tactlessbastard posted:

My wife just had a baby, about to corner the blood market!

54 40 or gently caress posted:

My text tone is a Japanese kawaii girl saying cute stuff.

lmao

quote:

Me [24F] with my BF [23M] wouldn't stop touching me when I ask to stop and I snapped and he's mad at me

I am so upset right now. I can't even believe that we are in a fight about this. SO SORRY for the rambling, bad grammar, and disorganization. I am on one right now.

So I work from home. My days mostly consist of me in my office at my desk for my 8 hours but occasionally when my boyfriend is home that day with me (if he's not at school or something) then I may have lunch downstairs with him or crawl back into bed with him on my breaks or sit close to him on the couch.

Usually when I am working I am in production mode, so he knows not really to talk to me and that I can't engage in much interaction at all outside of those limited breaks and slow times. He is usually very understanding about this, as he is usually understanding about a lot of things.

One thing about him is that he doesn't listen very well if I ask him to stop doing things that annoys me though, working or not. Like he loves to grab my boobs all the time which normally I don't mind but when it is during my work hours this is very annoying. It is not like he just comes up to me and grabs them while I am at my desk, but like I said i may go lay back down in bed with him usually at least once per day. I love getting to see him a little bit in the day times on my breaks, that is one of my favorite things about working from home.

However one thing I don't like is when I have to repeatedly tell him "stop" "stop" "don't do that" "i said not while I'm working please" like I feel like a loving broken record it is so aggravating. He just "forgets" i guess or basically just doesn't care what my wishes are.

I will tell him, "Please, i have told you, i don't want to be sexual during work hours because I need to keep my focus" like me going in there and laying down for a minute does not have to be sexual, he doesn't always try to make it sexual, like today he mentioned he wanted to have sex today and i said "ok after work then" and he said "ok" and seemed to understand, but just like normal, he goes downstairs on my lunch with me and multiple times reaches out to grab my boobs and i have to be like STOP! over and over.

So anyway, multiple times throughout the day today I enforced my feelings about the fact that I DONT WANT TO BE SEXUAL WHILE IM AT WORK and we can have sex later after my shift and I've expressed how tired I am and how stressed I am to get all my work done before the long holiday weekend.

OKay so I've already mentioned to it today over and over how I feel about the sexual stuff, well just a little bit ago I heard the door open downstairs and it was him coming home from visiting his grandma who is our neighbor. I walked downstairs to greet him real quick because I was at a good stopping place at work and I was able to take a quick break. I am happy to see him so i sit down on the couch with him for a minute and he starts rubbing my vagina through the outside of my underwear. I instantly get FURIOUS because i have seriously asked him over and over today! I feel like a broken record! It is so offensive! It makes me feel like he doesn't care how I feel at all! It makes my heart hurt so bad. I couldn't take it. I snapped and was like STOP I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT WHILE IM WORKING NOW QUIT , like pretty loudly and it definitely probably came off rude because i was truly snapping!

He got offended at my reaction! He said "you didn't need to snap like that" but i don't know what he expected me to do!? Suddenly it is my fault for being rude and he said I didn't have to react that way but I am TRULY AT A LOSS Because obviously just asking him nicely has proven to NOT work because he DOES NOT listen.

I expressed all this time him and he told me that he would't have snapped on me if it were reversed, which pisses me off so bad because now I have to feel guilty about expressing my feelings about something i DO NOT WANT HAPPENING TO MY BODY.

I am like so so upset right now because he is going to start acting like he can't touch me ever or something. He thinks I am just being totally crazy.

He doesn't like when I try to remove a stray mustache hair from his face (because it hurts obviously) so I tried to use that an example, i was like, what if i kept trying to pull out your mustache hairs and you tell me to stop, over and over and over and finally i do it a 5th time , what would you do, you would snap! Anyone would!?

REDDIT, am I being crazy? How can I get him to understand that this is NOT MY FAULT. I am so upset right now that he thinks I AM TO BLAME for snapping when I just had ENOUGH of asking him to stop touching my genitials. Just because we are dating doesn't mean he owns my body and that is how he is making me feel. What do I do? He is never the disrespectful type and as I explain this all to him like "you need to respect my body" he thinks that I am just being dramatic and making him seem like a kind of rapey guy so then it's just my fault even more. HELP

I love being affectionate with him and stuff, just not while I'm working and I don't know what to do to get him to understand that I shouldn't be held at blame for getting fed up with the fact he refuses to listen to me. How can I get him to understand that this doesn't mean I don't EVER want to be affection or sexual and that this isn't a punishment?

ALSO - I have told him over and over that him like rubbing my vag thru clothing or underwear does nothing for me and that I wish he would just quit because it is uncomfortable but he won't. just makes me feel he thinks his opinions on what happens to my vagina his call and not mine

TLDR: work from home, sometimes during my shift boyfriend will touch me or try to initiate sex when i've made it clear that I do not want to engage in that while I am at work, today i asked him to stop over and over, he did it a final time and i just got so fed up and raised my voice begging him to stop and he is upset with my reaction and thinks i shouldnt have snapped.

quote:

My [27F] housemate [33M] will not stop peeing all over the place

Hi guys, I'm sure this seems like a fairly tame question in comparison to a lot of things here on the face of it, but I have had enough of dealing with it alone and have no idea how to handle it.

I live with my boyfriend (33) of 4 years in his house, with his friend of many years, who I will dub "the piddler".
I don't pay rent due to being unemployed from illness, so I do all the housework and pay for our cats' food, vet etc, and whatever else I can. BF has a dirty and physically exhausting job, so it means the house gets pretty messy itself - as well as with the fur from cats. This is fine! I don't mind cleaning up after him and doing all his laundry. I DO however mind our housemate's cleanliness. It is questionable in every sense.

Aside from spilling tea and coffee everywhere every time he makes a cup (all over worktops and floors) and not wiping it up, and his bedroom smelling like an alcoholic died in there, my main grudge is with his toilet habits as you may have gathered. The piddler piddles everywhere. Not just on the seat and floor, but on the back of the toilet, in all the nooks and crannies of where the seat is bolted on, and it has stained all the plastic. It smells disgusting.

I already mentioned it once after being fed up of wiping down the seat before sitting every time, standing in puddles in socks etc, but this has just meant "I will maybe wipe the drips off the seat....sometimes" It's still a problem, I have already replaced the seat once. It takes me twice as long to clean the toilet because of trying to scrape up thick, dried on piss. If I go away, the bathroom is not cleaned and this is also his free pass to not wipe up after himself, so it gets worse.

I ask bf to tell him to stop, but he says "I'll have to do it in the moment, when I go in after him" and it still doesn't get better.

This guy is lazy as gently caress, so I don't even trust him to clean up properly if we made him. He sulks about it if we ask him to help. He goes to his mom's house for dinner every night because he won't cook for himself, then drinks a lot and plays WoW. His room has been vacuumed twice in the 3 years I have lived here.

Please help me figure out what to do! I don't have a phone number/email address for him either, so I've done it in person before.

tl;dr: What do I say to Sir Pissalot - who has destroyed my toilet - without making things too awkward?

quote:

Repost bc all I got was mean comments

Okay so we're not super close but I find that she's really open and never judgmental so I tell her that I want to experiment with girls (not date them) because I don't want to lose my virginity until I'm married to a man. I've been bicurious for a while and somehow we decide to have sex so I guess now I'm bisexual.

So we hang out and have sex a lot and she's been getting really clingy. Sometimes I bring up a guy who doesn't have feelings for me back and she always gets very angry and seems kind of jealous. I started having study dates with one other guy and she says stuff like he just wants to gently caress you or you think he's just helping you for nothing in return?

I don't get why she won't talk about how she feels.

tldr: friend still maybe has feelings for me even though she knows i will never date a girl and she's not being 100% honest

Gaunab posted:

This is embarrassing to admit but I don't know how lesbian sex works.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

It's the same thing except remove the dick (but often not the penetration because toys are a thing), and of course, with generally much more emphasis on female oral stimulation than the typical heterosexual relationship.

Gaunab posted:

This is embarrassing to admit but I don't know how lesbian sex works.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

...much more emphasis on female oral stimulation than the typical heterosexual relationship.

Pick posted:

man versions:

im really good at oral

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Virginity isn't a physical quality anyways. If she's a sexually active person, she isn't a virgin. Period. It has nothing to do with whether or not a man penetrated her, regardless of her hilarious (and homophobic) opinions on the matter.

Better Fred Than Dead posted:

My favorite thing about these childfree whackos is their loving inability to write readable prose.

quote:

CHILDFREE
I have no problem at all and will be quite happy living my life as a marriageless, childless, virgin.

quote:

Awesome birthday gift from my best friend!

fruit on the bottom posted:

I ship Shepard/Ashley and leave her on Virmire, then Shepard/Tali and let her die in the suicide mission, and by God, if I could kill Liara in ME3 I would.

Gaunab posted:

Poor woman with a disrespectful boyfriend who won't stop pawing at her vagina or trying to initiate sex after repeatedly being told to stop. To the point where the woman screams at him and now he's upset.

quote:

Me [30 M] with my wife [28 F] of 2 years, moving forward with our marriage, or maybe towards divorce?

Using a throwaway account since I believe my s/o lurks on reddit. My wife Susan and I have been struggling with our marriage, even though we have been married for about a little less than two years now.

We've had some issues going into the marriage in terms of work scheduling, I worked in restaurant management which constituted weekends and late nights and she worked a fairly stable M-F day job. We didnt see much of each other at all during this time other than waking up and going to bed; with the rare one night a week where our free time did overlap. She was very patient and put up with this schedule for about a year and a half. I was the bread winner, but I dont know if that was a reason for putting up with the work arrangements.
Tension has been a rough between her and I as of late. We haven't been intimate since the marriage night. I've been stressed out from work and our schedules dont exactly allow us to spend date nights together. Our conversations have been more brief lately, and we struggle to talk to each other over daily events. I've felt that she's also become more negative over various situations. She keeps talking about her appearance in a negative manner and I am always quick to try and refute those thoughts. She likes to complain more about everyday things (traffic, work, friends) which is something I dont think she did as much of while we were dating and up until marriage. I try to comfort her physically but she seems to close me off by brushing me away, or saying negative remarks about herself (which I find as a turn off at that point). I'm usually a very positive person, but the constant negativity has really chipped away at my selfesteem.
Because of our scheduling differences I never tell her to stay home or don't go out with her/our friends on the account of me working. I've accepted that working weird hours are what essentially pay the bills and I'm happy to sacrifice now to get to a better position later where the situation is more favorable.

I recently found out that during an outing with some of her girlfriends out of town that she allowed another man to kiss her (I was not with her as I was working). I confronted her about the incident and she played it off as "she was drunk." The both of us like to be social at parties but I never would have imagined her being one to be so open about letting something like that happen. On a two other occasions I have managed to find her flirting with other men, in the forms of dancing with one and accepting drinks from a complete stranger (as in she's talking to him and he pours his beer into her cup and she did nothing to make it seem like that was a weird thing to do). I spoke with friends who were there on both occasions to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting the situation or was seeing things, both times seem to be pretty clear what was going on. We've talked about these situations and she's stating that she's acting like this to get attention, but to me I feel that this somewhat crosses a line. With these instances I know alcohol have been big factors but I don't think that's a good excuse to give yourself for actions like that.
I've been having some big trust issues since finding out about these instances and I can't seem to wonder what she's doing now when she's out with her friends since she's been so open about flirting with another man (event to the point when I'm in the same building with the last two examples).

I recently switched jobs within the same company to hopefully regain a better job schedule which did not end up being successful. I was essentially let go about a few months later. When I broke the news to her she seemed somewhat aloof and didn't seemed to interested in comforting me about the situation. I've been struggling finding ways to communicate with her since our conversations have been so short and sometimes feel like no value is placed within them (not to mention most times then not it feels like I'm bothering her by talking to her). We are planning on scheduling sessions with a marriage counselor, but am wondering if anyone has any advice on moving forward with this marriage.
I love this women so much, but I feel that she is ready to move on, maybe without even trying to fix it. I'm willing to put in efforts to try and resolve things but in the back of my head I feel that she's checked out, and I don't know how much of help a counselor may be. I'm preparing myself emotionally for the prospect of a divorce but want to expend all options before I am willing to get to that point.

TLDR: Wife and I are having issues communicating which led to a few outbursts of small infidelity. Counseling is being scheduled but afraid that she has checked out of the marriage altogether.

Jenner posted:

I think you can kill Liara in ME 3 but only if you take her down the Reaper laser gauntlet (the conduit rush) on earth without the ending fix DLC installed. Because AFAIK the lasers instantaneously vaporize the two allies you take with you, no exceptions. (With the DLC installed your companions get picked up by the Normandy and you get to say a tearful goodbye.)


Aaaah Jesus loving christ! This woman is way too tolerant/forgiving! If anyone I was dating kept groping me after I told them to stop I would
1. Excuse myself and then flee the premises to insure my safety.
2. Call the cops and report the sexual assault.
3. Break up.
Like wow holy poo poo.

quote:

I’m [19F] still in love with my boyfriend [20] but I recently found a guy [21] who is in almost every way better than my current boyfriend.

Throwaway because my boyfriend is a redditor. Sorry for the long post!

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for over a year now. My feelings for him haven’t changed a bit, but I recently met a guy who is absolutely amazing. He’s incredibly intelligent (my currently boyfriend is average, at best), is extremely handsome, and has similar life prospects as me.

I recently changed schools, and almost the first day I was there, I met a group of people playing Yu-Gi-Oh, which I used to play but now I play Pokemon cards, so impulsive me sat with them. I immediately noticed this guy, let’s call him S, because he was wearing a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic shirt (and I’m a fan of the show). He came off as an extremely calm individual and I liked talking to him because he carefully thought through everything he said.

He’s planning on going for environmental science at a university close to where I am (the school we’re going to is only a community college so we can only get associate’s degrees). I was originally going for math/science, and only recently switched to video game design. We both love My Little Pony, anime, Pokemon, and we have extremely intelligent conversations. He knows how much I’d love to be with him if I were single, and he’s fine with whatever happens.

My current boyfriend, D, is currently working a part-time job where he makes $10 an hour but has virtually nothing saved up. We got together at the end of last summer, and we very much love each other, but most everything we have in common are only things that we came to like together (Adventure Time, the band Hollywood Undead, etc). Everything else we have in common is in a way that one of us really likes it and the other only sort of likes it. We trust each other entirely and we work well together, and I can see us staying together. Also, his parents love me and my parents love him.

Lately though, since I’ve met S, he’s been making me more and more annoyed by his ignorance. He was raised Christian (unlike me; my parents didn’t really raise me to go to church but I guess we were technically Christian) and he wasn’t pushed to do well in school. He doesn’t really know what he wants to do in his life besides construction, and it’s been proving difficult for him to get another job (the job he has now is his first and only job). Though I love him, I’m getting really tired of explaining certain things to him, and he never keeps up with things in the news. Also, he has a reading disability that no one helped him fix in school and he’s not doing anything about it now that he’s older.

S has none of these issues from what I realized. In fact, it seems like he’s smarter and much more apt to know currently events than even me.

I don’t know if this is something that’s just going to pass, or if I will just fall more and more for S until I’m in love with him. D has no idea anything is happening, because I’m not cheating on him, and I still love him.

From your guys’ experience, is this odd? Does it seem like I have a better chance with S? I feel like an immature high-school student right now, but I’ve never had anything happen like this while I was in high school. I feel like I might be lusting after S based on his intelligence and interests. I also could never break up with someone because I found someone better. I used to cheat a lot, but I haven’t yet in this relationship and I refuse to. Please tell me what you guys think!

TL;DR: I met a guy who is much better than my current boyfriend but my feelings for my boyfriend are still the same. I don't know if I should break up with him, because I still love him, but the new guy is much more of my type.

Tears In A Vial posted:

La Brea Carpet posted:

Bolding mine. Hope this dude knows a good divorce lawyer.......

quote:

I was originally going for math/science, and only recently switched to video game design.

ThePeavstenator posted:

nerds do not deserve dignity or love imo

quote:

but I’ve never had anything happen like this while I was in high school.

quote:

I was originally going for math/science, and only recently switched to video game design.

Tears In A Vial posted:

This but unironically

Ride The Gravitron posted:

have I got a thread for you
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3444416

Tears In A Vial posted:

Gaunab posted:

Here's another story.
My [27F] housemate [33M] will not stop peeing all over the place

Hugoon Chavez posted:

This was 100% written by S, using only one hand.

quote:

Should I [18, F] be more understanding to my fiance[16, M] nine months, I'm not allowed to have time to myself
I've been with this guy for around nine months, I've known him since I was a sophomore and he was a freshman (where we hit it off but didn't immediately start dating). We got engaged in June, which seemed sudden but right for both of us (and I suspected I was possibly pregnant, I was not). I genuinely love him, but he's been very pushy lately.
I'm constantly exhausted/sick. We're together through most of the week. There is very little time that we are not together, and I own my childhood home, which we've been fixing up, although right now there's really only two bedrooms and a pretty rough kitchen.
When we get home after school, I usually fall asleep (this isn't on purpose, I promise I don't sleep just to hurt him). He gets irritated, will shake me, and has even started crying. Needless to say, I wake up and feel like garbage. When he isn't with me, I work on school papers on my laptop and give him warning, but then come back to a million messages and "Why do you ignore me?". No matter what it feels like he always makes it about himself.
I feel very overwhelmed. I know we're both young but it hurts and I feel like I never get a break. I love him and I don't want to break up over this, but I have definitely considered it.
tl;dr: Fiance gives me zero space, and all I want to do is have some alone time

Mocking Bird posted:

Maybe I should convert to Christianity

54 40 or gently caress posted: