/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Pvt.Scott posted:

gently caress, some medieval peasants were at least smart enough to have the couple share a bed for a few nights (under watch and with a board dividing them) to see if they were even able to sleep together comfortably.

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 21:55

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# ? May 20, 2024 10:07

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

Chomp8645 posted:

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

New thread title?

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:02

Themata: Dec 10, 2011; If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt

MF_James posted:

Yeah this is NOT on uncommon thing in other countries (putting toilet paper in a bin).

I figured it went without saying that leaving poo poo on a toilet etc was gross. Sometimes you have a really gross poo poo and things splatter, you adult and clean it up, happy now that I've said something about it?

Most people wouldn't disagree that poop-stained/smeared toilet seats are nasty and should be cleaned up unless they're filthy shitlords, but they're more willing to debate whether or not it's ok to let the roll spin like a hamster wheel to get the amount you'll use.

Charles Get-Out posted:

Non-Problems News: Wednesday Edition

Me [35 M] with my exgf [31 F] 9 months, she broke up with me and is angry I am trying to move on. Confused...

I would've guessed they were closer to their early 20's at best.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:03

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Themata posted:

Most people wouldn't disagree that poop-stained/smeared toilet seats are nasty and should be cleaned up unless they're filthy shitlords, but they're more willing to debate whether or not it's ok to let the roll spin like a hamster wheel to get the amount you'll use.

I would've guessed they were closer to their early 20's at best.

It did seem more interesting to debate than a circle jerk of "Yup, clean up your toilet you dirty shitlords" repeated ad infinitum.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:05

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Chomp8645 posted:

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition)

It was an Amish thing in colonial America.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:10

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Chomp8645 posted:

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

The world is dumber and more wondrous than you might think.

Wikipedia is not where I heard of the practice, it was a side-note in some documentary.

E;FB

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:14

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Themata posted:

I would've guessed they were closer to their early 20's at best.

Yeah it's the surprise twist ending. No one expects that 30 year olds to be that dumb and banal about their non-issues.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:16

Themata: Dec 10, 2011; If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt

As long as there's some derailing about too much toilet paper, I figured I'd go hunting for content related to it, and found a bit more than I bargained for. Not from Reddit, but from Penny Arcade's forum:

My new roommate is a toilet paper fiend

quote:

There's quite the backstory behind my current apartment situation, but long story short: I was planning on rooming with a college friend, he screwed me over last minute, I found myself signing a lease with a couple other university grad students sight unseen. Not the best of ideas, but I was pretty low on options at that point -- I had to live somewhere.

One of these roommates arrived a few days ago. He seemed like a nice enough guy when my girlfriend and I were interviewing him on the phone/Skype, but it's quickly becoming apparent to us that this guy is... really OCD.

He goes through literally a roll of toilet paper a day, possibly more. Most of it ends up in the trash can -- unsoiled, at least to my naked eye -- though he's doubtlessly flushing a fair amount down the toilet just so we don't see it. We have NO IDEA what he's doing in there... I mean, even if he was lining the seat with the stuff every time he went to the bathroom he wouldn't be using THAT much.

He also goes through, again literally, a roll of paper towels a day. Again, we have no idea what he's doing with them... we just have a trash can full of barely used paper towels at the end of the day.

When I initially asked him about the excessive toilet paper use, he told me "something got wet" and he was using the paper to towel it up. This was clearly a lie, as he's continued to barrel through our supply, except now he's half-assedly trying to hide it by flushing half of it down the toilet.

I'm probably going to tell him that he needs to get his own drat paper cleaning supplies, because whatever arcane rituals he's performing while I'm away is clearly going to be too expensive for me to pay for. But I'm also really worried about the trash and the pipes... if he continues to abuse the paper supply at his current rates, I imagine we're going to rack up some serious plumber and trash collection fees in very short order.

What the hell do I do about this guy?!

So what could be the reason this dude goes through so much paper? A few months later, OP updates:

quote:

So after a few months of observation I have some news to report:

The Good News: we "resolved" the toilet paper situation. The three of us normal people bring the toilet paper in and out of the bathroom, and he buys his own now. We have to be careful not to accidentally leave our rolls in there though lest he demolish them like the inconsiderate rear end in a top hat he is...

