, 2006

Satan's on my side
and you wanna brawl?
When the Devil comes
you better heed his Quall

Nuebot posted:

Haha sucker, finally got married now I can smell all I want!

I will never understand why people need persuading or incentive before they are willing to savor the privilege of a hot shower.
"Oh that thing that is warm and relaxing and invigorating and leaves us smelling like spices and flowers? Sorry but I prefer to always reek of sweat and unwiped rear end and I love to ruin my clothes with my horrific accumulations of bodily residue."

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007



Salty Josh posted:

Bros before hoes man.

The dude's friend hosed up, but its really messed up to judge him on things he did in high school when his hormones were peaking and poo poo like that. He was there when you had your downs so why would you desert him?

If he raped her though... yeh, better to just sever.
You suck

Rondette
Nov 4, 2009

Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.



Grimey Drawer

check out my Youtube posted:

I will never understand why people need persuading or incentive before they are willing to savor the privilege of a hot shower.
"Oh that thing that is warm and relaxing and invigorating and leaves us smelling like spices and flowers? Sorry but I prefer to always reek of sweat and unwiped rear end and I love to ruin my clothes with my horrific accumulations of bodily residue."

Sometimes I feel lazy and can't be arsed to have a shower, then I think to myself, 'Has anyone ever felt worse after having a nice warm shower?' and the answer is always 'no' so I go and have one and always feel better. That's my shower story.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014
I can even understand it when you're alone and just sitting around all day long and forget/don't care to shower and be a decent human being and not a human-shaped bag of garbage.

But physically having an actual other person in front of you telling you your crotch funk is loving up the loving and just going "haha whatevs" is some next level cold poo poo.

artsy fartsy
May 10, 2014

You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!
On the one hand, that girl is nasty.

On the other, I'm super jealous of anyone that free from shame and embarrassment. Girl does not give a gently caress.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I have gone periods without showering. They were always when I was suffering from heavy depression. I'd like to say that this might be the same, but then again people like this exist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY7m4KzYR4Q

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Nuebot posted:

Man, for enough money I'd suck all the tiny dicks. I'd even tell everyone who asked they were actually huge.

And now for a flip of the ol' smelly boyfriend

Haha sucker, finally got married now I can smell all I want!

Some people like this think of the search for marriage as the main story of their personal life, rather than life after marriage. This means that when you get married it's "The End" or "Happily Ever After." Those people end up divorced and find themselves in a sequel which isn't nearly as good as the original.

The way my wife puts it when talking about her parents' divorce, you want to think of your wedding as the prologue, not the epilogue.

But not even my father-in-law stopped showering or putting on real clothes for days at a time :wtc: I'm guessing she doesn't have a job, either. It doesn't seem like she'd even do housework.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [29F] fwb [34m] wont kiss me

So I just wanted to get some thoughts on this. I'll start off first by saying that Im not looking for advice about our situation (which is complicated and for another post!). Im just looking for thoughts in general.

So my fwb and I have known each other for 10 years. We started off dating (no sex but lots of making out) but he wasn't looking for a relationship, then we've both been in various relationships over the years with other people. A couple of years ago, after a bad breakup of mine, he became a fwb and it was a good situation for me at the time. It kind of petered off and about a year ago he randomly expressed feelings for me. I thought that would complicate the friendship we had at the time, so I said we shouldn't go there, especially since he thought a relationship wasn't possible since we're different in many ways. Recently we've started up a fwb again.

Here's the part I'd like some thoughts on. Last time we did this it was pretty normal: dinners out, hanging out, kissing, sex. This time though he doesn't want to kiss. It's frustrating for me, because kissing is a big part of foreplay for me, and I need it. I've brought it up recently and he said he's not against it, but then in the moment he avoids it, or kisses me back then kind of quickly pulls away (it's not about bad breath or bad kissing or anything, as a sidenote).

He knows I have feelings for him, and have expressed interest in trying a relationship, but he also knows I'm clear on what our situation is. Why do you think he won't kiss me, when he did last time we were in this situation? Is it an intimacy thing? He's mentioned before about protecting himself... Do you think he's put up some sort of wall to avoid feelings for me again and not kissing is part of that? I've googled this and know I'm not the only one wondering this, so why do guys sometimes do this in general? What's the big deal about kissing?

