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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Gluten Freeman posted:

hmmm what could "distinctive recessive traits" possibly mean....

Deviated septum, severe underbite and positively Frida Kahloan unibrow?

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A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Sickle cell anemia?

haha

Porfiriato
Jan 4, 2016


Gluten Freeman posted:

hmmm what could "distinctive recessive traits" possibly mean....

Sounds like she's sad her kids won't look like this once her "distinctive recessive traits" get drowned out by swarthy non-aryan blood

Clark Nova
Jul 18, 2004

The recessive trait is a belief that the beauty of the White Aryan woman must not perish from the earth.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Four fingers
Functioning fibrillin production
No widows peak

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
Couldn't it be red hair or something?

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


im pretty sure she just means white lol

Khorne
May 1, 2002

ArbitraryC posted:

Couldn't it be red hair or something?
It could be red hair, non-brown eye colors, and a number of other things. Even stuff like attached vs non-attached earlobe, curly (dominant) vs straight (recessive) hair.

There's also square jaws being recessive but I don't think a bunch of sisters looking like Mitt Romney is what she's talking about. What she's talking about would depend on her ethnicity, honestly.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 07:20 on Jan 9, 2017

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Gluten Freeman posted:

hmmm what could "distinctive recessive traits" possibly mean....

ginger hair

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
I feel like it's gotta be red hair or blue eyes, no way it's specifically white skin even if the traits she's looking for only otherwise come with white skin.

Tiny Deer
Jan 16, 2012

Do you think she'll tell him she needs a sperm donor to father her child like that other story with the lawyer and his ugly, inferior genes?

"r/relationships I [27m] just found out my fiancee [26f] is into eugenics, should we open up the relationship to whites?"

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Gluten Freeman posted:

hmmm what could "distinctive recessive traits" possibly mean....

This post is gone so she must have come to a conclusion on her own.

Criminal Minded
Jan 4, 2005

Spring break forever

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like it's gotta be red hair or blue eyes, no way it's specifically white skin even if the traits she's looking for only otherwise come with white skin.

It's not impossible.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Tiny Deer posted:

Do you think she'll tell him she needs a sperm donor to father her child like that other story with the lawyer and his ugly, inferior genes?

was this one of the shortass stories or what cause lol

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

was this one of the shortass stories or what cause lol

It was rather short.

A lawyers model girlfriend cheated on him then got pregnant and decided on that lame cover story.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Much like the duck without a huge spiral dick, the short and modestly endowed man must go extinct in the interests of eugenics, which for some mysterious reason, despite being 100% logical and in no way subject to abuse if done "properly", always has an intended result of what white nerds think is hottest like big ol nympho titties

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 4 months. They insist I call them by their first name.

quote:

I've been with my current GF for a few months now. I met her parents about a week after we got together. When we met for the first time I introduced myself and told them it was a pleasure to meet them using "Mr. and Mrs. X." They told me to call them by their first names which is something I'm NOT comfortable doing.

This has continued for the duration of our relationship. Every time I say their last name they will correct me with their first name. I usually just ignore the statement and continue making my point. They don't say anything afterward but they will correct me the next time I need to get their attention.

This has gotten to the point where my GF has told me that its a bit unsettling and that I should be comfortable by now. She doesn't call my parents by their first name b/c they aren't okay with that.

I've stood my ground up to this point and told her and her parents this isn't something I'm okay with but they insist. I don't know what to say or do at this point? This is literally the only issue with our relationship. I feel like I'm messing things up but I don't want to shirk my values for a new relationship at 18.

18 and all but what a bizarre loving hill to die on

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

Pick posted:

Much like the duck without a huge spiral dick, the short and modestly endowed man must go extinct in the interests of eugenics, which for some mysterious reason, despite being 100% logical and in no way subject to abuse if done "properly", always has an intended result of what white nerds think is hottest like big ol nympho titties

I can't parse this dang ol sentence

BB2K
Oct 9, 2012

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 4 months. They insist I call them by their first name.


