/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

I [24F] am thinking of catfishing my best friend [30F]'s fiance [27M]

quote:

So I know this is a crazy idea, and I know it goes against the principles of this sub to mettle in other peoples' business. But I really believe my friend Rhea and her boyfriend Jason should NOT get married, and I'm pretty sure I could get him to respond to a catfish.

They've been together 6 years now, and Jason recently just popped the question after she basically gave him an ultimatum. The proposal wasn't all that romantic, and he didn't buy her a ring but rather got one from his great aunt that's not particularly nice. I know this because Rhea called me and was very sad that he hadn't put more planning into the proposal or the ring (she's one of the types of people who is really into material things). But overall she's happy to get married, because she's latched on to Jason from day 1.

I personally have nothing against him, but I don't think he'll make my best friend happy. Over the years Rhea has confessed to me that she doesn't think he's capable of loving her in the way she wants to be loved. She confessed that if she pursued her dream profession, she would have to move to another state and is 100% sure their relationship would be over. He doesn't spend very much time with her, he's either working or out with his friends and wants a "guys night" without her. She even contemplated cheating on him with a 19-year-old when he was on a business trip. Glad I talked her out of that one. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I can see they don't make each other happy.

Would it be THAT wrong for me to catfish Jason? I've never done it before but I know I can, he would fall for any girl that showed even the least bit attention in him. I could remain completely anonymous, and if things got steamy between him and the catfish, I could let my friend know immediately and without knowing it was me who did it. Big note, I am not at all attracted to her fiance, I have my own fiance, I just want her to see what I see, which is how bad they are for each other. We've talked about it before, but she is DEAD SET on marrying him and won't see reason why she shouldn't.

tl;dr: I don't think my best friend and her fiance are good together, but talking about it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Would it be so bad to catfish him?

I enjoy everything I read about catfishing it's just such a ridiculous concept to me

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:10

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:58

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

The Lobotomy Kid posted:

[17?]

Little bro got punched in the junk so hard he is now effectively intersex.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:11

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [24F] am thinking of catfishing my best friend [30F]'s fiance [27M]
I enjoy everything I read about catfishing it's just such a ridiculous concept to me

Please tell me all of the comments are telling her not to and that she's a crazy person.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:12

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

One more post and I'll stop

"Hey, how cold is it outside, am I gonna need to wear a jacket?"
"It's 26 degrees."
"I don't understand, how cold is that compared to the temperature water boils at :confused:

"

like, this is equivalent to saying you can't understand when times are given in AM/PM format instead of military time. If you can't tell whether it's 2 o'clock in the morning or the afternoon, you have some sensory issues or just woke up from a coma, and if you need to compare the temperature of your neighborhood to the boiling point of water to understand it you are some kind of alien or something. In short, none of this matters

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [24F] am thinking of catfishing my best friend [30F]'s fiance [27M]
I enjoy everything I read about catfishing it's just such a ridiculous concept to me

why would you jump straight to trying to catfish the fiance instead of trying "talk to her about the doubts you have about her relationship" first

I mean, aside from the obvious reason of "she really wants an excuse to do dumb spy poo poo and fake-seduce someone online while telling herself it's for a good cause"

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:13

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

Trigger Warning: Depressing.

Younger brother [13M] has a concussion and I [15M] have a head cold. They're letting him stay home but making me go to school

quote:

Brother has a concussion and I have a head cold. My parents are letting him stay home and letting him rest, but they're making me go to school. How is this fair?
TL;DR: Parents are making me go to school but brother gets to stay home

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:25

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

A head cold is way less serious than a concussion, so no poo poo?

Also I'm not sure how that story is depressing unless you left out that the 13 year old got the concussion from being beat by his parents or something.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:30

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Hmm, my brother has a head injury that could lead to permanent cognitive impairments, hearing loss, issues of perception, and memory loss. If he hits his head and gets a concussion again, the effects could be magnified and could lead to significant life-long impairments. Doctors say he should have no screen time for at least a week, probably longer. My nose is runny.

Why are they taking his head problems more seriously? God!

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:33

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Bonster posted:

Hmm, my brother has a head injury that could lead to permanent cognitive impairments, hearing loss, issues of perception, and memory loss. If he hits his head and gets a concussion again, the effects could be magnified and could lead to significant life-long impairments. Doctors say he should have no screen time for at least a week, probably longer. My nose is runny.