TL/dr: my [29f] fwb [34m] won't kiss me anymore during sex even though he has in the past, why do you think he/people in fwb situations do this?

kaschei
Oct 25, 2005

snakeandbake posted:

who the gently caress wants to suck a tiny dick, i mean really

I think in the first of these threads there was a woman asking how to reassure her lover after she said his dick was "cute." She mentioned that she really liked that going down on him didn't hurt her jaw, he took her dicksucking enthusiasm as an insult to his tiny dick or something.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Pick posted:

Touching a guy's chest is essentially code for "want to do it? Right now?"

goddammit

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


How to ask my [35 M] wife [42 F] of 7 years for access to her phone without too much collateral damage?

quote:

Hi all,

I searched for previous posts but had no luck so hopefully this is a unique enough question.

The situation: our relationship is a bit on the rocks (see my post history) though we're currently correcting course with some success (seeing counselors, making more time for each other, having a ton of great sex lately).

In spite of that I have a gut feeling that something is going on with her. Specifically, I worry that she may be having an affair (either emotional or physical). As part of our "working on things" I have asked her if she is now or ever has done anything and she has told me no. The trusting husband in me believes her. There's no evidence, no large chunks of time missing, and I do wonder if I'm just being paranoid, but... I can't shake the gut feeling.

A huge part of that is the fact that she keeps her phone locked down. We both had passcodes for awhile to keep the kids from messing with our phones, but I've taken mine off almost a year ago now. She's also changed her behavior regarding the phone: she used to be very absentminded about her phone, leaving it behind constantly when she went to work, now she always has it with her. She also has message notifications turned off so nothing ever pops up on her screen which I can't be 100% sure but I think is a new development.

There could be reasonable explanations for all of this, but given our recent rocky road it keeps nagging at me.

To the question: any tips for asking for access to her phone without making too much of a big deal out of it? I don't want to hurt her feelings (given everything else going on) or (in the worst case) give her enough warning to cover her tracks.

Honesty is probably the best policy but I guess I'm hoping somebody here either has some experience or clever conservational kung-fu. Thanks y'all.

tl;dr: She has a locked phone. I have suspicions. How best to get access without unnecessary pain?

Update:

quote:

Welp, she said she'll take the passcode off her phone...

...because she confessed to having an affair and has decided to be open with me.

She was loving the neighbor. FML ... what I am I going to do about my kids?

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
My fave tiny dick story from the last thread was guys girlfriend had a friend who said her boyfriend was really insecure about his penis size, so OP suggests the couple.goes with them to the nudie beach they frequent only to find out his dick is way smaller than the insecure guys

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


My [25/F] fiancé's [28/M] brother [25/M] drunk dialed me saying he's in love with me.

quote:

I've know both of them since college. I actually met the brother, Lucas, first. He was in the audience while I was performing a spoken word piece. Our friends knew each other, we met, etc, etc.

Lucas eventually introduced me to his older brother, Miles, and I was instantly "smitten" as they say. Miles and I started dating very quickly after we met. He's always been very assertive and confident, while Lucas is quiet and introverted.

Miles and I are now engaged. We're aiming the wedding for next year, hopefully in the summer unless something goes horribly wrong. Lucas is going to be best man.

We are very happy together.

Last night, Lucas called me at around one o'clock in the morning. Right away I knew something was wrong because he never calls, especially not so late. He's more of a texter. I didn't actually answer the call because I was in the bathroom. I figured I'd call him after I was done. He ended up leaving a message saying this word for word, "Jess ... Jess, my friend, how are you? I missed you at the bar last week. We were supposed to go to the karaoke place, remember? You're a terrible singer by the way. Smart and clever, but a terrible singer. Anyway ... I'm really drunk right now and I'll probably regret saying this in the morning if I can remember it but ... I love you, Jess. Weird, right? You're funny and beautiful and I love the gently caress out of you and I'm so sorry. You and Miles are a good couple. I'mhappy my brother found such an amazing person to spend his life with. I would say I wish I met you first, but I did, didn't I? Anyway ... sorry. Please don't tell Miles. I just wanted to say it out loud to you once. That's all. Bye."

I was in shock, and then I cried, and then I sat down and thought of everything that happened since I performed my spoken word all those years ago. I honestly had no idea. Lucas has dated and been in a few relationships since I've known him. He was only ever amazing to those girls. Kind, doting, respectful, loyal, the list goes on. He didn't say how long he's felt this way. Maybe it's new? I don't know. Either way I don't know what to do. Should I talk to him about it? Should I tell Miles? Should I take this to the grave and pretend I don't know?