The Bad News: he has revealed himself as a genuinely terrible roommate and awful person on soooo many other levels, holy hell. But I won't turn this into a pity party.

The Ugly News: we're 99% sure he's bulimic.

Looking back, the signs have been pretty obvious. We already knew he had severe body issues and health problems. He's on his own special ketogenic diet which as far as I can tell is of his own creation; it basically involves him eating hamburger meat, bacon, fried chicken, and cheese and drinking water, diet soda, diet beer, and diet Red Bull only. If it weren't for the multivitamins he takes he would almost certainly have scurvy, as he eats no vegetables, fruits, or healthy grains ever. Once or twice a week he will allow himself a "cheating" day, whereupon a typical dinner menu is 3-4 cinnamon rolls with a red bull. You don't want to leave a box of cookies out in the open on his bing-I-mean-"cheating" days, as he will destroy them all by himself. (Side note: this diet makes him smell like a sweaty rear end in a top hat that just got wiped with bacon, goddamn.)

As far as we can tell he purges around twice a day. The ritual involves him going the bathroom for a few minutes, running the tub/sink, and throwing up into a big wad of toilet paper to muffle the sound and remove the tell-tale "kerplunk" of vomit hitting porcelain. We're not sure if he's doing it over the toilet or over the sink. For the first few months I think he tried to disguise the noises he made -- it sounded like he was gargling mouthwash (which he, as is typical for him, stole from my girlfriend til she took it away) and then hocking a massive loogie. Lately though he's gotten either more brazen or we've gotten more savvy, as it's starting to sound a lot more like retching.

So, uh, what should I do?

This is going to sound callous, but I don't give a drat about this guy. He's an inconsiderate, lying little prick and he can ravage his body and give himself a heart attack if he wants to. I'm really not in the mood to organize an intervention and pretend like I give two shits about his mental or physical health. Besides, he's not friends with me or any of the other people living here, so it's not like he'd listen to us anyway. If we confronted him, he'd probably just lie and try to hide it better, like he's done when we've confronted him about other bad habits of his in the past.

My concern is more about the health of me and the other two roommates. Also, we have some friends and family who have vomit phobias, and they're not going to be comfortable hanging out or staying the night here if they catch wind of what's going on. This guy is regularly leaving a biohazard in the toilet, sink, or maybe even the bathtub. Should I be doing anything to avoid or sanitize the area, aside from wearing shower shoes?

Unfortunately, just kicking him out still isn't an option, as he's still on the lease until July. I'm not even sure if it's worth it to let him know that he isn't fooling us, because that would probably just lead him to do even weirder, grosser, and potentially more hazardous things to disguise it. Maybe I should tip off the student health center at his school or something?

quote:

Believe me, I don't need more reasons to hate the guy. He got on all three of our collective poo poo lists months ago.

Honestly, while we all don't like him he generally keeps to himself and doesn't actively piss us off... and if it were just the case that he was a weird guy with some annoying but functional habits then it wouldn't be that big a deal. The problem is that this is just the tip of the iceberg of a lot of really unhygienic, inconsiderate, and otherwise bizarre behavior that make him a very difficult person to live with.

All the same, fair point, I won't demonize him for his, erm, habit. But can you blame me for getting grossed out and concerned, though? Based on past behavior (let's just say that we've found other waste matter of his in various non-toilet places in the bathroom) I wouldn't put it past this guy to vomit into the sink or the bathtub.

Even if I let him do his thing, so of my vomit-phobic (as in, they vomit when they see of hear vomit) friends aren't going to be happy to visit in the future... the sounds of his retching is easily heard through the walls, and I don't need a vomit cascade. And yes, a part of me feels ad for enabling self-destructive behavior. But honestly we don't know what to do, as he's not friends with any of us and he'll just lie if we confront him. Do I really have no options here except tough it out until July?

quote:

Hmm. So my girlfriend suspects that he is, indeed, doing it over/into the sink. We find a LOT of soap and... other stuff caked onto there, and we didn't think that much of it before but
we're beginning to think that he's using the soap to clean up the vomit. That would also explain why he uses so many bars of soap (he generally uses them up and/or throws them away after less than a week's use). It would also explain why the sink clogs more than it should. We checked and sure enough, there's some toilet paper and some pretty gnarly bile-looking stuff under the drain.

