/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

54 40 or gently caress posted:

This is old and legal advice but..

and the update:

I repeat.

Jesus gently caress. How insane can people be? Her shitbag ex even did it again after getting caught the first time and now her daughter is hosed for life. What kills me most is the daughter fled to a police station. Poor girl. Goddamn. :allbuttons:

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Dec 19, 2016

# ? Dec 19, 2016 21:57

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# ? May 16, 2024 13:45

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

54 40 or gently caress posted:

IM JUST FINE THANKS

I'm actually great, thanks for asking! I think I gravitate to them because I always hope for the best outcome. Plus these posts tend to be more outlandish in content so that probably factors on as well. How are you, Gaunab?

I understand; some post pique our interest more than others. Also I'm well. This guy isn't though.

quote:

My (22M) girlfriend (21F) accidentally called my brother (23M) "daddy" in front of everyone. Now all my friends are teasing me about it.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for roughly six months. She's very sweet, caring and incredibly gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact that people tend to be surprised when they find out we're a couple. I'm pretty average in the looks department but I didn't think I was a hideous troll like some people imply when they see us together. We've gotten snarky comments from people in public (mostly dudes) but she's very witty and we mostly just laugh it off.

Anyway, a few days ago we were chilling by the pool with some friends and later my brother joined us. At one point my brother complimented her when she told him she can speak 4 languages. However instead of saying "thanks [his name]" she replied "thanks daddy". She immediately corrected herself and looked very embarrassed. Everyone cracked up laughing and I didn't see the point of being butt hurt so I was like w/e, everyone slips up sometimes. Hearing her call him daddy gave me a "the gently caress did I just hear?" feeling though but I didn't make it a deal. My brother was grinning as well but I shot him a look and he raised his hands in a it's not my fault way. My gf looked quite annoyed (and uncomfortable) when she got teased and called them a bunch of lames.The situation wasn't bad and I didn't think too much about it. Maybe I should've.

Well now my friends are constantly teasing me about it. Saying that she sounded "very comfortable" calling him daddy and that it's "probably not the first time" she called him that. I've been told by a female friend "you're brother is hotter than you so I'm not surprised she called him daddy but it's still dodgy". I told them that they're just being ridiculous and nothing's going on between my gf and bro. They seem to think that it wasn't just a slip up and that I should keep an eye on her. I'm at that stage where I'm thinking it might be true even though there's zero evidence. However my brother was always the better looking one and he's objectively attractive. A couple of my past girlfriends dumped me as soon as they met him and tried to hook up with him. I have these insecurities already and now they're resurfacing. I trust my gf wholly and he's engaged but all this taunting makes me paranoid to say the least.

Am I being too laid back or should there be a reason for me to be paranoid?

TL;DR my girlfriend accidentally called my brother "daddy" in front of everyone. My friends insist that something's going on between them and that I should keep an eye on my gf. I believe that it's no big deal because we all have awkward slip ups every now and then. How do I deal with this?

# ? Dec 19, 2016 22:03

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

Family Disappointed in Wedding Announcement

I (20f) and my fiance (22m) announced our engagement and future wedding (May 2017) to our families back in August. His family was of course, thrilled, but mine was the exact opposite. My mother, grandmother, and uncle are the worst, demanding I push it off until I graduate college (in 2 years) and that I can't possibly understand the commitment that I'm making. They tell me it has nothing to do with who I chose, only that they are sure that we will both change over next few years (which I know is true, but we have changed together in the last four years that we have been dating, and the next few will be no different as long as we continue to communicate). My brother (18) has told me that they talk about me behind my back and while they would go to the ends of the earth for me, they don't show a single lick of support to our relationship. I feel ashamed at every family gathering that I bring my fiance to, and I thought the bullying would let up, but it hasnt. I've considered just taking some friends to elope, but my fiance and I know that it's not what our dream wedding would be like. Family and acceptance is so important to us, but I'm not sure I want to wage war over a wedding. Should I elope? Just not invite them to the wedding? Give into the demands and push it back a few years? And also, why in the world are they acting like this?

