54 40 or gently caress posted:

quote:

My (24F) boyfriend (24M) put my little brother (18M) in a headlock and caused him to have a seizure. What's my next move?
Hey guys, need some advice on this.
My boyfriend of 2 years (Drake) and my brother Luke have never really gotten along. I was always under the impression that it was a male ego thing; they were always challenging each other and ruthlessly teasing one another, which never really bugged me. Until now. Last night, Drake and Luke hanging out with me at my apartment and things got out of hand. My little brother was being a bit of a jerk and talking about Drake and how much he sucks (teasing him about his choice in music) when all of a sudden, Drake jumped on my brother and put him in a violent headlock. My brother made the signal to "tap out", and began choking and turning purple. I was screaming at Drake to let him go and he eventually did. Luke fell to the ground and had a seizure. I called 911, and my boyfriend told me to stop overreacting. Luke passed out after his seizure, and eventually the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. My boyfriend keeps saying he deserved it. What do I do in this situation? I know Luke never wants to see Drake again, and frankly, I'm worried about how Drake handled this. Thoughts?
tldr: my boyfriend put my little brother in a headlock until he had a seizure and had to go the hospital. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong and that my brother deserved it. What do I do now? Do I dump him?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

JESUS


Oh my boyfriend just nearly killed my brother, how does one handle such a situation??

HardDiskD posted:

psh you brother is just having a seizure stop being so dramatic

quote:

Need advice on a unique situation involving myself (26M) and my coworker (18F)
So I've been working with this girl (18F) for about 6 months, we have an undeniable and very strong chemistry between us and it was recently revealed to me through a mutual friend that she has had a huge crush on me since she started. I have told her that I feel the same way and we've been texting and talking non stop.
Now for the weird part. We are both in long term relationships (2+ years) and have both voiced dissatisfaction with our relationships. She is scared of hurting her boyfriend by breaking up with him and her family turning their backs on her for dating an older guy.
Basically I'm asking for advice on something I may be able to say to her or something I can do to ease her mind let her realize on her own that taking a chance on something unknown can be scary, but the only way to figure out what you want is to do exactly that, take chances.
TL;DR my coworker and I want to start a relationship but she is worried about the backlash from her boyfriend and family about leaving her unhappy relationship.
Thank you!
P.s. sorry for editing and spelling I'm on mobile.
Edit: I apologize everyone I had to submit this twice and I did leave out that my girlfriend and I aren't together as of 2 weeks ago. Put down the torches and pitchforks lol.

quote:

TL;DR: I caught my wife cheating on me over a year ago. I stayed with her for the sake of our children, but I haven't been able to get it off of my mind since.

It has been 476 days since I confronted her about it, how do I know? Because every time I catch myself thinking about it I tell myself, "It's only been X days, maybe you won't think about it tomorrow".

So to go back to the beginning I had just taken on a new project and new responsibilities at work. I was working a lot of hours (60+ per week) and was noticeably stressed. It was in May of 2015 that I noticed that she had added a password to her phone. When confronted about it she told me it was because she was planning my Father's Day present and didn't want me to ruin the surprise. About a week later she came to me and told me that she felt guilty keeping a big secret from me and told me that she was having our neighbor, a contractor, build a home office for me as my present. It struck me as odd as in our 6 years together she has never said she felt guilty about anything and always insists that she never regrets anything in her life.

Time goes on, her phone is still password protected, and things don't feel right. I see her using her phone and smiling to herself more and more often. But when I ask her what she is doing she says nothing and puts her phone away. So one morning I wait for her to get in the shower and I grab her phone before it requires the password. I go through her messages and find that she is texting the neighbor, "I am all covered in frosting, you wanna lick it off?". There were no other messages to the neighbor but I found out later that was because she had setup her phone to delete messages after a certain amount of time. I felt uncomfortable with it but I knew she had a perverted sense of humor and I thought she would never do anything to hurt me.

More time goes by and the neighbor is spending more and more time at our house but the office is being completed slower and slower. I can't help but worry that something isn't right so I start checking her location using Google Timeline. It was at this point that I realize that there are large gaps in her GPS history because she was turning off her phone's GPS. Fast forward to July and at this point the paranoia is driving me nuts so I tell her that I need to install new anti-virus on her phone. While she has it unlocked for me I install Anti-theft software so I can remotely turn the GPS back on and set up At&t Message Backup and Restore so I can read all of her text messages from that point on my computer.

The next day my mother asks to spend time with my two kids so my wife drops them off with her and has the day to herself. I watch my wife's activity from work as she spends the day trying to meet up with the neighbor but is unsuccessful because he is busy with another job site. That night we get the kids back from my mom's house and we go out to dinner with the neighbor, his girlfriend, and his son. My wife and his girlfriend are having a good time drinking, laughing, and just joking around. His girlfriend mentions that should would like to see Magic Mike XXL, I say it's a good idea I'll watch the kids so my wife and her can go. So my wife and her go and the neighbor and I go back to my house so the kids can play video games together.

The kids are back in my son's room playing games and the neighbor is sitting across from me on the other couch. It is at this point that my wife starts texting him. She is describing sex acts she would like to perform with him and he is reciprocating. She tells him to check his snapchat and at the same time I get a snapchat from her too and it is her fingering herself in a bathroom stall. They keep talking, trying to figure out when they can meet up and have sex. They decide on Monday morning after I go to work. So in my head I had already planned to pretend to leave and circle back to catch them. But then they tell each other that they love each other and it is all I can do to not leap off the couch and knock him out. But I contain myself and continue reading the conversation unfolding in front of me. Then he tells her, "You're my girl now", to which she replies, "Always have been", ending with him writing, "And always will be".

My wife and the neighbor's girlfriend return from the movie and I ask them, politely, to sit down. I then ask the kids to stay in my son's room and shut the door. I return to the living room and confront my wife and the neighbor. I say, "So you two love each other huh?". My wife goes in to full blown denial mode and the neighbor's girlfriend starts smacking him. I ask my wife if she has been texting him, she says no. So I show her the text messages, she admits to it but says it was the first time it had gone that far. I ask my wife if she has sent him pictures, she says no. So I show her the picture, she admits it but says it was the first time. I ask her if she is having sex with him and she says no. Because I didn't wait to catch them having sex together I didn't have evidence to prove her wrong so that one stayed unresolved.

I tell her that I am leaving her, she tells me that she will make sure I never see my kids again if I do. She planned on using the fact that I had attempted suicide in high school to prove me unfit to have the children. She continues to say that it was my fault for being so busy with work and stressed out, that she just wanted someone she could talk to. Then she gives me an ultimatum to decide what I'm going to do or she will decide for me. The neighbor's girlfriend starts defending the two of them saying that it couldn't have been serious if they weren't having sex and that my wife and I are too perfect together to let this break us up. The neighbors go home and my wife and I argue for the rest of the night about what we are going to do. We go to bed separately having not resolved anything. We keep going back and forth on the subject all weekend and finally settle on we were going to separate temporarily while we figure out what we want. I was going to stay in the house and she was going to take the kids and go to her mom's house.

That Monday I go to work and I get text from her in the middle of a meeting with my bosses stating that she had explained things to our kids, but that they were upset and I need to explain it to them also. I get home from work to find my kids crying. She had told them that mommy had to move out because dad was mad at her. When my son wanted to stay with me she told him that he can't. My son put it together that if mommy has to move out because I'm mad at her and he must move out then I must have been mad at him too. My daughter was crying because my son was, I don't think she was old enough to understand what was happening.

It was at that moment I realized she was going to drag the kids through hell if I left her so I swallowed my feelings and begged her to stay. She agreed and insisted that I apologize to our neighbor since we were still going to need to hang out with them because our sons are good friends. I hate it but I do it anyway, we still hang out with them from time to time and they come to our various birthday and holiday parties. But I'd do anything for my kids and I behave civil every time.
Things die down for awhile, I still think about it constantly. I worry how can I keep from making her so unhappy that she cheats on me again. Then almost a year from the original incident, around Father's Day again, she send him pictures again. She claims it was an accident that she meant to send them to me instead. I don't fully believe her but I move on anyway.

Things have been quiet on that front for about 4 months now but I still think about it constantly. This is going to sound stupid but I feel like I have a part of my brain that I can't shut off, that is always thinking. I used to use that to solve programming problems and it made me very good at my job. But ever since this incident, the only thing it thinks about is her and him and if I did the right thing. My job performance has suffered and I feel like I haven't gotten sleep in months. I'm afraid that after this much time, and the fact that I begged her back, that to say that I want a divorce now would only make her more vindictive towards my children and I. I just feel like I have put myself so deep in a hole that I can never get back out. I haven't really talked to anyone about this. I didn't want to talk to my mom about it because I felt she would treat my wife differently and I didn't need the two fighting anymore than they already do. I tried talking to one friend about it but his advice was to put my trust in God but that was not much solace for me as I am an atheist. So I have no clue what to do with my feelings or how to move on from this.

quote:

Instead of trying to fix something she doesn't want to fix, she has refused counseling several times in the past before this even happened, I am going to get myself and my kids out. I meet with an attorney next week.
Thank you everyone for helping me see how far I had my head up my rear end.

quote:

I would like to give a heartfelt and sincere thank you for the advice and support I have received here. No one could have foreseen the tragedy that resulted from me filing for divorce. You guys perform a wonderful service to those in need and I hope you continue to do so in the future.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/crime/police-investigating-double-homicide-in-mongomery-county

Ratjaculation posted:

Divorce? Welp, better slaughter the kids

Ratjaculation posted:

Divorce? Welp, better slaughter the kids

Ratjaculation posted:

Divorce? Welp, better slaughter the kids

quote:

Sorry a little frantic right now. My children were murdered by their mother after I filed for divorce. My mother in law created a GoFundMe page stating that she is raising money for the family with my/the kid's last name and pictures of them stating that the funds are going to support the family. But she told me that she intends to use the funds for my ex's medical and legal expense instead.

quote:

Girlfriend ignored me at her surprise bday party and it is really bugging me.

A surprise birthday thrown by her coworkers I should add. They secretly invited me. On the 2 hour drive over there I was excited to see her reaction.

I guess the anticipation was building up too much because when I walked in to the bar her reaction wasn't what I expected. I would say it was lukewarm at best. She hugged me and smiled. But not much reaction after that.
Throughout the night she didn't interact with me much. A hello here and there. I was mostly sitting by myself or with a few of her coworkers trying to make conversation. When we'd go outside to smoke, she still didn't really even stand by me. Instead choosing to stand and smoke by her (male) colleagues. Hugging them and chatting. She even walked back into the bar without me.

I'm trying to be understanding here. I know it was her birthday so she had to go around and mingle. But something about it just rubbed me the wrong way. She was way different towards me last night than while we're together. Should also add that she's also a extrovert and I'm the introverted one in the relationship.

Has anyone else faced a similar situation in your relationship? How did you approach this? I hope this isn't a pattern.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Khorne posted:

You know when someone says "she's mature for her age". Maybe this is the 18 year old who is a bit mature for her age. But she's with someone younger.

Khorne posted:

You know when someone says "she's mature for her age". Maybe this is the 18 year old who is a bit mature for her age. But she's with someone younger.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I bet the neighbor who was dicking the wife feels like utter poo poo.

quote:

My [23M] friend [22F] I have just found out is an escort. Do I tell her boyfriend/her ex-boyfriend who she framed as stalking her?
In the past year I have started to reconnect with an old friend, nothing romantic, strictly friendship.
I have spoke to her about her problems with her ex boyfriend, amongst other things. She told me her ex was stalking her, as he had put cameras up round the house and stuff, and even a microphone in an accessory she carries around because he was convinced she was cheating.
Now, I don't know the ex-boyfriend, I know things about him from her and other people, but I personally didn't like him because of this as it sounded very stalkerish.
However, I'll fully admit that I was perving, but there is a well known site in the UK that escorts offer their services through. This afternoon I decided to have a look through it and one of the first profiles I find obviously belonged to my friend. Same hair colour that has just changed, same clothing, no face photos but I'm 99% convinced it's her. She told me she is going to London soon and this matches with the dates on the profile. It also clicked how she seemed to have a lot of money when I thought she was a jobless single Mum.
Now I feel bad for the ex-boyfriend. She was reluctant to call the police over the "stalking" because she told me she didn't have faith in the police, but I think it's 100% because of this. It makes sense now to me, she used to say he was paranoid, and if he was putting cameras around her house I highly suspect he was doing it because he had suspicions of cheating from her and highly doubt he had a clue what was happening.
Now also, she has a new recent boyfriend who seems OK, but if the ex most likely didn't know, will he? And do I tell her ex boyfriend as she told me stronger allegations about him, which I'm also not sure whether to believe anymore because of this.
tl;dr: A friend I found out is an escort. Her ex-boyfriend put cameras and microphones around her house and people think he is a stalker, but I think he didn't know and that's why she hasn't reported him to the police. She has a new boyfriend who I doubt knows either since it seems highly likely her ex didn't, what do I do?

quote:

"War is sad, they are just children..."
Everytime I see news sharing a tragic picture about war, there seems to be more empathy towards children and babies. I will never understand why. "What did the kids have to do with any of this?" "No kid deserves this."
Oh but adults deserve to die? Why is it that they feel empathy for kids but not for the poor women and men who are innocent and don't want to fight? How come a child's death is seen worse? I feel sorry for all people who lose their life or a life of a loved one. Just because someone's older doesn't mean he deserves any of it. Every life is precious! Look at those hyprocrites not giving an f when hundreds of thousand adults die, but show them a picture of a poor boy/girl, baby, puppy, whatever, fighting for its life and all of sudden they become so upset and so so sad.
If innocent adult victims could speak they'd say "sorry that I'm not cute, my life still mattered."

timefly posted:

Her future self is going to murder her.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

JESUS


Oh my boyfriend just nearly killed my brother, how does one handle such a situation??

Khazar-khum posted:

Daily seizure sufferer here. Idiopathic epilepsy with partial-complex seizures.

They look horrifying as hell, but they are painless. Afterwards your muscles may hurt, and you may have a brutal headache; but the seizure itself doesn't hurt.

What has happened to Luke is an ugly situation that will follow him forever. He will now be prone to seizures under stress. Once your brain has learned how to seizure, it will remember that and use it as an 'escape hatch'--forever. And once that pattern is set, you can't unset it. Ever.

Basically, Drake has destroyed Luke's life. He may never have another seizure. He may go through life more or less fine. But if the right stressor comes along, he will go into a seizure.

If I ruled the world, Drake and/or his family would be responsible for Luke's life. He might get a job (might--employers are leery of hiring epileptics) or he might be stuck on SSI/Disability. I'd make sure they paid for everything above and beyond the bare essentials, which disability itself just about covers. Because, while Drake didn't kill Luke outright, he has irrevocably altered his life.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

And the girlfriend who defended them. Block parties gonna be weird from now on I reckon.

This guy is weird as hell


Everyone is telling him to mind his own business and he has now a couple times claimed those people must be sex workers with something to hide

Khazar-khum posted:

Daily seizure sufferer here. Idiopathic epilepsy with partial-complex seizures.

They look horrifying as hell, but they are painless. Afterwards your muscles may hurt, and you may have a brutal headache; but the seizure itself doesn't hurt.

What has happened to Luke is an ugly situation that will follow him forever. He will now be prone to seizures under stress. Once your brain has learned how to seizure, it will remember that and use it as an 'escape hatch'--forever. And once that pattern is set, you can't unset it. Ever.

Basically, Drake has destroyed Luke's life. He may never have another seizure. He may go through life more or less fine. But if the right stressor comes along, he will go into a seizure.

If I ruled the world, Drake and/or his family would be responsible for Luke's life. He might get a job (might--employers are leery of hiring epileptics) or he might be stuck on SSI/Disability. I'd make sure they paid for everything above and beyond the bare essentials, which disability itself just about covers. Because, while Drake didn't kill Luke outright, he has irrevocably altered his life.

Gadzuko posted:

Isn't epilepsy a genetic condition? My father was epileptic and I have always been under the impression that trauma related seizures were a different thing entirely. Unless he already had some underlying condition there shouldn't be lifelong consequences. Not that this excuses what the boyfriend did, of course.

Ratjaculation posted:

Epilepsy comes in all different shapes and sizes. My understanding is some people are born with it but anyone can develop epilepsy from anything to a small bump to the head to a heart attack.

quote:

My [22F] boyfriend [23M] asked me to choose between him and my twin brother [22M], I chose my brother. Now he says he's sorry and wants another chance.

I've been with him for about 6 months now, we've had a good time together. However he recently started just trash talking about my brother to me for no reason. I asked him to stop this and he did for a while, only to start doing it again a few weeks later. Today I was at the end of my patience so I told him to either tell me exactly what his problem is with my brother or we're done.

He told me my brother is arragant, rude and a psychopath. I think these are ridiculous things to say about him. My boyfriend thinks I'm blinded because of our bond and I need to come to reality. In the end he asked me to either cut off my brother or broke up with him, and I told him that I'm break up with him and told him to get the gently caress out of my house.

So he went to my friend and he's saying that he's sorry to put me in that situation and wants me to give him another chance. He said he was just teasing me and didn't mean any of it. He also said he wanted to see how loyal I am to my family.
How do I deal with this?

tl;dr: Boyfriend asked me to either pick him or my twin. I picked my twin brother. He's now saying it wasn't serious and wants another chance.

quote:

My [32M] fiancee [28F] is mad that I only made ham for Thanksgiving

I'll try to make this concise: My fiancee (together 3 years) is upset with me for only making ham for thanksgiving.
She's having a hard time with her family...basically her dad is a real dick and never gives her time of day but wants to show up during family events to "prove" to other family members what a great father he is. She's really sick of it and in fact coordinated a family holiday with her aunt and other extended family members this year. She was assured her father was not invited and would not be there (this aunt is her father's sister) but right before the event, it was revealed that he was to be the "surprise guest" (her aunt was not aware) so she decided not to go. As a courtesy to her, I decided not to go to my family get together either. Although, I also just wanted to spend time with her and relax on our time off from work. Part of her family from her father's side came to our town and had dinner with us last weekend so she got to see and interact with them and it was also a sort of apology from the family member that had invited her father to the event.
Anyway, today is Thanksgiving and yesterday my fiancee gave me a list of things to shop for and a ton of recipes I asked her to look up so we could have lots of delicious meals this week/end. This morning I asked her to look up specific recipes using this ham so I could cook it how her grandfather used to as that's her favorite. I did so and when I was finished, I called her down to try it and she was upset that I had only made a ham. She asked why there wasn't any sides (mashed potatoes mostly) and I told her I didn't know she wanted anything else. She burst into tears and started a pot of boiling water saying she thought I would've made more.
I've been busy watching football (it's Thanksgiving, you know!) and I know that's she's upset because she wanted a traditional Thanksgiving since her family is falling apart, but am I wrong? I feel really bad. She just seems really sad that it isn't the lunch/dinner she's used to. She didn't yell at me or anything either, she just looks....broken. I don't know what to do. Help!

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Aw. it's probably not actually the ham upsetting her. Sounds like she's in a rough place emotionally.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Aw. it's probably not actually the ham upsetting her. Sounds like she's in a rough place emotionally.