RNG posted:

Break up with girlfriend, tell 2 close friends between us about secret relationship, find out she's dating us all. posted:

I'll try to keep it as short as possible. me [25 M] with my [21 F] and 2 friends [18 M] & [26 M] I met a girl on a streaming website. I chatted with her quite a few times and then she asked me for my skype so we could continue talking there. I’m being really random and flirtatious with everyone on the site and on skype she asked me to date her, so we did. While we dated she introduced me to 2 of her friends which were really cool and nice. I found out not long after that one of the guys had known her for almost 3 years and the other for about half a year. They both liked this girl and weren’t afraid to show it.

My relation with her was a secret un till last night. I wanted to break up since she couldn’t keep a single promise she made, was never sorry for what she did and was always the one making the demands from me and her friends. I told her I wanted to break up over a call and she basically ignored what I had to say like I should just deal with it and if that we would break up it would be her breaking up with me. Talking didn’t work so I started ignoring her and she got mad. After countless messages of her trying to get my attention I told her that she was spoiled and taking me for granted and here’s when the true rage started.

She blocked me everywhere and I wasn’t too sad about that since I knew I could do better, but I really liked the 2 friends. Since the 4 of us always did things together I wanted to tell them about our relationship so they would understand why things would get rough from now on, but when I told them we found out she was dating the 2 of them at the same time. None of us knew un till I mentioned it yesterday and it’s been very hard on them. They started talking to the girl and expressing their emotions while keeping me informed. They said she cried, but she wasn’t sorry like she was ok with what she did but was hurt because the 2 friends were hurt.

This morning I was calling with the 2 friends un till one of them said the girl wanted to talk to me. She came in the call, insulted me for like 2 minutes and left the call before I could say anything. In the call she said that the 2 friends had to choose for either me or the girl, then the girl left. The 2 guys said they weren’t going to choose since they wanted us both in their life. They still have feelings for the girl where I don’t since I was only going out with her for 5 weeks. But it's really awkward right now and I’m clueless on what to do.
tl:dr I tried breaking up with my girlfriend who I've known for 2 months, dating for 5 weeks. I explain to the 2 friends about our secret relationship only to find out that she's dating all of us at the same time. Girl makes the 2 friends choose between me and the girl, 2 friends told me in private that they weren't going to chose since they can't give up on their feelings towards the girl and see me as a great friend.

Chomp8645 posted:

The whole thing was entirely online wasn't it?

quote:

My (21f) boyfriend (30) gets extremely mad if I cry.. It causes me to never express my feelings. I need helppp

Been together 2 and a half years and we live together. He's very very sweet all the time. Obvious that he loves me and I love him.

Basically though.. If I cry, he gets very mad. He says I'm too emotional and get sad and cry for absolutely no reason. I've resorted to saving all my crying for when he isn't home, or when I shower. If I'm sad, instead of comforting me or something, he gets mad at I'm upset because "I have no logical reason to ever be sad because I have a good life". Which yes I do.. But that doesn't mean I don't get sad.

I am emotional and especially around period time. It's just who I am. But I could cry because my dog died, and he'd get so mad at me. What's with this? It makes me feel like I have to pretend to be happy 24/7 to avoid anger. I lurk here all the time and figured I could get some answers

Tl;dr; bf gets very mad if I cry or even if I'm a little sad. How do I make him stop??

Gaunab posted:

loquacius posted:

I feel like a relevant question here is how much does this person cry

Pick posted:

check ages

corn on the cop posted:

he's very very sweet all the time, except when he berates me for being upset

Chomp8645 posted:

The whole thing was entirely online wasn't it?

Like, no two of these four people have ever met in the flesh I bet.

Tender Bender posted:

Yea about halfway through I started wondering this and wasn't surprised when it ended without any mention of a physical or face to face interaction.

quote:

I (29F) think my fiancé (29M) might have a sugar momma (early 50s F).Relationships.

So, let me start of by saying that I absolutely love my fiance Rick, he's an amazing guy. The wedding is set for June 2017 but there is one thing that worries me a little (ok, a lot).

