SniperWoreConverse posted:

Guys it's fake

sinking belle posted:

i'd watch Sea Hags: The Movie

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Guys it's fake

RatHat posted:

I would say that shooting someone just for knocking on your door is a bit unrealistic, but then there was 2016

limp_cheese posted:

poo poo is weird enough that can't we pretend it's true?

Couldn't you say reality is fake? Are we even real? Is any of this real..........

quote:

The heater in my bathroom is broken and it's blasting a constant stream of powerful heat directly into the bowl of my toilet, so when I wipe my rear end it's like I'm striking deep into the jungle of the 'Nam to wipe out the brown Gook menace.

quote:

Cheating goon from however many pages ago here. My neighbor keeps hitting me up for sex again and I'll probably do it. She isn't particularly attractive but she's willing so I guess I'll probably do it again. Sex with my wife is actually pretty good, but I dunno, getting some variety is actually turning out to be pretty nice. Neighbor is married too but I think she is feeling the same way. Is this an addiction or is it just normal to want some variety?

Also MILF Hunter goon, I have a weird tendency to do that too except I don't go trolling for them on POF or Tinder. I just have a lot of friends, some who are older women and they like to have sex with me so *shrug* go for it I guess? I'm not particularly attractive or in shape, but they all say I'm good in bed so I tend to believe the mass feedback I get from them. Its just weird to me that these older women tend to come on to me and I guess I'm subconsciously receptive to it or somehow have "flags" up that say to hit on me, despite being married with children and a family that they know about or even know personally. I get that older single (or not so single) people have sex drives so I can't blame them, its just weird how I keep finding myself in that position. I'm not totally complaining though either I guess.

RatHat posted:

I would say that shooting someone just for knocking on your door is a bit unrealistic, but then there was 2016

McGavin posted:

McGavin posted:

Putty posted:

well maybe YOUR FAKE, fakeman!

limp_cheese posted:

poo poo is weird enough that can't we pretend it's true?

Couldn't you say reality is fake? Are we even real? Is any of this real..........

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Man, I know of a guy who jumped out of a closet to prank his cousin, and his cousin shot him dead. A lot of people who have guns conjure up scenarios and reasons to use them.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

no its true

i'm the fake one
empty all my life, like death



time to return to the world I belong in

limp_cheese posted:

My non-anonymous confession is when I was in Germany I was watching TV and a commercial came on that was men beating baby seals to death set to Yakkity Sax. I have no idea what the commercial was about and was never able to find it again but I laughed so hard I cried. Every time I see a seal I think of that commercial and chuckle to myself.

McGavin posted:

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Man, I know of a guy who jumped out of a closet to prank his cousin, and his cousin shot him dead. A lot of people who have guns conjure up scenarios and reasons to use them.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Man, I know of a guy who jumped out of a closet to prank his cousin, and his cousin shot him dead. A lot of people who have guns conjure up scenarios and reasons to use them.

Indolent Bastard posted:

Kind of a "If you have a hammer, every problem looks like a nail" sort of a thing.

quote:

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 years spoke to my mom and asked if he could marry me. I found out about it because my boyfriend is not very smart and did this on the phone in the room next to me.

I have since started re-evaluating things and I'm not sure if I want to marry him.

He works 3 minimum wage jobs, and I love him for doing this to provide for us. But he'll sometimes work for 20 hours straight, then sleep the entire next day. I have a hectic work schedule myself and we end up only being awake together 5-6 hours a week, despite living together.

Despite this, we cannot seem to save up money. We both want a house together, since we're currently living with his extended family. Mom, dad, sister, sister's kid, and grandma. It's not ideal at all and we currently live in the basement. Which flooded this past week. We have furnished it as best we can, but we're still living in a slightly mildewy basement.

My boyfriend is also not the most motivated guy alive, but I would chalk that up more to his work schedule. He's exhausted when he gets home and usually is happy just to relax with video games. When I see him, he stops the games and we hang out and either go to dinner, or a movie, or whatever.

