/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

DOMDOM posted:

Coffee maker, steak spice, dog poop bags
A true romantic

This dude is 100% buying these gifts at the grocery store, possibly the day of

# ? Dec 30, 2016 20:42

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# ? May 9, 2024 14:14

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Dial-a-Dog posted:

This dude is 100% buying these gifts at the grocery store, possibly the day of

You wouldn't want a stale coffee maker.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:07

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

She even made it easy for him by telling him exactly what she wanted. (And apparently he got those items for his sister/mom instead.)

Gift giving can he hard and anxiety-inducing but like, in half these stories they are specifically told what to get and somehow manage to fail anyway. There are so many non-specific but still nice gifts out there that you can get too, ones that aren't dog-poop bags. :wtc:

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:19

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Dial-a-Dog posted:

This dude is 100% buying these gifts at the grocery store, possibly the day of

They reek of chores/tasks he wants her to do for him: make him coffee, cook him steak, clean up.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:19

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Clocks posted:

She even made it easy for him by telling him exactly what she wanted. (And apparently he got those items for his sister/mom instead.)

Gift giving can he hard and anxiety-inducing but like, in half these stories they are specifically told what to get and somehow manage to fail anyway. There are so many non-specific but still nice gifts out there that you can get too, ones that aren't dog-poop bags.

It really isnt difficult to be a decent gifter. Here's what I do. I snoop, and I listen.

I listened to my wife after wearing the lovely brown Pixie boots I bought her from Dune London when she said 'these boots are so comfortable and stylish and I love wearing them, if they ever brought them out in black I'd absolutely love a pair. This was in September.

I snooped through her perfumes and noticed. Huh, she's nearly out of Chanel Allure. Looks like her Chanel Chance Fraiche will only last until Xmas.

I make a note on my phone of all these things and anything else she mentions that she likes, whether while we are out shopping or watching TV, whatever.

Come November I only need half an hour on Amazon and a quick trip to town to grab everything. I know there's no risk that she won't like any of the gifts.

That guy is just a douchebag who doesn't deserve her.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:53

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

I bought my wife nothing and she didn't care at all. I didn't get anything from her either. It's really easy.

We're frugal and get what we want when we want it.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Yes, monkeytennis, exactly! It's that easy.

I love gift-giving, I do it almost compulsively, and it's super satisfying to get someone the perfect gift. Especially if they're tricky to figure out. I don't get why some people have such gift anxiety.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:57

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

My wife introduced me to Pandora and had logged into it when I downloaded it on my computer years ago. Later when I wanted to make my own profile I noticed she hadn't logged off so I noted the Mexican groups she liked and bought her some albums on CD through Amazon.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 21:58

Malkof: Oct 13, 2001; Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Panfilo posted:

My wife introduced me to Pandora and had logged into it when I downloaded it on my computer years ago. Later when I wanted to make my own profile I noticed she hadn't logged off so I noted the Mexican groups she liked and bought her some albums on CD through Amazon.

That's your wife's playlist while banging the gardener. Sorry bro.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 22:31

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

when in doubt check with goatse

How do I [15m] Explain to my Parents That The Way They Play Board Games Makes it Really Tense and Unfun for Me?
My favorite types of posts are very quickly becoming ones from younger posters about their awful parents

I feel that playing Talisman might improve this family's game night. the dice will punish mum one way another, dad can not save her :twisted:

# ? Dec 30, 2016 22:38

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I agree that this is the time when an unironic recommendation of Talisman is warranted.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 22:39

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Or a round of dokapon

# ? Dec 30, 2016 22:59

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

I loving loathe Dokapon Kingdom

# ? Dec 30, 2016 22:59

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

monkeytennis posted:

It really isnt difficult to be a decent gifter. Here's what I do. I snoop, and I listen.

I listened to my wife after wearing the lovely brown Pixie boots I bought her from Dune London when she said 'these boots are so comfortable and stylish and I love wearing them, if they ever brought them out in black I'd absolutely love a pair. This was in September.