There is this one lady that Rick knows from work. I don't want to go into too much detail, let's just say that this lady, Mrs. Robinson, is a client at Rick's company and Rick was responsible for all the communication between the company and Mrs. Robinson for a while, when Rick's colleague who is normally in charge of that was on maternal leave. Then the colleague came back to work and took care of the communication with Mrs. Robinson. At that point, Rick told me he was a bit sad because Mrs. Robinson always brought him a small gift to their meetings.

Well somehow, Mrs. Robinson and Rick are still in contact. One day, Mrs. Robinson had a meeting at the company and ran into Rick, and they had lunch together. He told me that she is just a nice older lady who is a bit lonely and has too much time and money on her hands.

So, now they meet for coffee or lunch about once a week and somehow they started playing golf together. Rick always loved golf and I think it's kinda boring so I'm glad he has someone he can do that with. Mrs. Robinson has been a golfer for 20+ years and is apparently amazing at it. I never had any issues with their relationship, Rick told me he knew it was a bit weird but he felt like he was the son she never had to her.

And then the presents started. She bought him some golf gear here and there and even gave him a membership card to her golf club. I looked it up on their homepage and it's definitely too expensive to give as a gift without an occasion.

Anyway, I told Rick I was a little uncomfortable with the whole situation and asked him if he would think it was inappropriate if the roles were reversed and I would be playing tennis with an older guy who would buy tennis rackets for me. He thought about it and said, yes, he would probably think it's weird but that's just because I don't know her. He told me it meant so much to him that he finally has a golf "buddy" and he doesn't want to give that up.

So, I decided I wanted to meet her and decide afterwards if their relationship was inappropriate or not. We met for dinner and she was on the one hand very friendly and interested in my career and our wedding plans. But on the other hand, she was also not what I expected. When my fiance talked about her as a "nice older lady" I pictured a friendly grandmotherly type. I didn't expect... Michelle Pfeiffer. She is stunning, very fit and also a bit flirty. But overall it was a nice evening, we talked about the wedding a lot and as it turns out her daughter is a wedding planner. She set us up with her and right now a lot of our wedding planning is in her daughter's hands.

After that evening, I told my fiance that I liked her, she just wasn't what I was expecting. I also told him she was a bit flirty/ touchy, but he assured me that's just how she always is. Thinking back, I can confirm that she was also flirty with all the waiters and all male staff in general, maybe that's just how she is towards all men? Also, my bf told me he just saw her like an aunt or something.

I decided not to be concerned. After all, I trust my fiance. However, last week he told me that Mrs. Robinson was planning a trip to a weekend long golf tournament and wanted him to come with her. All expenses paid. He wants to go so bad but I'm not sure. He told her he would think about it and the next day a brand new set of golf clubs was waiting in his office - her treat, of course. Now he feels he "has to" come.

The other thing that worries me is the whole thing with the wedding planning daughter. Last week, I found out that she actually doesn't have a lot of experience with wedding planning. She is more like an events planner in general and normally organizes charity events. Not a big deal maybe, but I can't forget how enthusiastically Mrs. Robinson talked about all the wonderful weddings her daughter has planned. She definitely is good at lying to one's face. I told Rick about my concerns, and said that I suspect Mrs. Robinson was setting us up with her daughter under false pretences, probably so her daughter could make some money. That's when he told me not to worry, the wedding planning was Mrs. Robinson's wedding present to us and we wouldn't have to pay it. What's up with that?

What do you think, Reddit, am I right to be a bit worried here or am I reading too much into this? Is she really just a very generous person who decided to take my fiance under her wings (maybe because she never had a son)? Or is there some ulterior motive and she's actually attracted to him? My fiance is very handsome and good looking, also really tall and fit... Does she just want to help her daughter get some experience with wedding planning or is she looking for ways to keep him close and dependent on her money?

tl;dr: My fiance has a female friend who is about 20 years older, but looks gorgeous and has a lot of money. He thinks it's innocent but she keeps getting him expensive gifts and now wants to spend a weekend with him away at a luxurious golf hotel. She also somehow became involved with our wedding planning and is paying for it?

Gaunab posted:

"He thinks it's innocent"

Better Fred Than Dead posted:

I can't unless I'm showering

quote:

My (26F) fiance (28M) slept with my sister (32F). Heartbroken and devastated. I can't move on.

Hi Reddit. I'm posting here in the hope that someone can give me some advice, share their experiences, I don't know. I'm just completely at a loss. I feel like my heart has been ripped out.

