Jenner posted:

I don't wanna keep derailing but I'm sorry you had such experiences. I mean that for everyone here who had similar experiences as well. It can be difficult to not feel like it is personal or malicious but people with BPD usually aren't doing their poo poo intentionally. That's why it's so hard to treat. If it was a behavior they were doing on purpose then they would stop it (ideally.) Since they are largely behaviors they are doing unconsciously they just have to be hyper vigilant and catch themselves. (At least, that's my way of dealing with it.) The biggest hurdle for someone with BPD is usually realizing they're being the worst and beginning to work on themselves. Anyway, my apologies if that came off as a lecture. I'm sorry about your experiences.

quote:

My [16F] parents are wealthy. My parents have become the legal guardian of [5M]. My siblings have told him he can't ask for anything from my parents and he believes them.

My cousin Blake has had a rough life, he never told anyone and that's the truly sad thing. He would talk to my mother on the phone, and he never said a word. His parents were sprung because a teacher noticed burns on Blake arm. The police got involved and the rest is history. Blake has been legally living with us for 2 days now.

My parents are his legal guardians. My parents are wealthy and they have spoilt us. They've spoilt Blake with a whole bunch of toys. My siblings are jerks and I can be too, but I know when it's time to be mature. My siblings have no joke, appeared in rich kids of Instagram pictures. I wish I was kidding and I have zero idea how it got there, but theres a picture of my sister and brother.

Last night he wanted to ask them about something. They told him he can't ask for anything. He believes them and he has not asked for anything all day. Like I see him looking at things, he goes to touch them and then stops himself. He does not want to sit on the sofa. He does not want to do anything.

TL;DR: Siblings messed with cousin and now he does not want to touch, eat or sit on anything.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Can we get some happy stories for a change?

Here's one I found in the archives here. The paranormal/conspiracy board was a christmas RSF back in 2008:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3034656

I can copy-paste this if people don't have archives. (PS buy archives)

quote:

Hello there,

It's been some months now that I've moved in with a few friends and a few acquaintances of mine in a house. We are a total of 6 people sharing the same roof. The house is spacious, and in better condition than we have ever hoped. Additionally, I have yet to experience any problem with noise or anything. No annoyingly noisy housemates or anything till now.

Nonetheless, one problem has appeared out of nowhere, and is haunting me for the last month.

One month ago, and out of the blue, a ridiculously fat housemate (mere acquaintance who tagged along), dropped her fatass boyfriend and sent me a text on my mobile phone confessing her eternal love to me. To be honest, I was quite surprised when a metric tron of fat, flesh, and bones told me she loves me. I immediatelly asked her if she was really serious about it... and she said... ''YESS!''...

At this point, I'd like to let you know that her being fat is not the only thing unattractive about her. She also smokes regularly, drinks till she gets shitfaced, and has admitted to have done drugs in the past and not having a problem with doing drugs again.

I immediatelly refused. All the same, she apparently seems to have come to the conclusion that if she insists to the point of obsessiveness... she'll convince me to go with her. Another serious turn off is that while sitting in the lounge, she'll just randomly let out the fact that she is 'horny'. I mean wtf... who let's everyone know that she is horny.

One month, and several repetitions of the word 'NO' later... I still get 'love letters' furtively sneaking into my room, a barrage of stupid facebook comments on everything I do that somehow end up with her telling me how much she adores me, her chasing me around the house to ask me if I want to go out on a date with her.

She is entirely annoying. Yesterday for example, I was trying to play super smash bros brawl with my friends, and she came in the room... sat there holding a book of poetry... and just where everything became critical... she started asking for me to discuss... ROMANTIC POETRY... with her. To be honest, I didn't know what to do, but one of my other housemates, who doesn't like her at all apparently, told her to gently caress off the room lol.

She is also a genuine stalker. She waits for me to wake up every morning, so she can say ''GOOD MORNING' first. If I am heading out, she immediatelly picks her bag and coat and yells ''I AM COMING WITH YOU, I HAVE TO GO OUT TOO''.

I am sick and tired of this situation.

Goons help me, how can I get rid of that person? The only thing I can think of is the tranquiliser bullets used on elephants.

As far as Darfur orphans go, I have no recollection of viewing a documantery where they were chased by live hippos. I am also perfectly sure they don't have enough food to become as fat as that inflated elephant. I know one thing though, if slaughtered, and preserved in salt... THAT WOMAN WOULD BE ABLE TO SUSTAIN AN ENTIRE VILLAGE FOR 20 EFFING DAYS.

cheers

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Can we get some happy stories for a change?

