/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Nazzadan posted:

I even made a pretty passive aggressive comment that I wasnt that fun to play with to which she responded by calling me a "u needy gently caress"

That's pretty funny.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:01

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# ? May 9, 2024 11:25

supernatural blonde: Mar 15, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Marijuana Nihilist posted:

lol we should definitely care about people's fee-fees in gbs

Eh just posting the facts, I don't give a poo poo either way

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:02

jeff smisek: May 18, 2009

I [24F] have a hard time dating due to my sensitivity over my pet pig.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:06

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I don't know how I found this from searching the keyword "anime" but I thought it was a typo in the title until I read it.

My[24F] ex-boyfriend[31M] of 1 year is black and it is ruining my romantic life.

Story's not that interesting, I just could have sworn it would have been a story about an ex coming back into the picture

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:11

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nazzadan posted:

I don't know how I found this from searching the keyword "anime" but I thought it was a typo in the title until I read it.

My[24F] ex-boyfriend[31M] of 1 year is black and it is ruining my romantic life.

Story's not that interesting, I just could have sworn it would have been a story about an ex coming back into the picture

So what IS the problem, is it that she'll Never Go Back but the area's demographics are all wrong, or is it that she's attempting to Go Back but is now typecast

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:13

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

supernatural blonde posted:

Eh just posting the facts, I don't give a poo poo either way

Yeah, I missed the post from a mod requesting that we only post happy, joyous examples of people struggling with relationship issues.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:14

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nazzadan posted:

My [29 M] Girlfriend [25 F] refuses to play DOTA with me and plays with other people behind my back and I want to break up with her over it.

"I'm a scrub-rear end low mmr player and my gf won't play ranked with me, am I right in wanting to leave her??"

Get better at DOTA or get comfy with the idea that you can't play with your girlfriend or you'll murder her stats because you suck.

Seems pretty simple to me. They both still like DOTA and can still talk dirty about pushing each other's lanes to feed the jungle or whatever. They can play unranked matches together. Dude needs to find another hobby that doesn't involve suiciding his girlfriend's e-peen. If she were on a decent bowling team and this guy had trouble rolling an 85, do you think he'd be this salty when she went to league nights without him?

He's probably still better than me at MOBAS, though. Then again, I just ask the experienced guys who I should follow and support with whatever character I have, and I do that unless they ask me to do something else and I take criticism well in the sense that I try to correct my errors. I blow rear end at MOBA-style games, but on the rare occasion I get roped into playing one, at least I'm working for the team. Having seen how other teams or teammates not coordinating leads to swift defeat, that may be more than some bring to the table. I don't demand to play ranked games when my friends coerce me into that poo poo because I'm not a monster.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:16

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Pvt.Scott posted:

He's probably still better than me at MOBAS, though. Then again, I just ask the experienced guys who I should follow and support with whatever character I have, and I do that unless they ask me to do something else and I take criticism well in the sense that I try to correct my errors. I blow rear end at MOBA-style games, but on the rare occasion I get roped into playing one, at least I'm working for the team. Having seen how other teams or teammates not coordinating leads to swift defeat, that may be more than some bring to the table. I don't demand to play ranked games when my friends coerce me into that poo poo because I'm not a monster.

you dirty healslut

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:18

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

loquacius posted:

So what IS the problem, is it that she'll Never Go Back but the area's demographics are all wrong, or is it that she's attempting to Go Back but is now typecast

the tl;dr is she still keeps hella pictures of the black ex all over her apartment and she was banging a dude who saw them and was like "uhh, who's that."

Also yeah people in her town apparently lean out of their pickups and call her a race traitor, skank, etc.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:18

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Chichevache posted:

Yeah, I missed the post from a mod requesting that we only post happy, joyous examples of people struggling with relationship issues.

God you suck.

