/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

Tiny Deer posted:

Also while I'm on a ladysplaining tear here: the problem with the weird porn women like over the weird porn men like is that in women's disgusting porn trash there's a good chance a man will be treated like a woman starring in porn, which is anathema.

People here would be just as weirded out here if it was a guy who liked furry porn or giantesses or whatever

That said, who cares. People like weird fetish poo poo.

Andrast fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Jan 5, 2017

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:48

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# ? May 28, 2024 23:04

The Lobotomy Kid: Aug 27, 2011; and act like a nut.

Someone's been pissing on the men's room floor at work and I [31/M] think I may have identified the culprit. What should I do?Non-Romantic

quote:

submitted 19 hours ago * by larebareblog
Needless to say, this is absolutely disgusting. It all started about a month ago, which makes me think it's someone new at the office. There's only one urinal, and beneath it is just tons of piss. It's impossible to avoid, your soles end up all sticky and the whole room just reeks.
This morning, I was making my morning constitutional and heard someone come in and use the urinal. Right before he left, another guy came in. When I emerged from the stall, the second guy looked at me and was like, "Dude, any idea who's been pissing on the floor?" So I asked him who it was who left when he walked in. He replied it was the new guy in finance.
Bingo!
Granted, the new guy doesn't seem the type, but then again, no one really seems the type. What kind of person pisses on the floor? Which leads me to believe that perhaps there's some sort of odd medical condition that may account for this: uncontrollably shaky hands perhaps or a stream that's somehow ultra-pressurized. Either way, it's made trips to the bathroom very unpleasant and I have no doubt the custodial staff shares my disgust. Obviously, I have no smoking gun evidence it's him and it would be pretty unfeasible and undoubtedly fireable to attempt to get it. What should I do?
TL;DR: I think I know who's been pissing on the men's room floor. Now what?
EDIT: Thanks to the person who commented that it could be a leaky urinal. I wouldn't have thought of that. While I don't necessarily believe it is a leak, it provided me the opening I needed to email our custodial manager without making it seem like I was accusing someone.

Also a palate cleanser, I guess.

Overheard neighbor is starving student - how can I help??

quote:

submitted 13 hours ago by nothanks1000
The walls in my apartment are really thin. I (28 f) am currently witnessing my neighbor (23 f) pleading with her mom on the phone to give her money because she is starving and hasn't been able to afford bus far so she's been walking everywhere.
She's working and a full-time student so she's trying, but it's not enough.
It breaks my heart that she's going to bed on an empty stomach and will have to walk to an 8am interview tomorrow.
And her mom doesn't seem to care at all.
I want to help her: bring her food and give her some money, but I know she'll be embarrassed and upset that I heard everything.
I feel so so horrible.
She is literally bawling her eyes out right now.
What should I do??
tl;dr: overheard neighbor is literally a starving student and parents won't help her. What can I do without embarrassing her??

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:49

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Leon Einstein posted:

Who said throat gagging is normal?

Every major porn studio, apparently.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:50

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Andrast posted:

People here would be just as weirded out here if the person posting was a guy who liked furry porn or giantesses or whatever

That said, who cares. People like weird fetish poo poo.

i dont think porn between anime children or bestiality qualifies as harmless weird festish poo poo and i think it should explicitly be shamed and looked down upon, not equivocated to porn between two consenting adults

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:52

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Zelder posted:

No big tit milfs were harmed in the making of this production

glad your mom is ok

quote:

Overheard neighbor is starving student - how can I help??

aw.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:52

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Meridian posted:

Pull up, thread!

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:52

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

Yawgmoth posted:

^^^plural should definitely be milves
Maybe you should buy more people avatars, that will surely win your dumb argument for you

Suggesting people who have problems with each other talk about it like adults is a dumb argument? I'm sorry you're such a dysfunctional human being.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:52

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pearnicious posted:

Suggesting people who have problems with each other talk about it like adults is a dumb argument? I'm sorry you're such a dysfunctional human being.

Buying people red text avatars is basically admitting you lost the argument.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:53

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

1. Complain about how stupid a derail is
2. Absolutely refuse to let it drop

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:53

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Tolkien minority posted:

i dont think porn between anime children or bestiality qualifies as harmless weird festish poo poo and i think it should explicitly be shamed and looked down upon, not equivocated to porn between two consenting adults

so why are you equivocating bestiality to porn about consenting adults with imaginary dog dicks

Moving to another country to be with my boyfriend who can't say I love you.

quote:

My boyfriend [35m] and I [30f] have been together for a year. Our current plan is for me to move to his city (in another country), move in with him, in a couple years get married, buy a house, and have children. We've chatted extensively about this plan. We still have problems. 1. He is having less and less interest in sex and even at times feels like he is forced to perform. He says we either are making love or not and there is no inbetween. I feel horrible about this. I had no idea I was doing this. He is my first boyfriend and I just have never had the in between moments. I don't really no how to do them. 2. He can't say I love you. He won't try. He says he likes me a lot. I told him that the way he describes his feelings for me is more like describing a friend versus a girlfriend. Part of me thinks that his is more of a cultural thing: He is french and I am american. He can't even tell his mom that he love her. 3. He thinks about sleeping with other people. He wouldn't tell him me if he would prefer sleeping with other people.
I am really worried about moving in with him with these problems. I talked to him about how I want these problems solved before moving in he feels the opposite that the only way to fix them is to move in together. In the end I just feel like I have a lot at stake here and he doesn't have much. I have tried breaking it off - thinking I will still move, get my own place, and maybe we can try again but he wants to work on it but I don't know how we can at this point.
TLDR: Moving to a different country to be with my boyfriend but we have problems that I don't know how to solve.

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Jan 5, 2017

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:53

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

porn

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:56

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

zakharov posted:

1. Complain about how stupid a derail is
2. Absolutely refuse to let it drop

why are you posting the first and last page of the goon handbook

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:56

CabaretVoltaire: Jun 10, 2003; Better than Turin Brakes.

Tiny Deer posted:

Also while I'm on a ladysplaining tear here: the problem with the weird porn women like over the weird porn men like is that in women's disgusting porn trash there's a good chance a man will be treated like a woman starring in porn, which is anathema.

Weird porn that men like is all real stuff that's actually possible.
A lot of it isn't normal but consenting adults can do it if they really want to.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:57

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

porn

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:57

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

so why are you equivocating bestiality to porn about consenting adults with imaginary dog dicks

because when i google the omega verse, this is the first paragraph describing it on some weird wiki

"Alpha/Beta/Omega or Alpha/Omega (occasionally Alpha/Beta) is a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human"

yeah people with dog biology having weird dog sex is bestiality to me sorry bro

edit:

im gonna drop this derail you all can go jerkoff to anime children or dog dicks in peace

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:57

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

WampaLord posted:

Buying people red text avatars is basically admitting you lost the argument.

Well yeah, it's shallow and pedantic, but what else am I going to do with :10bux:

? I'm wasting my time on this forum, obviously I have nothing better to do.

zakharov posted:

1. Complain about how stupid a derail is
2. Absolutely refuse to let it drop

To be fair, I did drop it. Other people keep picking it back up. Can we not?

# ? Jan 5, 2017 17:58

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I'm a normal person without any incredibly hosed-up sex issues l and if I ever hear that a girl has read gross fanfic I'm goign to utterly flip my poo poo and accuse everyone in sight range of being a pedophile dogfucker

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:00

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Actually dogs and wolves don't follow that kind of social structure, so it's just humans with a different culture, and d o g d i c k s

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:00

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

CabaretVoltaire posted:

Weird porn that men like is all real stuff that's actually possible.

Please share with me the secret of turning my dick into 7 prehensile tentacle dicks that are all 10 feet long.

asking for a friend

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:01

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Found out about my [20/M] gf's [25/F] weird sexual sherlock fanfiction

I slept at my gf's house last night and when she left for work she forgot her phone. I wanted to prank her by setting her background to a silly selfie or something, and when I opened her phone it was still on a fanfiction page. I was curious and read what it was about and didn't really understand it, a lot of talk about 'Alphas' and 'Omegas'. So I googled it, found something about Omegaverse fanfiction, apparently its about some men being able to become pregnant and certain females having retractable penisses????????? So I skimmed through some more chapters and it contained really weird poo poo about Sherlock being someone's 'property' but John Watson protecting him, and they have sex in the end. It really weirded me out because of multiple reasons, beside the obvious ones. The day before we watched the new Sherlock episode together, and she must have read it in bed next to me, which kind of creeps me out. It also bothers me that now I probably can't watch Sherlock anymore without thinking about that weird stuff. Am I just overreacting? I mean everyone has their weird kinks, but the whole situation just kind of shocked me. It also weirds me out that she has sexual fantasies about characters in a show we watch together... I ust don't really know how to react. I sent her a fb message where I casually said that I saw it and laughed about it but no response so far. I do really like her but right now I'm just seeing a really weird side of her I guess.

tl:dr: Read my gf's fanfiction, got creeped out, need some help to stop being weirded out.

Does this motherfucker not know Sherlock is a character from the 19th century???