My fiance (let's call him Jake) and I have been together for 7 years. I don't know a life without him. I met him at university, we stayed together past graduation, and moved into a flat which we bought together 2 years ago. He proposed last summer and we were set to wed in July 2017. We have had very few problems until now.

My sister (let's call her Sara) is an extremely volatile person. Growing up, I doted on her completely but she had a lot of personal issues that made our home life turbulent. Her childhood was very different to mine. My parents had very little money, they were on the brink of a divorce, my dad was physically violent on a number of occasions. Whilst things improved drastically in the years after I was born, she has an abundance of problems that stem back to this. My parents feel a lot of guilt about Sara's upbringing, and used to let her get away with some shocking behavior.

Sara had the same boyfriend for as long as I can remember (they dated from when they were 16), and their relationship was toxic. They habitually broke up and got back together; when they were good, they were crazy in love. But more often than not, she would have these insane arguments (sometimes physical) with him then take out her frustrations and despair on myself and my parents. I remember spending many nights lying by her side in bed while she cried so hard she would retch. After their arguments, she would throw plates and glasses at the wall, hit herself. Sometimes she would hit me and my parents too. It was like he was a drug to her, and she was emotionally stunted and didn't know how to see anything past their relationship.

2 months ago, her boyfriend called things off for good. I don't know what gave, but after nearly two decades together, he finally had enough. He booked a one way ticket to another country, changed his number, deleted all social media profiles, and essentially disappeared from Sara's life. To this day, she still won't explain what caused this, but it was long overdue.

To say Sara was devastated is an understatement. She moved out of their shared rented apartment, and in with my parents. I would visit her most days after work, where she would flit in between explosive rage to an almost catatonic silence, staring at the wall with tears streaming down her face. At one point, we were all extremely worried she might seriously harm herself and organized for her to see a therapist (something I had suggested for years). Of course, she backed out days before her appointment, and there were no consequences. She is, after all, a grown woman. She just hasn't changed emotionally in the entire time I've known her, and still acts like a teenager.

2 days ago. I went to visit Sara, who was in bed in her darkened room. I let myself in and attempted to speak to her, telling her about my day at work. She immediately exploded, screaming at me, throwing her pillows across the room, crying uncontrollably. She told me life was unfair. That I had everything and she was left alone to "rot". That everything wrong in her life was because she was a bad person. She hurt her boyfriend, she drove him away, she's ruined our family, she hosed Jake and didn't even feel guilty at the time. I initially thought I'd misheard her, but then she said it again. It was like she had poured a bucket of ice water over me.

I silently left, shaking. When I got home, Jake was there watching TV. It came out of my mouth the second I saw him, and I could see in his eyes it was true. He broke down, and told me it had happened 3 years ago. Sara had had another blazing row with her boyfriend and decided to drive round to Jake's looking for me. I was at our parents at the time and Jake attempted to pacify Sara. He comforted her while she sobbed in his arms, and one thing led to another. They had sex.

I packed an overnight bag while he followed me from room to room, sobbing and telling me it was the worst mistake of his life, that he still has no idea how it happened. That he felt unbelievably guilty the second it was over, that it feels like it wasn't even real. I left him in the doorway begging me not to leave.

I've checked into a hotel and have switched my phone off. I don't know what to do, who to tell, where to begin. I feel sick, like this is a bad dream. My heart feels like it's been ripped into a million pieces. For all of Sara's faults, I love her more than anything. It's the two people who are more to me than anyone else in the world.

How the gently caress do I move on from this? I feel like I'm in a bubble. I don't know what's going on in the outside world. All I do is cry and sleep in this room. Someone please help me make sense of this.

tl;dr: My volatile sister recently went through a break up after a 16 year relationship with the love of her life. She is severely depressed and almost catatonic; I went to visit her one day only for her to explode and tell me she slept with my fiance 3 years ago. He admitted it was true and I haven't spoken to a soul since. I have locked myself in a hotel room with no plans of ever coming out. My heart is shattered into a million pieces and I don't know what to do.

quote:

It has only been a day or so since I made my post, but it feels like I'd been in that hotel room for weeks, crying in the dark buried under the covers. At some point this morning, I decided to draw the curtains open and let the sunlight in. I went and sat on the balcony and switched my phone on for the first time. It started ringing within 30 seconds. It was my mother, who burst into tears as soon as I answered. Her and my parents had obviously been desperately worried (this is the longest I have ever gone without contact) and had even contemplated calling the police had I failed to contact them by this evening.

