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Rush Limbo posted:My sister surprised me with a belated Christmas/Birthday present today: A jokebook by Slavoj Zizek. Share with the class? 105: The atomic number of dubnium. Dubnium is commonly found in various Skrillex songs. Miftan fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Dec 30, 2016 |
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Dec 30, 2016 19:51
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I've built Cornish hedges, I'm not sure what infrastructure could have made them better. Rocks and earth were at hand.
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Dec 30, 2016 20:02
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Miftan posted:Share with the class?
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Dec 30, 2016 20:15
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Miftan posted:Share with the class? quote:There is a nicely vulgar contemporary Bosnian joke about Beethoven’s popular piano piece “Für Elise” (“For Elisa”), making fun of the “enlightened” West European teachers sent to civilize “primitive” Bosnians. In a high school class on music history, a female teacher says that they will not deal with Beethoven in a traditional way, learning the facts, but more creatively: every pupil will mention an idea or image and then name a Beethoven piece that fits it. First, a shy girl says: “A beautiful green meadow in front of a forest, with a deer drinking water from a stream … Pastoral Symphony!” A boy follows her: “Revolutionary war, heroism, freedom … Eroica!” Finally, a Bosnian boy says: “A big, thick, strong, erect cock.” “What is this for?,” asks the annoyed teacher. “For Elisa!” quote:The crucial shift in the “negation of negation” is thus an unexpected change of the very terrain—this change undermines the position of the subject, involving him in the action in a new and much more direct way. Here is a nice case of such a change: at a local Communist Party meeting in Moscow, Petrov is delivering an interminable report. When he notices an obviously bored man in the first row, he asks him: “Hey, you, do you know who this Bulianoff I was just talking about is?” “No idea who he is,” answers the man, and Petrov snaps back: “You see, if you were to come to the party meetings more often and listen more carefully, you would have known who Bulianoff is!” The man snaps back: “But do you, Petrov, know who Andreyev is?” Petrov replies: “No, I don’t know any Andreyev.” The man calmly concludes: “If you were to attend the party meeting less often and listen more carefully to what is going on in your home, you would have known that Andreyev is the guy who is loving your wife while you are delivering your boring speeches!” There's also about four in a row about Jesus. This is probably the best one: quote:Here is a nicely vulgar joke about Christ: the night before he was arrested and crucified, his followers started to worry—Christ was still a virgin; wouldn’t it be nice to have him experience a little bit of pleasure before he dies? So they asked Mary Magdalene to go to the tent where Christ was resting and seduce him; Mary said she would do it gladly and went in, but five minutes later, she ran out screaming, terrified and furious. The followers asked her what went wrong, and she explained: “I slowly undressed, spread my legs and showed Christ my pussy; he looked at it, said ‘What a terrible wound! It should be healed!’ and gently put his palm on it.”
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Dec 30, 2016 20:19
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Pissflaps posted:I know a dry stone waller. that's something we have in common
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Dec 30, 2016 20:51
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Perhaps it's the same guy - maybe you two even know each other!
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Dec 30, 2016 21:02
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Zizek jokes are like Zizek philosophy. Long, overly complicated and at the end of the day, nothing special.
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Dec 30, 2016 21:41
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Much like your posts.
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Dec 30, 2016 22:00
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TinTower posted:Much like your posts. My posts aren't long. I thought you'd love that sort of stuff considering your Homestuck avatar?
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Dec 30, 2016 22:03
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Rush Limbo posted:There's also about four in a row about Jesus. This is probably the best one: hahaha this owns.
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Dec 30, 2016 22:16
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Short jokes are capitalistic decadence, comrade
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Dec 30, 2016 22:38
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Rigged Death Trap posted:Short jokes are capitalistic decadence, comrade Here's another Zinger: quote:In an old Slovene joke, a young schoolboy has to write a short composition with a title “There is only one mother!,” in which he is expected to illustrate, apropos a singular experience, the love that links him to his mother; here is what he writes: “One day I returned home earlier than expected, because the teacher was ill; I looked for my mother and found her naked in her bed with a man who was not my father. My mother angrily shouted at me: “What are you staring at like an idiot? Why don’t you run to the refrigerator and get us two cold beers!” I ran to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, looked into it, and shouted back to the bedroom: “There is only one, mother!” It's the way you tell 'em. I guess this is not so much a joke book written by Zizek as a compilation of his jokes and their overly long interpretations from his other works. Still good, though.