I snooped through her perfumes and noticed. Huh, she's nearly out of Chanel Allure. Looks like her Chanel Chance Fraiche will only last until Xmas.

I make a note on my phone of all these things and anything else she mentions that she likes, whether while we are out shopping or watching TV, whatever.

Come November I only need half an hour on Amazon and a quick trip to town to grab everything. I know there's no risk that she won't like any of the gifts.

That guy is just a douchebag who doesn't deserve her.

It's really easy if you know your SO's interests. My fiancee is into magic, so I bought her some new books on the subject that she didn't have. On the list is stuff like the perfume one of her favorite classic film stars used, or some new running shoes to replace the ratty Walmart ones that are already falling apart after less than a year. As for my best friend, we have each other on Steam and gift each other games on our wish lists.

As long as you know what someone likes, it's pretty easy. Of course, that might involve paying attention to someone other than yourself. I know some people find that difficult.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 23:05

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

It's alright, not the best but it is definitely a good way to do some damage to friendships
E: dokapon, that is

# ? Dec 30, 2016 23:05

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

Panfilo posted:

My wife introduced me to Pandora and had logged into it when I downloaded it on my computer years ago. Later when I wanted to make my own profile I noticed she hadn't logged off so I noted the Mexican groups she liked and bought her some albums on CD through Amazon.

lmao buying CDs within he past decade.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 23:15

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

I just send my girlfriend pics of my butt, i'm certain she appreciates it but deep down i really dont care

# ? Dec 30, 2016 23:17

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

monkeytennis posted:

It really isnt difficult to be a decent gifter. Here's what I do. I snoop, and I listen.

I listened to my wife after wearing the lovely brown Pixie boots I bought her from Dune London when she said 'these boots are so comfortable and stylish and I love wearing them, if they ever brought them out in black I'd absolutely love a pair. This was in September.

I snooped through her perfumes and noticed. Huh, she's nearly out of Chanel Allure. Looks like her Chanel Chance Fraiche will only last until Xmas.

I make a note on my phone of all these things and anything else she mentions that she likes, whether while we are out shopping or watching TV, whatever.

Come November I only need half an hour on Amazon and a quick trip to town to grab everything. I know there's no risk that she won't like any of the gifts.

That guy is just a douchebag who doesn't deserve her.

Look at this creeper.

# ? Dec 30, 2016 23:38

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Panfilo posted:

My wife introduced me to Pandora and had logged into it when I downloaded it on my computer years ago. Later when I wanted to make my own profile I noticed she hadn't logged off so I noted the Mexican groups she liked and bought her some albums on CD through Amazon.

Who the hell listens to Pandora when Spotify is an option

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:12

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Who the hell listens to Spotify or Pandora when Google Play Music is an option

ftfy

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:13

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

quote:

I (21F) caught my dad (65M) watching young girl porn and I haven't been able to trust him since.

About four years ago (I was about 17) I was at my dads house - my mom and dad had recently divorced - and I asked my dad if I could use his computer to do some homework. He allowed, and I spent some time doing homework, and some time on social media. After finishing the homework I decided to delete the social media history so he wouldn't see I was messing around.

I opened the internet history which was organized by site. I found and deleted my facebook links but then I noticed a ton of awful titled websites with many porn-related names. I was so shocked. I thought it must be some internet spam, but I went back in the history and these websites were repeated week after week. My dad is a very devoted catholic who looks down on me if I miss a week of mass. I found it hard to believe this history belonged to my dad.

I clicked one website because I had so many questions. But I regret it, because the site I clicked (and many others in the history) listed porn featuring 15-18year old girls. Whether these girls were actually minors or not I do not know. My mind was racing so fast and I just couldn't look. In this moment i'm confused and scared out of my mind to think my dad watches girls that look like me/my age.

