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Billions on carriers and fighter jets yet no loving spoons
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Nov 3, 2016 18:42
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They don't have plasticware in the galley anymore (as they ended hot to go), but kept the to go approved container (cups) from the galley, but prevented the taking of drinks in said cups; therefore people could only leave with cup based foods (ice cream and soup) and no plasticware, a perfect storm for spoon attrition.
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Nov 3, 2016 18:42
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Wasabi the J posted:They don't have plasticware in the galley anymore (as they ended hot to go), but kept the to go approved container (cups) from the galley, but prevented the taking of drinks in said cups; therefore people could only leave with cup based foods (ice cream and soup) and no plasticware, a perfect storm for spoon attrition. 
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Nov 3, 2016 18:47
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Shoulda attached all the spoons to the tables with tiny lengths of chain. That'd've fixed it. Nobody's smuggling an entire table out! Then when somebody fucks up, they have to go clean all the spoons because they can't be put in the dishwasher anymore, what with the chains.
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Nov 3, 2016 18:58
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Just keep a spoon where you keep your pens. Give me your address, I'll send you a spoon.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:00
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Issue everybody one set of silverware. You're responsible for accountability and hygiene of it. What could go wrong?
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Nov 3, 2016 19:01
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Proud Christian Mom posted:as a taxpayer i demand to know what happened to the spoons Post/username combo.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:03
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Soulex posted:Just keep a spoon where you keep your pens. Give me your address, I'll send you a spoon. Send them to Cyks.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:09
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Just start giving everyone cheapo chopstick instead and wait for the horror stories about sounding accidents while underway
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Nov 3, 2016 19:13
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Booblord Zagats posted:Just start giving everyone cheapo chopstick instead and wait for the horror stories about sounding accidents while underway Shore tour in Djibouti. This is why its triple dumb.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:18
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Booblord Zagats posted:Just start giving everyone cheapo chopstick instead and wait for the horror stories about sounding accidents while underway Sounding 
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Nov 3, 2016 19:26
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Do you guys just not have a spoon that goes with you everywhere? Everybody has (or should have) a combat spoon specifically for those kinds of situations.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:30
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Spoon amnesty boxes returned 4,000 spoons, a pair of brass knuckles, and 2 grenades.
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Nov 3, 2016 19:32
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Naked Bear posted:Do you guys just not have a spoon that goes with you everywhere? Everybody has (or should have) a combat spoon specifically for those kinds of situations. As a civilian, what sort of tactical spoon should I buy to feel most like a Navy SEAL?
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Nov 3, 2016 19:37
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wrapped my spoon in 550 paracord
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Nov 3, 2016 19:50
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Vengarr posted:As a civilian, what sort of tactical spoon should I buy to feel most like a Navy SEAL?
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Nov 3, 2016 19:57
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https://www.amazon.com/Ka-Bar-Tactical-Spork-Spoon-9909/dp/B01FYJ6ICK
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Nov 3, 2016 20:06
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Wasabi the J posted:Send them to Cyks. You know, you were right I was hasty. Naturally you are worried that you will need other utensils in case they run out too. I'll send you a spoon, fork, and spork.
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Nov 3, 2016 20:19
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I feel like I should be mad about crazy spoon chat but I just can't help but laugh about not being in. Also, chalk up another thing to make the retention NCO hang himself.
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Nov 3, 2016 21:44
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Guy at work is former Navy nuke. He told me an attempted suicide story from his youth, that he observed. Anticipating suicide attempts, the navy kept the facility (or ship? idk) in such a way that there was basically nothing strong enough overhead to hang yourself off of. Two intrepid sailors determined to die decided they would suicide together, counterweighting each other hanging on either side of an open door. Turns out the one guy was pretty small, and the other was a big fat guy, so when they hopped off their chairs the big fat guy slid to the floor and pulled the other guy up and far enough over the door to where neither of them were choking.
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Nov 3, 2016 23:40
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Basic maths clearly out of the reach of those two retards. Just like something to hang themselves from.
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Nov 4, 2016 00:20
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canyoneer posted:Guy at work is former Navy nuke. He told me an attempted suicide story from his youth, that he observed. I like the thought process that recognized that conditions were so lovely that people were going to off themselves, and went with the solution of making it harder to kill yourself rather than making things easier on people. And that the best entertainment available was watching people try hilariously bad attempts at suicide.
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Nov 4, 2016 00:53
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The only thing that would have made that story better was if hey both got caught in that position post masterbation
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Nov 4, 2016 01:05
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chemosh6969 posted:I remember when they got rid of canned soda at Kadena and everyone was saying "they stopped it because the cans are classified as 1.2 explosives because the cans can explode", so they can't fly with them on airplanes. I'm not talking about one person but everyone was saying this and would argue with me when I said how stupid that was. What the hell, we had so many people cramming soda cans into the door seals on AWACS to keep 'em cold that there was a loving line added to the reg NOT to do that. Ceiling fan posted:I like the thought process that recognized that conditions were so lovely that people were going to off themselves, and went with the solution of making it harder to kill yourself rather than making things easier on people. That's actually what makes the story plausible. Godholio fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Nov 4, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 01:11
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Posted on the Camp swap shop....