Here's one I found in the archives here. The paranormal/conspiracy board was a christmas RSF back in 2008:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3034656

I can copy-paste this if people don't have archives. (PS buy archives)

Nuebot posted:

I posted briefly about my sister who spent my whole childhood basically making my life hell, endless humiliation and torment. She blamed me for every bad thing that happened to her. Now, 20+ years later she gets diagnosed and its all "I'm sick, it's not my fault". Not a single apology ever. I get that people with BPD are still people, but it's very hard to trust them, to believe that they're not at all like the kind of person experience led me to relate the condition with. I don't think you, or any other BPD sufferer, are monsters. I just find it hard to have sympathy.

Bonzo posted:

I [21 F] want a guinea pig, my boyfriend [21 M] doesn't want one. We live separately. What do I do?

darkwasthenight posted:

REAL TALK: Don't loving do this or you will end up with garlic burns. Burns in your vagina. Don't do this, seriously.

InherentlyEvil posted:

The prelude to this story happened almost two years ago. I met an Australian girl and we promptly fell in love with each other. It was very much the cliché fairy tale romance. Last year for Christmas I took her to meet my family, which went perfectly except that it was her first Christmas away from her own family. It was the only blemish on an otherwise perfect romance.

Her family is extremely important to her, especially her mother. During our time together, she repeatedly mentioned missing her family and wishing that we could go back to Australia to visit. Our plan for this year was to do exactly that. In the interim, we were planning to move in together and I started secretly shopping for an engagement ring. Then disaster struck.

One night, very late, we got a panicked phone call from her father. Her mother had been rushed to the hospital with a brain aneurysm. Immediately, my girlfriend started making arrangements to fly back to Australia to be with her mother and family. She was completely devastated.

I waited for days to hear news. While we weren't yet living together, this was about to happen and I knew that whatever the news about her mother was going to be it could potentially change everything. Eventually, I heard from her. Her mother's condition was extremely serious, but that it had been caught in time. She was in a coma, but the doctors were sure that she would make a full, if extremely lengthy recovery. I knew even before the words were said. My girlfriend decided that she needed to be there for her mother, and that she would be coming back to the states to pack up her life and move back to Australia to be nearby her family.

At this point, my life kicked sideways. Here I had met the girl of my dreams. Without a doubt we were soul mates, but fate clearly had other plans. I started looking at emigration options and at the possibility of selling my recently purchased house. It became apparent very quickly that I wouldn't simply be able to uproot my life and follow her. The local housing market simply wouldn't support the sale of my house, and even if it would, I had owned it for less than two years. If I sold it for market value, I would barely have enough to pay for the airline ticket to Australia.

We knew then that she would have to move back alone and that I may not be able to follow her. In another cruel twist of fate, I was sent on required travel for work during the week that she came back to pack up her things, so I wasn't even able to see her before she left for good. The last time we spoke to each other was over a crappy cell phone connection while she sat at the LAX international terminal waiting for her flight.

This happened approximately 8 months ago and during the interim, we ended our relationship. We ended things not because our feelings for each other were any less, but because we knew that we couldn't maintain an open-ended long distance relationship across the world. Also, the trauma of her mother's situation struck a major blow to my girlfriend and she was deeply depressed; she couldn't continue to put emotional energy into our relationship as well so we decided it would be best to end things romantically but remain friends.

Over the past eight months we stayed in contact, and my heart broke a little more every day. We both considered each other to be our soul mate, and every day apart helped re-affirm this belief for me. I knew I needed to be with her as much as I knew she needed me to be there. Then my own tragedy struck.

My grandmother is 96 and has been living with my parents for the past 8 years. She's a wonderful woman and the first time she met my girlfriend, they instantly built a connection. I received a phone call from my mother telling me that my grandmother had passed overnight and would I fly home for the funeral? I admit that I was very heavily wrapped in my own self pity as I flew home, wondering if this year could deal me any more misery.

The funeral service was small, just our family. Afterwards we sat in my parents' house and told stories about grandma. I spent the next few days taking comfort from my family even while stewing in my own misery and then flew home to resume life. About a week later I got a call from my mother saying that grandma's will had been read and that she had written a letter for me. Should she mail it or just open it and read it. Not knowing what to expect, I asked her to mail it, and forgot about it again until the letter arrived in my mailbox a week later.