18 and all but what a bizarre loving hill to die on

update is better(?)

quote:

So I actually resolved my issue the next day but I didn't feel like updating because I didn't get too much advice and I didn't really use any from here. Long story short is that I broke up with her the next day.

We spoke a little while after school and I told her the full extent of my issues. She said she felt bad that I was struggling so much with it but she understood why I was. I told her that I wasn't going to be able to stay with her due to this.

She didn't react to this well at all. I did my best to comfort her when she told me the story of why she moved to our school for only her senior year. It turns out that her family were social pariahs in their last community due to her parents giving their daughter and her friends alcohol without consulting the other parents. She told me she was tired of her parents ruining everything and she left.

All in all I feel relieved to be through with the whole situation. I don't have to call anyone by their first name that I don't want to. I'm super against underage drinking so that would've definitely killed our relationship when it came up anyways.

I appreciate your time and efforts r/relationships

tl;dr: I broke up with her and that turned out to be the best decision.

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

I've got a long one about a sperm donor! It's from a men's divorce forum that I go to to remind myself of the good life I have because holy poo poo all of these people are just in such poo poo situations and most of them deserve it.

Here's the worst I heard recently, though, with multiple updates. This guy, it eventually comes out, is 58. All of these are from the OP, people ask him legit legal questions but usually his answers boil down to "I don't know I was running from several DUI's.

quote:

My parental rights were terminated and my sons were adopted by my ex's new husband. They won't let me see my kids or go to ball games. I feel like the adoption was illegal and want to fight to get my kids back. Does anyone know if this can be done? I'm in Alabama.

quote:

I don't think paternity was ever questioned. I moved out in 2004. We were still married the first time I took her to court for < parenting time >. My ex would let me see the kids but I had to go to her house to do it. When we went to court she represented herself and convinced the judge that I needed supervised < parenting time >. My lawyer told me that there was no way that the judge would give me supervised < parenting time >. We were both shocked. In the divorce I agreed to one year of supervised and then we would go back to court. I took my ex back to court 5 times trying to get regular < parenting time > and she won every time. In 2011 I lost < parenting time > because I had a beer when the kids were at my house. Right after that I had to go take care of my mother because she had cancer. She wouldn't let me talk to my kids while I was gone but I always paid my child support. When I got back her new husband had adopted my kids. My oldest son is now an adult and away at college. The little one is just 13 and they won't let me see him or talk to him. I tried to go to his school stuff and was asked to leave. They changed his name and everything. I know I made some mistakes but he is my kid. I have to sneak around just to look at him. I want to fight this. I paid child support so how could this happen?

quote:

I was never served. Apparently they ran it in the paper. I'm not sure when the adoption was finalized because all of that information is sealed. I'm guessing based on what they ran in the paper it was a year ago. I didn't go to court.

People tell him to lawyer up

quote:

I'm trying to hire the right one. Some say it's been too long and it is not in the best interest of the child. Some say we can try but no promises. A few have said no problem- write a check. We would have to find a way to prove fraud. One lawyer said that if I don't win I will have to pay their lawyer fees. In the meantime they won't let me see my son. Even in public places.


quote:

No. she was in her 30s. The other thing I don't understand is that my older son was adopted too but he still has my last name. They only changed the little ones name. Why would you want full
Brothers to have different last names?

quote:

I have tried to talk to my older son. He talks to my dad but refuses any contact with me. Keep in mind that my ex and her husband pay for everything for him. They pay all his college expenses, cell phone they bought him a BMW. They say that he can make his own decisions about me but he is probably afraid of losing his cash cow.
I stopped paying child support a year ago.
All documents in my case from the time I left are sealed.
Prior to my leaving I had supervised < parenting time > in my home two Saturdays a month from 8-6. I lost that because I had a beer with my pizza while I had the kids.
When I left I changed my phone number and didn't want her to know where I was. I did give my dad permission to make decisions about my kids in my place. When he called her and told her that she laughed. She told him that he could see my kids in her home or she would meet him somewhere. She would not let my dad take the kids anywhere even though he was acting for me.
I was gone for about 5 years.
My ex called my dad and asked him to have me call her a couple of years ago. She also sent an email for him to forward to me. She told my dad that' her husband wanted to adopt my kids and that the kids wanted that too. She wanted me to sign something giving up my rights.