I erased all hints that I ever looked through his history and ran back to my room. I felt nauseous and horrible the rest of the day. I couldn't look at my dad at all without feeling sick and disgusted. But I had no one to tell, I still haven't been able to admit it to anyone in person.

Its been 4 years and I still cant trust my dad. I don't enjoy spending time with him, I only do things with him because he always talks about being lonely. But every time he even stares at some girl I have horrible flashbacks to what I found. He has now remarried and I hope he's changed... but I can't forget what I saw. Is this something I keep to myself and let this secret die with me? Or do I tell someone?

TL;DR: When I was 17, I found tons of porn with young (15-18 year-old) girls on my dads computer. It's been four years and I still can't trust him or find it in my heart to forgive him. Do I tell someone or try to forget?

I feel really bad for this girl! Like, you can say "all guys watch porn" all you want but knowing for a fact your dad watches porn specifically with girls the same age as you would be awful.But honestly she should see a therapist about it if she still feels this way four years later, it's not going to just go away.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:39

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

dad jerks. so what

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:42

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Dad pedo so what

And a devoted catholic to boot of course.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:42

Radical and BADical!: Jun 27, 2010; by Lowtax; Fun Shoe

A deeply religious Catholic who is into underage sex? Ya don't say...

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:44

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

The real shocker is that he wasn't secretly gay.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:44

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

or secretly the gay pedo pope even!

# ? Dec 31, 2016 01:45

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Gluten Freeman posted:

I feel really bad for this girl! Like, you can say "all guys watch porn" all you want but knowing for a fact your dad watches porn specifically with girls the same age as you would be awful.But honestly she should see a therapist about it if she still feels this way four years later, it's not going to just go away.

It's kind of horrifying. We found out that one of the people we had fired from my work was into serious daddy/daughter kinky stuff with a much older man (the kind where she bases her entire life around the fetish), which is obviously a little weird but not exactly shocking. THEN we found out that he gave up his own daughter for adoption when she was an infant, and when she turned 18 she came to seek him out and found that he was dating a girl a year younger than her.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 02:15

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

Negging is probably easier when someone has no idea of the concept of negging.

Me [27 F] with my friend [26 M] 7? months, dynamic of our friendship changed and I'm not sure how to react to it.Non-Romantic

quote:

So about 7 months ago, met the guy in question, let's call him Josh.
Josh and I hit it off pretty fast, and even though I felt some mixed signals at first, I later got clear not interested signals so I just figured maybe I was hopeful at first and twisting signs in my favor when they weren't.
He made it more than clear he wasn't interested at some point so I just gave up on thinking anything would come out of it.
Josh is a very blunt kinda person, by blunt I mean 'when you first added me on Facebook, I browsed your photos and noticed you used to be hot, what happened?' (I gained some weight in past 3 years, but like wow, nice way to put it). Or like 'I saw you on Tinder and swiped left, no offence' (meaning he said no). He uses Tinder for hookups among other things, so why tell me that but then get with me? The way he approached things in bed made it clear he's thought about it for some time before that night.
But yeah, he's just very open like that and says random poo poo. Anyway, about 4 months pass since I figure nothing there, we just remain good friends and hang out like once a week or so, watch movies, make some food, chill till late.
I go to visit family and am away for a week and he hits me up right as I'm getting back, I see his message and text him I'm flying back as we speak and will be back at 3am so too late.
He says he's up late as his schedule's disoriented and we can hang if I'm up for it, so I end up at his, and then we end up at mine as I tell him I'm moving for a year back home to be with family and sort some stuff out.
I suggest he take some stuff off of me, like some books and so we go to mine. He packs a bag to sleep over. He asks which room is warmest and then says that we can share a bed if I'm okay with it, warmer and he likes cuddles/snuggles. I'm flipping out over this, because what the f... Really? Now?
I'm still convinced he's no way interested in anything, and figure he really is just into that, he's the kind of guy that always hugs you, so fit the description. And I say sure, because who wouldn't turn down their crush wanting to cuddle? (despite knowing it's probably bad news)
We're laying in bed, spooning. At some point he's like 'not asleep?' 'nope, half asleep' 'me too, half awake, half hard' That was so shocking cause I was in no way expecting that, but should have assumed since he wanted to cuddle, like really, platonic cuddling?
He asks if it'd be weird if he tried anything. I say I never thought about it and like what? He says like this and starts making out with me and things progress as you can imagine.
Tried to act uninterested and say I didn't think about the possibility of something because I knew it would just be bad news for me to get into this but I'm like, gently caress it, I have a month left before I'm gone and I've been wanting to know what it's like for some time.
We slept after a while... then again went at it in the morning, to which he says 'that's how I like to start my morning'
I know the experience wasn't bad for him because he made multiple compliments throughout the night (and even something being the best he's had) so the sex wasn't the issue, he's blunt and would definitely tell me if I sucked (we've talked about weird experiences with sex partners and he's told me some of the stuff he's said to girls before), and he wanted more in the morning.
We spend all day hanging out, he's job searching on his laptop, I'm working on some project on mine then we watch some tv and drive him home to feed his pets (at like 5am - says he'd stay another night but has to take care of them)
Anyway, since we entertained the idea of going to the mountains for the snow but woke up at 3pm, I suggested another day we can go and since he talked about craving garlic mash, I invited him to come to mine after mountains and have dinner.
We go out (2 days later), have a great time, I make food (which btw, he often talks about qualities he looks for in a wife, and says 'if she can... I'm gonna marry her' so example, if she can cook better than me... and so once told me my husband is going to be a very lucky guy), so he compliments my food, says it's rare that girls know how to cook these days, let alone this good. etc. And I'm just sitting there like, if I'm so perfect, why am I undatable by you?
We talked about cars we've had and he was like 'drat, you must have been turning heads, beautiful, hot and in a sports car' Like what the gently caress? Why does he say these things if he's not interested? It just further fucks with my head.
He clearly thinks about me a lot in some sense, what I looked like, and sees (at least past me) as beautiful.
Anyway, at this point I'm still okay with just 'no strings attached' as he specified, I mean, I'm leaving in a month so not really ready for anything more, too much on my plate for that.
So we go to watch movies, watch 2, then hang out on laptops and at 6 he's like, drat we should sleep if we're gonna be up early
Since we're both on separate couches, he's like 'I'm not hosed to move, I'll crash here' so what the? Is he saying he's not interested in doing anything again? Not even to cuddle?
So I'm confused out of my mind. He tried to make it clear he wasn't interested, but then we hook up and he's like 'haven't thought about it my rear end'. But I don't get why just get with me once?
I know he's not really seeing anyone else lately because he talks about his hookups and experiences often and openly. So I don't get it.
Was it because I said I was leaving so he was like, gently caress it, gotta find out what it would be like? Since we hang out often, maybe he didn't want to make the friendship weird if he got with me once and not again or whatever.
Or does he like me on some level but just doesn't show it, I don't know... it's just weird, whenever he's like 'I want this in a girl' he's like 'some guy is going to be lucky to have you because of that'
I know there's plenty of fish in the sea and I'll find someone else more worth my time, but I can't help but be curious cause I've never been in a situation like this.
I'm not gonna sit and be hung up on him, whatever, we have a good friendship and I can keep that going without getting weird about it, and I'm moving and not hosed to invest emotions into something that is so complex right now, but I just want to know what's possibly going through his head? I know you're not him but perhaps some insight...
Why the sudden change in our friendship?
tl;dr: Guy talked bluntly about not being interested, then hooked up with me, then acted normal like nothing's happened, and didn't initiate anything further. Despite not being interested, makes it more than clear that I'm his type (without saying it) and that I was beautiful and hot when I didn't gain the weight I did.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 02:59

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

Based on previous stories in this thread, I had a fear of that woman turning out to be that guy's adopted daughter.

chitoryu12 posted:

It's kind of horrifying. We found out that one of the people we had fired from my work was into serious daddy/daughter kinky stuff with a much older man (the kind where she bases her entire life around the fetish), which is obviously a little weird but not exactly shocking. THEN we found out that he gave up his own daughter for adoption when she was an infant...

