/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

A Moose posted:

the race fetish pregnant girl should suggest they open up the relationship

Is this part not close enough?

quote:

We tried A DD/LG relationship but there was boundary stepping and constant comparing to his old little and it broke when he said I was to fat (i only weight 150. But his fave Kpop star weighs in at 92. Choa from AOA) and old looking to make it do anything for him and suggested bringing in another girl to fulfill that fantasy for him.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 14:34

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 05:21

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

I m30 hate my pregnant, old non-korean gf 20

# ? Dec 22, 2016 14:48

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Another edition of everyone's favorite game, guess the ages!

quote:

My [30F] fiance [32M], 10 years, is being intentionally cruel and rude to to punish me. Not sure how to fix it.

So, for a couple of weeks now my partner has been either holding a grudge or dealing with some personal issues. I haven't wanted to be around him because he is either constantly ignoring me, grunting at me or being inconsistent. The only time he is normal to me is in brief moments of conversation or when he says goodbye to me in the mornings before work, the only thing that has remained routine and the same as always. Everything else is off.

A few weeks ago he moved my video game console, and I over reacted thinking he'd taken it out of the house (he was going on a trip with family, and had intentions of me coming and taking the console with me) I told him all week long I didn't want to go on the trip, and he spent all week trying to convince me to. I insisted with Christmas coming, I couldn't find the time. I needed to do things at home. I had to wash all of our laundry for the week (the trip was a weekend long and we'd have nothing to wear on Monday) I had to get some christmas shopping sorted (every other weekend was busy and another trip coming up). Right up until the day he left he was asking if I was coming, I started to go on about the reasons I didn't want to go and he said "you're starting to annoy me" and got ready to go. We said goodbye normally and he left. I went to turn my console on (might as well relax a little!) and it wasn't there. I immediately flip, he must have packed it thinking I was going with him! I sent him some angry texts and I foolishly post a status on facebook FLAMING him. He then casually responded to my texts saying "yeah, I was playing it all the way here" (I still don't understand him at this point) and then posted on facebook "I moved it a few days ago, look on the other side of the tv." Turns out he had moved it to the other side, pushed it all the way to the back of the tv. The console was hanging off the edge of the tv unit, it was so concealed. I laughed it off and apologised to him, online and in person when he returned. The status, while scathing, was supposed to be in jest and humor. Everyone found it to be funny and well within my humor levels. Maybe a little too over the top, but still funny. People thanked me for the laugh.

But I can see that it was hurtful.

When he returned he was cold, when I understand. He wasn't impressed but remained pretty peaceful. He would do and say things that seemed unusual. We have our own "language" of noises or actions. He stopped reciprocating those. I'd say I loved him in our language and he'd just not respond with any sound at all. He started doing things he doesn't normally do, use the word "whatever" to me, his tone changed to be quite cold or patronising. He was more sarcastic than before, I couldn't say much of anything without him saying "whatever" or "yeah, i'm SURE that's what they meant" "hmph" He has started to act like a teenager would to his mother, he just seems to hate my presence 95% of the time.

He looks at his phone more than he does me, this is coming from someone who used to nag me for using my phone and said we need to talk and enjoy whatever we were doing. Now I can't get around his phone. He turns the tv off when I am watching it because "he got bored." He turns lights off that he used to leave on for me (like the lamp before I make it to the bed).
I came home lat from work, tired and said I needed food, but I couldn't think of what. (I'd missed my lunch break working and told him this) Anything would work, but I had no energy to get it. I laid down for awhile. I got up and he made a serve of food for himself and snaps at me. Me: "when you're done can you take me to the store?" "i got FED UP and made my OWN food!" "ok, never mind, sorry."
I made some cup noodles and went to the bedroom while he stayed in the living room. He slept on the couch until I went to take a shower, then swapped to the bed. I got into bed and then woke up in the night and he'd gone to the couch again. He was "hot" Which sometimes happens, but after the encounter, it felt different.

