Gaunab posted:

I [24f] just got a look at my boyfriend's [25m] relationship with his mother [in her 50s] and it's giving me doubts about getting engaged next year.

We've been dating for a year and plan on moving in together after getting engaged (his family is religious so this is already pushing it). I'm currently visiting my boyfriend's parents for the first time with him.

Typically my boyfriend helps me with chores and cleaning after I cook us a dinner. He sometimes takes some nudging to not procrastinate on things and definitely is messier than I am. Overall though I wasn't too concerned about him pulling his weight in chores in the future until now.

At his mom's house he expects her to do everything even though she's working and we're on vacation. We've argued several times about cleaning our dishes and tidying the living area before she arrives home. He also asks her to make and bring him things as soon as she arrives home from work or when she's clearly busy. He also told her his toilet needed to be cleaned instead of doing it himself.

I was especially horrified when I came downstairs this morning to see him playing Mario while his elderly mother shoveled snow and ice off the sidewalk before leaving for work. He refused to join me in helping her and just said she should have made his (even older) father do it before he left for work... at 4am. He even said we couldn't go out today until his mom got home and could find an old, warmer, jacket for him without attempting to locate it himself first. I found it in the first place I looked.

Now I'm questioning how helpful he'll be when we live together after the excitement of our relationship wears off for a daily routine. He insists he'll always help me and won't treat me like his mom. He even acknowledges we should raise our kids to do their own chores and to help out but refuses to do the same for his mother. He makes fun of me or gets annoyed at me for helping with cleaning and cooking when his mother "wants" to do it. I'm too embarrassed to follow his lead and worried that someday that attitude will apply to how he sees me too.

tl;dr: My boyfriend treats his mom like a house elf and I'm not convinced when he swears he'll never treat me like that. Is this a red flag and what do I do about it?

Nazzadan posted:

"Alright honey, I brought over the large negro gentleman like you asked me to, are you ready to come watch?"

"Cucking? Oh god no honey, that's so last month. Now I want you to pretend he's your stepbrother who hypnotized you."

corn on the cop posted:

Gaunab posted:

MAH GET THE MEATLOAF!!! MAAAAAAH!

504 posted:

Handy tip: Sometime people have showers (brace yourself) NOT explicitly for the purpose of getting clean! There are... things.. that are pleasurable to do in warm water. This requires more than one person, sometimes even more than two!

corn on the cop posted:

[b]

Carrion Luggage posted:

getting pissed on seem to be the most practiced team sport in the showering event


Handy Tip : shower sex loving sucks, water is the anti sex

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Showering with your partner is fun even without sex.

504 posted:

Why are you showering with my partner??

504 posted:

The vast vast vast majority of people showering together are not pissing on each other

You're doing it wrong.

quote:

Me [35 M] found out my wife [29 F] of 4 years has been messaging a guy that openly told her she was his first true love to which she suggested they hang out

I was looking through my wife's Facebook messages and found a conversation between her and a guy friend (call him SB) from her past that she hasn't spoken to in years. She messaged him a few weeks ago to tell him another friend had seen SB's band at a random show and that she was happy to hear SB was doing well with his music.

This lead to a few messages reminiscing about them hanging out back in high school, which then turned into SB professing to my wife that she was his first true love (even though they never dated or even hooked up as far as I know) and that any girl he has ever been intimate with, he always sees my wife in her because that's the kind of influence she had on him. He tells her she was his light in the dark and thanks her for always being so nice to him back then, and that he was sure she had forgotten about him.

My wife replies that she's happy to have been his light in the dark, thanks him for always putting her on a pedestal and makes a comment about how she always felt so safe and comfortable around him and tells him they'll be BFF's forever and that she couldn't ever forget him.

The last few messages were them talking about how SB used to be straight edge and how he's a pot head now, and my wife suggesting they should hang out and smoke a fat joint some time and have some laughs.

They haven't messaged since Dec 11, but I can't stop thinking about these messages. I only found them by going into my wife's Facebook, so I'm already guilty of not trusting her and now I feel like I have a legitimate reason to feel that way. Am I just being overly jealous or do I have a legitimate reason to not want my wife hanging out with this guy?

TL;DR wife messaged an old guy friend randomly about his band, old guy friend confesses his love for my wife, wife suggests they hang out

Pvt.Scott posted:

The shower stories I've heard have all involved pee and it being hilarious.

