TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

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Total:	1002682 votes

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Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

speng31b posted:

Silicon Valley is already beyond this, most of the baddies are just more into privacy then a Thiel type.

Kind of tangential but these IMs between Sean Parker and Zuck are great:

quote:

Parker: Peter [Thiel] tried some dirty tricks. All that poo poo he does is like classic Moritz poo poo.

Zuckerberg: Haha really?

Parker: Only Moritz does it way better.

Zuckerberg: That's weak.

Parker: I bet he learned that from Mike.

Zuckerberg: Well, now I learned it from him and I'll do it to Eduardo.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:01

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# ? May 31, 2024 08:43

Bolton Hairy-Bore: Jul 31, 2013

obviously there's not going to be a state vs. state civil war.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:04

Victory Position: Mar 16, 2004

Baloogan posted:

yeah we're deffo nearer to a civil war atm, but seriously titor needed to go back in time to get a dumb unix computer or something? thats dumb

punch cards degrade, so you have to go to the source when no one has any use for them

that's time travel logic for 'ya

Baloogan posted:

yay we figure out time travel in the future ... ??? :confuoot:

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:05

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

VOTE YES ON 69 posted:

yeah, I think the rural-urban split is gonna get more and more fuckin painful soon, but I don't think we could legitimately have a civil war any more. there is *way* too much connectedness [see: Pentagon's New Map]

I think we are fuckin' ripe for a world war though

It's not going to be a state v state civil war, it's going to be the rural America that owns the FBI and the military declaring war on the more populous and productive and better educated urban America and rolling tanks into it. Just wait for the mayor of a sanctuary city to openly defy a Trump executive order. Urban America is going to get hosed up.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:06

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Bonapartisan posted:

The only thing I'm getting from all of this is that John Titor's war is real and the dates just got fudged up in translation somehow.

I could've sworn Titor's civil war was supposed to have happened by now but judging by that quote I guess not? It's funny he glossed over us electing a dorito though.

Fidel Castronaut posted:

also, gawker sucked and i'm glad they are gone but they were heroes for doxxing violentacrez. doxxing is bad but that guy was the mod for a bunch of pedo subreddits and he was a total troll prick in reddit comments and then when they doxxed him he begged for them to not reveal his employer.

good stuff.

I liked Gawker.

VOTE YES ON 69 posted:

I think we are fuckin' ripe for a world war though

Isn't there too much connectedness for that as well? Ironically though, a world war might be simpler for humanity to deal with than climate change, as the former is so much more tangible and approachable, while the latter is abstract and extremely difficult to cooperate on.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:06

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

Bolton Hairy-Bore posted:

obviously there's not going to be a state vs. state civil war.

Georgia vs Alabama, The Battle of Who Cares

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:05

Olga Gurlukovich: Nov 13, 2016

how would an american civil war work in 2016? street fighting, a series of coups and a gradual but accelerating breakdown of order and society, but does that even qualify as a civil war

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:06

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

Nichael posted:

I could've sworn Titor's civil war was supposed to have happened by now but judging by that quote I guess not? It's funny he glossed over us electing a dorito though.

I liked Gawker.

Isn't there too much connectedness for that as well? Ironically though, a world war might be simpler for humanity to deal with than climate change, as the former is so much more tangible and approachable, while the latter is abstract and extremely difficult to cooperate on.

climate change is basically the prisoner's dilemma, it can only be worked through if everyone works together but whoever decides to just keep loving everyone else over makes big bucks

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:07

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

blamegame posted:

how would an american civil war work in 2016? street fighting, a series of coups and a gradual but accelerating breakdown of order and society, but does that even qualify as a civil war

let's be honest, it's going to be a race war before anything else

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:08

Olga Gurlukovich: Nov 13, 2016

Nichael posted:

Isn't there too much connectedness for that as well?

thats what they said in 1914 :twisted:

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:08

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

blamegame posted:

how would an american civil war work in 2016? street fighting, a serious of coups and a gradual but accelerating breakdown of order and society, but does that even qualify as a civil war

The executive branch starts telling cities to do poo poo like hand over illegals to be put in concentration camps, someone says no, and then Trump federalizes the national guard and rolls some Abrahms in front of city hall.

And/or

Same scenario, but provoked by demands to suppress protesters followed by Trump "doing it for them."

