/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

From askamanager.com but seems fitting

quote:

I emailed my girlfriend’s boss to complain that he encroached on our relationship

by ALISON GREEN on AUGUST 3, 2016

A reader writes:

My girlfriend recently went on a business trip with her boss. After meeting with their clients for dinner, the two of them headed back to the hotel and had some drinks in the lobby.

I’m completely fine with my girlfriend having one or two drinks with her boss for an hour in the hotel lobby. Not a big deal. Perfectly fine.

The problem was they spent 3+ hours drinking together and she didn’t get back to her hotel room to call me until 11:30 p.m.When she called me, she was totally drunk.

Now I believe her boss crossed the line from “business” into “personal.” He encroached on our personal relationship.

I would never show up at his work and encroach on his business, and if I did I would expect he would address it with me. Likewise, I would hope that he would never encroach on our personal life, and if he does then I have the right to address him professionally, as it now involves me.

Needless to say, I sent him a professional email outlining my concerns. He was lucky I didn’t involve HR as I think it was extremely inappropriate. Do you agree that I was justified in doing so?

Also, what are appropriate boundaries for drinking alone with the boss on a business trip? Is what I outlined above fair? (Number of drinks, time of night, etc.) I would say nothing past 10:00 p.m. as well.

quote:

This isn’t going to be the answer I think you thought it would be.

You emailed your girlfriend’s boss to complain that that he encroached on your personal relationship by socializing with her on a business trip and because she didn’t call you until later that night?

Nooooo.

Your actions and your stance here are frighteningly controlling and wrong.

You had no standing to contact her boss.None.

Your girlfriend is in charge of managing her relationship with her boss and her relationship with you.

I am no fan of getting drunk with coworkers, let alone with bosses, but it’s up to her to decide how she manages her relationships with colleagues. If you have a concern about how those choices impact you or your relationship, you take that up with her. If you’re concerned about how much she drank or with who or for how long or what time she called you, those are issues between the two of you, and that’s where any discussion belongs.

Emailing her boss is far over the line, incredibly undermining to your girlfriend, and just wildly inappropriate.

Your girlfriend is not property that you own. You do not get to complain to other people who she chooses to spend time with, and you definitely don’t get to interfere in her business relationships.

As for her boss being “lucky that you didn’t involve HR” … again, no. You don’t work at this company. You have no standing to involve HR, and there’s nothing to involve HR over anyway. In fact, your girlfriend is the one who’s lucky that you didn’t involve HR, since that would just further add to the professional humiliation you’ve inflicted on her.

And to be clear, what you did was humiliating. You took it upon yourself to try to intervene in her work relationships without her permission, and you’ve almost certainly introduced an incredible awkwardness and tension into her relationship with her boss. You also may have caused her boss to be seriously concerned about her welfare at home, because this kind of control and interference is a pretty well-known flag for abuse.

You owe her a massive apology, but more importantly you owe mher (and future partners, because this is a break-up level offense) some serious soul-searching about boundaries and control.

The scariest part of this letter is that you don’t realize that it’s scary at all. Please rethink this.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:32

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# ? May 14, 2024 11:01

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Oh if we're bringing Ask a Manager in here there is some absolute gold in these hills.

letter writer posted:

I manage a team, and part of their jobs is to provide customer support over the phone. Due to a new product launch, we are expected to provide service outside of our normal hours for a time. This includes some of my team coming in on a day our office is normally closed (based on lowest seniority because no one volunteered).

One employee asked to come in two hours after the start time due to her college graduation ceremony being that same day (she was taking night classes part-time in order to earn her degree). I was unable to grant her request because she was the employee with the lowest seniority and we need coverage for that day. I said that if she could find someone to replace her for those two hours, she could start later. She asked her coworkers, but no one was willing to come in on their day off. After she asked around, some people who were not scheduled for the overtime did switch shifts with other people (but not her) and volunteered to take on overtime from others who were scheduled, but these people are friends outside of work, and as long as there is coverage I don�t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person�s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)

I told this team member that she could not start two hours late and that she would have to skip the ceremony. An hour later, she handed me her work ID and a list of all the times she had worked late/come in early/worked overtime for each and every one of her coworkers. Then she quit on the spot.