Why are they taking his head problems more seriously? God!

The kid is 15, he does not think like this.

Also, that story was dumb, what's going on with catfish wannabe lady?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:36

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

MF_James posted:

The kid is 15, he does not think like this.

Also, that story was dumb, what's going on with catfish wannabe lady?

At 15 I can tell you that I knew concussions were a serious head injury.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:37

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

leveraging your sibling's pain/disabilities to try and get something out of it is like 90% of being an older brother, cmon you guys

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:44

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Bonster posted:

At 15 I can tell you that I knew concussions were a serious head injury.

I live in a hockey town so I don't think I understood how serious they were Until recently since people had them all the time

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:47

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

lemonslol posted:

In his defense, I would probably break up with her too. Why can't she learn celsius, instead of using moon units for temperature?

They're Moon Units because they landed us on the moon, shitlord. :911:

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:50

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Bonster posted:

At 15 I can tell you that I knew concussions were a serious head injury.

Congratulations you may have been smarter than like 80% of kids at that age, or you could be mis-remembering.

Kids do not understand the severity of things the same way (some) adults do, news at 11

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:51

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

WampaLord posted:

Also I'm not sure how that story is depressing unless you left out that the 13 year old got the concussion from being beat by his parents or something.

Its almost like I was joking on this comedy forum.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:57

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

My charitable assumption is that Head Cold Kid is loving miserable and not inclined to consider the relative medical severity of his situation vs. his brother's. Going to school with a bad cold does suck pretty bad, even if the cold isn't technically bad enough to keep you home.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:58

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

We're all dumb as kids, but 15 is pretty drat old to not know that concussions are bad, even just as some vague kind of head injury.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 19:59

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Everyone in this story is probably fat

quote:

We [30s M+F] want to have sex with a couple we know and love [30s M+F]. Need advice on how not to gently caress it up.

OK. So, a disclaimer here is that I am WELL AWARE of /r/polyamory, /r/swingers, /r/nonmonogamy, and all of the wonderful resources Reddit can provide me to assist with the situation I am about to describe. I'm soliciting help from them as well, but I am posting here on purpose to get advice from regular type folks. This community has never once failed me and I have a tremendous amount of faith in your collective stalwart wisdom.

OKAY. Here we go.

Background and context: I'm in a long and happy marriage. My partner and I are traditionally monogamous. However, I am bisexual, and my partner is more or less of the mindset "if it feels good, do it" and has expressed openness toward the idea of same sex activities in the past.

We have a pair of couple friends who are also married - for what it's worth, one of them is also bisexual. We are very, very close with these friends, we've known them for 15 years. One of us officiated their wedding, one of them officiated our wedding. The four of us regularly say "I love you" to the others. We talk very frankly about sex things with them ALL THE TIME. In the past, the four of us have occasionally slept cuddled in the same bed. Breasts have made an appearance. We actually pretty much already share many emotional and physical aspects of a romantic relationship with these people except for pee-pees touching (so far).

Now, we have a tradition where we spend Christmas with these two, and these two only. We turn Christmas into a multi-day extravaganza of food, drink, various intoxicants, activities, relaxation and togetherness. We are coming up on year 10 of this tradition and we love it. All four of us get super excited every year and get way into the planning.

The issue at hand: WE WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. Ahem. Okay. Well, basically, we are 100% NOT interested in "the lifestyle," becoming swingers, soliciting strange couples to engage sexually, or anything like that. We are purely, and only, interested in having sex with this particular couple sometimes. And we don't want to like, live communally with them or anything. We just love spending time with them and having an awesome time together, and we feel like introducing some casual sexy time into our adventures a couple of times a year would be incredibly fun and rewarding. We don't want to exploit them or anything, we really love them and we feel what I'll refer to as physical love for them also. (If you want to understand more about this situation, google "We have sex with our friends" to find a really good article that resonated with me a lot.)

Lest you think we are just creeping on them, I honestly believe the thought has crossed their minds as well. In fact a few years ago we thought they were going to proposition us (this was before we realized that we'd be happy if that happened).

Now, obviously I care about these people a lot, and I'm not an idiot, so I have thought long and hard about whether such a proposition would interrupt our relationship with them or make them uncomfortable in any way. I am certain that even if they didn't want to have sex with us, that they would not cut us out or anything. We have been through some poo poo with these people and hung on for all of it, a little propositioning isn't going to make them dump us.

So... basically, I need some advice. I know I need a proper question, so I am going to select: "If you had some friends you weren't opposed to getting into a sexual relationship with, how would you like to be propositioned?" But obviously I have never been in this situation before, so feel free to comment on any aspect of what's happening (to include calling me an idiot for considering this, if you must). I'm also not the best seduction expert you've ever seen, and I have been married for a long time, so idk wtf I'm doing anymore. Is this something I should bring up frankly over brunch mimosas, or should I just wait until midnight when everyone is loving drunk and take off my pants? (Kidding. Sort of.)

tl;dr: We want to broach the topic of having sex with our dear friends from time to time, and we want to go about it in a non-stupid way.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

you called them "pee-pees", it's too late to be non-stupid in any capacity, it's clearly systemic

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:19

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Gaunab posted:

Everyone in this story is probably fat

oh please oh please post responses to this one.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:21

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

They should definitely wait until everyone is super drunk for maximum weirdness and maximum potential regret. Nothing says "I don't want to take advantage of you" like taking advantage of people when they are inebriated.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:22

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Honestly that's the healthiest version of that story possible. No one is proposing 4 ways with lesbians, as long as they discuss everything ahead of time I don't see any problems with it.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [24F] am thinking of catfishing my best friend [30F]'s fiance [27M]
I enjoy everything I read about catfishing it's just such a ridiculous concept to me

I personally have nothing against the guy, I just want to enact an elaborate scheme to ruin his long-term relationship. Because I care about his fianc�e. As a friend. Totally.

Also gently caress dat scandalous ho. She's using a dude that's totally stuck on her as a dumping ground for her emotional garbage related to her SO. "I want to cheat on him sooo bad (but not with you, you desperate puppy). I wish someone (that wasn't you) would rescue me from this terrible man."

Who does this? "sorry babe, I'd marry you, but this proposal was pretty weak and your great auntie's ring that gave her dear mother a glimmer of hope through Nazi prison camp until she was reunited with her husband after the war isn't even close to impressive enough. Go back and plan a better proposal and bring a fuckin rock this time or no wedding, rear end in a top hat."

I've been the emotional punching bag in this scenario before (yes I was a Nice Guy) and it is terrible. The couple argued all the time and then hate-hosed and never really worked any problems out with each other. The lady didn't need to work stuff out, she had me to listen to her vent about every little detail of her relationship so she could be content until she got pissed again.

Lol at the catfishing master plan. The worst thing I did to sabotage my couple was to encourage m'lady to break up with her beau, or to talk to him about poo poo and maybe try counseling, because if he was as lovely as she said, that would end it quickly. I eventually got to know her boyfriend and "surprise," he wasn't actually a non-stop rear end in a top hat parade. Then he started bitching to me about his girlfriend in the same manner and they continued blissfully hate-loving.I didn't realize I was their relationship counselor until well after the fact.

Oh to be 20 again...

E: I don't want to sound blameless here. I totally wanted to bone that chick the whole time.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Dec 13, 2016

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:23

Themata: Dec 10, 2011; If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt

Pick posted:

you called them "pee-pees", it's too late to be non-stupid in any capacity, it's clearly systemic

Agreed. Everyone knows 'weenies' is the proper term. :colbert:

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:25

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

WampaLord posted:

Honestly that's the healthiest version of that story possible. No one is proposing 4 ways with lesbians, as long as they discuss everything ahead of time I don't see any problems with it.

I agree, I just don't like this line "We don't want to exploit them or anything..." paired with this line "...or should I just wait until midnight when everyone is loving drunk and take off my pants? (Kidding. Sort of.)"

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:26

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

I love laughing at cowards who walk outside in 85F weather and complain it's hot

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

like I am normally not on the shame train, but I can smell that foursome from here, and there is an at least 70% probability one of the two women involved wears polka dots and lipstick in alarming colors

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

pee-pees. jesus christ.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:35

Apprentice Dick: Dec 1, 2009

Pick posted:

like I am normally not on the shame train, but I can smell that foursome from here, and there is an at least 70% probability one of the two women involved wears polka dots and lipstick in alarming colors

I'm picturing two men with metal t-shirts and greasy hair with two large women for some reason.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:43

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

I pictured two really hot guys going down on each other while their wives look on bored &depressed.

