/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

remember, cumslut is a garbage poster with bad opinions

# ? Dec 29, 2016 07:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 17:24

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Cumslut will take a huge load whenever, though, so I think it balances out.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 07:54

Themata: Dec 10, 2011; If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt

Bullying is bad and not nice, and people should not write it off like it's something to get over because years have passed, especially those who know about it first-hand.

Like goons. < :smug:

# ? Dec 29, 2016 07:58

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

Popsci section of Boston.com runs article on thing using lots of weasel words, quotes low evidence studies without any criticism

Goon uses it to die on a hill repeatedly

Bullying sucks but uh, imo, rape sucks more

# ? Dec 29, 2016 07:59

Malkof: Oct 13, 2001; Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I feel for the lady I too had a somewhat tall dude that used to make sure I wouldn't get laid in high school. Fucker was always there squashing any game I could muster with his loud rear end mouth and crude behaviour.

I am Keyser Söze

# ? Dec 29, 2016 07:59

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Themata posted:

Bullying is bad and not nice, and people should not write it off like it's something to get over because years have passed, especially those who know about it first-hand.

Like goons. <>

You are not wrong but she really only has a few options here
1) deal with it
2) find a new job

Going to her boss or hr about literally high school problems is just going to get her fired for causing trouble.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:02

FabioClone: Oct 3, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Ride The Gravitron posted:

You are not wrong but she really only has a few options here
1) deal with it
2) find a new job

Going to her boss or hr about literally high school problems is just going to get her fired for causing trouble.

3) Revenge.

Other than the lady dating her bully, I can't think of a better opportunity, especially if he really doesn't remember her.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:21

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

got a good one for you guys so stop arguing about bullying

quote:

I need some advice. My mother is afraid of the end of the world more than the end of her family. [long]

My mother [70] and I [30F] don't have the greatest of relationships. She is one of those people who have an irrational fear/fascination with the �end of days�. Y2K, Mayan Calendar, you name it, at some point she's prepped for it. She'll spend hours on the computer "researching" how her theories align with videos and articles she finds online. Usually we can ignore what she says and move on, however, it has really come to a head just in time for the holidays.

About 2 weeks before Christmas she called my sister [28], who lives in another state, and told her that she wanted her to come home for the holidays because she believes there�s going to be some kind of catastrophic event and she wanted the whole family together just in case. I called my mother and told her that if she started down that road with us that she wouldn�t be welcome at my home for Christmas. I was hoping that would make her straighten up, especially since we have a 5 month old son (who she adores) and this would be his first Christmas.

Then Christmas Eve happened! She fully whips out the crazy on us. Trying to get us to run around town to buy a freezer for her (which unbeknownst to us, she want to keep in our garage) 30 minutes before the store closes. She unloads her conspiracy theories on my husband while trying to convince him that she should take our truck so she can load it up with provisions (toilet paper, paper towels, canned food, frozen food, solar panels, etc.) from her apartment and bring it over to our house.

I called and stuck to my guns that because of her behavior she wasn�t welcome at our home for Christmas and that I�m not sure when she�ll be allowed back. Christmas was enjoyable and stress free since it was mother free. My MIL and GMIL who were staying with us and witnessing the whole thing go down, were incredibly understanding about the whole situation. My husband and I have been together for 12 years so MIL has seen some poo poo.

My mom sent me a text apologizing for her behavior and how sad this Christmas was for her, I have yet to respond to it. I�ve been trying to leave my sister out of this so she can enjoy a stress free visit to her boyfriend�s home. But of course my mother has other plans. She ended up sending my sister this long text:

-
�I�m busy putting a few things in garage so I can have my living room look like normal. I texted OP and apologized and said I would not talk about my fears again. This doesn�t mean I don�t still have them. Since all my prep was for all of us, I now have to resign to the idea of this taking care of just me. I wish you would fly down here with [boyfriend] for New Years. I would pay for the tickets. You could take [boyfriend] to [hometown] for the fireworks. I would also feel better that you would be safe there especially if [boyfriend] was with you. I just can�t bare the thought of you being so far away. 2017 has been predicted to start the tribulation year of the quakes, tsunami and major riots. It just isn�t safe there at [location]. You will know this when Obama takes a third term or becomes king, law �Theme of provisional government.� By tearing down Trump and planting fear in the people. Michelle is now campaigning by saying she feels sorry for the women. Called him a racist to stir up riots and rapist to fear for the children. Watch the youtube speech and tell me if that�s not a campaign speech. This is why I want you two out of [location] when TSHTF. Obama has set up martial law to go into effect on a short notice. Congressmen, people with high intel with military and newsmen have tried to warn us that this is coming. As for the religious groups, they have followed the prophesies and Obama has fulfilled them. He is the Antichrist.