Tldr: Announced wedding (20f & 22m) to my family, getting continuous harassment and demands to push it back 2-3 years.

i love this one because all the comments are saying "your family is right and you should have a long engagement because you are very young and things change"

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:12

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Groovelord Neato posted:

there's a league of laffos streamer who legit gets pissed off and breaks monitors fairly regularly. he even tweets out pics of it.

Tyler?

It's far from legit, he hams it up for money. The dude has a constant stream of donations coming in every 5 seconds or so literally all stream.

Edit: content

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resum� with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

quote:

Yes reddit, I know how hilarious this sounds and I promise you this is not a joke as I am genuinely freaking out right now. I am soon finishing up secondary school (high school) and I'm looking for my very first job for the summer, so when I was filling out my resum� I didn't have a lot of experience to mention so I decided to do a hobbies and passions section, taking advice from others.

I (stupidly) left my laptop out on the kitchen table today while I went to the shop to get some tea, and my gobshite of a sister thought it would be the joke of the century to delete my hobbies & passions section and replace everything with a single bullet point saying "garlic bread".
Now, I had closed the Word Document, saving it, before leaving. She opened it, changed it without telling me, and saved it and closed it before I came back. She knows bloody well that I'm looking for jobs at the moment and she knew I'd spent the afternoon working on my resum�.
I came home with the tea anyway and since I was happy with my resum� (I didn't bother to recheck it, I had no idea someone would change it to "garlic bread" while I was gone) I sent it to multiple job applications from an online hiring site, which had places hiring in my town. I'd say I sent this garlic bread resume to about twenty to thirty institutions in total.

It was only after I sent them that I decided to re-check my resum�, when I noticed the horrific alteration. I am absolutely mortified. I immediately confronted my sister about it, getting a strong sixth sense that she was the most likely culprit, and she thought it was loving hilarious. She literally laughed until she cried while I was standing there nearly crying from stress and mortification.
My sister has always been a joker and she gets away with bloody murder, but this was so serious. I am sick of her pulling off this shite to everyone around her, thinking it's funny or cool or something. It was only when I explained to her the full seriousness of the situation, and that I had sent it to 20/30 places, that she copped on and apologized. Not sure if she was being genuine but the words "I'm sorry" definitely left her mouth.
Then she had the audacity to blame me for it, asking me why I hadn't checked it before sending it off. I screamed at her that I had checked it multiple times before leaving to get tea, and didn't expect anyone else to change it while I was gone. She then back-pedaled and insisted that she meant it as a joke, like "just a prank brah" mentality but I'm having none of it.

I don't know what the hell to do now and rectify the situation. I have never job hunted before, I don't know how serious this stupid mistake is. I live in a large enough Irish town but small enough for businesses to spread gossip, so I'm terrified that they'll all now know not to hire the "garlic bread" girl. Should I email the places I applied to explaining the situation, or will I sound like a complete knob?
Technically, it IS true that garlic bread is a passion of mine simply because it's delicious, but obviously it is not resum�-worthy. The businesses probably think I'm taking the piss and it's extremely unprofessional. I'm so annoyed that this is my first impression in the working world, I'm not even hired and I've hosed up already. Should I resend them my application with my resum� fixed? Should I move on and forget about the places I applied and apply to new businesses with a rectified resum�? Should I just loving move town at this point since I've clearly made a fool of myself already? Also, how do I talk to my parents or sister about her stupid spoilt bratty behavior?
TL;DR: My little sister changed my hobbies and passions section on my resum� to "garlic bread" as a joke and I sent it out to about 20/30 business in my town unknowingly. I have no idea how to fix this.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:17

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

Gaunab posted:

I understand; some post pique our interest more than others. Also I'm well. This guy isn't though.

This sounds incredibly stupid, but at the same time, how do you call someone ''daddy'' by mistake. Like it'd be one thing if the OP said ''my gf usually calls me daddy when it's the two of us'' or something, but that's a weird slip up out of nowhere.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:18

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Nazzadan posted:

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resum� with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

lmao

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:26

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Nazzadan posted:

Tyler?

