boner confessor posted:

social media addiction is a real thing and it's going to be something people talk about increasingly over the next 5-10 years as people wreck their lives obsessively checking their phones

Sisal Two-Step posted:

hahahahaha of course they are

boner confessor posted:

social media addiction is a real thing and it's going to be something people talk about increasingly over the next 5-10 years as people wreck their lives obsessively checking their phones

quote:

So a while ago I met this guy at my college dorm area. We chatted for a while. We bonded over being fellow oldies on campus and he told me he had a girlfriend, and then she called him and he put her on speakerphone (WTF in retrospect), but at the time I was thought that since he already had a girlfriend, we could just be friends and there would be no mixed signals or anything, which is good because I am 100% not interested in a relationship (am gay).
So we chatted a couple more times and then a few weeks back he runs into me at the cafeteria and asks if I want to go downtown to hang out. I say sure. We take the bus, chatting all the way there, and when we finally get there, he says that we are going to go to the dildo store. They were hosting an event at the dildo store which he called "a scene". In horror, I asked if this meant that strangers would be loving in front of us. He said, no, it would just be stuff like "'pick up that mail with your teeth' 'yes mistress', it'll be kinky". [Note: he assumed I was straight at the time and asked if I had a boyfriend, no idea why he thought I'd want to watch a "scene" involving two women.]
D/s stuff is completely repugnant to me and I would rather break a bone than even watch it, and I tell him so, and he tries to cajole me into it but I say no. Then we keep chatting because at the time I'm in a mindset that it's just a misunderstanding and I'm being unreasonable, and only after getting home do I realize that, I mean, who the hell just assumes someone else wants to go to the dildo store without even asking first? A part of me thinks it wasn't a mistake, and this was his idea of hitting on me.
At first I think all this is completely hilarious. Then I discover more things about this guy, mostly from Facebook and text messages, such as:
He regularly posts angry political tirades, such as one which consisted of the words "gently caress THE POLICE gently caress THE POLICE gently caress THE POLICE" written 126 times.
He is a brony.
He wrote a thesis on bronyism.
He made a tumblr, and printed out a bunch of fliers advertising his tumblr, and is posting them on bus stops around campus. Said fliers involve one of the MLP ponies displaying her butt in a sexual way.
Apparently he has gotten in trouble for vandalizing campus aside from that, which he considers to be "censorship", which he foams at the mouth about.
He once posted a piece of a paper he wrote, which was him reminiscing about Strawberry Shortcake, which said stuff like "I remember the sexualization of children", and to that end he added a helpful image of Deviant Art Strawberry Shortcake cheesecake in his assignment.
So, like... I don't know. I'm not really conveying this very well but I have such a bad feeling about this guy. I keep running into him, too.
Here is my problem: 1) he thinks he is my friend (or possibly more, based on this dildo affair) and sometimes tries to contact me. So far, I have ignored him. However,
2) I originally met him in the dorm common areas, and he is hanging around there all the time. "Ignoring him" mostly means being confined to my room and not meeting anybody for fear of running into him again.
So my dilemma is, do I politely tell this guy that I don't want to be his friend, and is it fair to even do that when he hasn't, like, done anything wrong, really? Am I overreacting or is he creepy?
TL;DR: How do I let a non-friend down easy? Also, am I overreacting?

monkeytennis posted:

Bit harsh.

Nazzadan posted:

This dude [29M] creeps me [23F] out but he hasn't specifically harmed me. Am I overreacting, and if not, how do I tell him to back off?



There is a quote, "CRAZY F***KING UPDATE?!?" but the mods deleted it.

quote:

It didn't bother me at first but its really started to get to me. Pretty much every time one of hobbies comes up, she goes out of her way to be insulting and make negative comments. I fully admit that I have a lot of very fringe interests (I'm into video games, anime, and the brony community), but it really hurts my feelings when she goes out of her way to be insulting like that. This actually reached kind of a boiling point recently when she found some rule 34 MLP fanart on my computer and started repeatedly accusing me of being immature, which wound up leading to a big fight.
Does anyone know what I should do about this? I really don't want to lose the relationship, but it's becoming too much to take.
tl;dr: My girlfriend often trashes my hobbies and interests to my face, and this is starting to cause tension in our relationship.

Nazzadan posted:

My [25M] girlfriend [23F] does not appreciate any of my hobbies and interests.


I love this one.

UGH, my[25M] girlfriend[23F] found MLP porn on my computer and got skeeved out. What's her DEAL, it's just a HOBBY

Nazzadan posted:

This dude [29M] creeps me [23F] out but he hasn't specifically harmed me. Am I overreacting, and if not, how do I tell him to back off?