"So there you have it. I couldn�t talk to you about it because it�s too scary. That�s why I am acting so neurotic. Which is worse telling you about it and scaring you to do some research on your own and getting pass the fear and acting on getting to a safe place or live in denial because of fear and being a victim to riots, earth quakes, EMPs and don�t forget the ocean traveling to the Rockies. The Bibles says this will all come quickly right after each other. I love you. Please don�t hate me for saying all these things. You are so precious to me. All I want is for all of us to be together safe from big cities and where you can have the means to feed and protect ourselves. [hometown] will be a good place to start. This is why I want you to bring [boyfriend] to meet the family before the New Year. Please check this stuff out before you come down on me hard. I said all this at the risk of you hating me just like OP does. I couldn�t bare losing you too. I have said it all now you won�t hear another thing about this. I will never mention it again. Our conversations from now on will avoid these subjects. Please text me back after you have time to let this truly sink in. The end.�
-

Neither of us know how to respond to this text. We knew she was "researching" again, but didn't know it had got this bad. My sister and I are at the end. We don�t know what to do any more. My mother doesn�t really have any friends or family that she talks to. So if my sister and I shut her out, she�ll be almost completely alone with her fears. I want my mom to seek help but I know she won�t go willingly. She went to counseling a couple of times before and stopped when she didn�t feel that the therapist was on her side. Ideally I would like her to talk to a professional. I just don�t know what the next move is. How can I get her help so that I can have a normal relationship with her?

TL;DR My mother's fear of the end of the world is more important to her than having her family and I don't know how to get her help.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:23

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

Mom schizo, so what

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Bullying is serious and though nine years have passed, those nine years didn't actually resolve their differences just put them on hiatus.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:34

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

Bullying is serious and though nine years have passed, those nine years didn't actually resolve their differences just put them on hiatus.

bullying causes permanent neurological damage, so no amount of time will resolve anything.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:44

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Pick posted:

Bullying is serious and though nine years have passed, those nine years didn't actually resolve their differences just put them on hiatus.

He probably feels bad about what he did and being nice without bringing it up is him trying to get things going on the right foot. The workplace doesn't seem appropriate for a heart2heart, and she hasn't actually brought it up with him yet for him to formally apologize.

I don't get why she blames him for all that negative stuff in high school though. She tried to screw him out of a grade on a group project, and instead of talking to her crush she just let him think that she had something going on with that guy instead? A whole lot of this seems to be on her. Including still caring about it nine years later.

I'd have a ton more sympathy for vicious rumors and/or her being ostracized. Instead it sounds like she annoyed a petty teenager by trying to be petty over a grade, he talked some poo poo whenever he saw her as people who don't like each other as kids/teens tend to do, and she's blaming her introversion/shortcomings on these events. It's even spilling over into modern day: she can't even talk with him or her boss about it.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Dec 29, 2016

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:50

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Cumslut1895 posted:

bullying causes permanent neurological damage, so no amount of time will resolve anything.

So the bullied are permanently damaged and never move past it? Sounds like the humane thing to do is put them out of their misery. :rip:

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:54

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Bullying is bad but Reddit is also one of those sites where everyone is in permanent high school persecution complex mode so it's hard to tell what's actually going on.

Don't bully people though

# ? Dec 29, 2016 08:55

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

Cumslut1895 posted:

bullying causes permanent neurological damage, so no amount of time will resolve anything.

you know nothing

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:08

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Improbable Lobster posted:

Bullying is bad but Reddit is also one of those sites where everyone is in permanent high school persecution complex mode so it's hard to tell what's actually going on.