It's far from legit, he hams it up for money. The dude has a constant stream of donations coming in every 5 seconds or so literally all stream.

Edit: content

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resum� with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

Accept that those applications are hosed, delete "hobbies and passions" from your resume because nobody cares, and give your sister a Stone Cold Stunner.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:27

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

^- also yeah lol

Nazzadan posted:

Tyler?

It's far from legit, he hams it up for money. The dude has a constant stream of donations coming in every 5 seconds or so literally all stream.

Edit: content

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resum� with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

Seems like all those places will dodge a bullet, if you can't be bothered to double-check your poo poo!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:28

Gadzuko: Feb 14, 2005

Nazzadan posted:

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resum� with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

This is hilarious and garlic bread girl needs to get together with one of the tombstone brothers to create the ultimate prank family. This is another one of those things that gets the whole room rolling at a party 10 years down the road.

Seems like she'll be fine anyway, in the comments she even acknowledges she's going to laugh at it. And she applied to some Italian restaurants! Little sis did her a favor.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:28

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Honestly if she's 18 and just applying around town for her first job ever I wouldn't be surprised if Garlic-Gate doesn't hold her back. If it's an otherwise fine resume I really don't think the local McDonald's or retail outlet is gonna give a hoot. In fact it will probably still be one of the better ones.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:33

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Nazzadan posted:

Tyler?

It's far from legit, he hams it up for money. The dude has a constant stream of donations coming in every 5 seconds or so literally all stream.

Edit: content

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resumé with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

This is hilarious and amazing

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:33

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Nazzadan posted:

Tyler?

It's far from legit, he hams it up for money. The dude has a constant stream of donations coming in every 5 seconds or so literally all stream.

Edit: content

I [18 F] left my laptop open and my sister [15 F] replaced everything in my "Hobbies & Passions" section on my resumé with just "garlic bread" as a joke. I unknowingly sent it out to about 20-30 businesses and now I have no idea what to do about it.

What's the proper decorum for this one, anyway?

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

That's hilarious and it might actually help, if it makes her resume stand out in a funny but otherwise unremarkable way.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:37

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pick posted:

That's hilarious and it might actually help, if it makes her resume stand out in a funny but otherwise unremarkable way.

Exactly. As long as she's qualified, I would totally want to interview her just to ask about the garlic bread thing.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:42

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

WampaLord posted:

Exactly. As long as she's qualified, I would totally want to interview her just to ask about the garlic bread thing.

She's gonna get a job and have her wily younger sister to thank!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:45

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Also it doesn't make her look ambitious.

"Why do you want this job at Drudgery Co.?"

"I have the necessary skills and no real interests."

" :monocle:

You're hired!"

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:48

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:49

kloa: Feb 14, 2007

I am home for a month for the holidays, and blazed through the remaining 200 pages I've been behind on over the course of 2-3 days. I usually just read a page or two on bathroom breaks, but man, this thread is eye opening to how lovely some people can be :catstare:

. It's also hard to stop reading about the trainwrecks that are people's real relationships.

God Bless Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:49

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

She's 18, the stakes here aren't that high. Worse case scenario, she missed out on a sweet retail gig?

Funnily enough, once you get to a certain level in the business world, this wouldn't be an issue either. CEOs don't even have resumes.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:52

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Dudes brothers name has to be close to daddy right? Like Freddy or Eddie or idk. PRETTY IMPORTANT DETAIL.

Also holy loving Jesus at the dislocating back brace. Omg that makes me so angry.

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

I was more upset until I saw she was 18. Sure it's annoying but her resumes aren't going out to the Handful of "adult" companies in her area post college.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:54

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

It would gently caress up an application if you're trying to become the Vice President of Sales at Amazon.

It will not gently caress up an application if you're trying to become a barista at Starbucks.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:54

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

The reddit comments are full of (alleged) people in charge of hiring who said that it would be a nice break from the monotony of the rest of the resumes and make her memorable to them.

So, while not a best practice, there are probably worse outcomes?

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:57

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

My feelings changed a bit as I read it, though I'm guessing it could only help. At first I laughed at having a hobbies section, but for an 18 year old that might be a significant portion of it.