People call him out about withholding the truth because losing your visitation after one beer is not how things go, and here comes the crazy.

quote:

I know I've made a lot of mistakes. Back in 2004 I got a DUI about an hour from my house. My older son was in the car. I knew my ex (we were still married then, but not living together) was going to make a huge deal of it so I told the trooper that my wife was dead hoping he would let me go. After that my ex would not let me take my kids anywhere. Two weeks later I got another DUI four hours away and she found out about it. Since we were still married and had not filed anything my lawyer said she could not do anything if I just walked out the door with the kids. I took the baby and forgot him at Wal Mart. As I said, I made some mistakes. At that point my ex went crazy. she would not let me near the kids. I took her to court and the judge sided with her. That is when the supervised < parenting time > started. My dad would drive 10 hrs every six weeks so I could see my kids. Even though he came all that way the baby didn't have to spend the night. She would make us bring the baby home at night and half the time my older son would want to stay too. We would have to go back and get them the next morning. I took her back to court five times to get unsupervised and ever time the judge sided with her. The last time we went to court she had found out about a dui I got in another state. I offered to wear an alcohol monitor for 6 months to prove I could be trusted. I still got supervised as well as being court ordered to wear the monitor. I violated the court order and she stopped bringing the kids over. At the end of the 6months we had a stud hearing. The company that was monitoring me said I drank no less than 11 times. While we were waiting for the judge's decision, I got another dui. I knew if I went to my court date I would get jail time so I left. I didn't sign my rights over to my dad. I wanted to, but Alabama will not let you do that. I gave him permission to make decisions for me. The ex just thought that was funny. I didn't abandon my kids. I knew they were safe and being well taken care of and I paid the support. A couple of months ago I got things straightened out. Now I just want to see my son. Maybe take him to church or something. I want to watch him play ball. Maybe help the coaches. We had a good time the last time I saw him. How can they just take somebody's kids if support is being paid?

quote:

Thank you, Gamingdad. The kids don't act like I am anything. The younger one walked right past me and didn't even acknowledge me. Acted like I didn't exist. I know he had been with his step dad since he was three but dang. I know the older one remembers me. He won't give me the time of day. I want a sober history. I'm sure they know about the DUI in Florida last year- and in Tennessee the year before that- but I have not been in trouble for a year. I feel like I have to force my way in because nobody is going to willingly open a door. The new dad gets to do everything that I want to do. I even had my dad try to bribe my older son to talk to me. It didn't work. There has to be a way to get rid of that adoption. Then HE wouldn't be their dad anymore.

People tell him to start acting like a good dad, or just a good person in general.

quote:

Ok, but how? Without any rights how do I start? The kids mother is not going to cut me any slack. This is what she always wanted. My son's school won't give me any info because they say I am not the dad. The police won't help me because my name is not on a birth certificate. My oldest son won't even engage in conversation with me. My little son acts like he does not know who I am and calls another man dad. All the lawyers I've talked to say I have to prove fraud to overturn the adoption but only a few think we have a chance. People in prison get to see their kids. My dad can't get grandparent < parenting time > so I can see them. That man thinks my kids belong to him. He told me to stay away from HIS son. I just want to see my kid.

Just in case you thought he was serious about being good for a year, he's still drinking.

quote:

I want to hear their perspectives, but they won't talk to me. Their mother told my dad that my older son has a hard time when I left, but the little one didn't even notice. I don't believe that. Why would one have a hard time and the other one be fine? I think she is just manipulating my kids. I am not employed because I had to have both my hips replaced. I am on disability. I was self employed for years. I take pain pills and I have a drink once in a while. Nothing out of control. I've always been a good person, I just had a disease. My biggest issue was my ex. She made my life misery. I just want the chance to prove that I can be a great dad.

quote:

Step dad has been in the picture for about 10 years that I know about. It's not about him being a father figure. It's him being the father. I WTFU when I realized that I couldn't even go to a ballgame.