Don't bully people though

"permanent high school persecution complex" you know that's less a personal flaw and more a symptom right

Chichevache posted:

So the bullied are permanently damaged and never move past it? Sounds like the humane thing to do is put them out of their misery.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:22

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I feel if we're gonna go for a "they were developing children and we need to understand that some things we'd expect adults to shrug off had lingering impacts on their childhood experience" sort of angle to bullying (which is totally fair) you have to also acknowledge that the perpetrators were also children and the bad stuff they did was mostly for social jockeying and indirect enough that it's p unreasonable to hold it against them a decade later.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:30

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I was bullied all throughout grade, middle and high school and I turned out fine after a decade of substance abuse, meds and therapy. God, sack up you ninnies.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:33

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Cumslut1895 posted:

"permanent high school persecution complex" you know that's less a personal flaw and more a symptom right

I meant that adult redditors act like they're in high school and that they're the persecuted outcasts and everyone around them are the mean jocks and popular kids.

I wasn't trying to discredit any personal trauma people may have suffered during their younger years. Childhood traumas obviously affect people well into adulthood.

Then again you're a disingenuous idiot

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:33

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel if we're gonna go for a "they were developing childrend and we need to understand that some things we'd expect adults to shrug off had lingering impacts on their childhood experience" sort of angle to bullying (which is totally fair) you have to also acknowledge that the perpetrators were also children and the bad stuff they did was mostly for social jockeying and indirect enough that it's p unreasonable to hold it against them a decade later.

except the liifetime statistics (suicide,mental illness,chance of marrying etc) of bullying victims are terrible, so the fact that they were children doesn't really matter. it's not like you'd shrug off any other kind of permanent damage the same way. if one kid beat another kid with a bat until they were physically or mentally disabled, I don't think you'd be quite so forgiving

edit: and a lot things dismissed as bullying when they happen to children would result in serious prison time if done by an adult, so it's a little unreasonable to talk about things that adults would shrug off

Cumslut1895 fucked around with this message at 09:37 on Dec 29, 2016

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:34

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cumslut1895 posted:

except the liifetime statistics (suicide,mental illness,chance of marrying etc) of bullying victims are terrible, so the fact that they were children doesn't really matter. it's not like you'
d shrug off any other kind of permanent damage the same way. if one kid beat another kid with a bat until they were physically or mentally disabled, it would not be shrugged off as "indirect"

Maybe we should go to the police whenever children call each other fat

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:37

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

ArbitraryC posted:

Maybe we should go to the police whenever children call each other fat

or maybe literally smashing a childs teeth out or sexually assaulting them (as happened several times at my school) should be treated a bit more seriously

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:39

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Cumslut1895 posted:

or maybe literally smashing a childs teeth out or sexually assaulting them (as happened several times at my school) should be treated a bit more seriously

I'm sure that all the lawmakers in GBS will get right on it,

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:40

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Cumslut1895 posted:

bullying causes permanent neurological damage, so no amount of time will resolve anything.

wow pretty hosed up that you're calling the victims damaged goods

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:50

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

fruit on the bottom posted:

wow pretty hosed up that you're calling the victims damaged goods

does the phrase "head trauma causes permanent neurological damage" bother you?

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:52

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

being bullied is a fetish

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:53

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Cumslut1895 posted:

does the phrase "head trauma causes permanent neurological damage" bother you?

No, Dan Savage says I'm not allowed to kinkshame.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:55

Griefor: Jun 11, 2009

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel if we're gonna go for a "they were developing children and we need to understand that some things we'd expect adults to shrug off had lingering impacts on their childhood experience" sort of angle to bullying (which is totally fair) you have to also acknowledge that the perpetrators were also children and the bad stuff they did was mostly for social jockeying and indirect enough that it's p unreasonable to hold it against them a decade later.