I'd want to know if my sister had called my fiancé and admitted to being in love with him. But I don't want to strain my fiance's relationship with his brother. On top of that, Lucas was drunk ... he likely doesn't even remember he left the message.

TL;DR - I met the brother first. Now that my fiancé and I are officially engaged to be married, my future BIL called me to tell me he's in love with me. He did it without agenda it seems, and he asked me not to tell my fiancé. I don't know what to do.

Update: Miles came home a couple of hours ago. I played him the message expecting some level of shock or anger, but he just went, "Oh ... poo poo. Is he okay?" To my relief, Miles is honestly just concerned. He's not angry at all. In fact, he said he had an inkling that Lucas was, at the very least, attracted to me, but he had no idea it was love. He asked me how I feel about the situation, and I told him my only concern is our relationship. As much as I care about Lucas as a friend, I'm not entirely sure what he wants from me if anything at all. I'm marrying his brother in less than a year. On the one hand, I feel bad for him because unrequited love is a lovely thing and I've been there, but on the other ... I'm annoyed. I don't really know why I'm annoyed, just that I am. In any case, Miles thinks I should have a sit down with Lucas. I expected him to want to talk to his brother, but he said we should maintain the illusion that he doesn't know if only to spare Lucas the guilt and/or embarrassment. He knows his brother better than anyone, so I'll follow his lead on this. The thing is, I'm not even sure Lucas remembers leaving the message ... hopefully he does. I would hate to break the news.

I guess I'll post another update after meeting with Lucas. I still have no idea what to say. "Hey. You drunk dialled me saying you love me. What's up with that?" No, probably not a good approach ...


I think the best action here is to pretend this never happened.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

HardDiskD posted:

My [25/F] fiancé's [28/M] brother [25/M] drunk dialed me saying he's in love with me.


I think the best action here is to pretend this never happened.

If things go wrong the brother could become a redpiller/Nice guyTM

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Pick posted:

Touching a guy's chest is essentially code for "want to do it? Right now?"

Someone should make a big giant list of things like that and maybe less guys would be completely oblivious the signs.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
What about patting a dude on the chest, as a form of greeting? Asking for a friend.

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Jack Trades posted:

Someone should make a big giant list of things like that and maybe less guys would be completely oblivious the signs.

Pretty much any physical contact, looking at your eyes and then your lips a lot (as long as you're positive you've brushed your teeth) are pretty good signs.

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

What about patting a dude on the chest, as a form of greeting? Asking for a friend.

Gray area. You should probably just get wasted and Facebook chat your undying love on a weekday to find out.

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


Me [20's M] with my Brother/Girlfriend [20's M/F] forced me to confront them about their chronic arguing in our household.

quote:

After posting about this issue some months ago here I was given some very helpful advice. Essentially what the situation has become is that my brother and his girlfriend have developed a routine where they have become comfortable arguing within our home, mostly in his room. If they aren't arguing when she comes over on the weekend they are usually arguing over the phone.
In either case one or more of the family members is inevitably subjected to it as sound travels through walls unfortunately. Initial attempts consisted of asking my brother when his girlfriend wasn't around to stop arguing in our household as it was causing stress. They continued to argue in our household.

Next we would call or text him mid argument and tell him to stop i the hopes that by intervening in the moment that they would get the point. They continued to argue.
At this point you're in a pickle, they won't stop because they are so emotionally involved when arguing that they can't see the light so you have to consider refusing to allow the person who doesn't live in your house to come over anymore. Unfortunately my parents lack conflict resolution skills in this particular area and haven't come to terms to do such a thing yet. My mother is very fond of his girlfriend and it pains her to have to intervene in such a manner. My father has put up with various other issues surrounding my brother and I which I won't go into but suffice to say he wants little to do with this awkward situation though he agrees that refusing her from coming over to the house is something that will have to happen if they can't stop.