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Dec 30, 2016 22:49
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The more exposure I get to Zizek the more I find him interminably boring.
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Dec 30, 2016 22:56
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Anybody know what the embargoed story from all the newspapers is?
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Dec 30, 2016 23:09
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notaspy posted:Anybody know what the embargoed story from all the newspapers is? Queen's (Probably not) dead
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Dec 30, 2016 23:16
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notaspy posted:Anybody know what the embargoed story from all the newspapers is? NY Honours List, I think. https://twitter.com/alexander_drake/status/814958003203866624
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Dec 30, 2016 23:17
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Queen to step down in 2017, Charles to be Lord Protector and have existential crisis over his surname.
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Dec 30, 2016 23:24
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Rush Limbo posted:There's also about four in a row about Jesus. This is probably the best one: Never thought I'd read a 'joke' where Epsteins Risen Christ would provide a better punchline.
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Dec 30, 2016 23:30
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Wow Ken Dodd is still alive.
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Dec 30, 2016 23:45
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Pissflaps posted:Wow Ken Dodd is still alive. What about his dad's dog?
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Dec 31, 2016 00:16
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I just had a bizarre and terrifying dream in which Donald Trump fell off a step ladder during a publicity event and looked for one tantalising instant like he was going to break his neck, but instead somehow landed on his feet to uproarious applause. He then went on a world tour repeating this stunt to ever larger crowds. This, I think, is my brain's way of telling me not to sleep.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:21
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This is still preferable to Trump falling and dying and then there is President Pence.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:32
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TomViolence posted:I just had a bizarre and terrifying dream in which Donald Trump fell off a step ladder during a publicity event and looked for one tantalising instant like he was going to break his neck, but instead somehow landed on his feet to uproarious applause. He then went on a world tour repeating this stunt to ever larger crowds. This, I think, is my brain's way of telling me not to sleep. I mean statistically he'd probably die eventually if he did this and he can't govern while doing it, so this seems very optimisitc imo.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:32
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Zizek is responsible for SMG and so I love him.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:32
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Gorn Myson posted:Zizek is responsible for SMG and so I love him. In an ironic way, sure.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:35
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TomViolence posted:I just had a bizarre and terrifying dream in which Donald Trump fell off a step ladder during a publicity event and looked for one tantalising instant like he was going to break his neck, but instead somehow landed on his feet to uproarious applause. He then went on a world tour repeating this stunt to ever larger crowds. This, I think, is my brain's way of telling me not to sleep. It'll be his version of Obama-smacking-a-fly-to-death-mid-interview.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:39
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Guavanaut posted:This is still preferable to Trump falling and dying and then there is President Pence. At this point, all us queer people being exterminated is still a bearable cost to pay in exchange for the rest of the world continuing to exist.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:48
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Mister Adequate posted:At this point, all us queer people being exterminated is still a bearable cost to pay in exchange for the rest of the world continuing to exist. I'm slowly starting to realise absolutely nobody in that blight of a country is actually going to kill Trump/Pence/Ryan and we're all going to have to sit and watch and people will go "well you have to respect that you've lost" as if the abstract concept of democracy, on its own, is a virtue
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Dec 31, 2016 01:02
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Spangly A posted:I'm slowly starting to realise absolutely nobody in that blight of a country is actually going to kill Trump/Pence/Ryan and we're all going to have to sit and watch and people will go "well you have to respect that you've lost" as if the abstract concept of democracy, on its own, is a virtue Perhaps left leaning liberals will start to understand that democracy is more than voting every five years and that obstructive and disruptive action is a totally legit way of.... hahaha can't finish that sentence, of course they won't.
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Dec 31, 2016 01:09
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Guavanaut posted:I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sieving through pig poo poo, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig." Guavanaut posted:I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sieving through pig poo poo, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig." hahaha just like that film
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Dec 31, 2016 01:10
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Spangly A posted:I'm slowly starting to realise absolutely nobody in that blight of a country is actually going to kill Trump/Pence/Ryan and we're all going to have to sit and watch and people will go "well you have to respect that you've lost" as if the abstract concept of democracy, on its own, is a virtue The worst thing is there's no shortage of guns and militias and there's even a tradition of armed revolt, but nearly all the guns and militias are in the hands of paranoid reactionaries and half the revolts have been against things like the abolition of slavery or school integration. Bring back the panthers.