I�m a bit upset because she was my best employee by far. Her work was excellent, she never missed a day of work in the six years she worked here, and she was my go-to person for weekends and holidays.

Even though she doesn�t work here any longer, I want to reach out and tell her that quitting without notice because she didn�t get her way isn�t exactly professional. I only want to do this because she was an otherwise great employee, and I don�t want her to derail her career by doing this again and thinking it is okay. She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn�t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had. Since she�s never had anyone to teach her professional norms, I want to help her so she doesn�t make the same mistake again. What do you think is the best way for me to do this?

response posted:

What?! No, under no circumstances should you do that.

If anything, you should consider reaching out to her, apologizing for how you handled the situation, and offering her the job back if she wants it.

I�m not usually a fan of people quitting on the spot, but I applaud her for doing it in this case. She was raised in dozens of foster homes, used to be homeless, has no living family, and apparently managed to graduate from college all on her own. That�s amazing. And while I normally think graduation ceremonies are primarily fluff, I�m hard-pressed to think of anyone who deserves to be able to attend her own graduation ceremony as much as this woman does. You should have been bending over backwards to ensure she could attend.

Rigidly adhering to rules generally isn�t good management. Good management requires nuance and judgment. Sometimes it requires making exceptions for good employees so that you don�t lose them. Sometimes it requires assessing not just what the rules say but what the right and smart thing to do would be.

One of the frustrating things about your letter is that despite rigidly adhering to the rules with this person, you were willing to make an exception for someone else (the person with the concert tickets). I�m at a loss to understand how concert tickets are an obvious exception-maker but this person�s situation wasn�t.

And you note that she was your �best employee by far�! She never missed a day of work in six years, she was your go-to person, she covered for every other person there, and she was all-around excellent � and yet when she needed you to help her out with something that was important to her, you refused.

There�s a lesson to be learned here, but it�s not for her.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:34

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

zakharov posted:

Oh if we're bringing Ask a Manager in here there is some absolute gold in these hills.

quote:

(Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person�s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)

And there's no cost involved in a graduation, you loving idiot robot manager.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 17:37

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

racist as hell actually

Sjs00 fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Jan 2, 2017

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:02

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

lol if that dude tried to justify changing a schedule for a concert and not the girls graduation to her face. Good on her for quitting right then and there.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:31

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

lol I've seen that Ask a Manager post before, pretty wild, it reads like parody. I forget what thread it was, probably in BFC.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:33

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

zakharov posted:

Oh if we're bringing Ask a Manager in here there is some absolute gold in these hills.

i was completely shocked that it didn't devolve into some rant about millenials

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:35

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Business Gorillas posted:

i was completely shocked that it didn't devolve into some rant about millenials

It basically did, the whole "I need to reach out and tell her how unprofessional she was" part is that.

"drat kids today, not bending over backwards for every unreasonable request from management and liking it, like I did."

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:41

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Sjs00 posted:

racist as hell actually

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:42

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Anyone have more Hall of Fame Ask a Manager posts? Those two are amazing, but I've read them both before and their site doesn't have a "best of" section.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:47

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Weirdest Posts of 2016

Worst Bosses of 2016

Here's a taste

my manager shows up while I�m having chemotherapy to talk about work

quote:

I work at a small branch, which is part of a larger company. My office has a manager, an assistant manager, a receptionist, and nine other employees. I have been diagnosed with cancer. I am able to schedule my chemotherapy on my regular days off. Since my job has no physical labor and we don�t deal with the public at all and only deal with coworkers from other offices by phone or email, my cancer and treatments have not interfered with work and I�m still able to go in as normal. My coworkers know and have been understanding.

Each of us has a calendar where our days off (or in rare cases, meetings at other branches) are shown. The manager is supposed to have access to this, but our manager, Robert, is on the road most of the time and is rarely in our office. The receptionist, Osha, also has access so she can know who is in and who is out so she can direct calls appropriately. No one else is allowed to have access. The assistant manager, Ned, is not responsible for our schedules and is only responsible for dealing with employees who are in the office on a given day.