What's the best way to clean the sink and loosen the drain? Bleach and liquid plumber? I don't think this guy is doing an adequate job of cleaning up after himself.

(Also, making a point of keeping my toothbrush and all else off the sink counter...)

And it just gets worse. :barf:

quote:

Guys, I understand where you are coming from here, especially when all you have to go on is this thread. But in my defense please keep in mind that the first post in this chain was over six months ago, when the guy first moved in. The toilet paper, paper towels, and the minor kleptomania was an annoyance to be sure, but at that point the guy seemed manageable -- I just needed advice for a guy with some bizarre habits who would lie, dissemble, or simply not listen to me when I asked him to stop or offered up compromises.

Things have gotten worse since then. His habits range from the annoying (using the laundry room as his personal closet/hamper and making it smell like sweat and mildew, leaving dried fat in the oven so that it floods the kitchen with smoke the next time someone tries to use it) to the disrespectful (destroying half my cookware/dishware and not replacing it, blowing through communal supplies e.g. dish soap and never replacing it, sneaking/stealing food that I and the other roommates have bought, never cleaning anything and treating us like his personal maid service) to the just plain disgusting and/or bizarre (caking the bathtub and sink with soap and toothpaste and pubic hair, shaving his head over the sink and getting his hair all over our toothbrushes, spraying piss all around the toilet, leaving dingleberries on the bathroom floor somehow). Like everything else, when we try to confront him he either a) lies about it and tries to throw one of the other roommates under the bus, b) goes to greater lengths to hide his habits, or c) turns into a brick wall and simply ignores us.

The throwing up into the sink thing is just the tip of the iceberg, and I'm asking for advice because unlike the other poo poo it doesn't seem like something I can or should ignore.

I know the guy is almost certainly mentally ill, but as far as I'm concerned that doesn't make him any less responsible for his inconsiderate, unhealthy, and unacceptable behavior. He's been a huge rear end in a top hat to the rest of us, and while I wouldn't wish depression or mental illness on anyone or maliciously think he "deserves" it, I don't think I owe him anything either -- especially when he probably wouldn't accept my help anyway. I signed up to be a roommate, not a social worker.

The thread doesn't end in a resolution unfortunately, but with this nasty closer:

quote:

Aaaaaaand the sink pipes just broke. Surprise, surprise. Just eyeballing the pipes with a flashlight it looks like the problem is that they are basically clogged with this kid's puke.

Yeah, I'm thinking that your advice might be good at this stage, Athenor. Might as well let the landlord know what's going on so that he doesn't hold the rest of us responsible.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:29

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

Big shoutout to H/A

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:35

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

Is there any hope of salvaging even a friendship, after what I(40F) did to him(25M).

quote:

We met when he was graduating college. I never thought it would turn into a 3 year, on again/off again romance. He moved away almost 2 years ago, but we did the LDR thing and agreed to see other people. We would meet up on weekends, vacation with each other, etc.

This summer, I felt super disrespected after I found he was being less than honest about the status of his GF (20 something) and I cut off all contact. After about 6 weeks, he sent me a text, showed up at my house and apologized. I made it clear, i couldn't handle being treated that way again, and wouldn't forgive him a second time.

Two months later, I'm finding the same clues about MAJOR dishonestly. I visit him, needing to stay at his place to have a minor surgical procedure, before I make the long drive back to my home. He wasn't supposed to be there, I was just going to pick up a key and he'd stay with family for a family event. I'd leave the next day before he got back. But he was there and just before leaving, and casually dropped huge bomb about another issue that he'd been lying about.

