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Gaunab posted:My fiancé (26M) doesn't believe I (24F) actually enjoy when we have sex. Together 2+ years. Can I be with this woman instead?
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Dec 3, 2016 01:04
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Gaunab posted:You guys aren't just nerds, but super-nerds This thread moves too fast but lol at this guy. "My girlfriend cut off all contact with me for two weeks. I went out with some coworkers and talked to a girl for hours, which I have never done with my girlfriend (???), then had sex so mind blowing I was literally terrified afterwards. This girl is different than my girlfriend, who I describe as controlling and uncaring towards my thoughts and feelings. So naturally, internet, please advise me on how to cut this new girl off and get back with my girlfriend."
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Dec 3, 2016 01:56
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ZenMasterBullshit posted:Who cares. You let em believe in a fairy tale for a few years and around age 10 they kinda realize it's bullshit and you tell them it is. If it'll make the wife happy and let the kids have just a tiny tiny bit of wonder for a little bit in their childhood what does it even matter that you spend a few years telling them Tim Allen is magical and good and not just a Coke head. 10? 10?!? I'm sorry, but if your kid hasn't got this poo poo figured out by 7 your kid is 'tarded and you should just try for a new one.
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Dec 3, 2016 02:32
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Tender Bender posted:This thread moves too fast but lol at this guy. "My girlfriend cut off all contact with me for two weeks. I went out with some coworkers and talked to a girl for hours, which I have never done with my girlfriend (???), then had sex so mind blowing I was literally terrified afterwards. This girl is different than my girlfriend, who I describe as controlling and uncaring towards my thoughts and feelings. So naturally, internet, please advise me on how to cut this new girl off and get back with my girlfriend." Even with the honeymoon effect a two week cut off of all contact is loving nuts to think that's not just plain old ghosting.
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Dec 3, 2016 02:41
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I thought you guys would like a post about a positive relationship.quote:After sleeping with my then girlfriend she got up to use the shower. How I kept a stiff upper lip while talking to someone with poo on their buttcrack I have no idea, but by god I had a face of stone. I instantly realized she'd be horribly, horribly embarrassed if she found out and I couldn't let that happen. I left the bathroom and thought to myself, "Ok, she was on bottom for awhile and buck naked of course so.....oh gently caress me." I immediately head to the bedroom, throw back the covers and sure enough, there's a big loving skidmark on her pretty white bedsheet. "Well gently caress hotshot, what do you do now?" Strip the bed, explain later. Fine. I pull the fitted sheet off the bed and find another fitted pad thing under it. With another loving skidmark. At this point Im starting to feel impressed by my prowess(heh heh) and mortified at the possibility of the loving MATTRESS having poo poo on it to. I anxiously peel off the fitted pad and, thank the gods of fornication, it remained unbefouled. Relieved I wouldn't have to throw her mattress on the front lawn and set it on fire I quickly throw the sheets in the washer and start it up. Shortly after she gets out of the shower and asks about the stripped bed and washing machine running. Lately she'd been spotting a little bit and she figured that must've been what it was. It didn't bother me at all and I knew she couldn't help it but it made her feel really embarrassed. That's why I knew if a little bit of blood on my junk embarrassed her then a big loving rooster tail on her bedsheets would loving destroy her. So she got sad and embarrassed and talked about how she grossed me out and I wouldn't want to sleep with her anymore but all in all we were fine. To this day I never told a soul. That was the first and hopefully last time I've ever literally hosed the poo poo outta someone.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:47
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Tom Gorman posted:Man, I don't even understand this. It makes no sense and I don't have a viable explanation. But in my experience this is also completely true. All I know is that I'm feelin' frisky. Call me.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:53
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Who has poo poo-the-bed sex under the covers?
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Dec 3, 2016 03:59
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kaschei posted:Who has poo poo-the-bed sex under the covers? Horny, incontinent spies?
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Dec 3, 2016 04:16
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kaschei posted:Who has poo poo-the-bed sex under the covers? people without central heating, I'd imagine
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Dec 3, 2016 04:23
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BOOTY-ADE posted:I love how he can't put 2 and 2 together to realize that yeah, her orgasms might be more intense and quick because she hasn't got off in a loving week Is a week really that long though?