Recently while I was having chemotherapy, Ned showed up at the clinic and started asking me about work matters. I was completely surprised that he even knew where I was and that he was asking me about work on my off-time. The things he was asking about were not emergencies or work with deadlines. When I went back to work after my days off, Osha was waiting to speak with me and apologize. She was almost in tears because Ned had asked her about my schedule and whether I was on days off or at a meeting. She didn�t want to tell him at first because the calendars are supposed to be confidential, but he threatened to fire her if she didn�t tell him, and he also demanded the name of the clinic after she admitted that she knew what clinic I was getting my chemotherapy at.

I was really upset that Ned had threatened to fire Osha for following the rules and trying to keep the calendar confidential, and for coming to ask me about work stuff on my time off while I have having treatments. When Robert was actually in the office, I complained to him about Ned�s behavior and he assured me it would be dealt with. Well, him dealing with it was firing Osha for revealing confidential information that was on the calendar when she wasn�t supposed to. He gave Ned access to the calendars instead, so now Ned has access to my schedule and will come to the clinic when he has questions about work.

Robert says Ned isn�t doing anything wrong and when I complained to the company�s HR person about both Ned and Robert, I received the same answer. HR said that Robert was within his rights to terminate Osha since she breached confidentiality and she knew that doing so was a breach of our code of conduct. They said that if she had an issue, she should have spoken to the manager instead of taking it upon herself to release confidential information. HR also said that in regard to Ned coming to the clinic, �he is well within his rights� to seek my knowledge on workplace-related matters and �if the manager and assistant manager deem this necessary, it is up their discretion and not a matter where I can advise them to do otherwise.� I have since found out that the HR person is a family member of Robert�s.

I feel bad that Osha got fired and I don�t know where else to complain or what to do next because Robert, Ned, and the HR person are all against me on this.

Also, I have asked the clinic not to admit Ned, but sometimes he comes in anyway or waits until no one is looking before he comes in. There have been times when the nurses have asked him to leave or told him to get out of the room I am in. Sometimes he lies to them and says it is an emergency, and one volunteer told me Ned told the nurse on duty that he was family. I keep trying to tell him that he is disturbing me during my treatment but he either doesn�t listen or makes veiled references to me losing my job (which would also cause me to lose my benefits). His behavior is stressing me out even more than I already am.

In the comments this OP mentions that the company is contesting Osha's unemployment claim for insubordination. I get angrier every time I read this one.

Also the AAM "jerks" category has lots of good stuff.

zakharov fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Jan 2, 2017

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:55

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Okay okay I finally caught up with this thread, jesus, y'all posted up a storm. Thanks for eventually stopping the derails I would have told you to stop.

You knew the sacrifices required when you signed up to mod. Constant vigilance and an iron fist is required to keep the savage hordes from tearing each other apart. The lidless eye wreathed in flame is always watching. No rest for the overlords.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:55

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

zakharov posted:

Weirdest Posts of 2016

Worst Bosses of 2016

Here's a taste

my manager shows up while I’m having chemotherapy to talk about work

In the comments this OP mentions that the company is contesting Osha's unemployment claim for insubordination. I get angrier every time I read this one.

Also the AAM "jerks" category has lots of good stuff.

Holy poo poo, lady, get a restraining order on that loon outside of office grounds.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 18:59

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

zakharov posted:

Here's a taste

my manager shows up while I�m having chemotherapy to talk about work

I enjoy the gimmick of picking names for people from Game of Thrones characters. R/relationships should do that, would make all the cheating and incest more interesting.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:03

Griefor: Jun 11, 2009

Ride The Gravitron posted:

From askamanager.com but seems fitting

/r/relationships - I would never show up at his work and encroach on his business

Edit:

Pvt.Scott posted:

Holy poo poo, lady, get a restraining order on that loon outside of office grounds.

That's ideally a good move but she's probably fearing for her job. Ned is abusing her desire to keep her job to do poo poo that would get a non co-worker a restraining order. I'm so glad I work in a field that is in demand in a country with employee-favorable employment laws.

Griefor fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Jan 2, 2017

# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:08

Griefor: Jun 11, 2009

Hypothesis: Quote = edit
Action: Press quote, edit post
Expected result: I see 1 edited post
Actual result: I see my original post with a new post below it
Conclusion: Quote != edit

Griefor fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Jan 2, 2017

# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:18

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

WampaLord posted:

I enjoy the gimmick of picking names for people from Game of Thrones characters. R/relationships should do that, would make all the cheating and incest more interesting.