My mom informed me that as I was walking out of Sara's room, down the stairs, and out the front door, Sara was screaming and wailing that she's sorry. Funnily enough, I didn't hear this. I don't know how. I think I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't process anything around me. Honestly, I can't even remember the drive home. After I shut the door behind me, my mom (who was the only other person at home) rushed into Sara's room to find her trashing her room and attempting to slash her wrists with a blunt lino cutter of all instruments (Sara used to do a lot of art). Obviously, this barely caused a scratch but jump started my mom into action. She drove Sara to the hospital, where I understand she underwent some sort of assessment and was kept overnight. She has, incredibly, agreed to undergo treatment for whatever it is that is wrong with her. My mom was surprised she was so complaisant on the drive down, willingly entering the car and saying nothing other than asking where I am.

Sara seems resigned and completely deflated; my mom spoke to me at length for the first time in my life about the hardships they had undergone during Sara's childhood. I am unwilling to go into detail and am still in shock about some of the things I heard. Sara is not devoid of responsibility; she has long surpassed the age where she can blame her childhood for her behavior, but my mom admitted through tears that not sending her to therapy at an early age was the biggest regret of her life so far.

I asked my mom if she knew why I had left; she admitted that she had known SINCE SARA'S EX LEFT TWO MONTHS AGO. At this point, I had to struggle not to hang up and I suddenly felt myself going back into that pit, but she begged me to listen. After her ex Harry (I am too drained to invent a name...hi Harry) left, Sara told my mom exactly what had happened. It was not the reason for Harry's departure, although he did know about it. Rather, he had had enough of being Sara's carer, and years of begging her to seek help had fallen on deaf ears one too many times. When Sara informed my mom, my mom told Sara I have to know immediately. Sara refused to tell me, and I still don't know why she changed her mind in that moment. My dad doesn't know for anyone wondering, and thinks I've left as I've also finally had enough of Sara's behavior.

Now here is where the home truths came out. I asked my mom if she knew the details. She was reluctant to tell me anything, stating that it had happened and that was all I needed to know. But I told her I refused to step foot in the house until I knew everything. She then proceeded to tell me that a few months before they slept together, Sara and Jake had kissed at my dad's 60th birthday party. It was a large family gathering with a lot of alcohol involved. I remember Jake getting very drunk with my cousins. Sara had a crying tantrum prior to arriving as her and Harry had an argument and he refused to come (she called me sobbing before she arrived). At some point during the night, Jake asked her if she was okay and hugged her, and once again "one thing led to another" and they shared a kiss in the kitchen. Sara told my mom that they were both immediately remorseful and vowed never to speak of it again, but Sara deliberately sought him out the night they slept together knowing he was unlikely to turn her down. She openly admitted she did it to get back at Harry, who had cheated on her during one of their many infamous breaks. I don't think I even entered her thoughts.

At this point, I'd heard enough. We'd spoken on the phone for over four hours and I felt mentally drained and physically sick. Any hope I had of salvaging my relationship with Jake has completely gone. I feel the last 3 years have been tainted by their betrayal, and the many years before that I wonder: did he like Sara this whole time? Part of me doesn't even want to know.

It's worth noting he has made absolutely no attempt to contact me other than a single TEXT stating "I'm sorry. Take as long as you need". As if it's inevitable I will come back to him.

Things are still up in the air. I don't feel ready to check out of the hotel as I don't know where I'm going to go next. I feel my relationship with my mom has been rocked by these revelations. I don't know what's going to become of Sara. I have no idea what I'm going to do about me and Jake's flat, where I'm going to live. I don't even know if I have a job anymore. I just haven't showed up to work.

But I know the truth and the smallest part of me is grateful for that. The rest of me is consumed by a pain I never imagined possible.

I guess there's nothing else to do now except wait and see how things unfold. But reading through your comments and messages have been more help than you can imagine, thank you thank you thank you.