The letter, handwritten in my grandmother's simple cursive said simply:

"There are things that you decide and there are things that fate decides. Even when fate decides a thing you can decide not to accept. Make your own decisions; find your own fate."

This was accompanied with a note from her estate lawyer saying that she had left me a substantial sum of money and her own engagement ring. I wasn't rich, but I was now able to cover my mortgage for a year while I went down to Australia to be with my girlfriend, meet her family, spend Christmas with them and propose this New Year's Eve in Sydney Harbour, just as I originally planned to do.

I've found someone to rent my house starting in January. I leave for Australia at the end of the week, with the intention of being through the jet lag before I surprise my girlfriend for Christmas. Her parents already know I'm coming and are keeping the secret. I really don't know what to expect from there. I know the shock will be pretty intense for her. I'm hoping she'll get over the shock by New Year's Even when I ask her to decide our fate.

quote:

Due to previous long-distance dating, this is the first Christmas my husband and I will be able to spend together (we just got married earlier this year, my family lives 1000 miles away). We are both strongly childfree and are probably more accurately described as anti-natalist, I think at most people should have 1 or 2 kids but probably not any.

His family is pretty different from us, specifically his sister who is about to have her fourth kid. His whole family usually does a big family dinner at his parents' house. This year, due to health issues, his parents have decided they can't host. The sister is having a scheduled c-section (which I also don't agree with) next week so she feels like she can't host either.

My husband and I agreed that we would be willing to host Christmas Eve dinner, but the kids are not invited. I have no interest in having four children running and screaming and crying and pooping in my house.

I suggested to his sister that if she wants to attend Christmas Eve dinner she could simply hire a babysitter, and she hung up on me. Now my husband is asking me to not only apologize to his sister, but to relax my beliefs about children for one night and let them all come over. I feel that I have already made a big enough sacrifice for him by moving to where he lives for the sake of our relationship, and I don't think what he's asking is a reasonable request.

Just like you can't compromise on having children, I don't see how you can compromise on having children in your house; you can't have half a kid over. I know I'm being a hardass but I think it's important to stand up for myself on this issue and set a precedent before anyone thinks I'm going to be having these kids over regularly. They simply are unwelcome in my home.

How can my husband and I resolve this? Are there any creative solutions that will let both of us have our way?

tl;dr: Husband wants to invite his 4 niblings over for Christmas Eve dinner, and I don't. How to come to an arrangement that everyone can be happy with?

The Snoo posted:

e: also idk much about your situation but why didn't your parents do anything? mine at least tried to deal with my exxxtreme self harm and stuff and put up with taking me to therapy and my several hospital stays. I'm a million times better now but I'll always be unlearning bad behaviors and trying to keep my emotions under control. I have a lot more than just BPD but it all kinda mixes up into a giant anxious mess lol

quote:

My[23M] GF[24F] destroyed my stash of drugs. Wtf?
I like to take drugs on occasion. My girlfriend knew a bit about this coming into the relationship, but I obviously didn't tell her the full details until a little bit into the relationship.

She said she had never done anything drugs, but was ok, although uncomfortable with me using drugs. I promised not to them around her if that would make her feel better and she agreed.

We've been together about a year now and well, recently she watched a documentary or something and has become very anti-drug. She keeps telling me that I need to quit using. Recently, she got into my stash and threw everything out before I got home. That was like $250 worth of stuff.
She's also been giving me "ultimatums" and saying things like "if you really loved me, you'd stop using".

I feel like its coming down to me having to pick between drugs and her, and to be honest, I'm gonna pick the drugs.

What I want to ask Reddit though, is that do you guys think there is anyway to fix this, or should I just go through and break up with her quickly?

tl;dr: gf has become anti drugs, i like drugs, time to break up?

quote:

Hello reddit. I write to you in the hope of discovering a fresh perspective. I have been dating a girl for a year now, and I feel I need to resolve this issue before I fully commit to our relationship for the long term. Or dont commit, break up, and save her heartache and time.

Relevant context (Trying my hardest not to turn this into a blog):

The girl in question has physical flaws I find seriously offputting. She is skinny to a fault, her frame mostly devoid of muscle or fat. Butt, particularly. She has horrible posture: winging of the scapulae, head sticking far out. Her mobility is limited - in the sense that she has poor range of motion in most joints. She can not touch her fingers to her toes without great effort. To be fair, I find her quite pretty.
I have thus far looked past these flaws because I genuinely enjoy her company. She is intelligent and well read. Shares my interest in long hikes and combat sports. Also tolerates my sociopolitical views, and did not balk when I communicated my desire to have at least three children.

We get along famously and I get a tingle in my stomach when I see her. She has confessed love for me - we spent a wonderful week in Paris, France.

My standards are set rather high (I suppose). A decade-and-a-half of weightlifting, sports, and a strict diet is evident in my physique. I worked as a weightlifting coach for years, alongside college and while I was starting my career. Women paid me to look at their butts (I was instructing movement patterns largely focused around the hip joint. Butt-looking is integral). By coincidence (I suppose), I exclusively dated women with back squat 5RMs greater than 80kg for the last 8 years.

The physical flaws mentioned above are not permanent or absolute, but require years of hard work to correct. Posture can be fixed. Butts can be built. Stretches will increase mobility. I believe her possessed of the discipline necessary to perform the work, yet she lacks motivation - I do not believe she perceives these flaws as flaws.

Summarized, my plight is this:

I have found a girl I could spend my life with, happily - if she fixed (near-trivial) physical aspects.
Current plan for resolution:

I have not communicated my plight (clearly) to my girlfriend. Nor do intend too, for now (thus the throwaway, for instance). I opt for gentle encouragement - genuinely gentle, I abhor passive-aggressiveness.

I have repeatedly offered to strength-train my girlfriend. She has repeatedly refused this, stating that she believes it will negatively affect her BJJ (which is of course bullcrap). She is not interested in joining my weightlifting sessions at the gym.

I will continue to date my girlfriend but if she has not started progress on fixing these flaws within the next 8 months, I will give up on her.

Please share with me your thoughts on this, /r/relationships.

tl;dr: I prefer strong women and my girlfriend is weaker than she could be. How can I convince her to get stronger? Should I try to convince her to get stronger?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol we interrupt this sweet story to bring you more reddit:

scrubs season six posted:

I hope all the responses to this were "why are you such a massive oval office?"

quote:

Just like you can't compromise on having children, I don't see how you can compromise on having children in your house; you can't have half a kid over. I know I'm being a hardass but I think it's important to stand up for myself on this issue and set a precedent before anyone thinks I'm going to be having these kids over regularly. They simply are unwelcome in my home.

quote:

tl;dr: Husband wants to invite his 4 niblings over for Christmas Eve dinner, and I don't. How to come to an arrangement that everyone can be happy with?

quote:

My[23M] GF[24F] destroyed my stash of drugs. Wtf?

quote:

I [30 M] want my girlfriend [25 F] to be physically stronger. (Have a bigger butt.)

quote:

I didn't originally expect to post a follow-up to this story, but then I didn't realize the story was going to resonate with so many people here. As a result, I'm taking some time now here in the early, early morning to follow-up. Think of it as my Christmas present to those of you who have been so wonderful and supportive;a second chapter to the story if you will.

The flights were miserable. I live in the mid-west in a non-hub city so even getting to San Francisco to make the big hop across the ocean was an ordeal. Of course this is the worst season to travel and weather across the country wasn't cooperating much. Needless to say, I was feeling decidedly un-jolly by the time I got to San Francisco. From there I had an intentionally long layover so I could see my parents and pick up the ring from the jewelers where I had had it cleaned and one of the diamonds remounted. When I saw that ring, everything came back to me: where I was going, what I was going to do, what I might be giving up to take this chance. It was a lot to wrap my head around and I'm glad I had a quiet evening with my parents to help digest it.

The flight to Australia was much better than I expected. Yes, its unbelievably long and I'm 6'5" so I don't fly well to begin with. Even so, Quantas flies nice planes and as soon as I heard the stewardess speaking with an Aussie accent, I did my own personal tribute to Pavlov's experiment. The only other thing I can say about the flight is "thank god for Ambien".

Arriving in Sydney is a weird experience. It's just close enough to San Francisco to feel familiar, and just foreign enough to be unsettling. The weather, however, during the "winter" months is gorgeous. It definitely didn't feel like Christmas, but then I was so jet lagged and emotionally wrought that the only thing I can say I really felt was numb. I caught a cab to my hotel, got checked in and immediately felt the need to go wander around. My mind was completely exhausted but my body was wide awake so I went on auto pilot for a little while, buying some last-minute Christmas presents for my girlfriend's family.

