/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Was I [f/19] talking down to boyfriend [m/21]

quote:

He was on a computer game of which he didn't know the controls for, so I searched them on the web for him after asking if he wanted me too.

So I researched them, found a few and everything was fine. However we couldn't find one of them.

I googled a video on it, and just repeated when the man said what to do because the game volume was loud and I thought he'd be able to hear it better, with me just saying what he said but louder.

My boyfriend slams his laptop down and breaks the screen, saying I've talked down to him and tells me to get out and go home and slams the door behind Me.

So I get my things and he comes up shouting at me telling me to f* off and that he hates me and we're over because I talked down to him and my attitude is horrible.

I said sorry for talking down to him and he said he didn't care and told me to get out, punching the door.

From my point of view I wasn't talking down to him, all I did was say what the video said because he asked for instructions.

I apologised but he won't have any of it

Tl;dr problematic relationship boyfriend stressed always blaming problems on me

# ? Nov 11, 2016 17:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 23:19

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Was I [f/19] talking down to boyfriend [m/21]

literally mad at his girlfriend for helping him to play his video game

:sever:

the power cord on his xbone (and his jugular)

# ? Nov 11, 2016 17:47

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I [29M] wanted to marry my girlfriend [24F] before finding she had lied and belittled me in front of everyone. I can�t trust her. Now she wants to marry me. What do I do?

quote:

I used to love my girlfriend of 2 years so much that I was ready to marry her and go for the house, the kids, all the way for the first time in my life. She knew about it, said no and I respected the fact that she wanted to develop her career and not being ready overall.

But about 6 months ago, she left the laptop on and went to work and I discovered she had told her friends (pretty much EVERYONE) she knew how awful it was to be with me. She looked for them just to tell them it had been (again) a terrible day, that I had been mean or we had to work a lot (we share a little shop) or anything she had found slightly annoying.

I�m not gonna pretend I�m the perfect boyfriend but I value respect and being fair and I can honestly say that I love her more than I�ve loved anyone and I�ve gone out of my ways in every respect to make her feel happy and loved (she used to selfharm and even claimed to try to kill herself -I believe she has some form of depression, sometimes literally she starts crying while we are talking about a slightly sensitive issue or feeling insecure while we are having fun even at theme parks or parties).

But it turns out that while we were going to fancy places, she was texting them we never went out; while we got married at this carnival thingy and she was ecstatic, all their friends heard was she was considering breaking up with me; and while we were having great sex (not faking since her legs start to shake like crazy), she told them I couldn�t satisfy her and she was not enjoying sex. And so on.

I confronted her and more lies surfaced. After the date we (both of us) chose as our anniversary (since we started as friends), she had sex with her ex several times. I was led to believe we had started something amazing, while she still banged him, even after our first kiss and only a couple of weeks before we officially started dating.

Btw we are talking about the guy that allegedly forced her while they were together. She said she kept meeting him out of feeling worthless and not sure about us, but I doubt everything she tells me now. Even the being forced part. There�s always something in her stories that doesn�t makes sense, where she�s the victim, just like she said she was with me to all her friends.

About that, and to start wrapping this, she tried to make ammends so we didn�t break up: confessed to them that she had not being truthful about our relationship, started posting a lot of good things and even went to the church and made vows to her god to never pull things like that again.

Still� days after the apologies, she conveniently deleted conversations (maybe told them I forced her to apologize), happy posts stopped appearing on her wall and now I�m back to not even being mentioned and I wonder if my name only appears when bad things happen.

Oh, did I forget to mention something? Now she�s the one who wants to get married.

I usually don't ask for help and I know this is soapie material (and I left out LOTS of chapters), but seriously, help! What do I do?

TL;DR: I wanted to marry my girlfriend of 2 years but after finding out she lies about us and overall, I�m not sure I want to. Now she�s the one wanting to tie the knot but I think our relationship could be all messed up. Is it too messed up?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 17:52

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Was I [f/19] talking down to boyfriend [m/21]

Sounds like an overreaction to a penis slappin'.

https://youtu.be/6hb8FeKfRXM

# ? Nov 11, 2016 18:44

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

loquacius posted:

This was my reaction too. It's not even like he was different before they got married, or before the kids were born, he was different a few years ago. Dude's got something bad happening in his brain space.