And for anyone who has have ever experienced symptoms like Sara's, or has been around someone who is so visibly troubled, I beg of you: seek help before it's too late.

tl;dr: I had a four hour conversation with my mom, who not only knew about Sara and Jake, but informed me that they had shared a kiss a few months prior to the event. I am still in the hotel, still heart broken, and have no idea what to do next. The only saving grace is that Sara has agreed to treatment and will not be in my life for the foreseeable future.

quote:

My (23/M) girlfriend's (25/F) sister (18/F) sent me a picture of her lady parts. On purpose.

I've been with my girlfriend for just over two years, and in that time, her sister has made it clear that she has a crush on me. My girlfriend is aware of this, and she's always held onto the belief that it's totally harmless. Just a cute playground crush, likely because her sister is way into kpop and I happen to be Korean. Her sister tells me all the time that I look like Chanyeol from EXO.

She called me Oppa once, too, which was very weird. I asked her not to do that, and she got really embarrassed and apologetic. I felt bad, so I mostly try ignore her little quirks now. If my girlfriend thinks it's harmless, then it's harmless.

That was my original thought process.

About two hours ago, my girlfriend's sister sent me a selfie. Weird. I know she has a crush on me, but she has never sent me photos of herself before. I shrugged it off and continued playing Deus Ex w/o replying. A few minutes later, she sent me another selfie. This time of her body. Unclothed. I immediately freaked out and deleted it, and then I called my girlfriend to tell her. She's away on a trip with her friends right now, so she didn't pick up. I left a message explaining what happened.

I'm just wondering what to do now because I'm supposed to go to her parents' house today, where her sister lives, and help them put up their Christmas lights. My girlfriend still hasn't replied or called me back. I'm assuming she's on the plane still.

Her dad called me shortly before I got the photo and told me I can come by any time I'm ready. I told him I'd be there around one in the afternoon which is soon. Given what happened, I don't want to go anymore, but I already told him I would. He knows I'm okay, otherwise I would just make some poo poo up about feeling sick. It's also Sunday and he knows I work a 9-5, so I can't use work as an excuse either.

What do I do? There's no way I'm going there. If I tell him the truth, he might think I wanted the photo or something crazy like that. She is his youngest daughter. Of course he wouldn't want to think she's capable of doing something like this. Parents tend to want to believe their kids in situations like this, no? Ideally my girlfriend should be the one to handle it, but she's unavailable right now and I'm running out of time.

TL;DR - Girlfriend's younger sister sent me a naked photo. My gf's on a plane right now and hasn't replied to my frantic messages. I'm supposed to go to their family's house to help their dad with the Christmas lights. He called me shortly before the photo was sent to confirm. I told him I would be there. Now what do I do? Obviously I don't want to go anymore or her sister might interpret that was a green light. If I say I'm sick or I have work, he'll know it's bullshit.

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

quote:

 I know she has a crush on me, but she has never sent me photos of herself before. I shrugged it off and continued playing Deus Ex w/o replying.

Khorne posted:

Then again, I also wouldn't have ended my great seven year relationship because my significant other slept with my sibling who came onto them three years ago. If it was an on going thing then that changes everything, and if I found out quickly that'd change everything, but three years with no repeat? Whatever.

Dave Stieb posted:

Lol what the gently caress

Jack Trades posted:

The guy and two sisters need to try a poly relationship.

Psycho Society posted:

I love the trifecta of deal breakers

1. Dating someone who's slept with your sibling. That's gross a.f.

2. Dating someone who cheated on you. Get the gently caress out

3. Dating someone who lied to you about dealbreaker #2 for multiple years. Just laugh at yourself and the ruin of the relationship you were trying to build a future around.

Pvt.Scott posted:

It's not entirely gross. I'd sleep with a woman who had previously slept with my brother. He's a cool dude. I'm not going in for sloppy seconds or anything, but life is weird sometimes.

My long term boyfriend hosed my unstable sister posted:

Thank you for reading, and here's to 2016.

Chichevache posted:

Would you marry a woman who slept with your brother during your relationship with her?

quote:

Husband [34M] is telling me [33F] I shouldn't offer student discounts in my business.

I'm an optometrist and I have my own practice and store. Recently I decided to start offering student discounts. I'm giving students free eye examinations once every two years and 20% discount on the purchases. It's not a freebie, it makes perfect business sense for us. We're still making profits while increasing our loyal customer base and it's free advertisement. There's no discussion that this is a good thing for the business.

