/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

poo poo yourself in front of him

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:13

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# ? May 9, 2024 11:05

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

lol why is she even questioning if he wants in her pants

you dont buy a friend a $1000 necklace. you buy it for your long term girlfriend and only if she likes jewelry and doesn't think it's silly spending so much on a necklace

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:37

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

My 24m girlfriend 23f REALLY likes biting. I don't.

How hard is it for this dude to give his nutty girlfriend an ultimatum about the biting, as opposed to pointlessly asking reddit???? It's incredibly weird that he sticks around the relationship when she never quits biting him and she also does it outside of the bedroom all the time. Yikes.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:38

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

How hard is it for this dude to give his nutty girlfriend an ultimatum about the biting, as opposed to asking reddit???? It's incredibly weird that he sticks around the relationship when she never quits biting him and she also does it outside of the bedroom all the time. Yikes.

maybe its their first relationship and they dont have the experience to have the confidence to say stop or leave. or just really insecure.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:39

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

underage at the vape shop posted:

lol why is she even questioning if he wants in her pants

you dont buy a friend a $1000 necklace. you buy it for your long term girlfriend and only if she likes jewelry and doesn't think it's silly spending so much on a necklace

I actually had a guy ask me the etiquette re: gifting jewelry the other day. Granted he was most certainly not buying a $1000 Tiffany necklace for a crush. I told him unless he's her boyfriend it's probably better not to even attempt it simply because women have completely varying tastes and it's easy to get it wrong. Hell my boyfriend has struck out on jewelry occasionally and he's known me for years and knows what types of things I wear.

That guy is definitely a major nice guy and put her in an unnecessary uncomfortable position. If he's interested he should have just told her that ages ago and then she could have set him straight and then he wouldn't be buying her very expensive jewelry as a "friend." Use your words, guys.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:44

subhuman filth: Nov 1, 2006

she then opened the clamshell box to reveal 3 weeks of my rancid loads

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:54

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Here's a cute short one:

quote:

I [30 F] have always identified as a lesbian but recently find myself attracted to a man [28 M] not sure what to do?

I have been 'attracted' to certain guys in a way that there have been a few (like 5?) Who have stood out so to speak throughout my life. I have very much always been attracted to women however and dated them exclusively. However for some reason I find myself looking at this guys photos, wanting to speak to him, considering inviting him out etc. Part of me wants to go ahead and explore but I'm frightened that will find the attraction vanish and ill have gotten involved in something I'd need to get out of.. I also fear judgement. Do I proceed? How do I explain my position to this man? It is definitely more of a physical thing, I like the way he LOOKS - something striking about him. I want to see if there could be more development to this as I've found myself becoming more.open to more masculine women over the last few years so I'm thinking maybe that was a sign of fluidity? Has anyone please got any experiences like this? I don't want anyone to be harmed, myself or him or anyone.

Tl;Dr: have always been a lesbian but randomly drawn to the occasional man. Never perused it before. Should I? Is there anything I should consider that I haven't already?

Gaunab fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Dec 26, 2016

# ? Dec 26, 2016 02:58

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Here's some adoption family drama:

quote:

I [25M] was separated from my sister [22F] at age 6. We're reunited as adults. Her adoptive family want money or else they'll destroy our relationship.

When I was 6 and my sister was 3, we lost our parents. A couple adopted my sister soon after that however I was left behind. Seeing her getting taken away was very difficult for me. Another couple adopted me a year later. We grew up away from each other.

When I was 19, I tried looking for her and found her. I talked to her parents and they were very hostile. They said they didn't adopt me because I was too old and they were afraid that I'm too damaged, they said I'll bring her down and it's best for her to live free from me. They said she doesn't know she's adopted and they'll do everything in their power to protect her from me if I don't leave her alone. So I stayed away until she was 18.

My adoptive family are very wealthy. However in that interaction I never showed or hinted that I have access to money (my mom's suggestion). I went to them by bus. I think that just helped get an unbiased perspective.

After my sister turned 18 I went directly to her and told her everything and surprisingly she told me that she always knew she was adopted (her parents lied to me). So we started getting to know each other and getting close. Her family never seemed eager to have anything to do with me until they learned about the wealth (through a gift that I had bought for her) about 9-10 months ago. That's when they became nice, wanted me around and I always kept them at an arms length.