Either way, as a guy who actually is in a position to screen resumes, that would make laugh genuinely.

Edit: also yeah that back brace story is scary and sad, wtf :smith:

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:59

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

Counterpoint: She's 18. A hosed up prank at 25 is just an amusing anecdote at 18.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Hiring, at least at larger institutions, is never about who is most qualified. It's about who is adequately qualified enough to not get the hiring manager in trouble, and who personally amuses them or has a funny name or who doesn't have anything funny about them all, it depends on how the hiring manager personally wants to fly under the radar and avoid real responsibility.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 00:59

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Well I finally finished reading this entire thread, and I just have to say the mental image of a dude angrily eating kraft mac & cheese, glaring at his girlfriend for making gyros for everybody, while all of their friends relentlessly dunk on him, is probably the funniest thing in the entire thread.

Also Pick is a good poster and Troposphere owns

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:19

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

So I'm the only one who thinks that would absolutely gently caress up an application, and the sister is a horrible person

I'm a recruiter and if someone had garlic bread in their interests - if I even bothered to read that part of the CV which is usually tucked away at the end - I don't think it would phase me.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:20

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Having garlic bread listed as your sole passion is an asset. It shows that you're able to stay focused on long-term projects without losing interest. You've chosen one thing and now you're seeing it through to the hot, buttery end.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:20

Gadzuko: Feb 14, 2005

If nothing else it will weed out any hiring manager with a stick up their rear end, which is a plus.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:30

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

ZombieJesus posted:

full disclosure: my partner and I have been in an open, poly relationship for four years, and we live together and have a great and healthy relationship

no you don't.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:36

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Having garlic bread listed as your sole passion is an asset. It shows that you're able to stay focused on long-term projects without losing interest. You've chosen one thing and now you're seeing it through to the hot, buttery end.

If she gets through a phone interview where they mention it, she better sure as poo poo bring some loving garlic bread to the interview.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:36

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Gluten Freeman posted:

i love this one because all the comments are saying "your family is right and you should have a long engagement because you are very young and things change"

I dunno, they've been together for 4 years without a breakup apparently. Young or not, that's more commitment than you see a lot of adults putting into their relationship before marriage.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:39

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

getting married at 22 and 20 is insane.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:41

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

ikanreed posted:

If she gets through a phone interview where they mention it, she better sure as poo poo bring some loving garlic bread to the interview.

Can you imagine? The interviewer makes a joke about it and asks if you'll be bringing it to lunch often. You pull out a squished piece of garlic bread from your pocket, take a bite, put it back, and tell them you prefer Soylent.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:47

Tears In A Vial: Jan 13, 2008

quote:

Me [25f] with my Roommate [80 M], he got an aggressive dog

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:53

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Groovelord Neato posted:

getting married at 22 and 20 is insane.

This so depends from couple to couple. Started dating my husband when I was 17, him 18, got married at 23/24 three years and I don't think I've met a more functional, happy couple than ourselves . Though I realize we might be an exception

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:55

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

my sister and her husband were together since 15 but waited until 25 to actually get married.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:55

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

purple death ray posted:

Well I finally finished reading this entire thread, and I just have to say the mental image of a dude angrily eating kraft mac & cheese, glaring at his girlfriend for making gyros for everybody, while all of their friends relentlessly dunk on him, is probably the funniest thing in the entire thread.

Also Pick is a good poster and Troposphere owns

aw thanks!!

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:56

Agentdark: Dec 30, 2007; Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much?

chitoryu12 posted:

I dunno, they've been together for 4 years without a breakup apparently. Young or not, that's more commitment than you see a lot of adults putting into their relationship before marriage.

I would imagine that the relationship is much more hosed up and one sided then they admit to. I meet alot of Poly people who desperately try to defend their dysfunctional relationships with the weirdest and worst logic.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 01:56

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# ? May 16, 2024 13:45

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Hey, at least todays derail is something I can get onboard with. Garlic bread is good, and its worth having as a skill on LinkedIn.

# ? Dec 20, 2016 02:00

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