Since I wasn't going to present her with the ring on Christmas, I had already bought her a Swarovski necklace and pair of earrings. Shopping for the rest of her family was difficult because I didn't know exactly what they were like, nor could I ask her. For that reason, I waited until I got to Sydney to do any shopping for them, hoping that something would just strike me. I remembered that my girlfriend would constantly buy cashmere items for her folks, so I started there. In retrospect, I wish I had done the shopping at home because the price of cashmere anything over here is ungodly. The shopping cost more than I expected, but it was fun and put me back into the Christmas spirit just in time my body to hit a wall. Somehow I found my way back to the hotel.

The next few days were spent very close to the hotel. I've never experienced anything like this jet lag. For a few days it felt like a pressure mask settled over my face and wore me down. I sent an email to my girlfriend's father letting him know I had arrived and making sure that our secret was intact. He replied saying that she suspected nothing and had been very distant as the holiday approached. She'd talked to her mother about how much she missed me. I knew then and there that I made the right call by coming here. All my doubts and questions about how we'd make this work went out the window. Waiting for Christmas Day to arrive was excrutiating.

I don't think I slept at all Christmas Eve. I was naive to think that the jet lag would be gone in just a few short days. That, coupled with the excitement was almost too much to handle. The email from her dad suggested I show up at 8:30am, but they lived quite a ways away from my hotel so I had no idea how much time to allow for the trip. As it turned out, the cab I called for arrived late, and I still got there 20 minutes early. I had the cab stop several houses past hers because I didn't want to blow the surprise. Then I tried not to look like a creepy stranger in her neighborhood while I tried to kill 20 minutes. I managed to last 12 before I couldn't stand the wait and fought my way through the most gigantic privacy hedge ever to get to their front door.

It's hard to describe exacty what happened next because my emotions were completely redlined. I've gotten accounts from various members of her extended family, all of whom I've now met so that I could get a clear enough picture of what happened.

Around the time I knocked on the door, her family, including several visiting aunts, uncles and cousins, were all up, and apparently most were aware of what was going on. My girlfriend was not yet out of her room when I knocked on the door, so the big reveal I was expecting when the front door opened didn't happen. Instead, a man I vaguely recognized from pictures as her father (and hopefully my future father-in-law) opened the door, pulled me inside and quickly appraised me of the situation in whispered tones. Apparently there was a brief debate amongst the family on whether I should knock on her bedroom door and surprise her there, or if I should wait for her to emerge. I opted for the latter and was strategically located on a couch that wouldn't be immediately visible when she emerged. As soon as I was seated, her mom started calling her saying that she was needed in the front room. The entire time, I did nothing but notice, and keep noticing a flurry of approving nods and smiles from all of these people I had yet to officially meet, all of whom knew who I was, what my mission was and who were apparently pulling for me.

I heard the bedroom door open and held my breath. At this point, I was running entirely on auto-pilot because my plan of walking through the front door and surprising her was already shot. Instead I watched as she walked into the room, still wearing jammies and her hair sticking up, and turned entirely away from me to ask what the fuss was all about. Knowing my cue, I stood up, now fully behind her, and said, "I fly all this way and I don't even get a 'good morning'?"

For those of you hopeless romantics out there, I can safely tell you that there is no reaction more priceless than the one I got as she turned around. The way I remember it, she looked as though she'd been punched in the stomach unexpectedly and was trying desperately to draw breath. Two quick steps and I had my arms wrapped around her for what I expected to be a passionate embrace but turned out to be a lot more of me physically holding her up. And there were tears. So many tears. I'm even confident enough in my manhood to say that I cried too. Right there, in the home of people I hadn't officially met, I cried like a little girl with a skinned knee. We stood there for probably a good 10 minutes just holding each other, ignoring everyone and everything, tears streaming down our cheeks.

Everything past that moment was anti-climactic. It took her a few hours for everything to fully settle in. We had breakfast and opened presents. I met her family, all of whom are completely great. I almost slipped up and proposed right there. In retrospect, I'm glad I waited. She assumes that this is just a visit, she hasn't yet realized that I may never leave. We spent the entire rest of the day never more than arms' reach away from each other. I can safely say that this Christmas is one that we'll never forget.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

wait I wanna interrupt, too

I [30 M] want my girlfriend [25 F] to be physically stronger. (Have a bigger butt.)

quote:

Thanks again for those of you who have been following this thread, and thank you again for all your support. It's been very much appreciated.