The next day I went out for dinner myself before I came home, to avoid additional drama, only to come home to the same attitude. I text him before I left work to explain my plans and then he seemed to hate me for the fact that he didn't read his phone, while he ate his microwave meal. It's ok to leave me without food, but when I did the same to him it was different.
He's just...different. I know he's mad, but this has been going on for weeks now. I don't know what to do. When I ask if he's ok, or apologise, he just ignores me. There's no way in.
He goes out of his way to ensure I know that he's unimpressed with me, but I don't know how to make it right.

tl;dr: My fiance hates me...and he's making it abundantly clear. I don't know how to fix this.

It's weird to see the rare woman-child in the wild. Doubly rare to see the woman child manage to find someone to be with for 10 years.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:08

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

54 40 or gently caress posted:

This exactly, it's a status thing to have as many people as possible whether you know them or not

Here I am, doing it wrong. I've brutally slashed my list several times. I try to keep a good mix of people, core friends I've had for years yeah, but a few almost strangers, some political/religion discussion pals, casual buddies, a few cool people I've met at parties and newer friends I've made in town over the last few years is it. That's still 48 people, which is more than I can keep tabs on most of the time.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:14

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

By the title I thought this one was going to be weird but it turned out pretty cute.

My boyfriend (24m) has a relationship bucket list. Does anyone else?

quote:

Throwaway account because I know my boyfriend trawls reddit (doubtful he checks this sub, but you never know).
I (22f) have been together with my boyfriend (24m) for about 6 months now. He is a really great guy, has his own place and a good job, has a lovely family and my parents adore him, very well spoken, liked by my friends and treats me better than anyone I have ever dated in the past. Couldn't be happier.
Recently we had sex for the first time together, and I found out afterwards that it was his first time having sex ever. Anyway, not long after this he revealed to me he has had this bit of a 'bucket list' he has always wanted to do with a partner but never had the chance. It included things such as;

Fooling around in his car
Making out in a movie theater / top of a ferris wheel
Shower Sex
PDA in General

He also reeealllyy wants a hickey, but thats probably the only thing I don't really wanna do since he has a lot of co-workers and I don't want them seeing it.

I'd been there and done that for just about everything on his list back in high school and thought most of that stuff was behind me now (if I'm paying for a movie im drat well watching it). It seems a little childish but I have decided to help him with it because I know how happy it will make him.
What are peoples thoughts on this sort of list? Do you think its weird or a cute bit of fun? Have you or a partner had a list like this in the past?
TL;DR: Boyfriend has a bucket list of intimate activities he wants to do that seem a little silly. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Her boyfriends dark fetish is getting a hickey.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:17

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

dont Flame your husband with savage Pwns, imo.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:19

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

That woman sounds awful. The guy is clearly planning his exit.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:22

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

How is giving someone a hickey a deal breaker outside of high school

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:23

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Lockback posted:

By the title I thought this one was going to be weird but it turned out pretty cute.

My boyfriend (24m) has a relationship bucket list. Does anyone else?

Her boyfriends dark fetish is getting a hickey.

The obvious solution is to give him a hickey where coworkers can't see it?

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:23

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Lockback posted:

By the title I thought this one was going to be weird but it turned out pretty cute.

My boyfriend (24m) has a relationship bucket list. Does anyone else?

Her boyfriends dark fetish is getting a hickey.

Aww, that's cute. She should be glad his list isn't poo poo like "Anal" and "MFF threesome"

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:26

Tears In A Vial: Jan 13, 2008

sinking belle posted:

dont Flame your husband with savage Pwns, imo.

But people will THANK you.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:26

ZombieJesus: Feb 26, 2005; He died for your sins, he rose for your BRAINS

WampaLord posted:

Aww, that's cute. She should be glad his list isn't poo poo like "Anal" and "MFF threesome"

Give it a couple weeks

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:29

Themata: Dec 10, 2011; If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt

"Reddit, we filled his bucket list, and now he wants to do positions other than missionary. What do?"

