/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

[25, F] My boyfriend [25, M] kicked me out of the car midway through a ride and made me walk home.

The relationship is perfect other than this one thing!!!

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:50

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 16:26

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

[25, F] My boyfriend [25, M] kicked me out of the car midway through a ride and made me walk home.

She needs to get the gently caress out of there.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:56

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

[25, F] My boyfriend [25, M] kicked me out of the car midway through a ride and made me walk home.

I've been kicked out of a girls car about a mile from my house, but at least she was driving.

Also yes, she needs to definitely drop that guy. She can be needy as gently caress with a ton of baggage but short of wishing death on his whole family, that was a total nono on his part.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:10

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

I would really love to know what the argument was about.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:13

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

That post about the slob girl using her roommate as a kind of platonic boyfriend while she's busy banging other dudes is loving awesome and I love it

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:18

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Chichevache posted:

I would really love to know what the argument was about.

If r/relationships has taught me anything, it was probably about video games or sex. Possibly video game sex.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:19

Doctor J Off: Dec 28, 2005; There Is

sinking belle posted:

That post about the slob girl using her roommate as a kind of platonic boyfriend while she's busy banging other dudes is loving awesome and I love it

I like how that guy isn't even the biggest doormat in the story

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:24

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT: Oct 14, 2016; A thinking, breathing house? You're mad!

Chichevache posted:

I would really love to know what the argument was about.

Yep, the guy is a turd but the fact that she carefully omitted any clues to the nature of the argument makes me wonder a little.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:30

100 degrees Calcium: Jan 23, 2011

I bet the dude eats nothing but chicken fingers and the girl was just trying to convince him to eat a broccoli.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:34

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

quote:

A man (38/M) I (19/F) met online wants to buy my blood. Should I do it?

Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So I am in college, and I've been webcamming on the internet to make some money on the side, and it's pretty profitable. Recently, there's been a guy who comes by and drops a decent amount of cash on my cam shows, which is nice. Today, I just got a message from him saying that he thinks I'm cute, and wish he could get closer to me.
Of course, creepy people like him are expected in this line of work, but then he offered to buy my used tampons if I mailed it to him. He offered a shockingly large amount of money for it ($8,000 for a month's worth of tampons) to me. He then dropped $200 of donations into my cam show, and said it was a gesture of goodwill.
As creepy as it is, 8,000 is a lot of money, for something I just throw away. Should I do it?

Jesus Christ.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I think she should take the $8000, that's a good deal.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:38

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I think she should take the $8000, that's a good deal.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:38

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

She'd be stupid not to, honestly. 8k for 7 days give or take of work that you don't even have to really do anything for? Girl gimme his email

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:42

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I think she should take the $8000, that's a good deal.

Seriously, hook me up with this girl, she can send him my blood and she can keep half the money, I don't care

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:43

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Just make sure you send that poo poo with no return address and I don't see the problem.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:43

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I mean she doesn't even need to give her blood. Just get some blood from a butcher shop and use that.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:44

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

WampaLord posted:

Just make sure you send that poo poo with no return address and I don't see the problem.

Yeah I thought of that, she should definitely mail it from somewhere other than near where she lives. The $8000 will cover the gas.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:45

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT: Oct 14, 2016; A thinking, breathing house? You're mad!

Either this guy has a very specific fetish or black magic is afoot.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:47

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

^a good case for using blood from the butchers. Or if you want authenticity just...go into a public washroom and root through the tampon disposal :stonk:

Write the address of your worst enemy, that way if he's a psycho killer, two birds.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:48

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

sinking belle posted:

That post about the slob girl using her roommate as a kind of platonic boyfriend while she's busy banging other dudes is loving awesome and I love it

I love how nerds have an outrageous superiority complex about being smarter and therefore better than everyone else, and then it turns out they navigate their relationships and sweeping dunes of cat poo poo like sociopathic nomads.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:49

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT posted:

Either this guy has a very specific fetish or black magic is afoot.

Or he plans on framing her for a crime he committed!

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:50

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [30/F] am having a lot of issues with my roommates [28/M, 26/F] who don't contribute and call me "Mom."

Sometimes when I read these stories I picture everyone as being good looking. I have to remind myself that they're most likely overweight/gross.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I'm just imagining someone letting semen dribble down their thighs onto roving mounds of cat litter, being like, hell yeah I love dr. who im an intellectual, and if u cant handle me at my worst u dont deserve me at my best

# ? Nov 23, 2016 20:55

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [30/F] am having a lot of issues with my roommates [28/M, 26/F] who don't contribute and call me "Mom."

Holy poo poo I just finished reading this one and I know someone so much like Tina that it's scary. Last I heard from this girl she bought a bunch of worms to start eating as food because it's apparently more cost effective and full of protein and begs for free stuff on facebook

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Holy poo poo I just finished reading this one and I know someone so much like Tina that it's scary. Last I heard from this girl she bought a bunch of worms to start eating as food because it's apparently more cost effective and full of protein and begs for free stuff on facebook

is she one of those people who posts facebook memes about how marilyn monroe was a size 10

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:05

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Pick posted:

is she one of those people who posts facebook memes about how marilyn monroe was a size 10

No she's a weird Otaku and humiliated me when I introduced her to a friend from Japan by going "ohhhhh kawaii!!!" and doing a peace sign

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:07

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [30/F] am having a lot of issues with my roommates [28/M, 26/F] who don't contribute and call me "Mom."

The GBS cuck meme

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

54 40 or gently caress posted:

No she's a weird Otaku and humiliated me when I introduced her to a friend from Japan by going "ohhhhh kawaii!!!" and doing a peace sign

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:10

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Pick posted:

if u cant handle me at my worst u dont deserve me at my best

This phrase is one of the biggest red flags in the world, along with "I'm not racist, but", "have you heard of compersion?", and "does your house have stairs?".

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:10

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

54 40 or gently caress posted:

No she's a weird Otaku and humiliated me when I introduced her to a friend from Japan by going "ohhhhh kawaii!!!" and doing a peace sign

ahh, a foreigner, let me recant the stereotypes I know about your country

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:12

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Chichevache posted:

This phrase is one of the biggest red flags in the world, along with "I'm not racist, but", "have you heard of compersion?", and "does your house have stairs?".

Add in "I can't stand drama."

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:14

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

54 40 or gently caress posted:

No she's a weird Otaku and humiliated me when I introduced her to a friend from Japan by going "ohhhhh kawaii!!!" and doing a peace sign

have I got a thread for you
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3444416

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:16

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Ladies and Gentlemen....Religion

quote:

Me [23M] with my WIFE [25 F] 1 year of marriage, very religious

Hi! I got married at 22, virgin, since we are both very religious. I loved her and we wanted to do missionary work together.

Recently, though, I don't recognize the voice in my own head.

Our sex life has been really frustrating. We haven't really had penetrative sex since she is very shy and incapable of relaxing.

She even tried seeing a doctor but she wouldn't even allow the doctor to see or touch her without crying.

I tell her it's ok and we try doing sort of a rubbing thing that she seems to enjoy and I kinda manage to enjoy too, but it's a little painful. And I've been growing very frustrated. Hands or oral stuff is completely off-limits for her because of how shy she is.

I struggled with pornography, so maybe my expectations are not adjusted. I don't know.

What kills me is that she changed so much after the wedding. She has always been a big girl, but she just quit exercising altogether, eating crap the whole day, playing video-games and not cleaning or cooking. I've been doing all that by myself, working more hours than she does.

And this frustration seems to manifest itself as this little voice that tells me to bail, that doubts my religious believes, that tells me to cheat on her, watch pornography... I hate myself for it.
I never treat her badly but I also don't confront her. I just keep playing nice and trying to make her happy.

But I am not happy myself...

I don't know what do do. Everybody I know is from church and talking to them would mean losing position, status and the opportunity to do the things we planned to do.
I'm lost.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:19

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Oh man, that post describes so many Christian dudes that went to my highschool. They all were normal looking decent dudes that ended up with larger women just because they went to their church.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 21:24