Hugoon Chavez posted:

I don't know man, if the social worker knows her and her case she might be onto something. She's still a kid but that behavior isn't normal for her age even if you consider abuse.

That said, if the girl has a history of abuse and of manipulating older men... Why is she being fostered to a single man in the first place? In fact, wouldn't fostering any abused 16yo girl to a single man be a bit weird in any case?

quote:

A guy took my gf [23f] home and she was extremely drunk. She said she was going to cheat on me but she didn't. I [23m] don't know if I believe her.

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

My girlfriend went clubbing last friday. She's not a person that's into clubbing and it was her first time, but she decided to go with friends and I didn't want to prevent her from having that experience. I don't enjoy clubs myself but whatever - if she wanted to have a good time with her friends, who I am to say she can't?

The last call happens around 3 a.m. here - she came home about 7 a.m.., which is why I think she's full of poo poo. A guy brought her home from the club. I started getting worried when she wasn't home by 3 a.m. honestly because I didn't think she would stay until the last call but fine. Then the hours passed by and she still wasn't home, until she showed up with this guy. I'm feeling so humiliated. Yeah, you gently caress another guy then he brings you back home.

But. I don't know if she actually cheated. She was extremely drunk and she said she was on her way of committing an awful mistake and then she stopped. I asked her why she took so long to come home and she said she went to his house but decided she wouldn't cheat on me. She stayed there because she was "too drunk" (?), having a headache etc and thought it would be better to wait a few hours. But she swears she didn't cheat on me. What do you guys think?

tl;dr: Girlfriend went clubbing for the first time and a guy brought her back home around 7 a.m.. The last calls happens at 3 a.m..

tactlessbastard posted:

Smells like greasy disappointment brewing!

Trevor Hale posted:

I feel uncomfortable trusting a redditor over a social worker, tbh.

Trevor Hale posted:

I feel uncomfortable trusting a redditor over a social worker, tbh.

quote:

We have been together about 4 years, married for 1. It was more rocky than usual the night it happened and I told her I wanted a divorce. She had been staying out late and blowing off my attempts to spend more time with her, so I snooped on her phone and found a pic of her, waist down in her underwear with "cat scratches" saying "these don't look like they came from a cat lol." She had gone over to his place to avoid suicide by cutting herself and then let/made him cut her. She claims that's all that happened. Her phone doesn't keep a long history so it only went back a couple days. Meanwhile she's sending many messages about "having to deal" with me on my birthday, "reluctantly loving me and wanting to throw up after" as well as some flirty stuff. He almost always responds with 1 word. Never dismissive but not engaging.

I forwarded the worst ones to my email and confronted her about it. Now she says she was never invested emotionally in anyone else and never did anything with anyone. She wants to "start over" now and try to fix it, and wants the emails deleted. She blames me for saying I wanted a divorce and set her over the edge. We have a 2 year old boy together and I want to work things out for him but I don't trust her at all, and can't see it coming back. I'm fully confident she would have messed around with him eventually if I hadn't caught on or already has at some point. She only says she'd have waited until we were divorced to do anything with him.

So tl;dr: she has been cutting her legs, at another dude's place, sending inappropriate pics, and claims nothing physical or emotional happened.

Can this be fixed? Should I give her a chance when I don't forsee ever being able to trust her? Does it matter if she's trying to cheat but just hasn't been successful?

quote:

Can't stop having inappropriate thoughts about my (22F) best friends (23/23/24M). What do I do?

Background: These three men are my absolute best friends. Each of them has known me at my best and seen me at absolute, rock bottom worst. I've known Theo (24M) since high school, around seven years; Cal (23M) for about nine, and Stanley (23M) for around for or five.

I met my boyfriend of two years, Steve (27M) at school out of my home state, and we moved back into this state after I graduated. Shortly after moving back I spent a weekend with Theo, Cal, and Stanley, and now I cannot stop thinking sexual thoughts about them- really dirty stuff, group sex, rough sex, the whole nine yards.

I love Steve with all my heart. We live together, we want to get married and raise a family together. But these thoughts are driving me crazy, I'm thinking about sex with my best friends CONSTANTLY to the point where it's all that turns me on right now. Sometimes Steve is involved in these dreams/fantasies but just as often not.

I will say in the interest of full disclosure that there have been feelings/sexual interest of some kind of another discussed between me and each of my friends at some point during us knowing each other, but I have no idea where that stands now, and it doesn't matter because I am in a relationship, as is one of them (Cal).

How do I stop thinking this way?? I love all of these men with all my heart and I don't want to lose them, but I'm starting to feel kind of crazy.

tldr: Thinking sexual thoughts about best friends of almost a decade, have a boyfriend, how do I fix this??

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My wife (23f) has been texting some dude. After a fight, the day before my birthday, she went over to his house to cut herself and let him cut her. I (28m) have no clue what to do and we have a kid.
loving what

quote:

My [25 f] roommate of two months just yelled at me [23f] Unsure of how to handle this.

So two months ago I moved in with 4 girls. It's a semi different situation as I'm white and they all black and this roomie let's call her Tyra started off calling me her white bitch to her friends as a term of endearment.

We have poles in our living room as the two of us pole dance and the apartment is pretty much clothing optional. We are always shirtless

Tyra is a self confessed alcoholic and gets extremely drunk every night but mostly just gets super loud and pole dances.

Tonight though I was half naked and pole dancing when my mom called I paused the music and talked to my mom while still walking around my pole.

Tyra suddenly walks in the front door with a girl I haven't met, this doesn't bother me and I don't care about people seeing my breasts. Tyra yells at me, "get the gently caress in your room girl."

I went in my room and was stunned. Then when I walked back out the other girl was gone and I told Tyra she couldn't talk like that to me and especially when I'm on the phone.

She gets in my face and tells me that she was bringing people over and didn't want me to be exposed for my safety. Because that's how assaults happen. I am an assault survivor so it's not like I'm not aware of the possibility. But she was saying this in super condescending tones. I left and went to my room and just needed personal space.

She came banged on the door yelling about apologizing to me and I asked her if she could just apologize through the door. I really didn't want to face her.

Now she's yelling about it to her friend and I can hear it. I don't know what to do. I have to go out for the bathroom but I don't know how to handle this.

Tl;dr roommate yelled at me and now I'm stuck in my room.

loquacius posted:

I really don't think a cutter should be raising a kid

Skratte posted:

Gaunab posted:

Captain Yossarian posted:

What on earth lol

Skratte posted:

Pussy Quipped posted:

I know the exact smell their apartment has.

quote:

my (20) boyfriend (31) left me for his pregnant ex girlfriend (19?)

I don't know of I want advice, someone to talk to, or just to loving vent, but here it goes.
Yesterday I was woken up by my boyfriend of three months's ex girlfriend shouting "what the gently caress!!??"
He hops out of bed to go talk to her, and I just kinda hide awkwardly in the bed. She comes back in the room to hug his son (9), then leaves for good. He comes back in laughing his rear end off. I'm giggling too, but say "im not laughing" he said "Yes you are"
He then explains that she had been pestering him for getting some closure for a long time, and he said she could come by on her lunch break. He knew she wanted to talk about getting back together. He was pretty sure after that she no longer wanted to talk about getting back together. He didn't know that her lunch break would be so early. It seemed pretty loving funny, as awful as it was. I walked home and went to work.
Here's where it gets less funny. On my lunch break I check my texts. There's one from my boyfriend that says "so I figured out why she's been so adamant about getting back together"
My first thought: "dear God if you tell me she's pregnant..." Followed by "no, that's too much like a movie. That can't be it."
But it was. She's 3-4 months pregnant with his kid.
She wants to try to make things work for the kid. He was considering it, and told her he would give her an answer this morning. On the one hand, he needs to be their for his child, on the other, he knows she's not his " happy ending" (his words) and that I make him happy, and that he would probably always have feelings for me because there were too many "what ifs." But he has to choose. I haven't even had time to process if I want to be with a guy whose ex girlfriend is pregnant with his child. He had me over last night. I realize as we're talking that this is very likely our last night together. We cuddled until 430 in the morning. I had to leave because she would be there early.
He still hadn't made his decision at this point. He tells me "even if I choose her, don't think it's because I don't love you." That's the first time he told me he loved me. I walked home, and when I woke up and I hadn't heard from him, I knew he made his choice. I texted him to confirm. He chose her. He said he needed to choose responsibility over his heart, and asked if we could still be friends.
I then went for a long walk and did a lot of screaming.
Now I know it was only 3 months, but this guy has now set the bar way too loving high. I've never had anyone treat me as good as he treated me, and I'm pretty sure I'll never find anyone else who does.
Thanksgiving is gonna be great, when my mother asks me "oh, how's that guy you've been seeing doing?" And in front of my parents, 3 siblings, grandfather, grandfather's wife, and great grandmother I'll say "oh he decided he needed to be with his pregnant ex girlfriend." Looking forward to that.
Tl;dr: my boyfriend left me for his pregnant ex girlfriend, and told me he'd always have feelings for me.

Mocking Bird posted:

As a CPS social worker, the onus was on this social worker to not place a child with sexualized behaviors in the home of a single man if that was a significant concern. Now that she's there, and the social worker doesn't seem to be asking to move her, she needs to get on board with supportive services like in-home therapy and support. If she's worried the girl will be molested but can't prove anything, the best thing she can do is put more eyes and ears on the situation rather than berate the dad, because if he's a predator that just lets him know you're watching and if he's not you're alienating the only person helping this girl.

Her behavior isn't atypical, my seventeen year old foster daughter is sometimes more like an eight or nine year old than a high school senior.

The locking door concerns me, though. Hopefully he means that she locks the door from the inside and it's a flimsy knob lock, because it's illegal (in my state and hopefully all states) to lock your foster child in a room from the outside and you should be able to respond to emergencies in their rooms without being slowed down (aka that guy better be ready to kick in a door).

quote:

When I was 17, the girl I was dating became pregnant. We did not want to have a child, so we prepared for adoption. We split up (not amicably) before the baby was born, but I was there at the birth, signed the birth certificate, adoption papers etc.

Time passes. For 17+ years, I believed I had a biological son out there somewhere. Although it was an open adoption, I did not keep ties (the mother did). One day, a couple years ago I got curious and looked him up on Facebook.

Turns out, the kid is clearly not mine. He is the spitting image of the guy that my high school girlfriend was dating right before me (the guy she dumped to be with me). Somehow, I was confused/stupid about the timelines and this kid is not mine. I won't show pictures, but I showed my wife and a few close friends and they all agreed - it's plain to see he is not of my line.

Today, he is requesting to be my friend on Facebook. As far as I know, he is still under the impression that I am his biological father. I am inclined to let him know that is not the case. However, his real biological father would have no way of knowing this, and I don't understand how his biological mother is not already aware (or perhaps she is deluding herself). I have not spoken to his biological mother or his real biological father for close to 20 years. What should I do?

sleppy posted:

Holy poo poo I searched for that looking for a little more context, and the OP's username is transfosterdad. Didn't see that one coming.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Well this got weird. Poor guy.

quote:

About a month ago I went to a strip club in town because I was bored and really didn't have much to do. I've gone a few more times since then, and the other day I was there met this beautiful girl that I took for a few dances. Needless to say I spent a good chunk of time and money with her and I left a happy man.

I went back again a few days later and she was working, she saw me walk in, stopped talking to whoever she was talking to at that point, and sat down with me and had some good conversation. Took her for a few more dances, and she starting hooking up with me. Paid her about two songs worth but we were there for like an hour, and she didn't ask for me to pay up. Instead she gave me her real name and her number, added me on Facebook and instagram, and said that we should hang out outside the club like normal people.

Now I figured it was just work, maybe she's trying to make me a regular and to get me to come in more often, but our conversations started getting less flirty and sexual and more personal. She would tell me about her day, ask me for advice on small things like a close friend would, what I thought about this and that, like she really did want me to get to know her. It's been about two weeks since I was last in the club and if I wasnt the one starting the conversation, she was, and she's still throwing hints out that she wants to hang. I'm definitely interested, but I haven't forgotten the fact I'm talking to a stripper.

Should I just take the bait and take her out on a date? With the way our conversations been going and the kind of information she's trusting me with, I feel less skeptical that it's a stripper trying to make money, and more just a girl with a genuine interest in me.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Well this got weird. Poor guy.

quote:

For the purpose of the post I will refer to my girlfriend as Sally. I met Sally 3 years ago at university, when she isn't at university she is living with her mother and sister at home, she lives in a city that’s about an hour drive from my house, as we both work we only see each other about once a week.

About a year into the relationship, it became clear that sallys’ sister has taken on a kind of pseudo parent role and seems to be far too involved and interested in sallys life than a normal sister would be. Sally began telling me of the way her sister had acted in the past and she seems to be very controlling and manipulative, kicking off and smashing items in the house if she doesn’t get her own way.

One day whilst visiting me Sally told me of the way she had been treated and that she had had enough. Thinking I was being helpful I offered Sally to come and stay with me for a while & she agreed. I drove her home so she could collect her things, about 20 minutes later I get a phone call from Sally in the house saying that her sister had locked her in the house (Sally doesn’t have her own key for reasons I am not entirely sure). When her mother arrives home she tells me to stop getting involved in their family affairs & starts to become more aggressive so I drove off & went back home.

After this happened, I was told that sallys family had listened to her and understood her problems and things would change (they didn’t). However, I was invited to go on holiday with them in September, they said that they wanted to get to know me. Although I thought it may be somewhat awkward, I decided it would be best to go & maybe it would've been an opportunity to build bridges. Over the course of the holiday there were no ill feelings from what I could tell however once we arrived back in the UK I found it somewhat bizarre that neither the mother or the sister said goodbye to me, anyway, I shrugged it off and moved on.

In-between now and then, our relationship has been somewhat unstable & we had decided to take a break from each other.

As we don’t see each other very regularly, we talk a lot on Facebook and agreed to meet up today on Sallys’ day off work. As her mum and sister tell her that it is selfish to spend her days off seeing me, she told them that she was working and came to my house instead. However, her mum and sister travelled to her place of work, saying that they wanted to spend the day shopping. This didn’t make sense as Sally had told her she was working late. The more I think about this the more I think that her mum and sister were actually just checking up on her.

Her mum then rings, aware that sally had lied and demanding an explanation, I can overhear from the conversation, her mum telling her how stupid she is for spending time with me and if she sees me near their house she will “put me in the hospital”. I am still genuinely confused as to what I have done to provoke this kind of reaction. Sallys’ mum demands that she comes home immediately.

Fast forward a few hours, I dropped Sally off at home only to have her text me 15 minutes later that her mother & sister had logged into her Facebook account & had read through our entire conversation history of the past 3 years which not only means they have read through very private/intimate messages but they had also likely seen multiple nudes from both Sally & myself. I feel like this is a massive breach of our privacy and shows that her family has little respect for both of us and our relationship, thinking of the messages we have sent each other being read by her family makes me feel genuinely ill.

I really don’t know what to do, I really care for her and am desperate to make it work but the longer we spend together the more clear it is becoming that we will never be allowed to have a normal life together with the way her family behave.

TL;DR my girlfriends mother has read all of our Facebook messages of the last 3 years & I'm not sure how to react.

Syncopated posted:

My [23M] GF'[23F] mother [51F] has logged into GFs' Facebook account & read our entire message thread of the past 3 years

Bonzo posted:

A stripper[20F] I met a few weeks ago is interested in me [23M] and gave me her number and asked to hang outside the club. How should I proceed?



lol

Can't wait for the update when he figures out he's like, the 5th guy she's stringing along.

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Well this got weird. Poor guy.

Bonzo posted:

A stripper[20F] I met a few weeks ago is interested in me [23M] and gave me her number and asked to hang outside the club. How should I proceed?



lol

Can't wait for the update when he figures out he's like, the 5th guy she's stringing along.