ArbitraryC posted:

Brain tumor!

Drunk Nerds posted:

Woman living in their house!
https://www.google.com/search?sourc...57j0l5.5524j0j7

Improbable Lobster posted:

I dunno, that sounds more helpful than spooky

timefly posted:

Similar thing happened to my brother, a nurse who was going to take his blood for something spilled hot tea on him and he had to get surgeries as a toddler. Is it sensitive skin or what?

quote:

922
Last night my (26m) GF (30f) and her friends (20s/30s) staged an incredibly cruel, scary and embarrassing trick on me (basically I thought I was getting beat by a street gang). Is there any coming back from this?Relationships
submitted 8 months ago * by prankedbyGF

I've been with "Penny" for about a year. For the most part she is really cool and we have a quite a bit of fun together. I don't know if she is my "one" but thats kind of what year long relationships are for and I figure as long as we get along...I can go with it. I don't have a whole lot of experience with girls, she is the 5th girl I've ever kissed and the first I've ever had sex with so I'm kind of like if things don't work with her I know it will be a while before I get another girlfriend.

Penny is a little older than me and a lot more social, meaning she has way more friends than I do which is cool. I'm kind of introverted and I am super happy to stay at home and play video games or read while she goes out and has fun. She is friends with EVERY "type" of person there is so it's not weird to see her run up and hug a biker that her dad was friends with just like its not weird to see her run up and hug her female college professor from 10 years ago.
Last night I felt a bit like going out and she was more than up for it of course. We went to a bar in the downtown area and as usual it seemed she knew 3/4 of the people in there and she was having a ball. I was quiet but I was enjoying myself. We'd been there about two hours and I went outside to burn one. Next thing I know three HUGE gangster like guys kind of encircled me and said "you think it's smart to gently caress with the Van Burens?" (I know now this is part of the joke now but had no idea at the time). I said "I'm sorry, this is my first time here." One guy pushed me into the another who kind of grabbed both my arms and restrained me so I couldn't move basically. The other got in my face and said something like "we gave you enough time and you decided to poo poo on my face Brad." I was loving so scared and didn't really say anything. He said more and more and was literally so close I could feel his spittle landing on my face. I was still in eye shot of the bouncer and said something like "hey man please help me" and the bouncer said "I'm not paid enough to get involved with Van Burens" and kind of snickered. I tried to explain I had no idea what they were talking about and that I never go out and I don't do any drugs. Then they started accusing me of being racist because I assumed they were on drugs then a small crowd started to gather and I was terrified because no one seemed to be stepping in. I literally felt like I was going to piss my pants but thank god I didn't.

All of the sudden Penny popped out from behind the door laughing her rear end off. The guy let me go and then the bouncer started laughing and the small crowd kind of gasped like "WTF is going on." Then Penny was like "we got you so GOOOD!!! you looked like you were going to crap yourself." She then introduced me to her friends that she knew from wherever the hell it was and they still acted like I was some sort of idiot for being scared of seeming like I was going to get killed over something I had no idea what it was.

I tried my best to hang out and make light of the situation but I was REALLY ready to go home. On the way home I asked her why she did that and she said that she didn't even think it would go anywhere because the "Van Buren" thing is such an obvious joke from Seinfeld that I would see it was a joke right away but her friends got carried away. I told her that Seinfeld was way before my time and then she started insulting me and laughing because apparently its still on or something.

When we got to her apartment her neighbors were having a party so of course she rushed in and just started being super social again. I was exhausted and ready for me time so I told her I was going home to which she said "call me tomorrow!" as the door was closing. The scariest event I've ever been through and her leaving response was "call me tomorrow!" while she went off to party.
She's called me a few times but I just don't feel like talking. She just texted that since I apparently don't have any plans for her she's going out but "I'm more than welcome to meet her downtown." No apology, no are you ok, nothing.
Like I said, I really like her but I'm not convinced shes the "one" but I want to see if she is. But after this...is there any coming back from this? I'm scared of being totally single again and scared of how long it will be before I have sex and feel close to someone again.

tl;dr: girlfriend pulled a very scary and humiliating trick on me last night. I don't know if there is recovery from what she did. She doesn't seem sorry at all.

Pick posted:

Barudak posted:

I hope this man immediately ghosted her so hard she and her friends to this day question if he ever really existed. Like sure, it'd be super cool to pull some mega-awesome you're dumped prank to get some sort of karmic satisfaction but that would involve spending a single moment more with this woman and her extremely loving stupid friends.