These past few days have been like a fairy tale. My girlfriend has taken some time to show me all around Sydney, and walking hand-in-hand with her as she shows me some new part of her city has been completely wonderful. Sydney reminds me so much of San Francisco, except that the landmarks and the accents are different. If I close my eyes, I almost forget where I am.

The original plan for New Years' Eve was for her to attend the Army, Navy, Air Force party on an island in the middle of Sydney Harbor with a 360 degree view of the fireworks. Naturally, I was quickly invited, but I suggested that we take a few hours in advance to have a picnic near the harbor.

I was extremely nervous as we sat down, enjoying a gorgeous day. She commented that she couldn't believe that I was really and truly there, and what a great surprise it was for me to have showed up. In the past few days, she's made comments trying to figure out how long I'm staying, comments that I've deftly avoided.

I told her that this was the best Christmas that I could have imagined and that being with her was everything that I had ever hoped for. As if following a script, she closed her eyes and I took the opportunity to prop myself up on a knee. As her eyes opened, I reached into my pocket where I'd been keeping the ring. I took the ring out of its box in the morning and carried the ring by itself in my pocket all day. I kept checking the ring all day, and I was sure that she'd noticed.

I told her that I respected and admired the decision to move back home and be supportive of her family. I told her that I wished I'd been able to come with her immediately when she moved back and that I regretted the time we'd spent apart. I noticed her eyes opening and I took the ring out and held it in my hand. I took her hand and told her that I couldn't imagine a life without her in it and that I would stay as long as she would have me.

I know that I said that the reaction on Christmas day was priceless but this one topped it. Her eyes were wider than your average dinner plates, and I don't know if every guy has the same experience sliding the ring on his new fiance's finger, but mine was a moment of sheer emotional bliss. Again there were tears, hers and mine. She said "yes" (of course) and the rest of the picnic was basically forgotten.

I can't really remember the rest of the night except to say that the kiss at midnight was everything I'd hoped it would be and so much more. I'm looking forward to many more in the coming years.

Thanks to all of you for your support. For those of you hopeless romantics out there, all I can say is to take a chance. I can't promise that everything will go as advertised, but the chance is well worth the risk. Have a happy new year.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol we interrupt this sweet story to bring you more reddit:

quote:

His family is pretty different from us, specifically his sister who is about to have her fourth kid. His whole family usually does a big family dinner at his parents' house. This year, due to health issues, his parents have decided they can't host. The sister is having a scheduled c-section (which I also don't agree with) next week so she feels like she can't host either.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

wait I wanna interrupt, too

I [30 M] want my girlfriend [25 F] to be physically stronger. (Have a bigger butt.)


Also tolerates my sociopolitical views, and did not balk when I communicated my desire to have at least three children.

haljordan posted:

Why would you disagree with a c-section?!

Antivehicular posted:

Some people consider scheduled c-sections to be a "lazy" option for childbirth, because you're not delivering vaginally, I guess? (I would hardly call having abdominal surgery to take a baby out "lazy," but whatevs.) This is almost always an opinion I've seen voiced by crunchy granola mommy-blogger types, which makes it confusing coming from the other end of the spectrum, but I guess this woman is so insufferable that she has to disapprove of everything she possibly can.

quote:

I [25F] have never seen my bf's [27M] butt. Dating 3 years.

Pretty much what the title says.

I'm not trolling, serious replies only.

Dating for 3 years, have lived together for 2. During this entire time I have actually only seen his butt once when we were in missionary and there was a mirror on one side so I got a glimpse. This was very early on in our relationship I had no idea it would become such an issue. (First 2 weeks of us dating)

Since the mirror incident I have literally never seen it. Every time we have sex he is very careful about getting out of bed or putting on underwear in such a way that his butt is not in view. Once I saw it through a shower curtain and he was annoyed.

He's in shape so he has a nice butt. ( I would imagine based off of that one time 3 years ago)

I have asked about it only a couple of times, and I have expressed that it bothers me. When I do bring it up he acts like I am crazy and that I have seen his butt. I don't want to push the issue because I think there is an underlying problem.

He had a really hard time growing up. Very unstable environment. I am concerned he was sexually abused. I have gently asked if something had happened to him and that's why he doesn't like to expose his backside. He acted insulted that I would even think that.

He does allow me to be big spoon sometimes or to lay behind him and rub his back. One time recently I accidentally touched his butt with my knee, kind of in the center, and he jumped and got very angry with me. I told him I was just moving closer and he dropped it but was still upset the rest of the day.

My only other thought is that it is possibly a cosmetic issue. He sometimes get a weird rash and also it is kind of hairy, but not in an irregular way.

I am really concerned about him. I feel like if something did happen then I would hope that he talks to a therapist. I am at the point that I don't know what to do. I don't want to push the issue but I don't think his behavior is healthy. What can I do to help him? How can I approach this issue with him in a constructive manner? I know that this isn't my problem and the real issue is not about me seeing his derrière and more about getting him help if he was sexually abused as a child. (I know for a fact that he has never spoke to a professional about his life/childhood)

tl;dr: I have never seen my boyfriend's butt. I am concerned that he was abused as a child and I would like for him to see a therapist. Don't know how to approach this with him.

EDIT: Hey everyone! I know it's super weird! He is not into showering together, I have tried, and he will kick me out of the bathroom or get out of the shower. When he changes he ALWAYS changes facing me. And I have asked probably 6 times in 3 years but his response is so negative I have no idea what else to do

Antivehicular posted:

Some people consider scheduled c-sections to be a "lazy" option for childbirth, because you're not delivering vaginally, I guess? (I would hardly call having abdominal surgery to take a baby out "lazy," but whatevs.) This is almost always an opinion I've seen voiced by crunchy granola mommy-blogger types, which makes it confusing coming from the other end of the spectrum, but I guess this woman is so insufferable that she has to disapprove of everything she possibly can.

quote:

Your kid isn't cute he's trying to steal from me

So I work the desk at a museum where people pay me for admissions and I give them a sticker for the day. The sticker is worn so security can tell if someone walking around has paid or not. It was early on a Sunday and I was trying to get through the morning rush as a family lurked to the side of my desk (they were being helped by my coworker who's register was perpendicular to mine).

As I'm trying to work my way through the long line of people in front of me this little boy starts leaning over the side of my workspace. I'm annoyed but I know that it's not something to get worked up over because they will be gone in a few minutes. But this kid just leans over further and further until finally his whole torso is basically laying on my desk. I don't know what's happening but its very annoying and the parents are clearly right behind him and yet they haven't done anything. Think to myself, 'whatever' and make sure not to give this kid the attention he wants. He's not done though, he still needs my attention so he reaches out to grab one of my rolls of stickers thinking he's being subtle or cute.

Immediately I snatch the roll out of his hand and give him a strong warning of "don't touch that" with zero empathy or acknowledgment of the cute little game he thought he was playing.

Of course he sprung backwards knowing he was up to no good and just got reprimanded. I turned back to finish with the customers without even bothering to see what the parents reaction was. I'm sure they thought I would find their child's antics humorous but gently caress that noise, seriously. I'm trying to do my goddamn job and get through a stressful morning and I don't have time to be policing my desk from children.

I hope those parents were embarrassed but I'm sure they just thought I was being a Grinch. Teach your kid to respect boundaries. I'm glad I denied him the attention he wanted and shut him down. He was definitely not expecting me to react as firmly and coldly as I was. Hopefully that was enough to teach him a lesson about respecting boundaries. A basic lesson that his parents should have already taught him.

quote:

They probably aren't going to think it's cute when Bratleigh gets arrested for shoplifting.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol we interrupt this sweet story to bring you more reddit:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol we interrupt this sweet story to bring you more reddit:

Gaunab posted:

loquacius posted:

Is this lady the villain from an English children's movie or something

also is she autistic because I can't think of another reason you would suggest someone leave their children with a babysitter on Christmas Eve and think it's a reasonable thing to say

like, even if you WERE the worst parent ever and decided to give that a go, what babysitter would even agree to this

e: "Christmas is a time for family togetherness. Except for the kids, they shouldn't exist so they don't count. Also they just poop constantly from birth until age 18; I fervently believe this."

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

lol we interrupt this sweet story to bring you more reddit:

THE PWNER posted:

childfree people are loving moronic

plenty of people don't want to have children without turning it intot some weird obsession like this

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

That one was actually on plain-old relationships reddit for what it's worth.