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Dec 31, 2016 01:15
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TomViolence posted:The worst thing is there's no shortage of guns and militias and there's even a tradition of armed revolt, but nearly all the guns and militias are in the hands of paranoid reactionaries and half the revolts have been against things like the abolition of slavery or school integration. I wish malcolm X was still alive because at least they'd have gun control, poor bastards
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Dec 31, 2016 01:29
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Spangly A posted:I'm slowly starting to realise absolutely nobody in that blight of a country is actually going to kill Trump/Pence/Ryan and we're all going to have to sit and watch and people will go "well you have to respect that you've lost" as if the abstract concept of democracy, on its own, is a virtue I think some kraut yid predicted this sort of poo poo. We are living, materiasticaly in history. It's about people and economics and the next loving riot. There wil always be another riot. Materialistic History Demands It. I, myself love a good riot.
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Dec 31, 2016 01:46
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A repeat of the last lot of riots going on for longer would be interesting. What actually was the cause of those anyway? All I ever got from the news was "we have no idea why everyone is rioting except that they're delinquents and think it's fun" which seems an inadequate explanation especially as they stopped.
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Dec 31, 2016 01:49
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OwlFancier posted:A repeat of the last lot of riots going on for longer would be interesting. Authority.
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Dec 31, 2016 01:51
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OwlFancier posted:A repeat of the last lot of riots going on for longer would be interesting. If you even start to think about why a thing happened you're saying everyone involved was not at all culpable for their actions, people choose not to choose not to do bad things so there's nothing anyone can ever do
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Dec 31, 2016 02:34
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It was the police murdering Mark Duggen wasn't it? Then everyone who was feeling pissed off about anything joined in. Then gangs joined in. it got rather undirected when the street gangs started burning things for the lols rather than any symbol of solidarity but I guess that is the nature of unrest.
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Dec 31, 2016 02:40
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Angepain posted:If you even start to think about why a thing happened you're saying everyone involved was not at all culpable for their actions, people choose not to choose not to do bad things so there's nothing anyone can ever do The cause of the fire was oxidation, pure and simple. To inquire any further is to make excuses for the flames.
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Dec 31, 2016 02:55
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Bobstar posted:The cause of the fire was oxidation, pure and simple. To inquire any further is to make excuses for the flames. Alternatively, the police shot a black man on the basis that 'on the balance of probability' he was carrying a gun, and despite that the gun was found far too far away for him to have thrown it, and the only person 'shot' with the gun was, in fact, shot by a fellow copper's pistol from an angle that suggests complete loving incompetence rather than any malice on Duggan's part, a predominantly white jury found the feckless pigs not guilty of doing something they shouldn't have done. Which more or less meant that killing black people is, in fact, the remit of the Metropolitan Police. ACAB Remember that in the last couple of dozen pages there's been talk about electoral fraud. Well, 'voter intimidation' is part of electoral fraud and although the police had a pretty heavy presence in Tower Hamlets during the Mayoral election that got Lutfur Rahman elected, it took a judicial enquiry to highlight that there were literally people harrassing potential voters as they approached the polling station to vote for Rahman. Basically, the police were in a position to know that electoral fraud was happening, and they did nothing. ACAB
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Dec 31, 2016 04:06
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The thing that everybody keeps very quiet about when they talk about the 2011 riots is how the Met very deliberately did not even attempt to stop the looting at White City and Tottenham Hale on the Sunday. They had the manpower - easily outnumbering the looters 2 to 1 - and in full view of TV news cameras stood aside, letting the looters take their time like it was a shopping trip. That was one of the main catalysts of the really widespread breakdown on Monday and Tuesday, an outcome that should have been blatantly obvious because they were pretty much laying out a red carpet. So there are only a couple of possible explanations for the way they acted on Sunday: - They were trying a softly-softly approach to de-escalate things. Hahahahahahahahaha yeah right. - They were spectacularly incompetent and literally didn't notice the DIY Boxing Day sales going on less than 100 yards from their massive line at Tottenham Hale and on telly at White City. - They deliberately let things escalate because Cameron had just announced a pay freeze and funding cuts for Plod (proving he really hadn't learned anything from Mummy Thatcher who gave them a 30% pay rise before flying the economy into Mount Monetarism) and lovely juicy pictures of the city burning down would result in them getting a shitload more money. I mean if you want to get really  about it you can point at the massive boost to personal approval that Boris got out of the whole thing - if you take "cui bono" as the starting point of your conspiracy theories BOZZA LEGERND definitely "won" the riots with all those lovely photo ops of him wielding a broom, not to mention all that water cannon bullshit.
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