ArbitraryC posted:

I was about to say simply head over to D&D particularly the threads on social politics and there will be people talking about how you should be aggressively engaging anyone who says anything you find offensive.

Workplace event gone wrong (self.legaladvice) posted:

First off I am in Canada, BC.

Friday was a Christmas event at work. There was drinking and no work and events such as a silent live auction, games, sumo wresting, shooter bar and dance floor. all kinds of stuff. I had fun, too much fun and i need to gets some advice.

I started drinking at 10, i have a splash of bourbon in my coffee and headed down to watch a game between the different divisions. this lasts half an hour. then I help clean up. Then i go and play some NES games until 11. I sit at my desk for a while and have some coffee. 11:15 i get up and grab another drink an egnog and rum. i drink this back at my desk. at 12 o'clock lunch rolls the auction ends and lunch rolls around. i go and eat some lunch. afterwards i grab a beer. drink it with coworkers, 1 oclock now turns out a coworker brought in some home made beer. so i have a 3 small glasses of beer dixie cup small. 3pm rolls around and its the live auction. I have a apple cider here and watch. after i talk with some people grab an egnog and head down to the arena. a sumo wrestling set up had been going on. 4 oclock this ends I participated and won a medal. I slowly go upstairs and visit and am given one shot. i then head outside for a little bit at 4:49 my fiance had come to pick me up, she had missed my text letting her know it would be an all night thing.I stay here till 5. break my medal go inside. put the medal in my desk and grab a drink off the table. then i Forget everything. I have no idea what happened after i drank that drink on the table. i remember with detail talking with my fiancee in the car. asking her if i could stay and she will get me later, i was having fun at the event. showing her the text she missed. Then I have random flashes. i fell climbing stairs with my coat on. I was being told its time to go home. Ushered onto a bus. and get home. I was asleep by 8. early morning i woke up having hot and cold flashes. a pain in my head really bad. i forced myself to drink water and an advil and laid in bed for a long time drinking more water.eventually i felt quite a bit better. felt like an absolute fool that I got black out Drunk immediately after telling my fiancee it was going well. but whatever. i dont normally do dumb poo poo when drunk. i fall down. thats about it. so we go and hang around town, do some Christmas stuff. I run into my boss at 3 PM Saturday. He asked about my hangover. i told him i was feeling pretty good, had a bit of a headache when i woke up but that passed quickly. that was it. figured okay good nothing embarrassing happened or he would have said something. today (Monday) I'm called into his office a bit before lunch and he tells me I have been accused of touching a woman butox on 3 occasions. he wanted my side of the story. I told him i dont have anything to say my memory is gone which is weird and i dont know why. Yes i was drinking but i have drank more in less time and still remembered. Unless i drank a lot in the period of time i cant remember. Something he asked stood out to me. He asked how it happened slowly or all at once.

I have the slight suspicion that the drink on the table i drank. after speaking with my fiance was drugged. Is it worth getting tested still. should i go to my doctor and ask.

Sorry for the poorly worded and formatted pile i just needed to get this out. how do i handle the Sexual Assault/harassment allegations? i remember nothing. what should i do about the potential that i might have been drugged?

TL:DR; Got blackout drunk at work function, i suspect a change of being drugged. the morning following i get told someone reported me touching her but 3 times. UI don't remember

Thank you

quote:

My (29f) Brother (32m) refuses to spend holidays with our family but expects us to come to his made up holidays instead. Help!

Hey! You all gave me some good insight in another post I made so I wanted to throw this situation out to you and see what you all think. It's an odd situation, at least I think so, and I could use some outside perspective.

Ok here goes; my brother has a beautiful wife and two amazing kids, I love them all to death. He's always been a bit socially awkward but most people tend to look past that but I feel this has something to do with the situation at hand.

About 4 years ago he decided that his family was no longer going to participate in Holidays due to his new found beliefs. My family is huge and we always go all out for the holidays, lots of people, lots of food, drinks, music, games, it's always a blast and has given him and I awesome memories growing up. Up until 4 years ago him and his children participated in these fun celebrations and everyone always had a great time, so we're all confused why it's suddenly off limits. I AM NOT bashing his "religion" but I'm horribly confused because he doesn't even know what he believes, example most people say they're catholic, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Wiccan, etc, he doesn't know what to call his belief.

Basically he refuses to participate in any of our holidays now and has even go as far as telling his kids (my niece and nephew) that we are all going to hell for celebrating these holidays on the given dates. Yes, he's telling young children that their family will burn for their participation, It's disturbing, albeit part of his "belief".