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:08

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

by race war i of course mean racing

"you fuckers have blue shelled me for the last time"

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:09

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

blamegame posted:

how would an american civil war work in 2016? street fighting, a series of coups and a gradual but accelerating breakdown of order and society, but does that even qualify as a civil war

That's the closest we'd come to it. There will almost certainly never be a civil war in the style of the first one again for a ton of reasons.

But then again, I also said Hillary Clinton would almost certainly be president so who the gently caress knows.

blamegame posted:

thats what they said in 1914

The internet and Netflix exist now.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:09

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Nichael posted:

That's the closest we'd come to it. There will almost certainly never be a civil war in the style of the first one again for a ton of reasons.

But then again, I also said Hillary Clinton would almost certainly be president so who the gently caress knows.

The American civil war (two roughly peer nations with fully fledged governments formed instantly from one parent country) was a ludicrous anomaly that has almost never happened in the history of low intensity warfare and if you want a better example, look at what happened in Syria.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:10

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Nichael posted:

The internet and Netflix exist now.

Good thing the internet has never been used by extremist or separatist groups.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:11

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Syria sure didn't have the internet or Netflix, that's the only reason civil war could possibly happen there.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:12

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

The Oldest Man posted:

The American civil war (two roughly peer nations with fully fledged governments formed instantly from one parent country) was a ludicrous anomaly that has almost never happened in the history of low intensity warfare and if you want a better example, look at what happened in Syria.

syria seems like a case on the exact opposite side of the spectrum, in which things go as badly as possible for everyone at all times

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:12

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

If not for Texas Democrat trickery the next president of the United States in 1932 would have been Governor Alfalfa from Oklahoma, battling Texas in armed conflict over three bridges.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:12

speng31b: May 8, 2010

Nichael posted:

But then again, I also said Hillary Clinton would almost certainly be president so who the gently caress knows.

This may be an unpopular opinion right now but I think as time goes on the "all bets are off" takeaway here is going to dissolve. The rules still exist, they're just not the rules we thought. And I'll probably live to regret saying this, but I do think that Donald Trump being an unstable lunatic will make him an unpopular and ineffective president out of the gate.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:14

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Yinlock posted:

syria seems like a case on the exact opposite side of the spectrum, in which things go as badly as possible for everyone at all times

Yeah totally not like Yemen, Mali, Libya, Tajikistan, Chad, or the DRC could ever have had civil wars in this era of Netflix and the internet.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:14

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

The Oldest Man posted:

Good thing the internet has never been used by extremist or separatist groups.

What I mean is, I think it's harder, in general, to demonize foreign powers so much that you could galvanize another power to war, because the internet has allowed for relationships and partnerships to form that were once impossible.. Maybe that's just hopelessly naive and optimistic though.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:14

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

at least america's pick up truck game will be on point

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:15

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

Nichael posted:

What I mean is, I think it's harder, in general, to demonize foreign powers so much that you could galvanize another power to war, because the internet has allowed for relationships and partnerships to form that were once impossible.. Maybe that's just hopelessly naive and optimistic though.

differing languages keeps us relatively separate on the global communication front though

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:15

The Oldest Man: Jul 28, 2003

Nichael posted:

What I mean is, I think it's harder, in general, to demonize foreign powers so much that you could galvanize another power to war, because the internet has allowed for relationships and partnerships to form that were once impossible.. Maybe that's just hopelessly naive and optimistic though.

If by "harder" you mean "easier" then yes.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:16

Fidel Castronaut: Dec 25, 2004; Houston, we're Havana problem.

Nichael posted:

I liked Gawker.

They did this really gross thing with social justice where they would wear it because it was en vogue but they were never sincere about it. Like, if consent is something that you care about, then why would you release a sex tape when neither party consented to its release? Then they doubled down on "muh journalisms" as if they were a legit outfit and they died as a result and that was fair. Sucked that a shitwad like Thiel pulled the rope on guillotine but they really shouldn't have laid their neck on the thing.

It would have been great to have seen their meltdowns over the election tho.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:16

Cyron: Mar 10, 2014; by zen death robot

are we doomed to this, i mean how can we fix this from going on, let say hillery somehow become presadint due to the EC changing their vote to her instead due to trump being crazy, would we just anger the trump fans more? i feel like if we somehow get trump out we still in a shithole.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:18

Olga Gurlukovich: Nov 13, 2016

Nichael posted:

What I mean is, I think it's harder, in general, to demonize foreign powers so much that you could galvanize another power to war, because the internet has allowed for relationships and partnerships to form that were once impossible.. Maybe that's just hopelessly naive and optimistic though.

the people making the decisions that led to ww1 were all able to communicate w/each other. the man on the street might've been more uh provincial but the people who caused ww1 were basically all on speaking terms w/each other and in some cases they understood each other culturally better than they probably understood their own people

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:20

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

blamegame posted:

how would an american civil war work in 2016? street fighting, a series of coups and a gradual but accelerating breakdown of order and society, but does that even qualify as a civil war

"The civil war in the United States will start in 2004. I would describe it as having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse. The conflict will consume everyone in the US by 2012 and end in 2015 with a very short WWIII."

