well why not posted:

I'm kinkshaming the woman in that story, and every single other poster in this thread

C-SPAN Caller posted:

Yeah her blaming her foot on weight loss made my eyes roll. Just eat less. That being said her mom is being lovely even if the author is probably eating way too much.

quote:

I am 5'3 and 125 lbs...

Tjadeth posted:

Demon Of The Fall posted:

I've seen more fights at a Home Goods when I worked there than anywhere else, place is no joke especially when two people see the same lamp or whatever at the same time and then they brawl over it like dogs.

Gaunab posted:

People with borderline personality disorder need to be medicated and go to therapy.

100 degrees Calcium posted:

It's so weird to me that there's a mental condition which is just "makes you a jackass, incapable of keeping it together for more than a few months without deeply and unapologetically hurting the people who love you."

Jenner posted:

Compromise is all well and good, furniture is expensive and everyone has a style. I have heard it can be difficult to get furniture as a couple because folks can have wildly different style preferences. I guess I got off easy because I mostly liked everything my partner liked.

... except for our loving couch.

Jenner posted:

Compromise is all well and good, furniture is expensive and everyone has a style. I have heard it can be difficult to get furniture as a couple because folks can have wildly different style preferences. I guess I got off easy because I mostly liked everything my partner liked.

... except for our loving couch.



Okay, look. I didn't want to do this but enough is enough. I have borderline personality disorder and I am not a terrible loving monster. (loving awful poster though. ) I'm kinda fed up with biting my tongue and staying silent whIle people just condemn and vilify people like me as toxic people unworthy of love or dispassionate remorseless jackasses or dangerous unpredictable powder kegs or whatever. I'm not going to pretend it's nbd and that everything is loving amazing. I know we're challenging. I know it's difficult sometimes. I've lived it. This is my life. There is no cure. There have been times when I have hurt people I care about and I feel incredible guilt over it.

But I got treatment. I went to therapy and I got medicated. I'm near constantly working on myself and trying to improve. I still struggle. I am always fighting with this mental illness and I've had lapses but it has gotten much better. People enjoy being around me. They can lower their guard. They like having me around. I'm not dangerous and I'm worthy of love.

I can't stop goons from being goons so I don't even know what I'm looking for here but damnit someone needs to say something.

Sorry for the loving E/N derail but please loving realize that the mentally ill are loving people just like you.

"Lol, nice meltdown etc." Whatever. I know.

Jesus, gently caress me.



Anyway, I think r/relationships would lose a lot of material if people stopped dating people ten plus years older than them.

Jenner posted:

quote:

My boyfriend of a a year [26m] got mad when he lost at bowling yesterday, made a huge scene, and got us kicked out of the bowling alley. Not the first time he's gotten way too upset at losing and completely lost control. Wondering if I [24F] need to end things.

This has become a really bad habit lately to the point where I'm literally afraid to go anywhere with him or do anything if it involves any form of competition. He always promises me he'll be on good behavior and control himself, but he never does. So at this point I have 0 confidence in any of his promises to do better or act like an adult.

Things are fine as long as he's winning, but once he starts losing he's like a snowball rolling down hill. He gets angrier and angrier until eventually he has an outburst or some sort of fit, which usually is...bad. Not just embarrassing bad, but bad as in it has cost us a few friends because they don't want to deal with the drama.

I've seen him dent putters from mini golf, break all kinds of things (even put a huge hole in the wall of his apartment by throwing a chair), and gotten thrown out of a few places because he made such a scene, which is what happened last night.

We went out with 2 other couples who are friends of ours. They both wanted to do bowling. I did try to discourage them without throwing my boyfriend under the bus, but I lost that battle (partially because they've never seen him when he's losing).

All it took was a full gutter balls to make him angry. I knew after about 3 bowls that the night was over. You honestly would have thought he was a professional or had money on the game the way he acted. He didn't smile or talk to any of us. We all got ignored, except when he did tell me to "f--- off" when I asked him to calm down, while he literally stared only at the scoreboard and treated it as the only thing that existed. He started doing better, but if he missed a strike or a spare he would curse and act as if getting 8 pins or 9 was the worse thing in the world.