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Nov 4, 2016 10:04
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H...Hey C-Candyman *sniff* I n-need a little *scratch* fizzy s-sunshine in my life
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Nov 4, 2016 16:21
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So this is a story about a civilian contractor, but it's still military? The company I work for does accredited certification for crane operators, and we have a sister company that does training for lifting equipment (cranes, riggers/signalpeople, forklifts, etc.). As you can imagine, the US military is a huge client of ours because of all the lifting equipment that gets used. We even send instructors out to Guam and Okinawa. Every month we hold a crane class that included our accredited certification at the end, so you could get OSHA-recognized certification in your ability to operate the telescoping boom cranes and lattice boom cranes commonly used in construction right after getting your safety training. One of the students back at the beginning of the year was a civilian contractor with the US Air Force, with the government paying for him to get trained and certified. I didn't remember him until months later when I got a call from I think a technical sergeant at one of the bases up in the Carolinas or Virginia. He was asking why this guy never got his certification card months after attending the class. When I looked him up and called over to the other office to ask about what happened, I finally remembered: the guy never finished his certification. He failed one of his exams, and he was so ashamed of himself that he packed up and left without telling anybody. When it was his time to do the practical exam, we searched everywhere until one of the other students told us they had seem him walking out the front door. He could have retaken stuff and at least left with one certification instead of the whole lot he was trying to get, but he was in such a depression after failing one test that he ran away....all the way back home. Judging from my communications with the sergeant, I guess he didn't tell anybody back at the base what happened. I'm almost disappointed I didn't get to see the results when he got called into the office later.
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Nov 4, 2016 16:23
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He either got fired by his company or hired as a GS employee.
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Nov 4, 2016 17:24
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chitoryu12 posted:So this is a story about a civilian contractor, but it's still military? actually what happened was they let him operate the crane anyway because he took the class so he is now qualified for example, my qualification for driving a humvee, lmtv, and trailers was because my license said so. don't think about it too hard friend it turns out the military is just really loving stupid and negligent 
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Nov 4, 2016 22:22
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Justin Tyme posted:actually what happened was they let him operate the crane anyway because he took the class so he is now qualified Normally I'd say that, but the problem is the certification is extra money on top of the class. The USAF was paying this guy's way (presumably including travel arrangements since he had to travel several states away to attend) and he wasted all their money on a freak-out. Also the qualification and certification are different. The analogy I always use is that the former is like attending a defensive driving school and getting a certificate, and the latter is like going to the DMV and getting your driver's license. In this analogy the guy attended the school, but freaked out about failing part of the exam to get his license and left without telling the Air Force. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Nov 4, 2016 |
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Nov 4, 2016 22:25
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chitoryu12 posted:Normally I'd say that, but the problem is the certification is extra money on top of the class. The USAF was paying this guy's way (presumably including travel arrangements since he had to travel several states away to attend) and he wasted all their money on a freak-out. I guess what I'm saying is nobody bothered to check on their end most likely, because in their mind qualified = certified, and attending the course = qualified even if he walked out. It's a real check-the-box type situation where the Ops guy probably walked by him and noticed he was back and asked "did you finish that crane thing?" and he said "yes" so now according to Ops and therefor the CO because he asked Ops that guy is now fully capable of operating a crane. I wouldn't put it past them to require a copy of your cert, your helmet, a fire extinguisher, and a bowling pin to even set foot in the crane dispatch office now.
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Nov 4, 2016 22:49
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Justin Tyme posted:I guess what I'm saying is nobody bothered to check on their end most likely, because in their mind qualified = certified, and attending the course = qualified even if he walked out. It's a real check-the-box type situation where the Ops guy probably walked by him and noticed he was back and asked "did you finish that crane thing?" and he said "yes" so now according to Ops and therefor the CO because he asked Ops that guy is now fully capable of operating a crane. It would definitely explain why it took a good half-year for them to call us up and ask why his card never arrived. I think he did finish the class, so he has his qualification. But OSHA's been tightening up regulations on training and competency for operators so there's a good chance that when he starts working outside the military, even if the military lets him operate without his certification, his qualification won't be worth jack poo poo for getting a job.
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Nov 4, 2016 23:14
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Godholio posted:What the hell, we had so many people cramming soda cans into the door seals on AWACS to keep 'em cold that there was a loving line added to the reg NOT to do that. I always wondered why every evaluator always asked if it's alright to put a soda can in there...
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Nov 4, 2016 23:26
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Next you guys are going to tell me that using the exhaust from a power amp to heat a MRE is wrong... Or stripping the shielding off to magnetize a gerber is a bad idea...
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Nov 5, 2016 20:42
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ASAPI posted:Next you guys are going to tell me that using the exhaust from a power amp to heat a MRE is wrong... Or stripping the shielding off to magnetize a gerber is a bad idea... Read that as "gerbil" rather than "gerber" and got REALLY worried there for a split second.
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Nov 6, 2016 06:22
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Magnetic gerbils would kind of own for picking up lost bolts/nuts though
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Nov 6, 2016 19:38
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Wasabi the J posted:Shore tour in Djibouti. This is why its triple dumb. of loving course it's DJ that place is the absolute worst it's got too many goddamn colonels because it's an easy box check for "joint tour" and those guys have to come with command staff, so you end up with this
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Nov 6, 2016 21:32
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Prop Wash posted:of loving course it's DJ that place is the absolute worst It's the truth; literally every position here could be done by a single brigade sized element or less, and it's just loving full of inefficiency and hilarious amounts of micromanagement. We have colonels being deemed necessary to "command" 70 people.
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Nov 6, 2016 23:06
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Professor Bling posted:Magnetic gerbils would kind of own for picking up lost bolts/nuts though Seriously, that's a business opportunity.
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Nov 7, 2016 15:59
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SGT Wasabi why did we not do a proper investigation of the loss of these $30 cell phones? Because I literally could afford to lose all of them. Sorry I didn't call NCIS over $120 of non classified disposable property. Now guess who's doing a FLIPL and having to track down sworn statements for $80 bux?
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Nov 7, 2016 17:02
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