/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Leon Einstein posted:

That guy had the right idea. Give that chick the slip.

How does she not know that she's his chicken head

# ? Oct 28, 2016 03:29

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# ? May 9, 2024 12:05

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Facebook Aunt posted:

You're going to have hard times that are at least partly your own fault too, and you want your family to be there for you then.

Like... have you even read this thread?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 03:34

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

everyone is bad people

# ? Oct 28, 2016 03:51

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

I enjoyed this thread so I decided to check out r/relationships for myself and it seems like that entire subreddit is just a pit of awkwardness and sexual frustration.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 04:31

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

SweetKarma posted:

I enjoyed this thread so I decided to check out r/relationships for myself and it seems like life is just a pit of awkwardness and sexual frustration.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 04:33

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

I'm just glad I'm here in GBS posting with all the other well adjusted sex havers.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 04:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

i am just phone posting from the bathtub because i am cooolllddd

and reading about bubonic plague

# ? Oct 28, 2016 04:45

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

SweetKarma posted:

I'm just glad I'm here in GBS posting with all the other well adjusted sex havers.

I'm actually rocking a stable loving relationship for the first time ever but this thread is making me paranoid as hell

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:15

Mordja: Apr 26, 2014; Hell Gem

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I'm actually rocking a stable loving relationship for the first time ever but this thread is making me paranoid as hell

Just take Reddit's advice to heart and you'll be fine.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:24

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

Reddit help me, I'm 22 and my life is over!

Bareback Werewolf fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Oct 28, 2016

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:29

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

mind the walrus posted:

I've cut parents out of my life for way less. I'd say watching their hearts break as they realized their children felt nothing for them was satisfying, but that would imply I cared enough to feel that. I did notice it though. It was weird. Like they turned into children again themselves.

you're not a good person

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:46

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

UGHHHHH mom! gently caress you dad! I'm Doug, and I'm outta heeeeeere

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:48

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Sometimes people's parents aren't good people and it's best to sever. Someone recognizing that doesn't make them a bad person.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 05:54

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

big trivia FAIL posted:

you're not a good person

You know absolutely nothing about me.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Sometimes people's parents aren't good people and it's best to sever. Someone recognizing that doesn't make them a bad person.

And I very well might have been wrong to sever. I can admit that and own it. I made my choice and I will live with it.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:00

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

My parents are cool, I love them and I miss seeing them because we live 10 hours away from eachother so only get to see them a couple times a year

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:02

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

Charles Get-Out posted:

Sometimes people's parents aren't good people and it's best to sever. Someone recognizing that doesn't make them a bad person.

When their phrasing makes them sound like a sociopathic autist, it's pretty clear

mind the walrus posted:

You know absolutely nothing about me.

Your post says all it needs to

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:05

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

quote:

I [M15] regret telling my mom that I have depression.

Recently I told my mom about my depression and she thinks that by ignoring negative thoughts and forcing yourself to be motivated will fix it. She always says to me: "you control your body, not your brain" and I can't even comprehend how stupid she sounds the things she says. It just makes me even more depressed because she doesn't understand.
She believes that I don't have depression for some reason and thinks that I just want medication to be a junkie. She thinks that me smoking pot leads to me being a future drug addict (because I was caught with it like any other teen). She thinks that all medication is just so pharmaceutical companies can get money.
I can't change her view no matter what. It's so complicated arguing with a mom that has ADHD that leads to conclusions all the time. I feel like she's doing this on purpose because I had an appointment with a psychiatrist but apparently my mom missed it and didn't even tell me what the date was for. So now, I have another one in like 20 days and I bet she'll make a excuse for that one to miss it.
tl;dr my mom thinks she knows how depression works

Teenage angtsy "no gently caress you mom" and a dumbass for a mom.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:04

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

I (34/M) would say I shook with glee at the sight of my mother's bashed in skull, but that would imply I felt a thing for the old bitch. I had steeled myself in years long past, immune to whatever "empathy" means. Don't get me started on my father, the old drunk - such nerve to think he could take away my super nintendo

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:08

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

big trivia FAIL posted:

When their phrasing makes them sound like a sociopathic autist, it's pretty clear

Your post says all it needs to

I am autistic. You know nothing of my life.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Teenage angtsy "no gently caress you mom" and a dumbass for a mom.