 He regularly posts angry political tirades, such as one which consisted of the words "gently caress THE POLICE gently caress THE POLICE gently caress THE POLICE" written 126 times. 


There is a quote, "CRAZY F***KING UPDATE?!?" but the mods deleted it.

Nazzadan posted:

My [25M] girlfriend [23F] does not appreciate any of my hobbies and interests.


I love this one.

UGH, my[25M] girlfriend[23F] found MLP porn on my computer and got skeeved out. What's her DEAL, it's just a HOBBY

Mirthless posted:

lol at the way that he puts being a brony right up there with videogames and anime like beating off to porn of horses from a children's tv show is a completely normal hobby many people share

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

quote:

How do I [23F] get my coworker [40sF] to stop brewing our office coffee incorrectly?

I work in a small office of about 15 people. There are two accountants, one of which gets here around 6:30 AM because she commutes from a neighboring country and wants to avoid the bulk of traffic. She is usually the third person who gets here, but the first person who brews the initial pot of coffee.

The coffee she brews unvaryingly tastes like poo poo. She puts way too many grounds in, which makes the coffee muddy and sour.

I freely admit I am a coffee elitist -- I only recently stopped moonlighting as a barista. However, I understand low-quality coffee exists and there is always a way doctor it up, IF it is brewed correctly. However, we use high quality beans in our office (per my suggestion) but even the highest quality beans will taste like rear end if brewed improperly. That being said, as the second person who arrives in the office and drinks coffee, imagine my daily dose of disappointment when I'm just trying to have my morning mug of joe. I hate being wasteful so I just try to power through, hoping the incoming folks will drink down the remaining pot enough so that I can toss it and re-brew it for my second cup. At that point though, my coffee experience has already been marred by my first cup so satisfaction remains lost. My fellow coffee fiends should know what I mean.

How can I remedy this? I can't come in earlier, so she will inevitably remain brewing the first pot. I don't want to bring coffee from home either because that also will stifle my experience as I'm already frantically trying to get out the door to be at work by 7 AM. The accountant is a sweet lady and I don't want to offend her with my millennial pretension, but I can't continue to begin my day with dog poo poo.

Any suggestions or advice is appreciated!

TL;DR: Accountant in my office brews lovely coffee, need advice on how to fix.

quote:

Is it unaligned with feminism that I like it when my boyfriend orders for me at restaurants?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Portland or Brooklyn?


Also by the OP:

Mirthless posted:

I laughed

Nazzadan posted:

This dude [29M] creeps me [23F] out but he hasn't specifically harmed me. Am I overreacting, and if not, how do I tell him to back off?



There is a quote, "CRAZY F***KING UPDATE?!?" but the mods deleted it.

Pvt.Scott posted:

I'm glad none of you are on my jury, Christ.

Lady leaves phone somewhere after saying she thinks 8ish is maybe when she'll be done, drunk idiot tries to be funny via text on lady's phone and in the process clears the notifications that would have been on the home screen, lady loses track of time but eventually checks phone when on the way home, drama happens.

If you've never had friends or acquaintances vandalize your logged-in Facebook with statuses about how much you love cock (or more likely MySpace, backwhen people were less savvy about logging out on shared comps) or send inappropriate texts/send pictures of ballsacks/leave weird voicemails from your phone...well you probably had better friends than I did at that point in my life. A drunk coworker sending "pithy" innuendo on an open phone does not strain my credulity in the slightest.

By timestamps, she left her phone laying around somewhere for two hours. Oh no, better sever the relationship! I've had my phone on me before and missed text messages because the phone was on vibrate, but stowed in baggy clothing and not pressed against my body, and there was enough ambient noise to drown out the little humming noises. Usually I was having a meal and conversing with a friend or doing something else enjoyable that ended up lasting longer than planned. When I check my phone after leaving, oops, there's 15 missed messages about something that needed my attention an hour or two ago.

I've just started leaving my phone face down on the table at lunch or whatever so I can hear the buzz to at least be aware that I'm getting messages. Then, when there's a lull in the convo, I can take a quick peek and see if it's anything I need to reply to. That's why I leave it face down, so I don't look at it while talking to someone.

Her man has every right to be wary and suspicious, but come on. How is she instantly a deceiving, heartless cheater to you guys? Show me on the doll where your heart was broken.

Pick posted:

CAT CAME FIRST

La Brea Carpet posted:

How do I [23F] get my coworker [40sF] to stop brewing our office coffee incorrectly? 

