There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

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Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

The 3 team groups could produce some interesting strategy. There are 6 combinations of results that the first 2 games could produce, 5 of which have something riding on the final match, and of those 5, 3 leave the possibility of a biscotto and/or weakened team from an already qualified side.

So if you're the side that plays the first two games and you don't get at least a win and draw you're likely to be screwed, which hopefully should produce more attacking football than normal group stages where you can stumble through grinding out draws.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:29

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# ? May 16, 2024 09:08

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Infantino plans to abolish (tournament) draws entirely, there will be penalty shootouts even in the group stage matches.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:32

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Blue Star Error posted:

The 3 team groups could produce some interesting strategy. There are 6 combinations of results that the first 2 games could produce, 5 of which have something riding on the final match, and of those 5, 3 leave the possibility of a biscotto and/or weakened team from an already qualified side.

So if you're the side that plays the first two games and you don't get at least a win and draw you're likely to be screwed, which hopefully should produce more attacking football than normal group stages where you can stumble through grinding out draws.

I thought part of the proposal was that there will be no draws in the group stages? Every draw will go straight to penalties.

That just seems like it would encourage ultra-defensive football.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:32

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

ok forget what I said then FIFA are retarded

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:35

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

this is the proposed new distribution per confederations, according to https://twitter.com/martynziegler/status/818726187061092352

Kiwis rejoice.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:36

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Torrannor posted:

Infantino plans to abolish (tournament) draws entirely, there will be penalty shootouts even in the group stage matches.

Cool I look forward to 100 0-0 draws in the group stage as lower-ranked teams take the 50-50 chance of winning on penalties rather than get owned 8-0 by Brazil and Germany

also lmao at giving CONCACAF as many extra spots as Europe

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:46

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Kurtofan posted:

this is the proposed new distribution per confederations, according to https://twitter.com/martynziegler/status/818726187061092352

Kiwis rejoice.

If you used todays FIFA rankings to qualify these are the teams that would make it:

Europe, cut off rank: 25
Germany, Belgium, France, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, Wales, England, Croatia, Poland, Italy, Iceland, Netherlands, Ireland, Turkey, Slovakia

Africa, cut off rank: 53
Senegal, Ivory Coast, Tunisia, Egypt, Algeria, Doctor Congo, Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Ghana

Asia, cut off rank: 87
Iran, South Korea, Japan, Australia, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, UAE, China, Qatar (play off)

South America, cut off rank: 19
Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Uruguay, Peru

North America, cut off rank: 75
Costa Rica, Mexico, USA, Panama, Haiti, Honduras, Curacao (play off)

Oceania, cut off rank: 109
New Zealand

Looking at that, Africa probably were hard done by under the old system but lol those Asian and North American teams and also New Zealand.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:53

B.B. Rodriguez: Aug 8, 2005; Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

LOOOOOOOOOL at CONCACAF getting more spots than CONMEBOL. These guys are insane. That's literally The Hex plus a playoff. I guess they want more 8-0 games in the group stages and the Carribean nations to make fools of themselves.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 15:57

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

gently caress FIFA

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:27

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Kurtofan posted:

this is the proposed new distribution per confederations, according to https://twitter.com/martynziegler/status/818726187061092352

Kiwis rejoice.

6.5 CONCACAF SPOTS HOLY loving LMAO

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:28

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

vyelkin posted:

also lmao at giving CONCACAF as many extra spots as Europe

And they get more spots than South America oh my god

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:29

Simone Poodoin: Jun 26, 2003; Che storia figata, ragazzo!

So any excitement the qualifiers had is completely gone now.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:29

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Simone Poodoin posted:

So any excitement the qualifiers had is completely gone now.

Well we still get to laugh when Scotland fails to qualify.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:31

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Crazy Ted posted:

6.5 CONCACAF SPOTS HOLY loving LMAO

Crazy Ted posted:

6.5 CONCACAF SPOTS HOLY loving LMAO

8.5 Asian spots, too. This is going to garbage.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:32

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

blue footed boobie posted:

8.5 Asian spots, too. This is going to garbage.

I can't wait for that hot group stage game between Bermuda and Tajikistan

# ? Jan 10, 2017 16:36

Living Image: Apr 24, 2010; HORSE'S ASS

Crazy Ted posted:

And they get more spots than South America oh my god

On the other hand, literally 6 of the 10 countries in South America qualify. Only one more expansion and the whole continent can come to every tournament!