What happens when the insufferable shithead and the incompetent know-it-all meet?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:12

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

Nooner posted:

My parents are cool, I love them and I miss seeing them because we live 10 hours away from eachother so only get to see them a couple times a year

My wife and I moved back home to be closer to our parents because we love them and they us, and we want them to grow old with their grandchild nearby.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:11

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

mind the walrus posted:

I am autistic

Yes....that was obvious

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:13

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

big trivia FAIL posted:

Yes....that was obvious

Then consider that your judgment is presumptive and arrogant.

big trivia FAIL posted:

My wife and I moved back home to be closer to our parents because we love them and they us, and we want them to grow old with their grandchild nearby.

I am glad you have this kind-of relationship.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:14

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

mind the walrus posted:

I am autistic. You know nothing of my life.

What happens when the insufferable shithead and the incompetent know-it-all meet?

is I am autistic the new im gay? cause I dont know if I can get behind this one?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:13

big trivia FAIL: May 9, 2003; "Jorge wants to be hardcore,
but his mom won't let him"

mind the walrus posted:

Then consider that your judgment is presumptive and arrogant.

But it was correct. Reconcile that with your robot innards

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:14

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

This is cheating kinda, but topical! /r/raisedbynarcissists is a perfect storm of angst, melodrama, and broken parent/child relationships

More and more i see my mother as a creature to be pitied instead of despised...

quote:

...as a sad, insecure thing that lashes out and tries to buy love with the shallowest of gestures and unwanted gifts; as a child in an adult's body who had their candy taken away and never given back; as a cluster of fears and hurts that will never, ever be truly alleviated, like Gollum forever chasing after The One Ring.
I have moments when i wish she were dead, and moments when i want to correct her or scold her like a parent to a toddler, and moments when i want to hold her and tell her that it is okay and that she has nothing to prove, and that she can stop putting on airs and just allow herself to feel; and then i realize that i have to redirect that empathy and love to myself, because that's what i've been missing my whole life, and i'll never be okay until i do. Because she doesn't deserve that-- at least from me. She lost the gift of my love long, long ago.
I have to be my own parent.

edit: bonus round

Me [24F] with my boyfriend [46M] lied to me about his age and I'm not sure I can get over it.

quote:

Throwaway account, sorry.
So, we met online, about a year and a half ago. When we were chatting, I was 22 and he told me he was 35. Now at the time, I thought this age gap was too much, but I was okay to overlook it because to be honest, it was only ever something casual. I intended to date him and have sex with him for a little while and didn't expect it to go much further than that. Having spoken to him about this since then, he was on the same page.
But then we got really attached to eachother. It was going SO well. And obviously we were both apprehensive about the age gap, but when it worked so well for us, it seemed foolish to give up on something which could be so great. I am mature for my age, and it sounded as though he drink and drugged his way through his twenties and only recently grew up himself. So we matched well, in maturity, intelligence, humour, sexual attraction. Everything was great.
And then, about six months ago, I discovered that he had lied about his age. I found out that he was not 12 years older than me, he was 22 years older. Twice my age. And understandably, I was shocked. I cried, I shouted, I hated him. He cried, he felt guilty, he tried to apologise.
We talked for hours about it. He said that he had said he was ten years younger than he was because that is how he felt. Its how he looks. And for various reasons, he essentially lost ten years of his life in terms of life experiences and maturing. Honestly, hand on heart, I get that. He is so believable as 36, and I understood his reasons for it.
I have to say here that I never promised that I would be okay with it, but I did say that I understood. I said that I loved him, which I still do, and I was okay to try and work through it. He had been hiding so much from me in an effort to preserve this, and after he'd talked me through it, it was like a weight had been lifted from him.
Unfortunately, I'm starting to feel like that weight is on me now. Its been niggling me ever since I found out. Recently he's been on a health kick which I know is for my benefit, as he is unfortunately starting to look his age. It's a huge turnoff for me.
I'm starting to feel as though the relationship is doomed. I completely love him. He is my best friend, he understands me more than anyone else I know and we have so much fun together. BUT, I don't know how to get over this issue. I feel as though I should have thought about this months ago, before he introduced me to his family (including his child) and friends and before he met my parents. It feels unfair of me to still feel as though this is a problem now. I have tried so many times to convince him that our age difference isn't a problem although I'm now realising that it is for me. It really wasn't until I was faced with his looming grey hairs and the prospect of really settling down with him. Now it is and I don't know what to do.
I'm wondering whether to wait and see how it goes - perhaps its the sexual spark which has dwindled after all this time and that just needs reigniting. My worry is that the fact I'm less attracted to him isn't going to change as he starts to look older. Because really, thats the only problem. Otherwise, we are perfect. He is everything I would want in a husband and father of my children.
Sorry if that was a bit rambling and didn't make much sense... its hard to explain all the emotions and the full situation without including a hundred other things that seem relevant. My questions are essentially this: is it likely to be something that will just take more time? Has anyone had any experiences of big secrets that they have discovered about their partner? Is there any way to know whether my lack of attraction for him is down to him aging or just a normal lull in sex of a ltr? If this is something I need to discuss with him, how on earth can I do it without really hurting his feelings?
tl;dr: I found out 6 months ago that my boyfriend of a year had been lying about his age (said he was 35, was actually 45 - I'm 24) and although its been fine, I'm now worried I can't get over it and don't know what to do.