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:36

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

That has to be the most banal thing to get upset about in a relationship. Dude wants to do stuff she knows he didnt do as a teenager, whys she so hung up on whether or not to do it that she goes to reddit for help

Its either yes its cute or no its childish. Title made it sound like he had a bucket list of different girls to date, like date a black girl, date an asian girl etc

underage at the vape shop fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Dec 22, 2016

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:45

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

i didn't realize people even still considered ferris wheels "romantic" whenever i see them they are usually empty and my immediate thought is "stupid pet project by some rear end in a top hat city council member who wanted their name on a large object"

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:48

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

or 'deathtrap run by carnies'

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:49

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

well why not posted:

or 'deathtrap run by carnies'

yeah thats why they are always empty

# ? Dec 22, 2016 15:49

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Lockback posted:

By the title I thought this one was going to be weird but it turned out pretty cute.

My boyfriend (24m) has a relationship bucket list. Does anyone else?

Her boyfriends dark fetish is getting a hickey.

There's a lot of places to put hickeys where others can't see them.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 16:45

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

He wants the hickeys so others will know he's a sex-haver.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 16:47

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

relationship bucket list:

[x] fancy meals
[x] fancy trips
[x] sexy norwegian woman
[_] love

# ? Dec 22, 2016 16:51

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

Pick posted:

relationship bucket list:

[x] fancy meals
[x] fancy trips
[x] sexy norwegian woman
[_] love

hey dont post my relationship bucket list

# ? Dec 22, 2016 16:53

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pick posted:

relationship bucket list:

[x] fancy meals
[x] fancy trips
[x] sexy norwegian woman
[_] love

My general list
[X] Make an Art
[ ] Write an Song
[ ] Write an Book
[ ] Love
[ ] The Sweet Release of Death

# ? Dec 22, 2016 16:57

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Pvt.Scott posted:

My general list
[X] Make an Art
[ ] Write an Song
[ ] Write an Book
[ ] Love
[ ] The Sweet Release of Death

Well at least you'll get two out of five.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:04

sout: Apr 24, 2014

[ ] kiss
[ ] hand-holding
[ ] hugging
[x] virgin

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:09

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

[x]touched some dongers
[ ]tag teamed by Jude Law in a wheel chair and Ethan Hawke
[ ]someone circling "yes" on my "do you like me?" note
[ ]popcorn tub handjob

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:22

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Dienes posted:

The obvious solution is to give him a hickey where coworkers can't see it?

Maybe it's an open relationship and he plans on making moves on all their coworkers.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:25

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

My wife[32f] and I [36m] tried an open relationship and 3 � months in I am disgusted by her behavior.

quote:

My wife and I have been married for 6 years, together for 8 and we have a 3 year old daughter together. As with a lot of longer relationships, our sex life started to dwindle. For my wife, her sex life went through phases where she would want it a lot (when she started reading 50 shades) and other times where it just didn�t happen. We decided that we would try to mix things up, we went to try swinging a shot and neither of us felt it was right

. Knowing someone for a couple hours, and then going to full on penetration felt awkward. To add to it, there were rarely any attractive couples, most people were older and fat. My wife suggested we try an open relationship, we would both be honest to each other, and the main point of the point was to be an extracurricular aspect. Most of our energy would go into making our marriage better so after months of talking we finally agreed to it.

I started off by making a Tinder account, and then my wife got upset that I was �looking for something� when she wanted the relationship to come to me. I deleted the account like she asked.

Then about a month in, she says she is going to go on a coffee date with this guy. I reluctantly agreed, however the day of when she was going on her date she said something that really irked me. She wanted to call it quits, because she felt like she didn�t look hot enough for him. I know she was trying to make a good impression but seriously? Not hot enough for him, but she never tries that hard with her appearance for me. Then things got worse, when their relationship went physical, she rarely would want to have sex with me, she said she felt worn out and said the next day.

Next day would come and she still wouldn�t want to. Plus every time she went out I would be responsible for our daughter and the household chores. Before opening up our relationship we had once or twice a week, after opening up, it went down to once every two weeks, and the sex was worse. Then one thing happened that really got me upset. My wife came home from the other guy�s house, and later that night we went to have sex. However, I noticed that her rear end in a top hat looked bruise,

I asked her what happened, and I realized that she had anal sex with the other guy. She started crying and I ended up leaving the house. At that point I lost it, I know to a lot of you this will come off as silly.