Also this makes it sound like the MAGA forces win the civil war:

quote:

Outright open fighting was common by then and I joined a shotgun infantry unit in 2011. I served with the "Fighting Diamondbacks" for about 4 years. (Hearing in my right ear isn't as good as I would like it). The civil war ended in 2015 when Russia attacked the U.S. cities (our enemy), China and Europe.

The "enemy" that was attacked by Russia in the U.S. was the forces of the government you live under right now.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:20

Fidel Castronaut: Dec 25, 2004; Houston, we're Havana problem.

speng31b posted:

This may be an unpopular opinion right now but I think as time goes on the "all bets are off" takeaway here is going to dissolve. The rules still exist, they're just not the rules we thought. And I'll probably live to regret saying this, but I do think that Donald Trump being an unstable lunatic will make him an unpopular and ineffective president out of the gate.

He already is one. When you add all the Hillary voters, all the non-voters who hate Trump, and the handful of Trump voters who regret their decision, you have the vast vast majority of Americans hating the President before he has even been sworn in and he is not making himself any more endearing in the interim.

I think we have gone a bit too far into "nothing matters" hysteria itt. poo poo is going to be bad, going to get worse, but we are not going to all surrender to some Dionysian carnival of blood and death where irrationality is the only law. It gets a bit theatrical in here sometimes.

Cyron posted:

are we doomed to this, i mean how can we fix this from going on, let say hillery somehow become presadint due to the EC changing their vote to her instead due to trump being crazy, would we just anger the trump fans more? i feel like if we somehow get trump out we still in a shithole.

Hillary will not be president but in the alternate timeline in which a recount and faithless electors make her POTUS, the world would be poo poo because the GOP Congress would be even more obstructionist than they have been and she's not a great person to begin with and Trump's base would be furious. But it would still be a better world than a world in which Trump is POTUS.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:21

Cyron: Mar 10, 2014; by zen death robot

Fidel Castronaut posted:

They did this really gross thing with social justice where they would wear it because it was en vogue but they were never sincere about it. Like, if consent is something that you care about, then why would you release a sex tape when neither party consented to its release? Then they doubled down on "muh journalisms" as if they were a legit outfit and they died as a result and that was fair. Sucked that a shitwad like Thiel pulled the rope on guillotine but they really shouldn't have laid their neck on the thing.

It would have been great to have seen their meltdowns over the election tho.

i love how they where killed by hulk hogen even in real life the fucker never jobbed.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:20

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

Cyron posted:

are we doomed to this, i mean how can we fix this from going on, let say hillery somehow become presadint due to the EC changing their vote to her instead due to trump being crazy, would we just anger the trump fans more? i feel like if we somehow get trump out we still in a shithole.

i think they would be very angry

they were ready to be all grouchy and "lol its rigged" but be overall chill about trump losing but yeah no fuckin way trump ain't president

if they just flip the result like holy poo poo lol

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:20

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

ugh, goons :negative:

Syria has had rebellions and strifes every generation or so, Hafez al-Assad levelled an entire city to put the last rebellion down. hardly compares.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:22

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

Fidel Castronaut posted:

we are not going to all surrender to some Dionysian carnival of blood and death where irrationality is the only law.

says increasingly nervous man

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:22

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

The Oldest Man posted:

If by "harder" you mean "easier" then yes.

I fully admit I could be wrong, but I just don't see how a world war could occur again when economic and cultural exchanges between powers are so strong. The Democrats couldn't even get voters to hate Russia and Putin when they were literally hacking our democracy, how could the government get us ready for a war with them?

Yinlock posted:

differing languages keeps us relatively separate on the global communication front though

Cultural exchanges still occur though. On a regular basis I eat Chinese food and play with Russians online. I have a sister adopted from China. It just seems like we're too integrated for literal global war.

speng31b posted:

This may be an unpopular opinion right now but I think as time goes on the "all bets are off" takeaway here is going to dissolve. The rules still exist, they're just not the rules we thought. And I'll probably live to regret saying this, but I do think that Donald Trump being an unstable lunatic will make him an unpopular and ineffective president out of the gate.