I lost it. I was super upset. We argued briefly, he yelled at me, I told him to leave. I was crying.
I tried to get some sleep, but I just couldn't. I got up, and took every shoe lace out of all his shoes. He had like 50 pairs. I then found a metal bowl and put the laces in and filled it with water and put it in the freezer.

He found what I'd done late the next morning. He sent a few texts and called. I called back and said I was sorry and told him where the laces were (freezer). He told me to have a safe drive and hung up on me. His last text was "You have my word, I will not contact you again".
I really messed up. He's always joked that he goes for the crazy chicks, but I know this was way over the top.

We used to talk and text everyday. He is one of my closest friends, the few people who really know me. I'm so mad at myself that I did this and didn't wait to just try talking to him. Is there anyway to salvage this, even just to be friends? ( he is moving back to my area next week).

tl;dr: Did a crazy chick super mean thing (unlaced all his shoes and froze the laces) to someone I actually care about. Is there anyway to fix it or do I just try to forget him and the last 3 years?

And if someone is wondering, here was my thought process. I figured letting the ice defrost, sorting and drying the laces and then relacing all the shoes would be a huge waste of time. How he's been wasting my time. That the betrayal of me messing with his stuff (shoes, which he loves), was so he could feel what its like to have some one you trust come out of nowhere and break that trust. I know. Not rational. At 3am, on no sleep and after driving 7 hours that day, it seemed rational. I'm literally sick to my stomach.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:36

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Is there any hope of salvaging even a friendship, after what I(40F) did to him(25M).

what

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:40

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

who has 50 pairs of shoes

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:42

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

so wait

the thing he did that she was mad at him for was be present in his apartment when he wasn't supposed to be

plus something else she refuses to elaborate on

so she... sabotaged all his shoes

ok

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:43

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

That must've been some kind of crazy rage to delace fifty pairs of shoes and not get tired/have an epiphany around pair ten or so

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:44

sout: Apr 24, 2014

Dial-a-Dog posted:

That must've been some kind of crazy rage to delace fifty pairs of shoes and not get tired/have an epiphany around pair ten or so

yeah that's awesome, i would never think of that poo poo

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:46

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

NOTE: "like 50" can under certain circumstances mean "six"

he does apparently love shoes though, maybe it actually meant "53"

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:49

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Were there boots, I wonder? Maybe some shoes where he had gone to the trouble to do some alternate lacing techniques? This is the sort of thing that could really mess up your day

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:53

Beekeeping and You: Sep 27, 2011

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Is there any hope of salvaging even a friendship, after what I(40F) did to him(25M).

a rare reverse agegap

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:53

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

What's the issue he casually dropped on her?

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:53

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Beekeeping and You posted:

a rare reverse agegap

I know!

Still a red flag, though.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:54

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Gaunab posted:

What's the issue he casually dropped on her?

The fact she didn't want to elaborate on it suggests it's more harmless than "said he wouldn't be at his apartment but was" so I imagine it was something like "I know I said I'd leave you some KFC but I actually left you some Taco Bell ok bye"

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:58

Theokotos: Jan 22, 2015; Fallen Rib

themata posted:

Penny arcade vomit guy

My friend had a male, bulimic roommate who would vomit into paper bags and just hurl them out his bedroom window into a nearby tree-they would lodge there and fester in the North Carolina humidity. The guy was horrible, vain and spoiled in other ways, but the vomit tree really stuck with me.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 22:58

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Gaunab posted:

What's the issue he casually dropped on her?

He has a shoe fetish.

How in the hell does a man have 50 pairs of shoes and not have at least one pair of slip ons? They're all laced? I'm calling BS.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:01

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I knew a guy when I worked at a hotel who had a shoe collection. Limited editions, would wear any one pair once a month or so, kept em spotless. He had at least 50 pairs. The big sports shoes manufacturers do limited runs for nerdy collectors and rap stars.