But yeah no way the dudes are good looking, Pick's right and I bet the dude who wrote the post thinks his "comedy" makes up for his poorly trimmed facial hair and rampant backne.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:45

curlingiron: Dec 15, 2006; b l o o p

Pvt.Scott posted:

Oh to be 20 again...

Not to interrupt your reminiscences, but the poster is also a (presumably straight since she mentioned a fiance) woman, not a Nice Guy Waiting in the Wings.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:50

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pick posted:

pee-pees. jesus christ.

You're really freaking out over a jokey word choice. The dude knows his audience, you have to write for Reddit with a more juvenile tone.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 20:51

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

It's always the most obnoxious, attention seeking people who are so overt about sex, monstrously fat or otherwise

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

curlingiron posted:

Not to interrupt your reminiscences, but the poster is also a (presumably straight since she mentioned a fiance) woman, not a Nice Guy Waiting in the Wings.

Eh, that's what I get for skimming.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:24

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Breasts have made an appearance!

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:25

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

we have breastsign

fondle softly, without rhythm

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:29

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Breasts have made an appearance!

- My thoughts upon browsing GBS today

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:31

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

WampaLord posted:

You're really freaking out over a jokey word choice. The dude knows his audience, you have to write for Reddit with a more juvenile tone.

I thought that was TVIV.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 21:52

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jeff summary: I hate my girlfriend because she is extremely sexy and kind

quote:

OK, so I'm a 32M with a 28F girlfriend. I've actually known her for almost 10 years. Our first date ever was about 10 years ago and we've been in touch on/off for the past decade. Finally, about 9 months ago we started dating.

But my girlfriend is TOO nice. Holy crap. For instance, she insists on asking Uber drivers how their day is going, asking them questions about their life, etc. Sometimes I just don't feel like talking to people so I sit there in silence while she speaks to them. We made a stop last night in our Uber to buy beer from the store, and she picked up a water bottle for him. I think that's just unnecessary and too much.

When she dines out or goes out for a drink, she makes sure to converse with every server or bartender that helps her, and tips them at least 50%. She grew up really poor and is now thriving. She basically built her own company 2 years ago and now makes really good money but she still has an "I was poor" attitude from when she lived in really tiny apartments and barely had $5, so she says it's important to treat everybody with respect and kindness. I get it, she's an angel, but she doesn't need to go THAT far.

She'll make conversation with literally anybody, offer to have meetings with people's college-age kids to discuss job opportunities in her company, go above and beyond for all of her friends and family, etc.

Another thing I dislike is that she is really, really attractive. Really beautiful, as in model status. But then she's super nice to all these random people and men think she's interested in them all the time, when really she's just a sweet person. So she always gets into weird situations of dudes being too persistent and creepy with her. Sometimes she'll give them her number and vice versa because they mention that they have questions about her industry, or something else. She's not being malicious or anything when she does this, and she's very transparent. She leaves her phone around and has no problem with me picking it up to use her apps or whatever. She is just TOO. drat. SWEET!

She is a great girlfriend. She remembers things I've mentioned randomly in conversation. For example, off-handedly I said I liked a particular beer that was really hard to find, and the next time she came over, she surprised me with it. She does nice things like buy treats and toys for my dog, books me massages when I mention I'm tired, etc. I love that about her. But sometimes it annoys me to date someone so kind.

Also her family is still really poor so she just bought them a house and goes above and beyond with her family too. She speaks to them everyday and I think that's weird for an almost 29 year old woman.

Is it crazy for me to think that I don't want to date her anymore???

tldr; girlfriend is too drat nice, I'm annoyed, is this worth it?

# ? Dec 13, 2016 22:34

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeff summary: I hate my girlfriend because she is extremely sexy and kind

Plot twist: The girlfriend wrote this post to mock her boyfriend.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 22:37

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# ? May 30, 2024 15:58

100 degrees Calcium: Jan 23, 2011

Congratulations to that girl when the dude dumps her and she easily finds someone who will appreciate her.

# ? Dec 13, 2016 22:37

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