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Farecoal posted:i took what I thought was Viagra, but then i looked at the label and it turned out it was nega-viagra imported from the underrealm! gosh, there was so much egg on my face when i went back to my girlfriend, and pulled down my pants to reveal a black all-devouring portal to His Domain! |
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Dec 3, 2016 01:14
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 04:54 |
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Farecoal posted:i took what I thought was Viagra, but then i looked at the label and it turned out it was nega-viagra imported from the underrealm! gosh, there was so much egg on my face when i went back to my girlfriend, and pulled down my pants to reveal a black all-devouring portal to His Domain! You have to be really careful when you buy the blue diamonds from some sketchy dude off Craigslist. Once I got actual blue diamonds, which made nice earrings for my lady, but didn't help with my uselessly soft bits.
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Dec 3, 2016 01:29
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in less than a week of taking GABA I now have the confidence to walk up to any dangerous wild animal, look them straight in the eyes, and politely introduce myself |
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Dec 3, 2016 01:49
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I took some rogane even though I've got a full head of hair and now I look like chewbacca.
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Dec 3, 2016 01:57
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"it's finally complete. after a fortnight of routine and patience it's finally complete!" *downs a bottle of vitamin d* "my power will be unmatched!" *turns on a sunbox and sits by it, thinking happy thoughts* |
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Dec 3, 2016 01:58
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The real reason they don't want you taking more Tylenol than advised is that's how they make super soldiers who feel no pain.
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Dec 3, 2016 02:08
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eat vitamin d til i can photosynthesize |
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Dec 3, 2016 02:10
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My shampoo is a 50/50 mixture of rogaine and nair
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Dec 3, 2016 02:27
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an extremely attractive woman told me I should increase my daily vitamin f dosage and offered to help me with that. my question is, is this some kind of scam? shouldn't I be getting this stuff from amazon or something?
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Dec 3, 2016 02:28
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I was super tense after working out one sesh so I lathered icy-hot pretty thick all over myself. The next thing I know movement is slowed and then impossible. My skin freezes solid, icy tendrils crawl across the surface I am lying on. The room I am in loses its temperature rapidly and I hear the creaking of pipes as the sudden temperature change causes them to bend and warp on their mountings. The glass in the windows shatters as air pressure from outside fights to fill the void left by the rapid depressurization. A hail of ice falls on my home suddenly as weather patterns shift. The tides across the world slowly recede as the world is consumed by ice. The shattered world, dissipated into gas and dust, is disturbed by a nearby gravitational force. Clumps form, creating their own fields drawing more gas inwards. The collapsing clump begins to rotate and flatten into a disc of gas and dust. Slowly the disc rotates faster and faster, forming a hot dense core. My glutes feel great though vanisher fucked around with this message at 06:38 on Dec 7, 2016
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Dec 3, 2016 03:04
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Manifisto posted:an extremely attractive woman told me I should increase my daily vitamin f dosage and offered to help me with that. my question is, is this some kind of scam? shouldn't I be getting this stuff from amazon or something? you should give her the vitamin d
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Dec 3, 2016 03:16
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after taking some airborne, i am now a sentient vapour
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Dec 3, 2016 03:49
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MrWillsauce posted:you should give her the vitamin d agreed. making sure she has enough vitamin d, obtained through sunlight and some foods, is a good thing to do, as a lack of vitamin d can- oh. you mean d as in dicks |
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Dec 3, 2016 04:37
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vanisher posted:I was super tense after working out one sesh so I lathered icy-hot pretty thick all over myself. ---------------- |
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Dec 3, 2016 07:59
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Took two of those gas station vitamin and supplement energy booster pill packet things, I'm driving my truck telepathically. But then I accidentally took a second GasX dose within the four hour dosage time frame and literally imploded
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Dec 3, 2016 08:29
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I took so much metamucil I think I just poo poo one of my eyes right out of its socket |
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Dec 3, 2016 08:34
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I stumbled upon an overturned truck full of pepto bismol, the supply covering the road and the truck driver half-mad, face covered with pink. Together we consumed the bounty, face first like dogs, lapping with extended tongues, grateful for this rare opportunity. Soon we were indistinguishable from the mess on the road, so enveloped in pink muck. Time has no meaning any more, all is pepto. The truck remained on the road after the liquid was sopped up by our increasingly sponge-like tongues. What next? Indigestion and diarrhea are distant memories, and our physical selves are forever changed, now consumption is all. We set upon the wreck with our tube bodies, lapping up the miscellaneous liquid: oil, antifreeze, petrol. Our task complete, we expelled our byproduct from a polished sphincter: vanilla scented mist that floats away, pollinating nearby flowers and rejuvenating the earth. All thanks to the bounty of pepto bismol. |
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Dec 3, 2016 09:10