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:01

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

CabaretVoltaire posted:

Weird porn that men like is all real stuff that's actually possible.
A lot of it isn't normal but consenting adults can do it if they really want to.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:02

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

OK I've changed my mind, this porn derail is really just exhausting. I chuckled at first but brothers, give it a rest

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:03

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

Tolkien minority posted:

edit:

im gonna drop this derail you all can go jerkoff to anime children or dog dicks in peace

Neighbor Cut Down My Tree [New York]

quote:

First I'll say I think it is my tree, it is near the property line, but I have always thought of it as being on my side of the line but a survey would be required to confirm, but for the purposes of the question I'll assume it is in fact my tree. Also I will refer to things at "mine" but the house and property are my parents whom I live with when I am not at college.

The tree was located on the side yard of my house and next to my neighbors drive way. The night prior to cutting down my tree, a branch that was over hanging their driveway, fell and damaged their vehicle, than the next day while everyone was at work the neighbor hired a company to cut the tree down.

Question One: Are we liable for the damage to there car?
Question Two: Can they cut down a tree that is near the property line like that?

quote:

Holy poo poo! New York is the tree lottery bonus round! Not only does NY allow for actual damages to be recovered when someone cuts down your tree, but N.Y. Real Prop. Acts. Law � 861 actually allows for treble damages as a punitive action.

OP, have your folks get a survey, an arborist, and an attorney (in that order).

a man dont gently caress with a nother mans tree

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:04

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Tolkien minority posted:

because when i google the omega verse, this is the first paragraph describing it on some weird wiki

"Alpha/Beta/Omega or Alpha/Omega (occasionally Alpha/Beta) is a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human"

yeah people with dog biology having weird dog sex is bestiality to me sorry bro

edit:

im gonna drop this derail you all can go jerkoff to anime children or dog dicks in peace

Your interpretation of that paragraph is pretty enlightening

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

here is the Omegaverse powerpoint presentation used at Dashcon

I'm not posting that to defend it, but everyone should read it, it's hilarious

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:05

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

Captain Yossarian posted:

OK I've changed my mind, this porn derail is really just exhausting. I chuckled at first but brothers, give it a rest

Something something something refractory period

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:06

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

I caught my friend [23F] of 18 months lying to me [26M], I'm ready to end the friendship but is it just anger?

quote:

I caught my friend (let's call her Liar) lying to me about her whereabouts. I really wasn't trying to pry but she was saying one thing and her Facebook clearly showed her doing something else. What she does isn't much of my business but lying to me is, I feel, the issue.

At first, all I did was ask basic questions and she started "trickle lying" to me and I told her that her story didn't add up.

I then sent her a screenshot of her facebook posts proving she was lying to me.

She immediately said, right as we were chatting, that her Grandma was dying and I just left it at that. If I really wanted to verify that, I could message her mom on Facebook.

I've told her before that our friendship was really one-sided in which she denies. I'm ready just to cut ties.
Should I write a message to her stating I don't want to talk to her anymore or just leave it be and move on?
Something like:

"I'm really disappointed that you lied to me. It is rude and disrespectful. I wonder if whatever you needed to cover up was worth ending this friendship."

Also, I take the train with her but she's on school break so I won't see her again until later this month on the train. So I can't really visually avoid her later. She and I, along with other friends were a tight train friend group.

TL;DR Train buddy lied to me, want to go No Contact. Would like advice on most mature way of doing so.

quote:

It wasn't that evasive. We're in the same Facebook group so her posts just showed up on my feed.
I know for sure I'm not dating her. Like I said she initiates all contact with me. She can't push me away when, by default, she has all the space she wants.

quote:

That's not the issue, it's the lie. What was the point?

quote:

That's a good point, it's just the lie that's throwing me off my logic.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:06

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

Pick posted:

here is the Omegaverse powerpoint presentation used at Dashcon

I'm not posting that to defend it, but everyone should read it, it's hilarious

lol at doing a loving powerpoint presentation about your weird hosed-up fetish-universe

And yes, it's hilarious

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:08

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I caught my friend [23F] of 18 months lying to me [26M], I'm ready to end the friendship but is it just anger?

Doesn't this guy know not to engage Strangers on a Train???

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:09

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

I learned my [24m] girlfriend [23f] of 4 years has been waiting for me to propose , I love her but I'm not sure this is what I want for my life. I'm also afraid to lose her.

quote:

I have been dating my gf for about 3 years now, we met in college and have a good relationship. Recently she told me (there might have been some alcohol involved) that she's waiting for me to propose and she got sentimental and asked me if I thought there was anything wrong with her. It was a very uncomfortable situation. And I'm not sure what to do.