Now the weirdest part is for Christmas the past few years he has avoided all of our family celebrations but holds a separate dinner and gift giving day on a different date and expects us all to show up with gifts for him and his kids. When confronted about this he says his main issue with Christmas is the date itself as it goes against his new beliefs to participate in any holiday event on the 25th of December...So he keeps his family away from the big, fun celebration, refuses to wish us merry christmas, will not participate in the christmas parades or light festivals BUT he still hosts a big dinner with gifts within the following week.

I can't wrap my head around this. To me this blatantly seems like materialism. He won't participate in the big family event but still wants to give and receive gifts?!? You see I would definitely be able to respect his "beliefs" if he had a solid reason for WHY he won't bring his family around on the real holiday and did NOT give and exchange gifts as that would sound like he wanted to teach his children to be humble and focus on other things etc

My dilemma is that I don't want to go to his dinner this week. My family had an amazing time yesterday where family from near and far came under one roof and had a blast. Why he kept his children from this i will never know, it's cruel and confusing to them. So now his dinner is approaching and of course only a fraction of the family will attend as it does not fit in with their holiday time off. He expects everyone attending to bring gifts, it's like a fake christmas and honestly I'm so done with it. Why should I go out of my way to attend his bizarre gift centered dinner when he can't show up to the event we all plan and exert so much energy into?!

Should I go but not bring gifts? I know this would look awful but HE looks awful for demonstrating to his children that gift giving is the only important part and not getting the whole family together as tradition has gone. Should I just not go at all? I'm so angry, I thought it was a phase he would get over but so far it's not and I'm sick of bending backwards to get more gifts and set aside more time for something that doesn't even make sense.

Help me reddit, should I respect him and his family and show up with gifts as asked? Should I avoid it all together? What would YOU do if your sibling suddenly abandoned all family holidays due to the "date" being inferior, but hold a fake holiday celebration so they can still get the presents and out of it?!

tl;dr: Brother's new belief makes him avoid all holidays. He refuses to celebrate Christmas with us on the 25th but holds a separate dinner where we are all expected to bring him and his family gifts as if it's Christmas. He tells his children that those who participate on the 25th are going to hell but they're safe because they celebrate on a different date. I don't want to go this year and I certainly don't want to bring gifts. What should I do?!

*ETA/UPDATE: * First of all thank you for all the insight, it's really helping to talk about this and get some of this poo poo out of my head and into a thread. I made the decision to not attend the dinner on Wednesday. I will bring the kids their gifts on a day not associated with this bizarre ordeal as I love them very much and want them to know I'm always here for them and thinking of them. Family is disappointed that I won't be attending but they're not making it a dramatic situation which I'm grateful for. I just want to enjoy the remainder of 2016 with my husband and children and avoid the stress my brother's mental state is bringing on me. Hopefully next year will bring a change of heart and mind, time will tell.

naptalan posted:

The most wonderful time of the year

Another redditor with a career-ruining Christmas party:

CharlestheHammer posted:

You should aggressively engage them.

That doesnt mean while they are asleep and naked tho.

ArbitraryC posted:

You really shouldn't continue to discuss things with someone when they say that they do not want to discuss that thing with you anymore, obvious exceptions aside.

Pick posted:

If a guy were watching porn when my family was around, and I saw it, I would say "Why the gently caress are you watching porn you loving scumbag gently caress-o?" and turn to my folks and say, "Can you BELIEVE this piece of poo poo?" and then I'd throw him out because what the hell.

Pick posted:

If a guy were watching porn when my family was around, and I saw it, I would say "Why the gently caress are you watching porn you loving scumbag gently caress-o?" and turn to my folks and say, "Can you BELIEVE this piece of poo poo?" and then I'd throw him out because what the hell.

empty sea posted:

Unironically same. But I'd be laughing the whole time because holy poo poo dude

Pick posted:

If a guy were watching porn when my family was around, and I saw it, I would say "Why the gently caress are you watching porn you loving scumbag gently caress-o?" and turn to my folks and say, "Can you BELIEVE this piece of poo poo?" and then I'd throw him out because what the hell.

Dienes posted:

What would you do if he then looked you in the eye and said, "That is so hot."

Dienes posted:

What would you do if he then looked you in the eye and said, "That is so hot."

Pick posted:

If a guy were watching porn when my family was around, and I saw it, I would say "Why the gently caress are you watching porn you loving scumbag gently caress-o?" and turn to my folks and say, "Can you BELIEVE this piece of poo poo?" and then I'd throw him out because what the hell.

JFairfax posted:

but also lol at idiot people who have porn addictions. loving losers.

Cumslut1895 posted:

Prep the bull

Dienes posted:

What would you do if he then looked you in the eye and said, "That is so hot."

quote:

My [59F] husband [58M] caused a scene when my grandson left after christmas. He's upset because he likes Black Panther the most

I'm new to this whole internet advice thing so please be patient, I also live in America but english is not my first language. I come from France, so my english is not good.