Moridin920 posted:

fwiw I bet you there's a lot of 50-60 year olds who have been married for 10-20 years doing all kind of swinging/orgy poo poo and they get through it just fine because they aren't drama bombs posting on Reddit

quote:

This is going to be very long. I apologize in advance. If you're against abortion I respect your views, but please don't bash me. I'm going through enough right now
My husband and I have been married for three years. We were both told we were infertile and could not conceive before we even got married, and that rang true for the first three years of our marriage. I found out a week ago I'm a month and a half pregnant.
We have been living with my mother while we get back on our feet after I had a mental breakdown and attempted suicide. I was hospitalized and am doing better, but still having difficulties being stable in the work force. We've been looking at getting an apartment with friends. We are in no way prepared to have a child, and we don't want one. We had planned our entire lives to be childless, and still want that.
Well, my mother is the one who had me take the pregnancy test. When we found out I still stuck by my decision of not wanting children- either we adopt or abort. My mother(42f) went insane. She got a lawyer to try and get some form of rights to the baby so she could take it.
Here's the thing... I already have four siblings living with my mother, one of who is a two year old little girl. My mom can barely afford to feed the household right now, much less another mouth, so I don't see her as being a secure and financially stable home for a new born. I told her this. She kicked us out of the house, and now we're in the process of moving out.
I went to the ER last night for severe abdominal pain. It has nothing to do with the pregnancy we discovered, but they did do an ultrasound, and even after I saw the little bean in me, I cried, but my decision didn't change. I don't want to keep this child, and my husband agrees. We plan to have an abortion.
I have to hide it from my family or I risk being permanently disowned. They will not allow me to to do either unless I keep it or give the baby to them. What do I do, reddit? I've had two miscarriages before when I was a stupid teenager, so I could potentially blame that, but this is the hardest decision of my life and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
tl;dr: Family is disowning me for not keeping unborn child. No idea what to do.

quote:

So everything has essentially gone both great and horribly.
To put it into a nutshell, I went to ER again after making that post for side pain. Come to find out I was at risk for organ failure, and I was taking the baby with it. My endometrial tissue is apparently branched out and connected to other organs, two of which are heavily infected and full of stones and crystallizations. Basically the swelling from the pregnancy was applying pressure and tension on all of this. On top of that? Pregnancy ligament pain.
So, after trips to he doctor, it was found that terminating the pregnancy was actually one of the best options for me to help me heal. My kidney was about to fail, my gall bladder was heavily infected, my bladder was because of my kindey, etc. etc.
My parents knew I was having severe health problems outside of the pregnancy, so I assumed when I told them the honest truth that the pregnancy really did, ultimately, have to all end, they would understand.
Instead my mother is now calling everyone in the family telling them killed her grandchild out of "laziness and immaturity."
My family has completely disowned me. I now only have my husband, my best friend and her long standing boyfriend, and my god mother, who are all doing everything they can to help me cope and heal through this process.
On a better note: My organs are healing nicely. I'm on enough antibiotics to medicate a horse, and pain pills, but I'm on my way to being healthy again with or without my family.

Pick posted:

One of the reasons I like the film ParaNorman is it makes an extremely good point about how happy the bullied are to become bullies as soon as they have the leverage to do so.

quote:

Our story is long so bear with me please.

Essentially we started an open relationship in October of 2016, went into it eyes wide open, I thought I had sex and love 100% separate, he did too. We had some really good times for a while, threesome, almost foursome, messing around on tinder and our own sex life just exploded with passion.

Well in late November before thanksgiving we had a situation come up with our landlord and couldn't find a place in time, so we mutually agreed to stay with our parents till January 20th when we were going to move in a small cheap place together again. We agreed we would still see each other all the time, my mom and brother love him and had no problem with him just straight up living here.

We got thru the holidays just fine! Sex was a little harder to pull of but drat we tried to keep our selves together!

And then two weeks ago on Friday while we were talking durning my lunch break on the phone he tells me out of no where he has a "date" set up with a woman.

I was a little taken aback, because while we didn't talk about it, and yes I know that's on me entirely, I had assumed we were taking a slow down with the open relationship while we lived separately. I don't know why I thought that, other than it would be hard to sleep with other people at our parents. But it seemed that way to me, neither of us had really even mentioned anything about it other than to say "Gee can't wait to have our own place together and have people over again".

And then he told me the woman's name. She happened to be the "one that got away". The woman he tried to date before me. Literally a month or so before we got together. The only reason it didn't work was because for some reason she would make plans and just keep canceling.

As soon as he mentioned her name I had an awful feeling. Since I was at work I didn't say anything, I only had 30 minutes on break and I'd rather talk this out in person I thought.

Fast forward to Tuesday, he comes to spend the week and we talk. I tell him I'm uncomfortable, after some internal debating over weather it was something I could keep quiet about or not. I ask him if we can maybe slow our roll for just a couple weeks till we live together again.