So here we are now after trying multiple methods to bring the issue to their attention and it's still ongoing. Last weekend I entered their room mid argument to confront her in person and address the issue, something that no one else has done but instead addressed the issue through my brother who has failed to produce results. I calmly laid out the situation to her that it was bothering my family and it needed to stop, they both were already aware that it was a problem and appeared to be visibly ashamed offering no rebuttal but agreeing to comply.
They argued without fail the weekend after. This sparked a flame inside me that I generally reserve for the most despicable of individuals, the kind of hateful fire that burns inside of you when someone challenges your quality of life and continues to do so after your best attempts at protecting it. I downed a cup of wine to calm my nerves, turned on my phone camera to record the conversation to be had, and burst into his room mid argument.
What ensued what a initially cool headed addressing of the irrefutable facts. That they were incessantly arguing in our household for months and despite concerned family members asking them to stop they wouldn't. I spoke to his girlfriend directly and inquired to whether she was aware that her conscious decision to challenge my brother and cause a scene every time she came over was fair to my parents, she seemed embarrassed and gave me nothing but compliant answers the entire time I spoke.
My brother on the other hand grew increasingly agitated as I spat out cold hard logic in my wine fueled rant and started to question whether he was actually bothering anyone else but me. He tried to misdirect their arguing to my personal shortcomings (I've been unemployed for some time) saying things like I only hear the arguing because I'm in my room so often. It was a incredibly desperate attempt to defend himself at the sudden attack I brought onto their normal routine.

I checked every one of his attempts with facts and didn't fall into the trap of personally attacking him which is a tradition of ours whenever we used to get into our own arguments. I wanted to make them uncomfortable like they make the family and pressed them hard. I offered numerous alternatives that would spare us of their second hand debates, my brother instead offering that he would "work on it," insinuating that I should expect to hear them continue to argue in the future and most of all that he actually believed it was an acceptable behavior. Wrong. I got aggressive at that point and spelled it out that it wasn't okay to argue in our household at all. Take it to her house. Take it to a hotel. I don't care as long as it isn't here.
He started to doubt whether it actually was bother my parents since their room isn't directly next to his unlike mine though they can easily hear it. The fact that both of my parents already addressed him about it being a problem seemed to have slipped his mind but I made sure to remind him of it. I mentioned that she will likely be refused access to our home if they can't stop which appeared to trigger my brother somewhat where he stated I wasn't the homeowner and couldn't make that decision (true) but I made sure to clarify that it was what they were forcing the situation to come down to.
The conversation went downhill from that point as my brother became increasingly frustrated at my coherent dismantling of his behavior and he started to use all of the tactics he was used to whenever we attacked each other, trying to talk over me, bringing up unrelated matters that I negatively affected him by in the past, etc. I wasn't having any of it and stayed true to my initial goal but we were causing a scene which forced my parents to intervene, with good intentions of course as this was needed, and they broke us up.
The day after the event I'm here writing a post about it to get outside unbiased opinions. I'm not honestly expecting them to stop but my goal was to provide a dramatic example to shake them out of apathy. No one had personally intervened them and really spelled it out for them until then. They're aware now that someone is willing to go to considerable lengths to discourage them from continuing this routine.

Personally I'm bothered that I've had to resort to such actions to stop a very obvious detriment to our households quality of life, my brother and his girlfriend have some serious issues that causes them to butt heads on a consistent basis to such a point that they willingly and knowingly do it what should be a place of refuge for us. I've grown to hate all of this girls quirks, sounds, and bad habits. Wiping her lipstick on the community hand towel in the bathroom, moaning loudly during sex (forgot to mention this one earlier but ffs), coughing at all hours of the night, I could go on but frankly I'm getting triggered thinking about them.
Some final points I feel are important to include in this lengthy post is that my brother is an active opiate/benzo addict which has an obvious influence on his behavior and may be part or most of the reason he engages in such frequent arguments. The other is that this girl had a thing for me in the past in the one night we socialized but I never pursued due to personal difficulties at the time. It's possible, though this may be stretching it, that she is vindictively engaging my brother in these arguments out of some form of spite. Again this is just a theory but it's such a toxic situation that I can't help but consider it.

TLDR: After dealing with my brother and his girlfriends incessant arguing within our household with no effective results by asking him personally to put an end to it I burst into his room during one of their debates and addressed her personally of the issues it's causing to me and my parents. She was embarrassed and only provided basic answers to the questions I asked her, my brother on the other hand tried to defend his right to argue saying that he would work on it but that expecting them to stop immediately was too much. At that point the talk went downhill as he got personal and off topic which forced our parents to break us up. I'm unsure of whether my attempt will effectively stop them or if refusing her asylum in our home is the only real solution.
never has one man ever been so proud of himself for arguing with his brother about arguing

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Tolkien minority posted:

Me [20's M] with my Brother/Girlfriend [20's M/F] forced me to confront them about their chronic arguing in our household.

never has one man ever been so proud of himself for arguing with his brother about arguing

he downed a glass of wine before arguing what a badass

Benagain
Oct 10, 2007

Can you see that I am serious?
Fun Shoe
sparked a flame within him that he usually only reserves for the most despicable of individuals jesus christ

kierrie
Jun 7, 2010

Tolkien minority posted:

Me [20's M] with my Brother/Girlfriend [20's M/F] forced me to confront them about their chronic arguing in our household.

never has one man ever been so proud of himself for arguing with his brother about arguing

needs a tl;dr for the tl;dr

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all
I'm a huggy motherfucker, (I ask first) so physical contact with me doesn't mean I wanna gently caress you. It means I'm glad to see you or that I'm sad that you're sad so I gave you a hug. Admittedly, I'm not a chick in a bar, though. I might also want to gently caress you, but that's true of any human relationship.

On the subject of tiny dicks and blowjobs, I'm pretty sure I missed out on a beej in high school. I was back stage with a cute little girl working on some theater stuff and it was just us, everyone else that period was doing stuff in the classroom. We were just chatting and working on stage props and out of nowhere she says, "I prefer guys with smaller dicks because it's way easier to give them head."

Cue me being an awkward virgin fundie Christian goon and just kinda awkwardly changing the subject. Looking back, she purposefully volunteered to work alone in an isolated situation with me, had to have asked someone in PE or Weightlifting about my dillz and found out it wasn't exactly impressive, been ok with that, dropped the closest thing to "would you like to maybe gently caress?" she could manage while also trying to head off any sort of inadequacy issues I might have had (a ton) and then been rejected. I feel bad for her. :smith:

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
I wonder what they're constantly arguing about. Are they even boyfriend and girlfriend or are they just in a heated debate that they don't want to end?

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

HardDiskD posted:

he downed a glass of wine before arguing what a badass

I would hate to be coherently dismantled by that guy.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

McGavin posted:

I would hate to be coherently dismantled by that guy.
I'm laughing at the tone of self-seriousness already, is the text worth going through all of? He comes off a little ignatius reilly.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Tolkien minority posted:

Me [20's M] with my Brother/Girlfriend [20's M/F] forced me to confront them about their chronic arguing in our household.

never has one man ever been so proud of himself for arguing with his brother about arguing

I love how the only comment is that he needs to get a life. :allears:

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I'm laughing at the tone of self-seriousness already, is the text worth going through all of? He comes off a little ignatius reilly.

The dude is 90% Ignatius Reilly. I took off 10% because he doesn't mention his valves or Boethius.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
My favorite is the little dig at the end about how the girlfriend totally wanted to bone him first. I wonder how many ladies this fair goon has had to turn down.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Gray area. You should probably just get wasted and Facebook chat your undying love on a weekday to find out.

Way ahead of you, buddy.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


That post needs a dramatic reading stat

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Pvt.Scott posted:

I'm a huggy motherfucker, (I ask first) so physical contact with me doesn't mean I wanna gently caress you. It means I'm glad to see you or that I'm sad that you're sad so I gave you a hug. Admittedly, I'm not a chick in a bar, though. I might also want to gently caress you, but that's true of any human relationship.

On the subject of tiny dicks and blowjobs, I'm pretty sure I missed out on a beej in high school. I was back stage with a cute little girl working on some theater stuff and it was just us, everyone else that period was doing stuff in the classroom. We were just chatting and working on stage props and out of nowhere she says, "I prefer guys with smaller dicks because it's way easier to give them head."

Cue me being an awkward virgin fundie Christian goon and just kinda awkwardly changing the subject. Looking back, she purposefully volunteered to work alone in an isolated situation with me, had to have asked someone in PE or Weightlifting about my dillz and found out it wasn't exactly impressive, been ok with that, dropped the closest thing to "would you like to maybe gently caress?" she could manage while also trying to head off any sort of inadequacy issues I might have had (a ton) and then been rejected. I feel bad for her. :smith:

You suck. She did everything possible for you

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007

:slick: :slick: :slick: :slick:
Updated from flirting gf-chest toucher:

Updat: My girlfriend [22F] flirts with guys and I'm [28M] at my limit. Now on lockdown

quote:

Here's the OP:
My girlfriend [22F] flirts with guys and I'm [28M] at my limit

I spoke with my girlfriend about her behavior and it was bad.