tl;dr: I got into an online relationship with a literal manchild and trapped myself in his web of insecurities. Also I think he's gross now and I could be his daughter, but I can power through not being attracted to him somehow right??

Nancy fucked around with this message at 06:27 on Oct 28, 2016

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:19

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Pick posted:

i am just phone posting from the bathtub because i am cooolllddd

and reading about bubonic plague

I wish I had a good bathtub.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:52

Defiance: Jan 1, 2008; by Deplorable exmarx

mind the walrus posted:

I've cut parents out of my life for way less. I'd say watching their hearts break as they realized their children felt nothing for them was satisfying, but that would imply I cared enough to feel that. I did notice it though. It was weird. Like they turned into children again themselves.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 06:58

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

big trivia FAIL posted:

But it was correct. Reconcile that with your robot innards

stop trying to epic pwn him please, we get it

# ? Oct 28, 2016 08:44

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Better Fred Than Dead posted:

My parents renewed their vows on their 10 year anniversary and it came out that my mom was cheating on my dad like the next weekend

Really good. Great. Awesome. Didn't gently caress me up.

Well: it was the least damaging thing to come outta being raised by two alcoholics and a narcotic addict

Wait--you had three parents? Mom, dad, and the maid?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 10:00

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Defiance posted:

My mother bought crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth and I cut that bitch out of my life. I don't even make eye contact when I come upstairs, and I refuse to acknowledge her presence at dinner. My wife is doing the same, and we are keeping her grandchild out of view in the basement at all times.

I know a guy who ended a friendship over a $20 loan. Are you his brother, by any chance?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 10:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [25M] "friend" said some lewd stuff about my GF [24F] of 1 year (stripper). I cut him out but now my friends are telling me to let it go.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I was set on what to do, but a few of my friends who I trust are telling me otherwise.

Background: My gf Kasie and I have been dating a little over a year now. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. She's beautiful, funny, intelligent, compassionate. I could go on, but you get the point. I'm head over heals. She's also a stripper. She's not ashamed of it, I'm not ashamed of it, it's her job. Also she's really good at it, and makes great money for how much she works.

She's a student during the day, takes care of her 17 year old sister who lives with her, and is a stripper by night. She's a god damned superhero. She strips because she makes better money than a minimum wage job, and it's better for her school schedule. Like I said, she's not ashamed of it. She doesn't go around wearing a shirt that says "I'm a stripper" but when she feels comfortable with people she doesn't hide it.

I have a tight group of 6 friends. My gf hangs out with them often enough and fits in really well, so obviously she told them what she does for work. No problems from anyone except "Chip." Chip is an rear end in a top hat, and the only person in the group I'm not close to. He's been hanging out with us for years now, and we play some sports together, but honestly I never hang out with him other than in the group because I don't really care for him.

After my friends first found out he made some comments along the lines of, "Hey man, where's your girlfriend tonight? Some other guys lap?" I called him out and told him to knock it off. He did for awhile.