We've briefly talked about this before and I have told her that I wasn't ready for something like that and that although I love her very much I don't see myself making that decision anytime in the near future.
I think my main problem with her is she will not do anything to change or even discuss certain topics, this alone feels like a red flag to me. One example of this is working out, I used to work out a lot when I met her but since have moved and fallen heavily out of shape (50 lbs difference at least). I try to get back into shape very hard and ask her to join me and go to the gym with me but she won't do it. This would be okay (not the best but it's her life I guess) except she won't even talk about it she instantly gets mad at me when I bring the topic and will remain angry through the rest of the day. Another big example of this is activities to share together: She won't try things I like or do activities I enjoy and gets slightly mad every time I ask. I've previously tried to do things she likes and had an okay time, I expected her to reciprocate but she says she dislikes everything I do. I'd say we have very opposite likes and personalities but we love each other quite a bit.

I'm pretty shy / introverted, so I don't share this with anyone and don't have any friends that I'd be comfortable with talking about this.
She might have to move to a different town soon and I dont think I want to follow her and drop my career/studies. I also don't want her to stay because of me.
Im kinda lost here anyone have any ideas?

Tl;Dr girlfriend wants me to propose but Im not sure I want to, she's very I flexible and I'm afraid I'd be doing a big mistake either way: lose her or be engaged with the wrong person

"I have nothing in common with my girlfriend, shes obstinate and won't discuss difficult topics with me, and I don't even really seem to like her. Should we get married reddit?"

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:10

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pick posted:

here is the Omegaverse powerpoint presentation used at Dashcon

I'm not posting that to defend it, but everyone should read it, it's hilarious

this is the best use of flowcharts I've seen in years

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:10

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

Why is that that hilarious? That's some creepy weird poo poo. I would breakup with someone over that.

Lmao. Yup, that story is absolutely hilarious, and if you would legit break up with someone over reading weird slash fanfics, you are the most sheltered idiot in existence. :allears:

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Andrast posted:

lol at doing a loving powerpoint presentation about your weird hosed-up fetish-universe

And yes, it's hilarious

It's funny until you hit the part about how it's really feminist and then it is loving hysterical

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:11

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I caught my friend [23F] of 18 months lying to me [26M], I'm ready to end the friendship but is it just anger?

Man, this is just so vague. So they're not dating, she lied about her whereabouts...but why? Why is it important, why does he care?

This just seems like such a non-issue and the lack of details makes it even more so. I have no idea what the problem is here other than a girl he sort of knows telling him a white lie? He even says her whereabouts are none of his business, so why is he prying in the first place? Is this dude just a total weirdo?

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:13

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

There's a 85% chance that dude is gay so just read it with those lenses.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:16

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Tolkien minority posted:

I learned my [24m] girlfriend [23f] of 4 years has been waiting for me to propose , I love her but I'm not sure this is what I want for my life. I'm also afraid to lose her.

A partner's strong reluctance to address problems and hostility about even discussing them is probably why I'm not married right now.

Well that, and cigarettes. Both suck.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:16

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

Pick posted:

here is the Omegaverse powerpoint presentation used at Dashcon

I'm not posting that to defend it, but everyone should read it, it's hilarious

Imagine making that and just not dying of concentrated shame halfway through

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:17

ziasquinn: Jan 1, 2006; Fallen Rib

quote:

Me 41 with my 42 M bf of 1 month who said he had to drink heavily to get through holidays with ME

[quote="CabaretVoltaire" post="]468009623"]
Elaine Benes
[/quote]

Lmao

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:19

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

jesus christ

Husband[30M] no longer wants relationship with his father [50s M] should I [30s F] intervene?

quote:

A few weeks ago my husband and I( both 30s) were visiting my father in law for a few days. We have been doing infertility treatments and father in law asked how it was going. After finding out our only shot left is IVF and we currently can't afford it father in law offered to pay for it. We were happy and grateful. Father in law is loaded and rhis would not be a strain on him at all. A few days after the visit father in law calls my husband and says he changed his mind. We were disappointed but it's his money and what not. My husband did not ask why he changed his mind and we both figured it was none of our business. Last night my brother in law posted his brand new truck online- a very expensive high end truck. My brother in law is late 20s doesn't work and lives with father in law. When husband asked how he afforded the truck he was their dad bought it for him as a Christmas gift. (Side note my husband got a $20 anazon card as his gift) my husband is furious and called his dad. He asked why he would offer us money only to change his mind and then buy his brother a truck. Father in law stated that he felt the truck was a better investment. A truck to your unemployed adult kid who lives at home and has 2 DUIs was the better investment? My question is husband wants to cut all ties with his father( parents are divorced)never see him or talk with him again- husband is that hurt. I feel like I should try to save the relationship. Shoukd I back off or try to get husband to still keep in contact with father in law?
TL;DR father in law offered us money for IVF but then bought brother in law truck instead. Husband wants to cut father in law from his life.

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:19

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# ? May 28, 2024 23:04

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

That father in law is the ultimate childfree, playing the longest loving con ever

# ? Jan 5, 2017 18:21

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