So today, of all days, I received a call from her mom and she told me that they've had enough of me and this is how things are going to be. Either I start paying them $2500 a month indefinitely in cash or they'll make sure my sister will hate me for the rest of her life. She said she knows her daughter better than anyone and how to make her believe anything. She wants me to consider this as payments for raising my sister!

In two days, my sister and I are flying to have a New Years' vacation in Europe. Her mom says she wants an answer by the time we're back. She says as long as I pay up she'll stay out of my way.

How do I deal with this crazy woman? I don't want my sister to get hurt in the middle of all this. I know if I tell my sister about it, her mom will deny and will try to turn this around on me and will tell her that I'm trying to destroy her relationship with them. I need a tactful way to make sure that this is handled well and I'm not the one who gets blamed.

tl;dr: Sister and I were separated and adopted by different families. Her adoptive family want me to pay them $2500 a month indefinitely or else they'll turn her on me and destroy our relationship.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 03:03

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Gaunab posted:

Here's a cute short one:

Why do so many people have trouble with bisexuality

# ? Dec 26, 2016 03:22

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
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dee doot doot
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dee doot doot; College Slice

Gaunab posted:

Here's some adoption family drama:

Tell adoptive mom you want to arrange for payment, put her on speakerphone in front of estranged sister.
Probably won't help the situation, but it would be entertaining.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:11

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Just tell the sister. Sounds like she's already aware of the levels of deception of her family.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:18

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Dienes posted:

Tell adoptive mom you want to arrange for payment, put her on speakerphone in front of estranged sister.
Probably won't help the situation, but it would be entertaining.

this is the correct answer. some sort of evidence needs to be gathered.

alternatively start giving your sister $2500 a month

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:22

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Rutibex posted:

this is the correct answer. some sort of evidence needs to be gathered.

alternatively start giving your sister $2500 a month

Make the mother put it in writing.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:27

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Improbable Lobster posted:

Why do so many people have trouble with bisexuality

People have this weird idea that bisexuality is incompatible with monogamy, or if you're in a heterosexual relationship that you're somehow just pretending to like both to gain entry to gay/lesbian spaces.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:27

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Gaunab posted:

Here's a cute short one:

People really need to get over their sexuality as this binary ideal. As long as she's in a safe, healthy, and enjoyable relationship, who really cares? I don't get it.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:27

slouch: Mar 10, 2009

Improbable Lobster posted:

Why do so many people have trouble with bisexuality

Because sexuality is usually deeply tied to identity and someone who has spent years being gay is probably not looking forward to upending everything they think they know about themselves. Also being an open and identifying gay person can lead to a lot of shame about being "fake gay" or "fake straight" or this being proof that it was "just a phase." This is especially true for women for some reason afaict. My bisexual GF has had a number of her LGBTQ friends talk to her like she isn't queer at all because they have seen us together and it often makes her feel like an outsider in her social circle.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:29

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Incoherence posted:

People have this weird idea that bisexuality is incompatible with monogamy, or if you're in a heterosexual relationship that you're somehow just pretending to like both to gain entry to gay/lesbian spaces.

It is certainly seems less compatible with monogamy. There's a lot of cases where couples allow their bi partner a gay side piece, in order not to deny them the full expression of their sexuality.

there is always the nagging worry that a bi person can not be satisfied giving up half of their sexuality forever, putting an inevitable time limit on any relationship with them

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:34

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

That's stupid tho.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:36

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Rutibex posted:

It is certainly seems less compatible with monogamy. There's a lot of cases where couples allow their bi partner a gay side piece, in order not to deny them the full expression of their sexuality.

there is always the nagging worry that a bi person can not be satisfied giving up half of their sexuality forever, putting an inevitable time limit on any relationship with them

As a bi dude, that's dumb as hell, lol

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:51

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Rutibex posted:

It is certainly seems less compatible with monogamy. There's a lot of cases where couples allow their bi partner a gay side piece, in order not to deny them the full expression of their sexuality.

there is always the nagging worry that a bi person can not be satisfied giving up half of their sexuality forever, putting an inevitable time limit on any relationship with them

speak for yourself buddy, we already know your insatiable lust for cock.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 04:57

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

Rutibex posted:

It is certainly seems less compatible with monogamy. There's a lot of cases where couples allow their bi partner a gay side piece, in order not to deny them the full expression of their sexuality.

there is always the nagging worry that a bi person can not be satisfied giving up half of their sexuality forever, putting an inevitable time limit on any relationship with them

Or you just pick one person you generally like boning the most like any other goddamn human being on the planet.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:01

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Yeah that isn't how bisexual people work.