Yes, this. Bullying is a very lovely thing with very deep running effects, and it's good to acknowledge that and fight it, but the perpetrators tend to not be calculating and malicious, but just dumb kids doing what their self-preserving brain is telling them to do. Don't hate on the single digit aged kids that do it. Reserve your hate for that dude who bullied a girl at age ~25 from that story a while ago. That is truly lovely behaviour because at that point you should know better.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 09:59

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Cumslut1895 posted:

or maybe literally smashing a childs teeth out or sexually assaulting them (as happened several times at my school) should be treated a bit more seriously

Having terrible veneers was already part of the mental image you project, but I'm happy you've confirmed it.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:00

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Chichevache posted:

Having terrible veneers was already part of the mental image you project, but I'm happy you've confirmed it.

not me. a girl beaten up by a group of like 4 others, It was racially motivated too. super hosed up so it shouldn't surprise you that literally nothing happened to them.

Griefor posted:

Yes, this. Bullying is a very lovely thing with very deep running effects, and it's good to acknowledge that and fight it, but the perpetrators tend to not be calculating and malicious, but just dumb kids doing what their self-preserving brain is telling them to do. Don't hate on the single digit aged kids that do it. Reserve your hate for that dude who bullied a girl at age ~25 from that story a while ago. That is truly lovely behaviour because at that point you should know better.

I guarantee you that psychopath was bullying people in school.

Cumslut1895 fucked around with this message at 10:07 on Dec 29, 2016

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:03

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

people who allow themselves to be bullied are weak

if society ever breaks down, you guys are the first to go

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:08

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

Zzulu posted:

people who allow themselves to be bullied are weak

if society ever breaks down, you guys are the first to go

i'm gonna do a FUCKLOAD of curls and next week?

mark my words, bitch

i'm gonna bully u when you least expect it

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:37

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Shutup nerds

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:39

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Check out the narc

My [21f] boyfriend [29m] was prescribed Codeine and it's worrying me

quote:

I'm typing on my phone so sorry for any spelling errors.

Little backstory: My boyfriend (we'll call him John) and I have been together for about a year. I moved into his place about 2 months ago. He is my first boyfriend and he understands that I have no experience when it comes to dating. He's kind and always willing to talk about any concerns I have. He does have issues communicating about something he's not happy with, we both do, but we've been trying to get better at it and it hasn't been an issue so far.

John has never been secretive about his past. He has been very open to telling me everything. About 10 years ago he went to rehab for cocaine addiction. He kicked it and hasn't relapsed since. He struggled with alcohol around the same time and got that under control. He has a long history with shrooms and lsd but says it was never an addiction. He smoked opium for about 2 years.
There aren't a lot of drugs he hasn't tried.

Nowadays the only drug he touches is weed. He smokes it all the time, but it doesn't bother me. I knew he was a stoner before we started dating, so it's nothing suprising. I smoke with him sometimes even.

About two weeks ago John came down with a cold. It's gotten worse and he started having lung pain so yesterday he went to the doctor. Turns out he has bronchitis. I wasn't at the appointment, but apparently the doctor recommend taking it easy for a while.
And prescribed John Phenergan/Codeine for the pain.

Now, I won't pretend to be an expert on painkillers. The strongest one I've ever taken is extra strength Tylenol. But when reading the bottle of John's prescription my first thought was "Surely an opiate is overkill, right?"

But he loves it. Which is slightly terrifying. When I came home from work yesterday he just seemed... off. He was in a really good mood and was very relaxed. Then he explained to me what his doctor gave him. And his doctor gave him a loving refill. I voiced my concerns about this and he told me I'm overreacting. I've already said in the past that an addiction to anything except weed is a dealbreaker for me. But if it does get to that point I don't want to end a relationship over a 4oz bottle of cough syrup.

So I guess my question is am I overreacting? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I plan on talking to him about all of this when he wakes up, but is there something else I should say that I didn't think of?

TL;DR: Boyfriend got prescribed an opiate. I'm scared he'll get addicted. Need advice.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:43

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

An opiate... technically true but c'mon

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:51

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

DOMDOM posted:

Shutup nerds

# ? Dec 29, 2016 10:58

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Me [18M] with my BF [31M] of 1 year, his family threw away my baked Christmas gifts to them

quote:

To preface; yes, I know there is an age gap between my boyfriend and I that is an underlying issue here.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for a year and every holiday/birthday/celebration, I bake and usually give a small gift to his relatives. I'm really quite good at baking and it's been my thing since I was a small child. I put a lot of time and effort to make sure that the presentation is as flawless as I can get it and that it is the person's favorite confection. I never deliver these gifts in person because I know I'm not well liked and I don't want to cause problems with my presence but I also don't want to be unfriendly or standoffish or give them a reason to like me less by doing nothing.