Carrion Luggage posted:

did you ask the vast majority of people or are you projecting your prude ways?

Carrion Luggage posted:

vast majority of non prude people pee on each other and laugh rather than post on reddit about it

Carrion Luggage posted:

Handy Tip : shower sex loving sucks, water is the anti sex

Ranma Fan Art posted:

how are so many incompatible people married to each other what a world we live in

posted:

Friend (30f) is blaming me (29f) for her hook up / regret

A friend just got out of a bad relationship and wanted to hook up with a guy. And she asked me if that's wrong. I told her she should do what makes her happy and I'd have her back whether she does or not.
After she hooked up with him, she regretted it. She told another mutual friend that I had encouraged her to hook up with the guy which I never did. They were already hanging out and she already told me her intentions with him were not serious.
I'm just annoyed that she's going around telling people that I encouraged something I didn't do.

Tldr: friend hooked up with a guy then regretted it, then told everyone I encouraged her even tho I never did. What should I do? I feel like poo poo

corn on the cop posted:

I [24f] just got a look at my boyfriend's [25m] relationship with his mother [in her 50s] and it's giving me doubts about getting engaged next year.

Scudworth posted:

Guess that age!

quote:

Tl;Dr neighbor heard my dog barking for like an hour, he knocked on my door, gf answered flustered and said she had to put him in a room temporarily and then an hr later sees her getting into a coworkers car and leaving
Yesterday my neighbor told me he thought my girlfriend cheated. We don't live together but she visits often and has a spare key. On Wednesday around mid day he heard my dog, a Labrador barking like crazy, my dog never barks for very long and especially not inside. He also adores my girlfriend so my neighbor was really concerned and knocked on my apartment door. She answered the door and apparently looked really red in the face. To quote him 'she looked like someone who'd been having sex not a couple minutes ago'.
He asked if everything was okay and she said yes, that she brought me something for Christmas and was setting it up but had to put my dog in a spare room while she handled it. He asked if she needed some help but she said no and shut the door.
My dog continued barking for another hour and then an hour later my girlfriend was getting into a strange car with some other man, both dressed like they were heading to the office. He said she was wearing a shirt and shorts when she answered the door. There's also nothing, anywhere in my apartment that has anything she could have set up for me and my Labrador is friendly enough, even with strangers that if some new person comes into my apartment he doesn't bark for ages.
I know it was her coworker from the car description, a new guy of about 7 months who has been hanging with her and her coworkers on Fridays and we've even met quite a few times. poo poo, I bought this rear end in a top hat a beer. I really, really want to believe she didn't cheat but it seems the most likely thing to have happened. My place is also not 15 minutes from where she works so it makes sense she wouldn't pay for a motel room or even go an hour away to hers if she wanted to do that.
Does it sound like she cheated? What do you all think? I don't know how to even start dealing with this potential nasty mess.

Giraffe posted:

Me (27m) with my gf of 4 years (26f), my neighbor has a strong suspicion she cheated and it adds up, idk what to do?

Relax, buddy, I'm sure she and her coworker were just planning you a nice surprise party.

quote:

Misadventures of a Poly Lez: Keeping it Professional

So, I'm hoping to get some advice from y'all. And I'm hoping I'm posting this in the right place.

I [F, 26] have fallen for my coworker [F, 26]. However, the situation is complicated by the fact that she is quickly becoming a good friend as well. We frequently hang out after work and on weekends.

Now, for the real problems:

First, she's straight. Or at least she's pretty sure she is. She often laments about not having any cute guys around.

Second, I'm in a 6+ plus relationship. Both me and my partner [F, 28] are polyamorous, so outside relationships are not a problem for us. However, that's often a hang up for people who are really just looking for their "one and only."

Third, our work has a vague yet threatening "fraternization policy," which probably only applies to managers and subordinates, but is scary enough to make people think twice when considering dating coworkers.

So, basically, what this girl seems to want is a cute, single boy who is not a coworker. Three things I am not.

I'm struggling with that fact that I see her 8+ hours a day (I sit right next to her), and that we're friends outside of work, so we're a lot more casual with each other, even at work.

I am so torn. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure I have no shot with her, and I don't want to soil both a good friendship and a good professional relationship. On the other hand...I've fallen hard for her. And we all know how compelling that can be.

Please advise.

tl;dr Fell for my presumably straight, presumably monogamous coworker, who is also a friend. I'm poly, lesbian, and in a relationship. Not sure what to do.