You got conned into an open relationship.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:07

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

CharlestheHammer posted:

.
You got conned into an open relationship.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Benagain posted:

Or you just pick one person you generally like boning the most like any other goddamn human being on the planet.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:18

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

lol reminds me of that post where the guy realized he was oppressing his wife's femininity by not encouraging her to have sex with any guy she wants to. You're oppressing half of my sexual identity!!!

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:20

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

lol reminds me of that post where the guy realized he was oppressing his wife's femininity by not encouraging her to have sex with any guy she wants to. You're oppressing half of my sexual identity!!!

That guy was a stay at home dad, it's like a 50's housewife with a poon-hound husband except he letting slide because of feminism instead of shame.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 05:36

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Benagain posted:

Or you just pick one person you generally like boning the most like any other goddamn human being on the planet.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 06:09

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

I have known a real-life bi stereotype who would tell people he entered into relationships with that he would only be exclusive as to people of their sex, and that he would not agree that loving the other half of the populace was cheating.

I knew several people who agreed to these terms, at least temporarily, but in their defense, this was an extremely attractive lovely person. And hey, points for communication. :v:

# ? Dec 26, 2016 07:12

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

Haha drat I want to kick the abusive "my girlfriend is weak" guy right in his pathetic dick. I couldn't find the post, please tell me the comments were appropriately hateful towards him

# ? Dec 26, 2016 08:39

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

also last night I dreamt that a movie called Berth Ell Pup came out, maybe I should take a break from this thread. Berth Ell Pup.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 08:40

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

sinking belle posted:

also last night I dreamt that a movie called Berth Ell Pup came out, maybe I should take a break from this thread. Berth Ell Pup.

Translated for American audiences as "Johnny and the bullisauras"

# ? Dec 26, 2016 09:34

Agentdark: Dec 30, 2007; Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much?

sinking belle posted:

also last night I dreamt that a movie called Berth Ell Pup came out, maybe I should take a break from this thread. Berth Ell Pup.

Dont worry, as long as it has not started popping up randomly in your head during your day to day life, I am sure you are fine.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 09:34

Nuclear War: Nov 7, 2012; You're a pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty girl

Cumslut1895 posted:

Translated for American audiences as "Johnny and the bullisauras"

Meet the Chads

# ? Dec 26, 2016 09:44

Malkof: Oct 13, 2001; Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

One of the comments:

It's simple! To ensure a mentally and physically stable relationship, just muzzle your girlfriend when you come into close contact.

Get her a Kong and put some peanut butter in it.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 10:44

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

My 24m girlfriend 23f REALLY likes biting. I don't.

I'll apologize for my attempted derail with actual content.

Glad to hear my ex-GF is doing well.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 11:02

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

How about this for advice

quote:

I can tell you from personal experience (having eaten out over 10 women) the taste is nearly all the same all the time.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 12:27

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Benagain posted:

Or you just pick one person you generally like boning the most like any other goddamn human being on the planet.

Look, you can't just come in here handing out sensible, logical advice willy-nilly.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 13:34

ravenkult: Feb 3, 2011

sinking belle posted:

also last night I dreamt that a movie called Berth Ell Pup came out, maybe I should take a break from this thread. Berth Ell Pup.

Oh cool, I love viking movies.

# ? Dec 26, 2016 14:07

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Ratjaculation posted:

How about this for advice

Maybe you're not as lesbian as you think you are? :q:

# ? Dec 26, 2016 14:29

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# ? May 9, 2024 11:05

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Agentdark posted:

Dont worry, as long as it has not started popping up randomly in your head during your day to day life, I am sure you are fine.

there's a fitness/health food type cafe near my work called Prep Fitness Kitchen and I can no longer go in :negative:

# ? Dec 26, 2016 14:30

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