Barudak posted:

I hope this man immediately ghosted her so hard she and her friends to this day question if he ever really existed. Like sure, it'd be super cool to pull some mega-awesome you're dumped prank to get some sort of karmic satisfaction but that would involve spending a single moment more with this woman and her extremely loving stupid friends.

quote:

Edit: I just talked to her for the first time since Friday night. She lead the conversation off with "I had such an amazing time last night, I was so bummed you didn't come out" which kind of made me feel good that she missed me. I then got my courage up and said something like "what you did on Friday really made me afraid and I don't think it was funny at all." She replied that I should grow up and learn to take a joke. In my head I just kept repeating over and over and over "break up with her, break up with her, break up with her" but nothing came out. Shen then coolly asked "so are we over that?" and I think I said "I guess. I don't know" (which is a massive mixed message I know) and she said "Awesome, so-and-so is having a pool party today, do you want to come?" and then I said I would go for a while. So now I feel even worse because I didn't even stick up for myself and she'll be over here in an hour to pick me up and hang out with even more of her friends. I know what I need to do but just don't even know how and I can't do it today in front of her friends for obvious reasons.

Edit 2: I just broke up with her when she came to pick me up. I feel like poo poo but it's the right thing to do. I feel lonely and even lonlier at the anticipation of how lonely I'm going to be in an a few days and weeks.nshe didn't even really care and it sucks even more because she's going to a party and will provably joom up and I will be alone for a long time.

Gerblyn posted:

There are some updates:


TL;DR He dumped her, and feels like poo poo about it

Gerblyn posted:

Yeah, the woman sounds like a psychopath. There's a shocking lack of empathy there.

Andrast posted:

Seriously. I can somewhat understand a person doing a really dumb prank without understanding how lovely it is. But when the other person is clearly upset by the whole thing, how do you just shrug it off?

Danaru posted:

Some day he'll look back and realize how much of a bullet he dodged

Zzulu posted:

is it possible the bf is just a dork who massively overreacted when 3 friends of his gf messed with him a bit

just asking the hard questions here

i mean, this IS a guy who asks reddit for relationship advice

Zzulu posted:

is it possible the bf is just a dork who massively overreacted when 3 friends of his gf messed with him a bit

Zzulu posted:

is it possible the bf is just a dork who massively overreacted when 3 friends of his gf messed with him a bit

just asking the hard questions here

i mean, this IS a guy who asks reddit for relationship advice

La Brea Carpet posted:

What caused this sudden change in behavior? Drugs? Attempted burglary? A stalker?

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Yeah, dude might feel like poo poo right now because breakups suck hard, but he'll be laughing at a joke with friends or hanging out with his new girlfriend 6 months from now and being all like "Man, I'm so glad I dumped my psycho ex because my life owns now!"

quote:

How do I [23 F] tell my boyfriend [24 M] of over 5 years, don't want him to be polyamorous anymore with his girlfriend [21] of one year.

Hey r/relationships

I wouldn't be asking this if it wasn't all that I've been thinking about and losing sleep over for the last few weeks.

My boyfriend and I were together throughout college, and we had a super wonderful time! We both felt very secure in our relationship and he helped me to experiment with girls as I found that I was bisexual. We had been fortunate enough to enjoy several brief threesome affairs with girls we met along the way.

A year ago he and I decide to both start dating the same girl [21F]. For a few months it was nice, frequent threesomes and lots of experimenting.

After some time, she started to split the relationship into two twosomes as soon as we all moved in together. When we had asked her out together, I had a very large inkling that I would not be completely 100% comfortable with two twosomes, as I suspected that I would grow jealous.

Well it takes her seven months to tell me that she wants to break up with me. During this time I've caught them having sex a handful of times and would find myself uncontrollably jealous that he chose her to sleep with. I felt like she was getting sex that I would have rather enjoyed. I keep catching myself feeling jealous or selfish, and I start feeling super guilty and regretful for wanting to limit their relationship and stand in the way of her happiness.

I can tell that she likes him, although it is her first relationship.

Now, he's been gone for the last five weeks and it has given me a lot of time to think. I'm not comfortable with him having another girlfriend, especially a committed one who gets to show him off to her family when they visit. She also tends to monopolize him a little when the three of us are in public. I prefer to give my boyfriend space and don't always like to partake in PDA, which I know he prefers.

Man, just putting these words down helps me feel a bit better.

I'm discovering what about my relationship with my boyfriend holds the most importance to me, and as it turns out there are a lot of things/boyfriend perks, that I don't want to share with another person. In fact, as I have been realizing this, my attraction towards women isn't as burning of a desire as it was before we tried this arrangement.

We all have talked a little bit (like when she and I broke up for realsies) and she claims to not get jealous the way that I do. But for some reason, even after hearing that (and then also hearing how she just is enjoying her relationship with my boyfriend while it lasts) it doesn't prevent me from getting jealous when she talks about wanting to look cute for him. This is the first time that I really have felt possessive on my relationship with my boyfriend.

I still feel guilty about wanting to be so selfish. I really do like this girl as a person: she's kind-hearted, beautiful and funny, stubborn but determined. I feel like we get along as people, roommates even (despite her messiness), but I just don't like her as my boyfriend's girlfriend.

I've spent the last five years making sure that his values and mine were alligned and I feel like now that we've graduated college its really the time to focus on each other. Neither of us is in a rush to get married, but I'm just tired of living with other people. I want to be able to curl up against my boyfriend with our cats and a mug and not have to feel like I'm competing for the spot against someone else.

I just want to mention that my boyfriend is really sweet, and while I think he will understand I want to make certain that I have really thought this through. Telling someone to end a relationship is a big deal.

tl;dr: How do I best explain to my boyfriend that I am not as much into a polyamorous relationship as I thought a year ago?

quote:

Me [26 M] with my wife [22 F]. i feel hurt all the time after an open encounter with another man.

So a good few months ago me and my wife came to a point where she wanted to try an open relationship, we both lost our virginity to each other and both didn't date much so it seemed like honestly a very reasonable deal, we both never got to experience life sexually with others and i'd be lying if i said i never had the thought of sleeping with someone else.

Once we talked it out i felt like i was ok with doing this but after a week or so i started having doubts, the idea of it actually happening was starting to wear at me mentally as my mind would race with thoughts of her having sex with someone else, so at one point i said i didn't want it after all. She said she wouldn't if i wasn't comfortable but i saw the disappointment she had, it was something she wanted to try, a part of life she wanted to enjoy, i mean we only live once you know?

So eventually i talked myself into letting her, she loved me, i know she does, she would still be with me after, and she is...but after the deed was done..i just...broke. for months now these thoughts and feelings of regret and jealousy tear at me little by little and sometimes i cave into depression, but i try to hide it as much as i can, sometimes i get heated and bring up these feelings to her but all it ever does is make her cry and make me feel even worse, sure we talk it out to the point we feel better but sure enough a week or two goes by and i'm back to square one.

I love her so much, and i even understand that what she wanted to experience was completely reasonable , but my heart and feelings just wont let me let go, and i don't wanna hurt anymore. Honestly i've thought about ending it, but that would only hurt us both more, and it would be silly for me to end a marriage of 5 years die to something that I let happen. sometimes i feel like i'm just toxic and don't deserve her. I wanna try counseling but i'm far too poor to afford anything like that and i'm honestly scared to bring it up to her due to her seeing that I still suffer from something I should of been over a long time ago.

I myself even thought of finding someone to hook up with to see if being open myself would help me but i'm far too shy and anti-social to do it, she brought up even trying a threesome with another woman and me but nothing ever came from that. I just feel stuck at this point and i'm tired of laying awake or sulking at work over this, if there's any help or advice you guys could offer i would appreciate it.

TL;DR - Wife wanted an open marriage, i gave the thumbs up, she slept with someone else but i feel devastated and couldn't actually handle it, now i suffer from feelings of regret and jealousy every day.

WampaLord posted:

That dude's led a loving sheltered life if "being angrily talked at by 3 big dudes" is the scariest poo poo to ever happen to him.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Imagine thinking everything is all good, and then your partner silently walks up to you and hands you a printout of their Reddit post asking how to talk to you about your dank loving crotch stank

all the ladies say I posted:

Penny was getting gang-banged by the Van Burens.

quote:

I (f25) had a wild night just before my fiancé (M26) and I started dating and now I feel like I should tell him about it.

Last month my boyfriend of 18 months became my fiancé and I am thrilled about it, but I feel a little guilty and feel like I need to tell him about a wild night I had just before we became intimate.

Jim and I met when we were both cast in a community theater play. Lots of chatting and hanging out during rehearsals, backstage and at the bar after the show proved that we were a good match for each other and I really liked Jim right away. However, Jim was very slow to make his move (and I was even unsure if he was ever going to make one), so when I heard from an old gently caress buddy of mine, I took the call.

I hadn’t seen Steve in about six months, but that was okay, we could go months without hearing from each other. Steve was a very handsome man and spectacular in bed, but somewhat self-centered, so I never really wanted a relationship with him, but we were very sexually compatible.

Once, Steve and I had confessed to each other our sexual fantasies. Steve’s was a fairly normal submissive thing that I could easily make come true. Mine was a lot darker in that I wanted to be hosed by three guys at the same time in every hole. Steve was very turned on by the idea, but nothing ever came of it.

Steve called me to say that he had two old college buddies in town and the three of them were looking for some fun and wanted to know if I was up for living out my fantasy. He even texted me a picture of the three of them and they were a good looking bunch. I thought about Jim for a second, but I didn’t know if anything was going to happen there and I really wanted to fulfil this fantasy at least once in my life, so I said yes and drove over to Steve’s house.

I’m not going to go into great detail here, but I will say that I really loved it. It was a bit overwhelming at first, and I kept asking the guys to slow down. They were very good about listening to me and did whatever I asked, but I still was having trouble getting into the swing of things. Then one of the guys had some joints and suggested we get stoned and that relaxed me quite a bit and I just let things happen.

I felt so wonderful and so slutty and when I had each of them inside of me at the same time I had the most intense orgasm of my life. I let each of them pull off their condoms and finish on my face and tits, so I was covered in cum when the evening’s activities were over.

Steve invited me to crash at his place, which I accepted and the next morning we did it all over again, although this time I was completely sober and it was just as fulfilling.

I showered and left to go to our Sunday matinee performance and I felt really guilty when I chatted with Jim, but knew rationally that there was no reason for me to feel that way.

The next weekend, finally giving up on Jim making the first move, I gave him a long, deep kiss goodnight. He reciprocated the kiss and we wound up back at my place loving all night long and we have been together ever since.

I considered asking Jim if he wanted to have some sort of poly-session with me, but when he found out a girlfriend of mine had been in a MMF threesome, he was grossed out by the whole thing. So I never went through with asking him about it or even confessing that I had been gangbanged.

Jim is an awesome guy and we have a great relationship, we are usually very open with each other and our sex life is wonderful. I’ve never told him about my gangbang, but we have talked to each other in general terms about our past sexual history (like how many partners we’ve had, strangest place, etc.) And while I really enjoyed my foursome, if I never have another one again, I won’t have any regrets.

Here’s my question: Now that we are engaged, should I ever tell Jim I had this experience? I feel like if I do, he will lose all respect for me as he did for my girlfriend and I think it would ruin our relationship. If the gangbang hadn’t been the week before we started dating, I would have no qualms about keeping this a secret, but for some reason it feels like I cheated on him and it bothers me somewhat that I haven’t told him.
EDIT: Thanks for all the advice. I've decided I don't need to tell him unless I am asked directly.

tl;dr: Took part in a gang-bang the week before I started dating my fiancé, do I need to tell him?

quote:

Initially we both lived with our parents and could not bring the other person over. Where possible (e.g. if I had a conference in another city) he would come too so we could spend nights together.
A year ago he got his own place. I can only move in 2 years after my sister returns from college as my parents need someone to help. I go over to my boyfriends place several nights a week (+ spend weekend with him), and spend the rest with my parents. He has always wanted a dog and 6 months ago he got one.

Since then, I feel like he doesn't show me enough affection. After work, all he wants to do is cuddle and play and roll on the floor with Jake (dog). I understand Jake needs affection too, but most nights I sit on the other side of the sofa by myself because him and Jake are all over each other. I'm starting to not want to go because if I wanted to watch TV alone, I could do that at my parents. I have asked him "can we cuddle more?" and he says "aww don't be jealous, Jake is just a baby". When we sit down, I cuddle with him but then Jake jumps on him and I get pushed away.

We have sex like once a month because he likes to sleep with Jake (and I don't want Jake in the room when having sex, it's weird for me). He has also (jokingly) told me since we met that he will love the dog more than me. I always thought it was a joke but now I'm not sure. We can get a dog sitter (friends, family) - last week I told him we feel distant and I'd like to spend more one-on-one time with him (e.g. a weekend away) but he doesn't want to leave Jake

I just feel like a spectator, a third-wheel.

Is this normally what happens when someone gets a dog? Do you think after a year he will want human attention again?

tl;dr: BF got his own place and a dog. Dog gets all the affection and I don't get much now. Advice?

Gaunab posted:

I want to believe this was written with one hand.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

throw the siggggggn



My [25F] boyfriend [30M] of 2 years shows me way less affection now he has a dog

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

dogs are better than girlfriends, I get it