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:09

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Blue Star Error posted:

If you used todays FIFA rankings to qualify these are the teams that would make it:

North America, cut off rank: 75
Costa Rica, Mexico, USA, Panama, Haiti, Honduras, Curacao (play off)

were hard done by under the old system but lol those Asian and North American teams and also New Zealand.

gently caress off is curacao even a country goddammit CANMNT get your poo poo together I mean godDAMN

even with the 4 extra spots you wouldn't qualify gently caress off. That's the hex.

Oh wait, you haven't qualified for the Hex in like twenty years.

Carry on

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:17

nutri_void: Apr 18, 2015; I shall devour your soul.; Grimey Drawer

I like how Canada and Scotland still fail to qualify

I don't like how UAE, China, Qatar, and the entire loving Hex qualify

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:20

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

What a present for my 40th birthday, I'll get to watch Burkina Faso take on Curacao at the World Cup in Azerbaijan.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:27

TwoDogs1Cup: May 28, 2008; DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup

Why the gently caress do Asia need 4 extra teams? Same with Africa. Pisstake

Give it all to Europe and South America imo

Everyone else is poo poo

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:35

Azerban: Oct 28, 2003

stab posted:

gently caress off is curacao even a country goddammit CANMNT get your poo poo together I mean godDAMN

even with the 4 extra spots you wouldn't qualify gently caress off. That's the hex.

Oh wait, you haven't qualified for the Hex in like twenty years.

Carry on

we are the best non-hex team, i said almost sincerely

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:35

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

TwoDogs1Cup posted:

Why the gently caress do Asia need 4 extra teams? Same with Africa. Pisstake

Give it all to Europe and South America imo

Everyone else is poo poo

Africa has some good teams that are fun to watch but don't manage to qualify. Same for Europe and South America. Should go without saying but Asia and the Caribbean don't.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:40

Hashtag Banterzone: Dec 8, 2005; Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

What a joke

Just imagine if other tournaments let small teams from backwards regions get thumped by the big teams

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:45

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

they need more teams because asia and africa are somwhat 'untapped' markets for the FIFA mafia

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:47

jeebus bob: Nov 4, 2004; Festina lente

Blue Star Error posted:

If you used todays FIFA rankings to qualify these are the teams that would make it:

Europe, cut off rank: 25
Germany, Belgium, France, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, Wales, England, Croatia, Poland, Italy, Iceland, Netherlands, Ireland, Turkey, Slovakia

Africa, cut off rank: 53
Senegal, Ivory Coast, Tunisia, Egypt, Algeria, Doctor Congo, Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Ghana

Asia, cut off rank: 87
Iran, South Korea, Japan, Australia, Saudi Arabia, Uzbekistan, UAE, China, Qatar (play off)

South America, cut off rank: 19
Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Uruguay, Peru

North America, cut off rank: 75
Costa Rica, Mexico, USA, Panama, Haiti, Honduras, Curacao (play off)

Oceania, cut off rank: 109
New Zealand

Looking at that, Africa probably were hard done by under the old system but lol those Asian and North American teams and also New Zealand.

This is bad and FIFA are bad.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 17:48

Mean Bean Machine: May 9, 2008; Only when I breathe.

Gigi Galli posted:

gently caress FIFA

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:03

Akileese: Feb 6, 2005

Crazy Ted posted:

6.5 CONCACAF SPOTS HOLY loving LMAO

This is the god damned worst loving outcome possible. I would rather they give like, 8 spots to CONMEBOL and put Concacaf at 4.5 if they're going to do that. poo poo, just give Europe 20 spots. literally anything else than giving Asia 8 spots and CONCACAF 6.5 loving SPOTS.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:09

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Also don't forget that two teams get out of each group of three, so a decent number of these poo poo teams will be stinking up the knockout round as well as the group stage.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:14

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

The entire hex qualifies now

God bless

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:35

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

# ? Jan 10, 2017 18:59

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

vyelkin posted:

Also don't forget that two teams get out of each group of three, so a decent number of these poo poo teams will be stinking up the knockout round as well as the group stage.