I got to this point in the post and made this face :byodood:

before getting to the rest.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Negging is really goddamn dumb and when it works, it only works on people with such low self-esteem they'd have slept with you anyway.

"You're pretty confident for someone whose snatch I can smell from up here." "Must be all the George Clooney left in there :rolleye:

Pick fucked around with this message at 03:14 on Dec 31, 2016

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:11

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Gaunab posted:

I hope this op updates. This is strange.

This op did update!

quote:

[UPDATE] My bf [27m] makes me [21f] feel scared without any reason at all and I don't know if I should bring it up, break up with him or just see a therapist.

OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5jgfkj/my_bf_27m_makes_me_21f_feel_scared_without_any/

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who tried to help me, truly. I appreciate it a lot <3

I got it checked out and found out I have severe anxiety. So yeah. It wasn't my bf's fault at all - he's lovely- it's just me. And I ended up telling him that. He was very supportive and laughed a little bit when I told him I was scared of him. He said "yeah, I'm definitely not a serial killer". It's all good.

tl;dr: i have anxiety

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:16

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Trevor Hale posted:

Negging is probably easier when someone has no idea of the concept of negging.

Me [27 F] with my friend [26 M] 7? months, dynamic of our friendship changed and I'm not sure how to react to it.Non-Romantic

Lol this girl was interested in this dork to begin with, all he did with his PUA bullshit was make it take longer and confuse the poo poo out of her, and most likely wind up losing out on her when she figures he's still not interested when he clearly (once you know what he's doing) very interested.

Even if there was a future, now she gets to remember all the times he "negged" (insulted) her

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:26

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

I would b anxious too if I was living with a serial killer boyfriend so maybe it's justified

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:28

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Gaunab posted:

This op did update!

He was very supportive and laughed a little bit when I told him I was scared of him. He said "yeah, I'm definitely not a serial killer". It's all good

Sounds exactly like what a serial killer would say

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:35

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I sympathize with this cause the Beatles do in fact suck dick

Just play all the really embarrassing metal covers of Beatles songs over and over again going "Oh yeah, I totally see the appeal, now!"

I do something similar. I pick some horrible song by a band thats not the one in question, and get them so excited "I heard a Zeppelin song today that I love, and now I totally get why you love Led Zepppelin so much. They're great. Have you heard "Dream on?" It's soooo good."

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:36

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Dial-a-Dog posted:

Sounds exactly like what a serial killer would say

I bet it's him posting that too after serial killing her.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:39

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

fruit on the bottom posted:

I bet it's him posting that too after serial killing her.

RIP 21F.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 03:55

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Trevor Hale posted:

Negging is probably easier when someone has no idea of the concept of negging.

Me [27 F] with my friend [26 M] 7? months, dynamic of our friendship changed and I'm not sure how to react to it.Non-Romantic

27 seems a little old to be this naive.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 04:03

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

27 seems a little old to be this naive.

Yes but on the other hand, reddit

# ? Dec 31, 2016 04:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 14:14

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

Dial-a-Dog posted:

Lol this girl was interested in this dork to begin with, all he did with his PUA bullshit was make it take longer and confuse the poo poo out of her, and most likely wind up losing out on her when she figures he's still not interested when he clearly (once you know what he's doing) very interested.

Even if there was a future, now she gets to remember all the times he "negged" (insulted) her

Dude isn't interested at all. He's just a shitbag who saw an easy opportunity to get laid. If she wasn't leaving in a month, he wouldn't have tried anything.

# ? Dec 31, 2016 04:32

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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