Hope you're still with me, because now you're about to fear for some people's lives in this situation.

quote:

New developments. I've been driving through the ex's neighborhood. They caught me a couple of times. The ex once and my older son once back in September. Well I left a picture of my youngest son on their front porch. I wrote him a nice message on the back and my new phone number. Of course the mother called and complained. I told her off. Then I got mad and sent her a txt telling her exactly what I thought of her. Then after a few more trips through the neighborhood my son called me. They have brainwashed him against me. He told me to stop following him. He said I was freaking him out and that he didn't want me showing up at his games. Said it embarrassed him in front of his friends. I tried to tell him who his mother and her husband really were. Didn't do any good. I recorded the conversation. My lawyer said he can file something using his firm,s address, but they could slap a restraining order on me in court. I'm just so frustrated.

This dude can literally not grasp a single thing about what he's doing wrong.

quote:

How can I be a legal stranger if I am their Dad? They live on a public street and my son's games are open to the public. My ex was married before me and had two sons by the time she was 23 by that husband. Their dad was always allowed to do whatever he pleased. He could even just come by after work and play video games with his kids on his way home. HE could get his kids whenever he wanted- or not get them whenever he wanted and she didn't care. If I complained about it she would stand up for him and say that he was their dad and it was not worth upsetting her boys over. I never got that same consideration. I just want to get to know my kids and their hateful, controlling mother will not let that happen. Their had got to be a way to overturn this adoption.

quote:

Thanks, Trevor. The reality is that I am 58 years old. There won't be any other kids.

quote:

Thanks for the kind words, Havalu7. I keep hoping for a change. The 19 year old called my dad last night to wish him Merry Christmas. I started talking really loud so he would know I was here with him. I hoped that since it was Christmas he would want to say hello. Didn't happen. He just made an excuse to end the call with my dad. The 13 year old didn't even call my dad. I really feel bad about that. It's sad that he does not get to have a relationship with the younger boy at all. He lives 10 hours away from them. When I had been gone about six months, my dad asked my ex if he could pick up the kids and bring them to see me. My ex refused and told him that we could see the kids in her home or they would meet us somewhere but he was not taking the kids. She knew I couldn't come there because of my legal situation. That's why my dad wanted to bring them to see me where I would be safe. It makes me really sad that my dad can't see his only grandchildren

Turns out his dad is a piece of poo poo, too, but he must be old as gently caress. Oh and he was also in prison for 30 days and is now a changed man?

quote:

Trevor, my dad says that the way my ex and the new husband parent is part of the problem with the boys. It's all about them all the time. My dad tried to tell her that and she said that my dad was my enabler. My dad says that she coddles the boys to an extreme. She sets high academic standards for them and then treats them like babies. My oldest son is in college 4 hours from home. My son told my dad that she has it set up where she can see his grades and if he goes to class. His spending money is based on his attendance. If he does not go to class- he is broke. The kid is an adult and his mommy controls him. My dad said that he was miserable his first semester at college because his mommy was still attached to him by the umbilical cord and had it stretched all the way to his dorm room. Instead of making him man up, the ex and new husband would drive all the way down there to take him to lunch because he was homesick. If he didn't come home for the weekend - one or all of them would go down there so he wouldn't be sad. My dad and I talked about this situation late into last night. I want to overturn the adoption because I am their real dad and I think me and my dad would be really helpful and good for them. The younger son is a really, really good athlete- I could help him be even better. I just really want to be the dad again. I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have changed my number-but I did pay child support when I could. I just didn't want to go to jail. They got me, I did my 30 days and now I am ready to be a dad.


quote:

I'm sorry and you all are right. Nothing I have tried to do on my own has worked in the last 20 years. I read back through the posts here and took the suggestion of sending the message that I would like to mend fences one day IF the boys ever want that. I'm really going to try.