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FutonForensic posted:This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the Claritin-D, your nasal congestion ends. You wake up in your bed and breathe however you want to breathe. You take this handful of Sudafed, you stay in Walgreens and I show you how deep your sinuses go my allergies are 24/7 terrible and this filled me with hope and determination ---------------- |
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Dec 3, 2016 09:31
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so I recently switched from my old toothpaste to colgate optic white
Slugnoid fucked around with this message at 11:36 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 11:20
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Zyla posted:I took so much metamucil I think I just poo poo one of my eyes right out of its socket eat Metamucil til you can feel your blood moving |
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Dec 3, 2016 13:35
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drank more than the recommended daily dose of milk and now I have indestructible bones and bone claws
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Dec 3, 2016 13:56
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supervillian: you'll never escape from my prison, FutonForensic! The gaps of these bars are much too thin to let someone as solid and dry like you escape! *I take a stash of travel-sized lotion bottles out of my butthole and start applying them until my body is nothing but moisture* supervillian: what are you doing--no!! *My skin is like water. I effortlessly glide between the bars and out under the door*
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Dec 3, 2016 16:56
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I drank half a Red Bull for a spot-on Sephiroth cosplay |
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Dec 4, 2016 03:35
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google THIS posted:I drank half a Red Bull for a spot-on Sephiroth cosplay that giant snake impaled isnt cosplay that really happened, dude ---------------- |
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Dec 4, 2016 03:41
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I took 2 chocolate ex-lax and now I am a 90s prank tv plotline.
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Dec 4, 2016 03:46
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google THIS posted:I drank half a Red Bull for a spot-on Sephiroth cosplay
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Dec 4, 2016 04:30
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I drank a Red Bull and it gave me wings. I drank two Red Bull and it gave me rockets. |
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Dec 4, 2016 06:32
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That one stephen king story, but instead of hitting a gypsy with a car the main character drinks a SlimFast.
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Dec 4, 2016 08:06
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I drank so much gatorade i single handedly reversed the drought in my area
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Dec 4, 2016 09:51
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I took two Centrum Silver for seniors so I now get two social security checks, a pension from a job I never had, and was just approved for Medicare part W which doesn't even exist yet. I spent my extra cash on a bitchin gas powered motorized wheelchair with a lift kit and monster truck wheels. Vroom Vroom!
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Dec 4, 2016 11:05
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Consumed 8 servings of fruit; double the recommended daily value. I've been on the run for a few days now. The FDA doesn't recommend; it commands. I bit off more than I could chew and now I know things I'm not supposed to. They can't catch me, though. I have so much potassium flowing through my veins that my muscles are infinitely efficient. So much vitamin C I can camouflage myself like a chameleon. The FDA made a mistake, and, one way or another, it will be their last. |
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Dec 4, 2016 16:48
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lol at all dis
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Dec 4, 2016 17:52
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Music Theory posted:Consumed 8 servings of fruit; double the recommended daily value. I've been on the run for a few days now. The FDA doesn't recommend; it commands. I bit off more than I could chew and now I know things I'm not supposed to. They can't catch me, though. I have so much potassium flowing through my veins that my muscles are infinitely efficient. So much vitamin C I can camouflage myself like a chameleon. The FDA made a mistake, and, one way or another, it will be their last.
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Dec 5, 2016 15:32
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I drank a gallon of cranberry juice, tomorrow I start my new job as a waterjet cutter |
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Dec 5, 2016 15:50
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google THIS posted:I drank a gallon of cranberry juice, tomorrow I start my new job as a waterjet cutter everyone else has a urinary tract infection relative to me |
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Dec 5, 2016 16:02
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double shots of espresso, not only have I not slept in years, I've also literally awakened my inner self
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Dec 5, 2016 16:19
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"sir, where would you like your flu sh--" she is interrupted as I completely disrobe and point to all over my body
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Dec 5, 2016 17:57
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i was worried about getting measles from the unvaccinated children in my neighborhood so i got a few thousand booster shots and now have single-handedly given everyone in my water system immunity from both german measles AND actual measles.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:20
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Zyla posted:I drank so much gatorade i single handedly reversed the drought in my area I drank so much gatorade that plants crave me.
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Dec 6, 2016 21:06
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 04:54 |
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Thanks to having multiple fake IDs, I have gotten so many vaccinations that I exude an autism causing aura for three miles around me. |
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Dec 6, 2016 23:57
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