I'm writing this to the best of my memory

OK, so this afternoon, more like 30 minutes ago. My girlfriend came over after I called her and told her I need to speak to her. She kept asking me what was wrong on the phone. I told her to just come over. She became angry and started yelling over the phone. "Just tell me!"

I told her to relax and just come over. After several minutes of her demanding me to tell her what I wanted to say, she came over. She was upset/nervous and had her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.
Note: She's 5'7, 150lbs.

I brought her in and she stood in my living-room. I was firm and I told her how I have been feeling. I told her to sit and I told her that due to her behavior with how she acts around other men, her anger from time to time and the phone checking that I was fed up.

I told her that she has been ignoring my feelings and has been disrespecting me frequently. I was tired of her double standards and that I wasn't going to be disrespected anymore.

She kept trying to interrupt me but I was firm and told her that she needed to stop talking so I could say what I needed to say.

I explained that I was done with her flirting as it was disrespectful and classless. That if she wishes to continue that behavior then she CAN continue, but I wouldn't be around anymore for it.

I gave her specific examples and told her that this was it. She either change her behavior or I was gone.
She told me that she is just really friendly with people and that people always mistake her being nice for flirting. That she was just having fun and that I was reading too much into it.

She said, "You're just being insecure, my last boyfriend did the exact same crap you're doing. I eventually left him because he would accuse me of the exact same thing!"

I told her "No, you're being disrespectful and I done with it. If you can't see the problem then there is no way for this to work" I told her that her behavior was pushing me away and causing me to think about our future. I told her that I’m at an age where this behavior is not acceptable for me. She then became physically angry and started yelling and the situation began to escalate. She was clenching her fists and said "You are so enraging!" while looking up at the ceiling.

"No, I am not. I'm telling you how I'm feeling and you're getting upset", I said.
She then began to cry a sort of angry cry and said that "OMG! I was just being nice!"
I told her to calm down and she said "gently caress you! This is bullshit!"

I then told her not to talk to me like that. "Don't swear at me like that, I never swear at you, not once. Get your anger in check, what kind of marriage would we have if you continue to behave like this?” I said. I went to hold her hand to help her calm down and she pushed my hand away "No! Don't loving touch me, rear end in a top hat!", she said.

Then sadly, I realized that there was no getting through to her. I dropped the bomb. "I can't do this anymore, I want to breakup"

She starred at me in a state of shock for several moments. Looked away. She then got up. I got up as well. I asked if she was going to be alright.

She got in my face and said "We're on a break!!!". Grabbed her backpack and a bunch of books fell out. She grabbed them walked by me, purposely hitting her shoulder against me and the she left my apartment.

Then the breakdown happened. She got to her car. Stood over it for a few seconds and then she began hitting her OWN car with her backpack and books. Kicking and puffing up her cheeks like Thomas the Train. (Best reference I could think of).

It was like there was nothing but anger and it completely took over. She then got in her, now dented, car and drove off.

I watched this entire episode of her meltdown in complete horror. I've seen her upset before but man, never would I ever take a college biology book to my JEEP. My heart was going a million miles a minute. The whole time thinking “Oh no”.

Then, after 5 minutes she came back. Got out of her car and started pounding on the door of my apartment. Yelling things like "I hate you! How could you do this! You're breaking my heart! I looked through the peep hole and she was pounding and sliding down my front door yelling, crying and having a total meltdown. She then started pleading with me to let her in. She was face first on the floor kicking and crying.
NOPE.

I kept quiet, eventually after several minutes she did leave. I did not call the police, yet.

I don't think I've ever been this frightened in my whole life. I suddenly realized just what I was involved with.

She doesn't have a key to my place, no legal ties of any kind.

Safe to say it's over romantically but I'm just wondering what's next?

Considering what I just witnessed. I firmly believe I made the right decision. I want to thank you all for your help and kind support, seriously.

tl;dr: I broke up with my girlfriend, she had a dramatic exit, what should I do?

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Updat: My girlfriend [22F] flirts with guys and I'm [28M] at my limit. Now on lockdown


Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

quote:

I don't think I've ever been this frightened in my whole life.

What a loving wuss.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007

:slick: :slick: :slick: :slick:
Also just realized he screwed up his girlfriend's age, again

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Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
hello im a 28 year old man, the scariest thing that ever happened to me was a 22 year old girl hitting her jeep with a book. stay safe america.

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