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Dec 3, 2016 10:05
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Update to a modern version of the myth. "No sweet child, in our house we download santa, he comes in through the cable modem." Honestly, most kids must learn santa isn't real pretty young now. When I grew up there were people who believed at 10-11. Now, by the time you can read, if you punch santa into google it's all "SANTA IS FAKE" stuff. Maybe kids just don't search for stuff like that though. I don't know. I mean santa being not real must have been in encyclopedias or on MTV or some poo poo in the past. Khorne fucked around with this message at 10:51 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 10:48
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Gaunab posted:You guys aren't just nerds, but super-nerds THEY WERE ON A BREAK. *Friends theme plays.* When my younger brother learned Santa was fake he was so angry he stopped talking with my mother for awhile. I made him come around by telling him Santa was an rear end in a top hat who liked other kids better than us anyway so it's better he never existed. (We were poor.) Jenner fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 14:16
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Khorne posted:And the elves are in cahoots with the NSA so they know every last thing you say and do on the internet. The government might not care, but Santa does, so watch out motherfucker. My niece is smart as hell and only figured out the Santa thing last year, when she was almost 10. She was hilariously angry.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:25
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I was 8 when I figured it out. This will so date me...got a original Nintendo Entertainment system for X-Mas that year. Noticed there was a Montgomery Ward's sticker on it. My response..."Santa's not real...  COOL, I GOT A NINTENDO!  " So, I guess the kid should figure it out when they get something they really want.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:46
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I know this is from r/leagaladvice, but:quote:[Boston] I am a student and I had a one night stand which lead to an unwanted pregnancy, what can I do to avoid legal association ? And after the OP is predictably called out for his behaviour he posts this in r/NoStupidQuestions: quote:Why should men have to pay child support? What's the worst that can happen if I do not pay it? I don't know if he's going to get the help he's looking for.
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Dec 3, 2016 14:50
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The Lobotomy Kid posted:I know this is from r/leagaladvice, but: Hahah he's getting shredded in the second place too. What a piece of poo poo
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Dec 3, 2016 15:04
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All he has to do is leave the country and never come back and it's a clean getaway, although if he returns and the mom or kid hires a PI he may be hosed hard, but unlikely. All he has to do is run, although he is a massive shitbag if he does. Yep, Oman has no child support federal level agreements with the US like some other countries, to no surprise ever. But hey she could go to Oman and get stoned if she wanted to save his face!!! C-SPAN Caller fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 15:30
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I hope the girl messages his parents on facebook or something.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:34
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I hope the girl messages his parents on facebook or something. poo poo doesn't have to be the girl, just anyone. Honestly, the girl knows who he is. I put the chances that he's able to keep it from his entire family almost nil in this day and age. There's also the chance his family is rich and that is why the girl is planning to keep it. To be honest, I have some sympathy, sure he is scared shitless about what'll happen when his parents find out. But the way he phrased that question it's impossible not to hate him instantly.
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Dec 3, 2016 15:46
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Play posted:poo poo doesn't have to be the girl, just anyone. Oman has maybe 20% market penetration with Facebook so it'd highly unlikely she can contact any of his relatives or it ever getting back to them and they most likely don't speak English. The world isn't that connected and most countries, especially oppressive middle eastern ones, have heavy internet censorship. Yall are hoping for juicy karma that just won't happen. Now if he was Norwegian, the owning would be loving hilarious and he'd be on the hook hard. If he was a woman from the middle east I'd feel more pity but this isn't getting back to them, middle eastern prince shame babies are dime a dozen and he ain't even that, and he'll at worst if people find out get a slap on the wrist because there out of wedlock babies are often blamed on the woman, like how rape is. And if he is a psycho and she ever dared go to Oman or her kid did he could probably get away with murder for an honor killing. gently caress the Arab states. C-SPAN Caller fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 16:22
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tactlessbastard posted:Maybe she gets alimony that ends if she moves in with someone else? Is that a thing? Yes it is.
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Dec 3, 2016 16:38
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blackmet posted:I was 8 when I figured it out. For me is was seeing the Castle Grayskull playset in my parents closet. Dad looked shocked and said, "....sorry.." I didn't give a poo poo about Santa and I was more pissed that I had to wait a month.
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Dec 3, 2016 17:13
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C-SPAN Caller posted:Yep, Oman has no child support federal level agreements with the US like some other countries, to no surprise ever. IIRC police in Texas and (of course) Florida do not cooperate with out-of-state police on child-support delinquency, so he can even stay in the country if he's careful.