My dad slipped on ice and hit his head super hard on the edge of a concrete step about five years back. It's been weird seeing his personality shift and change as his brain knits poo poo back together. For him, it's nothing major, but it's just a collection of odd little changes.

At least he's getting his passion for music back. That was the most obvious change to me, at first. He had no interest in listening to his old blues or jazz records or playing guitar at all until maybe six months ago. He had been doggedly playing bass in a church band for the last couple of years due to my mother's encouragement, so I think that helped things to click again.

Thankfully, the injury didn't actually impact his professional capabilities much.

Brain poo poo is weird and frustrating to deal with. I got so mad at my dad when we went on a long car trip and he hadn't planned a drat thing like he told my mom he had. He always used to have a great sense of direction and he got lost and had booked the wrong hotel etc. He wanted me to navigate with my phone, which I did, but he kept taking "shortcuts" and absolutely refused to let me or my mother drive. After twelve hours of that bullshit I was ready to stab the bastard.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 19:25

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

quote:

Me [33 M] and my live in gf [28/F] of 5 years are signing a new lease today...and I might bail

Hmmm ok. Well they aren't in their early 20s so I wonder what's really going on here.

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, and we've lived together for three.

Ok. That's a pretty good amount of time to be together. Also around the time when people get comfortable in the relationship.

quote:

Today we're supposed to sign a two year lease on a new apartment, and long story short I'm getting cold feet. I just don't know if I want to "re-up".

Basically, we're stronger and more comfortable than we've ever been, and I care about her deeply, but the romance in our relationship has completely gone. We have sex once a month or sometimes less, usually out of obligation, and my physical attraction to her is nil, although I do think she's objectively very pretty. I'd wager she feels the same about me.I find myself having sexual fantasies of just about every woman I come across in my daily life, except for her.

hmmmm. This is usually where the polly or open relationship part enters the conversation.

quote:

It also doesn't help that she hasn't trimmed or shaved any part of her body (legs, armpits, downstairs) in months, and only showers once a week. The shaving thing is new, and according to her a feminist choice, whereas the lack of showering is out of sheer laziness. To her credit she doesn't smell, but the concept still icks me out.

quote:

Regardless, she honestly feels like a sibling or very good friend that I live with at this point, and it's left me pretty frustrated. I don't want to throw away the best relationship I've ever had, but I don't want my dick to live in prison forever either. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?

My guess is that she feels like he's more of a roommate too and the shaving thing is just her way of giving up.

Bonzo fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Nov 11, 2016

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:15

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:42

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

picky eaters: not even once

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:44

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:45

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

What the gently caress?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:46

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

holy gently caress

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:46

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:49

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 4 months. They insist I call them by their first name.N

quote:

I've been with my current GF for a few months now. I met her parents about a week after we got together. When we met for the first time I introduced myself and told them it was a pleasure to meet them using "Mr. and Mrs. X." They told me to call them by their first names which is something I'm NOT comfortable doing.

This has continued for the duration of our relationship. Every time I say their last name they will correct me with their first name. I usually just ignore the statement and continue making my point. They don't say anything afterward but they will correct me the next time I need to get their attention.

This has gotten to the point where my GF has told me that its a bit unsettling and that I should be comfortable by now. She doesn't call my parents by their first name b/c they aren't okay with that.

I've stood my ground up to this point and told her and her parents this isn't something I'm okay with but they insist. I don't know what to say or do at this point? This is literally the only issue with our relationship. I feel like I'm messing things up but I don't want to shirk my values for a new relationship at 18.

tl;dr: GF's parents want to be called by their first name and are trying to condition me into it.

Update

quote:

So I actually resolved my issue the next day but I didn't feel like updating because I didn't get too much advice and I didn't really use any from here. Long story short is that I broke up with her the next day.