That is a pretty awesome way of doing things.

"...and then Hodor told Littlefinger that I had slept with Sansa! How could he betray my trust? Oh, woe is me! ...Should I open the relationship?"

# ? Jan 2, 2017 19:46

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

I don't normally advocate the death of strangers on the internet, well usually only once a week or so, but here's hoping for real that Manager Ned is introduced to cancer or Wolfe the Wunderkid very soon cuz gently caress that dude

# ? Jan 2, 2017 20:02

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Griefor posted:

Hypothesis: Quote = edit
Action: Press quote, edit post
Expected result: I see 1 edited post
Actual result: I see my original post with a new post below it
Conclusion: Quote != edit

This will really get you if you use the awful app, if you quote or store a new post, even editing an old one won't delete that content. Posting will yield a new post. You have to back out of the thread to delete the cache first. (I might have this backwards...)

# ? Jan 2, 2017 20:40

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Holy poo poo. Manager Ned is lower than dogshit and the rest of that horrid company is no better. I'm well aware of the psychology of corporate leadership and how managers often don't see their "cogs" as real human beings, but I guess I kind of expected a woman going through chemo not to be harassed by her superiors. Guess not!!!! :stonklol:

# ? Jan 2, 2017 21:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

How the gently caress does the boss justify firing the woman for being coerced into releasing information and still justify keeping the man that did the coercion and then giving him total control of the information he wasn't supposed to be allowed to access in the first place?

That business is ripe for a wrongful termination lawsuit, especially since the coercer is using said information to harass an employee outside of work. That guy should be in jail and his boss should be poor.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 22:10

Gaj: Apr 30, 2006

Nepotism?

# ? Jan 2, 2017 23:04

DrManiac: Feb 29, 2012

Ride The Gravitron posted:

From askamanager.com but seems fitting

Yeah gently caress this dude. I definitely learned my lesson wrt managers this year.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 23:20

Menstrual Show: Jun 3, 2004

I love that there are still people out there who see HR as something other than a cost center whose sole purpose is to track hours and limit company liability. Sorry to all of you Chief People Officers or whatever out there!

# ? Jan 2, 2017 23:26

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Having read a few of the other Ask A Manager "best" posts, the whole site is way too employer-friendly.

One story about interns banding together to request a change in a company's dress code was met with shock and aplomb as though they had asked to be allowed to have a blood orgy in the lobby. The interns were all fired and mostly everyone agreed that it was a cool and good thing for the company to do.

# ? Jan 2, 2017 23:30

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

IIRC that one caused more controversy than most. She has no problem ripping horrible bosses (see the worst bosses of 2016 post).

# ? Jan 2, 2017 23:37

Melchiresa: Jun 21, 2006; Nice guy.
Tries hard.
Loves ~~hot dogs~~ The Game.

Oh man, I love Ask A Manager. I saw the update to this post and felt sorry for the girl all over again:

quote:

My mother wants to write to the newspaper about my �tragic story of shattered dreams� and nothing I say can stop her

I�m a 20something woman in tech. Since day one, I had to fight for a place in this field, convincing interviewers that I could do more than customer support, that I deserve the same opportunities my male counterparts have. To this day, I have only had three jobs (tech support, trainee, and junior developer), and I worked really hard to get each of them.

The problem started when I lost my last job. I returned from a sick leave only to find out I was no longer an employee. My coworkers were shocked and outraged to the point they made my boss apologize. I consulted a lawyer, but there was nothing that could be done. I immediately polished my resume and started job searching. However, the job market toughened during the time I was away. If I get a call, I never go further than the technical interview. Ever.

Enter my parents. They are a bad case of helicopter parents, overprotective and scared. They are the type that would demand full names and phone numbers of everyone at a birthday party, only to drag you out of it hours later because they found someone has a tattoo. They disapproved my choice of career path since day one, saying that is �dangerous,� �full of men,� and �not a place for a sweet girl like you.� They are both retired teachers, and still insist that their field (high school education) is �the best thing that could happen to anyone.� They wish to see me at a high school, teaching teenagers how to type, use text processors and spreadsheets and write letters. When I tell them that that�s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, they become aggressive and tell me I should be grateful they pay for my food and haven�t kick me out yet.

A few weeks ago, my father approached me when my mother was shopping and told me that she�s planning to send a letter telling my �tragic story of shattered dreams at the hands of greedy and abusive corporations� to a local newspaper. I�ve seen her staying awake until late hours, but I never imagined this could be the reason. When I approached her, she got defensive and started to say things like �I do this because I love you,� �you�ll thank me later,� �this is the only way you�ll be able to get a job,� and �do you want to end up like your cousin?� (My cousin has an art degree and her unsuccessful job search and minimum wage jobs drove to severe depression and now she lives on welfare.) I tried to explain her that I don�t think this is the way, and that I don�t want to get a job because someone out there pities me, or to be the result of a public relations campaign and become a check in the diversity box. Even if she doesn�t mentions my name, hers will still appear, and as her Facebook profile is linked to my father�s stating their relationship (as in �married to John Smith since 1983�), anyone will be able to find me.

Is there anything else I can say to persuade her to drop the subject?

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:08

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Melchiresa posted:

Oh man, I love Ask A Manager. I saw the update to this post and felt sorry for the girl all over again:

If her mother writes the story to the paper and they pick it up, she should just write her version and have them print it as a rebuttal. The drama would sell.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:12

30 Goddamned Dicks: Sep 8, 2010; I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.; Fun Shoe

WampaLord posted:

One story about interns banding together to request a change in a company's dress code was met with shock and aplomb as though they had asked to be allowed to have a blood orgy in the lobby.

That's because the interns kept asking even after being politely told no.That full story went "interns in a conservative office think they should be allowed to wear whatever they want, one intern asks their boss, boss says no, intern then bands together all the interns in some sort of weird coup attempt which obviously goes south". The interns were so amazingly, completely off base with their request and their response to being told "no, this is a conservative field and business wear is absolutely the dress code of any office in this field" being basically a tantrum is absolutely something that should be made fun of.

I've read every single AAM post since the beginning and I absolutely would not call her employer friendly. She's all for employee rights and standing up for yourself in an office.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:18

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

30 Goddamned Dicks posted:

That's because the interns kept asking even after being politely told no.That full story went "interns in a conservative office think they should be allowed to wear whatever they want, one intern asks their boss, boss says no, intern then bands together all the interns in some sort of weird coup attempt which obviously goes south". The interns were so amazingly, completely off base with their request and their response to being told "no, this is a conservative field and business wear is absolutely the dress code of any office in this field" being basically a tantrum is absolutely something that should be made fun of.

I've read every single AAM post since the beginning and I absolutely would not call her employer friendly. She's all for employee rights and standing up for yourself in an office.

I didn't mean her, I meant more the comments. Lots of "they deserved to be fired!" I agree that the actual blogger is cool.

It wasn't a "weird coup attempt" how are the interns going to start running the company? It was a polite request, it should have been met with a polite refusal, not termination.

In the battle of pettiness, "complaining about dress code" is way less petty than "fired interns for complaining about dress code." It's the power dynamic of the thing.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:22

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

WampaLord posted:

Having read a few of the other Ask A Manager "best" posts, the whole site is way too employer-friendly.

One story about interns banding together to request a change in a company's dress code was met with shock and aplomb as though they had asked to be allowed to have a blood orgy in the lobby. The interns were all fired and mostly everyone agreed that it was a cool and good thing for the company to do.

I don't think it was that they asked. I think it was how they asked -- circulating a petition and dropping it on the CEO's desk is snotty.

At my company, there's a base dress code that's fairly relaxed, but each department can make a stricter one if they like. My department was stricter than the standard for a long time, until enough people brought it up to managers and the director that they thought relaxing it to company minimum would be a good idea. They framed it as "improving engagement," "no productivity impact," and "1/2 of us work in Denver, where it snows a lot and it'd be nice to not have to worry about screwing up our nicer clothes on crappy days."

Phoenix based director said he'd give it a one month trial run at both sites. Once he saw nothing had really changed and we weren't dressing like total bums, he agreed to permanently drop the dress code to company minimum.