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Dec 3, 2016 17:32
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Doc Hawkins posted:IIRC police in Texas and (of course) Florida do not cooperate with out-of-state police on child-support delinquency, so he can even stay in the country if he's careful. I don't think that's 100% accurate-- child support orders from one state court are usually required to be collected by any other state. But that's neither here nor there. You know what IS? A friend [26M] of mine found Me [26M] and my girlfriend [24F]'s fetlife page, and is giving us a hard time for our fetish quote:For about 2 years now, me and my girlfriend have been into a particular fetish, and it's something that both of us enjoy immensely. Both of us are from the same ethnicity (non-white) and we really enjoy white-worshipping and racial humiliation. It is something that took some time for us to find out, but we've always kept a very open communication with each other and made sure to be open to each other's sexual kinks and ideas. After some talking and preparations, we tried out meeting with a white guy at his place and had him "enslave us" and have his way with both of us sexually and we loved it, so we continued this lifestyle. It's all done safely, it's fantasy roleplaying, we discuss everything with him beforehand, we develop safe words that can be used to stop the play in case one of us get uncomfortable, and nothing has gone wrong with these encounters. My girlfriend and I always discuss each night afterwards and talk about the ups and downs, how we could do it better, how the other person was feeling, etc. keeping our philosophy of a very open and honest communication.
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Dec 3, 2016 17:42
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The Lobotomy Kid posted:I know this is from r/leagaladvice, but: I hope the mom has a really good job or supportive family.
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Dec 3, 2016 17:43
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Teddybear posted:I don't think that's 100% accurate-- child support orders from one state court are usually required to be collected by any other state. But that's neither here nor there. You know what IS? lol
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Dec 3, 2016 17:46
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Racism is evil. Therefore no black people are ever allowed weirdass submission kinks. Only white guys can be cucked.
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Dec 3, 2016 17:54
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Teddybear posted:I don't think that's 100% accurate-- child support orders from one state court are usually required to be collected by any other state. But that's neither here nor there. You know what IS? Hachi machi!
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Dec 3, 2016 17:56
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Teddybear posted:I don't think that's 100% accurate-- child support orders from one state court are usually required to be collected by any other state. But that's neither here nor there. You know what IS? I don't know why I keep being surprised at people's insane loving fetishes, but well, here we are
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Dec 3, 2016 17:59
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ikanreed posted:Racism is evil. I want to know if the other guy is white so loving bad for max hilarity and only found out because he likes playing master in this fetish C-SPAN Caller fucked around with this message at 18:09 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 18:04
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Teddybear posted:I don't think that's 100% accurate-- child support orders from one state court are usually required to be collected by any other state. But that's neither here nor there. You know what IS? Y'know I really shouldn't be surprised this is a thing since I already knew the inverse was a thing Everything's a thing
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Dec 3, 2016 18:08
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Their friend commited a sin worse than even racism - kink shaming.
Syncopated fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Dec 3, 2016 |
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Dec 3, 2016 18:09
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How did that guy find their FetLife profile
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Dec 3, 2016 18:12
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Syncopated posted:Their friend commited a worse sin than even racism - kink shaming. No the real funny part is throwing stones in glass houses because Gumbel2Gumbel posted:How did that guy find their FetLife profile
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Dec 3, 2016 18:14
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No you see my fet life profile was just to make fun of and look at weirdos, no officer I'm not into loving animals I just view it ironically
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Dec 3, 2016 18:15
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He was just minding his own business, trying to find friends to discuss his adult baby diaper lover lifestyle with in peace, when suddenly,
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Dec 3, 2016 18:16
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Finding out a fetish through open sharing is one thing to shame or disassociate from but digging for it or finding it where you expect to find it is p lovely and raises questions about the dirty laundry airing guy and how he found it or why he was looking for it in the first place I still find it hard for a white dude tho doing the master role to be "not racist" at all and don't see anything positive about this if it's a public thing
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Dec 3, 2016 18:21
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The most obscene fetish is no fetish at all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tg-9a0H6pk
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Dec 3, 2016 18:21
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Chichevache posted:The most obscene fetish is no fetish at all. Please don't shame my Normaling
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Dec 3, 2016 18:43
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No see, he's playing the ultimate master, by shaming the ignorant savages for their backwards and uncivilized ways. He's trying to help his friends get off! It would be really funny if it was actually a Japanese couple who would have a white person over for tea and then get off on full-costume Meiji Restoration(or that period where the Portuguese showed up and introduced firearms, either one) roleplay in the bedroom after their guest left.
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Dec 3, 2016 19:10
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