One last turn on our trip through reallybaddadtown

quote:

Yes, thank you breaker. I got a response from the ex a few minutes ago. It was not what I wanted to hear but it was better than I anticipated. She, and according to her, the boys are majorly pissed about the notes I left. Looking back that was very poor judgment on my part. One of those will bite me in the < hindquarters > for a very long time and I am sorry I did that to them. I did send a message back apologizing for the one I left on her boy's grave. I will admit I was drinking and had kind of forgotten about it.

When it turns out he might actually have to focus on himself to get better, well, man, I just don't know!

quote:

Man, I don't know. That is the scariest part. She said the younger boy doesn't really remember me at all, but that I broke the older ones heart. She said that she does not want me to die before I mend that bridge not because she gives a crap about me, but she thinks it will haunt the 19 year old for the rest of his life. She is suggesting rehab "not for just 21 days but an extended stay followed by intensive out patient for at least 18 months." Scares the < feces > out of me.

Here's the best suggestion so far from that thread:

quote:

Can I offer you a suggestion?

Tell her you're researching different types of rehabs, and SMART recovery looks like a really good option to you. Then research SMART recovery. Tell her you're working on being a better person. Tell her thank you. Tell her husband thank you. Tell her you aren't in a place yet where you can fully appreciate the sacrifices they've made, but you're working on it. Tell her you love your boys, but you understand that you've damaged them, so you're going to work on yourself for now.

Tell her that you are always open to them, in whatever capacity they think is best, and if that means no contact for now, you accept that. Tell her that you hope she won't mind if you ask her how they're doing sometimes, and if she ever thinks it might be a good idea, you hope she'll let you know when it'll be a good time to reach out to them, even if it takes years to get there.

If you pull this off it'll be through sheer force of will, but you'll be the best success story we've ever had. It's up to you what happens next.

He takes the advice, apparently.

quote:

I sent all that and I am researching SMART recovery. No programs in my area but they have online programs.

That was the last update on the 28th of last month, he's probably in jail right now.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

BB2K posted:

update is better(?)

Buzzkill mcmormon

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
social pariahs!

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

WampaLord posted:

Like Jessica Alba, but thicker.

Oh man this takes me back. What was the original context again?

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
(((parenting time)))

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Modus Pwnens posted:

(((parenting time)))

There's a lot of word filters there and that one is probably the only good one, it's so people stop thinking of who gets to keep the children and start thinking about when you get to parent them. Maybe unnecessary but in some situations it might help.

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


what does it filter from?

Grem
Mar 29, 2004

It's how her species communicates

Custody and I think visitation, but I could be wrong on the latter.

e: I think it's just visitation, actually.

Grem fucked around with this message at 11:15 on Jan 9, 2017

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001

Grem posted:

I've got a long one about a sperm donor! It's from a men's divorce forum that I go to to remind myself of the good life I have because holy poo poo all of these people are just in such poo poo situations and most of them deserve it.

Here's the worst I heard recently, though, with multiple updates. This guy, it eventually comes out, is 58. All of these are from the OP, people ask him legit legal questions but usually his answers boil down to "I don't know I was running from several DUI's.




People tell him to lawyer up




People call him out about withholding the truth because losing your visitation after one beer is not how things go, and here comes the crazy.



People tell him to start acting like a good dad, or just a good person in general.


Just in case you thought he was serious about being good for a year, he's still drinking.



Hope you're still with me, because now you're about to fear for some people's lives in this situation.


This dude can literally not grasp a single thing about what he's doing wrong.




Turns out his dad is a piece of poo poo, too, but he must be old as gently caress. Oh and he was also in prison for 30 days and is now a changed man?



One last turn on our trip through reallybaddadtown


When it turns out he might actually have to focus on himself to get better, well, man, I just don't know!


Here's the best suggestion so far from that thread:


He takes the advice, apparently.