Well you'd think I'd stabbed him. He reacted immediately and didn't pull any punches. It boiled down to if he couldn't sleep with this person at that time then he was done. He said no more open relationship because I would just react this way every time he picked a new person.

He was angry and betrayed he said. If I changed my mind about this what else would I change my mind about.

Again I was just floored. Where was my talkative and thoughtful boyfriend? Any time we had a problem we talked it through.

He says he needs space and leaves. Over that weekend we hardly talked. I tried, I tried to leave him alone but I was hurting too and I reached out. I asked if we would be ok.

He told me he hoped so.

This Saturday he said he didn't think we could live together anymore. And then more radio silence. I got a little desperate and begged him to talk to me. He put it off again and again until today. I told him he had to come talk to me, if he wanted this to work we needed to talk.

That was the wrong move.

He did come to see me. We yelled a bit back and forth, essentially he just poured all this anger out on me. Apparently he's had problems for a while with us and he felt like he couldn't talk to me. I didn't make him happy.

I asked if he was breaking up with me. He said yes. I make him unhappy.

And now here I am, half drunk and feel like I'm dying on the inside. We went thru so much together, we had a miscarriage that made it to four months together. My brother died, his grandmother died. We just were so perfect together I thought. And now I'm second guessing everything.

TL;DR We had an open relationship, some discomfort and communication, fight lead to the out pouring of all of our relationship flaws. What do I do now?

I guess I don't know what I'm looking for here, some kind of advice on how to go on when you feel like you lost your heart. And how to deal with the guilt of all of this.

Pick posted:

They will always, always leave you for the one who got away. Even if they know that it's a bad idea.

Mirthless posted:

"Let's open the relationship up so we can start nailing our exes again nonstop/pursue people we had crushes on or were deeply in love with at one time" is always the funniest turn to take in these stories, it always ends this way

Like if you're really think you can separate love and sex, you should probably keep people you legitimately loved (or deeply pined for) before your current relationship out of the loving equation

Ratjaculation posted:

Odd to see the dude smashing the open relationship for once

Moridin920 posted:

Was thinking the same thing lol

Pick posted:

They will always, always leave you for the one who got away. Even if they know that it's a bad idea.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

Tale as old as time, chapter 43.

My [23f] boyfriend [27m] left me after an open relationship disaster. Where to go from here?

Mirthless posted:

"Gee, I was married to this person for five years and we have a kid together, but I'm sure I can start loving him/her without hurting my current relationship or getting attached again, no problem"

lmao people what the gently caress do you think is gonna happen

quote:

Hello. I"m 27m, and my girlfriend of one year [24f] and I have been going strong. During our first few months, I saw that she had a bottle of axe, and I said, "Is that your version of an air freshener?" She told me that it belonged to her ex. They had dated from high school throughout college, so I figured, ok...
She moved a few months ago, and while we were packing/moving, I saw the axe, and I said, "Did you still want to keep this?" She said, "Nah, I'll probably just toss it," and we went on our merry way.
Just last week, I went into her dresser to look for something (not snooping, genuinely looking for something) and in the back corner, I see this axe bottle.
At this point, I don't really feel like bringing it up anymore, as I feel like I'm beating a dead horse. This obviously means something to her, (she brought it across the country to her first residence when we started dating, and moved it again to her new place) and I don't really want to push her into it...but...they've been broken up for 3 years now. Is this weird?
TL;DR - my girlfriend of a year still has her ex's deodorant in the back of her dresser. Is it weird?

Moridin920 posted:

I would assume she likes his 'scent' (or a reminder of it at least) as a way to remember some good times in the past or that it's a drug stash. Dunno that it would really bother me that much either way other than if it is a drug stash I expect her to share damnit.

It's prolly the former though and it's not a big deal but she doesn't want to make the current bf think she's still into the ex or something.

Mirthless posted:

keeping around something simply so you can be reminded of their scent definitely qualifies as still being into somebody imo

quote:

esp if you were kind of slightly deceptive about it

I'm not saying she's in the wrong or he's in the right necessarily, they've only been dating two months, but I think if she gets serious or they consider themselves serious she should probably pitch it.

Moridin920 posted:

Depends on the context really. Maybe it's her quilt.

Mirthless posted:

keeping around something simply so you can be reminded of their scent definitely qualifies as still being into somebody imo

esp if you were kind of slightly deceptive about it

I'm not saying she's in the wrong or he's in the right necessarily, they've only been dating two months, but I think if she gets serious or they consider themselves serious she should probably pitch it.

edit: poo poo I don't know how I got 2 months, they've been together a year? Jeeze. It'd skeeve me out if I found it after she said she was going to pitch it, if nothing else.