We spoke a little while after school and I told her the full extent of my issues. She said she felt bad that I was struggling so much with it but she understood why I was. I told her that I wasn't going to be able to stay with her due to this.

She didn't react to this well at all. I did my best to comfort her when she told me the story of why she moved to our school for only her senior year. It turns out that her family were social pariahs in their last community due to her parents giving their daughter and her friends alcohol without consulting the other parents. She told me she was tired of her parents ruining everything and she left.

All in all I feel relieved to be through with the whole situation. I don't have to call anyone by their first name that I don't want to. I'm super against underage drinking so that would've definitely killed our relationship when it came up anyways.

I appreciate your time and efforts r/relationships

tl;dr: I broke up with her and that turned out to be the best decision.

quote:

[�]notits_mcgee 52 points 2 days ago

Wow are you sure you're 18? My 92 year old grandmother is more laid back than you jesus, you sound like an absolute nightmare and a bore on top of that.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:54

Ross Perowned: Jun 14, 2012; Shit in my hand and say yeah

Not a Children posted:

Uh so the update to the story about the picky boyfriend involved her spelling out that she couldn't live like that herself anymore, and asking him to see a doctor, upon which the bf went nuts and broke one of her ribs and sodomized her because vegetables are scary

loving Christ...

# ? Nov 11, 2016 20:54

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

quote:

I wish I could say that this update was good news and that everything went smoothly. It didn't. Shortly after he woke up, I presented him with breakfast and said something along the lines of "When you have time today, and after you've woken up a bit, I'd like to talk to you about something." which was met well. Off I went to think about what I wanted to say. About an hour later, he said he was ready to talk, so we went into the living room and sat together. I stayed calm, and didn't make it a blaming and shaming situation, what I said was along the lines of "Robert, I love you, and I love what we've been building. I feel like we're at a point in our relationship where we're serious enough that I think we need to talk about nutrition. I know that you take a multivitamin, but I would like if you would go to a Doctor and make sure that you truly are getting all of the nutrients you need. I want you to be around for as long as you can be. I am also going to stop adhering to your diet, because it's not healthy for me. For my health, I need to keep vegetables, fruit, nuts, legumes and grains in the house. I will pay for this myself, and you only need to chip in for your groceries- nothing's changing for you, but this is unhealthy for me, and I need you to understand that."

He actually let me finish what I needed to say, but he proceeded to pretty much have a meltdown. He was defensive, called me some unsavory names and told me that I have no right to bring vegetables into our living space without his consent. He said that I was basically raping him, and making him feel violated. He got physical with me. He threw me into a wall, punched me repeatedly, broke my rib and proceeded to sodomize me. Through everything, he was yelling and I was crying and paralyzed with fear. It was all a blur, but the next thing I knew was my neighbor coming into our living room and pulling him off of me while saying that the police were on their way. Robert took off. Neighbor helped me get my pants on and told me not to move too much. He stayed with me through everything and we gave information to the police- he even came with me on the ambulance to the hospital. At the hospital, a rape kit was done and my rib was dealt with.

The police were able to find Robert thanks to me being a weirdo who keeps hers and her SO's license plate numbers memorized and written in my phone just in case. Charges have been filed and I got a restraining order this week. I am safe now, and moved into my own place, closer to school and work and I have my own kitchen that I can keep whatever the gently caress I want in. I feel so much more free and overall, am happier. I don't know if Robert will ever get help for his eating problems, but I am glad to say that it's no longer my concern.

tl;dr: Said I wanted to keep veggies in the house, got rib broken; broken up, moved out and happy now.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships 3.0: I have no right to bring vegetables into our living space without his consent

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:00

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

What the gently caress is wrong with people?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:06

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Known Lecher posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships 3.0: I have no right to bring vegetables into our living space without his consent

I know she got a restraining order, but she should hang some celery on the door just in case.

