/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Mak0rz: Aug 2, 2008; 😎🐗🚬

VanSandman posted:

I'm sorry you all think spiders aren't the demons they clearly are.

we keep a chilean rose in the lab. Her name is Gladys and she is my friend

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:45

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 18:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Mak0rz posted:

we keep a chilean rose in the lab. Her name is Gladys and she is my friend

Awww those have good temperaments. :3:

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:46

1st AD: Dec 3, 2004; Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

Pick posted:

James Carville and Mary Matalin.

They're both establishment shills though, it's not they're really all that different.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:46

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

I'm gonna play devil's advocate but if dude doesn't want a big rear end spider in his house he has a phobia for, he can tell it and the spider lover to gtfo

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:46

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Improbable Lobster posted:

Nope

Typing "hissing tarantula" gets me 75,600 results to the contrary.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:49

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Demon Of The Fall posted:

I'm gonna play devil's advocate but if dude doesn't want a big rear end spider in his house he has a phobia for, he can tell it and the spider lover to gtfo

right but why would he move in with the girl in the first place then if it was such a dealbreaker? She said she had the thing since before she was dating him.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Yawgmoth posted:

Typing "hissing tarantula" gets me 75,600 results to the contrary.

Apparently Monocentropus lambertoni will, but this is more like a weak air leak. Still think you're thinking of mada hisso roaches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmCjmqAwUtU

Pick fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Jan 16, 2017

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:51

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Moridin920 posted:

right but why would he move in with the girl in the first place then if it was such a dealbreaker? She said she had the thing since before she was dating him.

I think the idea is that he was fine with them as long as they were downstairs where he didn't have to see them, but honestly, as an arachnophobe, wouldn't that make them more frightening? at least when it's in a room you go in every single day you'll know right away if it ever escapes.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:51

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Moridin920 posted:

right but why would he move in with the girl in the first place then if it was such a dealbreaker? She said she had the thing since before she was dating him.

He prolly assumed she would just cave on it immediately because to him it's just an icky bug.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:52

Mak0rz: Aug 2, 2008; 😎🐗🚬

Yawgmoth posted:

Typing "hissing tarantula" gets me 75,600 results to the contrary.

"Hissing" is a misnomer. What they actually do is stridulate

I think cockroaches are the only arthropods that "truly" hiss (that is, blow air out of a disrupted airway to make the sound)

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:52

Emong: May 31, 2011; perpair to be annihilated

Pick posted:

Apparently Monocentropus lambertoni will, but this is more like a weak air leak. Still think you're thinking of mada hisso roaches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmCjmqAwUtU

I think there's one or two Australian species that can hiss, too.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:52

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

right but why would he move in with the girl in the first place then if it was such a dealbreaker? she said she had the thing longer than she was dating him

this is also true, I dunno. maybe he could handle them being in the basement but has a problem in the kitchen?

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:54

Mak0rz: Aug 2, 2008; 😎🐗🚬

Pick posted:

Apparently Monocentropus lambertoni will, but this is more like a weak air leak. Still think you're thinking of mada hisso roaches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmCjmqAwUtU

pick god drat it you italicize that binomial name this instant!

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:54

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Yawgmoth posted:

Typing "hissing tarantula" gets me 75,600 results to the contrary.

'pissing tarantula' gets 199,000

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:55

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I mean I could see how it being in the kitchen would be a little much and he'd wanna say something about it but if she goes "it'll literally die anywhere else in the house right now" and his response is "I don't care" and she then has to explain basic ethical poo poo to him, he's a doucher.

Like at least try to find a compromise somehow surely other people in the world have figured out how to keep their Tarantula warm in colder environments. It seems like the real issue is the way he responded/communicated with her.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:56

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Improbable Lobster posted:

'pissing tarantula' gets 199,000

What sort of weird fetish have you stumbled upon.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:56

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Improbable Lobster posted:

'pissing tarantula' gets 199,000

i bet 150,000 of those results are anime porn

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Mak0rz posted:

pick god drat it you italicize that binomial name this instant!

whoops, good catch. I grabbed it in the original, go back and get it in your quote and we'll be good

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Mirthless posted:

i bet 150,000 of those results are anime porn

probably Beast Wars porn

# ? Jan 16, 2017 21:59

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Emong posted:

I think there's one or two Australian species that can hiss, too.

The Queensland whistling tarantula is what I was thinking of.

Oddly, if it did actually bark I'd be a lot cooler with it than it making hissing noises.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:00

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Yawgmoth posted:

The Queensland whistling tarantula is what I was thinking of.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :3:

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:01

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

Now those are some quality spiders :3:

a good arachnid.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:03

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Pick posted:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Now imagine it barking at you. A big dog bark, not like a puppy bark.

Wait no, puppy bark is also acceptable.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Yawgmoth posted:

Now imagine it barking at you. A big dog bark, not like a puppy bark.

Wait no, puppy bark is also acceptable.

hahahahaha rad

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:04

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

The male Gladicosa gulosa wolf spider makes a purring noise when courting females but that's not a tarantula.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

lurkers: why the gently caress does this thread in particular seem to be filled with people with an exceptional depth of knowledge about spiders

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:11

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Yawgmoth posted:

The Queensland whistling tarantula is what I was thinking of.

quote:

The species name crassipes is Latin for "fat leg" referring to the relatively fat front legs.

hahaha fat legs

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:12

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

The day a spider purrs at me will be the first day I run away from a spider.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:13

WAY TO GO WAMPA!!: Oct 27, 2007

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

quote:

When I first met my boyfriend I was still struggle with some personal issues related to sex. I have a problem with it. A lot of the aspect regarding sex make me uncomfortable and at the time I was unable to masturbate. I still have problems with it but have within the last few months started to try and get comfortable with it again to help ease some issues I was having.

He knew going in I had some problems with sex. I was two years out of a very destructive and abusive relationship with a man who made sex painful and mean when we met. It was something we both discussed at length and worked on together as I went through and continue to go through therapy.

I hadn't masturbated in two years when I met him so I told him I didn't and it was true. I told him how it made me uncomfortable now.

He asked a few times over the last three years if I had been into it again and I answered truthfully.

We have recently been having some issues with sex over the last three months because of something he said to me while very drunk.

It hurt my feelings, a lot. It is still something I am trying to get over. It is something we talked about it but it was said in front of our mutual friends and I just haven't felt like even attempting sex with him lately.

He said he understood and wanted to work through it together. He apologized, blaming the alcohol. I thought we were actively working through it.

A few days ago, we were discussing the issue and talking about forgiveness and whether it would all work when he started smiling. Like really smiling and he said he had recorded me over two occasions masturbating. He said they weren't to get revenge but to show me that I was just punishing him and was still taking care of myself physically. He was hurt. Said it was unfair to him and that I lied about not liking masturbating.

The videos were taken without my knowledge, when he was suppose to be out of the house. They were private.

It did include me watching porn.

He was upset as I explained that those were my private moments. He said that I lied to him and that I should be ashamed. He said what I did was far worse than what he said in front of our friends.
I am at a lose here. I know for a fact he masturbates. But I don't connect it to our sex. That is his business. He does it in private and what and how is his business as long as it doesn't involve anything related to cheating (emotionally or otherwise).

He told me that he might be willing to forgive me but I am just not seeing the issue here. I am not sure how to aoloogize for doing something I am not sure is wrong. It isn't wrong to.masturbate. It isn't any of his business if I do or not.

My response is that me masturbating alone and in private have nothing to do with the horrible things you said about me to my friends and why we are currently having issues but he thinks me lying about masturbating and hiding it are our issues because it takes away from me fixing us.

I am also worried about the recording. I don't think he would do anything with it. He said he wasn't recording me but was recording the house because he was testing out some security software his cousin gave him ( we have talked about security for the house)

Am I am wrong here? Am I missing why he would be hurt? Is he gaslighting me?

Tl;dr: my.boyfriended recorded me masturbating and is upset about it but I think he is using it as an excuse to gaslight me.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:16

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

MF_James posted:

The day a spider purrs at me will be the first day I run away from a spider.

That means it likes you. Having spider-friends means never having any other annoying bug in the house!

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Someone buy the murder icon already!!!!!!

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:17

Good point keep talkin: Sep 14, 2011

Yawgmoth posted:

Is there not some sort of hissing tarantula that exists or am I thinking of some other disgusting hellcreature

Some hiss by rubbing their legs together as a defensive display.

E: Hella beaten

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:18

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

Firstly I want to know what he said that was so bad.

And secondly, hoo boy! This is a hot one.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:18

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Pick posted:

Someone buy the murder icon already!!!!!!

Yeah

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:20

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

A sane boyfriend would be happy for her that she feels comfortable enough to masturbate again, if anything.

I hate it when the crux of the story hinges on some unspoken revelation or fetish or sentence or whatever, and the OP doesn't say what the hell it is. I know sometimes they have to leave it out to stay anonymous, but still. Drives me nuts with curiosity.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:21

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Spiders.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:22

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

jfc

"let me secretly videotape my girlfriend. why no, I see no issue with this at all???"

maybe i'm really sensitive about my privacy or whatever but that would be an immediate break up right then and there

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:22

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Spiders?

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:22

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Chomp8645 posted:

Spiders?

We are done with spiders. We're onto secretly filming your SO having a crafty five-knuckle shuffle now.

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:24

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 18:15

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Spiders!!!

# ? Jan 16, 2017 22:24

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