15 minutes later we got an email from the VP that he was leaving the company in a month, so it probably was just a parting gift. His replacement did not bring back a stricter one, so it's jeans, a collared shirt, and sneakers most of the time for me.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:30

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

blackmet posted:

I don't think it was that they asked. I think it was how they asked -- circulating a petition and dropping it on the CEO's desk is snotty.

A petition is an incredibly innocuous way to ask for something. Definitely not worth firing people over.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:34

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

blackmet posted:

I don't think it was that they asked. I think it was how they asked -- circulating a petition and dropping it on the CEO's desk is snotty.

I couldn't disagree more.

Improbable Lobster posted:

A petition is an incredibly innocuous way to ask for something. Definitely not worth firing people over.

If anything, it seems like they went about the request in the most professional way possible.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:39

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Not that it's worth firing over, but the idea of a bunch of interns bitching to the CEO about dress code just boggles my mind. Maybe it makes sense when the whole org is 50 people and the CEO is Bob in the office next door, but otherwise I'd he/she has way more important things to do.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:45

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

mobby_6kl posted:

Not that it's worth firing over, but the idea of a bunch of interns bitching to the CEO about dress code just boggles my mind. Maybe it makes sense when the whole org is 50 people and the CEO is Bob in the office next door, but otherwise I'd he/she has way more important things to do.

The secret about CEOs is that they don't do anything important

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:46

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

http://www.askamanager.org/2016/06/i-was-fired-from-my-internship-for-writing-a-proposal-for-a-more-flexible-dress-code.html

I think AAM was incredibly fair and even handed about this. Explained that firing was probably a bit much, but understands why a company would do that. And her reasoning makes sense: a petition with signatures does scream "We know more than you", and when the "we" are summer interns it doesn't seem worth the effort to keep them around.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:47

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Those Interns can just be references for one another, they don't have to put on their resume why they left. If they were unpaid they were probably better off for it.

My experience with banding together to ignore a workplace declaration has been largely positive and is generally recommend it to others. Sucks if they had signed leases to pay rent for those internships though.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Jan 3, 2017

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:50

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Trevor Hale posted:

http://www.askamanager.org/2016/06/i-was-fired-from-my-internship-for-writing-a-proposal-for-a-more-flexible-dress-code.html

I think AAM was incredibly fair and even handed about this. Explained that firing was probably a bit much, but understands why a company would do that. And her reasoning makes sense: a petition with signatures does scream "We know more than you", and when the "we" are summer interns it doesn't seem worth the effort to keep them around.

quote:

You were interns there � basically guests for the summer.

"Guests" is a loving weird way of describing people donating you free labor.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:51

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

WampaLord posted:

"Guests" is a loving weird way of describing people donating you free labor.

Looking down upon interns (or any entry level worker period) as worthless plebs and screwing them over whenever possible is the American way!

# ? Jan 3, 2017 00:57

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# ? May 14, 2024 11:01

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

Improbable Lobster posted:

A petition is an incredibly innocuous way to ask for something. Definitely not worth firing people over.

Interns: We think we should have more flexibility in what we wear to work.

Manager: No, we're not changing our policies.

Interns: But Sue can wear shoes that aren't a part of the dress code. Why is that?

Manager: That's between her and us. Now get back to work.

Interns: Hey! I know what we can do! Let's circulate a petition amongst us demanding a looser dress code and pointing out that it's not fair that Sue can wear tennis shoes to work. We'll drop it on the CEO'S desk! That'll show them.

*************

CEO: What the gently caress is this? Why am I dealing with this bullshit from a bunch of children who aren't even real employees?

Manager: I don't know. We already told them no.

CEO: Fire 'em. Not like they do anything that helps my bottom line anyway.

*******
Manager: CEO is pissed. Got to let you all go.

Interns: WHAT! WE WERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD! SUE HAD BETTER BE GETTING FIRED TOO!

Manager: This isn't a democracy and you're annoying us, so go find something else to do for the summer. BTW, Sue lost her leg in Iraq, so we have a deal with her that she can wear whatever shoes she wants.

In the end, you've probably wasted 2 days worth of company time and caused a huge ruckus over something that should have been a 2 minute conversation.

Firing them might be extreme, but these are 3 month employees who are contributing little to your bottom line and probably annoying the gently caress out of you and any of your paid, producing staff that might be near them.

# ? Jan 3, 2017 01:00

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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