And wow, that's hosed up.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:09

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

A true keto supporter
:stare:

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:09

JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

Holy poo poo, that's not what I wanted to read as a resolution to that situation.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:12

Tears In A Vial: Jan 13, 2008

Woah is that the same couple I posted earlier? Sorry guys I just read the main post and thought the food list was funny. I didn't know it ended like that. Apologies.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:28

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

loving hell

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:32

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

Jesus Christ. Good for her for finally getting out of that poo poo. What a mess. That guy is literally crazy.

My [18F] girlfriend thinks that me [18M] following a friend's girlfriend on instagram is disrespectful because some of her photos are suggestive

quote:

Hello, I'm trying to figure out whether my girlfriend is being unreasonable because I sure think so. We are long distance right now and she is a very sensitive person due to her being cheated on in a past relationship.
The story is that I have a friend at my school mark and I met his girlfriend in the same class. Me and them get along pretty well and often study together for the class. Naturally we all follow each other on instagram. However, my girlfriend often looks through my follow list (I feel like this is weird but I don't know) and she saw that I was following this girl (my friend's girlfriend). She was upset at this because marks girlfriend models occasionally and has some typical suggestive photos on her account. My girlfriend then start an argument with me about why I follow her and that that must mean I'm not satisfied in our relationship.
TLDR Girlfriend jealous and upset that I follow a friend on instagram with suggestive photos on her feed.
Am i in the wrong here or is she being extremely unreasonable?

This girl is young, and being cheated on sucks, but I think the emotional healing starts to happen right around the time you can not freak out about your boyfriend following his (spoken for!) friend's Instagram account.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:40

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

just a 'lil lesson for you all, everybody you know and associate with is one tiny push from total insanity at any given point

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:42

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

Oh boy!

I (23M) hosed up by swiping right on my gf's (22F) summer Boss (24F)

quote:

At work the other morning I was bored looking at the top apps on google play. Without thinking to hard I blindly hit tinder and just started swiping right a bunch to see what happened. Got about 5 matches and messaged them all the same "Heyyy ".
I kind of realized what I was doing, deleted the app and went back to work. The next day my gf gets a text from her boss telling her to call. Her boss then sends screenshots of me matching with her on tinder and my message to her.
I know I hosed up, the worst part is I had no idea that was my gf's boss. I was not paying attention when I swiped nor when I messaged her. My gf says it makes her look like a fool and is extremely hurt. I agree with her... I hosed up so badly..
She's willing to fix it though, I need help though with what to do and if I even can fix it. I already messaged her boss over fb apologizing.
TL;DR: Matched with and messaged my gf's boss on tinder, didn't even realize it was her, but now she told my girlfriend.

This is either the dumbest man on the planet or the shittiest cover story for trying to get strange on Tinder and then getting caught that was ever written.

Anony Mouse fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Nov 11, 2016

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:42

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

this full update isn't terribly funny or interesting but i love the image of the scrooge interim director

(UPDATE!) My interim museum director (50's/M) and my museum board president (40's/F) are changing my job description to something I'm not comfortable with. They said there is nothing I can do about it.

quote:

My interim director is still a major rear end in a top hat, but the rest of them are fighting for me, which feels amazing!! Especially since I just learned that I need glasses. Poohie.
I won't go in to all of the reasons he is a jerk, but suffice it to say, he once told me (after I asked for a living wage) that I should put my cats to work so that I wouldn't be poor, and so that I could buy the nonprofit's publication. gently caress you, rear end in a top hat.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:47

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Anony Mouse posted:

Oh boy!

I (23M) hosed up by swiping right on my gf's (22F) summer Boss (24F)

This is either the dumbest man on the planet or the shittiest cover story for trying to get strange on Tinder and then getting caught that was ever written.

Uh mm what? What are the comments like?
How do you "accidentally" download an app, make a profile and then start swiping through? Lmfao.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 21:55

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Uh mm what? What are the comments like?
How do you "accidentally" download an app, make a profile and then start swiping through? Lmfao.

reddit comments are sometimes on point

[�]Snailsentrails 15 points 42 minutes ago
He said the "worst part" was he had no idea it was his gf's boss. Which means he's basically upset he got found out and isn't sorry in the slightest. OP, you don't deserve to have things worked out. You don't just "blindly fall into" tinder and take the time to message the women you match with. Grow up and take responsibility.
permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply
[�]Naptowner 11 points 40 minutes ago
But it was a top app on Google Play.
permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply
[�]Lilcheeks 16 points 36 minutes ago
I just found it! #71 is Tinder under Top Free Apps!
permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply
[�]Naptowner 7 points 30 minutes ago
See, how could you blame a guy for falling for it?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:00

Theokotos: Jan 22, 2015; Fallen Rib

Jfc-I've dated some lovely people, and the only one who was legit abusive was also a picky eater, and even he didn't try to control what *I* ate. Adding that to my list of "huge red flags".

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:09

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Theokotos posted:

Jfc-I've dated some lovely people, and the only one who was legit abusive was also a picky eater, and even he didn't try to control what *I* ate. Adding that to my list of "huge red flags".

There was a thread in GWS years ago where someone asked for recipe ideas for her partner who was a picky eater. When he was served something he didn't like he'd pour hot sauce or add a poo poo ton of jalapenos to the dish and force is down. Later in the thread it came out that the guy was already in therapy for issues he experienced growing up and the goon was advised to go to E/N

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:14

Theokotos: Jan 22, 2015; Fallen Rib

Yeah, "my" picky eater was crazy as gently caress; it's a pretty fresh wound and I'm still trying to analyze it to avoid similar situations in the future.

"Picky eater" is one of those things that is so easy to overlook, because I can logically understand someone not liking certain things (I don't enjoy banana flavor for example, but eating it isn't actually an issue-I like banana bread and will eat it in a salad or fried plantains, and would buy them for my partner) but I think it becoming an issue that impacts anyone's life is a really bad sign.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:34

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

E/N legend Blue Story's husband was also a picky eater.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:35

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

HardDiskD posted:

E/N legend Blue Story's husband was also a picky eater.

Oh god I need to know how BS is doing

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:37

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

I wonder if he is autistic or something

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:38

Popoto: Oct 21, 2012; miaow

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Was I [f/19] talking down to boyfriend [m/21]

You know that guy was definitely a Redpiller/gamergater and got enraged at the thought of a woman knowing more about his vidya game

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:46

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Anony Mouse posted:

Oh boy!

I (23M) hosed up by swiping right on my gf's (22F) summer Boss (24F)

This is either the dumbest man on the planet or the shittiest cover story for trying to get strange on Tinder and then getting caught that was ever written.

This is a really impressive series of "accidental" decisions. Almost more impressive than getting drunk and "accidentally" sleeping with someone else.

The good news is that when his girlfriend breaks up with him for being a complete idiot, he already has matches on Tinder to hit up!

# ? Nov 11, 2016 22:55

Nemesis Of Moles: Jul 25, 2007

Anony Mouse posted:

Oh boy!

I (23M) hosed up by swiping right on my gf's (22F) summer Boss (24F)

This is either the dumbest man on the planet or the shittiest cover story for trying to get strange on Tinder and then getting caught that was ever written.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv5fqunQ_4I

# ? Nov 11, 2016 23:01

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Abusers usually crave being in control. I can totally see picky eating as an outlet of that

# ? Nov 11, 2016 23:02

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Hahaha just readin' people's dumb drama with their crazy S/Os, what a lark~~~

:yikes:

Jeza posted:

just a 'lil lesson for you all, everybody you know and associate with is one tiny push from total insanity at any given point

I think you will find that when Joker attempted to prove this in the classic graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke, he was proven wrong

# ? Nov 11, 2016 23:18

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

In slightly lighter news

HardDiskD posted:

Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 4 months. They insist I call them by their first name.N

Update

is this what it's like to grow up in a red state

# ? Nov 11, 2016 23:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 23:19

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

HardDiskD posted:

E/N legend Blue Story's husband was also a picky eater.

If this is an interesting story I'd love a link.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 23:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »