- lazorexplosion
- Mar 19, 2016
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My [24M] girlfriend [24F] of almost a year spends 2 hours putting on makeup every day
Posting this anonymously because my girlfriend posts on reddit and knows my account. I would also like to add a disclaimer that I am not trying to control her appearance and I understand that women wear makeup for reasons other than wanting to be attractive to men. My issue with the makeup is that it's affecting other areas of my girlfriend's life and our relationship.
My [24M] girlfriend [24F] and I have been together for almost a year. The one year anniversary of the day we met and had our first date is actually this Friday. She is a good person. It's not just about looks because I am attracted to her personality as well. I really am. But her excessive makeup is affecting her life in other areas and our relationship.
When we first started dating I didn't realize how long it took to put on so much makeup. I knew she wore it but I was clueless as too how much/how long it took. My girlfriend will spend at least 2 hours every morning applying makeup. It doesn’t matter what her plans are for the day, she will spend at least 2 hours doing it, whether she is just going to be at home alone watching TV or running out to the store quickly or going to work. Last year on New Year’s Eve I found out that she spent 3.5 hours doing it before she went out. I asked her once and she says she uses at minimum 25 different makeup products every day. She sleeps in full makeup and never washes it all off. The first couple of times we spent the night together I thought the only reason she slept with it on was because we had been out all night dancing or at a pub and we were tired and just kind of came back to one of our places and fell right asleep. But she does it every single night. She does it even when she is sleeping alone and I am not there. She wears her full makeup into the shower and is careful to get as little of it off as possible. She doesn’t wash off her old makeup from before when she put makeup on for a new day, she puts more on over it. She says it’s been at least 5 years since she has seen herself without any makeup at all on.
As I said it’s not about her appearance (I would not mind seeing her without makeup but I don’t want to control her or tell her just for appearance reasons) but it’s about how it is affecting our relationship and her personal life as well. Some examples: Recently I had to travel for work. When I got back my brother was supposed to pick me up from the airport. He had car trouble and couldn’t make it. Before I paid for a cab I called my girlfriend and asked if she wouldn’t mind picking me or if she wanted to get some more sleep because it was after 1:00 A.M. I would have been fine if she wanted to sleep but she said she would come and get me. It took her over 3 hours to come and get me because she spent 2 hours putting makeup on before she left. 2 hours of makeup to drive to the airport in the dark, pick me up, take me home and then go back home to bed. And when she got up later that morning for the day she spent another 2 hours doing it again even though she wasn’t working that day and she stayed home alone the whole day.
Back in October her sister went into labor prematurely. Thankfully both her sister and the baby are fine but at the time it was really bad and they came close to death. I was not sleeping at her place the night that it happened but her dad had called her at home that night and told her to get to the hospital because her sister was in distress and she and the baby might die. My girlfriend spent almost 2 hours putting on makeup before she rushed to the hospital. She was told her sister and her baby might die any minute and she still took the time to put on makeup before she went. She says she cut corners and took almost 2 hours instead of the full 2 t least she was in a hurry but she couldn’t leave without makeup on.
Since she takes 2 hours to put on makeup she has to get up much earlier in the morning. If not for the makeup she wouldn’t have to wake up until 7 A.M. on work days. She wakes up at 4:30-5:00 A.M. instead. She often complains about being tired and not getting enough sleep but instead of sleeping for 7-8 hours she will only sleep for 5.5-6 hours. She lies to her doctor about having insomnia and sometimes takes medication to help her sleep. On days when she doesn’t have to work she can easily sleep 8 hours or more. But she refuses to cut back on her makeup to get more sleep.
Before we were together she needed surgery for something mouth related. Her doctor wanted to do it in the hospital but she refused because she would have had to show up completely makeup free for the surgery so instead she opted for a dental specialist in his office because there was no makeup free rule for that. Because it wasn’t done in the hospital the dental specialist had to do it a different way and instead of a quick recovery it took her almost 2 weeks. We both had the flu recently and she still put makeup on even though she was sick in bed and throwing up.
Because she sleeps in full makeup her bedding is awful and I bought some pillowcases and blankets for her when she sleeps at my place so she doesn’t ruin mine. I also have my own when I sleep at her place because I will get makeup all over me if I use hers. I had to buy furniture covers because she got makeup all over my furniture. At the beginning of our relationship she ruined a couple of my shirts because when we cuddled or she put her head on my shoulder her makeup would be left behind. Now unless we are going to get sexual I don’t even kiss her, we just blow kisses and hold hands because if we kiss I get makeup left on me. She doesn’t wear collared shirts, turtlenecks or scarves because her makeup ruins them. After we are intimate I always have makeup all over me.
All of this is starting to weigh on my mind and give me doubts about the relationship. My girlfriend says she can stop wearing makeup at any time but that she just doesn’t want too. I challenged her to wash off all the makeup and not wear any for a day, even if she was home alone but she couldn’t even do it. My issue is not her wearing makeup or what she looks like, it is how it interferes with her and our lives. I was floored when I found out she took almost 2 hours to put on makeup on before going to see her sister who may have been dying. I do love her but I can’t imagine living like this forever.
My girlfriend sometimes tells me that people dismiss her and do not take her seriously and I think her wearing her full makeup and not toning it down when appropriate (serious work meetings, funerals etc.) could be why. She wears full makeup to the gym and then won’t work out because she doesn’t want to ruin it. When I bring it up she says that she chooses to wear makeup but could stop at any time and that it’s no one’s business what she wears or puts on her face. I don’t know what else I can do. Is there any hope or anything that I can say to get her to listen to my point of view? She says I don’t understand and can’t fault her for wanting to present her best self in any situation. Any advice for me would be really appreciated.
tl;dr: My girlfriend of almost a year spends at least 2 hours each morning putting on makeup (at least 25 different products). She does this even when she is going to be home alone all day without going out. She sleeps and showers in full makeup and doesn’t wash off all the old makeup every morning before she put the new makeup on. She has ruined bedding, clothes and furniture because her makeup gets on it. She complains about not sleeping enough but won’t stop getting up 2 hours early to do her makeup. She took 2 hours to put on makeup before going to see her possibly dying pregnant sister (who had gone into premature labor and was in distress) instead of rushing right there. This isn’t about her looks or trying to control her, but about how it is interfering with her life/our relationship. She says she can not wear makeup at any time but just doesn’t want to.
Plot twist: it's clown makeup
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Nov 28, 2016 01:42
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 06:26
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- Moon Atari
- Dec 26, 2010
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While that anecdote is more objectively awful, I was most bothered by the makeup-caked bedding and the fact that she never takes anything off, just puts on a new topcoat
Not taking it off ever means that she is obsessed with makeup but also very bad at it. If she can't stand to see herself without it she should just wear one of those beauty mask things at night. Like this one.
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Nov 28, 2016 02:14
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- Jeza
- Feb 13, 2011
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The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
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Imagine being together with somebody for a year but never having seen their actual face. Maybe she doesn't even have any face left, and the endless layers of makeup have just formed a crusty skin simulacrum plastered onto her skull.
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Nov 28, 2016 02:37
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- Zelder
- Jan 4, 2012
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Imagine being together with somebody for a year but never having seen their actual face.
welcome top the world *lightning strikes*...of mmo dating
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Nov 28, 2016 02:43
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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quote:
Me [21 F] with my tinder match [21 M] who says he's not using me for sex
You might maybe find this story funny and me stupid but please I need your opinion on this. I got out of a LTR not too long ago and I'm lost. 1.5 month ago I met this guy on Tinder, we started talking and we got along really well. He seemed nice enough. We would text about movies, food, vision of life, what he/Iike dislike in a relationship etc. He would text me quite often, ask me how my day was etc.
We decided to meet up for a drink and everything went well. I even started having early feelings for him. A few days later he suggests I come to his (parents’) place to watch movies and he says I can sleep in the guest room if I want to. I don’t mind having sex early, if I feel comfortable with a person and as long as I don’t do that too often/with too many “strangers”. I also like movie nights I believe it’s a nice way to get to know someone (if done right) and spend some good time. So I went for it. The problem is that we ended up spending the whole night banging only. And the next morning too. He just took a few breaks to smoke and play a few games online with his friends. We didn’t even have breakfast or lunch.
I was honestly disappointed because it wasn’t what I had expected. I love sex, I don’t mind doing it often but I was sort of surprised because I thought that we’d do something else too. I felt like I had wasted my time, and my money (to get there). He kept texting me and I took the opportunity to tell him that I think there’s been a misunderstanding, so I asked him the “what are you looking for?” question and he said that there is no misunderstanding, that he’s obviously looking for a serious relationship. He just happens to love sex a lot and that it’s something we seemed to have in common.
Then we got another “date”, in my town this time. I thought about showing him the city or something but he showed no interested in that. We headed up straight to my apartment and a few hours there before he left.
After that, I stopped seeing him as a possible relationship. Especially because all he would send me was “I’m missing you, when do we see each other again?”, sometimes straight after something sexual like “I shaved down there for you”... But starting from then our relationship didn’t make any progress at all. I didn’t mind keeping him as a gently caress buddy though because he’s cute and I don’t have much time anymore looking for a replacement or to invest in a serious relationship. I don’t even always have the time or the energy for meeting up with somebody for sex. So I kept postponing that.
He got “angry” when I told him that I wasn’t really up for sex this week. He told me he was sad to hear that I thought he was only looking for sex. He said that it was not the case at all and that it just takes him time to get invested. He said that he now understands why I was being a bit cold with him sometimes(even though I actually wasn’t). But so be it, starting from now on he too will see me as a gently caress buddy until it gets better. Until then he’ll stay faithful to me and he won’t let me down. LOL… Basically nothing changes for me!
Seriously. I don’t get it. It’s not the first time a guy acts weird with me and then, out of nowhere, pulls out a “you broke my heart” that looks kind of sincere. I’m confused. Could he possibly be sincere? Is it common for guys to act like this? Did I really do something wrong this time? What do you think? Any way to find out?
tl;dr: He's got almost all the signs from these "he's using you for sex" articles you can find online yet he insists he's not like that. Could he possibly be sincere?
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Nov 28, 2016 03:17
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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The most apt description she can find for their relationship status is "Tinder Match" so. Duh.
I honestly don't really know why she typed all these words, it sounds like she knows drat well what's going on
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Nov 28, 2016 04:03
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- cyberia
- Jun 24, 2011
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Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
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That makeup girl must be wearing some real garbage-tier makeup if it's smearing all over everything. There are quality brands these days have paint-like lines (at least for lipstick / eyeliner / eye shadow, not sure about foundation) that won't come off even if you go swimming in them. And you think if she was that obsessed about having flawless makeup she'd spring for some pro-level foundation like Kryolan or similar that they use for actors and people on TV.
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Nov 28, 2016 05:38
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- Nuebot
- Feb 18, 2013
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The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money
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That makeup girl must be wearing some real garbage-tier makeup if it's smearing all over everything. There are quality brands these days have paint-like lines (at least for lipstick / eyeliner / eye shadow, not sure about foundation) that won't come off even if you go swimming in them. And you think if she was that obsessed about having flawless makeup she'd spring for some pro-level foundation like Kryolan or similar that they use for actors and people on TV.
That could cost a lot of money if she's constantly slathering it on though. I can only imagine how much she uses every year if she takes two hours to put it all on every day, and presumably reapplies it any time it gets smeared.
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Nov 28, 2016 06:07
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- DOMDOM
- Apr 28, 2007
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Fun Shoe
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I (36f) want things to work with my fiance (38m) but his freakouts stress me out. He says I'm making it into a big deal.
quote:
I've been with Jeff for 3 years, live together for 6 months.
I keep trying to resolve to NOT FIGHT with him (it stresses us both out and ends up putting a damper on many days). But we seem caught in a negative communication spiral that I don't know how to break out of.
Typical interaction:
Jeff: Gets angry about something that seems minor, escalating and won't let it go.
Me: I try to tell him it can be looked after or otherwise try to placate him (the majority of these issues aren't even my fault...they are often simply everyday life events that he gets upset over).
Jeff: Escalates more, usually with raised voice, usually directly or indirectly blaming me ("why do we not organize the cupboards properly?!")
Me: Become defensive and angry because I do NOT feel these issues are my fault, and I'm angry because I offered to look after it but he insisted on escalating and ruining the mood usually over something very minor.
We go on to either shout at each other with me ending up in tears or leaving for a drive etc.
This can't be healthy and it's not normal. I'm laid back and he's so uptight about things. I TRY to head off any issue but believe me.....it is impossible to foresee every single thing that is going to upset him.
Just yesterday, we had a wonderful day together and were relaxing and having fun. Then the table lamp went out so he went to grab a new bulb and discovered there wasn't any. He then starts going through every drawer/cupboard/closet looking for one, getting increasingly upset. I moved in 6 months ago and we've never needed to change a bulb so I wasn't aware there were no spares lying around.
Not having a table lamp is NOT a big deal. Who cares really? We have the main light. Plus I told him I'd go the next day and get bulbs or we could borrow a bulb from another lamp, but he just keeps ranting. We aren't organized. This is indicative of bigger issues. If we can't even keep supplies on hand, how do we expect to be successful overall? Why are the batteries kept in the cutlery drawer? etc.etc.etc. This is a very common occurrence:
*why does the cleaning lady not clean the oven? (I can ask her to) She should just do it automatically! (no, she never has) Stop making excuses for her! (SERIOUSLY, if you don't like her then hire a new one perhaps??) Why should I have to hire a new one? I work 60 hours a week and you work 35. Hire someone competent!
I know he sounds like a jerk, and he kind of is, but I want this to work and when he isn't freaking out he's great. Is there something I'm missing? A better way for me to communicate with him to calm him down rather than having stupid things escalate so much?
tldr: bf flips out over what I think are minor issues on a weekly basis and blames me (directly or indirectly) and I become defensive and it ends up in WW3. Weekly.
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Nov 28, 2016 07:19
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- Syncopated
- Oct 21, 2010
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I (36f) want things to work with my fiance (38m) but his freakouts stress me out. He says I'm making it into a big deal.
They're gonna marry and have kids, then in 25 years she'll realise he's autistic and doesn't have the capacity for intimacy. lol owned
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Nov 28, 2016 09:43
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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From /r/legaladvice
quote:
girl wants me to impregnate her
not sure where to go for this but this was the first place i could think of to get some professional help..so im just gonna go straight into it... This girl from wants me to impregnate her and is willing to pay me 250 each time. Wants to keep it anonymous which im happy with. But i just dont want to be screwed over and end up having to child support.. what kind of lawyer do i need to get so i dont..im open for this to happen but as long as i dont get screwed over like i said.
The responses:
quote:There is no way to eliminate liability aside from going to a licensed clinic.
In short, don't do this because you'll be liable for support. quote:It's a completely shitfuck horrible idea. If you want to donate your sperm to her, do it through a reputable sperm bank.
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Nov 28, 2016 14:04
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Girl from where? It just says 'girl from'.
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Nov 28, 2016 14:24
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Girl from where? It just says 'girl from'.
If I had to guess it'd be "girl from school"
or maybe "girl from Ipanema", it's a gritty elevator-music song reboot sequel
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Nov 28, 2016 14:34
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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If I had to guess it'd be "girl from school"
or maybe "girl from Ipanema", it's a gritty elevator-music song reboot sequel
The girl from ipanema comes calling
Wants me to put a baby in her belly
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Nov 28, 2016 14:37
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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Girl from where? It just says 'girl from'.
I went to check to see if he mentioned it, and holy gently caress I'm glad I did
quote:
only way i know her is through a class i took in college im sure i wont be seeing her anytime soon.. once the semester is over
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Nov 28, 2016 14:42
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Hahhaha this guy is either a total Adonis or they're both dump ugly and she's hoping his self esteem is low enough to fall for it
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Nov 28, 2016 14:50
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
- Apr 28, 2010
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From /r/legaladvice
The responses:
He said he wasn't going to. At least it's a happy ending.
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Nov 28, 2016 14:50
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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This is the Murphy's law of open relationship stories
quote:
Tried an open relationship [26 M] with my [26 F] GF of 4 years and can't get back in sync together.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and we tried an open relationship (now closed) because we had to be long-distance for 8 months. Our relationship was stable and healthy before we decided to open things up, but now that we are back living together, I feel like we just can’t get back to the rhythm that we once had.
After she moved away for her work project, we both started feeling sparks with other people in our lives. Since she and I have open communication with one another, it wasn’t a hard for us to talk about/entertain the idea of what it would be like to see others when we couldn’t be physically present with each other. As things progressed in our current locations, we started to read up on open relationships and take the idea more seriously. Eventually we laid a few ground rules and decided to give a shot to opening things up. The main rules were:
1.) If at any point either of us felt uncomfortable and wanted to close the open relationship, we could do it and the other person wouldn’t object
2.) We’d always put each other first and ensure that we still feel important to one another.
3.) If one of us was striking out and the other was crushing it, we’d stop before things got too imbalanced.
4.) Use protection.
It’s worth mentioning here that neither of us are fans of random hookups, so we each ended up with partners who we saw very frequently. Both of these people were fully aware that they were getting involved with our potentially-messy open relationship.
Things on my end progressed much more quickly with the girl I had chemistry with, but my GF didn’t want me to sleep with her until she knew she was actually going to have something with the guy on her end. It ended up being a painful few weeks for me to keep stopping things short of sex until my GF sorted things out with her guy, but I did it even though it was pretty unnatural. Despite being uncertain that anything would ever happen with her guy, one random night they then managed to sleep together out of nowhere and not use protection. This felt like bullshit to me, but we talked it over and agreed that she just needed to get tested before we saw each other again and as long as everything checked out, life would go on. And to help me get over the fact that this caught me really off guard, the next night I finally ended up sleeping with the girl I’d been seeing and it was some of the best sex I’d had in years.
A few months went by, everybody was happy, everybody was winning….
And then a 6 weeks before my GF’s work project was over, the girl I was seeing gave me an ultimatum to choose her or my GF, because she couldn’t be on the side anymore. Although she insisted that she’d never get attached when we started things and knowing I had a long-term girlfriend in another state, I understood where she was coming from because things were going so well between us. It was hard, because we had so much chemistry, but I ended up breaking things off since I still felt committed to my GF. I quickly came to realize why most people in open relationships don’t see one person multiple times or get too attached, because this is where things started to get messy.
Coming out of breaking things off, I felt terrible about ‘stringing’ my girl along and loving with her life, so I asked my GF to close things off and break it off with her guy because A) i realized it wasn’t healthy what we were doing to these other people.
B) Rule 1
C) I held off for 3 weeks for her in the beginning
D) reasons related to rule 3 of incongruence. In my mind there were a lot of reasons why this made sense.
I was shocked when she said ’no’ to breaking it off, she was on her way out of her work project, and that despite rule 1 being in place, she said ‘rules change’. After arguing and arguing and my GF being completely unwilling to break things off, she decided, she’d break things off a week before she came home and I wasn’t going to talk to her until then.
Over the course of a month, it wore on me and wore on me that my gf, wouldn’t chose me over this guy, so I got on Tinder to pass the time and not feel too lovely. Eventually, a week before my GF was supposed to come back, she called and said she broke things off and that they weren’t going to see each other again, and she and I had finally officially closed our open relationships so we could get back to focusing on us when she returned.
Days before she was scheduled to come home, she called and said she hosed up and slept with the guy again. This felt like cheating to me, and after becoming relatively numb to our relationship by sitting around waiting for her, I was on the verge of just breaking up with her and moving on since I felt like I’d been naturally building up a wall against her over the past 6 weeks.
Ultimately, we decided that our 4 years of history were enough to give it a shot and to start going to couples therapy. I uncovered that the open relationship left me with a lot of trust/resentment issues towards her based on how things ended. And I’ve been trying to try to put the resentment behind me, but as we’ve been back together for a few months and we’ve been talking more, there are times when the resentment just comes back stronger and stronger. Recently, I found out that she did things with her guy that I’d always fantasied about doing with her, but shed always denied to me — and it hurts a lot. I tried a lot of new things with the girl that I was seeing because my GF said we’d never do them together, and it turns out she wasn’t unwilling to do them in general… just unwilling to do them with me.
I believe you need a good sex life if you’re going to sustain a long, sustainable relationship together, and without being interested in reopening things up, I think we’re less compatible with one another than we originally thought and that it might be time to move on. She’s adamant about us being too good for each other in every other way, but I’m not seeing it. Thoughts on how to get to the bottom of it?
tl;dr: GF and I tried open relationship. Things were great, then got messy and we closed it off. Now we realize we’re maybe less compatible together than we originally thought, but drifting in indecision. How can we accelerate the process of mending things or breaking them off?
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Nov 28, 2016 15:54
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- Ashrik
- Feb 9, 2009
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WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.
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I just got it, Jesus Christ.
Explain it to me. Slowly.
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Nov 28, 2016 15:56
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- Gaunab
- Feb 13, 2012
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LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
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Explain it to me. Slowly.
It's loss from ctr+alt+del
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Nov 28, 2016 15:59
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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It's loss from ctr+alt+del
Not recognizing a loss edit can often be harder on the man, but what's important is that we move past it, and heal.
I [25F] hate seeing my boyfriend [25M] happy.
quote:I've been with Kyle for a couple years and are on the brink of getting engaged. Things are amazing apart from what I'm about to reveal.
I hate seeing him happy when I'm not the direct result of it. He's close to his siblings, parents, and has great friends. Whenever he receives a phone call and is laughing/smiling, I feel oddly upset and a little angry. I begin to hate both him and whoever he's communicating with.
I've never expressed this to him and can't afford to see a therapist. I've tried journaling but while I'm in the moment of hate I can't hide it so I shower or go to sleep to avoid exploding.
I've mentioned feeling left out before and he's reassured me I'm his #1 and it is evident because he plans everything around me. However, I'm still unsatisfied with how I feel when I see him jubilant.
How can I tackle this? Where is it coming from? Is this a sign I shouldn't be with him?
TLDR: I hate seeing my boyfriend smile and be happy but I want to change that.
ETA: Another thing I should mention is I have very few solid relationships. He's all I have.
Yikes!
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Nov 28, 2016 16:06
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 06:26
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Very few solid relationships, eh
you don't say
e: I know this person's theme song
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Nov 28, 2016 16:19
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Nov 28, 2016 01:42
and I use mostly eye makeup, not really foundation or anything.