I tried desperately to get ahold of one of the "Alien Stomper" remakes of Ellen Ripley's space sneakers from Alien once. I think I had looked into the crazy shoe poo poo because of that guy and it just happened that there was something I wanted. They make runs of like 50 shoes and poo poo, though, so good luck.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:04

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

Chomp8645 posted:

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

e: This just fits so well with most of these reddit stories, I just can't help it.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:04

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

that woman is absolutely nuts but freezing all of someone's shoelaces is an amazing prank and I need to remember that one

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:05

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Chomp8645 posted:

This sounds outrageously stupid and also false.

Everything on this page, really. It's all true though, because life is dumb like that.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:15

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

yeah i was worried that she'd like killed his dog and poo poo on the corpse. freezing someone's shoelaces in a big block is a perfect compromise between insulting pain in the rear end and something the police would absolutely not press charges over

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:18

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Pick posted:

sigh

a lot of the updates go this way. Remember the woman who got raped for serving vegetables?

That one will go down as one of my absolute favorites. There is no way in hell the picky eater progressive boyfriend went from accusing her of bigotry and rape to sodomizing her with a cucumber in the span of about 5 seconds, but it is a hilarious read.

Content with a happy ending:

Really weird things are happening to me [22F]. Not sure if it's an elaborate prank or if I'm seriously mentally ill?!

quote:

Ok, ok. Ok. I've never ever, ever! Felt the need to post here but I feel like I'm losing my mind?!
I don't even know where to start. My mind is so jumbled. I guess it started two weeks ago at work. I work in a factory, but I don't do the labor, I'm more of a spreadsheet maker/book balancer/secretary type thing. Really informal but it's my uncles company and I needed a job, yadda yadda. Good pay.
I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do, and I hear my boss (not my uncle, just another coworker and a friend of his) go, "Phil sighs as he looks at the weather."
I look up like, huh? And he looks at me like, huh? He didn't say anything. I was like...that's weird. But oh well. Anyway.
And then the next day I was talking to some coworkers on the floor asking them work stuff, and one of them called me a bitch but when I called him out, him and everyone else looked at me like I was insane? I apologized and we all laughed it off. Factory is loud, right? People mis-hear things all the time...
Except, I was at Wal-Mart (I know, class) and one of the workers there was putting away stock and I swear to GOD he looked straight at me and said "The chicken was just killed" but I asked him what he meant and I felt so bad because he looked so confused and like I was crazy?! He hadn't even opened his mouth apparently. poo poo like this has been happening so much, my friend even pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling okay..
Small things are happening too. My boyfriend says he's making salmon for dinner, I hear him preparing salmon, I smell salmon, then he brings it out and it's lasagna. I asked him where the salmon was and he was like, "...What? I said lasagna tonight" And brushed it off like I'm being silly.
I could've sworn this one shirt I owned was green and not teal. poo poo is changing and people are saying stuff but they're not?! People are narrating their lives sometimes?! Theres no way my friends could be pranking me, not when random people on the street are doing this too.
I'm so scared, I don't want to be thrown in a mental hospital. NOT trying to offend mentally ill people, I just. I'm so scared. I feel like my mind is slowly melting...
tl;dr - People keep saying things they aren't actually saying and I think I'm going insane?

The update:

quote:

Wow. Wowowowow. I never could've ever in my wildest imagination that my last post would get this much attention. I was my on boyfriends reddit account on his phone and actually saw my own post near the first page? I was floored. Then he saw what I was looking at and we had a pretty awkward conversation...
Basically asked me why I posted something like that. He'd read it but only when he saw me on the page it clicked that he saw the same username on my laptop on reddit. He never imagined it was me. (I did change some details about my life in the last post.)
So we talked for a long time and finally he said that he was taking me to emergency. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to wait for my appointment, not because I didn't think it was serious, but because I had no clue how to explain what was happening to the doctors and nurses. Especially for it to warrant an emerg visit.
So we went, and he was very understanding. Just asked me how much I remembered from the past couple days. Stuff he's said, and stuff I'd apparently heard. We were both scared hahaha.
I got to emerg. Very slow. I live in a smallish town but we have a giant hospital for some reason? We're close to a lot of other towns, and they use our hospital. Close to Toronto too. Anyway.
It was slow. Just one father and a sick child. I went in and basically had to explain what was happening and honestly, the nurses were like 'wtf? this bitch is crazy' but when I saw a doctor he took me very very seriously. It was very nice. He wrote down basically everything I said.
I got some xrays and they asked me questions. You know the whole spiel. Anyway the point of this update was to tell you guys that I have a tumor. That's really scary writing out, but I have a tumor. In my brain. It hasn't sunken in yet that tomorrow my brain is going to be under the knife.
I don't want to share more because I've gotten a lot of messages from people who were like... guessing my name. and where im from. apparently i remind people of their friends or crazy exes.
I'm scared to miss work but my boss was more than understanding. He sort of looked at me like I was insane when I asked how long I should be out of work. I don't know. I need to pay rent!!! We'll figure it out.
Thank you all for your love and support. I will update whenever I remember to.
I am scared, but alive.
tl;dr I have a tumor and I'm getting surgery. Thanks!!