Not only that but he then got very curt with the rest of us to the point where no one wanted to talk to him by the end of the first game. I wish I would have just gone home at that point, but he promised he would relax for the next game. Same story. Poor start to the game that immediately sours his mood. He did manage to make a comeback. He had a (small) chance to win in the final frame but wound up throwing a gutter ball which ended that chance. I figured he would be mad, but I didn't expect him to throw EVERY ball in the ball holder down the lane (several even went into other lanes because of the way he threw them). Someone from the alley came over to warn him, and after he was very ugly to the employee, he was asked to leave.

I was so upset I didn't go home with him and haven't responded to his texts or calls today. He says he is sorry and realizes he has a problem. He's even promised to go to counseling, but he's made these same promises before. I'm just so tired of this and not being able to go anywhere or do anything for fear he's going to explode and cause a scene. I also hate the wedge this is driving between us and our friends. I love him and want to give him another chance, but at what point do I accept he won't change. I've been wondering all day if I should just move on, but my heart is telling me to give him another chance. Should I?

tl;dr: My boyfriend has a bad temper and loses control when he loses at any game. It's gotten us kicked out of several places, costs a few friends, and is downright scary sometimes. He is promising to do better again, but he always promises to do better. I want to give him another chance, but I've also been thinking about ending things. I'm torn about what to do and at what point I have accept he won't change.

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

Didn't mean to imply you were a monster, I just think most people with mental illnesses need therapy and medication. Like this guy:

quote:

From 6 to 4 years ago I lost my parents (mom to cancer first, two years later dad to suicide). After that it was just me and my twin sister and our older sister. We were 19 and she was 28. It was a very difficult time but our older sister stepped up and was really influential on us. She provided a lot of emotional support, guided us from the tragedy back into normal life and made sure we got the help that we needed.

Right now the three of us are doing well and we're close. I've never thought of our family as having a "leader" (it's not a football team or something), we're all independent but close. But if I had to say who is the leader it would obviously be her because she's more experienced and wiser than us but I never think in these terms. I often seek and trust her advice and usually follow it because her logic is great and it usually works well.

Now comes my girlfriend of 9 months who thinks I should be the one "leading" the family and my sisters should follow my lead. She says I can't be subservient to my sister and I need to establish my supremacy because I'm the man of the family. I find this super creepy. I never think in these terms. If she wasn't a woman herself I would have said she's the biggest misogynist in the world but now I just don't know what this is all about.

She also says I shouldn't be treating my twin sister (who lives with me) as an equal and I should be more dominating in our relarionships. God I don't even know what this means and when I ask she says every man knows what this means.

OK how do I deal with this? I of course have no intention of becoming this huge dick that she expects me to be to my sisters.

tl;dr: Girlfriend says I should lead my family because I'm a man and I should dominate my sisters. I struggle to even understand the meaning of these.

quote:

Oddly enough during sex she always says "dominate me". I always took that as equivalent of "gently caress me". Maybe she means other things...

Ira Glass Jaw posted:

gently caress that couch

Gaunab posted:

Didn't mean to imply you were a monster, I just think most people with mental illnesses need therapy and medication. Like this guy:

Jeza posted:

It's obviously unfair to tar everybody with the same brush, but a lot of goons with negative opinions have probably just had bad experiences with people with BPD. Personally, my experiences have been universally negative. They are manipulative, unpredictable, egocentric, and quite frankly often malicious. Most of them were in therapy and on meds too. There are people who can co-exist and be friends with people with BPD, and all power to them. But I avoid them like the plague. I imagine a relationship with somebody with BPD is just an extremely stressful experience. For me, the pure focused devotion and love you can get from a BPD partner isn't worth the flip of a coin distrust, paranoia and anger over perceived slights which seems like a hallmark of that condition.

quote:

Theres no non-awkward way to say this, my bf has an eagle living at his house. The first time I went over he warned me not to freak out because it might be inside the house when we walked in. I thought he was joking because people don't really own birds like that, but he told me it was real and he doesn't really own it, that it comes and goes as it pleases and is more of a "friend".

He leaves the window open all the time because it likes to come inside. He's not worried about people breaking in because he lives out in the country and the bird is very territorial. He said he's trained it to not mess up his house or go to the bathroom inside.

I think he's freaking nuts. The bird is huge, like 3 feet tall, and he has to use gloves to handle it because it's claws are sharp. I think it's incredibly dangerous, but he said he's been "friends" with the bird since he was 10. That he just started feeding it one day and it would hang around him. His parents tried to get it to go away but it lived on their roof, eventually they just accepted it.

The bird makes me very uncomfortable. When I'm over at his place it just sort of stares at me, my bf says it's ok because it can tell he likes me. That it's no more dangerous than a dog. He jokingly said "if it wanted to attack you, it would have already", which did NOT help.

The whole thing just seems so weird, I feel like he has to be lying about something. His parents tell the same story he does though. At the very least it seems crazy to keep the bird around, or to let it in the house. Am I over-reacting? Is this a deal breaker or should I just learn to deal with it? My bf is great otherwise.

tl;dr: My bf has an eagle as a "friend" and let's it come into the house. Is this dangerous? Is this crazy or a deal breaker?

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Anytime I read stories like this all I can think of is that scene from 30 Rock where Jon Hamm loses at tennis and gets upset and screams "THIS RACKET IS A FART"

Here's one:

My [23M] girlfriend [23F] says I should be "leading" my family instead of my sister [32F] because I'm a "man". I think this is creepy.

from the comments-
ah ok now I see the creepy

Jenner posted:

quote:

He jokingly said "if it wanted to attack you, it would have already", which did NOT help.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Anytime I read stories like this all I can think of is that scene from 30 Rock where Jon Hamm loses at tennis and gets upset and screams "THIS RACKET IS A FART"

Here's one:

My [23M] girlfriend [23F] says I should be "leading" my family instead of my sister [32F] because I'm a "man". I think this is creepy.

from the comments-
ah ok now I see the creepy

Gaunab posted:

Women can be misogynist.

Gaunab posted:

C-SPAN Caller posted:

The word for it is internalized misogyny which she has in spades lol

C-SPAN Caller posted:

The word for it is internalized misogyny which she has in spades lol

Also I wish there was a followup on the eagle post because I wanna know how the eagle is doing and if the guy is single

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It's been around for 17 years, I don't think it's going anywhere.

C-SPAN Caller posted:

I mean what if it's eagle life is over since they live for like 20 years

Jenner posted:

Nah, dude is a Ranger or a Druid and the eagle is his animal companion.

C-SPAN Caller posted:

How do I find one and date them instead of just lucking into it like this girl did

quote:

Aren't those 3D sonograms just creepy?

I am expecting a new cousin, woohoo I guess? Religious batshit Aunt got a 3D sonogram and posted the results on facebook. Well this would be fine if it didn't look like some sort of demon from hell. It was the same with my first cousin from this nutbag, the child looked like a mutant. So why in the hell are people clamoring going "awww he's so cute" "awww he's adorable". The fact babies look like potatoes aside the 3D sonograms make them look like some sort of Mutant Flesh monster.
Am I alone in this thought?

quote:

My SO and I love Disneyland a lot. So we went for her birthday the other day because it's always beautiful this time of year. We are both CF and even though I don't really like kids at the best of times, I'm not about to poo poo on their good time on the happiest place on earth if they are behaving well. But oh my god. These two little fuckers who sat behind us when we went to the Frozen Show. Now, I understood going in that it wasn't going to be a 100% quiet affair, and I was content with that because 1. It's Disneyland, no way to avoid it, and 2. I really don't like frozen (aside from Sven 💕) and was only seeing the show to cross it off out bucket list.
Anyway, it started with the little boy in the moms lap kicking my seat hard before the show started. I turned around and started at him straight in the eye with my best bitch-you-will-not face. I turned around. AND HE DID IT AGAIN. I went to turn around and the mom apologized, and sent him to sit with his mother. Good. I thought things were done.
But NO she had another little ill-behaved kid. She SHOUTED throughout the entire thing. SHOUTED about people clapping after songs cause "it's not over!", shouted questions to her mom, shouted facts about Elsa, just shouted. I couldn't hear half the drat thing, and couldn't really move due to lack of available seats. I was so pissed off because of her moms half hearted attempts to shush her child. I wouldn't care if she talked quietly or even sparsely, it would have irritated me a little but wouldn't of ruined the entire thing. And after the whole thing was over, the older ladies next to me kept talking about how "cute and funny" she was, and kept looking at me to join in on the praise cause obviously since I'm a girl I would thing the widdle kid was so cute.
I think what bothered me most is the kids lack of manners. My siblings and I never spoke during shows, movie theaters, anything. We understood that it was impolite to ruin it for others. We didn't think our comments had to be heard by everyone. I just really hate it when parents have no social sense to talk to their kids before hand about being respectful. We had a great time anyway. And what's hilarious is while these fussy kids behind us were just plain old rude, there was a full on two year old sitting next to us that was hushed once, never spoke again, and a little girl the same age as the one behind me who sat quietly and respectfully. Some people

quote:

I think I may be experiencing the animal version of "baby fever."
To give you a bit of background, here's my story...
I was raised in a pet-free home for most of my life, mainly due to the fact that my mom is allergic to anything with fur and she doesn't want the house getting stinky or dirty. We did have a cat when I was really little, but ended up having to give it away after a few months.
We haven't had any other pets since then, but I have always wanted one. There was a cat that was hanging around our home back in October for a few weeks. My mom wouldn't let it in the house of course, but I would always go outside to play with it and cuddle it (and even sneak it some lunchmeat when she wasn't looking.) It was seriously the SWEETEST thing, and I could tell it really liked me. It would always come running the second I stuck my head out the door, and she would constantly rub against me. In a bittersweet ending, we ended up having to give her away, but thankfully we found a good home for her. At least I can rest easy knowing she went to a loving family.
But I can't get her off my mind. I really loved that cat, and I can't stop looking at the pictures I took of her on my phone. I just want a pet so bad. It's gotten to the point where I actually become angry and break down in tears whenever I see someone posting a picture of themselves with their animal. Seriously, as stupid as it may sound, I do everything possible to avoid watching shows about people and their relationships with pets, seeing crap on Facebook about it, and reading stories about it, because I know it's just going to reduce me to a hysterical mess.
I can't stop fantasizing about having a pet and cuddling them. I feel like a piece of my soul is missing by not being able to interact with them. Some days it's all I think about.
You know, I've never wanted kids or felt any sort of maternal instincts towards them, but boy is it a different story when it comes to baby animals! I would love to nurture baby animals, and play with grown ones. Maybe it's because I'm lonely, and I've never been able to connect to people, so I feel a greater kinship with animals.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

more /childfree because I am a sucker for punishment


Nah there's nothing at all special for a parent when they see the thing Growing Inside My Body In relative detail. I mean, why would anyone want to share that excitement with others? And why would Humans enjoy celebrating that excitement? I've run all the simulations and it just does not compute.


In the words of Elsa, let it go~


Definitely feeds into our theories about childfree obsessed people being just as bad as the "mombies" and "daddicts", but with animals

Captain Yossarian posted:

I think those sonograms are creepy

Captain Yossarian posted:

I think those sonograms are creepy

Bonzo posted:

Is it that hard to speak to another adult in a calm manner and say, "Excuse me, your child is kicking my seat and making me uncomfortable. Thank you" rather than giving a 4 year old the stink eye?

quote:

My [29M] wife [33F] smells bad.

Jenner posted:

Compromise is all well and good, furniture is expensive and everyone has a style. I have heard it can be difficult to get furniture as a couple because folks can have wildly different style preferences. I guess I got off easy because I mostly liked everything my partner liked.

... except for our loving couch.