That was the last update on the 28th of last month, he's probably in jail right now.
Actually said "oh my god" out loud at the line about leaving one of his harassing notes on her other son's grave. Holy poo poo this guy is terrible it sounds like his ex did a good job keeping their kids safe from him at least, maybe they can grow up normal

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
As soon as I saw "lost visitation because I had a beer with my pizza" I knew this guy was a liar.
I feel like even still he's leaving out some important details

It's like people who cry out tat CPS took their kids for 'no reason at all!!!!' When anyone who has any familiarity with the childcare system knows that's just not true

54 40 or fuck fucked around with this message at 13:21 on Jan 9, 2017

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Dial-a-Dog posted:

Actually said "oh my god" out loud at the line about leaving one of his harassing notes on her other son's grave. Holy poo poo this guy is terrible it sounds like his ex did a good job keeping their kids safe from him at least, maybe they can grow up normal

I like how the disabled alcoholic with two fake hips thinks he can make his son a better athlete if he just spent more time with him. Roll Tide.

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001

54 40 or gently caress posted:

It's like people who cry out tat CPS took their kids for 'no reason at all!!!!' When anyone who has any familiarity with the childcare system knows that's just not true

Reminds me of the classic EN story where that guy living in a disgusting dilapidated trailer got his kid taken away because it was "a little messy". I wish I could remember his username I'd link it

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

BRB, pouring out all the booze in the house to try and avoid the .01% chance I turn into THAT guy. Holy gently caress.

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007



Dial-a-Dog posted:

Reminds me of the classic EN story where that guy living in a disgusting dilapidated trailer got his kid taken away because it was "a little messy". I wish I could remember his username I'd link it
Obligatory mention that SA gave the guy so much poo poo about his terrible choices that he got shamed into shaping up and getting his kids back

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry
gotta love the casual way that guy mentions leaving his baby in a walmart.

Clark Nova
Jul 18, 2004

The best part is when he complains about the mother "coddling" his son, setting "high academic standards" and not making him "man up" so that you know the guy would be a terrible parent even if he weren't an incompetent alcoholic liar.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

I like how he's really confused by the concept that his kids, who were 9 and 3 when he left, had different responses to his absence. Holy poo poo, the elementary-school-aged kid missed you and the toddler rolled with it?! How could THAT have happened? It's like your kids were at totally different developmental stages or something!

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

Breetai posted:

Oh man this takes me back. What was the original context again?

Dude was a virgoon who was hooking up with some awful girl that was just walking all over him and showing him 0 respect but he was getting sex every now and then so he was happy as a pig in poo poo despite goons trying to warn him about all the :redflag: :redflag: :redflag: she was showing.

That was his description of her, which was accompanied by goons taking a picture of Jessica Alba and resizing it shorter and thicker, which was the best part.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
[19/m] I didn't gently caress her [18/f] but she told everyone I did and that I'm an rear end in a top hat. Should I just let it go?


I am a [M] college freshman at a very small ( <2000 students ) college in Pennsylvania. This is what happened between me and a [F] freshman the weekend before winter break. It is bothering me and I can’t get it out of my head. Your advice and comments would be appreciated.

I attended a fraternity party at the house where several of my friends pledged. During the party, I got paired in a beer pong match with a girl, Sue, who I knew from a literature class. I had never spoken to her much but she was funny and bubbly and we joked around a lot during the game (we lost). Sue really isn’t my type. She is tall (about 6’) and overweight and not very attractive. Over the course of the night, I noticed that Sue was in whatever room I was in. She kept approaching me to talk. As the night wore on, Sue’s friends left the party and the crowd thinned out. I don’t know if it was the beer goggles or what, but I ended up making out with Sue and offered to walk her back to campus.

Sue’s dorm is across the quad from mine. Without even talking about it, we ended up going into my dorm room. I texted my roommate our code word – LUCKY - that means don’t come into the room because I brought a girl back.

We were on my bed making out and Sue offered no resistance as I began feeling her up and removing her and my clothes. Soon we were completely naked. I was very conscious of Sue’s large body. I had never been with a fat chick before. All my girlfriends and even one night stands have been thin or skinny, and shorter than me. I am a thin guy and for whatever reason I am not attracted to heavy girls. Anyhow, I was conflicted by being horny (Sue was stroking me and she is a good kisser) and yet also sort of repulsed by her rolls of skin and large but saggy boobs.