My husband however feels like he should tell me that it's a bad idea because we're spoiling the students. I don't interfere in how he does his job and I don't think he should do it with me. I've listened to him and explained to him that it's a good business decision for us and a good offer for students but he keeps saying he disagrees with the principle. I kind of told him that I don't agree and we should drop this but he keeps telling me how a horrible decision this is, not from a business perspective but morally speaking. He says it's discriminatory against non-students and he believes student discounts incentivize people to take loans to go to college. I don't even know how to respond. He benefited a lot from his education as did I.

How do I get him to stop this? It's become his obsession recently.

tl;dr: Husband firmly believes I shouldn't offer student discounts in my bueiness due to moral reasons and doesn't drop it. It's become his obsession.

How I "changed my mind" posted:

I "changed my mind" in that as a kid I always accepted that having kids was this thing you're supposed to want. Babies are cute and poo poo right? ....right? Slowly, I began to draw more and more boundaries. I am now 26. I have changed my mind. I do not want kids.

First I remember as a teenager deciding I psychologically am not ok with the physical experience of pregnancy, or the idea of not being financially independent. I kept saying to myself "If I ever have a kid I want to have enough money to have a surrogate" and then gradually, I realized I was making excuses for something I genuinely didn't want.

Then, at 20 I almost donated my eggs (agencies advertise to female college students, it's a huge thing). About 6 months after signing up, when a family in NJ wanted my eggs, I just thought about the reality of it. I thought of how they weren't aware of necessarily all of the flaws I think I might have genetically (in those past few months had been diagnosed with ADHD), and how cruel that would be to do that to a kid just to get whatever is left over from $8,000 after taxes (assuming no medical complications of being pumped full of hormones). I didn't do it. I also spend a considerable amount of time weighing the chance this could end badly for ME. I thought, "What if I become a cougar? How will I know my new boy toy from Jersey ISN'T my kid??! I CAN'T. I could go to jail. Orange does not look good on me."

Then over the next 5 years I dealt with the following:

1) lifeguarding

A few hundred 1-4 year olds who literally tried to kill themselves all the time

2) was a camp counselor

Girls aged 8-13, some of which were sweet but most of which are just incredibly boring and generally don't respect you unless you act like you don't care about them

3) pregnancy ruins your body

Pretty people at work ballooned into disabled gaunt-faced sacs of milk and cortisol. Newsflash: Your baby gets everything from you first. Unless there's a complication, you're the one being drained. Mothers will go on about how horrible it is...until they realize that's why you don't want to be pregnant. Then they backpedal. "IT'S NOT SO BAD. YOU WON'T REMEMBER WHAT YOUR VAGINA FEELS LIKE BUT THAT IS NORMAL IF YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT ALSO SLEEP IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT THE BODY HAS WAYS OF COMPENSATING I READ IT ON A BLOG FROM 2004"

4) I like sex

I have seen almost insurmountable evidence that children ruin your sex life. I have almost no evidence that they don't. I think sex is INSANELY important to relationships and I cannot fathom staying with someone I wasn't trying to bang every chance I got. It only takes a search or 2 to find endless accounts of couples who thought they'd never let that happen ....but it always does. (ex: r/deadbedrooms) Those people seem to always get a reply or two "That happened to me but we schedule 1 date night a week and everything is back to normal!!!" ...........................................bull. loving. poo poo...no, I am not paying to gently caress my husband. I am not paying to spend time alone with my life partner. I don't accept the idea that you can fix a relationship with a chore. I am single but whatever that's not the point shut up.

5) I like drugs

I like the prescriptions that manage my pretty severe adhd and even though I've lowered my dosage to hopefully gradually not need it so much, it's daily work. I like feeling like I'm making progress with my health. I like my nice clear skin that took years of hormonal birth control pills, creams, and antibiotics to achieve. I like being able to put something in my body because I want a certain result without having to worry about it not being good for a parasite inside me. There's a world renown drug addiction expert who says 70-80% of all drug users are moderate users and that most people use drugs in one way or another, be it caffeine or alcohol or whatever. I personally believe all drugs should be legalized and regulated.