Three weeks ago he went too far. He was telling some story about what he got for a couple hundred bucks in a strip club once. I feel like he made the story up to get at me, but who knows. My other friend and I jokingly called bs because he's a notoriously bad tipper (just another reason to dislike him) and we ragged on him that he was too cheap to spend that much money. Maybe a joke in poor taste in hindsight, but everyone laughed even Chip. Then he said he could probably get the same from my gf because if he's holding cash they'll come running (and I quote) "If we're going to talk about "cheap" what better place to start than with a stripper."

That was it for me. I made sure to tell him how much of an rear end in a top hat he was, and that I was glad I wouldn't have to spend any more time with him (not very classy I know, but it felt good). He texted me half assed apology since then, but I really don't care at this point. I know what type of person he is, and I don't want to be associated with him.

The problem is that I've stopped hanging out with the group when he's there and my friends want me to come back. I've seen a few of my friends individually over the last few weeks and they all agree he went too far, but they also want me to come back and make up with him so that I'll come around the group again. Thing is, I don't really want to. Kasie is very important to me, we're planning on moving in together when her school year is out and I very much intend to marry her someday. I do miss hanging out with everyone together, but the way I see it I don't want to be a part of a group where someone can belittle my SO and I'm supposed to just make up when it happens. It's happened more than once too! That's unacceptable in my book. I told him to stop, and he took it further.

I'm starting to doubt myself because I trust my friends. Am I being too stubborn here? It feels like my friends don't really have my back and they just want me to stop making waves. I should add that I told my gf what happened and she felt like she was responsible somehow for disrupting things. She shouldn't have to feel like that. She did absolutely nothing wrong. It makes me kind of not want to see any of my friends seeing as they seem to have Chip's back. I don't know, maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Any advice on what to do/tell my friends would be greatly appreciated.

---

tl;dr: A friend in my close circle said some nasty stuff about my gf (stripper). I don't really want to hang out with the group anymore if he's there, but they want me to come back and make up so things can go back to the way they were.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:00

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

What a bunch of assholes, :sever:

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:05

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Charles Get-Out posted:

Teenage angtsy "no gently caress you mom" and a dumbass for a mom.

I had depression at that age and my parents brushed it off and downplayed it as well - with only a half-hearted apology about ten years later for getting it wrong when they realised I still have it - it loving sucks so I have to empathise with the kid here. I internalised the idea that I probably was just an angsty teenager and any doctor/therapist would laugh me away so I never got the help I needed.

I mean, he could just be a little turd but it's not really an assumption I'm comfortable making.

Lunchmeat Larry fucked around with this message at 14:19 on Oct 28, 2016

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:09

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Strippers with hearts of gold only exist in fiction .

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:42

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Dude's doing it wrong. If you're gonna make fun of a guy for dating a stripper, say she's a con artist using him for money.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:46

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Leon Einstein posted:

Strippers with hearts of gold only exist in fiction .

And also in my secret closet where I keep my victims.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:50

kuddles: Jul 16, 2006; Like a fist wrapped in blood...

Charles Get-Out posted:

Me [24F] with my boyfriend [46M] lied to me about his age and I'm not sure I can get over it.

tl;dr: I got into an online relationship with a literal manchild and trapped myself in his web of insecurities. Also I think he's gross now and I could be his daughter, but I can power through not being attracted to him somehow right??

"My boyfriend kept a major lie about being a decade older than he claimed from me for over a year, and when finally caught he provided another bullshit lie to explain his reason for that lie, but also he's like my best friend. Also, I lost my sexual desire for him. Reddit, please confirm that once I marry him and start a family, these issues will disappear."

Look, I know the longer you commit yourself to another human being, the more difficult it seems to sever and how it almost feels like that time is wasted, but half of these r/relationship posts are so depressing on a "if I just keep gambling eventually I'll make enough money to pay off all these gambling debts" level.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:53

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Jack Trades posted:

And also in my secret closet where I keep my victims.

Is it a secret if you tell everyone?

# ? Oct 28, 2016 14:53

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

I like how that guy cares more about his friend saying his girlfriend is in another guy's lap than his girlfriend actually being in some guy's lap.

# ? Oct 28, 2016 15:05

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# ? May 9, 2024 12:05

karms: Jan 22, 2006; by Nyc_Tattoo; Yam Slacker

Nooner posted:

is I am autistic the new im gay? cause I dont know if I can get behind this one?

being autistic is so f*cked up even your soul is protesting when u try to pretend to be one anonymously on an internet forum

# ? Oct 28, 2016 15:04

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