My grandson is obsessed with the Marvel Movies. I think that is the most case with alot of people. My son works as a special effects artist for Disney. My grandson has seen all the marvel movies and he's in love with a character called Black Panther. He said he saw him , something about catching arrows, beating metal arm up and running faster than cars. I have not seen the movie that's just what he told me.

For christmas my grandson got a whole lot of black panther merchandise. He got this black panther teddy that speaks to you when you press it. He sat with it the entire day.

My husband was upset the entire time. He was going on about how you can barely understand what the guy in the movie is saying. He can't just be like other kids and like spiderman or the rest of the marvel characters. He was upset because he ignored some of the presents and wanted to play with his black panther toys. He got annoyed when my grandson showed me a clip of black panther saying " I don't care." on youtube. He's saying it's not normal to like Black Panther. Please what do I do about my husband?

TL;DR: Husband is mad grandson likes black panther.

CharlestheHammer posted:

I honestly can't tell if the dude is racist or is autistic and just has a marvel character tier list.

CharlestheHammer posted:

I honestly can't tell if the dude is racist or is autistic and just has a marvel character tier list.

Gaunab posted:

Jesus Christ posted:

quote:

My [23F] Coworker [20sM] Makes consistent rear end in a top hat comments about my height. I need to make it stop.

I know this is all going to sound petty and stupid. It is. Before we get into it, I'm 5'10", so yes. Very tall.

Okay so I'm relatively new to the company (5 months). When I got hired I was accepted into my "work friends" group within a few weeks. My work friends are pretty sweet people. They're a bunch of 20s -early 30s men and women. The problem coworker (who will be named Sam) is someone I see pretty consistently at work but he's not a direct part of the friend group. He kind of phases in and out of the group.

So the issue began pretty soon after I was hired. The first time Sam saw me I was squatting in front of a file cabinet because I needed papers in the last drawer. He came over to introduce himself and I stood up. I regularly heels so I was probably 6'1"ish. He was shocked. I mean SHOCKED. He backed up and everything. He immediately asked how tall I am which is pretty typical so we went down the entire is your family tall? Do you play basketball? Volleyball? question list. People are usually satisfied after that. He wasn't. Sam went on to ask why I wear heels, why don't I wear flats, do men approach ever me, I must have so much trouble dating. All on the first day of us knowing each other.

So time goes on. My work friend group goes out to a bar/lounge pretty often and I was invited to tag along. The first couple times Sam wasn't there and I had an amazing time with everyone. Sam then started attending and things became less fun lol. I'm not saying I'm a supermodel, but I'm pretty drat cute. I don't have issues getting hit on in most settings.

So, Sam happened to see a guy ordering me a drink. The guy and I are having a nice time together and then he leaves to go to the bathroom. When he gets back, he tells me a weirdo (Sam) approached him in the bathroom to ask him if he knew how tall I was or if I had been "hiding it" by sitting down all night. This guy approached me when I was standing at the bar. No surprises. I didn't confront Sam but I made a huge deal about swapping numbers with the guy so Sam would hear. "I'd love to see you again!! This was so fun!" That kinda stuff.

So moving on, another time at a bar. Sam managed to attach himself to a girl for the night. We're all talking and she starts giving me a couple of compliments. So like buzzed girls do, we call each other beautiful and start talking about fashion and makeup and stuff. She makes a height based compliment about my legs being long. Sam cuts in to say men don't even care about stuff like legs being long, especially if the girl is too tall. He repeats that as long as the girl is petite, her legs are perfect no matter what. The day is saved when a guy comes over offering me a drink and I can hang out with him and escape the bullshit for the rest of the night.

I don't know what to do or what to say. Since then Sam has tried to make me measure myself "because he knows he's 5'9" so there's no way I can be that much taller than him if I'm not lying about my height." He's judged my eating habits because I eat more in one sitting than he does, so I "eat like a guy". Hes tried reaching for my hand so we can compare hand sizes.

I'm going crazy. I feel like the next time he says something to me I'm going to snap. I need to handle it before I explode in a non-professional manner.

Tl;dr: rear end in a top hat coworker makes insults and jokes about my height alllllll the loving time. He's obsessed with my height. I need to shut it down before I punch him in the neck. Help

Jesus Christ posted:

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

ArbitraryC posted:

My mom is like 5'10 and I never thought of her as super tall, granted I don't think I've ever seen her wearing 3 inch heels either so ymmv.

Pick posted:

My mother is the same and it doesn't hit me as that weird, but heels put me over 6' and some people are unbelievable dickheads about it.