6) found out about preggo porn

Nooooooooooope. Nope nope noooooooooope. I am not a human submarine and I don't want a guy who looks at me as a vessel for his spawn and gets off to that. I read so many posts about men not being as attracted to their wives, I assume it's just expected that they won't be. I assume men are taught to think "This is temporary, a means to an end. She will be attractive again. This is what settling is about." Yet women are like SHOCKED when their partners don't find them attractive 50 lbs heavier with a bowling ball in their gut. I would be weirded out if a guy was attracted to pregnant women so why would I think he'd be attracted to me like that?

7) tutoring kids from bad areas

I helped kids not fail out of college. I helped them get accepted into med school, film school, dental school, programs they never thought they could get into. Undocumented students with stories of being brought over as children that became the most moving, bilingual Junot-Diaz-esque pieces after starting our first sessions insisting "I'm not a writer." A few told me I was the first person to ever tell them doing what makes you happy is the most important thing. Sorry, but I don't consider it an achievement to teach basic motor skills to normal babies with no problems. It is harder for them to NOT post pictures of their kids.

8) looked up child homelessness statistics

They are heart-wrenching. It honestly makes me furious that the system is set up so it's so expensive, yet you can have no money and have your own. It seems like our whole society is systemized in ways that perpetuate racism and other ways of discriminating. For ex: the backwards social norm of pity for infertility while children with nothing are literally praying for someone to care.

9) autistic nephew

Visited my family a bunch while he screamed at every waking moment.

10) gender equality

Our society believes CF is somehow selfish, proof this is still a world where people are comfortable talking down to women and telling them they are sure they don't know what they really want. I do comedy writing so I'm always finding ways to clap back at people who challenge me on my choices, but it is annoying. People constantly want to label you as a bad person for judging the things they are comfortable with you being oppressed by. You'd think challenging traditional roles would be encouraged. You'd think criticizing things that oppress and limit us would be celebrated. I'm sure most CF women here can relate to how it's sort of uncharted territory in gender equality. And so it can be pretty alienating. But that's how you know the Kool-Aid is so strong.

11) nobody cared how awesome my baby name suggestions were even though I did literally hours of work making lists because I love linguistics. They chose dumb names. Part of me thinks I say slightly different versions of their babies names on purpose to spite their terrible decision to not choose from my list of awesome names.

12) climate change

do i even have to explain this?

13) material

I find it hilarious that people choose to have kids when they know how terrible it will be. It gives me permission to make fun of them. Anytime people choose to make their lives difficult on purpose and act surprised when it's exactly what it probabilistically was going to be like, it is material and it is hilarious. Like "oh my god I didn't know I'd feel like poo poo after choosing to have more and more cake but I love cake and it was definitely worth it even though I have diabetes now wouldn't change it for the world"

edit: typos & formatting

quote:

I don't really know how to post here as I never have before. But I honestly can't even think straight. I don't know what to do or how to go about this situation but my boss has always shown interest in me from the moment he hired me and would always flirt and drop little hints around me. Recently he came back from a 2 month vacation and I'm not gonna lie, I have a liking to him and we both expressed how we missed each other. So yesterday I went to his office to ask a question to change my schedule and he was asking me if we could hang out sometime and we exchanged numbers. I know this is wrong but I just want other people's opinions on this. I am very conflicted I don't know what to think about it
Tldr: me and my boss have developed a personal relationship behind closed doors

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and have a wonderful relationship. He is lovely and sweet and is my best friend.
My problem is that some people in my life, as well as random strangers, feel the need to make accusations of him because of his age. The latest example is that a coworker found out our age difference and commented about how a guy that much older than me is using me, or is manipulative and molding me into what he wants since I am young. This isn't the first time someone has said this. People who have never even met him and barely know me dismiss my relationship by saying things like this and its ridiculous. It is often my colleagues or older women who say these things.
Another example is people his age commenting "I see why you're with her" when they meet me. I say people his age because they aren't his friends but usually coworkers and acquaintances.
I guess my question is, why do people feel like they have a right to say things like this, and how can I get them to stop?
tl;dr: People are rudely commenting on my relationship and I'd like them to stop.

Anony Mouse posted:

Me (16f) and my boss (30sM) have developed a personal relationship.

Anony Mouse posted:

Let's play "guess the age gap!"
People in my life are making offensive comments about me (23 F) and my boyfriend's (32 M) relationship.