This is going to take forever and be absolutely unwatchable.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:12

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

blue footed boobie posted:

This is going to take forever and be absolutely unwatchable.

You'll still watch it, just like everyone else.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:13

Shoren: Apr 6, 2011; victoria concordia crescit

Shrapnig posted:

You'll still watch it, just like everyone else.

We'll all start watching and be asleep by halftime.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:28

B.B. Rodriguez: Aug 8, 2005; Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Blue Star Error posted:

North America, cut off rank: 75
Costa Rica, Mexico, USA, Panama, Haiti, Honduras, Curacao (play off)

I was super ready to call bullshit on this, but holy gently caress the rankings in CONCACAF are fucky.

code:

17   Costa Rica
18   Mexico
28   USA
58   Panama
73   Haiti
75   Honduras
-------------------------
75   Curacao
-------------------------
77   Jamaica
78   T&T
79   Guatemala
80   St. Kitts & Nevis
93   Antigua & Barbuda
117  Canada (lol)

Fun fact: Haiti, Curacao, St. Kitts & Nevis, and Antigua & Barbuda have never made the Hex.

bonus: Curacao's recent record:

code:

2016
24 March 2016    Caribbean Cup Q	Barbados 	          1�0	 Cura�ao	
26 March 2016    Caribbean Cup Q	Cura�ao 	          2�1	 Dominican Republic	
1 June 2016      Caribbean Cup Q	Guyana 	                  2�5	 Cura�ao	
4 June 2016      Caribbean Cup Q	Cura�ao 	          7�0	 U.S. Virgin Islands	
1 September 2016 Friendly match	        Achilles '29 Netherlands  0�1	 Cura�ao	
5 October 2016   Caribbean Cup Q	Cura�ao 	          3�0	 Antigua and Barbuda	
11 October 2016  Caribbean Cup Q	Puerto Rico 	          2�4 (a.e.t.)	 Cura�ao	
9 November 2016  Friendly match	        SBV Excelsior Netherlands 1�1    Cura�ao

B.B. Rodriguez fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Jan 10, 2017

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:29

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

Ugh on the UAE and Qatar getting in. I don't know if anyone here ever had the misfortunate of watching what passes for Gulf football, but its a boring 1-0 mess usually.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:43

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Qatar would still have to play Cura�ao in the play offs

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:50

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

stab posted:

gently caress off is curacao even a country goddammit CANMNT get your poo poo together I mean godDAMN

even with the 4 extra spots you wouldn't qualify gently caress off. That's the hex.

Oh wait, you haven't qualified for the Hex in like twenty years.

Carry on

Population: January 2016 estimate - 158,986

vyelkin posted:

Also don't forget that two teams get out of each group of three, so a decent number of these poo poo teams will be stinking up the knockout round as well as the group stage.

Nothing better than loads of games with teams playing 10 men behind the ball and putting in 'spirited defensive performances'.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 19:58

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Strawman posted:

Population: January 2016 estimate - 158,986

Nothing better than loads of games with teams playing 10 men behind the ball and putting in 'spirited defensive performances'.

the winning on penalties in the group stages lol

# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:00

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Kurtofan posted:

Qatar would still have to play Cura�ao in the play offs

My money is on the '�ao, they are ranked 12 places higher lol

Strawman posted:

Population: January 2016 estimate - 158,986

Iceland population: 332,529

# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:01

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# ? May 16, 2024 09:08

Shoren: Apr 6, 2011; victoria concordia crescit

Shageletic posted:

Ugh on the UAE and Qatar getting in. I don't know if anyone here ever had the misfortunate of watching what passes for Gulf football, but its a boring 1-0 mess usually.

This is what we have to look forward to.

# ? Jan 10, 2017 20:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > There is no corruption in FIFA thread [READ THE OP, OP]

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