This Christmas was really hard on my boyfriend, as his grandparents and only aunt died recently and they were really big on family gettogethers. Since no one would be baking because that was their thing, I asked my bf if he would like me to make christmas dessert for his family and he said yes and got the recipes that his grandmas use to make from his mom. I sent him off to his parents place on Christmas morning with three cheesecakes, about 200 cookies, and two chess pies. It took me literally days to get all of it done and I was hoping that his family would love it and maybe it would make the holidays go better

I don't know what happened, but bf says that the gifts were not well received and that I shouldn't bother doing anything for his family in the future. Eventually I pried it out of him that his dad and uncles had thrown the majority of what I sent in the garbage before christmas dinner because they 'thought it was trash''. They knew it wasn't that kind of trash, it was personal. No one else said anything or spoke up and my bf ended up getting into a huge fight with his family and left immediately after.

I'm at a loss. I don't know what I did to make them hate me. His parents who were hosting dinner knew I was making stuff for my bf to bring that were his family's recipes, so I didn't blindside them or anything. I've only ever seen his family when they come over to visit, or spent a few minutes saying 'hello', but never any real time with them to warrant this kind of attitude. I've been nothing but nice whenever I do meet them. I guess maybe they think that my baking is too effeminate and repulsive to them? It's dramatic and stupid, but I am really heartbroken about this and my bf has been upset and not talking to his family since christmas day and it's partly my fault.

How do I make this better/figure out what went wrong here?

tl;dr: My BF's dad and uncles threw out the christmas desserts i made using their grandmas' recipes for no apparent reason other than they hate me.

Little insight from his comments... they started hooking up when he was 17 :smith:

quote:

I know they take issue with the age difference, which is another reason i tend to make myself scarce. I was trying to be cordial to them for the holidays without imposing and stayed home by myself this year.

To clear up any excessively creepy/predatory speculations, I was seeking someone of his age range out and he was looking for a younger guy/rebound without the intent of a relationship, which happened to come later. We both know the arrangement isn't permanent, but it is fun for now.

I can't imagine why dad and uncles reacted so poorly to their son/nephews fuckboy usurping the baking traditions of their recently deceased mom and sister. Help reddit!!

# ? Dec 29, 2016 11:26

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Lonely Virgil posted:

I'm [32F] pregnant and sick and I feel like my husband [28M] isn't taking care of me. He feels like I'm ungrateful.

How fat is her husband to eat a third of a loaf of bread like 5 minutes.

Ew ew ew this guy sounds exactly like my coworkers ex. It took a lot for her to leave him but he was and is a huge piece of poo poo. And to answer your question probs at least 300 like the guy I'm talking about. She made a big tray of lasagna for the week, comes home to find he demolished all but a sliver.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 11:27

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

DOMDOM posted:

Me [18M] with my BF [31M] of 1 year, his family threw away my baked Christmas gifts to them

Little insight from his comments... they started hooking up when he was 17

I can't imagine why dad and uncles reacted so poorly to their son/nephews fuckboy usurping the baking traditions of their recently deceased mom and sister. Help reddit!!

The relationship is hosed up, but the teenager does not have primary responsibility for it. If the family is pissed, they should tell the 30-something creeplord how disgusted they are with him, not passive-agressively toss a literal child's baked goods in the trash.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 11:51

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:24

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Bullying is terrible. Do not let your kids bully other kids. Allowing your kid to make another feel like worthless poo poo because kids will be kids or any other excuse makes you an objectively terrible parent and a horrible person.

Childhood is when you are at your most impressionable and sets the foundation for development of your later worldviews and personality. A severely bullied kid wakes up every morning and feels like human garbage. That kid goes to school and has it confirmed by their peers that they are, in fact, human garbage. Of course that sticks with you for life.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 12:36

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