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:25

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

P-Mack posted:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bundling_(tradition)

It was an Amish thing in colonial America.

From the description it still does not sound like "two people put in bed, under watch, separated by board". It sounds like "together in bed" (the only part that makes sense) was the common part, the "separated by board" was rare and kooky, and the "under watch" literally never. Also it that it was just as common for travelers renting half beds as prospective couples.

So yeah the description posted here before the links was false or at best a vague half-truth.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:26

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Not sure "brain tumor" exactly scans to me as "happy ending" but at least it wasn't abuse I guess

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:27

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Nazzadan posted:

That one will go down as one of my absolute favorites. There is no way in hell the picky eater progressive boyfriend went from accusing her of bigotry and rape to sodomizing her with a cucumber in the span of about 5 seconds, but it is a hilarious read.

Content with a happy ending:

Really weird things are happening to me [22F]. Not sure if it's an elaborate prank or if I'm seriously mentally ill?!

The update:

Holy poo poo :ohdear:

thank god they caught it early.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:27

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

loquacius posted:

Not sure "brain tumor" exactly scans to me as "happy ending" but at least it wasn't abuse I guess

Hmm I dunno I think I'd rather be roughly pegged than have a brain tumour tbqh. :v:

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:36

forbidden dialectics: Jul 26, 2005

loquacius posted:

Not sure "brain tumor" exactly scans to me as "happy ending" but at least it wasn't abuse I guess

Pff, lucky girl. They probably can't even fire you for having a brain tumor in Canada. What's she worried about?

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:36

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

I knew a guy when I worked at a hotel who had a shoe collection. Limited editions, would wear any one pair once a month or so, kept em spotless. He had at least 50 pairs. The big sports shoes manufacturers do limited runs for nerdy collectors and rap stars.

I tried desperately to get ahold of one of the "Alien Stomper" remakes of Ellen Ripley's space sneakers from Alien once. I think I had looked into the crazy shoe poo poo because of that guy and it just happened that there was something I wanted. They make runs of like 50 shoes and poo poo, though, so good luck.

I had a coworker who would buy the limited jordans and poo poo like that. He wore a pair to work and stepped in a mud puddle once. Lost his goddamn poo poo over it which was somewhat amusing since when he wore any of them, he'd make sure to bring it up to whoever would listen.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:38

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

loquacius posted:

Not sure "brain tumor" exactly scans to me as "happy ending" but at least it wasn't abuse I guess

Funny answer: I have a brain tumor fetish.

Real answer: I consider it a happy ending because they found it early and the boyfriend forced her to go and if it was left up to her, she would just continue hearing people narrating to themselves until she dropped dead at a stoplight.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:39

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Nazzadan posted:

Funny answer: I have a brain tumor fetish.

Real answer: I consider it a happy ending because they found it early and the boyfriend forced her to go and if it was left up to her, she would just continue hearing people narrating to themselves until she dropped dead at a stoplight.

"The American Solution"

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:42

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Nazzadan posted:

Funny answer: I have a brain tumor fetish.

Real answer: I consider it a happy ending because they found it early and the boyfriend forced her to go and if it was left up to her, she would just continue hearing people narrating to themselves until she dropped dead at a stoplight.