I discussed everything with my sisters and they told me to follow my heart. I'm also conflicted because both of my sisters are in relationships and they don't seem to have these doubts. My older sister recently moved in with her boyfriend and they're discussing marriage. My younger sister just started seeing a guy, so it's too early to say anything bad there.

I just worry about the future because, as it stands now, we would be living paycheck to paycheck and I don't think we could afford to have a kid. But one of my dreams is to raise a family.

quote:

A neighbor on my cul-de-sac worked really hard this election cycle to get Donald Trump elected. And lo and behold, our county voted Republican and we helped elect a reality TV star/misogynistic muppet to the White House.

That family then proceeded to constantly spam facebook with posts like "Sorry Obama, you can keep your change" and weird political cartoons with Trump as a skinny guy doing cool stuff while Hillary falls over. This has been going on since the election, and it's now late January. I blocked them on facebook and thought I was safe. Then they proceeded to use Red, White, and Blue lights for Christmas and put a Trump/Santa figure in the yard, with a sack full of presents that are labelled things like "The wall" and "Immigration reform" and "More jobs". I just ignored this, too.

Earlier in the week I was out walking my dog and, in an act of being a good neighbor, said hi to them. I am a white male, however I do really enjoy tanning and even have a tanning bed in my house. I like having a tan all year round and, trust me, I hear jokes about it from my coworkers already and just laugh them off.

Anyway, I say hi to the neighbors and they start talking about the inauguration. Out of nowhere, their son who's about 10 says "Are you a muslim?" I say no and he responds "mom and dad you were wrong, I guess he can still live here!".

There were so many problems there (apparently dark skin instantly makes you a muslim) that I just started walking off. Since then they have left letters in my mailbox apologizing. These just made it worse, since they included phrases like "Even if you were Muslim we would welcome you to the neighborhood" (I've lived here 10 years longer than they have) and "We believe in equal rights as long as you don't act uppity" and best of all, a rambling paragraph about how America is a country founded in the image of Jesus and should strive to share that message with the world. Cool stuff.

Sorry for the backstory, here's the confession. They mentioned in a letter that they are going to the inauguration on Friday. I'm going to stage my own peaceful protest. When they get home, there will be a delicious basket of food sitting on their porch. All Middle Eastern cuisine. I hope they call the bomb squad lol.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

I don't understand the logistics of living with family and still not being able to save money, while working 4+ jobs between them.

Squashing Machine posted:

spend less on candles

loquacius posted:

Technically anon didn't say whether she has a job herself, but honestly even if she doesn't, 3 minimum-wage jobs should still be enough to save up some money if you have literally no living expenses unless someone is spending too fast for whatever reason. We're missing an important detail.

loquacius posted:

Technically anon didn't say whether she has a job herself, but honestly even if she doesn't, 3 minimum-wage jobs should still be enough to save up some money if you have literally no living expenses unless someone is spending too fast for whatever reason. We're missing an important detail.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

She said she "has a pretty hectic work schedule" but didn't specify what that means. I assume that work is at a job, but it could be digging holes in the yard idk.

bradzilla posted:

If you're not paying rent and have 4 sources of income, what the gently caress are you doing? I'm guessing the confessor is frivolously spending on dumb poo poo like fast food and video games, considering her bf is working literally all the time. And yet she's blaming him, lmao

bradzilla posted:

If you're not paying rent and have 4 sources of income, what the gently caress are you doing? I'm guessing the confessor is frivolously spending on dumb poo poo like fast food and video games, considering her bf is working literally all the time. And yet she's blaming him, lmao

loquacius posted:

We know he plays video games, but that's not necessarily a huge expense. Everybody plays video games. If you're not paying rent, the amount of money you'd need to be throwing at steam sales every week to cancel out three minimum-wage jobs kind of boggles the mind. That's why I didn't think of it as a possibility for our mystery money-sink.

Pearnicious posted:

My money is on her having strong "traditional" values and doesn't think she should have to work. If that's the case she's probably also the one spending the most money.