I was rubbing Sue’s pussy and she was enjoying it even if she wasn’t very wet. I decided to moisten her with my mouth and moved down to eat her pussy. When I got between her legs, I was taken aback by the smell and sight. Her thighs were large and soft with some cellulite. A roll of fat crested just above her pubic hair. She did not smell fresh at all, but in fairness to her it was very late after a night of drinking and partying and therefore surely lots of peeing. I felt like I couldn’t back away without offending her so I moved in and gave her about 30 seconds of licking, which she responded to with moans and squirms. I had to get my face out of there so I moved my body up the length of hers, so that my dick was at the entrance of her pussy. As I rubbed it against her lips so I could enter her, she whispered to me, “It’s my first time, please go slow.”

My dick was only about half hard, and for some reason when she said she was a virgin it started to deflate completely. I rolled off her and said that having sex with me would be a mistake, that her first time should be with someone she really cares about and who feels the same about her. She replied that she was sick of being a virgin, that I was a really nice guy and she was ready. But it was too late for me. My dick was dead and besides I really did feel like taking her virginity would be a mistake for both of us.

We laid together naked in an awkward silence and then we heard voices outside my door. It was my roommate and a few friends, waiting to get into the room where my roommate had some weed. Sue and I got dressed and when we walked out, three guys were sitting there staring at us both. No words were exchanged but when we got to the end of the hall, they burst out laughing. I was mad at them and felt bad for Sue. I walked her back to her dorm and we had a quick kiss at the door and then I went back to my dorm.

When I got back, my roommate and his buddies gave me a ton of crap about “loving the fat chick”. I didn’t affirm or deny anything. They were being crude, and I was embarrassed, so I really didn’t respond to their teasing. The next day, word spread up and down the hall that I had hosed “fat Sue”. Not wanting to hurt her reputation (or mine I guess), I denied that we had sex. The guys didn’t believe me and teased me a lot. That afternoon when I got back from class, I found a bag of flour at my door with writing on it that said “roll in this, look for wet spot”.

The next day, a female friend who lives in Sue’s dorm asked me if I was going to start dating Sue. I told her no, she is nice but not my type. I hadn’t even spoken to her since walking her to her dorm. My friend then gave me a lot of crap about loving her and then not even calling or texting her. I told her that it was a rumor that I hosed Sue. My friend then told me that Sue told her friends that we did have sex and I took her virginity. Not only did she lie about that, but she also said I told her I really liked her and wanted to date her just so she would let me gently caress her – this is absolutely not true!

If you are thinking at this point, “what’s the big deal,” well, I was starting to feel the same way until the next day when my friend told me that girls were talking about me and what an rear end in a top hat I was!

I felt like I did something kind of chivalrous. 99% of guys would have probably just hosed her and been proud to take her cherry. Yes, I was glad to have an “out” since I wasn’t that into her, but I was also being sincere about her being better off waiting and losing her virginity to a guy who she cares about and who cares about her. I lost mine to my high school girlfriend after dating more than a year. It was awesome for both of us, and I think everyone should be so lucky!

I am going back to school this coming weekend. Classes start Monday. I can’t decide what to do. Part of me says to just hope it fades away. But part of me also says to confront Sue and ask her to set the record straight…we go to such a small school and I am afraid this incident will stick with me for 4 years and girls will not want to date me because of my reputation. Let me know what you think I should do, if anything, about all this.

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

That dude doesn't realize that he doesn't get to gently caress and dump a girl just because he didn't gently caress her.

quote:

I felt like I did something kind of chivalrous.

Yea, what a loving white knight. I didn't catch any mention of a condom in the story either, Romeo.

E: They're from r/relationship_advice, anyone looking for them

WampaLord fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Jan 9, 2017

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Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001
Let that be a lesson young freshman, you take a fat girl to your room and send out the secret sex word, you better bang them because everyone, including the girl, will say you did anyway

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