You're like the guy in the Griefing Thread in Games who insisted on posting videos of people harassing children in Minecraft with threats and profanity until they cried. He also did the whole "woah sorry didn't know this was HAPPY STUFF ONLY" whenever someone called him on it. Nobody wants to see that poo poo. Just gently caress off.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:20

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nazzadan posted:

the tl;dr is she still keeps hella pictures of the black ex all over her apartment and she was banging a dude who saw them and was like "uhh, who's that."

Also yeah people in her town apparently lean out of their pickups and call her a race traitor, skank, etc.

I mean, on the one hand, yeah everybody's racist, but on the other hand, why is she keeping pictures of her ex all over her apartment regardless of race issues

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:20

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

A Moose posted:

"Help! seeing my girlfriend makes me throw up!"
Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 2 Months, Anxiety problemsDating
submitted 26 minutes ago * by jestxeterdamaion

E: beaten on the South Park

BOOTY-ADE fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Nov 18, 2016

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:21

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I met my gf in league and she was higher elo than me, now 3 years later I'm diamond and she quit because the game is terrible.

But higher elo by default is still higher :smug:

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:21

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

LGD posted:

you dirty healslut

I hate that this thread has lead me to know what this means

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

LGD posted:

you dirty healslut

Anschluss me in Hearts of Iron 4, mein F�hrer! My Austrians await your command!

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:22

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Chomp8645 posted:

God you suck.

You're like the guy in the Griefing Thread in Games who insisted on posting videos of people harassing children in Minecraft with threats and profanity until they cried. He also did the whole "woah sorry didn't know this was HAPPY STUFF ONLY" whenever someone called him on it. Nobody wants to see that poo poo. Just gently caress off.

To be fair this is a thread to post stories from a subreddit that is literally dedicated to problems involving infidelity, death, and physical abuse.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:23

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

my BF of 1 yrs THIRSTINESS is a gigantic turn off [30/f and 35/m]

We met at work because he introduced himself to me. After our first date, we started following each other on Instagram and that's when all this started. Under the "People you Follow" tab I saw him liking pictures of scantily clad women and even a selfie-pic of a woman's crotch. Even so I let it go, because I really rolled well with Jeff in person.

Jeff has dated a wide range of ethnicities but I know he likes Asian women's look. I don't really care or think it's racist - I've asked him why and he says he just likes petite, thin builds and dark hair. For some reason though this puts me on a higher alert when we are around Asian women. He always triple glances attractive Asian ladies when we are out, at a cafe for example.

We were also once at a convention together and I was talking to this Asian lady. He seemed really eager when I introduced him to her, then later I SWEAR I saw him wink at her. He claims he has no idea what I Was talking about, but I know I'm not crazy!

One time he posted a really old picture of himself from when he was married. It's of him shooting a gun, and you can kind of see his old wedding ring. I said "wow, so strange to see proof you were really married at a time!" and he low-key freaked out because he didn't "want the ladies of IG to think" he is currently married.

I've noticed Jeff checking out random women on Instagram and Facebook. Sometimes he goesinto deep liking-sprees on their Instagram pages. A lot of these women are Asian/Korean and Russian ladies. Sometimes these women take notice and leave flirty comments on his page, and all of a sudden they're Facebook friends. I told him I don't like him doing this and explained why, and he's SORT of stopped?

A while ago I caught Jeff flirting with some lady on Instagram, that he's never met. He admitted it was stupid and apologized. I also "caught" him messaging some lady on Facebook that he clarified was a Match.com match-up from before we were dating. It's just shady.

Jeff also believes that every guy that speaks to me is hitting on me. I think that might be a reflection of his own views on the relationships between men and women.

All of this thirstiness is turning me off. I know he's not meeting up with other women. I have a good gut instinct and I know that he's just really needy about validation from other people/women to feel more secure/more like a man. So this isn't an issue of him sleeping around or "cheating," but more just kind of pathetic in my mind. What should I do?

tl;dr: my otherwise perfect guy of 1 year is really loving thirsty on his social media and sometimes in person. He does this to feel good about himself/more secure, maybe? Is that a thing that guys do? Anyway, it's a huge turn off and I don't know if it's normal or not. Not sure how to handle or if this is a deal breaker?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:24

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I like the terrible, horrifying, depressing posts. I like my comedy like my coffee: black, cold and bitter. Or was that how I like my women...