However, for the longest time I have tried to get my wife to try anal sex with me, it�s one of my top fantasies. And now I see that she hosed this random guy, but not me. She tried to tell me it just 'happened' however she didn't explain why she didn't tell him to stop.

At that point I was considering getting a lawyer and divorcing her there however I chose not to. I don�t want to break up our family. My wife said she will end the open relationship however I don�t even know. I feel ripped off because I couldn�t even sleep with one person. While she had a relationship for a couple months with another guy. Plus, I don�t view sex with my wife the same anymore, after the whole incident.

She said we can have anal sex, however I don't even want to anymore that whole thing has been ruined for me. Emotionally I want to call it quits, however rationally I want to preserve my family. We have went to couple�s counseling however it is terribly expensive, and we don�t feel that it is effective. So I am coming to you all for advice. What do we do? tl;dr - Wife and I tried an open relationship, ended up with me hating her guts. I want to break up, however I don't want to ruin our family.

open and shut

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:26

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

this couple's first idea to solve a dwindling sex life was to gently caress other people

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:30

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My wife[32f] and I [36m] tried an open relationship and 3 � months in I am disgusted by her behavior.
open and shut

This is dumb and the dude got played. Wife shut down tinder cause she wanted side dick but wasn't comfortable with the husband getting any.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:31

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

quote:

For my wife, her sex life went through phases where she would want it a lot (when she started reading 50 shades)

I only made it as far as here before I burst out laughing.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:32

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

Yeah, for once I actually feel bad for the guy. He's getting hosed over here, and not in the fun way.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

That woman sucks and she should have just left if that's how she felt. A lot of women cheat because they've emotionally checked out, but if you've emotionally checked out just break up with the guy, it doesn't make you the "better" one if you're out getting strange and then he dumps you. I mean what the loving hell, what a stupid-rear end loving game.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

That woman sucks and she should have just left if that's how she felt. A lot of women cheat because they've emotionally checked out, but if you've emotionally checked out just break up with the guy, it doesn't make you the "better" one if you're out getting strange and then he dumps you. I mean what the loving hell, what a stupid-rear end loving game.

e: oops

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:36

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Also I know he was probably hitting it from behind and noticed the bruising, but it's a lot funnier to imagine he conducts random butthole inspections or tries to sneak peeks just to check.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:36

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

Charles Get-Out posted:

Also I know he was probably hitting it from behind and noticed the bruising, but it's a lot funnier to imagine he conducts random butthole inspections or tries to sneak peeks just to check.

Hey, if she likes 50 shades (ugh) she may find she likes getting inspected :wiggle:

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:39

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

lol that this guy didn't immediately call out his wife when she met the guy for coffee after shutting down his Tinder.

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

There's a serious pattern in these stories of people being loving cowards. Really, cowards, there's no other way to put it.

If you want to leave, leave. Don't do petty weird twisty poo poo to try to get whatever thing you want and still score martyr points. If you don't want to date a person any more, dump that person. Don't cheat until they can't handle it any more, or "open the relationship" so your former beau still pays half your rent while crying in the shower. What the gently caress is wrong with people?

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:42

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Pick posted:

stupid rear end-loving game.

heh

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:43

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

quote:

Most of our energy would go into making our marriage better so after months of talking we finally agreed to it.

I've seen this concept in plenty of these stories. Do they think they're sexual vampires sucking the energy from outside people so they can use it on their marriage? Are they trying to justify it by promising they'll fix their problems if they get to gently caress other people?

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:44

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 05:21

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I've seen this concept in plenty of these stories. Do they think they're sexual vampires sucking the energy from outside people so they can use it on their marriage? Are they trying to justify it by promising they'll fix their problems if they get to gently caress other people?

Excuse the quality and subtitles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJLIbtLXqd4

# ? Dec 22, 2016 17:49

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