Also because she doesn't have severe schizophrenia. Obviously brain tumors are horrible as well but poo poo, I'd kill to find out my mental illness is curable with surgery, even if it's risky as hell.

# ? Dec 21, 2016 23:47

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Me [25F] with my boyfriend[25 M] together 3 years, living together 3 months, he won't stop peeing on me in the shower.

quote:

So I have been with my boyfriend "Mark" for three years and we moved in together in November and have been drifting towards discussions of marriage. We each had our own apartments (w/roommates) but I was pretty much living at his apartment full time so we decided to give living together a try and it seemed to be going well. Generally we are on the same page when it comes to finances/goals/etc.
I go to work around ~6:15am and he leaves ~7am but we usually get up around the same time shower/eat together and then he takes the dog out for a brief walk after I leave. So we shower together most mornings. Which is a nice way to wake up, talk about the upcoming day and sometimes leads to some morning fun.

But about a month ago, I was washing my hair when I turned around to face him and he was peeing on me. He is 6'3" and I'm only 5'1" so the pee was landing on my stomach and running down my body. I was shocked and grossed out and said something along the lines of "what are you doing?!" He looked shocked that I had noticed but was like "oh we're in the shower, itll just wash off you" Now I could really care less if he pees in the shower (heck I'll admit to peeing in the shower on occasion). I just don't want to be peed on, which I told him in no uncertain terms, that I don't care if I'm in the shower it still makes me feel gross and I feel like he is a dog or something marking me.
He kinda shrugged it off and I figured everything was fine, but then the next day I was turned to wash my hair again and I felt something. So I turned and again he was peeing on me. So I got kinda mad and asked if he remembered me not liking that and to please stop. He brushed it off again with "its no big deal hun, I know other guys who pee on their gfs in the shower you shouldn't be afraid of a little pee."
I told him that I don't care what other people do. I don't like being peed on and if he needs to pee he could wait for me to get out or he could get out and pee in the toilet that is right there.
I figured the discussion was done with, but I was wrong again. And a week(or so?) later I caught him peeing on me again. I got mad and immediately got out of the shower. We got into an argument with him asserting that I was being too uptight and trying to control where he pees. And with me saying that its deeming and disrespectful to pee on another person without their permission. I asked if he had some sort of pee fetish or something (possibly tying together the peeing on me with the fact that I end up blowing him in the shower sometimes), but he said that wasn't the case, that he doesn't have any desire to pee on me outside the shower and that he just likes peeing on things like all guys do and doesn't think it should be a big deal if he pees in the shower.

I told him that I don't care if it is no big deal to most people. And that it isn't peeing in the shower that bothers me, its the fact that he's being down my back. Him peeing on me bothers me and that should be enough of a reason for him to not do it. That I find in deeming and not funny and that it makes me not want to shower with him. He seemed to agree and I thought the problem was resolved.
Now after this incident I ended up being put on this project at work which resulted in me leaving around 5am so showering before he got up in the morning. The project ended about two weeks ago, so now I'm back to my regular schedule.

And the first couple mornings were great, we both had really missed our morning routine. I thought maybe he was peeing on me last Thursday but he swore that he wasn't and promised that he wasn't going to do that anymore. But then on Monday I caught him peeing on me again and it made me so mad and we fought. So on Tuesday when I was in the shower I told him that he couldn't get in with me unless he peed right then because I couldn't trust him to not pee on me once he got in. That made him mad, saying that its wrong to try and control where someone else pees. So he didn't and just waited for me to get out.
I feel like it is a game to him to try and pee on me without me noticing. He also said that guys just have a need to pee on things and that in college he would pee outside while walking back from the bars all the time.
So today we got ready in complete silence separately and I don't know what to do. Am I being unreasonable?
tl;dr - Generally happy with my bf of 2 years except he won't stop peeing on me in the shower. I find it rude, he thinks I'm unreasonable.

He's totally just seeing if he can do it without her noticing

# ? Dec 22, 2016 00:02

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# ? May 20, 2024 10:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

He's a loving rear end in a top hat.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 00:08

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