I keep saying this, and I hope I'm wrong, but I think his cult of personality is incredibly effective as a barrier against criticism. I would be shocked if his voters ever hate him.

Fidel Castronaut posted:

They did this really gross thing with social justice where they would wear it because it was en vogue but they were never sincere about it. Like, if consent is something that you care about, then why would you release a sex tape when neither party consented to its release? Then they doubled down on "muh journalisms" as if they were a legit outfit and they died as a result and that was fair. Sucked that a shitwad like Thiel pulled the rope on guillotine but they really shouldn't have laid their neck on the thing.

It would have been great to have seen their meltdowns over the election tho.

I don't remember all the details of that debacle, but wasn't the main point of the sex tape release that he repeatedly made really horrible ethnic slurs about his kid's boyfriend? It wasn't so much the sex, because who wanted to see him have sex?

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:22

Fidel Castronaut: Dec 25, 2004; Houston, we're Havana problem.

Baloogan posted:

says increasingly nervous man

Nah. I mean, yah, but nah. I am very very nervous but not as nervous as like some people itt.

Nichael posted:

I don't remember all the details of that debacle, but wasn't the main point of the sex tape release that he repeatedly made really horrible ethnic slurs about his kid's boyfriend? It wasn't so much the sex, because who wanted to see him have sex?

Even if there was some justification for showing a person having sex because they are not a good person, there was another party in that video who (as far as I know) never called his kid's boyfriend anything at all so releasing a sex tape with that woman is hosed up. Especially hosed up if it's some weird rear end skewed sense of serving justice.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:26

Cyron: Mar 10, 2014; by zen death robot

Nichael posted:

I fully admit I could be wrong, but I just don't see how a world war could occur again when economic and cultural exchanges between powers are so strong. The Democrats couldn't even get voters to hate Russia and Putin when they were literally hacking our democracy, how could the government get us ready for a war with them?

Cultural exchanges still occur though. On a regular basis I eat Chinese food and play with Russians online. I have a sister adopted from China. It just seems like we're too integrated for literal global war.

I keep saying this, and I hope I'm wrong, but I think his cult of personality is incredibly effective as a barrier against criticism. I would be shocked if his voters ever hate him.

I don't remember all the details of that debacle, but wasn't the main point of the sex tape release that he repeatedly made really horrible ethnic slurs about his kid's boyfriend? It wasn't so much the sex, because who wanted to see him have sex?

a pro wrestler where his prime was the 80's being racist is not newsworthy imo.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:26

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Fidel Castronaut posted:

But it would still be a better world than a world in which Trump is POTUS.

Fidel Castronaut posted:

Nah. I mean, yah, but nah. I am very very nervous but not as nervous as like some people itt.

Even if there was some justification for showing a person having sex because they are not a good person, there was another party in that video who (as far as I know) never called his kid's boyfriend anything at all so releasing a sex tape with that woman is hosed up. Especially hosed up if it's some weird rear end skewed sense of serving justice.

You're not wrong, but I still liked Gawker overall. And I think it is wrong to celebrate their death when it meant Peter Thiel got his wish.

Cyron posted:

a pro wrestler where his prime was the 80's being racist is not newsworthy imo.

We literally just elected a loving reality TV show star to be president, so yeah a pro wrestler being racist is newsworthy in 2016. He's a public figure, and that aspect of the tape was something the media had a right to report. The sex part, not so much.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:27

Shipon: Nov 7, 2005

gawker was a perversion of "journalism" and them being shut down was right but thiel bankrolling a campaign to undo them is kind of unsettling

you don't have to defend gawker being lovely garbage to be concerned about the wealthy using their pull to influence the court

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:33

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

Shipon posted:

gawker was a perversion of "journalism" and them being shut down was right but thiel bankrolling a campaign to undo them is kind of unsettling

you don't have to defend gawker being lovely garbage to be concerned about the wealthy using their pull to influence the court

I'm not defending them because of that, I legitimately found it entertaining to read.

And it's more than "kind of unsettling." It's this.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:34

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# ? May 31, 2024 08:43

Kazak_Hstan: Apr 28, 2014; Grimey Drawer

The American Civil War II will start with Attorney General Jefferson Beaurgard Sessions III leading a regiment of Alabama artillery to fire on Fort Sumter, a historical site representative of the overreach of the federal government.

# ? Nov 28, 2016 09:39

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