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:25

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Pvt.Scott posted:

I like the terrible, horrifying, depressing posts. I like my comedy like my coffee: black, cold and bitter. Or was that how I like my women...

You like you're women cold? :drac:

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:27

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

quote:

(Semi-Romantic) I (27M) was just asked to resign from my Catholic School teaching job for something that happened outside of work, what do I tell my gf? (33F)

This is my third year at a Catholic school and I've just been asked to resign or be fired.
Earlier in the week I was watching a porn video to "relive some stress." My gf who lives an hour away had been on vacation and I hadn't seen her for two weeks. I was very stressed. I brought the same laptop into school the next day and opened it to do attendance. I left my desk to walk around the classroom and only partially closed the screen. A popup came up and as a student was walking by my desk they saw something inappropriate. They told their parents and the parent contacted the school.
Today I met with the Principal and he brought up this complaint. I told him there was no way that something inappropriate could have popped up but he asked to see my computer and I gave him permission. He scrolled through every single website I had been on in the past few days and came upon the site. Ten minutes later I was in his office with the Head Priest of our Church and they said I either have to resign or they'll fire me. No second chances, no nothing.
I was inconsolable throughout the meeting and I was given no choice. I truthfully said this had never happened in school, only in the privacy of my own home. He said while be believes me this is "conduct unbecoming of a catholic school educator" and "scandalous behavior." I told him I would resign effective Monday morning.
My gf is a guidance counselor at a school an hour away. She actually lives a town over from my parents. She is part of a large friend group I have and in July we professed our feelings for one another and have been having an awesome relationship, seeing each other every weekend and sometimes during the week. Last month we said "I love you" to each other. We both believe that is a pretty big step in our relationship.
I work in a Catholic School because it was the first place to hire me out of college but I am not a religious person in the least. My gf has expressed a want for sometime in the future us living closer and my mind has been made up since last June (before my gf) that I wanted to leave the school after one more year.
So my question: How do I tell my gf about all of this? Do I leave anything out?
She is not a prude or anything but this is embarrassing beyond belief. I know I should have said no to the Principal but I didn't think he would check every website. There is no time stamp on the website but just having it in my history is tantamount to having it open for the students to see according to him. I also know it was stupid to even bring the laptop or have the history not be cleared.
TLDR: A porn popup came onto my comp as I was away from it and a student saw it. I'm resigning from my school over this. What do I tell my gf?

"So honey, we need to talk...."

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:32

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Should I (31f) ask out the cop (late30sM) who helped me when I got robbed?

quote:

The title says it all. Someone broke into my car and stole all my belongings. Luckily, the perp left my phone on and we were able to track it and I found most of my belongings.
However, the cop who came to the crime scene seemed like he was into me. He started examining the car but then he started asking me how old I was and asked if I had a BF. He asked why we broke up which I thought was odd and if I had kids. He shared that he is divorced with 2 kids.
I felt a connection with him and he was easy to talk to. He was cute and funny, too, regardless that I was sweating over my busted window and lost possessions. Am I just being crazy or should I actually pursue this guy? Do cops normally ask girls these questions while making a report? Does he sound into me? Should I call the police station? Haha.
TL;DR: I reported stolen possessions. Cop who answered the call flirted with me and I really liked him I'm debating on asking him out. Would that be appropriate?

This is adorable

Okay this next one isn't adorable

I [21f] feel unsafe around my boyfriend [28m] for no reason at all.

quote:

I wanna start this by saying that my boyfriend is not a bad person. Seriously. He's probably the nicest person I've ever met. He's bright. He makes people feel at home. He's extremely charming. He's fun to hang out with. He was never, ever rude to me.
Ever since we started dating (in June) though, I feel weirdly unsafe around him. Like I can't put my guard down. He actually scares me for some reason. I don't know if it's anxiety, but I feel anxious around him. Like if he invites me to his house I freak out and find the most ridiculous reason to say I can't go there.
Yesterday we were eating dinner. I went to the kitchen to grab more food and when my boyfriend entered the kitchen saying "oh hey, there you are!" I almost started screaming. I dropped the plate on my hand as well. It wasn't a normal scare because I didn't see him coming into the kitchen. I feel like that around him all the time. It's an awful feeling. What do I do? Am I crazy?
tl;dr: boyfriend makes me feel unsafe around him all the time even though he's the nicest person in the world

I can't even imagine what this dude looks like or what his body language is like to make her be like this despite him doing absolutely nothing to make her feel unsafe.

Nazzadan fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Nov 18, 2016

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:35

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

You like you're women cold?

Emotionally, duh.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:37

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Gonna make a hot take and say the boyfriend is a drunk

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:40

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Actually now that I think about it, it's really weird if she got up from the table to get seconds and he followed her into the kitchen and said, "Oh hey there you are!"

He's like a shopkeeper in Skyrim, if you break line of sight he will just home in on you

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:41

CharlestonJew: Jul 7, 2011; Illegal Hen

this is why you keep 2 laptops and label them "Porn" and "Everything Else"

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:43

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Why is she dating him if she feels unsafe around him?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:44

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

JFairfax posted:

I hate that this thread has lead me to know what this means

It has actively prevented me from playing as a healer

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:48

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

This is really weird

quote:

Me [27F] with my sort-of racist brother [25M] who will be a dad to a child of color. Are my concerns overbearing? (no politics please!)

Hi all! I recently learned that my little brother is going to be a dad, and his child will be the first grandchild in our family. He and his girlfriend have been together for 1.5 years and the baby is due in February. They seem to have a solid relationship and that's none of my business. Also none of this may be my business, so call me out if I'm being overbearing, please.

My brother is white and his girlfriend is black. I have concerns about my brother that his girlfriend doesn't have. I want to be clear that I am not wanting to get into the politics of racism, or the current climate in the U.S., I just want some opinions on how I can handle my discomfort with this scenario, please. To my mind, my brother frequently expresses what I would consider to be racist ideas. He routinely posts "All Lives Matter" things on Facebook, calls victims of police shootings "thugs," says that anyone who uses prejudice as an "excuse" is too lazy to work hard enough to improve their place in life. He reposted a post about a recent hate crime with the caption "Sure, that totally happened." I am concerned for a child that will grow up with a parent who doesn't acknowledge that life may be different for their child than it is for them.

I talked to my parents about this, who hold similar views to my brother, and they told me of course he's not racist because he has a black girlfriend and gets along with people of color at his job.

Obviously I will mind my own business and would never say anything about this to my brother. I have only met his girlfriend a handful of times, and we are friendly, but I just don't know her well (I live of state but am incidentally moving back home in January). When current events come up, she is conservative like my brother. I know I should defer to her experience instead of trying to "white-splain," I am just very worried for this child. I am probably getting ahead of myself also since the baby isn't even born yet.

Am I being totally overbearing for being concerned about this? Is there anything I can once the baby is born to express support (like, by at least by acknowledging that racism exists), or is this totally out of bounds? Should I STFU and defer to my brother's girlfriend's experience?

tl;dr: My brother, who frequently expresses what I would consider to be racist ideas, is having a biracial baby. Is there anything I can do to support my niece or nephew without being out of line?

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:49

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I play a healer more than ever now.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:49

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Maybe the creepy boyfriend has old pipes at his house or some other common generator of noise inaudible to humans (poorly balanced "silent" industrial exhaust fan?). If you get the right frequency, you can induce feelings of anxiety/dread/danger and even cause visual hallucinations (the sound jiggles the fluid in your eyes and your brain tries to interpret it).

He could just be a creepy gently caress.

# ? Nov 18, 2016 23:51

supernatural blonde: Mar 15, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Chichevache posted:

Yeah, I missed the post from a mod requesting that we only post happy, joyous examples of people struggling with relationship issues.

Oh stop your whining.

# ? Nov 19, 2016 00:06

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Chick I'm dating told me last night about a "guy who was really cool" that she was talking to.

quote:

I'm presuming this is a straight up poo poo-test. She went out with her girl friends last night until 4am. I was working in one of the bars and I finished at 4am also. She text me while I was working to see if I was still around, to which I said yeah. She ended up coming back to my place.

All sounds pretty good right? Well, soon after she started talking about this guy who she was talking to in a nightclub and told me about "how cool and chill he was and how they were talking for ages about different stuff". After swallowing TRP a year ago, my gut automatically told me this was a poo poo-test 101. I didn't react, I acted indifferent... even though I have to admit I felt some insecurities rearing their ugly head inside me (not badly, but I did feel them a bit). I simply kept the conversation casual and mellow and asked about how her night went, and didn't react to it.

Just wanted some feedback from you guys, did I handle it well or could I have handled it a different way. Also, some opinions on what happened would be appreciated.

supernatural blonde posted:

Oh stop your whining.

supernatural blonde whined, as he won the argument.

# ? Nov 19, 2016 00:37

Cyberpope v2: Oct 26, 2002; by Lowtax

Gaunab posted:

This is really weird

What's weird about it, his brother is ending racism with his dick and the OP is whining about how his brother doesn't share his identity politics?

# ? Nov 19, 2016 00:48

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

You can't be racist and bone the negroes, they've done studies!

# ? Nov 19, 2016 02:09

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Pvt.Scott posted:

You can't be racist and bone the negroes, they've done studies!

people never have contempt for the people they sleep with!

# ? Nov 19, 2016 02:19

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Pvt.Scott posted:

You can't be racist and bone the negroes, they've done studies!

"If you love something, set it free."
-Thomas Jefferson

# ? Nov 19, 2016 02:37

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Chichevache posted:

Yeah, I missed the post from a mod requesting that we only post happy, joyous examples of people struggling with relationship issues.

gently caress off.

# ? Nov 19, 2016 03:55

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My GF (26F) of 1.5 years cheated on me (26M), but I'm okay with it...

I've always had a cheating/adultery/cuckolding fetish. The only way I've managed to find release in that is by doing role plays online as fictional characters. I stopped all that when I started dating Sara. Things have been great between us, and we have experimented here and there. However, I just never could bring myself to tell her about my cheating fetish...cause I mean, who the hell would go for that?

Last weekend, Sara went out with her friends for a girls night out around the town. She normally doesn't drink heavy, but she got pretty drunk. Long story short, one thing led to another, and she ended up "waking up" in bed with another guy. Well, she came home that following day and was a total mess. Crying, begging to forgive her, how she'll never do it again, etc.

I've kept my distance for the most part (we don't live together), but it's not because I'm mad. I'm actually turned on. At the same time, I'm thinking this was a mistake on her end, and it's not something she would actively pursue. I'm planning to "talk" to her about it tonight or tomorrow, and would appreciate advice on how to approach this. I mean to be honest, I forgive her, and it would be really cool if she was down for this fetish...but I feel like I have to tread carefully in how I say this, cause she's been feeling messed up about this.

tl;dr: GF cheated on me...I enjoyed it. GF feels guilty. How do I tell her it's okay, and perhaps bring up that I'm into her doing that?

# ? Nov 19, 2016 04:05

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Somewhere, a bull feels as though he is being prepped and he doesn't know why.

# ? Nov 19, 2016 04:07

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# ? May 9, 2024 11:25

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

Barudak posted:

Somewhere, a bull feels as though he is being prepped and he doesn't know why.

Elsewhere a pup is berthed.

# ? Nov 19, 2016 04:11

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